Hagrid: The Friendly Neighbourhood Giant
AN: Just a small tribute to Robbie Coltrane/Hagrid may he rest in peace.
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You never know just how long you've got with someone until they're gone.
You're standing or sitting somewhere, living your day-to-day life as perusal. Perhaps you've started dinner or you're talking with you family members.
Your day is as normal as is, until you get the message you've always dreaded.
They're gone!
You shake your head in disbelief. You tell yourself it can't be. You don't understand what's going on.
You find yourself running. You find someone, anyone who can help you understand.
Why do they say that? It can't be true.
They tell you it is. They tell you once again; they're gone.
Your heart swells up and your blood runs cold as you realise that you'll never see their face again. Never hear their voice again. Never see their perfect smile or hear that hilarious ugly laugh of theirs.
Tears stream down your face as the realisation hits you, that the next time you see them, you'll finally be asleep yourself.
You throat tightens. Yours eyes sting. Your hearts swells some more. You just can't breath.
It hurts!
It hurts more than pain itself.
You just wish you could see them again. Hold them, talk to them, be with them, say goodbye.
You don't understand. You ask the universe, why? Why them? Why not me?
Why take someone filled with such a bright light from a world already shrouded in darkness?
What did they do to deserve this?
You bargain with God, fate, life, death, magic, something even greater perhaps but you wish with every fibre in your being, with every ounce of your soul and you pray that they come back and continue to spread their beautiful light.
You know it's pointless but you do it anyway because you don't know how to live without them.
They're not just a friend or family, they're your world.
They mean more to you than life itself.
You knew that one day they would leave just as you know one day you will too but it doesn't stop your soul from shattering. It doesn't stop your world from falling apart.
You have plenty of people who will console you. Your friends, your family, the love of your life and you know that one day you'll be fine. You know that one day you'll move on but right now it burns.
You think about them. You think about if they were happy. If they lived their best life. If you made a difference in theirs.
You think about if you spent enough time with them.
You think about all their best qualities. You think about those silly stories they told so many times that it got sillier each time you heard them. You relive every memory you possibly can because you don't want to forget.
You cry. Harder than you thought you could.
Your body feels weak. Time has no meaning. Life has no purpose.
You don't understand.
You sit there, as all those thoughts run through your head.
Time flies by.
You panic. Suddenly you can't remember their face. You can't remember their voice. You've forgotten their smile but not the ugly laugh.
You remember the laugh.
How could you forget?
The laugh is forever ingrained in your memory and you feel something.
You feel a warmth inside.
It spreads through your chest and you suddenly smile.
You didn't think you could smile.
You cry some more but you move on.
You make choices to live your life.
It's not easy, not without them but you try because you know they would want you too.
You tell yourself; they're gone. They're really gone and they're never coming back.
It hurts but not like before.
You realise you can live without them.
You don't want to but you have too.
There are others who depend on you.
You know they'll always look out for you.
They'll always have a place in your heart.
Even if you forget their face, you'll never forget their soul.
You'll never forget how they made you smile. How they made you feel. How they loved you.
You smile.
You'll miss them. You'll mourn them but most importantly you'll live for them until your time comes to an end.
"That's it. That's the poem. Sorry I didn't say your name. I wanted too but when I wrote it, it was kind of like an out of body experience, I guess. I don't even remember writing it. I don't remember a lot back then. It was Luna's idea though, I remember that. At first, I didn't want to do it because it was just too hard but everyone else did and so I did too. I wanted it to be better than this but Beggers can't be choosers, can they? Hermione's was beautiful. I just know you got teary listening to it. Then there was Ginny's. Her one kind of crushed my soul. It was beyond breath taking. She was in so much pain when she heard about you and still, she held back her tears for me. The funeral was when she truly broke down. We were both a sobbing mess back then. Even Ron and Neville were. That's how much you meant to us. You were amazing... Professor!
In my mind you were beyond invincible. I know... naive! Still, you were the friendly neighbourhood giant who came and whisked me away to a place beyond my dreams. You did the impossible. You gave me hope. You were my first friend. You told me what I was. You got me my first present. Gave me my first cake. That made you pretty powerful to me, not even counting the fact that stunners bounced right off you.
It still hurts, knowing I'll never see you again, but I am trying to keep my promise. I'll keep on living for you. I know you'd want that.
You'd probably curse the hell out of me if I didn't, or maybe your spirit would send Fluffy after me.
I miss you so much Hagrid.
