Mission: Chalant (Spy/Assassin AU)

"Checking in. Subject has his entire entourage with him. I count six personal guards, and additional five scattered throughout the party. His wife by his side. Somehow, I get the feeling, he doesn't have enough protection."

"Hence your presence, Agent 37," a voice in his ear answered him.

"C'mon now, Babs. We've been working together for like five years now. Thought we'd be on a friendly first-name basis by now," 37 replied.

"Ah yes, let's just yell our names willy-nilly out into the field, you dick," she replied sarcastically.

"Ay there it is! Nice jab there, Babs."

"It's Oracle! Gah would you focus, please?"

Dick Grayson, aka Agent 37, had been tailing the sovereign leader of Markovia, King Viktor Markov, for nearly two weeks now. Bialya's war on neighboring Qurac forced many refugees to flee to Markovia. Being a rather kind-hearted King, his majesty allowed the borders to be open to the suffering people of Qurac. However, many Markovians did not share the same sentiment, namely his brother-in-law Baron DeLamb. Rumors about an assassination attempt swirled around the dark web. Queen Illona DeLamb-Markov herself pleaded with American-based Spyral to provide protection to the royal family until the threat had passed. Thus, Agent 37, the ace of Spyral, leaned against the bar at the Vienna Imperial Hotel sipping on ginger ale and keeping an eye on the Markovian monarchs.

"Connection achieved, activating facial recognition software," Oracle announced.

"Contacts activated, let's take a peek at the crowd," 37 answered.

Quickly, 37 scanned the entire room marking every face as the database began matching profiles.

"Looks like everyone here is clean so far," 37 said, "Buncha politicians, rich folks….richie rich folks."

"Yea nothing's coming up on the database. Though admittedly there are no records of Z on file. We wouldn't recognize him even if he stood next to you."

"Are we sure they're sending Z? Could be someone else. Like Slade Wilson or even Floyd Lawson," 37 queried.

"Records show Slade is still in solitary confinement at Belle Reeve and security cameras caught Floyd yesterday with his daughter at a mall in Boston. Besides, Z has no nationality. No identity. Perfect for an international incident."

"You're the boss, Oracle,"

37 finished his ginger ale and set it down. Immediately, the bar tender set down a glass of whiskey in front of him. Confused, 37 looked up raising his eyebrow.

"Uhh, I didn't order this."

"Compliments of the lady over in the corner," the bartender said gesturing towards the woman to the side.

He looked over to catch raven-hair, stunning blue eyes, and a mischievous smile approaching him. She was quite the beauty indeed with her sparkling black dress. It was thin and tight as it hugged her curves. The slight slit on the side showed a little leg as she swayed with clear intentions towards the Agent.

"I see you wanted my attention," 37 smiled.

"Did I get it?" she purred.

"Maybe. Depends on if it's the only thing you want."

"I want a lot of things. The list changes depending on the time."

"Oh? And pray tell, what does the list include at the moment?"

"Hmm just some company. These galas are always such a drag. You and I are probably the youngest ones here," she chuckled settling beside 37.

"Hehe we probably are," 37 smiled back.

"OY! 37! Quit looking at her tits and give the system a chance to scan her face for recognition!" Oracle all but shouted in his ear.

At the yelling, 37 flinched a little and twisted his head. Quickly he slapped his neck.

"Sorry," he replied, "I think a mosquito almost got me."

"Ah no worries. You look fine," she answered, "Scratch that. You look more than fine."

The woman leaned a little closer brushing off the dust from 37's collar. Afterwards, her hand slowly traced his shoulder and lingered on his arm. 37 finally decided to look up and let the contacts scan her face.

"So, what's a young fellow like yourself doing here?" she asked.

"Eh, I'm just passing through. I'm a photographer. I like taking pictures of pretty things."

"Hmm sounds like fun. What kinds of pretty things do you snap?"

"Oh y'know, nature, animals, flowers. That sorta thing."

"Well, do you also take pictures of people?"

"Maybe. If they're pretty."

"Am I pretty?"

"Maybe," he whispered leaning closer to her.

