Author's Note
This story is a sequel to Total Drama Genesis. However, you do not have to read that story to follow or understand this story nor will it spoil the original.
The sound of rainfall echoed.
It beat down on everyone and everything, drumming its secret rhythm. Even in the densest part of the jungle, the rain was everywhere.
A large shadow ran by in the distance. The roar of a jaguar was heard seconds later. Little green tree frogs hopped from branch to branch. One tree frog nearly jumped on a dangling sloth.
The sloth barely reacted. Slowly it stirred. It reached for another leave, then returned to its living sleep. It remained undeterred at other noises; howls, croaks, growls, cries, and caws, contributing their own part to the rainstorm orchestra.
The cameraman moved slowly. So distracted, he almost tripped on an overgrown root. He tried to grab a vine to steady himself...but it wasn't a vine. The emerald anaconda hissed. She and her twenty-foot long body retracted up to the treetops. A glimpse of the still digesting prey in the anaconda's body was caught, a bulge the size of a human head. The bulge stirred slightly before the snake slithered out of sight.
Cautiously, the cameraman stepped back before turning away. He ran out of the jungle. The sound of rain started to be drowned out by rushing water. It was the world's largest river; The Amazon.
There was a squeaking. A humongous rodent stopped nibbling on plants growing from the bank's edge and wobbled off back into the jungle. At the other end, miles across the way, a tapir took a drink from the river. But it was too close to the edge, falling in. In minutes piranhas tore into its body, but left as a black caiman surfaced. Taking the carcass into his jaws, he submerged back into the water slowly.
The cameraman turned; behind him a bush was being chopped apart by a machete. A woman stepped out. She smiled. She was dressed like an old-time adventurer, wearing tan garments and a vest with plenty of pockets. Her brunette hair was done in a ponytail, with a pith helmet or safari hat on her head. Binoculars hung around her neck.
She held out her hand, pointing across the river to a canoe. A young blonde man dressed like an aviator rowed the boat. Beside him, a short redhead dressed in a wide-brimmed fedora and a leather jacket sat idly.
The boat reached the shore and the woman stepped at the helm. She smiled at the camera once more.
"Are you ready for an adventure?"
The cameraman hesitated, before joining her in the canoe. He sat across from her as she winked. Together they rowed down the river, deeper into the jungle. The rain continued to pour.
"I'm your hostess Rhonda," she explained. "Joining me are my two co-hosts Jenny and Toby. Last time, twenty-two teens battled it out for two million dollars in America's capital. But now…"
She held out her arms, as if presenting the entire jungle.
"We decided to go someplace a little different," Rhonda said, pinching her fingers a bit. "Welcome to the largest rainforest in the world! Welcome to... Total Drama: Lost in the Amazon."
/
In Brazil, where the outskirts of the Amazon meets the outskirts of the nearest city, there was a remote airport. It was reserved for smaller planes, most days only transporting cargo. That day was different.
A handful of travelers had already arrived on various flights, waiting for others. A little red plane docked, transporting chickens. Stepping onto the runway was it's only human passenger.
She was a young, Hispanic woman, with caramel eyes and brunette hair in a single braid. She wore an orange dress, looking part evening wear and part flapper costume, that showed off her long legs.
The young woman pushed her way to the front of airport, which was just a raised garage door. She opened her arms as wide as possible while sighing.
"Oh! I'm here!" she exclaimed. "I made it safe and sound. But...where...oh where am I?"
She raised her hand to her forehead and swooned. The worker behind her tapped his foot. She forced a smile before strutting inside.
Fold-out chairs were set out for the passengers. A bearded janitor mopped the floor, though there wasn't a spill.
The new arrival sighed, scanning the area until she found it. In the back right corner, next to the water cooler, was a little table with a coffee pot and paper cups. She sashayed over and poured herself a cup, adding three sugars.
As she drank, she stared out the window at the airfield. The jungle was close, but seemed distant from across the concrete.
"I don't believe I'm in New York anymore," she said. "Where am I? Where did I go when I decided to pack up my bags and leave! Where, oh where-"
"-Brazil."
"Hmmm."
The woman turned to see a young man of Indian descent sitting there, looking out the window as well. The young man, like the hosts he had yet to meet, was dressed in adventurer garb; his beige shirt open and exposing his chest. His only luggage was a maroon backpack over one shoulder.
He was knitting a scarf while sipping on black coffee. He stood, taking off his fedora and held out his hand. The woman smiled and shook it.
"Cecilia."
"Montana," he replied. "I didn't mean to interrupt your conversation with yourself."
"It's called monologuing," Cecilia retorted. "Are you sure we're in Brazil, Mr...Montana?"
The man nodded. "I should know; I flew myself here. I have my own biplane"
"My, my," Cecilia cooed. "Perhaps I should have flown with you, you mysterious yet intimate man. Are you here for the show as well?"
Montana nodded, returning to his needlework. He patted the seat next to him, which Cecilia took.
"That was the plan," Montana stated. "but I haven't heard anything more than 'wait for more instructions' since I got here. That was two hours ago. Just sitting around being bored...till a tall drink like you walked in."
Cecilia laughed. "I bet you say that to all the above average height, perspiring girls you meet."
"Maybe," Montana added with a wink.
He turned back to the window, his knee bouncing. "I'm debating about just hoping in my plane and taking off."
"Really?"
"I don't like wasting my time," Montana said. "I could be in Bangladesh or Madeira or Kokomo by now. Doing something."
Montana turned to her again. He smirked. "You know I could fit two to a seat in my plane. Care to come with?"
"Tempting…" Cecilia replied, "...but I have my reasons for being here."
"Oh yeah? What?"
Cecilia didn't respond. She sipped her coffee, staring out the window once again.
/
In the far left corner, a short blonde boy sat tucked away reading Shakespeare's Tempest. He wore a sweater vest with a preparatory school uniform, black and green colors. He seemed to be reaching the end of the book.
"Hey, um pardon me…"
The boy looked up to see a brunette girl in blue smiling at him. She pushed up the oval glasses on her freckled face. "I hope you don't mind, but the airfield is kind of noisy. I was hoping to sit somewhere quieter, and I noticed you were reading here comfortably. Do you mind if I join you?"
The boy shrugged. "Help yourself."
The girl beamed and unfolded a chair next to him. Taking a copy of Harry Potter out of her bag, she sighed and started reading. The blonde boy turned back to his book…
"I'm Plath by the way."
"Brantley."
Plath pulled out a mason jar from a duffel bag. She held it out and shook it in front of Brantley. "Sweet tea? I promise it's fresh; brewed it this morning."
"...I'll pass," Brantley replied.
Plath nodded. She took a swig and sighed in relief. Brantley rolled his eyes and turned the opposite direction. They both started to read their books...for a moment.
"It's crazy to be here, you know?" Plath said. "On a whole other continent? The most exotic place I've been to is the Coke Museum in Atlanta. And we're on TV too! I still can't believe I signed up for-"
"-Didn't you move here for the quiet?" Brantley asked.
"...Sorry."
Brantley forced a smile. "Forgive me. I just recently got a headache. Very recently."