I hope you know that.
You always knew how to make me feel better. You always treated me like family. I hope you know I loved you like family too.
I still do. I always will Hagrid. I promise.
I wish I knew you could hear me. Technically I do but that route's not option anymore, is it?
Still, I know you can hear me. I know you're getting the message. Say hello to Dumbeldore for me will ya? Oh, and my parents of course. Oh, wait and Sirius, Remus and Tonks. If you see Fred up there, tell him a joke for me and make sure it's a good one that gets him laughing from beyond the grave. I don't know if the afterlife works the same for house elves and animals but if Dobby's up there tell him, he gets a new pair of socks every year and if Hedwigs up there, tell her I still miss her like hell. Oh, and I suppose if you see Snape in the afterlife, tell him your death made me very miserable. That will probably cheer him up.
Anyway. I just wanted to read the poem for you. Apparently, everyone else read theirs for you. I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you. I know they were all grieving too but selfishly I can say that it hurt me the most. Don't tell the others I said that though. They'd probably try to hex me to smithereens.
Especially Ginny. Ugh!
It's why I haven't been to see you since the funeral. It was just too much until I wrote the poem. I'm going to personally buy Luna the weirdest dress I can find. You see things got a bit dark for a while, I won't explain how. You probably already know, anyway I honestly wasn't sure if things were going to get better.
Ron and Hermione were seriously worried for a while and Ginny was downright frightened. It takes a lot to frighten Ginny. Luckily it was seeing Ginny like that, that snapped me out of the state I was in.
I hope you weren't mad at me. I don't remember any of it much.
I was a little depressed for a while and that's when Luna suggested the poems.
It's was honestly quite therapeutic.
It made me realise that I could move on but I'll always hold you close to my heart Hagrid.
"Any who I've been yapping to you for long enough and you're probably just trying to have a pint in the afterlife so I'll let you get on with it. It was good to see you Hagrid. I'll visit again soon and I hope you liked the poem." Said Harry with a mixture of emotions within his voice.
He stood from the conjured stool, he was sitting on and pushed it to the side. What used to be the pumpkin patch next to Hagrid's hut was now a black marble grave that read
In Loving Memory of
Rubeus Hagrid
December 6th 1928 ~ October 14th 2022
Son
Brother
Friend
Professor
The Greatest Gameskeeper
Hogwarts ever had.
With a shrine of pictures and trinkets that surrounded it.
He was buried next to Fang who had died some years ago and Hagrid had said that the day he died, he wished to be buried next Fang.
Professor McGonagall had transfigured the pumpkin patch into a small cemetery and when Hagrid's funeral had taken place just on the edge of the forbidden forest, that was where he was officially laid to rest.
His hut was sealed and immortalised by the students and teachers of Hogwarts with beautiful messages of parchment plastered all over the hut with sticking charms.
The messages were beautiful.
Harry gave a sad smile at the sight. It warmed him to know that Hagrid was greatly loved and appreciated.
There had been a time where he didn't know it and Harry was overjoyed to know that he would in death.
It had been a year to the day since Hagrid had died.
Harry was now facing his fear of coming to see Hagrid for the first time since the funeral. Ginny had offered to come with him but he'd told her no. This was something he had to do himself and considering he was guest lecturing Dada for the next two weeks, now was as good a time as any.
It had been extremely hard for him to come to terms with Hagrid's death but after a year he was finally getting back to normal.
Not even Sirius's death had hit him this hard and that had been a painful experience as it was. Harry never realised just how much Hagrid had meant to him. He just hoped that the thirty-two years he had, had with him was more than enough for Hagrid to know that Harry loved him practically like a father figure.
Life would never be the same without Hagrid but Harry was willing to try and make the best of it for him and his own family of course.
Although his family didn't blame him for his dark period, he still wanted to make it up to them. It was Saturday and with McGonagall's permission he was taking Al and Lily out to Hogsmeade and meeting up with Ginny, James and Teddy for a few hours.
With one last smile at Hagrid, Harry turned to head back up to the castle but stopped in his tracks and turned back to face Hagrid.
"Almost forgot to say, there's no Hogwarts without you Hagrid." Said Harry in a small whisper and then turned back around, heading in the direction of the castle satisfied with his visit to Hagrid's grave.
The End.
/
In Loving Memory of
Anthony Robert McMillan
(Robbie Coltrane)
March 30th 1950 ~ October 14th 2022
Gone But Never Forgotten.
