Introduction

At the lunch line at school Arthur is served a yellow sauce.

Muffy: Eww! That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life! She opens an ornate lunchbox. Luckily our chef prepared my lunch at home for me.

Francine: What a lightweight! There are a lot more disgusting things than Salisbury steak!

Sue Ellen: Yeah, smelly socks! (laughs)

Arthur: Baby diapers.

Buster: Cat whiskers!

Francine+Sue Ellen: Cat whiskers?

Buster: Ugh!

The kids sit down at tables.

Francine: You wanna know what's really, really disgusting?

George comes by with a nosebleed.

George: Er, does anybody have a tissue?

Kids: Eww!

Francine: Hey, can someone help me? I need to bleed all over you!

She fakes a nosebleed.

Kids: (laugh)

George: What? It's just a bloody nose. I can't help it.

Francine: I wanna bleed all over your food!

She squirts ketchup on the table.

Muffy: Stop, you're getting it on my foie gras!

Sue Ellen hands George a paper handkerchief.

George: Thank you.

He walks past Francine.

Prunella: You sound just like him!

Muffy: You're so funny, Francine. Do some more!

Francine: I...just need to, er...contaminate you. Let me wipe...my...nose...

She holds her hand in front of her mouth. Muffy looks shocked.

Muffy: (gasps)

Francine manages to walk a few steps towards the door, then she throws up.

Francine: Bleurgghhh!

Kids: Eww!

The other kids move away from her.

Title Card: Francine Hits A Gong

In the cafeteria, Mrs. MacGrady opens a window, Mr. Ratburn sprays room freshener and Mr. Morris mops the floor. The kids all sit on one end of the room.

Meanwhile, Francine lies in the nurse's room on a couch with a cold towel on her forehead. The nurse takes her temperature.

Nurse said Okay, your temperature is fine and your pulse is fine. You probably just have the twenty-four-hour bug that's been going around.

Francine said What about food poisoning? She sits up.

Nurse said If you had food poisoning, you'd know it. You'd barely be able to move.

Mrs. Frensky comes in.

Francine said It's all right, Mom. I just puked, that's all. In front of the whole school.

She buries her face in her hands. Her mother comforts her. Francine sees several kids at the window.

Prunella said Ahem...

Francine Grrr!

Kids: gasp)

They scatter.

That night, Francine lies in bed. Catherine puts away clothes.

Francine said I told you. The nurse didn't know why I did it. She said I might have a twenty-four-hour bug or something.

Catherine said You are so gonna catch it at school tomorrow. When Lucas Hansen barfed in our fifth grade math class...

Francine said I know! Everybody called him Lucas Pucas.

Catherine said Still do – and that was five years ago.

Francine said Thanks for your concern.

Catherine said I'm just passing on sisterly advice. There's always one barf kid in every class, and you just stepped up to the plate.

Francine said Hey, just 'cause you and your friends like to make fun of people who get sick doesn't mean my friends will!

Catherine said Oh really? Well, tell me this. If someone in your class hurled in front of the whole school, wouldn't you make fun of them? And just think what'll happen if you hurl again.

She pats Francine's head.

Francine sighs) She buries her face in her pillow.

In her dream, Francine walks alone to school. The corridors are deserted.

Francine said Hmm... Where is everyone?

She turns around a corner and sees the kids crowded around a podium on which Muffy is standing.

Kids chatter)

The rat boy gives Muffy an envelope.

Muffy said And the Disgusting Person Of The Year Award goes to... Barfine Fre... (gasps)

Kids: (gasp)

The kids notice Francine and quickly put on surgical masks.

Muffy said Sorry, Barfine, but we've got to think of our health!

Kids: (laugh)

Mr. Ratburn comes.

Mr. Ratburn said Stop it, all of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Come with me, Miss Frensky. leads Francine into a metal room and closes a strong metal door behind her.

Mr. Ratburn said You'll feel much more at home in here, I think. He locks the door.

Francine notices three desks with chairs that are all welded to the floor. George sits on one tending to a nosebleed.

George said Hi, Barfine, welcome to class.

Francine Augh!

The dream ends.

Francine gasps)

Catherine opens the curtains.

Catherine said Hey, Francine - time for school.

Kids play in front of the school. Mrs. Frensky has brought Francine.

Mrs. Frensky said If you're not feeling well, honey, call me and I'll pick you up.

Francine said Don't worry, Mom, I'm fine!

Mrs. Frensky leaves.

Muffy said Francine!

Muffy, Michel , Sue Ellen and Buster come running.

Francine said Oh, no.

Muffy said How are you feeling?

Sue Ellen said Are you okay?

Michel We were really worried about you.

She looks angry, the other kids look confused.

Muffy said What?

Francine said Is that all?!

Buster said No. Hope this makes you feel better. He hands her some flowers.

Francine said You're kidding, right?

Muffy said Kidding? What do you mean?

Francine said Oh, come on! Ooh...! She holds her hand in front of her mouth. Excuse me! She runs off.

Michel said What's with her?

Buster said I knew we should've gotten candy instead.

Francine runs down a corridor and into a cubicle in the girls' room.

Francine: (pants) Okay... I'm okay. As she is about to leave, Muffy and Sue Ellen come in.

Muffy said Francine, what's wrong?!

Francine said Nothing. See you in class.