"Ha ha, I guess I'm just kind of nervous," Plath said with forced laugh. "Really nervous."
"Could've fooled me."
"Like I said, this is totally out of my norm," Plath continued. "I just have to remind myself that everyone is equally nervous. I'm sure you're nervous too."
"Not in the slightest," Brantley replied.
"Oh."
/
Emerging from the newest plane was a tall, spray-tanned guy in black leather pants. He swaggered in, flashing a smile as he removed his airpods. The first thing he did was throw off his white tank top.
"That's right! The Circumstance has arrived! Whose ready?"
...
After a minute, Brantley yawned.
The new arrival frowned. "I'll come back after you compose yourself."
Grabbing his luggage, but leaving his shirt, he slunk off to the side. Sitting nearby was a brunette man, dressed a little too warmly for the weather. He was of First Nation descent and wore a maple red shirt that read 'Tim Hortons'.
"Guess everybody's got jet lag, huh?"
"Huh?"
The Jersey boy snapped his fingers. "I'm talking to you Einstein. Anyone home?"
"Sorry, eh. I was spacing out. I don't think we've met. I'm-"
"-Giovanni," the spray tan man said. "Jersey represent! I also go by my Soundcloud DJ name, Rocket Power Hour. Totally should hit it up for some killer remixes man."
"...Norris. Nice to meet ya."
"So what's the deal dude?" Giovanni asked. "Why does everybody suck so far?"
"I take it that not enough people are here, eh," Norris replied. "Not much mingling. A few folks went outside too. We're all just waiting in a queue."
"Dude, what's with the accent?"
Norris blushed. "Was it that obvious? I was trying to play it down, eh."
"There's no playing down that, eh," Giovanni laughed. "What are you, North Mexican?"
"I'm Canuck," Norris stated. "So what?"
"Canuck! Oh my god that's classic…"
Norris grabbed Giovanni by his gold necklace and hoisted him up. "I'm not afraid of having a donnybrook ya know. Us Canucks aren't always as friendly as ya might think…"
"Woah," Giovanni said. "You lift?"
Norris pouted. "Seriously? Not even a little intimidated."
"You got a baby face man. But I could use a squatter when we get to this hotel's gym. What's your ab count?"
"Uhhh…"
/
Outside, a lanky teen napped against a shady tree. He didn't stir in his sleep, but his large, brunette afro occasionally shook.
"Wow…"
The boy slowly opened his eyes...to see a large, hairy Asian guy standing over him, watching him intently. The hairy guy dressed in a Bohemian style, with the silhouette of a sea-turtle on his bright green shirt.
"What the-"
"Shhh…"
The observer placed a finger over the other boy's lips. The afro started to shimmy and shake until finally…
Crack.
From inside the afro came newborn chirping. A red-orange bellied bird descended from the tree and flew into the fro.
"Not again," the lanky teen sighed.
"Again?" The birdwatcher asked. He spoke with a slight Cuban accent. "How often does this happen?"
"There's a reason I don't usually go outside...well this and how easily I burn. Also, who are you?"
"Luis," the gentle giant whispered.
"Zane. So, how long have you been watching me sle-"
"Shh, listen…"
The birds began chirping a sweet melody from inside Zane's fro.
"I thought so," Luis sighed. "Rufous-bellied thrush."
From his back pocket, Luis pulled a pamphlet; A Guide To Birdwatching In Brazil. "I've always wanted to go birdwatching! I bought this off a worker for twenty bucks and while I was skimming it I saw them, weaving your curls into roost."
"Seriously, how long have you-"
"They're Brazil's national birds," Luis continued. "Rufous-bellied thrushes. Songbirds too! I can't believe I'm actually seeing one, can you?"
"I'm not really seeing it," Zane teased. "Listen, I hate to rain on your parade, but they can't stay."
Luis' face dropped. "Why not?"
"Um...because it's my head?" Zane replied. "I'm kind of using it."
"But they just made a new home," Luis said. "For that baby chick, it's their only home! You're not using your hair that much. I bet bird poop would be a great conditioner if you tried it or…"
"Yeah no," Zane said. "Listen, Luis right? Are you on Total Drama too?"
Luis nodded.
"Have you ever seen it?"
"A few episodes of last season before I left," Luis replied.
"I've seen every episode," Zane replied. "More than once...don't ask me why. Point is, it's tough. It's very physical. These birds aren't going to be safe living in my hair."
"That makes sense," Luis admitted with a sigh.
Zane stretched and stood up. Standing on his tippy-toes, he leaned into the tree's branches and began shaking his head like a shaggy dog. The red-bellied thrushs, along with eggshell remains, twigs, leaves, grass, mushrooms, some spare change, and a slim jim, fell out. The mother thrush responded by flipping him off.
"Did that bird give me the bird?" Zane asked.
Luis watched as the thrushes started to make another nest. Lowering his shirt's neckline, he tore off some of his chest hair and nestled it against the birds. "There you go; nice and cozy."
Zane raised an eyebrow and started to back away slowly.
"Olhe para fora!" a worker cried.
Zane turned to see a tree falling right towards him. He tried to run away, but tripped on an egg shell. For a moment, he blacked out...
"ARGHHHHHHHHH!"
Zane opened his to find himself bridal-style in a bulging, muscular arm.
"Watch out little man! You were almost deader than disco! R.I.P. BEE GEES!"
"Little? I'm six foot…Humna, humna, humna…"
Looking up at his savior, Zane was left speechless. She was a musclebound giantess, even taller than Luis, wearing blood red tights and a giant gold belt. Her wild mane of reddish-brown hair flowed in the wind. Using one hand, she effortlessly held up the falling tree.
To most, she would seem intimidating. But in Zane's eyes, little cupids with little afros surrounded her.
"You..you're so...smell like meat...wait, I mean-"
The giantess gave a hearty laugh. She pushed the tree aside like a house of cards. "HECK YEAH I DO! THAT'S THE HAM'S NATURAL MUSK!"
Luis, finally looking away from the trushes, scratched his head. "The Ham?"
"That's what they call me...IN THE RING!" the wrestler shouted. "OH YEAH!"
"Why do they call you that?" Luis asked.
"Because my victories are just as savory," The Ham replied. "And also go amazing with brown sugar!"
"Your muscles...pretty…" Zane mumbled.
"Yeah, and you have great nesting hair," Luis added.
"THE HAM GETS THAT A LOT," she yelled. "Now you two kiddos need to be careful, before another tree murders you...to death! Then you wouldn't get to compete."
"Tree?" Luis asked. "What tree are you-oh my gosh there's a chopped down tree! Did you guys see that?"
"I guess it'd be good luck if we got out, huh?" Zane joked.
The Ham did not laugh. "It would be terrible. I want to win, but not like that. The Ham wants a fight."
With that, the wrestler plopped her new lanky admirer on the ground and waved the boys goodbye.
Zane sighed to himself. "The Ham...isn't that just the most beautiful name you've ever heard?"
Luis shrugged. "If you like thinking of sandwiches or dead pigs. Seriously though, when did that tree fall?"
/
"Done," Path sighed as she closed her book.
