Description
Queen Glimmer's life is pretty great. Being queen of Bright Moon is a lot easier now that the war is over especially with her friends and husband by her side. She's mastered her powers and she finally has a lead on getting her mother back. So what if endless diplomacy makes her feel like she's losing her edge? She's got this.
Glimmer Moon's life is a disaster. She's a year out of college and still battling her mom about what she wants to do with the rest of her life. Failure to launch has her insecurities out of control and none of that helps the fact that she's completely and totally in love with her roommate. The LAST thing she needs is for Bow to find out and have that part of her life fall apart too.
Two different Glimmers.
Two different universes.
And, one day, they switch places.
Earth
"She's just so amazing, you know? Like last night we went out, and this guy started hitting on her and Catra was like, 'Fuck off, buddy'... except it was something much more clever than that and… I don't know. It was hilarious. I guess you had to be there."
Glimmer rolled her eyes and went back to attacking the stove top with a sponge. She liked Catra fine, but Adora had spent this entire facetime call gushing about her fiance and she had sort of had it. She didn't begrudge her friends being cute and in love normally, but tonight she was in no mood for it.
"Where is Ms. Wonderful tonight anyway? Shouldn't you two be basking in pre-matrimonial bliss or whatever?" The problem was, the stove wasn't even that dirty. This is what happened when you had a neat-freak roommate. She really could have done with some absolutely obnoxious crusted bit of burned food to consume all her attention right now but she'd tried the microwave, the stove top AND the sink and hadn't been able to find anything that didn't come off with a little elbow grease. NOW how was she supposed to work out all this… whatever the hell this was?
"It's Super Pal Trio night. They do a pot luck thing every month where they complain about their old job. Very sacred tradition." Adora paused as the crowd cheered in whatever sporting event she was watching, probably basketball from the sound of it. "She's going to be pretty hungover tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'll bet." Glimmer gave up on the too-clean stove and flung her sponge into the sink so hard it bounced. Let's see, cabinets sparkling, counter tops mirror shine, she'd even washed the little spinny dish thing in the microwave. She considered the knobs on the oven for a moment and then yanked them off, taking them over to the sink to see if she could scrub off some of the old grease.
"What are you doing over there?"
"Cleaning."
"You? Cleaning? On purpose?" Adora laughed and Glimmer actually turned around to make sure she SAW her glare this time. "Who are you and what have you done with my friend Glimmer?"
She ignored Adora and went back to the knobs. There was actually a glob of grease on the one that was pretty well stuck on, and it was immensely satisfying to jab at it with a chipped pink fingernail.
"Is your mom coming over or something?"
"No, thank GOD. That's next week." Glimmer grabbed the phone stand and moved it to next to the sink so she could see Adora while they were talking.
"Have you figured out what you're going to do about that?"
"I'm trying not to think about it." What was the point? She was going to end up doing whatever her mom wanted. That's how it always worked, right? Her mom came in and steamrolled over whatever Glimmer wanted to do with her life until every path she'd beaten for herself was a perfectly paved road going wherever her mother wanted it to go. And after 22 years of this shit, she was sick to death of fighting about it. She could feel tears pricking in the corners of her eyes and wiped them away with her arm. God, she wished Bow was here. Then she remembered why he wasn't and got upset all over again. "I'm trying not to think about a lot of stuff, honestly."
"What does Bow think?"
"The usual. That I should talk to her. Less screaming, more listening. That I should stand up for myself. Like, what does he think I'm doing during the screaming part?" Pretty hypocritical, honestly, when you consider this was the same guy who was ready to fake his own death rather than admit to his dads he'd dropped his history major.
"You know Bow, he just hates to see you upset. Where is he tonight anyway?"
"Out." She swallowed, blinking fast. She would NOT cry, goddamn it!
"Where—Oh, shit! I totally forgot. The date! Fuck, Glimmer, I'm so sorry. You should have reminded me. You know what, I can still come over. Give me, like, five minutes to get dressed and—"
"Adora, no. I'm fine." She was NOT fine, but it was the kind of not fine where she really didn't want to be fussed over. "He's probably going to be home in an hour or so anyway."
