After failing to convince Nino to comeback to the Quints apartment, even with the help of Miku, who went home and told him to do the same. He is walking in park that was near his home, with a feeling he felt years ago that it was so familiar that he hates it. Helplessness. The same feeling he felt when his mother died. He felt this feeling years ago when he couldn't help his mother and could just watch as she died in front of him in the hospital bed. The beeping of the heart monitor turned into a flatlined. He could still remember it vividly like it was just yesterday. Now that feeling is back to haunt him after years of not feeling it.
'How did it turn out like this? I was just trying to help...' He thought as he continued his walk Although the words Nino said to him scarred him. 'You should have never come in our lives ' kept repeating over and over in his head like some record that was set on loop.
As he continued to walk, he reached the small lake that was inside the park. He looked over the fence near the lake then at the blue mirror made of water, that was reflecting his figure and facial expression. The expression of uselessness, defeat, failure.
Not wanting to feel worse and stare at his miserable reflection longer, he started to walk to the direction of the exit of the park, and back to his house.
As he arrived back at his home, his little sister wearing an apron tackled him with a hug "Welcome home Onii-chan! Dinner is almost rea-" she started to say but stopped when she saw the look on her brother's face.
"Onii-chan? What happened?" Asked the young girl as she stopped her hug.
"It's nothing, I'm sorry you had to see my face" while patting her head and giving a soft smile to ease her worries. "Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm just not feeling well so I'll sleep early this time. Tell dad and Itsuki to not disturb me because I'm just tired and want to sleep." It was a lie... He just didn't want his sister to worry.
Raiha, who didn't want pry any further let him go to his room. After sending him of to his room, she went back to preparing dinner but not before leaving a portion of dinner for him as she didn't want to leave him with an empty stomach.
After an hour or so Isanari came back with some groceries with Itsuki.
"Welcome back Dad, Itsuki-san!" Raiha said as she got out of the kitchen and hugged the two
"Yo Raiha, where's Fuutarou? Is he sleeping at the Quints place or something?" Isanari asked his youngest daughter seeing that Fuutarou wasn't at the table studying while he puts the groceries inside their fridge.
"Raiha-chan good evening, is dinner ready?" Itsuki asked the little girl with a ponytail who replied "A-ah... Onii-chan said he wasn't feeling well so he went to sleep early. He also told me to not disturb him..." as she lowered her head as she was worried about her big brother.
"Oh no is he sick Raiha-chan?" Itsuki asked in a worried tone
"WHAT?! FUUTAROU'S SICK?!" yelled Isanari as he heard what Raiha said then proceeded to walk to Fuutarou's room but was stopped by Raiha.
"No Onii-chan said he was just tired so he's fine!" Raiha said to her father to stop him as he tried to open the door to Fuutarou's room.
Seeing that her father isn't stopping she stood in between the door and him. "Dad please be quiet and let Onii-chan rest. He said he was just tired so he slept early."
Being stopped by her daughter, he apologized "I'm sorry Raiha, I was just worried for your brother because he doesn't get sick often. This is the first time he went to bed early since... middle school." There was a slight pause in his sentence when he said that it has been a while since he went to bed early. Well that was the time when his wife, Fuutarou and Raiha's mother died due to some illness.
In the middle of that ruckus, Fuutarou was sitting in a place of endless darkness. There wasn't a hint of light in the place he was in. Although he didn't do anything as it was a normal occurrence for him. Ever since his mother died he rarely had dreams anymore.
'Huh... as always... an endless land of darkness' he thought to himself as he continued to sit down looking at the floor of darkness.
Suddenly something caught his attention, an orb of light appeared in front of him inside of his endless dark void of a dream. He was curious as it was the first time this had happened ever since he his dream of this endless void started.
As he continued to stare at the orb of light, as it started to take form. The form of a human. Although that wasn't the thing that startled him. What startled him was the form the orb was taking was none other than his own, except this one had his old blonde and wild hairstyle.
Now there were two Fuutarou's, one standing and another sitting down.
"What the hell?! What are you?! He shouted
"Relax, I'm just your consciousness. Well a different one, the one you buried when mom died..."
As he said that there was a moment of silence. Since every time he was reminded of his mother that feeling was always the first thing to pop-up.
"Ehem, so why are ya down me?" The blonde version of Fuutarou asked the other.
"You're my conscience, you should know why I'm feeling like this. Hell I don't even know why I'm feeling like!" He shouted again at his blonde version.
"I said relax me... Well I know I was stubborn and doesn't like listening to others but seeing you, I see that it hasn't changed haha" the blonde version laughed. "Anyways... Why don't I know the reason? It's because I was suppressed. To cut the explaination short, I was in a box where I don't hear nor see anything. It was super boring there ya know? I hope after this you won't suppress me anymore. So tell me why you're feeling that depressed?"