"Finished already?" Brantley asked.
"I was almost done anyway," Plath admitted. "And I've read the series about a hundred times."
"Only a hundred?"
"Maybe a little more," Plath giggled. "Harry Potter's been my favorite book series since I was a kid. Of course I am a Ravenclaw! Although I was a point away from being a Hufflepuff. So I guess I'm a Ravenpuff?"
"Am I...supposed to know what that means?" Brantley asked.
Plath gasped. "You mean, you haven't read Harry Potter?"
"I've been busy," Brantley stated.
"But you give off such Slytherin vibes!" Plath said. "I thought for sure…"
"I don't know what that means and I don't think I want to," Brantley replied. "To be frank, I tried to read the first installment before but the author's style was…less than adequate."
"Really?"
"I particularly detested her use of adverbs with the past participles in her dialogue," Brantley stated bluntly. "Simply using 'said' is enough."
"I don't know if I can argue against that," Plath admitted. "But I think the story and characters are strong enough. I'd love to read what you suggest though. Maybe we can trade books during the show."
"If we make it that far," Brantley said.
Plath forced a laugh. "Yeah...I guess-"
Plath was interrupted by hollering. Seven girls, all wearing navy cheerleaders uniforms that had the letter F embolden in a heart, ran into the airport.
"They didn't actually cast a cheer squad did they?" Plath asked.
"Must be trying to compete with Sunday night football," Brantley remarked. "Sex sells after all."
"All right girls, let's hit!"
The cheerleaders started waving their pom-poms and chanting. "2, 4, 6, 8, Flynn is really great! Flynn for the win!"
"Cooler than ice!"
"Dresses so nice!"
"Oh so handsome!"
"Worth a king's ransom!"
"F-L-Y-N-N! Flynn for the win!"
"Yeah!"
As the cheerleaders raved, the newest contestant strolled in. With jet black hair and an expensive, sleeveless navy blue hoodie, he gave a soft smile. As his pep squad finished their routine, they struck a pose and pointed all their pom-poms at him.
"What a show-off," Giovanni muttered.
Flynn winked at a tall girl leaning against a pole, her face buried in a newspaper. She didn't respond. He pouted, but strolled over to Plath and Brantley while his cheerleaders carried his luggage.
"S'up, I'm Flynn."
"Never would have guessed," Brantley stated, not looking up from his book.
"Are you all contestants?" Plath asked.
"Nah, just me," Flynn said. "This is my fan club."
"You brought your fan club?"
"They just kind of...tagged along."
"We had to support our boo!" one cheerleader cried.
"Especially before he becomes world famous!" another added.
"I promised I wouldn't forget about you Stacey," Flynn said.
"It's Molly."
Flynn shrugged. "Whatever. Point is you know I won't forget you ladies. Especially after that routine; it was totally cool, right?"
"If you find superficial narcissism 'cool'," Brantley replied.
"Do you...not?" Flynn asked. "I guess it was kind of lame...oh god, I hope they cut it out of the final episode."
"Sorry Flynn," one of the cheerleaders pouted. The others hung their heads in shame.
"Wait, are you all dating him?" Plath asked.
"Of course!" a cheerleader replied. "Any member of the Flynn Fanclub mutually dates Flynn...as long as they pay their dues and complete club activities. And are pretty, obviously."
"We're going to form a national chapter after Flynn gets famous," another said. "Maybe an international one. Viewers and contestants can totally join. Only girls though. Sorry blonde guy."
"There go my hopes," Brantley replied.
"And you ladies are all okay with this arrangement?" Plath asked.
"Duh! It's really fun to do this with the others."
"I never really liked other women," a cheerleader admitted. "I only joined the club to date Flynn. But I actually bonded a lot with the other gals!"
"Same," another girl said. "With this club I have a group of strong, supportive women as best friends! All because of one guy!"
The cheerleaders joined in a hug. "Thanks Flynn!"
"You're welcome," he replied.
"How feminist," Plath muttered.
/
Near the entrance, as another airplane arrived, Norris slammed Giovanni's arm down in an arm wrestling match.
"****!" Giovanni swore. "Alright, best 11 out of 13!"
"Really, eh?" Norris asked. "I don't know what you're trying to prove. You're clearly strong en-"
"-If you don't do it, then you forfeit and I win," Giovanni stated.
"Then I forfeit," Norris said.
"YES!" Giovanni stated. "Still the undefeated champ of arm wrestling!"
Suddenly, the door was thrown open. An entourage of young men pushed a luggage cart through. Laying on top of it was a beautiful woman, eyes closed, cooling herself with an old-fashioned, purple, silk folding fan.
Her attendants stopped. She clapped once, and waited as they lifted her up onto her feet. She was a well tanned girl, of some kind of Latino origin. Her light brunette hair was flowing and luxurious. The strangest thing was that she wore nothing but a cyan bikini; the better to highlight her buxom figure.
"Woah," Norris stated.
"Uh, yeah woah," Giovanni added.
She shooed away the staff. Opening her hazel eyes, she noticed the two boys and smirked, strutting over to them. "Olá. Você parece ser um homem perfeito."
"I don't speak Spanish," Giovanni replied.
"Just a common greeting in my native tongue," she replied. "Portuguese. I'm hoping you hunks are here for Total Drama?"
Giovanni clicked his tongue and shot her a finger gun. "Duh babe. I'm the token hot guy; I'm guessing you're the token hot chick."
"There's no guessing," she replied. "It's pretty obvious."
"So you're Portugullian, huh?" Giovanni asked.
"I'm Brazil born o tolo," she replied.
"Nice to know I'm not the only foreigner, eh?" Norris stated.
The Brazilian beauty gritted her teeth. "I was under the impression I was going to be the only foreigner on the show."
"Uh...sorry?" Norris replied.
She forced a smile, batting her eyelashes. "I'll guess I'll forgive you since you're so hunky."
"Hehe," Norris laughed, wiping his forehead. "We didn't, uh, catch your name."
" Abi-Maria Geralda Sandra Kristie Inês Regina," she announced.
"That's...your entire name?" Norris asked.
She nodded. "My fathers wanted to name me after a queen, but couldn't pick between those names. Since I am the queen to end all queens, they named me after all of them. You can call me by my stage name; Mana Somebody."
"Stage name?" Giovanni asked. "What like a singer or somethin'?
"Shauhsuahsauhshua!" she laughed. "I'm an internationally famous bikini model."
Norris gulped. "Ya uh...ya certainly look like you'd be good at it."
Mana Somebody smirked. "Glad to know you aren't blind. To tell you the truth, I have so many from my shoots that I practically wear only bikinis! All the time!"
Norris had to physically close his own jaw.
/
Flynn waited as his cheerleaders brought over a seat, one of the few with cushions. They sighed as Flynn winked at them. He sat down...and the cushion made a squishing, crunching noise. He immediately jumped up. He threw up the cushion to find the seat was crawling with snails.
"Ewwww!"
"OMG!"
"What did you do Stacey?"
"It's Molly."
"Not cool!" Flynn shouted. "This could've ruined my designer hoodie. Who's responsible for this lame joke?"
