BtVS || Spuffy || BtVS || Spuffy || Keeping Up With the Scoobies || Spuffy || BtVS || Spuffy || BtVS

Title: Keeping Up With the Scoobies – The Long Way Home

Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Joss Whedon. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Tags: m/f, f/f, hurt/comfort, survivor's guilt, fluff, found family

Main Pairing: Spike/Buffy

Side Pairings: Tara/Willow, Xander/Renee, Robin/Faith, Connor/Dawn, Dowling/Dylan, Angel/Cordelia, Oz/Bay, Buffy/Satsu (briefly), Willow/Kennedy (briefly)

Buffy Characters: William 'Spike' Pratt, Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Rupert Giles, Willow Rosenberg, Alexander 'Xander' Harris, Andrew Wells, Tara Maclay, Renee, Faith Lehane, Robin Wood, Robert Dowling, Dylan Turner, Connor Angel, Angel, Cordelia Chase, Satsu, Kennedy, Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne, Bayarmaa 'Bay', Harmony Kendall, Clem

Summary: Buffy shared her powers with all potential Slayers. But that was only the beginning. Now, she has to deal with all the new Slayers, with the aftermath of LA going to hell – and coming back. The world knows about the supernatural, there's no going back. And then there are her own feelings, because Spike is back too. Buffy changed the world forever, what will she make of it?

Keeping Up With the Scoobies

The Long Way Home

1. Buffy: After the Fall

The thing about changing the world... Once you do it, the world's all different.

Buffy had been the sole Slayer, the Chosen One, for so many years now and then, one spell, and all potential Slayers were chosen. Were Slayers. The world as they knew it stopped. Their world even more so – for it ended with Sunnydale disappearing off the map. All there was left was a huge crate in the middle of nowhere. Not a single building was left standing. Everything was gone.

"Buffy, what are we gonna do now?" Dawn asked softly, looking at her big sister.

That was a question Buffy didn't know how to answer. All she knew was here, in Sunnydale. Now there was no Sunnydale anymore. Her first instinct was to turn to Spike, because that was where she had been turning when she felt lost and unsure of herself for years now. Though at first, it had been more a bad coping mechanism, angry sex to make her not think about the thing she couldn't solve. The last year had changed that. She had started to come to Spike because she felt understood by him in a way she didn't with anyone else. He'd been her pillar during the fight against the First.

And now he was gone. It took her a moment of looking around – looking at the faces of Willow, Xander, Dawn, Giles, Faith, Robin, Andrew, Kennedy, the few other new Slayers who had survived. Spike was not among them. Spike had... gone up in flames, right in front of Buffy. Sacrificing himself to save the world. It was strange. Buffy had done this before too, twice. But it was different when she was the one making the sacrifice than being the one... who survived. That's not how it was supposed to be. Buffy was the Chosen One. Chosen to die. Not chosen to survive. Not chosen to lead. She was supposed to be the only one, the one Slayer. Now, she was... the leader of a whole group of Slayers. Now she was the one who survived the apocalypse while her—her Spike didn't.

He wasn't her boyfriend. Wasn't her lover. They had fucked, once upon a time, a lot. Not since he had gotten back, with the soul. Yet somehow, the bond they shared now felt so much more intimate than any fucking they had done in the past. That night, when everyone had turned on her and she had slept in that stranger's house, that night he had just held her, it had been so intimate, so personal, so deep. It had been what she had needed. And that night, she realized that was just what he was.

Spike was whatever she needed. When she had needed to punish herself, he'd let her use him – he'd used her right back. They had sex. Angry, powerful, building destroying sex. When she needed to blow off steam, he was right there. When... When she had been dead and she needed someone to watch over her family, over Dawn, he had... been right there. Fighting alongside the Scoobies, even when she had been dead and gone for months. And that night, when all she needed was to feel like she wasn't alone, like there was someone who had her back, he had just held her.

He had saved the world. And no one would ever know. No one might ever believe it.

"If I might make a suggestion," Giles spoke up, uselessly polishing his broken glasses. "I do have an estate in England. It's better than sleeping in the bus, I'd say."

"England's not exactly around the corner, G," Faith noted with a groan.

"Beds. No payment. Showers," argued Willow. "It's actually quite pretty too."

"Sure. Sounds good to me. As long as we stay together," stated Buffy after a moment.

"You heard the lady. Everyone on the bus. We're headed to the nearest airport," called Xander out.

Xander, Buffy and Willow ended up sitting in the rear-end of the bus together, both Buffy and Willow leaning their heads against Xander's shoulders. Anya wasn't here. Anya was gone. Buffy knew that Xander and Anya had been in the middle of rekindling their relationship.