"I see... Well no promises. Listen closely me" The original Fuutarou shrugged his shoulders and started to explain why he felt down while the blonde version sat in front of him. He started from the time where he met Itsuki at the cafeteria, the firework festival on how he had to search for the Quints, their exams where Miku almost killed him with her cooking, he continued to explain all of the events that happened up until now.
"Damn, I actually feel a lot better that I was trapped in that box."
"Oi it would've been better if you felt what I feel that time. I actually almost died on that school trip and Miku fed me too much that I don't want to eat anymore"
"Must be nice to be fed by a girl huh?"
"Unless she'd feed you till you want to puke" he scowled at the blonde versions comment
"Anyways listen to me, I got some advice."
The original Fuutarou then sat up as he listened to the advice of the blonde version of himself.
"You should just quit tutoring them. They were nothing but a pain to you. They kept annoying you throughout the months since you met them. Hell one of them even drugged ya. You should just give up." the blonde version of himself said to him.
He considered what the blonde version said as dreams are considered desires or representations of events that when conscious are unacceptable to us. Meaning that deep down he had always wanted to quit this hell of a job.
"Don't try to reason out like when you tried to explain to our teacher why you ditched Takebayashi and the others when you went to Kyoto. And before you try to shout at me again, you know it's true. So just make a choice. Either continue being their tutor or just quit and start a new job."
Before he was gonna shout at him but was now thinking of the choices. He had a point. The Quints really did had a low chance of graduating and he does want help them graduate but how can he do it when Nino doesn't even wants to accept him. So he made his choice
"Yeah...I should just quit and find another job. A normal job with a normal pay! They could just hire someone else who's better than me!" He shouted.
"That's the spirit me! Now I'll go now as it's time for ya to wake up, so see ya! Also get a better haircut and have a frest start!" said the blonde version of him before he started to disappear while giving him a thumbs up.
Fuutarou then opened his eyes after that relaxing and long sleep feeling refreshed as it has been a really long since he has gotten that kind of sleep. 'Huh... that blonde versi- I mean that other conscious of mine really had a point... Also is my hair really that bad?' he thought to himself while touching his hair seeing if it really was that bad, until he heard soft snore. He knows that it didn't belong to Raiha as she doesn't snore nor his father as it wasn't loud. It was more soft like it was from a girl. He looked to his side and saw Raiha and Itsuki sleeping next to eachother.
'Ah right.. Itsuki is staying here since she and Nino fought.' He then got up slowly making sure to not make any noise that would wake the two girls up. He then walked slowly to the door of his room avoiding stepping on Raiha and Itsuki's hair, he looked back at the sleeping Itsuki and whispered under his breath 'This is goodbye' as he leaves his room.
As he exited his room and closed the door slowly he sees his dad sleeping on the table with a can of beer next to him. ' Ah he drank a lot again...' he sighed and moved closer to him.
As he went next to him, he shakes his shoulder to wake him up. As Isanari opened his eyes to see who was waking him up it was met with the figure of his only son. "Fuutarou? So you feeling better now?" He asked him as he yawned and stretched his arms. 'Raiha must've told him that I wasn't feeling well...' he though as he looked at his old man stretching before talking.
"Dad, I need your help with something very important." He said with a determined and serious expression that Isanari hadn't seen for a long time.
"Shoot kiddo" he said with an equally serious expression like the one on his son's face because even with or without his fatherly senses, he knows that this is serious.
"I want to quit being the Nakano's tutor."
"Why do you want to quit Fuutarou?"
"Well I think they're now competent enough to study on their own and Nino still hates me, I think these are valid reasons for wanting to quit right?"
"It is but are you sure? Are you really sure you want to quit?" Isanari asked his son using his serious tone.
"Yeah... I want to quit." Fuutarou stated firmly in front of his dad hoping that he'll agree to him quitting. Yes it would be a shame to quit but they would just find another and more skillful tutor than him.
"Alright then, I'll respect your decision Fuutarou. I'll contact Maruo later."
"Thanks dad... Also can I ask one more thing?" he said making his dad raise his eyebrow.
"So what is it?" he said with some hint of seriousness in his tone from their discussion earlier.
"Is my hair really that bad?" as he asked that, Isanari had face that said 'Are you serious?' which made him gulp.
"Yeah, It is that bad" he said now without a hint of seriousness as he is now shaking trying to hold his laughter. "Don't worry let's go the barber and make it so it isn't 'that bad' " he said while holding his laughter which eventually he released when he went outside so he wouldn't wake up Raiha or Itsuki.
"Thanks for listening Dad... Also I'm not dyeing my hair." he said to his father to which he got disappointed for a second that he won't be seeing his son blonde again but atleast he'd have the same hairstyle as him.
Although their was someone eavesdropping their conversation behind a door to someone's room,"Uesugi-kun is... quitting?" the eavesdropper said under her breath.
A/N: Well I tried \_(ツ)/ but I do hope you enjoy this one. I might introduce new characters next chapter but I don't keep promises. Anyways farewell and have a great day/night. This one will be slowly updated.