From behind her newspaper, the tall girl snickered. She tiptoed away, tossing aside her paper cover. She was African American, with curly black hair hidden under a beanie and sported a jean jacket and red-violet leggings.
"I just can't help myself," she laughed. She spoke with some kind of island accent.
She took a seat in a fold-out chair at the opposite side, her luggage already in place like she had been sitting there the whole time.
"Snails in the chair," she laughed to herself. "What a classic."
"Did you know a snail breathes through its foot?"
The tall girl jumped. She turned to see a short blonde girl sitting behind her. She was a mis-matched mess; one ponytail and one braid, lavender overalls over an 80s sweater, and knee high socks with her croc sandals. The short girl stared off into space while twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger.
"How long have you been here?"
The shorter girl shrugged. "I don't remember."
The taller teen narrowed her eyes. "You didn't see anything, understand?"
"I saw lots of stuff," the blonde girl replied. "I saw that guy enter and that girl. I saw a tree almost maim someone. I saw that creepy janitor who keeps taking photos of us when they think we aren't looking. They're doing it right now."
The two girls looked up to see the janitor snapshotting a photo with a pink cellphone. He forced a smile as he ran away with his mop bucket. Off-camera there was a sound of a crash.
"I saw Rio De Janeiro on my flight over," she added. "Did you know that Rio has a 98 foot statue that's struck by lightning several times a year?"
"You talking about Christ The Redeemer?"
"No idea," the short girl replied. "Didn't recognize the guy they sculpted."
"Really?" the tall girl asked. "Who are you anyway?"
"In A Gadda Da Vida," she stated.
"That's your name?"
In A Gadda Da Vida nodded. "Mmmhmm. My parents used to be hippies, so they named after this song they really liked on the radio. It played while they were waiting for the bathroom at a truck stop."
"What do you go by?" the prankster asked.
"In A Gadda Da Vida."
"So everyone calls you that?"
"They usually use Vida for short," the girl replied. "Other people can too if they want I guess."
The taller girl snickered. "I understand the struggle of having weird names."
"What's your name?"
"My name is uh...Octasia," she answered.
"What a weird name," Vida said. "Weird people usually have weird names."
"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black," Octasia replied.
"Did you know pot roast is the national food of Germany?" In A Gadda Da Vida asked. "Specifically Sauerbraten."
Octasia slowly began scooting her chair away as Vida spaced out again.
/
"So there I was, in Idina Menzel's dressing room," Cecilia said, in the middle of a story. "Side note: She's much shorter in person. I was wearing a scullery maid costume and a tube sock. Idina understood, the aloof but personal sweetheart. She was flossing..."
Montana took a long sip of his coffee. "I pegged you as an actress as soon as you walked in."
Cecilia shifted uncomfortably. "I was."
"Was?" Montana asked. "Why not anymore?"
Cecilia shrugged. "What can I say, the stage has gotten...boring. I've always been big, but the roles have gotten small."
Montana shook his head. "You sure have a lot of fond memories of it."
"What about you?" Cecilia asked. "Who is Montana? Why are you sitting here?"
He smirked. "Enjoying the company of course."
Cecilia laughed. "Of course. But why a reality show?"
"I was also under the impression it was exciting," Montana said. "Rumors online said we'd live somewhere wild."
"I hate to disappoint, but I know that's not true," Cecilia replied. "I spoke to a producer myself; we had tea at the Silk Road Cafe at 3 am. He assured me we'd be staying at a five-star hotel."
"Really?" Montana sighed.
Cecilia nodded. "Better to promote some hotel chain or something. I hate to say it, but it might be better if you...dropped out."
Montana shrugged. "At this point I wish could...but I suppose I have my own reasons for staying."
"Like?"
Montana smirked. "You tell me and I'll tell you."
"Touché," Cecilia replied. "Well, I hope you don't die of boredom first."
"I might," Montana sighed. "I just wish something exciting or strange would happen already."
"EXTREME!"
A boy crashed through the airport's skylight and smashed into a table. His parachute deployed moments after.
Montana shrugged. "I'll take it."
Norris was the first to run up to him, trying to check the pulse. "Oh crap! I think he's hurt! Is there a doctor?"
Cecilia leapt up and shoved Norris aside. "Let me see him!"
"You're a doctor?" Norris asked.
"Well I've played a doctor before," Cecilia admitted.
She punched him in the pec. "Hmm, his heart should be in this chest cavity. I believe that's where your spit is also stored…"
Norris looked around the room. "Is there anyone else? Anyone?"
Suddenly, the boy sprung up to his feet. He started dusting himself off as if nothing happened. "That...was...RADICAL! I still can't feel my face. Or legs!"
Mana pouted. "I was under the impression I'd have the most dramatic entrance."
"Are sure you're alright dear?" Cecilia asked.
The African-American boy smiled, revealing his gap tooth. He wore a U.S.A. flag jumpsuit, with a matching helmet. "I've never felt better! I can't feel anything actually."
"What's your name?" Norris asked.
"If we need it for your headstone," Brantley whispered.
"Eddie," the daredevil greeted. "Friends call me Dead Ed though, so you can call me that too."
"I was being facetious…"
Eddie walked away, picking glass shards from his hair. "Lucky there was a skylight. Much easier to crash through than a roof…"
"Didn't you check before you jumped?" Norris asked.
Eddie shrugged. "Nah bruh, takes too much time."
"We could get some first aid for you," Cecilia called out.
"Thanks and all," Eddie replied, "but I saw one of those super tall trees nearby. I want to go climb it, maybe jump off before the party really gets started. Anyone want to join?"
Montana smirked, leaping up. "Sounds like an adventure to me."
"He should clean his ears," Brantley said. "It's a bad idea."
"I don't know," Plath admitted. "It...it kind of sounds fun."
"You're serious?"
"I mean we are somewhere new," Plath said. "For new experiences. When else would we? ...Hey, wait up! I'm coming too!"
"RADICAL!" Eddie said. "Race you dudes there!"
The three ran off out the door.
"Try not to break your necks if you're on my team," Mana stated.
/
Outside, a teenage girl with reddish blonde hair and droopy amber eyes had her back against the wall, her hands stuffed in her dark yellow jacket.
She didn't react as obnoxious hip-hop music started getting louder. A diminutive boy with his pants sagging and cyan hair under his backwards cap strutted over to her. He walked with one arm lower than the other, and his foot draggin. A boombox he was clearly struggling to hold up was blaring music. He heaved as he dropped it.
"S'up girl; name's Quinton," he stated. "My crew calls me Swaggy Q though. Yo fine self can call me anytime."
The girl didn't turn to look at him.
"Is you bustin space pants girl?" Quinton asked. "Cause yo' butt is outta dis world!"
The girl still didn't move.
"Yo, you gots a bandage, girl?" Quinton tried again. "Cause I scraped my knee fallin fo' you!"
After a moment he added, "I did actually scrap my knee. I mean it was cause my shoes are untied, but baby that's hip-hop!"
He lifted his dropping pants, revealing a kitty bandage over his knee.
The girl still didn't react.
