"It won't bite you, Kiba."
"I know that, Shino!" Fucking appetite. "Never thought that of all people, I would be the one to have a problem with something like that."
"Don't blame yourself for what happened, Kiba."
"I do not blame myself for what happened, just that I cannot get over it faster."
"K- Kiba-kun, healing takes time!" and hasn't he fucking heard that enough times already.
Breathe in, breathe out. It's Hinata and Shino. They care about you.
"Perhaps, Kiba-kun, we could instead- " *knock knock knock*
Fucking fantastic. Just when he thought he got his nerves under control, another fucking inconvenience must show up. Isn't he a lucky flower today.
"Come in!" The hospital doors open and with his nose, he does not need to wait to see the person coming in. With his luck, it will-
No, no fucking way. Kiba just wants to disappear, fucking die like he was supposed to in the first place anyway. He *so* does not have the energy for this right now.
"Good evening, Kiba-kun! I thought perhaps- I- I should talk to you about… what has happened." You thought wrong, Sakura. Wouldn't be the first time, now, would it.
Apparently, his teammates can read his state of mind, because Shino is already standing up.
"Perhaps we should leave you some privacy, Kiba, Sakura."
"No!" And yes, that sounded way more desperate than he intended for it to. But at this point, he can still barely walk to the toilet by himself. Whatever dignity he has left, he wants to keep it, and it will be easier for him to control himself if his teammates stay with him here right now.
To his credit, Hinata and Shino seem to understand and sit back down. He must thank them properly later, because he knows that this must be very uncomfortable.
Eyes close. Eyes open. Breathe in, breathe out.
"So, Sakura, what did you want to ... talk about?"
Uncomfortable silence. Good. At least maybe she feels as shit as I do.
"I- I wanted to apologize." Oh really. Wow.
"Good! All forgiven. See, you are free to leave."
Is he being a dick? Probably. He cannot tell anymore. Or he cannot care. Or both.
"Kiba! Please, please don't shut me down like that!" *I* shut you down like what-?!
…
breathe in, breathe out. Count to 5. Or 5000 if needed.
"Look, Sakura, I don't know what you want to hear. You knocked me out, as a result, I was taken prisoner- ", tortured through some of the cruelest genjutsu I have ever faced for two months straight, interrogated, sexually assaulted and nearly died. I *wished* I would die- ... breathe in, breathe out.
"- we are shinobi, we signed up for this."
More uncomfortable silence. Sigh.
He is not getting rid of her anytime soon, is he?
"I know you meant well. It is not the first time I have seen people do dumb shit for people they are in love with- " and ok, he probably shouldn't bring Hinata into this, he is too tired to not say something that could hurt her, so this stops right here- " and so I am not mad anymore."
Sakura's eyebrows rise. Apparently, this surprised her.
"What, do you think I have nothing better to do? Do I think what you did was dumb? Absolutely. Will I be far more suspicious around you the next time we are sent on a mission together? Hell yes. But do I hold a grudge against you for it? No, not really."
Sakura stayed quiet. He guessed he should continue.
"We make mistakes, I make many of them myself on each of our missions. If Hinata or Shino mess up during our next mission and I die as a result, I will not be dying feeling angry at them. This is what we do."
Aaand, more uncomfortable silence. But he said what he thought needed to be said, so why the hell is she still not satisfied?
Oh.
Of course.
It clicks.
"What, you came here expecting I will just yell at you and call you names? You want someone to make you feel miserable because you feel guilty and cannot channel it internally? You want someone to scream at you and hate you for what you did so that you can feel relieved?"
Her eyes light up. Bingo. Yes, he is definitely harsher and sharper than he would normally be. Even Shino and Hinata are now just staring, mouths wide open and normally that would make him laugh because it's kinda cute - but not today.
"If yes, then go somewhere else for that. Try Tsunade, she was in a pretty miserable mood this morning. I am trying to move forward from what happened and I am not going to keep looking back just to shove it in your face when you find it convenient."
Sakura bows her head and looks like she is going to cry. And he would normally feel bad for that, but he is not going to, not this evening. He is out of anger, out of sadness, out of guilt; he just wants normalcy in his life again.
