It's a Friday evening near the middle of the semester at Georgia State, shortly after the leaves have dried and turned orange and red and yellow and fallen from the trees to the earth to become fertilizer for more plants to grow, death bringing new life. The air has grown colder, and cuffing season is just around the corner. But within the walls of the mostly-empty art building on campus, the cold cannot seep in.
Benji has just spent the last two hours staring at the canvas before him, watching as his pastoral scene, depicting the rolling green fields and rocky mountainous terrain, along with a lake reflecting the afternoon sun, gains its shades and colors. He layers on more of a dark, earthy brown at the base of one of the mountains to give it more depth, before pulling his brush away and examining it. There is something still not quite right about the way it looks, and if he has to put one more layer of paint on top of it, he knows he'll lose his fucking mind.
"Goddammit," Benji says loudly to no one in particular as he sets his brush aside for the moment.
A giggle floats to his ears from beside him, and he narrows his eyes before glancing around the room quickly to ensure they are truly alone; they are.
"It's that bad, huh?" says a short, brown-skinned, black-haired girl—his best friend, Mia—beside him as she pauses her work and lifts her goggles from her face.
"Not bad but more… Not good."
"So… bad."
"No. I just need to not look at this for a few minutes," Benji says, rising from his seat and rubbing his eyes with his knuckles, disregarding the scratchy sensation of dried paint scraping against the thin flesh of his eyelids. A few pieces peel off and fall to the floor. He takes his phone from the table beside him. "At least your… thing looks cool."
"This isn't a thing, it's an experience. Look," Mia says, stepping aside and presenting her sculpture—a tall tower of sorts that radiates points and curves like a star with blue, white, red, orange, and purple parts, that has just collapsed into itself, a metal supernova. "And you can even go inside it. I call it… 'Dying Star'."
"Huh… that's actually pretty cool," Benji says, admiring the massive construction. "Kinda makes my little landscape look like it was made by a toddler."
"Don't say that, it's nice! I mean, plus, you're pretty versatile. Metal sculpting is my specialty but you're good at everything."
"Sounds fake, but okay," Benji says with a grin as he unlocks his phone. "Anyway… I'm probably gonna be here all night like a fucking nerd. Not like I have anywhere else to be. What about you?"
"Same, though. I wanna finish this thing before the weekend because I still have more sculptures in this series I wanna get started on."
"Do you wanna get something to eat in like… a half hour or so?"
"Yeah, good idea. I got so into this that I forgot about like… eating."
Benji chuckles as he opens Grindr as he's wont to do when he has a moment of downtime. He'd had a few hookups in the past couple of weeks, but they'd all been mediocre, lackluster, and forgettable, cruel, or just plain clingy; he'd ended up blocking all of them afterward. Even though he doesn't have a whole lot of success, he still comes back; he has no idea why.
"Mia, as a fellow artist, I need your opinion on something," Benji says, sitting on his stool and biting his lip as he scrolls through his phone before holding it up in front of Mia's face. "What do you think of this guy?"
"I'm flattered that you respect my opinion enough to ask," Mia says, leaning over and examining it. "Eh, he's all right. You can do better."
"I mean… I'm not looking to marry him or bring him home to my parents, I just want him to fuck me."
"You can't tell me there aren't any cuter guys around. Like, I'm sure there are like a few hundred other gay guys at Georgia State you can hook up with. And most of them are way cuter than Derek."
Benji sighs loudly, biting back his blush, and sets his phone down on the table before burying his face in his hands and running his fingers through his hair. "I thought you liked Derek."
"No, I tolerated Derek. He wasn't that cute," Mia says, setting her soldering iron down before holding her open palm out. "Lemme look for you. Hand it over."
"Wish you'd have told me that before," Benji grumbles, doing as she asks, before returning to his half-finished acrylic painting.
"Well, I know you liked him so what was I gonna do, tell you I thought he was ugly and a douchebag?"
"Yeah? Of course I would want you to? Even though we're like… bandmates and whatnot now."