"Seriously?" Quinton asked. "Those are some of my best lines! It took me weeks to come up with them."
She yawned and stretched. Looking to her left, she almost fell over at realizing Quinton was there. "What the heck? Is that a gremlin?"
"Yo!" Quinton yelled. "What's wrong? You deaf or something?"
The girl pulled out a hearing aid from her pocket. "I forgot I left this out during the plane ride. Were you saying something kid?"
"Uhh… I just wanted to know your name," Quinton replied.
"Savannah," she replied.
"Ooh, smooth Savannah," Quinton said, holding out the S-sound. "Can I call you Savvy?"
"No," Savannah stated. "Not ever."
"I go by Swaggy Q."
"You shouldn't," Savannah replied.
"I just wanted to know if you're a book," Quinton said. "Because you got fine print written all over you!"
"...And I'm taking out my hearing aid again," Savannah stated, walking away.
Quinton shook his head. "Some people just can't handle the thug life."
He confidently strode away...only to trip and fall. "Oww I tripped on my shoelaces and scraped my knee again!"
/
Another plane arrived.
Skipping down the steps was a short African-American girl, the shortest contestant this season, dressed in all pink rain gear. She hopped over to workers unloading cargo, including her pink luggage. But she wasn't alone.
Exiting the plane behind her was a mild-mannered man. The Hispanic young man was muscular and broad-shouldered, so much that his gray suit was tight on him; with his matching hat he looked like a reporter from the forties or fifties. He carried a briefcase. He pushed up his thick glasses as he marched down the steps.
"Pardon me miss," he said. "Did you lose your parents?"
The first arrival didn't turn around. "No; did you lose yours?"
The man stepped back. "Um...no. Where are your folks then?"
"At home," she replied. "Probably watching Hot In Cleveland reruns or something."
"Aren't you a little young to be on your own?" he asked.
"I'm sixteen," she stated.
"Oh. My apologies miss, I didn't mean to offend-"
"You weren't," she replied, "just annoying me."
"What's your name?"
"Dolly."
"I'm Tim Tennison."
"I didn't ask."
Dolly turned to look at him. "What's in the briefcase?"
"Oh nothing," Tim replied. "Not a single thing. Nothing at all."
Dolly raised an eyebrow. "Then why are you carrying it?"
"Oh," Tim replied. "I mean, it has clothes, my toothbrush. That kind of normal, average stuff."
"That's all your luggage?" Dolly asked.
"I had...other cargo," Tim said. "It was transported separately. Must have gotten misplaced or something. No idea where it is."
Dolly raised an eyebrow. "Sounds fake, but okay."
/
"Suit, tie, briefcase...that's got to be some kind of government agent!"
From nearby bushes, a stranger watched the newest arrivals. He was a tall, dark-skinned guy wearing a trench coat over his otherwise all black clothing and a tinfoil fedora. Huge bags hung under his eyes, a clear sign of lacking sleep. He was taking notes in a sketchpad.
"A teen government spy," he whispered to himself. "They're recruiting younger...or they raised him as an agent. He was probably born from a business baby test tube! Gave him baby stationary and everything. Who knows what genes they used; I can see some Nixon and Taft for sure. Of course the government would create human child farms...is there no end to their evil!"
He started jotting down more notes, including a crude sketch of a test tube baby in a tie.
"But what does he want with the girl?" he asked himself, flipping through his notes. "She's probably some kind of Fae; that's why she's so short and looks young. She must be representing the Jolly Green Giant's fairy army; the pink is just to throw us off. Or she's a prepubescent Mothman...a Slug Caterpillar Teen. This show is even more connected to the Conspiracy than you thought Welker…"
As Welker continued to spy on Dolly and Tim, he remained unaware that the janitor was spying on him…
/
Inside, most everyone was chatting with someone, wondering when they'd be leaving.
"I can't believe it," Octasia gasped. "Aren't you the WTH championship winner?"
"READ THE HAM'S CHAMPIONSHIP BELT!" The Ham growled. "I ripped it from the Mortician's cold, dead, pelvis after I choke-holded him with my THUNDEROUS THIGHS."
"I saw!" Octasia exclaimed. "What a match. I can't believe the show actually got someone as famous as the Mayor of Slam City."
"Or that broad from broadway," Giovanni added.
Mana Somebody crossed her arms. "I was under the impression I was going to be the most famous person on this show."
"I didn't realize you were famous," Octasia teased. "You should have told us...what was again? Mary something?"
At that time, the last plane arrived. Unlike the others, it was a sleek silver jet. Workers came, filling three luggage carts with identical black suitcases. Only one person exited the plane.
She strutted up to the entrance in sandal pumps. The girl, named Rubella, was a young, Asian-American woman with her black hair in Cleopatra bob cut. She wore fashionable, silver and black clothing. Everyone went silent as she approached.
She stood staring them down through her designer shades, their uncomfortable faces reflected in the glaring lenses.
Lifting up her shades, Rubella stepped forward. "Hmph. This is my competition?"
She smirked. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm R-"
Her heel snapped. She fell backwards, tumbling out the door. "Ahhhhhh!"
She kept tumbling and tumbling, till she fell face first into a trash can that then started rolling away. "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!"
"...So anyway, what were we talking about?" Octasia asked.
"Me and how famous I am," Mana Somebody stated.
"Who are you again?" In A Gadda Da Vida asked.
/
Savannah strolled over to the grass near the airport. On the lawn, was Tim, Dolly and another girl. She was a string bean girl, biracial, tall, and skinny. She wore a shirt showing five different colored dragon heads. Occasionally, elf-like ears would peak out of her curly brunette hair. When she smiled you could see her braces.
All three were on their hands and knees on the ground.
"Somebody lose a contact?" Savannah asked. "Probably not you Glasses."
"Is she referring to me?" Tim asked, pointing at himself.
"Are you the only one wearing glasses?" Dolly asked.
"Yes."
"Then obviously."
The string bean girl blushed. "I um...I lost my twenty sided dice."
"Ooh," Savannah said. "You're a nerd."
"Well, I guess…"
"That's cool," Savannah replied.
"You think being a nerd is cool?" she asked.
"Doing what you like and being proud of it is cool," Savannah asked. "Plus, tabletop games aren't the worst thing you could be doing."
"Yeah," Dolly agreed. "I mean at least you're not writing fanfiction for a cartoon from the mid 2000s."
"That's oddly specific," the string bean said.
"It was the saddest thing I could think of," Dolly replied.
Tim shuddered. "That's the kind of thing that would lead to a life of crime."
"What's your name?" Savannah asked.
"Arwen," the elf-eared girl replied with a smile. "You?"
"Savannah," she replied. "So how did you lose it anyway?"
"I've been carrying it in my pocket," Arwen admitted. "I've had some bad roles recently; carrying it on you is supposed to bring good luck."
"Losing it is the opposite of good luck," Savannah stated.
"Tell me about it," Arwen said. "I was just enjoying a walk when this pink soccer ball nails me in the face. And now I can't find it."
"We decided to help her find it," Dolly stated. "Purely of the goodness of our hearts."
