Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam 00 or any of the characters.

Chapter 1

Feldt Grace stared at the messy head of charcoal hair on the pillow next to her. She smiled sleepily and reached out under the sheets of the single bed she was squeezed in and wrapped her arm tightly around the naked man next to her. He was warm and let out a little grunt as she held him.

"Setsuna," Feld whispered and blinked her turquoise eyes in amusement as he grumbled and tried to turn over.

A lot had happened in the past 6 months and it was a whirlwind for the young girl. She had gone from admiring Setsuna F. Seiei from afar to being in a relationship with him. She adored him and some days thought she was living a dream and would wake up to find out it was all a lie. He had always been cold and focused on Celestial Being and their objectives. He came across as hardened, but Feldt knew he had the largest heart of all of them and she admired him deeply for that. She was grateful he had been willing to give their relationship a chance after an impromptu trip to Ireland. Feldt rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling at the thought of that trip. She felt the Ptolomey lurch as they must have hit an underwater current as the carrier ship zoomed through the deep ocean.

"Feldt."

She turned her head to find herself staring at two sleepy chestnut eyes and smiled at him.

"Did you rest well? I know it's cramped for us to both fit in these beds."

Setsuna sat up and rubbed his eyes, the sheets pooling around his waist and Feldt eyed his tanned bare chest.

"I slept fine, I don't mind the size of the bed."

Feldt found herself blushing as Setsuna leaned down and kissed her deeply. Feldt sighed and melted into the kiss as he came down on top of her. She relished his weight on top of her and she moaned in response. They broke contact and the sleepiness was gone from Setsuna's eyes and they were filled with something else. Feldt could feel desires pooling in her lower belly and she squeezed her legs together tightly at the feeling. Setsuna looked down at her with a wild appearance, his charcoal hair in disarray and his chestnut eyes with a hint of fire in them. Feldt felt as though she was a sheep and he was a wolf about to descend on its prey. He grabbed her shoulders and flipped her onto her stomach effortlessly. He always seemed to do this and wasn't one for making eye contact when they had sex or enjoying much foreplay. Feldt let out a small disappointed sigh and weight settled across her backside. There was a pause and in one swift movement she felt Setsuna bury himself inside her. Her hands fisted around the sheets and she let out a gasp as he started a moderate pace, gripping her hips to support himself. He was silent and all the girl could hear was small squeaks from the single sized bed. Feldt let out little groans as he continued, her body trying to catch up to his and just as she was starting to enjoy herself he was finished. He pulled out of her and rolled himself off of her backside with a huff.

They had been together several months now, but she still found herself feeling self conscious and embarrassed with him. She glanced over at him with a small blush on her cheeks as she turned herself over. He was still as awkward as ever, but tried hard in his own way to give what he could to their relationship. She remembered how hesitant he had been and how he had at one point blatantly told her no because his duty as a Gundam meister was too important. It meant more to her than she would ever know that he had made room for her in his heart when he had much more important things to worry about than her. The world at war and their armed interventions had always seemed like normal life for Feldt; it was all she knew, but now every time there was a mission she felt sick because there was always a chance someone from the ship didn't come back. This had happened to her before and she let out an uncomfortable sigh as she thought of the first Lockon Stratos, Neil Dylandy. It was still like a punch in the gut every time she thought about him losing his life.

Setsuna stood up and Feldt watched him walk to the other side of the small room. She eyed his bare back and her eyes traveled lower, the blush growing hotter on her cheeks. He pulled open the plain dresser and started getting dressed.

"Setsuna," she started and paused.

"What is it?" he glanced over his shoulder as he pulled his blue uniform on.

"Are you leaving again?"

"Probably."

Feldt knew there was a meeting with Miss Sumeragi and the meisters today and likely they would be receiving another mission. She let out a sigh. She knew this going into a relationship with Setsuna, no matter what way she cut it, Celestial Being was first, she was second. He was special and took the weight of the world on his shoulders. She was willing to be second because he was doing work for the good of the world.

"I'll miss you," she said as he finished getting dressed and walked toward the door.

He let out a small grunt in response with a nod and paused. The Krugis man hesitated at the door and glanced over his shoulder at Feldt who watched him from the bed with a frown. He turned slowly and moved toward her, placing a hand on top of her messy pink hair and giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. He didn't say a word and Feldt watched the door close. She was left alone and she flopped onto her back with a sigh.

"You're a good girl, you know that? He doesn't deserve someone like you."

Feldt's eyebrows shot up as she heard a voice in her head and she swallowed uncomfortably. A voice that belonged to someone she tried not to think about and tried to interact with as little as possible. She felt sick to her stomach at that moment and got up quickly. She made her way to the small bathroom and splashed cold water on her face and stared at herself in the mirror. Her turquoise eyes looked confused and her lips formed a frown. She felt guilty and disgusted with herself. No matter how hard she tried, since that trip to Ireland she wasn't able to let him go. She thought now that she was with Setsuna everything would be perfect. He was the man she had wanted for so long and now they were lovers. It should be great, but Feldt found her eyes wandering occasionally to the meister who wore a forest green uniform and had bright blue eyes.