Buffy squeezed her eyes shut. They had survived. She had. She hadn't expected to survive this.

/break\

"Buffy? Buffy you're alive. Well, we're all alive, so I suppose you saved the world. Again. When Angel told me what was going on, I-"

"Cordelia," Buffy cut her off quickly, wrapping one arm around herself and shifting the phone a little. "We saved the world. Yeah. I'm not... I just wanted to..."

"I'll put Angel on the phone," Cordelia supplied and, after a moment. "I'm glad you're alive."

A faint smile found its way on Buffy's lips. The way her dynamic with Cordelia had changed over the years – the first potential friend she thought she made in Sunnydale, her fiercest rival, then a reluctant friend and ally, a Scooby even, when she was dating Xander.

And now, in a strange twist of fate, Angel's love. Which, in itself, had been strange for Buffy. She'd be lying if she said she hadn't been angry and jealous when she first learned about it, but then Angel had his whole own life now – his life in Los Angeles, his own version of the Scoobies, his own team and family. He deserved his own love too. The two of them, Buffy and Angel, had been starcrossed lovers. The thing about starcrossed lovers was, they didn't have happy endings. Buffy and Angel went their separate ways and deserved to find their own paths. Angel's had led him to Cordelia and... Buffy couldn't judge him for it. Her path had led her to Spike, which was about as unexpected, probably. And a lot of things had happened to Angel, in Los Angeles. Things that changed him, things that had changed Cordelia too – she got seer-powers along the way? They raised Angel's son together for a stretch, before the baby got stolen. Buffy had long since let go of her jealousy over this; Cordelia made Angel happy and that was the one thing Angel deserved.

"Buffy? Cordy said you—Is that you? Are you okay?"

The smile on Buffy's lips grew a little more. "I figured I'd call her, not you. You never pick up your phone and if there's one thing you can say about Cordelia Chase, she always has her phone within reach. I'm fine. We're... most of us are fine. Dawnie, Xander, Willow, Giles, Faith too."

There was a stretch of silence, in which Angel pieced together who was missing. "Spike..."

"Sacrificed himself to save the world," supplied Buffy, voice wavering. "Anyway. We're at the airport. Headed to England. If you're looking for us. I figured... I'd let you know. The world is saved. I'm alive. We're fine. Totally fine."

What a lie. The silence from Angel told her that he knew. He might not approve or understand, but he knew that Buffy and Spike, that there had been something.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," offered Angel softly. "He was a bastard and I hated his guts on the best of days, but I didn't... wish him this. I know he's changed. I know..."

He did know. Better than anyone. What it was like to be violently ripped away from life, to be turned into a vampire. The two had spent nearly a century side by side, after all. They were the only two vampires in the world – in history – with a soul. And a savior complex. Regardless of all their bickering and bitching, there was a very deep bond between Angel and Spike, a connection unlike anything else, and it would always be there. Buffy knew that.

"I... I have to go. Check in. You know what a hassle it is. Just... wanted to let you know. Give my best to your guys. I'll hear from you... when the next apocalypse happens, probably. Bye, Angel."

She hung up before he could get another word in. For a moment, she closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath. Deep, slow. No thinking. Not now. For now, she still had a mission. Get her people to a safe place to rest. Get to England. She could break down when she was alone.

"Buffy? The others are waiting?" Dawn called out, looking worried.

Buffy put on a smile for her sister and grabbed the bag at her feet – before getting to the airport, they had made a pit-stop at a mall. Get washed up, get changes of clothes. They were all ruffled, bleeding, clothes torn and burned. Not the kind of people airlines let on their planes.

"I'm coming, Dawnie," Buffy called back, making haste in following her.

/break\

"Welcome to the Giles Estate," Giles offered as he opened the doors. "Let's see about finding a room for everyone. We might need to pair you lot up, or more."

"Can't be more crowded than at the Summers house," Kennedy grunted. "Dibs on Will's room."

She grinned slyly, wrapping an arm around Willow's waist and leaning in to kiss her cheek. Buffy was glad that at least Willow didn't lose her partner. At least one of them. (She also tried not to think of how she had just considered Spike her 'partner', in the same sense as Willow and Kennedy, or Xander and Anya. She was still not ready to face that. Not with everyone present.)

"Giles, lead the way to the bedrooms. Everybody, pick a partner. No infighting," ordered Buffy.

Her eyes trailed over to watch Robin and Faith and the way he was leaning on Faith. The way Faith let him lean on her. She'd seen them on the bus too, leaning on each other. She'd heard they had hooked up. Gossip traveled fast, especially when one was living with Andrew Wells.