"Actually," Tim said, "we were playing-"
"-It was truly a strange and unexplainable accident," Dolly sighed.
"It's not that big a deal," Arwen laughed. "I mean I did want to start a campaign at the hotel if there was enough interest, but it's not like dice are that expensive."
"I'm usually here for a new game," Dolly said, "but doesn't that involve a lot of math?"
"I mean kind of?" Arwen replied. "There's your stats and calculating roles, but it isn't hard."
Dolly pouted. "That's a yes. I don't do math when I'm not at school."
"If you change your mind let me know," Arwen said. "I know a lot of campaigns. I can do science-fiction, murder mystery, gothic punk..."
"I took you as a fantasy nerd," Savannah stated.
Arwen blushed. "Fantasy is my favorite. Before I left I was actually in this cool L.A.R. campaign where-"
"-Okay, L.A.R. is super nerdy," Savannah admitted. "Still better than the fanfiction thing, but…"
Arwen shrugged. "I guess, but it's super fun!"
"What is L.A.R. ?" Dolly asked.
"Live Action Role-Playing," Tim answered.
"Do you L.A.R.P.?" Arwen asked.
"Oh no," Tim replied. "I've certainly never been accused of it either… I just mean I'm not at all the type to do something like that."
"Like what?" Arwen asked.
"You know," Tim said, "Take on another identity, jump around in a colorful costume, make pretend weapons...I'm just a fellow, average citizen."
Dolly raised an eyebrow. "Do you always say suspicious things? Or is this something you decided to do for the show?"
"Found it."
The others turned to see Savannah holding a bright green dice in her palm. "Hopefully it brings more luck now."
"Thanks," Arwen replied. "I owe you one."
"If we're on the same team I'll remember that," Savannah said.
The others raised their eyebrows. "Are you serious?"
Savannah shrugged. "I'm joking. Mostly. Just putting it out there. This is a game and it's started. People are playing it right now."
"I'm not," Tim said.
"Maybe not intentionally," Savannah replied, "But even now you're making a first impression. What you're doing now, people may base a decision off of it."
"She has a point," Dolly admitted.
"Hopefully the real exciting stuff starts soon," Savannah said with a yawn. "Faffing around an airport is so boring."
"If you guys are really bored," Arwen said, "we could start a campaign now that I found my twenty-sided…"
Arwen looked up to see everyone had disappeared. "I would have taken a no."
/
The mysterious janitor tip-toed away into the supply closet. Locking the door behind them, they connected their pink cellphone to a laptop and began uploading footage. "That was too easy. I've got the inside scoop and no one suspects a thing!"
The janitor tore off their beard and let down their just shoulder length black hair. She unzipped her gray jumpsuit, revealing her plum dress and knee-high socks.
"My followers are going to get the full exclusive on Total Drama's newest competitors before it even starts," she gloated to herself. "I'm such a genius!"
The self-proclaimed genius, Cassidy, adjusted her glasses as she cackled to herself. "My blog is going to triple in followers with photos of videos straight from the set. All I had to do was find the meeting place, arrive a day early, spend the night sleeping in the vents, and impersonate a janitor. Talk about easy."
Cassidy rapidly typed away at her computer. "Now to add some spice to this news stew. Hmm...Tim and Dolly hooking up? Giovanni and Norris already competing to be the alpha male? Ooh! Let's add that Eddie, Virginia, and Plath are already forming an alliance, while Plath flirts with both. I can see the headline now; 'Final Three or Love Triangle?' Sounds like berries to me…"
The airport's loudspeaker went off. "All contestants for Total Drama please meet out front immediately."
"Horsefeathers!" Cassidy sighed. "Oh well, the real fun is about to start…"
Sneaking out through the vents, Cassidy slipped into the crowd with the others. Octasia turned to her.
"I haven't seen you around," Octasia stated.
"The name's Cassidy," she replied. "I just arrived actually."
Luis frowned. "Really? I didn't see a plane."
Cassidy forced a smile. "I was dropped off at the wrong airport. I had to take a truck here."
Octasia stared her down. "How strange…"
"You're kind of lucky," Luis said. "You missed the creepy janitor watching us."
"Creepy janitor?" Cassidy asked.
"Oh yeah," Luis added. "Real creepy! Taking all these obvious photos."
"Maybe they're not really creepy," Cassidy replied. "Maybe they're just misunderstood, and are actually super intelligent and really, really, cute."
"Hmm," Luis said. "Nah, they were creepy."
Cassidy scowled.
/
"That was amazing!" Plath sighed, picking leaves out of her hair. "I've lived in the Blue Ridge Mountains my whole life, but I think that's my first time actually climbing a tree!"
"Should we tell her she was only five feet off the ground?" Eddie whispered. Montana shook his head.
"Thanks for letting me tag along Eddie," Plath said.
"I told you to call me Dead Ed," Eddie said. "All my friends do."
"I don't know if I feel comfortable doing that," Plath admitted.
"Don't sweat it brah," Eddie replied. "Life is too short to make enemies. I'd rather make friends."
"It's not that," Plath said. "I don't like the 'Dead' part. Especially if something happens on the show..."
Eddie shrugged. "If I haven't died yet riding motorcycles over sharks, nothing's going to kill me."
Montana smirked and whispered. "A man after my own heart…"
/
The twenty-two teens stood at the airport's entrance. A large, dented bus was parked outside. Toby stood by it. "Everybody get on. Two to seat."
Rubella threw a banana peel off her shoulder. "Ugh, how far away is our hotel? I need to charge my phone."
Dolly pinched her nose, whispering, "And take a shower…"
Toby shrugged. "Get on or pay for your own ticket out of Brazil."
The teens started loading up on the bus. Toby held out his hand as the cheerleaders approached. "Contestants only."
"We're like with Flynn."
"Contestants only," Toby repeated.
"Listen, we know we're not competing," one said. "We just want to cheer him on."
"We'll sign waivers!" another added.
"We have enough characters to keep track of as it is," Toby stated. "We don't need a bunch of one-dimensional comic relief."
Quinton walked into the bus while trying to beatbox, accidentally spitting on Rubella's face.
"Well...more one-dimensional comic relief," Toby said. "Beat it, or I won't let your boy toy on either."
Flynn stopped in the bus' doorway. "It's alright ladies. I'll feel your support the whole time."
"We'll miss you Flynn!" they cried.
He blew a kiss at them, before leaving.
One cheerleader ran up and 'caught' the kiss in her hands. "Eeeeee! Flynn's goodbye kiss is mine!"
"Oh my gosh!" one cried. "You got Flynn's last air kiss."
"It was my turn!" another added.
"Nobody cares Sasha!"
"It's Molly."
The cheer squad started tackling and slapping each other as they fought over something that wasn't even real.
"So much for their female friendship," Plath said, rolling her eyes.
/
The last person to step on the bus was a tall, indigenous teenage boy. He had several piercings; a stick through his nose and two sticks through his lips, while blue feathers pierced in each ear. Red face paint zigzagged across his face. He only wore a dark purple loincloth. He forced a smile while waving at the others, before taking a seat at the front.
"Who is that?" Giovanni asked.
