Chapter 1
Homecoming
In every life, three or four choices can change everything. Kakashi knew this better than anyone, and as the poison coursed through his veins, he remembered those points in his life, those moments when a single word or the slightest move would have led to a different world than this.
A year had passed since the end of the war. A year since he had watched the reunion of his team and vowed he would never let those three be torn apart again. His own life had been on an unchanging trajectory since he was twelve years old, but he wanted the fates of his young team members to be different. Wanted for them the happy ending he didn't deserve. He hoped he had at last gotten it right.
Now, among the scattered bodies of his attackers, his knees hit the hard stone and he reached a shaking hand to the wound in his arm. Blood dripped warm and wet through his fingers and with the last of his strength he formed the hand signs and spoke the jutsu that would summon his ninken. The dogs could do nothing for him, he knew, but he didn't want to die alone.
Beneath his palm, the summoning seal took effect, and as concentric circles of intricate black symbols raced across the ground, he finally collapsed. His vision blurred and he felt the first soft flurries of snow upon his face. All chances to change anything were gone for him, and in his last moments he didn't waste a single one wishing his life wasn't at an end. He saw only images of the three people he loved most in the world.
He saw Naruto's laughter during their journey home after the war. He saw Sasuke's gratitude after his pardon and freedom. And in the end, he saw the wild green of Sakura's eyes, a tangle of flowers in her hair, and her hopeful smile as it was on that last morning, and he tried to hold on to it as his world went black.
-One Year Earlier-
Sakura and Kakashi took turns holding each other up as they crossed the Land of Sound into the Land of Fire and finally reached the Valley of the End. Sunlight glinted off the ancient cliffs but only when Sakura stood at their edge did she realize where they were.
The two towering stone monoliths that had stood for generations at each side of the valley, perpetually facing one another and separated by the falls, had toppled. Once majestic statues of the First Hokage and Madara Uchiha, they were now only cleaved and shattered rocks strewn across the valley floor. Only two massive stone hands remained recognizable, one from each statue, come together at their end.
After the fighting and loss of the last three days, Sakura had little room left for shock, and it wasn't the destruction that tore a gasp from her. Far below, atop one of the broken hands, lay Sasuke and Naruto.
"There they are!" Sakura cried, and in the next moment she had jumped from the ledge. The speed of the fall whipped her pink hair behind her, but she channeled chakra to her feet and landed lightly on the rocks below.
The instant her feet touched the ground, she rushed to her teammates, horrified at the sight. Each had lost an arm and their blood had pooled together into one dark stream over the rocks. Her first devastating thought was that they were dead but she forced it away. Until all hope was lost, she could not let her heart break.
She fell to her knees between them, her hands already surrounded by the glowing green chakra of her medical jutsu. The moment it touched their skin, and the healing energy poured into the ragged and bloody wounds where their arms had been, she felt their heartbeats. Her relief was so intense it almost hurt.
Naruto stirred and struggled to open his eyes. One was almost swollen shut, and the rest of his face was beaten and bruised. "Thanks Sakura-chan," he wheezed.
Sakura's lip quivered, but she fought back the tears. She needed all her focus on the task of sealing off blood vessels and nerves and arranging muscles and skin around the bones.
Sasuke's breathing sped up, and he said, his voice raw, "Sakura... never mind me."
"Stay quiet," she said. "I need to concentrate."
His breaths were labored and his left eye was closed, but with some struggle, Sasuke turned his face toward her. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Sorry?" she asked, trying to keep her voice level. "For what?"
"For everything."
The tears wouldn't stay in any longer. They spilled over her cheeks and onto her tattered pants, even as her hands kept up the steady chakra flow of her treatment. Did he know what was wrapped up in that everything? Did he know she'd lost the biggest part of herself when he'd deserted them four years ago? Was he prepared to give that back to her? "You should be," she said. "Really... you..." Her tears became sobs and her voice broke. "You damn... idiot!"
She couldn't look at him, and he didn't try to speak more, but she could feel his gaze on her as she worked.
"You tell him, Sakura," Naruto croaked out in a painful-sounding rasp. "I've already threatened to slug him if he doesn't stop whining."
Sakura couldn't help a sad, choking laugh, and her sobs waned as she sniffled. Sasuke turned his head away from her so he could look at Naruto, and Sakura saw the tracks of dried tears along his cheek and the beginning of a faint smile.
