Been a while since I last published something! This story started off as a crack idea but ended up actually working out so- yeah, I am having a lot of fun writing it. Before you start reading though, I'd like to put out a warning that if you love the characters of Twilight that you might not like this story. There will be quite a bit of Bella bashing and Jerry bashing… Mainly done by Morticia.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight sage or Rick and Morty- they belong to Stephanie Meyer and Warner Bros respectfully.


Chapter 1: Moving on

Jerry's pov:

"-Washington is going to be amazing. Just you wait 'ticia, we're going to be just fine! Sightseeing from the Space Needle… doing some hikes… and, uh… smelling the- the fresh air…" Jerry awkwardly trailed off despite his attempt to sound enthusiastic for his youngest daughter.

The past few weeks had been difficult for the both of them. Only a month or so ago, Beth and- Well… they ended up getting a divorce. One that was long coming if he were completely honest, though he hated to admit it. Jerry himself believed that the return of Rick into his wife's- into his late wife's life was the massive fucking bolder that set off the tipping point though. Before Rick came back things used to be more… manageable. He wouldn't go as far as to say he was happy with the life he had but really who would be if they had to work their ass off every day of the week only to come home to a drunk disagreeing wife and three- admittedly- unimpressive and uncaring kids?

But it had been manageable and he had an entire room- his Jerry cave- in which he could wind down and just allow himself some well deserved attention and relaxation.

But then Rick came back and started to live in their house, taking their guestroom as his own and completely taking over the garage- Jerry's garage for his stupid experiments and toys. Taking up all of his son's time- whom had admittedly been Jerry's favorite child- and then he even had the nerve to turn his Beth against him? That selfish bastard took absolutely everything from him!

Beth had kicked him out of his own house and she kept their kids for herself, stating that moving them out would make it even harder for them to cope with the divorce… Which- yeah, okay, was understandable. But that didn't mean he was happy about it.

And then, just as he was starting to get used to having moved back in again with his parents- Jacob had admittedly been really helpful to make him feel welcome despite the fact that the black man's relationship with his parents still made Jerry highly uncomfortable- Rick, of-fucking-course, blew up the entire fucking house with himself and the family still in it.

Whatever hope Jerry had left to rebuild his and Beth's relationship, whatever sliver of a change that he possibly had to get his old life back had completely vanished. Even his priced R2D2 coin collection had melted in the heat of the flames! Everything- everything he loved and held dear was gone because of his dick of a father-in-law. If it hadn't been for his parents- and Jacob's- support and the fact that his youngest daughter had survived and was now in his care… He truly didn't want to imagine what he would have done if that were the case…

"We can do all those things gradually dad- there's no rush. We're going to be there for a while anyway…" Morticia replied absently.

Worry built up in his stomach as Jerry shifted so what uncomfortably in his seat. He coughed and looked elsewhere to try and play it off as him just settling in for the long flight. Conversation with his youngest daughter had become more difficult since the divorce- it was a bit comparable to how he and Summer used to talk to one other. Although Summer tended to use a meaner tone and she generally seemed to be dismissive towards Jerry, despite the fact that he was her father and she should respect him because of it... Morticia actually seemed to be just as dismissive now if not more… The only difference being that the young girl didn't have any fire behind her words. It was just flat now and a far cry from the sweet and supportive girl that she used to be. Jerry was sure she would come around though… Well, at least he hoped she would. He understood that the younger girl was having a hard time with the loss of their family and that she needed time to grief. He needed time to grief too so he could sympathize. But he missed the girl who used to love spending time with him, who did her chores without complaint and even tended to go ahead and cook dinner or take up a part time job just because she knew that it would end up helping the family. He just hoped that his idea to move would turn out to be agreeable for the both of them. Admittedly, he hadn't put a lot of thought behind it. The moving idea was originally orchestrated by him as a means to treat himself a bit as he hadn't really been able to enjoy himself as much since the divorce left him pretty much broke. Morticia hadn't mind letting him take his pick in where they would move either- though Jerry had felt compelled to throw a dart at a world map anyway- if only to cheer up his daughter a bit. He had hit a bull's-eye on Forks which was a backwater town in the top left corner of Washington. Jerry had cheered since he actually managed to hit the map and although 'tish hadn't smiled- she had allowed him to high five her. He had taken that and the fact that she hadn't allowed him to re-do his throw as her acceptance of their destination. And that had been all the encouragement Jerry needed to set his moving plan in motion, and from there on out almost everything just seemed to fall in place for them. Jerry was convinced that it was the fates giving them a clear sign that this was the right choice for them. That this was exactly what they needed to properly move on from their loss and start on the rest of their lives. And they had him to thank for it.