Unless the date went really well and he decided to stay overnight. Oh god, why did she have to think that? She closed her eyes and tried not to vomit from pure stress.
Unfortunately, as dense as Adora could be sometimes about… basically everything, she was remarkably tuned into Glimmer's emotions for this particular issue. "Is that why you're cleaning? In case he brings his date home?"
"No!" Shit, she hadn't even thought about that. What WOULD she do if he brought his date home? Other than drop dead on the spot. If she had to spend the rest of the evening hiding in her bedroom listening to… She squeezed the greasy knob so hard it shot out of her hand and flew under the kitchen table. She went after it, grateful for the chance to hide. "I'm just trying to keep my hands busy so I don't lose my fucking mind."
"Well, that's good, I guess."
"And maybe because… I don't know." Glimmer finished digging around under the table and came back up to Adora's concerned face. "He comes home, and he says, 'Hey, Glimmer, you cleaned? You HATE cleaning!' and then he realizes I did it because I'm in love with him and is like… 'So, uh, haha, actually I should have mentioned before that I'm in love with you too. What a wacky misunderstanding this has all been!' and then we, like, throw ourselves at each other and furiously make out and live happily ever after."
"Or, you know, crazy idea, but…" Adora's voice was soft and understanding, which somehow made it worse than if she was busting her. "You just tell him?"
Fuck. She was crying for real now, big fat tears sliding off her face and onto her clean counter, making a mess like everything else in her big fat disaster of a life.
"OK, I'm coming over."
"No, Adora! You're not. I'm fine. It's a moment of weakness. It's just the stuff with my mom and the future and now this on top of it… I just need a minute to pull myself back together." She wiped her face with the sleeve of the old shirt she'd thrown on after work. She had years of practice at pining after her best friend, you'd think she'd be better at it by now. "And the Bow thing… it's… whatever."
The rest of her thought got choked back behind a fresh wave of tears.
"I don't get it. You were the one who insisted he go! He was ready to say no."
"Because I want him to be happy! And I don't want him to think I'm jealous!"
"But you are jealous!" Adora had switched off the TV, giving their phone call her full attention, which didn't exactly make Glimmer feel like less of a needy whiner. "Look, I can't help you with the mom thing. Me and moms, well, you know… But you and Bow have been friends your whole lives. Why can't you just tell him?"
"Because… I can't." Her friendship with Bow was the only part of her life right now that wasn't a complete disaster. Now that Adora was always off with Catra and things with her mom were worse than ever, he was the center of her entire universe. And if she told him… if he didn't feel the same… "What if it ruins everything?"
"What if it doesn't?"
"Why? Has he said something to you about me? You two are close."
"No, but he doesn't have to! The way he looks at you, the way he acts. He chose his college because you would be there, his major because it meant getting to spend more time with you. He lives there in that tiny apartment because it's where you live. You're the axis his world spins around."
"Because he's my best friend."
"Oh my god, you're killing me. He likes you!" Adora moved the camera, so it was even closer to her face. "Look, Bow's, like, a catch or whatever, right? If you're into that kind of thing. Guys?"
Glimmer laughed bitterly. "Uh, yeah? He's nice and sweet and funny and smart and built like a fucking Greek god. He could have literally anyone he wanted." Any number of conventionally attractive people whose lives were together and weren't sobbing in their kitchen over a greasy stove knob because they couldn't get their shit together.
"And yet, he's always single, right? He spends almost every waking second with you. Doesn't that tell you something?"
"That he's a really good friend and I'm such mess that he feels like he has to take care of me like some kind of hopeless infant." God, she was really blubbering now, but once the floodgates had opened up, apparently there was no holding them back. "That I'm holding him back from having a normal, fulfilling life by being hopelessly pathetic."
"Glimmer, for fuck's sake, you're not… Just tell him!"
"I can't, ok? I just can't!" There was a long pause while she collapsed against the sink, her tears falling into the basin, everything feeling hollow and broken. Because, sure, it was easy enough on an average day to lie to herself that this was enough. Living together, playing house, being "just friends." But on a night like this, when he was out there flirting and kissing and doing god knows what else with someone else, there was no lie comforting enough to cover up her fear. What would she do when he found someone, something that wasn't pretend, and left her behind?