"Got a match!" Oracle announced, "Zatanna Zatara, daughter of Giovanni Zatara. He's the Italian acting consul in the US. Says here that he went missing over a month ago. Supposedly Agent 8 is looking into it. Tabloids say she's kinda a party girl. Lotta pics of her in clubs and whatnot."

Zatanna looked over to the bar and picked up the whiskey intended for 37. Teasingly, she held it between the two and swirled the drink a little bit.

"You haven't touched the drink I sent you. Not a fan?"

"I'm more of a soda kind of guy."

"Well, more for me then," she replied sipping the glass and leaving some lipstick on the rim, "Unless you'd like to share."

She offered him back the glass and he took it. Swirling the liquid around, he took a sniff before sipping it right where her lipstick mark was.

"So," he began, "What's a pretty girl like you doing here?"

"Oh, so now I am pretty?"

"Didn't say you weren't."

"And yet here you are contradicting yourself."

"Must be the alcohol talking."

"Hehe. If you must know, I'm in town to do a little shopping. Vienna is such a beautiful town. Might explore tomorrow. Care to join me Mister….?"

"Hunt. Ethan Hunt."

"Pleasure to meet you, Ethan. Zatanna Zatara," she smiled extending her hand.

"Charmed. Unfortunately, Miss Zatara, I have other plans tomorrow."

"I see," she looked away feigning slight disappointment.

Meanwhile, 37 could not take his eyes off her. He kept staring at how her long raven hair flowed back behind her. Her cheeks and jaw contoured in the most perfect manner. She felt his gaze upon her and blushed a little.

"Well, if you're busy tomorrow, what about tonight?" she asked.

"OH NO! No no no no no! 37 you cannot be dumb enough to fall for this!" Oracle screeched in the earpiece.

Trying to play it off, 37 turned and leaned back against the bar. He spotted the King and Queen leaving with their entourage, most likely to retire for the night.

"Actually," he smirked looking back at Zatanna, "my evening just freed up."

"Oh?" Zatanna bit her lip stepping closer to 37, "How intriguing."

Slyly, she placed a hand on his abdomen. Her fingertips began to slowly trace his figure. Back and forth and up and down her hands glided across the cotton dress shirt. Spurred on by her boldness, 37 brought his own hands up to hold her waist. The warm touch of skin revealed to him that she was wearing a backless dress.

"Dick! I swear to God if you don't-" he cut off the commlink with a button on his watch before Oracle could get another word out.

"You have such strong hands," Zatanna whispered as she cupped his cheek.

"Photography equipment can be tough to work with."

"Really now? Maybe you need a change of pace. Work with something….softer. Hmm?"

"I dunno. Did you have something in mind?"

With a twinkle in her eyes, she grabbed his hand and led him towards the elevator.

"Depends," she purred, "my room or yours?"


The next morning, Agent 37 groggily shifted in his bed. He rolled over to find only cool bedsheets next to him. Realizing his partner had woken up and left him, he sat up and stretched. On the end table was a note in cursive handwriting as well as a pair of lacy black panties.

"Something to remember me by. However, these are on loan. I want them back :p"

Chuckling, he put on a pair of boxers and checked his watch. 8 am. Still early as the two monarchs were probably about to head down for breakfast. 37 picked up his phone and reestablished the comms with Oracle.

"Mornin'!" he tried to nonchalantly greet his coordinator.

"Ugh. I cannot believe you actually slept with her!" Oracle groaned.

"Hey, she came onto me."

"Whatever. Anyway, lucky for you, the King's schedule today is simple. Breakfast, photo op with the Austrian President, playing polo at the royal pitch fields, and then night cap with a show at the opera house. His security will be doubled up while he's with the President for the most part, so really your main concern is his night at the opera."

"Copy…wait so you're saying?" he pondered.

"Absolutely not! You still need to keep an eye on his majesty! You'll just have to be more of a lurker throughout the day. Don't even think about going off to find her!"

"Oooo do I detect a hint of jealousy in the lady?"

"N-no! Just-Just do your job! Need I remind you the fate of a whole ass nation depends on this mission?!"

"Whatever you say, Babs."

"It's ORACLE!"


