Preliminary remarks:

This fan fiction is a stand-alone, but the description of its main character, Eeth Koth, is based on several years of writing in a Star Wars role-playing group that focussed on master-padawan relationships, including spanking and other forms of discipline. It loosely takes up themes from the Jedi Apprentice book series, for example the existence of a training bond between master and padawan, but also makes a lot of assumptions about the Star Wars universe that you're free to take or leave. Essentially, it places the character of Eeth Koth in an alternate universe (partly because the Clone Wars series wasn't out yet by a long shot when I started playing Eeth) where it is assumed that he had two padawans before this story starts: Lakhri Tumuel, who is human and growth-restricted (and just for the record, that was before Game of Thrones was out!), and Raven Trebeck, who is also human and has just been knighted. And that is about all you need to know in order to understand the story. If I left out important information, feel free to ask!

Chapter One: Eeth

Jedi Master Eeth Koth entered the empty common room, coming home from a strenuous workout in the weights room. He was not getting younger, and thus it was all the more important for him to stay in good shape. He took his training very seriously.

The door clicked shut behind him almost inaudibly as he put his gym bag down. He hung up his cloak, pulled off his boots, unpacked his gym bag and was truly and honestly left with nothing to do. He made himself some tea and switched on the holo news channel. The speaker went on and on about a vossball event. He switched it off again.

For the first time in his life, Eeth realised that he felt lonely; that he would have preferred the company of people to solitude. And that was a feeling he was rather unaccustomed to.

He had resigned his seat on the Council four years ago in order to be able to devote all his time and energy to preparing Raven for her knighting. This included the type of long-term missions that his position on the Council had never allowed for. Two years ago, Raven had passed her trials and had shortly afterwards been assigned her first mission. Currently, she was somewhere on the Outer Rim, hunting down a ring of slave traders. Flynt was approaching his own knighting; he and Lakhri were away on missions more often than not. Eeth himself had undertaken quite a few missions since Raven had moved out. Indeed, he now realised, he might have actively sought these missions because he might unconsciously have wanted to avoid the loneliness of his current Temple life. Now he was back from a rather taxing and lengthy undercover mission to Nal Hutta and the Council had decreed he needed a break. Presumably, he was going to be assigned a few classes in the upcoming cycle and he might also be put in charge of a Senate committee, but right now, he had no work to do and no one to meet. And he did not like that.

When Eeth had finished his tea while updating himself on the galactic news on the terminal, he went to the dining hall where he noticed at one of the tables Mal Shekkaf, a Jedi master he had worked with years ago on a previous mission. He liked Mal; the Iktotchi was one of the few people that he tended to stop and have some small talk with when they met.
"Eeth!" said Mal as Eeth came over to his table with his tray. "I haven't seen you in ages. Are you alright?"
Eeth pondered this question.
"Too idle for my liking," he finally answered. "How about you? And your padawan? She cannot have been knighted already."
Mal shook his head.
"Not yet," he said. "She's practicing like mad for the sparring competition. She just had a very quick dinner and then was off to the gym."
Eeth nodded.
He had just taken his first spoonful of soup when Mal, out of the blue, asked: "Have you heard about Jerad Delapar?"
Eeth was so surprised that he stared at Mal for a few long moments.
"Jerad Delapar?" he asked slowly.

********
He had been sixteen and Jerad nineteen. Jerad was a Twi'lek, ocean-green, tall, muscular and, in short, absolutely stunning-looking. He was also intelligent and mature, and he interacted with people with an ease that Eeth envied him for. At first, he admired the older padawan; then he caught himself fantasising about being engulfed by his strong arms, stroking his lekku, and doing things of a far more sexual nature.

One evening in the padawan lounge, they started talking and did not stop for hours, and that was highly unusual for Eeth. Then they met for a sparring session. And they met more and more often, until that fateful day in the mineral baths when Eeth would have forgotten all about his duties, his vows and resolutions if it had not been for Jerad's cool-headedness. Jerad had suggested they ask their masters for advice. Their masters had guided them through countless meditations; then Jerad had left on a mission, then Eeth; and in time Eeth had overcome his passion for the older padawan.