"Okay, well, he's ugly and a douchebag. Now you know."
"Lovely, thank you so much," Benji says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Any luck?"
"Don't interrupt me," Mia snaps. "Oh, wait. Here we go… What do you think of… this guy?" she asks, flipping the phone around and showing the screen to Benji. "He's like half a mile away, tall, fit, plays basketball and likes animals. A bit weird to put in a hookup app profile but fine... But if you don't hook up with him, I will."
"Oh, fuck he's hot. But there's no way he's a… oh, vers top, I guess that makes sense. I can work with that," Benji says, dropping his paintbrush on his apron-clad lap. Mia withdraws the phone and types something quickly. "Wait, what are you doing?" Benji asks, his voice rising a few octaves.
"He's exactly your type…" Mia says with a wicked grin. "But yeah, I just sent him a message."
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Give that back!" Benji says, rising from his seat to snatch his phone away from her. His phone clicks as he looks down at the screen. "Oh. He responded."
"Nice, what did he say?" Mia asks, pausing before putting her goggles back over her eyes.
"'Are you free at 9? ?¬タル. Aww, he's so nice," Benji says. He checks the clock on his phone; 6:50; still plenty of time. "I can't believe you wrote 'Please, sir, may I touch your dick? ?¬タル like I'm some sort of Victorian orphan."
"I think people appreciate a little bit of politeness," Mia reasons with a shrug.
"Well, I guess I can't complain because it worked, and he just sent me his location," Benji says, pocketing his phone.
"You should go get ready for your dick appointment," Mia urges, shooing him. "Get out of here!"
"All right, all right. Thank you for that," Benji says, kissing her cheek as he untied his apron and then jogged across the room to hang it on the wall. "I owe you one."
"Honestly, all I wanna know is that you're staying safe and not getting pregnant or impregnating someone else," Mia teases in response.
"Don't worry, mom, I have condoms. But sorry for bailing on our little date."
"It's okay, I'll get over it. But I'm proud of you, honey. Have fun!" Mia says with a short wave before she returns to her work.
"See ya!" Benji says, throwing his bag over his shoulder as he runs out of the room and down the corridor.
Benji stumbles into the dining hall and grabs whatever looks edible that day that also won't be too heavy because he still wants to look snatched later on. It's after 7:30 when he leaves, cursing to himself as he rushes into his room while praying that his roommate and Mia's childhood friend, Andrew, isn't there.
When he pops his head in, he sees that their double room is, in fact, empty, because Andrew was most likely out with the rest of the basketball team partying or doing some other stupid shit that Benji avoids going to because he hates being around alcohol and it's always too loud.
He showers and makes sure all his body hair is taken care of before he styles his hair, letting a little piece fall out of place and onto his forehead as he winks at himself in the mirror. Once he finishes that and brushes his teeth, he opens his closet to choose an outfit.
"Hmm… which of these says 'blow my back out'?" he mutters to himself, leafing through the shirts he has hanging in his closet.
After a few minutes' deliberation, he settles on a form-fitting black v-neck, dark skinny jeans, a black leather jacket and combat boots. He examines himself in the mirror for a moment before he grabs his phone and his keys and heads out the door. It's 8:45.
The campus is still alive with the sound of drunk sorority girls parading across the sidewalk and repetitive trap music blaring through speakers not far off in the distance. Benji shoves his hand in his pockets as he approaches the massive, white, U-shaped complex that houses the sophomore dorms.
Raising an eyebrow as he stares up at the gargantuan structure, he pulls out his phone and messages the guy—whose name turns out to be Victor—and tells him he's outside. He waits a moment before he sees him—tall, with brown skin and kind eyes, wearing skinny jeans and a green plaid button-up. Benji can't help but smile—he isn't sure if it's because of Victor's basic fashion sense or simply because the guy is so cute or maybe it's just his brain anticipating him getting fucked. Or maybe all three.