"Lyle…" she muttered, feeling disgusted with herself and turned the bathroom light off.

….

Lyle Dylandy blew smoke through his lips as he took a long draw on his cigarette. He reveled in the smokey taste and closed his eyes as it hit his lungs. He glanced down at his other hand that held a crystal glass filled with neat whiskey.

"Hitting it a little hard aren't you?"

Lyle glanced at Allelujah who sat down next to him with a small smile. They sat alone in the mess hall and Lyle tapped his cigarette on the table.

"Miss Sumeragi will kill you if she catches you smoking in here or putting your butt out on the table," Allelujah said.

Lyle shrugged, "Let her."

"Lockon…"

"What?"

"Ever since our trip…"

Lyle's eyes narrowed and he put his glass down on the table harshly, "Knock it off."

Allelujah stopped talking and frowned, "This isn't good for anyone."

Lyle let out a growl and squeezed his glass tightly. He lifted it and took a swig and enjoyed the burn of the alcohol down his throat. He missed Anew and hated that she was gone forever. He had sworn he wouldn't love anyone like he loved her, but then an unexpected pink haired girl had wormed her way into his heart. He thought it was innocent fun and teasing a young girl like her was just entertainment. He took her virginity and they had spent time together where she learned about his past and he learned about hers. She was a remarkable young woman and he still regretted how they had started off on a horrible foot. He had stolen her first kiss and instantly tried to hate her because she loved his brother. She looked at him like some kind of sick clone. He wasn't a replacement for his brother and it seemed like she learned that pretty quick after their first encounter.

"Lockon Stratos."

Lyle's blue eyes shot up to see Tieria Erde glaring at him with crimson eyes and an unforgiving expression.

"In here moping as usual I see. You've been pathetic ever since your woman died, even more so since we took that trip to your home. You don't deserve to pilot that mobile suit with such fragile emotions," the innovator scoffed.

Allelujah looked hesitantly between the two and felt extremely uncomfortable. The tension in the air was thick.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Lyle ground out as he took another sip of his whiskey, "I came here to be alone and I have people bugging me left and right."

"If you want to be alone, drink alone in your room. It seems to me like you're coming out here asking for pity from everyone. Get over yourself," Tieria snapped.

Lyle shot up and grabbed the purple haired man by the collar of his shirt and an aggressive growl, "Get out of my face."

"Lyle!"

The Irishman's mouth went dry at the sound of the voice behind him. He hesitantly loosened his grip on Tieria's shirt and turned stiffly to see Feldt standing in the doorway with a worried expression.

Tieria huffed and brushed himself off, "Ridiculous," he spat.

"Feldt," Allelujah spoke up and smiled at the girl.

Feldt worriedly looked between Lyle and Tieria. She had heard them down the hallway and was going to avoid the situation, but couldn't control herself and came to see what was going on.

"Is everything okay?" Feldt asked hesitantly.

Tieria brushed past her and left the mess hall, "Not my problem," he said as he left the area.

Feldt looked after the feminine man and then her eyes went back to Lyle and Allelujah.

"Rough day," Allelujah said in response as Lyle remained silent.

"It's still morning…" Lyle trailed off.

"Another reason why you shouldn't be smoking and drinking in the cafeteria," Allelujah said with a scowl, his heterochromic eyes glaring at the older meister next to him.

"No one here likes to have a good time," Lyle shrugged with a smile on his face, "Too bad."

Feldt could tell he was putting on a show to act like he was okay, but clearly he wasn't. She was extremely worried about him. She had caught him with a drink in his hand more times than she would like to remember since their trip to Ireland. She knew that he enjoyed a drink now and then, but clearly he was doing more than he normally did. Guilt welled inside of her because she wondered if she was the reason he was acting this way. He had struggled since Anew's death, but since their trip and now that she was with Setsuna, it seemed to have gotten worse.

"I'm out of here," Lyle said nonchalantly and brushed past the pink haired girl.

She watched him move down the hall toward his quarters and a frown covered her lips.

"Feldt."

She glanced at Allelujah who motioned for her to sit next to him. Feldt sighed and walked slowly over to the super soldier. She sat down next to him and sighed.

"What's on your mind?" he asked her.

"A lot," she answered honestly.

"How's Setsuna? He just left for a mission right?" Allelujah asked.

Feldt hesitated, "He's fine and yes he did."

Allelujah watched Feldt carefully and stated, "I know it's not my place, but Lockon is having a tough time right now. It might be nice if you talked to him. He seems like he's been extra down recently."

Feldt felt dread well up within her, "I can't."