Paparazzi swarmed the entrance of the Vienna Opera House. A limo pulled up to the front as a valet opened the door for the King and Queen. They walked hand-in-hand down the red carpet as cameras flashed their photos relentlessly. Of course, all the commotion provided the perfect cover for Agent 37 to slip on by and enter the theater. Straightening out his tuxedo collar, he turned on his scanner contacts and looked around. Not paying attention, he bumped into one of the orchestra players as the ensemble was passing by.

"Excuse me," the older gentlemen grumbled with his British accent.

"My bad, I wasn't paying attention," 37 tried to apologize.

"Hmph."

With that last scoff, the musician continued down backstage. Agent 37 was about to walk up the stairs towards the mezzanine when he stopped in his tracks.

"Oracle, who's playing tonight?" he asked worriedly.

"The Austrian National Symphony. Why?"

"How many of them are black and speak the Queen's English?"

"…oh shit."

Quickly, Oracle rewound the recording in the contacts to get a good look at the aforementioned musician. With a full view of his face, the database pinged a match.

"Oh no. 37, that's no flautist. That is Robert DuBois aka Bloodsport. Sharpshooter assassin."

"All I need to know."

He was about to sprint after the assassin before two ushers in red vests stopped him. They pointed up to the sign that said in German "Authorized Personnel Only." Defeated, Dick backed away and headed into the main viewing area. In the corner of his eye, he spotted the two royals heading upstairs into their private box.

"Relay me the security personnel of the King again," 37 ordered.

"According to the briefing, he'll have four guards with him in the box. Two more will stand directly outside the box door and another pair will stand at the entrance to the corridor," Oracle relayed.

"Ok so no direct approach then. You said he's a sharpshooter?"

"Positive. He's basically Deadshot."

"Well, now that's just unoriginal. Anyway, that means he'll want a perch somewhere. I've got to get backstage."

37 took his seat as the theater darkened. The spotlights shined brightly onstage as the curtain opened revealing the first singer of the night. The conductor tapped his baton on the stand and raised his arms signaling the beginning of the first piece. In the shadow of darkness, 37 slipped out of his seat and out to the corridor. He spotted a lonesome usher just standing around.

"Heya! You there!" 37 called out.

"Yes sir? How may I help you?"

"Can you show me to the washroom?"

"Of course, sir. This way please."

Poor chap never knew what hit him as 37 chopped his neck rendering him completely unconscious. The agent dragged the sleeping body to the bathroom, switched clothes with him, and left him in the stall. With his new disguise as an usher, he quickly made his way down the stairs. With no one around, he sneakily entered the backstage door and scanned his surroundings. A few stagehands gave him weird looks, but they thought nothing of it. He walked by the corner where all the musicians had placed their instrument cases and spotted DuBois from afar. The assassin was presently climbing up the railing on the other side of the of the stage. Moving quickly, 37 climbed the scaffolding planning to meet DuBois in the middle. As the first piece ended, and the stagehands moved through the darkness to add trees and a fake tower to the set. DuBois opened his instrument case. Inside looked to be pieces of a standard flute, but with a few modifications and by putting certain pieces together, DuBois successfully put together a sniper rifle. He opened the music book and traced along the measures. From above, 37 waited for the perfect moment before the lights dimmed and a spotlight shined on the soloist. Immediately, he pounced on DuBois trying to wrestle the sniper out of his hands. Both men struggled to pull away the rifle as they stood face to face.

"You should pay more attention to where you're going, kid," DuBois warned.

"Look man, I get it. Losing first chair is a bummer, but that doesn't mean you should go on a killing spree."

37 turned the gun and smacked Dubois with the back of his hand. Both of them dropped the sniper as it fell onto another part of the scaffolding. Enraged, Dubois kicked 37 in the chest knocking him down. From his belt, Dubois unsheathed a dagger. Quickly, he lunged at 37 swinging the dagger wildly. With a bob and a weave, 37 dodged the slashes and grasped DuBois's wrist. Using Bloodsport's own momentum, the Agent was able to force the assassin to stab his own shoulder. DuBois bit his lip stifling the cry of pain before punching 37 in the face.