"Hey." Adora. She's almost forgotten her friend was still on the line. She wiped her face on the only dry part of her shirt and turned to the screen. "Remember, back when Catra was a bitch—"
"You say that like she's not still a bitch."
"Well, yeah, but now she's like… a cuddly bitch."
"Mhmm. Says you." But at least that made her laugh a little.
"Anyway, before everything, you know when we got into that fight with her friends that time, on the bridge? And Scorpia, she was ready to throw you right over the edge and you… you just punched her in the damn face. Twice your size, your literal life in her hands. You did not give a single fuck. Just hauled off and cold cocked her. No fear at all. It was the most badass thing I have ever seen." Adora grinned at her. "Where is that Glimmer?"
"I don't know." She's gone. Glimmer gave up on the knob, grabbing two big handfuls of cold water and washing the tears off her face. She'd spent most of her life hopped up on hubris and pent up anger because she felt like she was getting ready to fight for something. But then she never figured out what it was and, with nothing to focus it on, all that was left was fear and doubt. "I appreciate you talking to me, Adora, but I think I'm going to go. I'm tired and drained and…" A fucking shitshow. "I'll talk to you later, OK?"
"OK, but I'm calling tomorrow to check in on you. And, please, when he gets home, just tell Bow how you—"
"Goodbye, Adora." Glimmer broke off the call, her hands shaking as she set the phone face down on the counter. The sound of footsteps in the hallway outside and what had to be Bow's keys sunk her heart down into the absolute bottom of her stomach. She hadn't expected him back this early.
Well, hey, maybe that meant he had a terrible time. Did that make her a bad person, that she was rooting for her best friend to have had a bad time on his date? It did, didn't it? Add that to the fucking list.
Or maybe it meant they were having a great time and had come back here for privacy.
Ughhhhh, god, she was going to be sick. She looked down at what she was wearing, some stained old shirt from her punk days when the style had been artfully distressed slashes and knots. She'd just thrown it on for cleaning and now his date was going to see her like this, this pathetic grungy mess and think to themselves, this is my competition? Ha!
Should she change? She should probably change. But then she heard his key in the lock and the door swung open.
Etheria
There was a soft knock, the secret one they'd agreed on, and Queen Glimmer startled out of her concentration. She took a last look between the sigil in the book and the one she'd drawn on the floor, trying to figure out if it looked weird or if she'd just been staring at it so long it had stopped making sense to her brain. She paced the edge of the circle again, double checking that her lines were clean. She'd done this about a million times already, but this was too important to screw up.
Finally she set down the book and deliberately WALKED to the wall, drawing the rune, and making the door fly open. Bow stepped in, the closing the door quickly behind him, activating the spell on the opposite site so no one else could follow.
His face immediately broke into that same wonderful grin it always did when he saw her, like she was the center of his own personal universe. "There's my glow! I missed you!"
"Hey, handsome!" She teleported herself higher so she could wrap her arms around his neck, knowing he'd catch her, and gave him a peck on the lips. "I feel like I haven't seen you all day!"
"That's because you haven't." He'd lifted her so he was looking up at her. "It's past dinner again."
"Stars, is it? I'm sorry! You should have gotten me!" She'd intentionally set up in a room without windows so they could keep this whole endeavor secret, but instead it just meant she kept losing all track of time. "Did you eat at least?"
"Nah. The others did. I said I'd rather wait and eat with my wife."
"Your wife. Hmmm." She grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss, deeper this time. She slid her fingers through his hair and they bumped against the golden circlet she still wasn't quite used to him wearing. "I am NEVER going to get tired of that."
He laughed and pressed his forehead against hers. "Good, because neither am I."
"So!" She patted his arm, and he set her back down on her feet. She stepped into the middle of the circle of runes and sigils she'd drawn across the floor of what was normally a spare room before they'd moved all the furniture out for their experiment. "How does it look?"
"Uh… like a bunch of magic symbols?" Bow grinned sheepishly when she made a face at him. He stepped closer but still gave the circle a wide berth. "I'm sorry, but you know I know next to nothing about this magic stuff. But it all looks very impressive!"