"Must be someone from one of the tribes that live in the Amazon," Montana said. "The show could be doing some kind of opening ceremony with him."
The boy turned around and pointed at himself. "Kaobawa."
"Cowabunga?" Eddie asked. "Dude, you go surfing?"
He raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Yequmamo."
"Gazuntite," Giovanni stated.
"He said Yequmamo," In A Gadda Da Vida said. ""The Yequmamo are one of the many indigenous tribes that have lived in the Amazon rainforest for years; due to deforestation and human development, their numbers are actually under five hundred."
"How do you know that?" Giovanni asked.
"I read about them," Vida replied. "I thought I should read a lot about Brazil and the Amazon before coming here; didn't all of you?"
Many of the contestants blushed.
Toby sighed as the bus drove away. In a few minutes the airport had disappeared from view.
"Isn't this exciting?" Cecilia asked. "A group of strangers all headed to the same place for their own reasons. It's like an Agatha Christie novel without the murder. Presumably."
The bus traveled down a dirt road, kicking up dust as the trees started to grow taller and more abundant. Eventually, the path became bumpier and bumpier as the road became less defined and roots grew through the ground. Finally, the bus halted to a stop.
"We're here."
The contestants rushed out of their seats, grabbing their luggage, talking all at once, asking what they thought it was going to be like or cheering in delight. Shoving, shuffling, pushing, jumping out of that old bus, the teens headed out to see their destination.
In front of them was the outskirts of the jungle; no five star resort, no hotel, no civilization anywhere.
"Where is it?" Rubella sneered.
"Is this a trap?" Welker asked.
"Maybe it's in the jungle," Arwen suggested.
"It is the jungle."
The teens turned to face their hostess. Toby walked out and stood behind her with Jenny.
"This season you're going to be living in the Amazon," Rhonda stated.
"Aca-scuse me?" Rubella asked. "I was promised a room in a five-star hotel!"
From one of her vest pockets, Rhonda pulled out a contract and read, "Contestants will be staying at a luxury, five-star resort...or an alternate venue chosen at the production team's discretion."
Rubella gasped. "But, but, but…"
"Sorry," Rhonda said smiling. "Truth is, we were going to stay at a five-star resort. However, thanks to some generous donations we were able to change our plans last minute and actually afford the staff and equipment to film in the Amazon!"
"That's not what my father meant when he gave you money," Rubella muttered to herself.
"So you mean we're actually living in there?" Giovanni asked. "With trees and animals and rain and stuff?"
"Yeah," Rhonda replied. "That's what a rainforest is."
They all eyed the Amazon once more; they stood on the last remains of the dirt road, with the jungle merely a few steps away. The jungle seemed to get bigger and bigger in the distance, consuming the area and covering the sky the further and further it went. Bird cries, insect screeches and the occasional growl echoed out of the forest.
"RADICAL!" Eddie shouted.
"Glad to know someone's excited," Rhonda replied. "Now then, let's get to our next surprise. Bring her in."
From the opposite end, a red-shirted intern drove a jeep from behind a grove of trees. Everyone went silent. All eyes were on the passenger seat, where a young woman sat…
…but everyone could feel this was no ordinary young woman. It wasn't just the way her dark blond hair caught the radiance of shining sunbeams, elevated by her rose gold ombré. Nor was it her casual, but fashionable, light purple top and blue jeans. Or her dream-catcher necklace. Or even the glimmers in her eyes that were the color of blooming violets. It was just something about her.
In the actual episode, the editors added Tchaikovsky's "Waltz of Flowers" at this moment. The audience heard harp strings when they first saw her, followed by the song welcoming spring as represented by this young woman. The editors claimed it was what they heard every time she entered their field of vision.
She parade waved at the contestants as the jeep approached, now taking the form of Apollo's golden Chariot of the Sun in their hearts and minds.
"She's…she's like an angel," Zane said. "No…not an angel. That word feels too limiting."
"Is she even human?" Welker asked.
"Holy Aphrodite!" Tim said. "I feel like I've seen her before."
"Wait a minute…isn't she that famous film director?" Octasia asked.
"I thought she took gold at the Olympics for bobsledding," Eddie said.
"Nah," Quinton said. "I'm pretty sure she's a world champion gamer."
"She's all those things," Rhonda said. "But so much more. She's…Jessica Crystal."
Jessica Crystal stepped out elegantly, like a duo of doves dancing a joyous pas de deux together in perfect harmony.
You might be asking yourself dear reader, "Are these descriptions really necessary?" In your heart, and all your other many organs, you know the answer; yes. For though no conceivable language could capture the feeling of this moment, we must try.
"Hello," Jessica Crystal said. "I'm Jessica Crystal. I hope we all become good friends."
"With that, we now have all our contestants," Rhonda said.
"You mean we have to compete against her?" Savannah asked.
"I was under the impression I was going to be the only hot girl on the show," Mana Somebody whined. She didn't notice the many glares she was getting.
"Are there only going to be twenty-three of us?" Welker asked. "There must be an impostor. One of Bigfoot's spies no doubt."
"Jessica Crystal makes twenty four," Rhonda clarified.
"You mean someone is invisible?" Welker asked. "Jokes on them, I have heat-reading goggles."
"I think she means the tall guy from the Amazon," Dolly added. "Kaobawa was it?"
Kaobawa smiled softly and nodded.
"Since this is season two," Rhonda said, "we decided to add two extra contestants as a twist! We just wanted to save the best for last."
Rubella scoffed, but was drowned out by everyone sighing in awe as Jessica Crystal sneezed.
"I hope she sneezes on my face," Luis whispered.
Norris nodded. "It would be like being baptized."
"Please don't stop the show on my small account," Jessica Crystal said.
Rhonda sighed, sniffling. "I'm sorry…I just…I just get choked up thinking what your appearance on this show will do for our ratings. Thank you for being here, really."
"My pleasure," Jessica Crystal replied. "I've never done a reality show before. I'm looking forward to it."
Most everyone clapped at her words as she joined her fellow competitors.
Rhonda cleared her throat. "Now that we have everyone, allow me to welcome you to... Total Drama: Lost In The Amazon! This season you twenty-four explorers are going on an adventure unlike anything on television! You'll be living in the Amazon, competing for the grand prize of two million dollars!"
The newly christened explorers cheered and roared.
Rhonda smirked. "So let's get down to brass tax."
From the treetops a net full of large, coconut-like fruit fell. It swung and hit Rhonda in the back of the head before dropping beside her.
"Oww... Now, in this bag there are twenty four Brazil nuts," Rhonda groaned. "Everyone grab one and crack it open."
Giovanni ran up, grabbing the first nut. He grunted as he tried to rip it apart…and failed.
"It's harder than it looks," Giovanni said.
"What?" Dolly asked. "Thinking?"
The Jersey jock rolled his eyes. "Let's see you do it daffodil."
Dolly smirked. With a cry of "Ha-cha!" she chopped one in half, spraying herself and the ground with green paint. Giovanni's jaw dropped…along with the Brazil nut on his toe. The nut broke on impact, splattering Giovanni in orange paint. The others crowded around the pile, taking one.