"Hey! Benji, right?" Victor says, extending a hand with a smile. "How are you?"
"Yeah… hi. Nice to meet you," Benji says, feeling a bit awkward as he shakes Victor's hand. "I'm… all right." You don't really care about how I am. "Um… You look hotter in person than I was expecting you to."
Victor opens the door and motions for Benji to go ahead of him. "Oh, uh. Thank you. You, too, actually. Like… wow. You look so badass."
Benji chuckles, blushing a bit. "Thanks."
They enter Victor's dorm, which is an apartment he shares with a few other students. Victor takes off his shoes before he leads them down the carpeted corridor, and Benji does the same after Victor takes his jacket and hangs it in the closet. Benji is surprised to hear that it's… quiet; he can barely hear the noise of cars driving over the nearby highway, and there doesn't seem to be any other sign of life around.
"Can I get you anything to eat or maybe a drink?" Victor asks him gently as he opens the door to what Benji can only assume is his room. "Make yourself comfortable. And just let me know if you need anything."
"Just water is fine, thanks," Benji says, glancing around for a moment before sitting down at the edge of the bed on the soft sheets that make him feel as if he's sitting in a nest.
He could be a serial killer… it's always the nice ones… Benji thinks, as he plays with his fingers. He isn't used to guys being so… nice.
A moment, later, Victor returns holding a glass of water and iced tea, shutting the door behind him.
"So, uh… what are you studying?" Victor asks, offering the glass of water to Benji, who takes it gratefully. "I'm a bio major 'cause I wanna go to vet school later on."
"Fine art," Benji says, taking a sip before putting his glass down. He strips his shirt off and tosses it aside before doing the same with his pants so that he sits there on the bed in only his black boxer briefs.
"That's cool. I was never any good at art but I respect the craft," Victor says and Benji sighs.
"Okay, look. It's really sweet that you're trying to like, get to know me and I appreciate your hospitality and all that, but I have a twenty page paper I have to work on for art history and I want you to fuck me so I don't have to think about it for a little bit," Benji says, playing with the waistband of his underwear.
"What's it on?"
"What's what on?"
"Your paper. What's the subject matter?"
"I— well. Nothing too fancy, just on the evolution of popular artistic styles in the Interwar period," Benji says with a shrug.
"Oh, so like, Dadaism and shit," Victor says, before taking a sip of his tea again.
"Uh, right… You're actually exactly right," Benji says, raising an eyebrow. "Anyway… are we doing this or what?"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course. I just feel weird just inviting people over and being like 'show hole' right away, ya know? It's kinda rude," Victor says, setting his drink down on the nightstand beside his bed before shedding his t-shirt.
"That's fair," Benji says with a shrug as he sidles beside Victor. "First, we should set some ground rules, though, okay? You can kiss me anywhere you want except on the mouth, don't like… stare at me while we're fucking because it's weird, wear a condom," Benji pauses and smacks a wrapped condom against Victor's chest as he says this, before he continues: "and if you want to do any freaky shit just ask me before you do it. I also don't have any diseases, fyi."
"Cool. I guess… same."
"Okay, uh… Then, can I take my underwear off?" Benji asks, glancing up at Victor through his eyelashes.
"Of course, go ahead," Victor says softly, his eyes betraying his eagerness.
Humming, Benji slides his boxer briefs off him and drops them on the floor, and Victor watches him with rapt attention. He presses his mouth against Victor's beautiful brown skin, peppering it with kisses and sucking on it, knowing it would leave marks behind. There's something intoxicating about the way Victor smells, musk and sandalwood looming over him and making him want more. He pulls away after a moment.
"Your turn," Benji says with a smirk, running his hand through his still damp hair. He can feel himself getting hard just from knowing Victor's eyes are all but glued to his lap.
"It's only fair," Victor mumbles.
Swallowing, Victor slides his pants off, followed by his underwear, and his face reddens as he sits exposed, the air making him shiver. But Benji can't focus on his face at that very moment; as soon as he sees Victor's dick, the blood already struggling against the confines of his flesh, Benji's mouth goes dry. He'd seen a lot of nice cocks in his day, but there's something especially pretty about Victor's.