"At least Sasuke lost his left arm." Naruto eyed the empty sleeve hanging loose from his right shoulder. "I'm useless over here."
"Naruto," Sasuke said, his lip curling. "How does only having a right arm instead of a left make hand signs any easier for me? And as you've clearly forgotten, I'm left-handed."
Sakura looked at Kakashi over the heads of the other two, now apparently useless, ninja, and grinned. He was sitting in one of the hospital room's few chairs, a familiar book in his hands, and from the crease at the corners of his eyes, she knew he was smiling beneath the dark mask that covered the lower half of his face.
Laughing, Sakura returned her attention to Naruto. "Will you hold still already?" she said and smacked the side of his head lightly. The blankets on his hospital bed were bunched and twisted from his restless energy and he was lucky she hadn't hit him harder. "If you don't let me treat you, we won't be able to go home."
"Sakura!" Naruto whined, squeezing his features into a grimace. "What did you do that for? I'm missing an arm and I could have died out there!"
"And if you had, I would have died too." She leaned down and gave his shoulders a squeeze. "But it's half your fault you're missing an arm. So stop being a knucklehead and let me treat you."
She straightened again, and her chakra illumined her palm as she swept it slowly over his right shoulder. She was repairing damaged nerve endings and torn ligaments, but as she went along, she also infused the treatment with her own comforting massage. It was a trick that used more chakra than she could usually spare on a battlefield, but here, in this tiny, northern Fire Country hospital room, she cherished a fledgling hope that she'd seen her last battle.
"If it's anyone's fault," Naruto countered, "it's Sasuke's. He's the reason we only have two arms between us now. If you're gonna beat someone up, beat him up." He twisted around to shoot what Sakura could only assume was a long-suffering glare at Sasuke, who was resting calmly against the pillows of the other hospital bed. Sakura was surprised to see another smile on his face when his eyes met Naruto's.
But it was only there for a moment, and his expression resumed its impassivity when he raised his face to hers.
Sakura looked quickly back down with a blush and tried to focus on Naruto's treatment, but even as wounds smoothed over with newly healed skin beneath her hands, her thoughts strayed to Sasuke and she couldn't keep the warmth from rising to her cheeks again. She wondered if Naruto could feel the stutter in her heart through her chakra.
Naruto and Sasuke had each lost so much, but when she thought of how they had been before they had tried to kill each other at the Valley of the End, she wondered if what they had gained might somehow justify all the loss. Sasuke was back. He was finally back and she'd never have to let him go again.
"How does it look?" Naruto asked. Sakura's fingertips glided over the stump of his right arm, her chakra prodding beneath the skin. "Good enough to leave tomorrow as planned?"
"Your arm looks really good. You shouldn't have any painful bundling of nerve cells." The chakra faded from her hand and she sat down on the edge of his bed. "But let me look at that eye."
Naruto's eye was still swollen half-closed and tender from her repeated chakra treatments of the past days. She spread a new bandage across the deep laceration on his cheek and sat back to look at her work. "There," she said, "almost back to new."
She had been sure there would be permanent damage to the socket when she'd first begun treating it, but even after suffering the type of chakra exhaustion that would have killed other people, it had been healing almost as quickly as his injuries always did. With the nine-tailed beast and the vestiges of the other eight that resided in him, she supposed Naruto would never be a normal case-study though.
And now, there wasn't any reason she could find to stall any longer. At least she wouldn't disappoint the expectant hope spread over Naruto's face. "And yes," she said. "we can go home tomorrow."
Home—Konohagakure no sato—the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Until Kakashi had told them what awaited Sasuke when they returned, her longing to be home again had been intense. She had yearned to walk through Konoha's gates and feel the hum of the village roads beneath her feet, to see her parents after all the months away, to laugh with her friends... to finally be with Sasuke. Now, all she wanted was to delay their homecoming.
But Naruto's face was immediately overspread with the familiar grin he'd flashed her so many times over the years. "Team Seven together again," he said. After only a moment though, his expression sobered and he leveled a steady gaze at her.
"What is it?" she asked.
When he spoke, his voice was hushed and earnest. "I told you I'd bring him back. I'm real sorry it took me so long."
"Oh, Naruto, you have nothing to apologize for." She wrapped his shoulders in a fierce hug and the attempt to hold back tears made her throat ache.