"Well, thank you." She slid the book she'd been using back into the neat row of tomes lined up on the small table. Her scrolls were also stacked there, organized by spell type and intensity, and there were half a dozen crystals arranged in a small circle on the other side. Those probably didn't do anything, but Aunt Casta insisted they were good luck and, honestly, they could use all the luck they could get.
"If only you kept your closet this neat. What's with the signs?" Bow gestured to the banners she'd taped up all over the walls, as large as the targets she used to keep in her childhood bedroom, all of which just said, "NO!" in huge letters.
"The signs are for the same thing as the string on my finger." She held up her index where she'd tied a bright red string in a floppy bow just under the tip. "Annnd the rubber band on my wrist. Reminding myself not to teleport."
"But you teleported when I came in."
"Well, it's fine over there. But now that the circle is complete, if I teleport over here, it'll activate the spell." She wasn't even going to mention how many close calls she'd already had. Teleporting was as natural as breathing. Remembering not to do it required a lot of concentration… a tricky thing when she was already trying to get ready for the most complicated spell of her life. But she'd been training as a sorceress for years now and trusted her mastery over her powers.
Bow swallowed and reached his hand towards her. "How about you come back over here, then?"
"Yes, dear." She laughed as he grabbed her hand and tugged her back into the safe zone.
He held her at arm's length, his gaze intense. "Are you SURE you don't want to get someone from the Sorcerer's Guild or at least your aunt to double check it?"
"No. I told you. There's nobody I trust enough to keep this secret but you. Even Catra and Adora… you know how guilty Catra feels about the whole thing. And my dad's been so sad lately… I just don't want to get his hopes up in case this doesn't work."
Bow exhaled and crossed the room, considering the symbols on the ground from a safe distance away, like he thought they might blow up. He'd supported her 100% through this project, but he was still very nervous with sorcery, like somehow Shadow Weaver was going to pop out of a sigil on the ground at any minute and drive a wedge between them again. "Trouble, I still don't know about this."
She exhaled and… whoops, almost forgot… WALKED to his side, linking her fingers between his. "I know you're nervous. I am too. But we've taken every precaution. There's no safer way to do it."
He tugged her over to the nearest chair and sat, pulling her down in this lap. He leaned his forehead against her arm, his eyes closed. "But do you have to do it?"
"Yes. I do."
He nodded against her arm, accepting it without even opening his eyes. They'd had this conversation before. Like… a bunch of times before. But she didn't mind having it again because she knew he was asking because he loved her and if this went wrong, well…
But it wouldn't go wrong! She was certain of it. They'd thought of everything. And if it succeeded…
She lay down against his shoulder so she could see his face better. "Bow, if you don't want me to do it…"
"No. That would be selfish." He opened his eyes and wiped away a tear. Then he smiled, but it was still masking a ton of worry. "I'm… nervous. Of course I am. You're everything to me. But I trust you and your magic."
Stars, she loved him so much. "And I trust your calculations."
He shook his head. "I've gone over and over them but I still think if we had Entrapta double check… Because it is her, I'm sure of that, but it's also the first signal we've been able to isolate and the thing is, in theory anyway, there could be infinite realities and, for all we know, that could mean infinite versions of—"
"I know. But we found this one. And I want to check it out. I just… have a feeling about it. Like it's something I need to do. For us." She smoothed over the wrinkles in his forehead with her thumb. "And, hey, how much longer do I have to do dumb stuff like this? Like you're really going to let me try to teleport between dimensions after we have kids?"
"I'm amused you think I could stop you."
"But that's the thing, Bow. She loved you so much. And she already missed our wedding! I just don't want her to miss… anything else." Like them starting a family, but she didn't have to say it because he knew. And she didn't say the other thing out loud either, the big thing that had hung over every day since the portal. Words shouted in anger that she could never, ever take back.
"I know." He trailed his fingers along her arm and she rested against his chest, finding solace in the familiar smell of him, like the woods. Old grief was still heavy in her gut. Never really lessened, just… different. But that was the thing about having known each other for so long. They knew exactly when it was time for words and when it wasn't.