Andrew had been particularly awkward at the airport. Unsure if he belonged. Well, he had been their 'captive'. But... not for weeks, months, now. He'd somehow become a part of the team. Maybe not a Scooby. Maybe not yet. But this wasn't the first time a reformed villain joined them. And this one, this one was entirely up to Willow. He'd played a part in Tara's death, Buffy was not going to make any definite decisions here. So she had searched Willow's eyes and let her make the call. In the end, Andrew got on the plane with them, after a nudge from Willow.

Buffy watched Rona and Violet claim a room, Faith with Robin, Kennedy trailing Willow, Xander complaining very vocally about rooming with Andrew. In the end, Buffy was the only one left.

"I thought you might... want some privacy," concluded Giles gently. "Your room."

She stayed in the doorway for a moment, looking down at his shoes, not being able to look at his face. "Thank you, Giles. For... everything. For coming back when I needed you."

He opened his mouth, she could feel the apology coming. She knew he felt guilty for leaving in the first place. She couldn't deal with his apology now, so she entered the room and closed the door. And closed her eyes, leaning back against the door. Slowly, she slid down against it. Her eyes welled with tears as the only image she saw behind closed eyelids was that of Spike, going up in flames. He was gone. For good. He'd left before, had returned with a soul. Now that blasted soul had led him to be selfishly selfless and sacrifice himself like that.

Be a hero en par with Angel. It was always about Angel. Competing. Being the champion.

Well, no. No, it was about more than that. That wasn't fair. He'd done it because... because that was who he was. She'd known it for a while. Even if she hadn't wanted to see it. It was easier to see him as some soulless vamp, some monster she was fucking to make herself feel better.

But she knew. When he had let Glory beat him up, not giving away that Dawn was the key. When he had fought at their side and risked his life too to save Dawnie. When he had stayed, after she had died – everyone kept accusing him of doing what good he did solely to impress Buffy, but there had been no Buffy to impress. She had been dead. And he had stayed. He had protected Sunnydale in her stead, had protected her friends, had protected Dawn. Even before he got his soul. Way before he got his soul back. He'd been a good man, deep down. She just... didn't want to see it.

That wasn't to fully excuse him. Deep down still meant that there was part of a demon living inside of him and he still didn't have a soul. He did awful things. To Buffy too. But he hadn't been the kind of monster she had liked to think of him as, back then.

Her body was shaking, but not a sound was leaving her mouth. The past months of living with a dozen wanna-be Slayers and all of her friends had taught her to be quiet. She covered her mouth with one hand, sobbing soundlessly as all the loss came fully crashing in.

Spike. Not just Spike. Anya. Her home. All of her memories of her mother. Her mother. Tara. Their bodies—Their graves. It was now all gone. Gone forever. All the Slayers who had died during the fight. All the casualties. There was no way the entire town had been evacuated.

The world was saved. For now. And now came the hardest part. Living in it...

/break\

There was so much to do. So much to organize and take care of. So many new Slayers called forth all over the world that were without orientation or guidance right now. But they earned a break. Even just for a bit. To mourn, to regroup, to settle in. Buffy walked out of the mansion with two cups of coffee, into the backyard and toward the ceremonial graveyard they had made. They had no bodies to bury, but they needed the routine of a funeral, the finality of graves. For each Slayer who had died during the fight. For Spike. For Anya. Like clockwork, every morning, she would find Xander sitting in front of Anya's grave, legs drawn up, talking to her.

"Hey, Xan. I bring coffee," offered Buffy loudly as she approached him, not to startle him.

For a moment, she stayed standing in front of him, holding out one of the cups. Her eyes wandered next to Xander, to the headstone beside Anya's. Keeping the Scoobies together. William Pratt. He saved the world. After Xander took the cup from her, Buffy sat down with her back leaning against Spike's headstone, tilting her head back. The two of them spent a lot of time here, together. Usually in silence. Sometimes, they talked. While Spike had been alive, Xander had been very vocal about not liking Buffy with him. Now that he had died for them, well, Xander was still not Spike's biggest cheerleader, but he had lost Anya, he understood that this hurt Buffy, his own feelings on the matter put aside there, because he understood her suffering. And she understood his. More or less.

"I should have married her," stated Xander, staring blankly ahead, holding the coffee.

Buffy remained silent, waiting, knowing he'd say more. "We could have had more time. I wasn't... ready. For forever. But it wouldn't have been forever. We could have had more time, instead of all the discord. Instead of the fighting, the setback. We barely just got in touch again."

"Maybe," conceded Buffy. "And if you had never gotten together in the first place, she'd be alive. She'd be a mean vengeance demon cursing people in some non-Sunnydale town. You can't change the past. Both of you played your parts in how your relationship went. Anya was her own person, who made her own decisions. She chose to fight at our side. She chose to rekindle things with you again. That's how things went down. And you can't change them."