"Hey, Sakura," he said as he wrapped his arm around her awkwardly. "It's ok."
She drew back with a weak smile. "Aren't you worried at all about what will happen to Sasuke when we get back?"
"What is there to be worried about? It's just a stupid formality that Granny Tsunade has to do. But once she sees him and talks to him, she'll know he's alright. And even if she doesn't, I won't let him stay locked up."
Sakura frowned, doubtful. "I don't know. She doesn't know him like we do. She doesn't..." her voice trailed off. "After everything he's been through. After everything he did for the village in the war, how can they do this to him?"
But Naruto smiled and bumped her shoulder, and his blue eyes were clear and confident when he said, "Don't worry. He'll be out in no time, believe it. You'll see. Besides, he promised to help me."
"Help you?" she asked. "With what?"
"Getting all shinobi to cooperate with each other now," he said. "You know I can't do it without him."
With a fresh rush of emotion, Sakura could only lay her head against Naruto's spiky blond locks and squeezed him tighter. She hoped he was right. For as long as she had known him, he'd been able to see the world as it should be and believe in happy endings, and it was his belief alone that had made so many of them happen. Finally she said, "I don't know what we'd do without you."
"Aw, Sakura, you're the one we can't live without." He raised the stump of his right arm and wagged it at her. "If it weren't for you, who knows if we'd have made it."
"Well, you do have a point." Sakura smiled. "And you'd better not forget it." But then she stood and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "Thank you Naruto."
Later that night, after Sasuke and Naruto had fallen asleep, Sakura climbed onto the couch in the corner of the hospital room and curled up in the little space left on it that was not being occupied by Kakashi.
"Scooch," she said to him. He was stretched out on his back with his hands interlaced beneath his head at the opposite end of the couch, and she squeezed between him and the cushions, and tucked her toes against the underside of his arm. Without opening his eyes, he scooted over an inch to accommodate her.
"How are they doing?" he murmured.
"Good." She glanced across the room at the sleeping forms of Naruto and Sasuke. "I guess we can all get out of here in the morning." She hadn't left the hospital since they'd reached it a week before, but Kakashi had returned to the Land of Lightning to help those left after the final battle, and had since made multiple trips to Konoha. "How are they in Konoha today?"
"Better," Kakashi said. "But it'll be some time before everyone has recovered from what they saw while hooked up to that thing."
Sakura couldn't imagine what people must be going through. Apparently those who had been imprisoned to the ten-tails tree in the last day of the war had experienced hallucinations of their greatest desires. When Kakashi had found Lady Tsunade on the battlefield in the Land of Lightning, she had been healing the wounded and shouting orders at the rest, and whatever she had seen in her own visions had been put to the side, but Sakura knew she must be suffering.
Sakura's thoughts and eyes were drawn to Sasuke, as they had been hundreds of times over the last few days. He was so beautiful, she thought. A square of moonlight fell soft over his face as he slept and all she wanted to do was curl up next to him, lean her head on his chest, and fall asleep with the steady beat of his heart against her ear.
She couldn't hate him. Before the war, she had tried to; he had hurt them all, but the version of her that had believed she could kill him was long gone and any blame she felt was gone with it. And now that he was coming home, it was like the intervening years, with all their tears and battles and heartbreak over him, had been swept away by the smitten schoolgirl she'd been at twelve years old, heart thumping and hands trembling every time she looked at him.
But she was sure there was something different now, a new look in his eyes. She couldn't help but believe it meant something, that after her years of hoping he'd come back and the aching loneliness his absence had been, it meant he would, at long last, accept her love for him. That she'd win his love and her life would finally fall into place.
She turned away, and found Kakashi's eyes on her. "Even after all these years, you still wear your heart on your sleeve," he said.
Sakura blushed. "Am I that obvious?"
"Maybe just for those who know you."
"You must think I'm an idiot," she said.
"No." His voice was gentle. "You two have been through a lot together. There's nothing to explain."
Her gaze went back to Sasuke, his black hair splayed against the pillow and the sharp lines of his face almost soft in sleep, and she suddenly felt like crying. "And yet the village doesn't think he's been punished enough."
"It has to be done Sakura. He understands."
"No, I know," she said. "I guess... I don't know. I guess I hoped what he did for us during the war would be enough. That he wouldn't still be viewed as a criminal. I never thought he wouldn't be welcomed back." Her sadness turned to anger and frustration all over again. He's a good person, she thought. How could the rest of Konoha not see that?
