"Dude, what is it?" A soldier clad in blue armour asks.

"I don't fucking know, we just found it for crying out loud." A soldier in cobalt armour complains.

"Come on, Church. Can't you hazard a guess?" The blue soldier asks.

"You can't fucking say that when you can't even figure out what it is either!" Church complains to his comrade.

"What do we do?" The blue soldier asks.

"I dunno, TUCKER. Lets just take it to Captain Flowers." Church says.

Currently, the two blue soldiers were looking at a purple ball shaped object that had appeared just a little ways away from their base. It wasn't there yesterday, as Tucker would recall. This was the route to his "rock".

"What if its just a piece of space junk?" Tucker asks.

"If you thought that, then why bother bringing me over to look at it!" Church yells. "When a rock suddenly appears someplace where it wasn't yesterday, is that a cause for alarm!"

"Uh, yeah I'd think so when the reds live not too far away from us." Tucker counters.

"Fuck, thats actually a good point." Church concedes. Tucker then picks up the object.

"What if it some new grenade?" Tucker asks.

"If it is, I'm thankful for all the future conversations it'll be saving me from in a few moments." Church mutters.

"Fuck you too, dude." Tucker retorts. The object let off a low hum while slightly glowing blue.

"Still think we should take it to Captain Flowers?" Church asks. As soon as he finishes, the two are engulfed in a bright light. As it disappears, so do they.

"Men!" Another soldier shouts. This one a greenish-blue. He looks around for a bit before sighing to himself. "Those little rascals. Always running off. Well, I'm gonna take a nap and hope they come back when I wake up.


Today was the best day of her life!

Kaede has just made a new friend today, bringing her total up to two! While this was nothing to brag about for a normal ten year old, for Kaede it mean't a lot considering she didn't have any friends last week. She had just introduced her new friend to her first friend, a dog she found a few days ago. She agreed to give some of her lunch along with Kaede's to feed the puppy. Finally, after all this time... she thought.

She sat at the hill were the puppy and her first met, petting the creature as she thought about her wonderful day. As this was happening, a bright light coming from the forest brought her out of her thoughts. She was forced to shield her eyes until the brightness died down. As it did, the forest looked normal again.

She sat, puppy still in her arms, debating whether or not to check it out, or run away scared. Eventually, her curiosity won the day as she placed the puppy on the ground as she got up and slowly began making her way into the forest. Before she could get very far she felt something up against her leg. Looking down, she saw the puppy standing beside her.

"Are you sure you want to come? It could be dangerous." Kaede asked. Her companion barked his answer. He was coming. Kaede smiled at her friend before continuing on.

Making her way into the forest, she heard what sounded like two men bickering. Moving onward, she eventually found the two men in what looked like futuristic armour making all the noise.

"Thats what happens when you hold onto a fucking grenade!" The one in a light blue yells.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it dude." The darker blue one sighs.

"Now, we're fucking dead." The light blue one sighs.

"Man, if I knew my time was so short, I would have banged more." The dark blue one comments.

"Thats all you can think about!" The light blue one exclaims. "Actually, with you I shouldn't be surprised."

Kaede giggled slightly. At first she thought these were just more bad people, but watching them they were actually pretty funny.


"Church, Unlike you, I had goals for the future." Tucker counters.

"Tucker, "Getting laid" is the only goal you have in mind for the future." Church says. "Although, for you it is a big challenge for you."

"I've had sex before." Tucker interjects.

"And just like all the stories, I don't believe them." Church sighs. The two then hear light giggling coming not to far away. Looking to the source, the two spy a small girl hiding behind a tree wearing a plain white shirt with a red skirt. She had chin length pink hair, red eyes, and some strange white head decoration. She was also accompanied by a dog. She then noticed that the two soldiers had found her and tried moving out of the soldiers view by hiding further behind the tree.

"Come out, we won't hurt you." Tucker said, dropping onto one of his knees to less intimidating. The girl, slowly but surely came out of her hiding place. The two could then better see that the white things were actually horns growing out of her head.

"Great. No angels to greet us. Only a devil. Thats a swell sign." Church mutters to himself. This comment seems to make the girl saddened.

"Sorry about my... colleague here." Tucker apologizes. "I think those things are pretty cool. I'm Tucker, you can call him Assface." He said, referring to Church.

"Hello. I'm Kaede." The girl greets.

"So? Is this the afterlife?" Tucker asks.

"No." Kaede responds. 'but its pretty close to hell.' she thinks.

"Yeah, listen sorry for the rude comment little girl, but where the hell are we?" Church asks in an almost impatient manner.

"We're just a little ways away from the orphanage I live in." Kaede explains.

"We aren't dead! That was some sort of teleportation device!" Church exclaims.

"Gee, way to state the obvious." Tucker grumbles.

"Hey, up yours asshole. Where is it?" Church demands. Tucker checks his hand, only to find it not there.

"Shit. I think I dropped it." Tucker says.

"God damn it!" Church curses.

"I think you should go home kid. Things are gonna get rough real soon." Tucker says. With that Kaede nods and heads off. As she does so, she thinks of bringing her new friend here to see the weirdos. Hopefully she would find them funny too.

"Damn! How we gonna explain this to Flowers if we can't get back!" Church exclaims.

"If we can't get back, then we won't have to explain anything." Tucker counters. Church groans before sliding down a tree.

"I'm going to sleep." He simply says.

"Really! After you were just complaining about getting back, you decide to take a nap." Tucker complains.

"Tucker, we're gonna have more luck finding this thing in the morning when theres light out." Church explains.

"Good point." Tucker admits. He sits up against a tree and like Church, dozes off.