Meanwhile, Oracle got an alert on her computer. Switching screens, she noticed on the security camera a large burly man standing in the sound booth. He was also assembling a fancy sniper from parts of what looked like a police baton. Angling the camera a bit, Oracle got another match on the facial recognition system.

"Uhhh 37, whatever you're doing hurry it up! Anatoli Knyazev aka KGBeast is in the sound booth!"

Despite being in a headlock, 37 turned and spotted KGBeast in the sound booth opening a window. His eyes darted across the theater seeing that Anatoli had a clear shot at King Markov. Thinking on his feet, 37 elbowed DuBois hard in the stomach and flipped him over his shoulder and off the scaffolding. DuBois landed backstage with a thud, but with all the music, nobody heard a thing. 37 ran over to the open music book and noticed a big read circle on one of the long notes.

"Shit. Oracle, they're gonna fire on the whole note in the 145th measure. Based on what I'm hearing, I won't make it to the sound booth in time."

"I can activate the fire alarm. Force a quick evacuation."

"No, the chaos will just give them a better opportunity for a kill."

To his right, 37 noticed the sniper rifle still on the scaffolding. He immediately picked it up and pointed it at KGBeast.

"Oracle, can you confirm that KGBeast is the only other assassin here?"

"Negative. I still haven't found Z."

"Shit."

Unsure of what to do, 37 froze. He could fire on KGBeast, but that would leave Z with a clear opportunity to kill the King. He could cause a scene but then only he'd be arrested. A quick glance at the score showed that the assassination was only ten measures away. Finding his resolve, he picked up the sniper and aimed.

*BANG*

Right at the encircled note, 37 fired a shot. His aim was true as it hit the shoulder of the King causing him to fall backwards. Immediately, his guards swarmed him covering up any opportunity for another clean shot. The Queen knelt down to her husband's side relieved to see that it was only a flesh wound. The bullet had harmlessly grazed his shoulder. The question remained though, where had the shot come from?

Angered, Anatoli turned to the stage scaffolding and spotted Agent 37. He aimed his sniper at the Agent but felt the unpleasant sting of a bullet through his chest. He collapsed down in a puddle of blood. 37 saw this from the corner of his eye and tried to follow the path of the bullet. It was dark, but he distinctly saw another shadow escape from the faux tower set piece.

"Oracle, I think I've found Z. I'm in pursuit."

He jumped from the scaffolding onto the nearby balcony and chased after the shadow. His eyes spotted the door to the stairs slam shut, so he followed. Looking up, he locked eyes with a dark figure in a top hat and bandana who stared down at him. Quickly they both ran up the stairs. 37 finally reached the roof and saw the supposed Z jump across to the nearby building. With the sniper still in hand, he aimed and fired another shot. The bullet flew right past the figure's head causing the assassin to trip and tumble before quickly getting up and changing directions.

"Gotcha," smiled 37.

The assassin jumped again to another building. Tired from running, the figure bent over panting heavily. Z looked around and didn't see the agent-in-pursuit. Out of nowhere, 37 tackled Z causing them to tumble and roll across the rooftop. Z pushed him off and got up in a fighting stance. 37 followed suit and immediately threw haymakers. Left and right, up and down, Z tried to evade every attack. The assassin attempted to sweep his legs, but the agent was more skilled and jumped. Hurriedly, Z tried to punch but 37 was faster and grabbed the wrist. He twisted the arm behind Z's back and pushed the assassin against the wall.

"Got you now, Z. Can't run away forever!"

Annoyed, Z stepped on his foot and elbowed him in the stomach. Though knocked back, 37 was able to pull the bandana with him. Staggered, he immediately got back up only to freeze at the sight before him. He clutched the bandana in his hands tightly stunned to see that familiar raven hair. Blue eyes locked up with blue eyes as both parties stood unmoving.

"Za-Zatanna?!" he finally spoke finding his voice.

"Uhhhh hi. I don't suppose you're here to return my panties?"

AN: Hiya! Happy Chalant Week! We at the Chalant Discord want to celebrate the best Young Justice Couple, Dick and Zee! As such, we've set up a collection of one shots over at Archive of Our Own! We'll be posting one shots daily for the rest of the week! Come check out the works of A045, 4shur4, RomanticDreamer, and LethalParade!