She walks out and almost bumps into George.

George said Er, hi.

Francine: (gulps) She runs back into the girls' room. Muffy and Sue Ellen are standing at the sink. Francine walks out again.

The third-graders sit in class.

Muffy said Psst! Are you okay?

Francine ignores her. Muffy whispers to Sue Ellen. Francine sees Brain whispering to Michel and Alex to Maria. but not seeing Arthur anywhere .

Francine said Yup, Catherine was right. A paper bag falls on her desk. Buster gestures for her to open it. Gimme a break!

She crumples the bag and throws it at Buster.

Mr. Ratburn said Settle down back there!

Everybody looks at Francine. Her stomach rumbles.

Francine sits alone at a table in the school cafeteria. Muffy, Jenna and Fern join her.

Muffy said Hey, Francine, we've been looking all over for you.

Francine said Sometimes I like to eat alone.

Buster and Michel join them.

Buster said You didn't like the candy, huh?

Francine said What candy?

Buster said In the bag you crumpled up and threw at me.

Francine said Oh, you mean the barf bag?

Buster said Barf bag? Aw, I knew we should've gotten her a comic book instead.

The boys walk on.

Muffy said We're just trying to be nice. We care about you.

Francine said Pah.

Prunella said Hey, Francine, did the nurse say why you got sick?

Francine said It's some sort of a bug.

George sits down at the table. He has a nosebleed again. The girls, except Francine, slide away from him.

Francine: (retches) The girls slide away from her in George's direction. Aha! See?! I knew it.

Muffy said Knew what?

Francine said I was testing you. You do think I'm disgusting! And you're just waiting for me to puke again so you can make fun of me!

Buster chuckles)

He is sitting several tables away and not taking any notice of Francine.

Francine: said I heard that! Well, go ahead - laugh! Come on, all of you! Here I am – laugh! Nobody laughs. You know what's more disgusting than someone puking in the cafeteria? Phonies!

She leaves the table.

Binky said Hey, I've been wanting to tell you all day how cool that was! I've never seen anybody hurl like that! You rock!

Francine said Finally, someone who's honest. Come on, Binky, let's get another table.

The girls look confused. Binky grins.

Francine comes home. Catherine is reading on the couch.

Catherine said So, were you the talk of the school?

Francine: (sighs)

Catherine said Did they laugh at you?

Francine: (sighs

Catherine said Call you "Barfine"?

Francine gasps) Where'd you hear that name?

Catherine said Seems logical. "Pukine" lacks poetry and "Ralphine" is... too confusing.

Francine goes into her room, sits on a chair and cries.

Francine sobs)

Outside the window, George drives past Prunella and a cat girl from another third-grade class.

Prunella said Eww! Incoming!

Cat Girl said He's got my vote for Disgusto Of The Year!

Prunella said You mean Disgusto Of The Century!

Girls laugh)

Francine rides to George's house and rings the doorbell.

Francine said Hi, George... George looks around nervously. There's nobody else, just me. Want to get a milkshake?

George said Why?

Francine said That's what friends do.

George said We're friends?

Francine said Sure.

George smiles briefly, then looks around again. Francine is smiling.

At the Sugar Bowl Francine drinks a lemonade. George has not touched his drink and is still looking around.

Francine said So, George, now that we're such good friends, may I ask you a question?

George said Oh, I knew it. Here it comes.

Francine said How do you take it? Being laughed at, I mean.

George said I have to go now. It's not safe here.

He tries to go, but she grabs him by the hand.

Francine said No, I'm serious. I mean, since people laugh at both of us now...

George said Nobody laughs at you.

Francine said Well, not to my face, but I know...

George said They're not laughing at you.

Francine said Of course they are! Puking is twenty times worse than a bloody nose. Why would they laugh at you and not...

George looks sad.

George said Because you're popular.

Francine looks surprised.

Francine said Oh. Well... that's not fair.

George said Uh-huh. Now, if you'll excuse me. I really have to go.

Francine said Why?

We hear the door opening. George points.

Francine: (gasps) The other kids are standing in the sugar bowl, staring at Francine and George. Francine looks nauseous. Excuse me!

She runs to the bathroom. On her way she bumps into George, causing his nose to bleed.

George said Oh no!

Kids: Ew!

In the bathroom Francine heaves dry over the toilet bowl, then relaxes. She hears voices.

Muffy said That is so disgusting, George!

Kids: (laugh)

Francine goes back with a resolved look on her face.

Francine said Leave him alone!

Muffy said What?!

Francine said He's no more disgusting than I am. He can't help it if he gets nosebleeds.

Buster said to Michel I think we just entered the fourth dimension.

Muffy said Oh, Francine, you poor thing, you really are sick! Come and sit down.

Francine said No! It's not fair! George's nose bleeds and everybody laughs. I barf, and Buster gives me flowers and candy!

Buster said And a comic book!

He holds up a Bionic Bunny comic.

Francine said I'll tell you who's disgusting. We are!

Muffy gasps)

Francine walks out past the others. George is still holding a napkin to his nose. The others simultaneously offer him handkerchiefs.

Kids said Want a tissue?

George said Er...

Muffy said Don't worry, George. If Francine says it, it must be so!

George takes a handkerchief and smiles.

Francine cycles home. She stops.

Francine said Wow! I don't feel nauseous anymore!