"The people of the village don't know him like you and Naruto do. Think about it from their perspectives. Their opinions can be changed, but it won't happen overnight. And procedures must be followed. He knows that. The fact that he's accepting the consequences of his actions will show Lady Tsunade who he is."
A small part of the knot in her stomach unwound. "I hope so," she said. "He's really back."
Kakashi closed his eyes again. "It would seem so."
Sakura watched the steady rise and fall of Kakashi's chest. His silver hair was unruly and tousled, a sharp contrast to the rigid lines and simple utility of the Jōnin uniform he wore. He hadn't said anything about his own sorrow, but Sakura had seen it in his eyes—eyes that were both the same deep gray now, after losing his Sharingan in the war. Sasuke and Naruto would need to relearn a lot after the loss of their arms, but Kakashi might need to relearn even more without the heightened vision he'd been used to for most of his life.
"And how are you doing?" she asked softly.
Kakashi opened his eyes again and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm alright," he said, "it will be good to be back in Konoha for a stretch."
"Yeah." She sighed. "Home will be good for us."
"Besides," he continued in the languid tone that was so familiar to her. "Any more of this schedule, and Lady Tsunade will start setting higher expectations for me."
"Well, I hate to break it to you, but it's probably too late for you," Sakura said with a quiet laugh. "I hope you enjoyed being lazy while it lasted."
"Ah, you're probably right." Kakashi conceded with droll resignation. But after a pause, he said, "To tell you the truth, if it weren't for you kids, I think I'd be lost."
The rare candor surprised Sakura, and emotion swelled in her chest. "It's the same for us, you know. We wouldn't have made it through without you." The words weren't enough for everything she felt, but after all they'd seen together over the years, she figured words weren't even necessary.
After a moment though, she smiled and nudged his arm with her foot. "But seriously, Kakashi-sensei, you know we're not kids anymore. We're seventeen. That's like the tenth time this week you've called us kids."
The corners of his eyes revealed the smile beneath his mask. "I've got 14 years on you three. You'll always be kids to me."
The following morning brought a whirlwind of confusion and minor irritations as they all tried to gather their things for the journey ahead. Eventually though, they were off and leaping through the forest canopy toward home.
Sakura watched Sasuke sail through the branches ahead of her and remembered another time, years ago, when she and Naruto and Master Jiraiya had gone in pursuit of him soon after he had deserted the village. She had been jumping through the forest canopy on that day too, and in her desperate heartbreak had imagined him in front of her just like this, as if he were still with them and they were on just another mission.
But now he really was there, in flesh and bone and heart, and she didn't have to imagine him anymore. If she had the nerve, she could reach out and touch him.
Every stride brought them closer to the village though, and each one added more weight to the crush of anxiety Sakura felt. All she wanted was to slow down and delay the moment when Sasuke would be taken to the Konoha prison. She wondered if Anbu black ops would be waiting for him at the gates, or if he would have to turn himself in. It was all a twisted joke to her, an unnecessary piece of theater that would help no one.
Despite Sakura's wish for the journey to go on longer, the gates of the village appeared in the distance while the sun still burned high in the sky. They all dropped to the ground to walk the last hundred yards and Naruto drew away from Sasuke for the first time since they'd left the hospital to walk alongside her, bouncing with enthusiastic energy. "Who do you think will be at the gate today? Do you think they'll have a welcome party for us?"
"I doubt it Naruto. Everyone is still recovering from their own experiences. It was rougher on them than on us."
His exuberance quelled. "I know it was."
"But everyone will be overjoyed to see you, I know that."
"It doesn't matter." Naruto's eyes were downcast. "I wasn't able to save everyone. I wasn't able to save Neji, or Inoichi-san, or Shikaku-san."
She wanted to comfort him, to tell him again that all those left owed their lives to him, but just as Kakashi had said so many times, she knew that sometimes sympathetic words would only make things worse. In the end, she settled for taking his hand in hers and giving it a squeeze.
Ahead of them, Sasuke walked with his head and shoulders straight, lean and graceful and almost regal. He seemed fearless, impervious. Unbothered by the powers acting upon him. After a few minutes, Naruto pulled his hand free from hers to run up beside him again. He slowed his pace to match Sasuke's, and grinned, and Sakura couldn't help a melancholy smile. Who would have thought two weeks ago that they could be like this?
