Hey guys. Once again ANOTHER Fem!Jon fic for all you genderbender fans. Only this time, this'll be a one shot series with no organized timeline. This is all about family, hurt/comfort, drama, and love.
So, without further ado, I'm kicking off this one shot series with something we never got to see in the tv series. Enjoy.
The Truth: You know how infants love getting into places they're not supposed to? Well here's what happened when Lyarra took it a step further.
The sound of two infants giggling filled the nursery as Eddard Stark played with his two pups, his heir, Robb Stark, and his bastard daughter, Lyarra Snow. Both children reached their first year of life just a fortnight ago, and were already crawling around. But Robb was more energetic while Lyarra preferred to sit quiet among the toys Eddard presented her, only moving whenever Robb pulled her over to attack their father.
Catelyn stood in the doorway watching her husband smile tenderly at his children and imitating wolf growls, drawing bouts of laughter from the babies. No one, aside from her and Maester Luwin, ever saw this side of the Quiet Wolf who was always stoic in the presence of other lords. She smiled when she saw her baby boy use Eddard's legs as support to stand on his own two feet. When he plopped back on his bottom, but didn't whine about it, he just looked more determined.
Cat laughed at the action which brought her son's attention to her. With an excited smile, he crawled over to his mother who stepped into the room and swiftly kneeled to receive him as he clamored into her embrace.
Ned smiled at his wife and trueborn child while Lyarra rested her head on his knee the way a pup would do when she wants to rest. Cat cuddled her son as she looked up, only to blush when she caught her husband smile lovingly at her. A year has been since the Rebellion, and they slowly but surely found a way to get along with each other. They weren't in love yet, but they've gotten closer thanks to their son.
Movement on her husband's knee caused her to look down to see the Snow child nuzzling Ned's leg as her sire rubbed her back in a familiar comforting manner. That good feeling disappeared at the sight of her husband's bastard. While it's been a year since the war, it has also been a year with Lyarra Snow. A year of having to watch the evidence of her husband's dishonor and the betrayal to their marriage. How her husband could bring this child into their home and let her walk among their children, she will never understand.
Lyarra turned her head to look up at the beautiful red haired woman that was Robb's mother. He always crawled over to her whenever she entered the room. Lyarra wanted to be held by her too, but felt the woman would not appreciate it. So she settled with watching them peacefully, slightly envious at her brother at being held in a mother's embrace. She pushed her tiny body away from her father and crawled over to where her toys were, leaving the safety and comfort of his presence out of respect to her brother's mother. Even at a young age, she knew that Ned Stark was that woman's territory and she dared not intrude.
Ned watched Lyarra crawl away from him, his eye filled with sadness and affection for the Snow child. How painful her future will bring her just for being born in a cruel unjust world. She looks like his sister Lyanna Stark, but was calm and quiet, too quiet at times that it almost terrified him for he feared she may no longer be alive.
Cat watched her Ned watch Lyarra with the same sadness reserved solely for the Snow child. Whoever this child's mother was, Ned must truly love her and miss her. She wanted to know the woman's name, who she was and why she chose to give their child to Ned. Yet all Ned would say, "I made a promise to protect her fore she is my blood. I am all she has in this world, and she is all I have left of her." The way he spoke of the girl's mother, it didn't take much for anyone to realize that the woman died sometime after child birth. Cat herself knew the pain of growing up without a mother at a young age, and while she felt a small amount of pity for the girl's lack of a mother figure, it was not enough to quell the jealousy and betrayal she feels every time she looks upon her.
A knock on the doorway pulled their attention to the new arrival to see Maester Luwin standing just outside the room. "Pardon me Lord Stark, but a raven scroll from House Reed arrived." he informed his liege lord who stood up with a groan. On his way towards the door, he bent down to place a kiss to Cat's cheek and caressed Robb's head. "I'll be back soon." he said as he followed Maester Luwin and took the scroll and saw that it was urgent with another symbol that only Ned can only understand. One that involves the Snow child.