Allelujah frowned, "Why? You two are friends aren't you?"

"You know more than that went on before," Feldt sputtered, a blush coating her cheeks.

"Doesn't mean you can't talk to him."

Feldt stood up, "I'm with Setsuna," she said seriously.

"Really… could have fooled me," Allelujah said dryly.

The systems engineer said nothing further and left the room. She went to the bridge and was scolded by Sumeragi as she was late for her shift. She sighed as she got to work typing on her station. Her body was on autopilot and her mind drifted elsewhere. She wondered how Setsuna was doing on his mission to the Middle East. She knew he was probably seeing Marina Ismail. Those two shared a special bond and had a friendship she could never understand. She couldn't help the small feeling of jealousy that welled up inside her. She knew that Setsuna confided in Marina and had conversations with her that he never had with anyone else. He trusted her deeply. Feldt wanted to be that person for him, but no matter what she did, Marina was always his safe person to confide in or have discussions with. She wondered what Setsuna was doing at this very moment and the thought of him being with Marina made Feldt feel irritated. She hated that she felt that way, but had no control over it.

"You seem distracted today, Feldt," Sumeragi said.

Feldt paused and turned in her chair to see Lasse, Sumeragi and Mileina staring at her with concerned expressions.

"I've got a lot on my mind."

"Setsuna is gone, she probably misses him," Mileina gushed, adoring the idea of the two being a couple.

"He'll be back in a few days, don't worry," Sumeragi said with a small smile.

"You're right," Feldt said and her eyes went down to her hands on the keyboard, "Thanks for your concern."

She felt guilt inside her grow as her mind shifted from her lover to her former and first lover. She was worried about him, but was unable to talk to him about what was going on. She had no idea how to approach him, but felt like she needed to try because everyone on this ship was family to her and she didn't like seeing anyone suffer.

….

"Setsuna."

"Marina Ismail."

The two looked at each other carefully and Setsuna sat down across from her at the dinner table in her palace. The princess royal of Azadistan continued to eat and smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're here, have you decided to stay with me so we can attempt to stop fighting together?" she asked hopefully.

"No," he stated shortly.

She paused and watched him carefully, "Why have you come?"

"For clarity."

…..

It was way past her bedtime and Feldt's eyelids were heavy. She stared into the darkness of her room and could smell Setsuna's earthy scent on her pillow. The bed felt cold around her and she curled into a ball to try and keep warm. Her mind drifted and she found herself thinking about Ireland when she roomed with Lyle.

"Stop," she muttered, trying to clear the thoughts from her mind.

She tossed and turned for the next several minutes before letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I need to talk to him, I can't keep doing this," she said as she threw the sheets off her body and got out of bed.

Feldt left her room without a second thought and quickly walked down the hallway in her pink pajama t shirt and short patterned pajama shorts to a door she always wanted to avoid. She paused and listened carefully, hearing nothing but silence. She tapped on the door with her finger lightly, her heart beating out of her chest. She couldn't believe how anxious she was, she never felt this nervous with Setsuna and her heart never pounded like this with him. She waited several minutes before knocking harder with her knuckles, but there was still no response.

"Lyle," she whispered, biting her lip.

The door remained closed and Feldt sighed. She glanced at the keypad next to the door and found herself typing on it before she could process what she was thinking and hacked the code. The door in front of her opened and she stepped inside. The door closed and she was left standing in pitch black darkness.

"Lyle," she called out quietly.

There was no response and she reached for the light switch on the wall. She was lucky all the rooms in the ship were identical so she knew where everything was. The light flashed on and her eyes went to the bed where she saw a mess of brown hair and Lyle Dylandy sleeping peacefully. She couldn't help the smile that found its way to her lips and she approached him carefully.

"Lyle," she said again softly.

She knelt down next to the bed and called his name again. The meister did not stir and continued to breathe evenly as he slept. She reached out and brushed his brown hair out of his face and smiled. Feldt inhaled sharply when his nose wrinkled at her touch and a tired blue eye opened. Once it focused on her the other shot open and he was immediately awake.

"Feldt, what's going on? Is there an enemy attack?" He asked urgently, trying to sit up.

She placed her hand on his shoulder and shook her head, "No, there's not. I just came to check on you."

He tilted his head, "I'm fine."

"It doesn't seem that way."

"It's not your problem. You should worry about Setsuna," he replied with a hint of irritation.

Feldt stood up and stepped back as he got out of bed and brushed by her to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and she sat down on the rumpled sheets.

"What am I doing?" she muttered to herself, squeezing her fists in her lap.

In the bathroom Lyle glared at himself in the mirror and let out a shaky breath.

"What is she doing?" He grumbled and turned his shower on.

Hopefully she would be gone by the time he finished. He pulled off his wrinkled white t-shirt and stepped out of his underwear, throwing everything in the corner of the small room. He stepped under the hot spray of the shower and closed his eyes.