All too soon though, the massive green splintered wood panels of the Kohona gates towered overhead. They passed beneath them onto the wide main street, its multi-colored shops and buildings lining the road and drawing Sakura's eyes toward the Hokage monument at the opposite end with its five carved stone faces that tirelessly watched over the village and its people.
Later, Sakura walked out of the Hokage Tower and wandered in the general direction of the Training Grounds. The last hour had passed in a blur.
When they had entered the village, Naruto was almost trampled by Konohamaru, who was on gate duties, and in the noise and laughter the mood had been joyous for a few blissful minutes. But soon Kakashi was whispering something in her ear, and she was turning to see him taking Sasuke's arm, and she knew the moment she'd been dreading had come.
They had gone to Lady Tsunade's office, where it was crowded and oppressive. Ibiki had been there, his scarred and haggard face unreadable, and two members of his Anbu interrogation squad, faceless and nameless under their animal masks, stood by him. Tsunade's assistant, Shizune, was also there, and Sakura's old squad leader, Yamato, but as relieved as she was to see those two friends, she could only spare a fraction of her attention for anyone but Sasuke.
In the end, he had gone willingly with Kakashi and Ibiki's team, and her heart ached for him. His chin was held high, his face resolute, and he had not looked at her.
The door closed behind him and the air suddenly felt heavy. Her pulse pounded in her ears. People were speaking around her, but she couldn't make out the voices. She needed to leave or she would scream.
"Sakura!" Naruto called as she walked out. "Where are you going?"
"I just need some air," she said.
"Let her go," she heard Lady Tsunade say.
She was careless of the scenery around her as she walked, her eyes on the ground as she kicked a pebble along the dusty road. It tumbled into the grass, and she continued on, past the three stumps where she and Naruto and Sasuke had taken their first test with Kakashi years before, and toward the village's memorial stone.
The tribute to Konoha's fallen soldiers was a slab of polished granite the color of tears, and standing before it, Sakura wondered how they would fit the names of all the shinobi who had given their lives in this last war. She wondered where Neji's name would be carved. The thought brought the sting of tears to her eyes and the names on the stone blurred.
She didn't know how long she stood there, but her tears had dried and the shadows were falling long over the ground when she heard approaching footsteps. She knew who it was, and when he drew up beside her, she didn't turn.
He must have just come from arranging everything at the jail, but as badly as she wanted to know how Sasuke was, she waited; waited for Kakashi to say in his head and heart what he needed to say to his childhood teammates Obito and Rin, whose names had been carved there for so many years. Names that would soon be joined by so many more.
"I left him with Ibiki," Kakashi finally said, his voice impassive. Sakura wanted to ask more but was fearful of the answers. Kakashi stood with his hands in his pockets, his eyes focused on the stone. "You shouldn't worry. I don't think there's any restraint they can put him in that would keep him there if he wasn't there by choice."
"But is he... when will..." her voice trailed off.
"There'll be a hearing next week. Naruto and I will be there, with Lady Tsunade and the elders, and we'll give our recommendations." He turned his face toward her and his dark gray eyes were steady and calm. "Our opinions will be given a lot of weight in the decision."
"Next week?" She searched his eyes. "And until then?"
"Until then, Ibiki and his team will be questioning him."
Sakura took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she turned back to face the memorial stone. He'll be fine, she thought. But she imagined Sasuke alone in a cell, bound and isolated, tormented in mind and body, and her anger and anxiety returned.
"I wish I could be there with him." She clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut but couldn't stop the fresh wave of tears, which tumbled down her cheeks. She felt helpless and suddenly very alone. How could she be so strong in so many ways but so weak in others? Or maybe she wasn't strong at all.
And then she felt a light touch, and a squeeze of her shoulders, as Kakashi put his arm around her and pulled her gently to his side. She turned into him and buried her face against his chest, and in the next moment, both his arms were around her and he held her as she cried. His heartbeat was slow and strong, and it calmed her, and finally her tears dried and she sniffed into his jacket. She felt his hold loosen, but he didn't let go until she drew away and wiped her eyes.
She stared blankly again at the memorial stone, and they stood there together a long while more, in easy silence, until the sky turned the color of moonlight and the stars shone above their heads.
A/N:
I hope you enjoy so far! Please review-it is food for my soul.