Cat was left alone with Robb and Lyarra. She wanted nothing more than to not be in the same room as her, but that would mean leaving her alone unattended. Old Nan was on bed rest and the wet nurse that was assigned to Lyarra left months before her first birthday. So with a heavy heart, she had to tolerate the girl's presence until Ned came back. But thankfully, the Snow child looked content to just play with her toys silently. A familiar foul stench met her nose, one that made her to stand up swiftly and carry Robb to the changing table.
Lyarra watched her brother being attended to by Lady Catelyn. That warmth in the woman's eyes whenever she sees Robb left Lyarra yearning for one as well. She wanted to voice her needs, tell the woman that she too wants to be held as well. But she refrained from doing so since Robb needed Cat more. She sighed quietly as her attention turned to the flames from the hearth. It was far away from them, but it still gave the room the warmth it needs in the ever cold North.
She watched the flames dance in front of her, mesmerized by its movement and presence, as though it was calling to her. She glanced at Lady Catelyn who was engrossed with Robb and felt that yearning again. If Catelyn won't share her warmth the way she did with Robb, maybe the flames there can. With all the stealth that only a baby could master, she crawled over to the hearth, her body seeking the warmth only the fire can give her. She climbed over the stone slap the way a puppy would over a staircase. She stopped just before the opening, staring at the embers curiously, enchanted by how they glow and sometimes flicker. With her tiny hand, she buried her fingers into the embers and giggled at the ticklish yet comforting sensation that traveled through her body. Without hesitance, she fully climbed into the flames, the fires consumed her, but she felt as though she was being embraced as she sat inside the hearth without a care in the world. Even as her clothes turned to ashes, she didn't mind as long as the fires continued to hold her like this. A loud gasp caused her look up to see Lady Catelyn stare at her in shock and fear, on hand to her mouth as she held a newly changed Robb against her chest.
The Snow child's giggles caused Catelyn to look up and get the shock of her life. Her hand flew to her mouth to stifle the scream that wanted to shake the walls of Winterfell with her arms wrapped securely around Robb. There in the hearth, sat a happy Lyarra surrounded by flames but was completely unaffected by the heat. Her baby clothes fell from her body to ashes, but her skin was unburnt. The child stared back at her innocently, not realizing that what she was doing and what was happening was completely impossible.
"Lyarra!" Ned's normally quiet voice bellowed when he saw what was happening to his daughter. Maester Luwin was not too far behind when he got the full view of the Snow child engulf yet unburnt by the flames. "Oh Gods." The old Maester exclaimed quietly as he beheld the infant smiling content among the embers, as though she was having a warm bath.
Ned quickly snatched Lyarra from the hearth, ignoring the sting the flames gave him and patted away any remaining fires that lingered on his daughter. Her clothes were completely gone, her body was covered in ash spots, but there was not a single mark on her. His hands were burnt, but not Lyarra.
Lyarra made a sound as she looked up at her father's fear stricken face. Her little soot covered fingers touched his face, smudging his cheeks in the process. Why was her father making that face? Father's aren't supposed to be scared.
Ned let out a shuddering breath as he brought Lyarra closer to his body, as though to shield her from everyone's eyes. The previous fear he felt was replaced by a new one, the truth. One he can't run from right now.
He glanced back at the raven scroll he dropped in his haste to save his daughter, the words echoed in his mind:
'Lord Stark, it's time to tell Cat the truth. Howland Reed.'
He has to burn that scroll.
"Ned?" Catelyn's voice pulled him back to the harsh reality he must face. Her face was filled with shock, and her body trembled from head to toe at what she just witnessed. He glanced at Maester Luwin who was quickly putting the pieces together as he stared at the child with tears of joy in his eyes. He was always quick to figure things out.
Ned bowed his head in resignation as he quickly gathered Lyarra in his arms and carried her to a basin, picking up the raven scroll on the way.
Catelyn watched her husband and Luwin attend to the Snow child as stories from childhood sprang forth from her mind, one regarding Targaryens and their legendary fireproof skin. Had Ned slept with Queen Rhaella? No, that was an impossibility fore the Targaryen queen was already with child before Ned went off to war. Had Brandon...no he never got the chance to. Eddard brought that baby all the way from Dorne when he went to rescue his sister-
Cat's eyes widened as she began pieced everything together. "Ned, she's your-"
"We'll talk in the Godswood Cat." Eddard commanded in a firm voice, one he never directed at her before. But the pained look in his eyes stopped her from saying anything. How this must be hurting him.