From the back, Cassidy had secured a Brazil nut in each hand. She scanned everyone. "Hmm…"
"OOH YEAH!" The Ham growled, squashing the nut flat in her bare hands. She doused herself in orange paint.
Jessica Crystal grabbed a Brazil nut and opened it into two perfect halves, each with an equal amount of green paint.
Rubella grinded her teeth. She threw her Brazil nut to the ground...where it bounced back and hit her in the face. It splattered green paint on her dress.
Quinton tried to bite into his nut, but ended up lodging a gold tooth inside it. "Aww man, my cap! I'm going to have real beef with my dentist now."
He tried to pull it out, only for it to crack. The nut cracked as well, revealing green paint.
Mana Somebody tossed hers against a tree, revealing orange paint. She winked at Norris as he opened his to the same color.
"If your Brazil nut has orange paint you'll stand to my left," Rhonda said. "If it has green paint, stand to my right."
Cassidy studied the two crowds forming. Eventually, she dropped the Brazil nut in her left hand, squashing it with her foot and revealing orange paint. She tossed the other one aside.
Eddie picked it up. He banged it against his forehead, which made a metallic noise in response. He cracked the Brazil nut with his skull, revealing green paint.
"My good ol' metal plate," he chuckled, banging his forehead as the others raised their eyebrows.
Rhonda smiled as twelve explorers stood on each side of her. "Get comfortable everyone …because these are your teams!"
She turned to the left. "On the orange team we have Octasia, Cecilia, Giovanni, Savannah, In A Gadda Da Vida, Welker, Heloise, Cassidy, Plath, Zane, Mana Somebody, and Norris. Together you are…The Gregarious Capybaras!"
"A Gregory who?" Giovanni asked.
"Capybaras are the world's largest living rodents," In A Gadda Da Vida stated. "They live all over South America in groups, near the water."
"Oh," Giovanni said. "Uh, I knew that."
"Did you know that they're also called nature's ottomans because other animals love to sit on their fluffy, barrel shaped bodies?" Vida asked.
Norris scratched his head. "Wait, whose Heloise?"
"The Ham goes by many names," The Ham answered. "The Ham, Mayor of Slam City, The Shamoness of Smackdowns, The Human Sharknado, The Killer Queen, The Heavy Metal Hurricane of Pain… Heloise is just another. Call me whatever you're comfortable with."
"They're all so beautiful," Zane sighed.
Rhonda tossed the team an orange banner with their emblem, depicting a capybara wearing sunglasses.
"Now then," the hostess continued. "To my right on the green team we have Eddie, Dolly, Luis, Kaobawa, Arwen, Quinton, Montana, Brantley, Rubella, Flynn, Tim…and the Jessica Crystal. You are…The Bootylicious Anacondas!"
Arwen raised an eyebrow. "Who came up with these names?"
Rhonda pouted. "I liked them."
She tossed them a green banner with their own emblem, depicting a large snake shaking its hindquarters to some kind of beat.
"I'd rather be an ottoman than the butt team," Octasia teased.
"You're forgetting we're the anacondas," Brantley replied. "You know, the world's heaviest snake. Known for eating several animals…including capybaras."
"They also practice cannibalism," In A Gadda Da Vida said. "But it's easier to name animals that don't. In a way its weird humans don't…"
"Are these teams for real though?" Giovanni asked. "Cause we got 8 girls and 4 guys. Not that I mind. I'm sure the ladies don't."
He winked at Cassidy; she moved to the opposite end of the line-up.
"…It just seems a little unfair for voting and stuff, you know?"
"It was a random draw," Rhonda said. "If it's not even, it's not even. That's just the breaks. All teams are officially final. So maybe don't let all the girls know they can vote you off, okay?"
The explorers turned as they heard the sound of honking. Jenny and Toby each pulled up in a jeep, color-coordinated and sporting one of the team's emblems.
"Jenny and Toby will take you to where you'll be staying," Rhonda announced. "You can take the time to get to know each other more and rest-up for your first challenge tomorrow. We'll have your luggage there when you arrive."
The Gregarious Capybaras loaded up into the back of Jenny's jeep, while The Bootylicious Anacondas packed in the back of Toby's.
/
Everyone was silent as the jeeps drove away, Toby following behind Jenny's. Eventually they came to a fork in the road and took separate paths. The Capybaras were driven up a long, narrow pathway as The Anacondas went down a winding incline.
Toby turned up the music in the Anacondas' jeep.
Welcome to the jungle
it gets worse here every day
Ya learn to live like an animal
in the jungle where we play
If you hunger for what you see
you'll take it eventually
You can have everything you want
but you better not take it from me
"How subtle," Brantley stated.
/
In the Capybaras' jeep, Jenny blasted the same song.
"Do you think you could turn it down?" Plath asked, as most of them covered their ears.
Savannah closed her eyes, turning off her hearing aid. "Wake me when we get there."
Jenny turned to face her passengers, grinning ear to ear. "Good luck Capybaras. You're going to need it."
"What does that-"
Jenny pulled a lever under her chair; her seat shot off like a rocket. A parachute opened; Jenny waved, floating away.
"What the ****?" Octasia asked.
/
In the Anaconda's jeep, Luis pointed up to the sky. "Look at that. That's not a bird, is it?"
"It looks like Jen-"
"-Try not to die," Toby said. " Or do."
Toby pulled a lever and his chair fired off, before his parachute opened and he hovered away.
"Rude," Rubella said. "Who's going to get my bags?"
"I think we have more pressing issues," Dolly stated. "Like whose driving?"
The Anacondas all looked up front. Their jeep didn't slow down. It sped up.
Tim threw off his seat belt immediately. Jumping into the front seat, he grabbed the steering wheel. It snapped off. "Uh oh..."
/
In the Capybaras' jeep, Heloise discovered the same problem. She tossed the wheel aside, slamming on the brakes. The jeep went faster.
"I knew it was a trap!" Welker cried.
"We're going to die!" Plath screamed. "We're actually going to die!"
"I'm too hot to die," Mana Somebody stated. "Somebody save my life now!"
"I haven't even kissed anyone yet," Norris admitted.
Their jeep turned, spinning out of control. They fell off the road and slid down the side of the jungle.
"Everyone stay behind me!" Heloise yelled. She tried to grab all her teammates and shield them behind her body. "It's going to be a bumpy ride down."
The jeep spiraled faster, driving further into the Amazon…
/
Tim wasn't having an easier time. He pumped the brakes. Nothing.
"This is not cool!" Flynn cried out.
"Are you kidding?" Eddie asked. "This is awesome! EXTREME!"
He laughed and threw up his hands as the others screamed.
Tim sighed, nodding before jumping out of the jeep.
"We lost Tim!" Arwen yelled.
"I think he lucked out," Brantley gulped.
The jeep sped up faster, headed straight towards a cliff...
You know where you are?
You're down in the jungle baby,
you're gonna die
in the jungle.
Welcome to the jungle.
Author's Note
Traditional author's notes will be on the next chapter, which will come out 1/16/21. Please share your comments and thoughts on the story till then.
