"Honk hooooonk"

The alarm bellows through the empty rooms of the blue interior pineapple walls all known too well. It acts as the first heartbeat of the day, bringing life to a dreary shelter.

SpongeBob's eyes pry open. Gunk and morning eye dew greeting him to this new day.

He grabs a bottle of liquor and gulps

"Morning Gare bear"

Two eyes poke out the crusted shell and a sickly "Mao" piped out.

SpongeBob took one last sip and threw the bottle on the wall

"Fuck it's Monday…that goddamn crab is gonna be all up in my coochie I just know it"

"Mao"

"Ok i get it you're hungry Jesus one sec"

SpongeBob slinks down the stairs as he puts on his uniform and heads to the kitchen cabinets. Laundry, cups, bowls, plates, trash, food, drinks, cigarettes, pill bottles, ketchup packets, and liquor bottles decorate the downstairs as much as the upstairs. It's hard to tell where the kitchen begins and the bedroom ends. Like SpongeBob gives a care.

He reaches for a doorless cabinet and molests the shelf for one last can.

"Gotcha fucker"

He rips open the can and plops the slop into a chipping bowl,

"Mao"

"Alright Gary"

SpongeBob pulls out a light and cig and promptly lights up as he goes outside to fetch the paper.

"County commissioner found guilty in minor sex trafficking scheme…ugckh… this is why I don't vote"

He took another long drag of his dart while walking inside and shut the door. He tore the headline of the paper and nailed it to the wall with the hammer and nails found near the shuttered tv stand. Alongside it was dozens of other headlines nailed along the wall all featuring equally absurd authority slander. 'Pastor found dead in brothel' 'School Principal caught selling dope to students behind bowling alley' 'CEO apologies for accidental third world slavery working conditions'

SpongeBob rubs his stubble as he glances over the headlines, takes another puff, and pulls out his wang.

He moans in ecstasy as he glances over the corrupted printed news once more. Every stroke building up and up and

"Mnnhhuhh"

"Where's that damn towel?"

Spongebob headed to work in his beat-up black shoes. He used to carpool with Squidward, but they are currently not speaking much to each other. You see Spongebob borrowed a fifty from the squid and it has been two months and no payment has returned. Squidward stopped giving rides after a week of excuses.

"Your broke ass can walk to work"

"But that's a mile away what the fuck!"

"Plenty of opportunity to find dimes and nickels then"

Spongebob hated his slimy guts and was already wanting the day to be over.

He walked in between the glass doors and straight to the back. Mr. Krabs was in the office diddling himself and Squidward nowhere to be seen. SpongeBob went to go turn on the fryers, the ovens, and the proofer. Laid out the condiments and sauces and started prepping the meat.

He was growing more irritated and tired of each tick on the ticking clock. He scratched his lips and rubbed his hands dry and went out back to the dumpster. Under the bin behind the front left wheel, he kept a ten-dollar bill for emergencies. He knew he owed Squidward but fuck him and his special needs ass. Spongebobs gonna get high.

Spongebob walked into his boss's office to the stench of unwashed skin and ensure shakes.

"Ahoy lad what can I help ya with?"

Mr. Krabs still rocked his chubby look and eyes soaked in greed. His smile is a little smaller nowadays, but he never tells it in his voice.

Spongebob lit another cigarette and pulled out the tenner from the back of his pants. Promptly then he throws it on the desk.

"Hit me"

Mr. Krabs' puny smile disappeared, and eyelids squinted ever so slight. He let out a sigh, crouched down and pulled out a drawer from his antique desk. A scale, baggie, and box were soon layed out while SpongeBob's eyes watched on in quiet anticipation. One scoop two scoop, red scoop blue scoop. Mr. Krabs weighed a point and slid the fine powder into the bag. His eyes met Spongebobs.

" Y'know this ain't gonna hold ye over through lunch rush me boy"

"I know"

Mr. Krabs stood up and walked over

"And you know its costing me more every week just to spot yer sorry ass"

Spongebob darted his eyes to a crooked nail on the wooden floorboards. Holding a gaze.

"You still owe how much? Care to remind me sir?"

SpongeBob shrugged his shoulders

"I don't know"

"150 to be exact…I'm honestly surprised you paid at all today…"

Spongebob looked up

"I don't give a shit I'll get you your money. Maybe if you didn't pay slave pay, I wouldn't be so behind!"

Mr. Krabs walked up to his face and breathed down his neck. Spongebob couldn't tell what was worse the silence, the BO, or the forehead sweat dripping on his chin.

"Get on your knees"

"What? I'm not-"

Mr. Krabs shoves Spongebob to the floor hurting the frycooks ankle in the process

"You decide dumbass you either suck me cock or my guys and I beat the shit out of you"

Spongebob spits at his face

"Fuck you"

Mr. Krabs whips out his dick and stroked it a bit till he gets a semi

"C'mon boy-o I know it aint the first time for ya…I know how you junkies are ahgahgahagahaghag"

Spongebob stares at his boss's crusty old dick and ponders for a second. He either sucks this dick, get paralyzed, or lose his job and get gang raped at a homeless shelter.

Reluctantly, Spongebob goes downtown and gives his crackhead boss the best head of a lifetime.

After Mr. Krabs finished in his mouth, Spongebob ran out back and tried to get the taste of Mr. Krabs off his tongue.

He washed rinsed and repeated in the employee sink just to be sure.

Afterwards, SpongeBob sat on the floor looking at the baggie. He took a breath and wiped his hands dry once more before laying out the powder on his house key. In the same breath he exalted he holds the key to his nose and takes a big rip.

"Ow fuck"

The coke is burning his nostrils, but those feelings quickly were overcome by the rush of dopamine in his brain.

He stands up and find his balance using the sink then heads on out.

As he walked to the back Squidward walked in late as per usual.

"Late again?"

"Fuck you Spongebob"

Squidward threw on his hat and took post at the register. He opened the draw and started counting the money. Coins then dollars. Always coins than dollars like a sociopath.

Spongebob was about to move on but turned around again.

"It's funny how you have a whole ass car but are still fifteen minutes late like are you hungover or just retarted?"

Squidward glanced over as he shut the register drawer. He took a breath in.

"Spongebob where's my fifty?"

"You'll get it don't cry I have bills to pay you know?"

"Spongebob I'm not an idiot I know your crackhead ass probably has the water and electricity shut off. It's why you and your house stank"

"Pfft says the motherfucker who comes walking in here breathing his halitosis mouth all over like huff huff huff"

Spongebob mimics Squidwards walking a breathes heavy like a dog.

"Oh my fucki- SpongeBob you are such a sad fool i mean look in the mirror once in a while and not your bitch's pocket one either"

Squidward slaps his knee and laughs

Spongebob stops mimicking and turns to face the squid

"Bitch fuck you I'll kick your ass"

"Pfft ok then"

Spongebob shakes his fist and clenches his jaw but the doorbell rang and the start of the lunch run begins walking in.

"Run along back now"

"Ok cash monkey"

Squidward pulls out his opaque water bottle and takes a gulp.

He refreshingly sighs and breathes out the burning vapors.