It might be harsh, but it was the truth. Xander hated to hear it and he also appreciated to hear it. He knew that Buffy wouldn't sogar-coat it. Both of them looked up when Willow approached them with a plate of sandwiches. She held it down demandingly, glaring at them to take one. And then she took her own seat, leaning against Tara's headstone. She might not have died during this battle, but her grave – and Joyce's grave – were gone forever. So when they did this little memorial side, they put up headstones for Tara and Joyce too. There was sadness in Willow's eyes as she reached out to caress Tara's name, turning to her side to face the other two.

"We're cursed, aren't we?" asked Buffy after a moment.

"Most definitely," agreed Willow. "What about?"

"Look at us. It's the crack of dawn in England, not even our country, and we're sitting at symbolic graves of our dead lovers," observed Buffy and tilted her head. "Will, tell me straight, can we be happy? Is that possible? You and Kennedy seem... friendly."

Willow remained quiet for a long moment, balling a fist against the 'T', like she was trying to hold onto it, onto her. "Jury's still out on that. Kennedy is... great. She's fun. Hot. She makes me happy in the moment. But it's not like... with Tara. I'm not in love. Not yet, maybe. I've only known her for a few months. I don't know, maybe, with time... I'd like to think that we can be happy."

"Sounds hard to believe," Xander muttered around a mouth full of sandwich. "Look at me. Pretty sure I am cursed. Praying mantis. Mummy girl. Love-spell backfiring. Cordelia and how I fucked that up. Anya. And my latest hook-up, who tried to sacrifice me to the First."

"Yeah, you are definitely cursed and abandoned by the love gods," agreed Buffy dryly.

"Buff! Not helping!" Willow exclaimed high-pitched.

"What? Me too. Look at me! Angel, who lost his soul when we first had sex. Parker, that... urgh. And Riley, who literally rather had vampires snack on him than get over his stupid manly insecurities and talk to me. Spike and the whole dysfunctional mess we had going on. Robin, for one date – and now he's hooking up with Faith, I think. Which. I try not to think about. But the walls are thin. Too thin. And Spike... with his soul... and our... and we... and now he's dead."

"Okay. Sure. I'm game," declared Willow seriously. "I... dated a digital demon on the internet, which I really can't believe I did. I was such an irresponsible child! Oz. Oz, who deserved better than be my beard while I didn't know what I was feeling, but oh he was so kind and sweet and safe and I thought maybe that this was what love meant, I thought I was straight, like everyone else. And then I broke his heart by realizing I'm a lesbian. Well, and you, Xander. Breaking Cordelia and Oz's hearts, because I knew something was off, I knew I wasn't feeling enough for Oz, not what I should, I thought, maybe with you I could, but I couldn't. I mean, otherwise the two of us would have actually gotten together as a real couple, wouldn't we have? And then Tara. Tara, with whom I first realized what love was, what that really meant. I never had anything to compare it to. I didn't understand, I didn't know. I didn't... and then I had it and I ruined it. I abused my magic and I lost her and I had barely gotten her back when she died. And I actually completely lost myself! I nearly destroyed the world! Hello? If anyone is love-cursed, it's the girl who nearly brought on the apocalypse when her love died! You two are at least just... mourning and moping."

"As I said," stated Buffy. "We're cursed."

"We are," agreed both Willow and Xander with deep sighs at that.

Buffy reached out to each side, grabbing Willow's hand with one and resting the other against Xander's arm. "But at least we got each other, right? Who needs romantic love if they got us."

"Beautiful sentiment, Buff. But unless you are proposing the threesome I have fantasized about since high school, I will be requiring something outside this friendship," declared Xander.

Both Willow and Buffy made 'ew' sounds and started giggling, until all three were laughing.


Author's note: This fic means a LOT to me personally. In a sense, it's been brewing for many years now. I wanted to continue BtVS ever since Spike survived on AtS. But then there were the comics. And season 8 was just so bad I dropped them, but I didn't want to write a continuation without knowing how canon unfolded - sometimes, there are pearls in that that you would have liked to keep. Now that I finished the comics, I did my cherry-picking and know what elements to keep and which ones to kick.

Also! Screw that whole "Cordy becomes a Higher Being". It's hard to include something not happening in a story, so: That didn't happen. Her reward was no more pain during visions. She is alive and happy in Los Angeles.

This is going to be a slow-burn Spuffy fic, but it's going to focus on the other Scoobies too. Next chapter, the Scoobies have to make some decisions on how to handle the incoming new Slayers.