IMPORTANT BEFORE READING

This story will deal with heavy topics. It is a story about rape recovery so please read with caution!

DISCLAIMER

I do not own "The Vampire Diaries", plot or characters it belongs to its original creator. I am merely using their characters as this my original plot.

NOTES!

This will be a short story maybe four chapters. It will be caroline centric as it will deal with her pain.


TRIBULATION

chapter one why me?

_

Luminous light could be so soothing but it could also be so daunting. Lights have many meanings but what Caroline wanted was to join the lights because all she feels is confusion. Caroline eyed the purple and yellowish color appearing lightly across her neck. She shifted her gaze to see herself staring in a blurry mirror.

Her body fully covered in bruises, scars that cover her like a remainder that whatever she encounter wasn't human. The bite marks that ran so deep into her skin as dried blood caressed her ivory skin. Gazing into her own reflection, she felt her throat burn as it itched to let out a sob. The worst part about everything is she doesn't remember getting the bruise or bites.

She just remembers shutting her eyes hoping it would end. Gazing at her reflection, she hated what she saw. It was as if the mirror was cursed by an inadequate woman who is unrecognizable to herself. What exactly was she? The image of herself had to reflect infinite of anxious wounds.

The dried blood smeared on her as the red tainted her skin. She moves to the bathroom, undresses herself as she steps into the icy-cold water pummel onto her scratch bleeding back as she sobbed. Her eyes glanced at the ruby red water that went down the drain as she wished it was her life going down that drain.

She brought her knees up to her as the water continued to drounch her full-on delicate flesh as the ice slowly faded everything in her as all she could feel was numbness as echos terrifying cries tormented into her like it was her own scream.

She knew it wasn't fair that she wanted life to end but she feels lost, her memories blur into one unless suffocating loop of despairs. Because why couldn't she remember anything? How is it possible to be scared of something when you don't know what it is?

Her eyes move up as they are drawn to the bright, flashing light above her. The lights shine so brightly, as if they were her salvation in this harsh world.

She wants to be gone. Where all the pain in her needs to leave as the suffocating emotions of being alive are creeping in her with the guilt as she believes that her life has no meaning. She tried to faking everything because there is that hope if you fake it, then maybe you will start to believe it.

She sat up as her hands moved across the bloody water with no recollection of when life had become like this? Was it just the teenage depression phase?

But her body and her pain in her was proof that something else is what is making her feel so useless.

She steps out of the shower as the cold air hits her delicate body. Shivering, she grabbed a towel and dried her body. Ignoring every part of herself wanting to glance at the mirror and see the ugly scars on her.

She changed into her pjs as she crawl into her bed crying for a pain that she does not remember.

𐄁𐄁𐄁𐄁𐄁𐄁𐄁𐄁

Three weeks have passed, her bruises slightly healing but the state of her mind, not so much. She feels worse than beforeβ€” nightmares that invade her like plague. She tries to get a clear picture of what her nightmares show but she starts to think that she does not want to know at all.

"Caroline, you okay?"

Her thoughts break as she turns to Matt, her boyfriend. She gives him a tight smile, while he grabs hold of her hand, it takes everything in her to not pull away. Matt is a good guy but she can not help but feel that she doesn't want anyone touching her. She feels disgusted with herself.

Closing her eyes she enjoys the light breeze across her rosy cheek. She turns to Matt who gives her a nudge, "Are you going to eat that?"

Caroline shook her head as she lost her appetite a lot. It should be concerning since she has lost a lot of weight in such a short amount of time but she doesn't feel like eating anything at all. Food has not seemed so good lately.

She observes Matt laughing while talking to their friends. She sees Bonnie, her green eyes shine bright catching every word, Elena with a big smile on her, and Stefan nodding along. Everything seems so good and perfect but for her.

Matt is beside her, but his concentration is on Elena, and Tyler comes with him as a full package, yet she complies regardless of liking him or not. She remembers being little girl wanting to be attractive, adored, and admired, but she doesn't comprehend why life works that way.

She hates everything in life. Not understanding the pain she feels in herself. She can't be with Matt. She knows that much because any slight touch across her skin makes her want to throw up. She stood up giving an excuse that she is not feeling good and wants to go home.

They all immediately ask if she wants a ride home which she declines. Turing around, she notices Damon coming their way. She hates him and doesn't know why. But every time he is near her she quivers in fear and wants to run for her life.

She does her best to ignore him as she walks past him but he stops her with his eyes narrow on her. He puts his hand on her cheek which causes her to flinch. He caressed her cheek, "Why so sad blondie?"

She did not respond as she felt her eyes prinkle with tears but she refused to let them out. He gave her a sinister smile, "Smile, blondie."

Caroline felt her cheeks rise up as she gave him a smile hoping it pleased him enough to leave her. He pets her head, "Good girl."

He walks away leaving Caroline with a forced smile on her face as her foot sweep the floor with her tears coming out of her. When she knows she is far away from them she runs with all her energy as the sobs come out of her like a hurricane.

Why is she so scared of everything? Why can't she remember? What made her feel so miserable?

Her feet come to completely stop until she is at home, her living room. With no one really there as her absent mother is in the kitchen getting ready to go to work, leaving her alone with no warmth of mother's love near to protect her. She sat in the living room as tears followed out of her ocean orbs.

She has been crying so much lately. But the worst part is she is crying because she is in pain but does not why she is in pain in the first place.

Her mother did not notice the tears coming out of her daughter as all she talked about what happened at work the day before.

She was not seeing her daughter in pain, screaming for help.

Here she is at sixteen, with no thought in her mind but slight stinging pain across her entire body; sitting in the living room in the presence of her mother, her neck wrapped under the sweater and unable to express the atrocities of what she'd gone through, with taint image of her bed that might be used as proof if she could only find the words.

Because she came to terms with what might have happened to her. She was raped. But who would believe her?

She does not remember anything at all. Even with the possibility of her being drugged, what if they all blame her for being so careless and naive?

I'm trying to tell you, she'd thought urgently, creating a forced grin and acting as if everything was normal. As her mother walked away going to work. She shut her eyes once again feeling completely lost.

She doesn't know what to do anymore, she is at her breaking point all she wants is to remember what happened that made her so sad?

What made her lose herself?

When did she turn to a person she was not?

Why her?

Maybe this was a punishment for something she did in life but why did the punishment have to be so cruel.

Why can't she remember but could still feel the disgust and slight touches on her body?


notes!

THOUGHTS?!?!

so the tvd writer never acknowledged what happened to Caroline and I feel like she would have end things with Matt and not get with Tyler because she needs to heal.

you need tell me she notice what happened to her but was still okay with being Matt, a boy, when her pain was came to the surface and all her memories of her transition came crashing all down a once?