Ned breathed deeply as he dried Lyarra off and gave her warmer clothes and wrapped her tightly in a fur cloak. Cat followed his lead and did the same for Robb, where he plans to tell her, he wants the children to come with them. Maester came back to treat the burns on Eddard's hands before they leave.
Once they were all ready for their family outing in the Godswood, Eddard tossed the raven scroll into the flames and watched the parchment turn to ashes. He turned to his old teacher, "Maester Luwin I-"
"It's alright Lord Stark, I know." Maester gave him a kind smile and patted him on the shoulder and said, "I won't speak a word of this."
Ned breathed out a sigh of relief at his most trusted friend and advisor. "Thank you." He said as he held a confused Lyarra tightly to his chest.
Luwin turned to Cat, giving her an encouraging nod then walked away towards the library to brush up on his studies pertaining to Targaryens.
Ned sighed as he turned to his wife and beckoned, "Let's go."
Cat followed Ned to the Godswood, each with a child in their arms. The servants they passed bowed in respect to their liege lord and lady, some of them cooing in adoration at the beautiful children they carried. If not for the public knowledge that one of them was an illegitimate child, they would have thought they were one happy family.
When they reached the Godswood of Winterfell, Ned lead them to where the Heart Tree was located, its carved face watching them, yet never speaking. Ned laid his cloak on the ground for the babies to lie on as he sat against the trunk of the weirwood tree. He gestured for Cat to sit beside him as they watched their children play with each other. For a long moment, neither of them spoke, their eyes never left the infants.
Catelyn was the one who finally broke the suffocating silence, "The truth now Ned, who is her father?" Cat asked despite figuring it out, but she wanted to hear it from Eddard Stark himself.
Ned bowed his head, unable to lie before the Old Gods and his wife. "Rhaegar Targaryen."
Cat swallowed, "And her mother, Lyanna Stark. She's dead. They're both dead."
Ned nodded mournfully, "Aye. An orphan created out of love and tragedy."
"She's Rhaegar's bastard then." Catelyn concluded as she watched Lyarra stare at her surroundings, at the red leaves above them. Now that she got a proper look at her, she can see all the Valyrian features in her cheekbones and lips. How could she not see that? Was she that blinded by jealousy and anger not to notice the similarities to her good sister and the Dragon Prince? Gods she really was a fool.
"No Cat. She's not a bastard." Ned shook his head as Cat turned to face him for the first time since they entered the Godswood. His eyes were full of sorrow and grief as he watched Lyarra, but was seeing his sister instead.
"Rhaegar annulled his marriage to Elia Martell and wedded my sister in Dorne. She's a trueborn child of House Targaryen." Ned answered as Lyarra's eyes followed the steam coming off the pond.
Cat's eyes widened in realization. "Then...she's a princess. A threat to Robert and the Lannister's claim to the Iron Throne."
Ned nodded, "If the truth is ever known-"
"-then Robert will tear the realms apart to destroy her. It will be war." Catelyn finished as the situation hit her with full force. Not only was he harboring and dragon in his home, he was hiding a secret princess, a legitimate heir to the Iron Throne.
Ned bowed his head, "I am so sorry Cat."
"Sorry for what? For lying? For protecting your sister's child?" Cat released an incredulous breath as she turned to see Robb getting a wee too close to the water before Lyarra made a sound that directed his attention back to his sister and away from the pond.
"I'm sorry Cat." Ned apologized again. "I didn't know what else to do, I couldn't find a way out of this without hurting you. I promised Lyanna that I would protect her. Claiming her as my bastard is the only way I can keep her safe from Robert, from everyone." He ran a hand through his hair, "Robert didn't even show remorse over what Tywin did to Elia and her children. He may be my friend and my king, but I'll never let him take Lyarra from me. She's all I have left of her." He vowed as he watched Lyarra pat Robb's head and hugged him to keep him safe from the water.