Now, as he heard Jerad's name, he realised that he had made quite an effort to avoid the man during the past decades - had it really been that long?

Forty years, an internal voice whispered. Exactly forty years.

"What about him?" he asked Mal, pulling himself out of his memories.
"He suddenly died of a freak virus he had caught at an entirely unspectacular conference," said Mal. "And he left a thirteen-year-old-padawan behind. I've taught Lok in one of my classes. Quite an… interesting kid. I feel sorry for him."
"May he become one with the Force," Eeth murmured automatically. His brain was still refusing to process the information he had just received. It was one thing to subconsciously or intentionally avoid Jerad for decades; but – Jerad, dead? The irony that Jerad had been struck by a fate that he himself had narrowly escaped some years ago did not escape Eeth.
Of course, such things happened to Jedi; Eeth himself had during his time on the Council repeatedly had to deal with deceased masters or padawans. But not Jerad! Jerad had been strong and wise; that he should die so suddenly, for no higher purpose, was a cruel twist of fate.

Eeth made his way home some time later, not quite remembering how he had finished his dinner and his talk with Mal. He had honestly had no idea that hearing of Jerad's death would elicit such strong emotions in him. And that made him feel rather disquiet. What else, he wondered, did he keep hidden inside himself?
That night, he sat on the balcony and meditated until the early hours of the morning.

Several days passed. As expected, and per his request, Eeth was put in charge of a Senate committee and spent a lot of time diligently studying reports and writing more reports. He was also informed what classes he would have to teach in the upcoming cycle and set to preparing them thoroughly. Besides, he drafted himself a schedule of workouts that would make sure he stayed in the best possible physical form, as well as of meditations that would make sure he did not lose his connection to the Force. In short, he was bent on keeping himself busy. And still, late at night his quarters felt lonely and Eeth felt his mind drawn to thoughts of what might have been…

He was just returning from a Senate session when his portable comm unit beeped. It was the frequency that signalled a call from the Council. He entered his quarters, let the door slide shut behind him and accepted the call.

"Eeth," said Mace Windu solemnly. "Do you have a moment?"
"Yes," said Eeth, crossing over to the table and sitting down on a chair. "What is it?"
"You've heard of Jerad Delapar's death?" asked Mace.
"Yes," replied Eeth, his voice impassive. Mace, of course, had no idea of the feelings he had once had for Jerad, nor did anybody else; the only ones who had known this were his and Jerad's masters, and they were both dead.
"Then you probably also know that he left a padawan, Lok Dar," said Mace.
"Yes," said Eeth again. Lok Dar - that sounded like a Zabrak name. For a brief moment, he was tempted to think that this had some meaning, some deeper reason speaking of Jerad's memories of Eeth, but he discarded the idea immediately. After all, Lok had been Jerad's third padawan, and the first two had not been Zabrak, as far as he knew.

"Lok needs someone to take charge of him," said Mace. "Eventually, he'll also need a new master, but we're willing to give him time for that. However, he can't stay on his own. His grandmaster is deceased and his padawan siblings are unavailable. His former creche master is currently staying with him, but she will not be able to stay for long, and she doesn't have the impression that her presence is doing much to help the boy deal with his grief. A few knights and masters who are currently free have looked in on Lok, but he has refused to talk to them. A soul healer saw him today, and she suggested we try someone more… determined. Forgive me if I thought of you immediately."
Eeth had to smile a little at that.
"Determined is probably a good description," he said, "but you know I'm not exactly your first choice at dealing with emotional issues."
"I think you underestimate yourself," said Mace. "Anyway, all I ask is that you give it a try. Visit the boy, try to get him to talk. He spends all the time in his bed in the quarters he shared with his former master. He needs to get out of there and find some way to get on with his life, at least just a little, step by step."
"Alright," said Eeth. "I will give it a try."
In his mind, he heard Yoda say: 'Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.'