"Can I suck your dick?" Benji asks.
"I would love nothing more," Victor says, his voice husky.
Rolling his eyes, Benji takes Victor's hard length into his hand, feeling it pulsate in his palm. It's bigger and heavier than he expects it to be, which makes him want it in his mouth even more. And so Benji stares up at Victor as he parts his lips and takes his cock in, before he closes his eyes and lets himself sink even lower, letting his throat relax slowly because he wants to get all of it down there.
Victor gasps softly, threading his fingers through Benji's hair and removing his fringe from his face so he can watch him for a moment. And as soon as Benji starts playing with Victor's balls, he can feel the way the other tenses inside him, and Victor pulls himself out, biting his lip.
"Do you want me to fuck you now?" Victor asks softly. Benji nods.
"How do you want me?" Benji asks, his voice hoarse.
"On your back," Victor says, and Benji complies.
Sitting between Benji's legs, Victor slathers his fingers in lube, staring at it for a moment before leaning down and sliding his digits inside Benji and letting his gaze rest on the other's chest for a moment before pressing his lips against Benji's skin and sucking on it as he fingers him, and Benji can only close his eyes, writhing at the torturous, slow movements as Victor takes his time to open him up properly. He could almost be frustrated—almost, because Benji appreciates the sensation of Victor's attentiveness.
Benji opens one eye, clutching at the sheets and gasping as Victor touches the spot inside him that makes him shudder. His mouth and hand playing with Benji's nipples make him wonder where he's been all this time. He doesn't know what to focus on—it's all so overwhelming, the sensation crashing over him like a tsunami.
And it's almost as if Victor knows that Benji is on his last bit of patience because he removes his fingers from inside him and rolls the condom down his stiff cock.
"Wait," Benji says. It's starting to become too intimate. "Let me turn around so you can fuck me from behind."
"That's fine," Victor says.
Sighing, Benji flips around, pressing his face into the soft sheets that make him want to go to sleep. "Just don't stab me in the back, please," he says with a chuckle.
"Well, you're definitely about to get something in you," Victor replies.
Benji raises an eyebrow, kicking himself mentally for laughing, before he says: "Put it in me already. I've literally been waiting all night."
"I'm getting to it, relax," Victor teases, before he slides inside, and Benji gasps, eyes rolling back in his head.
"Fuck."
"How does it feel?" Victor asks, resting his hands on top of Benji's on the bed, pinning him down.
"Mm… Incredible. But please just… stop asking me questions and fuck me so I can't walk tomorrow."
Victor buries his face between Benji's shoulder blades, planting a little kiss there before he pulls out and slides back inside. Benji tenses, moaning as he hits that spot inside him. He does it again. And again. And Benji can barely hold himself up on his knees, so Victor grips at them tightly, pulling him back toward him so he can fuck him deeper, and all Benji can do is whimper and moan and scramble against the sheets for purchase as he presses back against each thrust.
Despite his quickened pace, there is still something so gentle about how Victor handles him, as he reaches between Benji's legs and strokes him until he cums in his hand, his body becoming overstimulated instantly as Victor thrusts into him a few more times before he groans into the flesh of his back and cums, too, whispering sweet nothings just loud enough for Benji to hear.
Benji simply lies there as Victor pulls out of him, shaking and sticky, the ringing in his ears just starting to subside after a few minutes as he stares straight ahead, in a daze. He'd never cum this hard in his life.
"Hey… Benji… You good?"
He doesn't answer for a long time. Victor strokes his hair gently.
"Yeah, I'm fine I just… needed a moment," Benji says, turning over to be on his back again, eyes fluttering closed.
"Let me clean you up," Victor says. "And I'll get us a different blanket."
"Us? Are you inviting me to sleep over?"
"I can't let you leave like this, you're kind of a mess."