They sat there for a while in silence, holding each other. He pretended not to notice the way her fingers clutched at his jacket in fury at her younger self, and she pretended not to notice that he was stealthily wiping tears from his eyes before they could slide all the way down his cheek. She wasn't sure how long they sat like that until her stomach complained loudly about the lack of dinner and they both laughed.
"OK, we need to get you some food, your majesty," Bow said, leaning over to kiss her forehead.
Earth
He looked so handsome it hurt. He always looked good, but somehow it was different when he dressed up. Though knowing he'd gotten dressed up this way for someone else made bile rise in her throat.
Bow stepped into the apartment and shrugged off his jacket. He tossed his keys into the little bowl they kept by the door and stared at them for a minute before closing the door behind him.
No date. Just Bow. It felt like the oxygen finally came back into the room.
Cheerful. Like a normal person. "Hey! I didn't expect you back so soon!"
He startled and turned to her, his face immediately lighting up with a huge grin. "You're here! You said maybe you and Adora—"
"Eh, no. I didn't really feel like going out." She put on her biggest, brightest, completely fakest smile. "So, how was your date?"
"It was fine." He came over and pulled her into a one-armed hug, the same way he did whenever he came home. All that was missing was a kiss on the cheek and she could pretend he was her husband, greeting her after work or something. He smelled like a bar, though it didn't seem like he'd been drinking. She could smell his aftershave underneath that, familiar and comforting. "What have you been up to?"
He pulled away, and she immediately wanted to tug him back. Instead, she turned and pretended to be busy putting the knobs back on the stove.
"Oh, I'm boring! I want to hear about your night! Are you going to go out with him again?" It was someone from maker's club, she knew that much. She didn't remember his name. It was better that way. She never wanted to know their names. It was too tempting to hex them or something.
"I don't know. I don't think he's my type."
Glimmer laughed, a genuine one made of relief. "You say that every time. What even is your type?"
He didn't answer, and she turned to see him staring at her, a strange expression on his face. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, like there was something he was trying to figure out how to say. Probably that she had a big gross snot on her face or something.
"What?" she touched her face, self-conscious.
"Nothing. It's nothing." He exhaled and went to the fridge, pouring himself a glass of water. She tried not to be too obvious about watching the way his crop top pulled upward as he drank, exposing his toned abs. He downed the glass and placed it into her sparkling clean sink.
"Well, you look very handsome!" God, what was she even saying! She sounded like Aunt Casta right now.
"You too. I mean, you look beautiful."
Glimmer laughed and gestured to her rags. "OK, well, you are very sweet but we both know THAT is a lie."
"It's not. I mean it. You always look good." She looked over at him and he was doing that thing he did something where he looked at her and it was almost... too much. Too easy to pretend that was open adoration and love in his eyes and not just the cheerful way Bow probably looked at everyone.
"Anyway, I'm sure your date was very impressed. If you don't go out with him again, you're going to break his heart." What was she even saying? Normally talking to Bow was the easiest thing in the world, but everything felt weird and charged tonight like if she stopped babbling for a second she'd just start sobbing. "Are you going to have a second date?"
"I don't know." He ran his fingers over the now perfectly clean oven knobs. "The place looks amazing! Were you cleaning this entire time? You didn't have to do that!"
"I know I just… felt like it."
Bow furrowed his brow a little. "Did you… was there any special reason?"
"Oh, I, uh…" Panic, cold and sudden clenched her insides that somehow he knew. That he could see right through her and knew about her utterly insane plan. That now she'd tipped her hand, and he knew how she felt and he was going to tell her he didn't feel that way about her and it was going to fuck up absolutely everything. "I… was thinking of maybe having someone over this weekend."
"Someone over?" Bow leaned against the counter, his fingers drumming against the edge. "You mean like… a date?"
"Yeah. Exactly." What the fuck was she saying? She didn't have a date. But her mouth was apparently going full speed ahead. "Someone I met… online. Is that OK?"
"Oh." Bow rubbed the back of his neck, staring at the floor like he was counting the dots in the pattern in the vinyl flooring. "I mean, if you want to, of course. I just didn't realize you were…" He exhaled and pushed off the counter. "Look, Glimmer. The thing is, you… that is, I, I guess… Oh, boy."