Cat's eyes filled with tears as she felt sorrow for her husband, for Rhaegar, for Lyanna, and most of all for Lyarra. A child born of love, yet forced to live a lie in order to be safe. Guilt seared into her soul for her unjust hatred towards an innocent child. She herself has siblings, both of whom she loves dearly. Would she also claim their children as her bastards to keep them safe? The answer is simple, of course she would.
"Why didn't you tell me from the beginning Ned? Were you really going to let me hate her for this lie? How long were you planning to keep this to yourself?" Cat asked, her voice cracked as guilt burned through her. How she hates herself for her mistreatment of Lyarra.
Ned's eyes were full of regret and guilt. "The moment I claimed Lyarra as my bastard, I vowed to take it to my grave. That way, this secret will die with me. Even if it meant you never forgiving me." He swallowed, "I wanted to tell you from the very beginning. But if Robert found out, it would only be my head on a spike, not yours. But I failed to do that."
Cat was silent as she wept before the Heart Tree. His devotion to his family was stronger than his honor and hers. As much as her heart broke at knowing the awful truth, she felt herself falling in love with him for bearing this burden of a secret. That takes more strength than anyone.
Her hands reached out and held both sides of his face until he was looking straight at her. "I forgive you." she whispered to Ned's surprised gaze. She didn't release him as she connected their foreheads. "You don't have to bear this burden alone anymore Ned. You're my husband, we must give each other strength if we are to protect our family, especially Lyarra."
"Cat..." Ned tried to speak when he felt the weight being lifted from his shoulders.
"She's our daughter Ned." Catelyn firmly said, resolve set in her face like the Northerner she became.
Tears streamed down his face for the first time since his sister died. He embraced Cat as he wept into her shoulder and she soothed him of all the pain he kept locked away since the war. Keeping this secret and lying to everyone, especially Catelyn, was eating him alive. If there was one thing Northerners disvalue about the South, is lies and deceit. For Ned's case, this was a constant upset stomach for him.
"From now on Ned, don't ever think that you should do this alone." Cat whispered before he pulled away to look at her. "Also, never lie to me like that again." She firmly said to her husband who smiled, "As my lady commands." Cat smiled before she boldly kissed him, one he was happy enough to return.
A tug on Catelyn's dress pulled her away from the kiss to see Robb standing on his feet, babbling his language as he stared up at his parents. Cat laughed as she picked him up and gave him multiple kisses that caused him to squeal in laughter. Eddard smiled as he took Robb from Catelyn who now directed her gaze at little Lyarra.
Lyarra looked lonely as she stared at her brother receiving such affection from his mother. But that was fine, she was used to it already. Besides, the fire will make her feel better, she just needs to wait until the right moment to feel its warmth again.
"Lyarra." Her head perked up at the sound of her name from the one person she didn't expect. The woman knelt down from her perch beside Ned and Robb and held her arms out to the infant. "Lyarra come here." she beckoned her to come forth.
Can this be true, is Lady Catelyn offering her a hug, like the ones she gives Robb? She glanced at her father, who smiled and nodded at her, telling her that it's okay. She turned back to Lady Catelyn who smiled in encouragement. The baby sensed no danger or an aura that told her to stay away. With slight hesitance, she moved forward on her hands and knees, crawling towards her brother's mother until she was picked up and held against the woman's chest. A foreign sensation bloomed inside Lyarra's body, it was almost like the warmth she felt sitting in the fire, only this time, she was sharing it with another person who had a motherly presence. She held onto Lady Catelyn and nuzzled into her chest as her ear caught the strange 'thumping' sound from inside the woman. Distantly, she remembered being surrounded by that sound in a dark yet warm place. That beautiful rhythmic thumping made her feel safe and loved. The one who always made that sound was-
"Ma." Lyarra babbled as she cuddled into Catelyn.
Cat sat down as Lyarra settled within her embrace. "That's right Lyarra, mama's here." She smiled as she rubbed Lyarra's back. All the negative feelings she felt previously melted away as her maternal instincts took affect.
'Lyanna, I promise you, I will love and protect her always. No harm shall ever befall her, not from Robert, Tywin, or anyone who would dare use her.' They spent the whole day in the Godswood, playing together as a family with the Old Gods watching over them.