Opening his mouth to argue, Benji holds his hand up to cover his yawn instead. "Fine."
The last things he sees before he drifts off to sleep are two shining brown stones hovering over him.
Benji awakens, squinting at the morning sun. He glances around through heavy, weary eyes at the unfamiliar surroundings before he sees the form lying beside him, pupils fixating on the ridges of the spine as the light blankets them. Every part of his body is sore.
Not this shit again… Benji thinks with a sigh, rolling out of bed and searching for his discarded pieces of clothing on the floor and pulling them on quickly, not paying attention to how he looks. He'd promised himself he wouldn't sleepover after a hookup again, but clearly that plan hadn't worked. Again.
He pats himself quickly and frowns. Phone. With a groan, he returns to the bed, hands roaming across the surface of the sheets as he attempts not to make contact with Victor's skin. Where the fuck had his phone gone…?
"Hey, everything okay?" comes the gravelly muttered voice like metal on a wire from beside him, and Benji freezes.
"Uh, yeah—I'm fine. Just—can't find my phone, is all."
Victor sits up and all Benji can do is stare at his torso, which is littered with little purple and brown spots. Benji swallows and looks away.
"It's right here," Victor says, picking it up from his nightstand, then holding it out and stifling a yawn. "You sure you don't wanna stay for breakfast? I make really good pancakes."
Stopping in his tracks, Benji kicks himself for actually considering it for a moment as he takes his phone in his hand. He does like pancakes. And if he could prolong the time before he would inevitably need to limp across campus in his dick appointment clothes on a Saturday morning, then he would do it. With Victor staring at him like that, those wide, brown eyes twinkling and making him weak in the knees, the ground beginning to jostle beneath him, he shakes his head.
"Thank you, but no thank you," Benji says. "I should go. But, uh… I had a lot of fun."
"Okay, that's fine. And for the record, I had fun, too. We should do this again sometime," Victor says, jumping out of bed and shimmying into a pair of shorts with a soft smile. "I'll walk you out?"
"Oh, uh… maybe we can. But not anytime soon. I'm kinda busy with, you know—"
"Your art history paper, right?" Victor says, opening the door and motioning for Benji to go ahead of him. "It sounds really interesting, though. I'd love to read it sometime."
"Sure," Benji says curtly as he walks down the corridor, and the door falls shut behind them. "Thanks again for, uh. Not murdering me in my sleep."
"No problem, you're way too cute to kill, anyway," Victor says with a chuckle, leaning down to kiss Benji on the cheek as they stand before the main entrance. "Get home safe, and let me know when you make it back to your place?"
When Victor pulls away, his face tinges a bit red, and Benji can feel the heat rising to his cheeks, too, like little pockets of fire under his epidermis. He smiles, but Benji nods, short.
"Bye," Benji says with a small wave.
"See ya around," Victor says, and he watches him go.
Outside, Benji shields his face from the elements, the brightness distorting his vision. He wishes his heart would stop doing that thing… The thing where it's like duh-dun duh-dun duh-dun, really fast like the cylinders in a high-powered sports car as it rips across the road. Whatever it is, it's fucking uncomfortable.
As soon as he arrives at his dorm, he remembers Victor's words. He pulls out his phone and opens Grindr, going back to the messages between him and Victor. Finger hovering over the little circle with a line through it in the top right corner, Benji chews on his lip. He ponders.
None of his other hookups had ever offered to make him breakfast before. Or even showed any interest in knowing he made it back to his dorm a few minutes away. And none of them had ever actually tried having a conversation with him before they got busy. It was weird. But also, somehow… really sweet. Benji finds himself staring at his phone with his lip curled up on one side. Exhaling, he goes to the keyboard instead.
"Made it home. Thanks again ?"
He collapses back onto his own bed and stares up at the ceiling as he drops his phone beside his head. The familiar clicking noise jolts him from his peace. He lifts his phone again and reads the message.
"Good to hear ? Wanna meet next week?"