"What? What is it?" Glimmer froze, rooted to the spot by the intensity of his gaze.
"It's, um… well. There's something I've been wanting to say. Something I should have said a long time ago, and I didn't for… stupid reasons but tonight just clarified… everything and…"
He bit his lip and then seemed to decide something. He reached out and took her hands, and she could only stand there on the line between excitement and panic. This had happened before. These moments when everything felt heavy and important, like they were teetering on the verge of… something. Where one or the other of them came almost to the edge before chickening out and heading back to solid ground. But maybe this time—
She startled and swore as her phone almost vibrated itself off the counter-top next to her. God, that scared the shit out of her. They both laughed. "Sorry! Let me just—"
"It's fine." Bow released her hands, and she grabbed her phone. Her mother. Of course it was. She ignored the call and set the phone back down.
"OK, so, what were you saying?"
"Do you need to take that? Because if it's something important…"
"No, it's just my mom. Please, continue."
But the moment was broken. She could see it in his eyes. "Maybe you should call your mom back. Tell her what you decided. You can't keep avoiding her forever."
"Oh yeah? Just watch me." She turned away from him, grabbing his glass out of the sink and moving it to the dishwasher for something to do.
"Glimmer, you have the right to set boundaries. And if I really thought you wanted to cut your mom out of your life for good, I would support you in that completely, you know that. But we both know that's not what you want. Maybe if you just talked to her—"
"Yeah, well, my mom has never been particularly interested in what I want." Her hands were shaking and she honestly couldn't tell if it was because of this conversation or the other one they'd almost had before her mom had butted in and ruined that, too.
"I won't tell you what to do. But I want you to know that you're the most amazing person I have ever met. You're brave and smart and strong and you can do whatever you put your mind to and I love… that about you. I'm sorry your mom doesn't see how wonderful you are, but that's her loss. You can do whatever you want, Glimmer, and you don't need her approval to do it. And whatever you decide, you don't have to do it alone."
"Thanks." She had to look away. Bow was doing that thing he did, the thing where he got really intense and it was way too easy to tell herself he was in love with her and not just being a good hype man like he was for all his friends. And she appreciated what he was saying, and she knew he meant it in a super supportive best friend way.
But, right now, it just… wasn't enough.
Etheria
"Let's go over it, one more time." Her husband had been pacing the non-runed portion of the room since they'd come back from dinner. Normally Bow'd be stress cleaning, but her magic paraphernalia freaked him out too much to go anywhere near it. Which was good because she'd arranged it specifically so she could grab the right book quickly in case of emergency and she didn't want him messing it up. "So it has to be tomorrow night?"
"Yes because, outside of today, it's the only time the moons are in the right position." Glimmer hesitated, still not sure that one rune looked right and then continued her — four thousandth? It certainly felt like that many! — check of the circle. "So the whole thing shouldn't last more than a few minutes. The circle boosts my natural powers, I hop on over, take a peek around, come right back."
Bow rubbed his face. "You make it sound so simple like you aren't planning on jumping blindly into a completely different dimension."
"Not completely blind. We know it's breathable, atmospherically similar to here, habitable climate. Come on, don't give me that face, you're the one who figured all that out!"
"I know. I know! It's just completely terrifying. Because what if I'm wrong?"
"This why we are being careful!" She gestured to the relevant part of the spell on the ground, not that the symbols would mean anything to Bow. "See? Even if I get knocked unconscious or something, the spell will pull me right back here in half a minute. Easy! I survived at least that long in open space with nothing at all, remember?" She grinned at him, but he wasn't in a joking mood.
"Yeah, but this time I won't be there to catch you." He looked so worried she went over and took his hands.
"I poof in. I take a quick look around, make sure it's safe, see if my mom is really there, and I poof back. That's it!" She leaned upwards, touching her nose to his. "Then I jump back into the arms of my stressed husband and he can shower me with kisses."
"What about the other thing you said could happen? The exchange of mass or whatever. The thing where something else from that dimension might get pulled through when you go?"