The next morning, Church wakes up to find Tucker missing. It wasn't usual for the lazy fucker to be up early.

"Damn it. If he found the device and left me behind, I'm gonna smash him with that rock he likes so much." He complains as he searches for his teammate.

Eventually he finds the orphanage Kaede was talking about... along with Tucker peeping in its windows.

"This is quite a new low Tucker." He says upon walking up to him. "You finally giving into some kind of pedophilia fetish?"

"Fuck you dude. I'm not looking for the kids, I'm looking for the caretakers. I bet one of em's hot." Tucker explains.

"You and your one track mind." Church muses. Tucker turns to face him.

"Well, this one track mind is gonna get laid." Tucker counters. The two begin to argue again as certain events take place though the window Tucker was just looking through.

"Yeah, like a hottie just gonna lay down with a dumbass who peeps in through orphanage windows." Church says.

"I told you, I'm not looking at the kids." Tucker says.

"I'm sure everyone is relived." Church sarcastically remarks.

"We'll go after I get a good look at who runs this place. We can then ask them where we are so we know how to get back to Blood Gulch incase we don't find that teleporter ball. And if its a hot chick, we ask them for her number." Tucker says.

"Wow. An actually good idea." Church says.

"Yeah. If you quit bitching every once in awhile, you might be surprised what you can do." Tucker says as he turns back to the window just in time to see a boy beating Kaede's dog with a vase. Another boy held the dog down while a girl watched the carnage. Yet another boy was there, restraining Kaede as she watched in horror. "What the hell!" Tucker exclaims.

"Thats fucked up." Church adds.

"Fuck this." Tucker says before punching through the window, shattering the glass.

As the boy was beating the dog, he heard the sound of glass shattering. Turning to the windows, he watches as a blue armoured man steps through the now shattered glass.

"The fuck do you think you're doing!" He yells at him. The bullies, gripped by fear, drop everything and run like hell. The one holding Kaede, throws her to the ground before booking it himself. "Are you okay?" Tucker asks the girl. She quickly nods before rushing off to her injured friend.

"Please be okay." She squeaks as tears run down her face, but its too late. The poor puppy has bled to death.

"Look... um... I'm sorry kid." Church tries to console. He wasn't very food with kids, fortunately, Kaede isn't paying attention.

"Would like to bury him?" Tucker asks. Kaede silently nods. With that, Tucker picks up the now lifeless animal.

"This way!" They hear down the hall of the orphanage. "It just smashed through the window!"

"Tucker! We need to hurry on out of here!" Church hisses.

"Yeah." Tucker agrees. With that, the two along with Kaede leave out the way they came.


The three quickly made their way back to the hill where Tucker and Church dug the hole while Kaede lowered the dog in. Once finished, Kaede made a headstone with some surrounding rocks.

As Kaede took some time alone, Church and Tucker went back into the forest to search for their missing teleportation device.

"So much for asking directions." Church mutters as he searches.

"Its gotta be around here. If not then Flowers will notice we're gone and come looking for us." Tucker assures.

"Tucker there are lots of Colony's in the UNSC. Thats could take awhile." Church says.

"Well, a lot of those Colony's were wiped out by aliens, so that narrows it down." Tucker brings up.

"Yeah. What a relief." Church sarcastically says. Tucker looks out towards Kaede who seems to be talking with a boy. Not one of the bullies, though. "Why go out of your way to help her? I'm not being an ass, I know what those little fuckers were doing was wrong, but why smash our only chance of possibly getting back to Blood Gulch?" Church questions.

"Dude, Why are you so eager to get back to Blood Gulch?" Tucker questions.

"I'm not. I'm eager to not be a hobo on some planet we don't even know of." Church answers. "In case you forgot, we don't have out wallets with us."

"No, I do. I just don't have any money." Tucker adds.

"Should have expected that." Church mutters.

The next day, it rained. Church and Tucker had called of their search to find some shelter... and food. Luckily, there was a newly opened bakery in a town nearby that the soldiers stole some cut bread crusts from. They took their meal to a small cave and ate it there.

"Man, this sucks." Tucker complains as he reaches in the bag for another crust.

"Oh, boo hoo, you're not starving. Just give the rest to me then." Church says as he rips the bag away. Tucker attempts to get it back which results in the two wrestling each other for it.

The next day it was sunny again, so the search continued. As it went on, Church overheard the boy from a few days ago invite Kaede to the zoo. 'At least the kids getting better.' He thought as continued the search.

At the end of the day, they scoured the entire forest and didn't find the purple ball.

"Great! We're fucking stuck here now!" Church exclaims.

"Chill out dude. Flowers is bound to notice we're gone by now." Tucker assures.

"Well, with that guy, you never know. He probably thinks we went on some long term recon mission and forgot to tell him." Church says.

"Well, on the bright side if we do make it back, we know what to tell him we were doing." Tucker responds.

"Hello Tucker!" A little girls voice greets. Tucker whirls around to see Kaede looking at the two of them. She was wearing a hat with her usual attire.

"Hey, Kaede! How was your day today!" Tucker exclaims upon seeing the girl.

"Really good! A few days ago, I met this boy named Kouta and he's really nice!" Kaede exclaims with joy.

"Awesome!" Tucker high fives with Kaede. As he steps back he hears a crunch sound. Looking to his boot, he finds the remains of teleportation ball on his foot. "Aw, fuck-berries." He curses. However, another blinding light engulfs the three. After it passes, they're gone.


"Whoa! We're back!" Tucker exclaims.

"And I forgot how fucking hot it is here." Church immediately complains.

"Where is this?" They both here. Looking behind themselves, they see Kaede has joined them for the trip.

"Oh no." Church sighs.