"Well, yeah, there's a chance that could happen. But, hopefully, it'll just be my mom! And you can be like, 'Hi Queen Angella! It's me, that boy you always liked? Anyway, yeah, I married your daughter and we've got a plan to get you unstranded from that dimension so hold tight!' Although… should we open with the married thing? Maybe we shouldn't tell her anything until—"
"Hold on. But what if it's not your mom? What if it's a horrifying monster?"
"I mean, depending on the day, MY MOM could kind of be a—" Gods, he was really NOT in the mood for jokes today. "Look, I'll tell you what. I'll put a binding spell on the circle so if anything comes through it'll just stay nicely trapped there until we trade back. I can do that right now if it will make you feel better."
"No, you've done enough for today. Come on. It's late." He linking his arm around her waist. "You, your majesty, are going to bed."
"Bed, hmm?" She drew the rune for the door, and they passed into the main hallway. As they closed it behind them, the wall smoothed over, the entrance gone again. She linked her arm around his waist, resting her hand maybe a little lower than was strictly necessary. "What's my incentive?"
"That we have that big meeting with the allied clone loyalists tomorrow and you still haven't finished prepping." He leaned over and nipped her neck. "But I suppose I could devise an additional incentive."
"Ughhhhh, that's tomorrow?" Gods, she'd been so wrapped up in getting this spell right she'd completely forgotten to dread what was sure to be a total diplomacy debacle.
Bow laughed. "Sorry! But it's going to be a pretty huge deal. While you've been in here all week, the NewsVids have been going nuts over it. Have you figured out what you're going to do about that yet?"
"Ugh. What I WANT to do is tell them this whole thing is stupid and they should go fuck themselves." She exhaled, trying to shift into queen mode. "But it's a delicate situation and… I don't know. I'm not sure yet." There'd been a catastrophic PR failure a few months ago with the clones and the last thing she wanted was a repeat of that. Sometimes being a queen felt like walking such a thin line she wasn't pleasing anybody, least of all herself. "Tell, me, Bow. Am I losing my edge?"
"Never." He squeezed her a little closer, and it pushed out the last of her doubts.
She could handle it. She could handle anything. All those horrible years of suffering and war and now? She leaned into Bow as they rounded the corner, guards bowing and your majesties-ing them as they passed.
Her life was pretty great.
There was only one thing missing.
And tomorrow? She was going to fix that, too.
Earth
"So, it's not that late yet. Do you wanna watch a movie or something?"
The happy, hopeful look on Bow's face was so hard to refuse. Because she wanted to watch a movie. She really really did. Not because of the movie itself, but because it meant cuddling on the couch and snuggling under a blanket and pretending. But lying to herself hurt too much tonight.
"Actually, I'm in a weird mood. I think I'm going to go to bed before I do something crazy like try to cut my hair again."
"Oh. OK." He looked so crestfallen and cute, and all she wanted to do was collapse into his arms and sob. There was no one else in the world who understood her like he did, who knew exactly when it was time for words and we she just wanted to be held. Who treated her like a queen when she was just some girl who's life was broken beyond repair. "Well, see you tomorrow."
She nodded and turned, heading for the bathroom. But she paused at the doorway, the curiosity too much for her.
"What were you going to say before?" Her voice was shaking, and she focused on the cracked paint on the door trim, not trusting herself to look at him. "Before my mom called."
"Oh, um… Just that… I'm here. For you. And I'm not going anywhere. Ever. OK?" He put a hand on her shoulder and she turned, plastering a smile she didn't feel on her face as she nodded. Of course, that had been all he was going to say. What else had she been expecting? "And someday if you're… Or even if you don't, I'll still… Anyway, that was it. Mostly."
"OK." I love you. I love you. You're this wonderful, adorable, friendly dork, and sometimes it feels like I have been in love with you our entire lives. And if you could just please love me back, that might make all of THIS at least a little easier. But all she said out loud was, "Goodnight."
It was all too much. She couldn't handle it. She didn't even bother to put on pajamas, just collapsed onto her bed in what she was wearing, listening to the sounds of Bow getting ready for bed in the room next door. Glimmer pushed her face into the pillow, trying to muffle the sound of her sobs.
Her life was a disaster.
There was only one thing right.
And she was terrified of wrecking that too.