Jerry smirked as he lazily crossed his arms and let himself sink further into his chair. Yes, his life was finally going the way he wanted it to go. Not only was he moving to one of the states which he had actually been wanting to visit for a camping trip. He even managed to bring one of his kids with him- which was in all honesty one more than he expected to have after Beth divorced him. And- since he wasn't married anymore- he now had the opportunity to act like a proper bachelor again!

Jerry sighed and dreamily stared out of the tiny airplane window as the fluffy clouds passed them by; blissfully unaware of his daughter crossing off another box on her tablet as she observed her oblivious father in the seat next to her.


Morticia pov:

It was already night time when their taxi drove into Forks and Morticia couldn't have been more thankful for the torture to have ended. Having to sit next to her father for well over five hours had done some serious damage to her patience and if she had to listen to one more second of his titanic rambling, she wouldn't be responsible for whatever might happen to him.

Their taxi driver seemed to be in much the same mindset as Morticia if his facial expression was anything to go by. She should probably give the guy a good tip for not leaving them somewhere at the side of the road. Jesus- she knew Jerry could be annoying but having to be in his proximity for a multitude of hours honest to god made her want to say fuck it and throw her entire plan…

But they were finally in Forks, Washington, and the worst of the moving was thankfully over. The taxi driver had hit the brakes rather abruptly once they got to the right address and all but barked for her father and her to grab their bags and get out. Jerry threw an insulted look over his shoulder as he stepped out of the vehicle, slamming the car door harder than was really necessary. Morticia heaved a tired sigh and dug into the pocket of her new parka to take out a wad of cash. "Sorry about him-" She hurriedly told the taxi driver, "and thanks for not dumping us somewhere along the way."

The taxi driver took a double take at the money she handed him and send her a look of wonder and stupefaction, "Wha-?"

"Really, keep it, it's a tip- you've far exceeded my expectations. Good job." And then Morticia crawled out of the taxi herself and went to join her father in collecting their bags from the trunk.

"Can you believe that guy? Honestly, he didn't speak the entire ride here and then he's suddenly all rude and actually demands us to get out? We're his customers! We're paying him to- you know what? No. I'm not paying that ill-mannered dick! You hear that?!" Jerry angrily called out to the taxi driver as he stuck his head further into the trunk. "You hear!? I'm not paying you jack-shit!"

"Yeah, yeah." The driver answered disinterested with a slight have of his hand, he hadn't even bothered to turn around. Morticia snorted at the driver's complete lack of interest and her father sent her a look of complete betrayal.

Quickly deciding that she didn't want to listen to Jerry complain for the rest of the night, she grabbed the last bag from the trunk and went on ahead to make her way to the front door of their new home. "Come on Je- dad. Let's not let one guy ruin our entire night."

"But Morticia, he-" Jerry started heatedly but then noticed that neither the taxi driver nor his daughter seemed to pay his outburst any attention and that he was slowly getting soaked by the rain, he huffed out in annoyance and threw the back of the driver one last stink eye before slamming the trunk with all his might. The satisfaction he felt from 'getting the last word' so to speak, only lasted a millisecond as the driver immediately took off and mud was splattered all up jerry's legs. Jerry ran into the street with his fist raised and cursed loudly at the taxi. Meanwhile Morticia was silently snickering as she opened up the front door with her house key. She didn't bother waiting for her father to burn up his energy before heading inside and out of the rain; she did however mind to leave the door open for the idiot.

The new house had been picked out by her father- though there honestly wasn't much to choose from in this backwater town. The houses that had been available- and would fit a small family of two- here in Fork were only a whopping three houses. Two of which actually had the exact same framework as the other. Morticia hadn't cared the slightest which house they were going to be living in and had opted to settle for an arrangement with Jerry to essentially give him free reign to take his pick at the house.

He chose for one of the identical ones but decided on the newest of the two, firmly believing he had obviously picked the best option. The house was decent in Morticia's eyes, even though she wasn't quite sure yet if she was much a fan of all the trees growing around their neighborhood. There was a rather spacey garage standing detached to the left of the house with the exact same off white planks covering the entire thing and dark grey roof tile plates like the house had. The house itself was set on a raised platform with two stories and what seemed an attic with a slanted roof. Without as much as a second thought, Morticia started to make her way around the house. She had- of course- already checked out the house beforehand but it couldn't hurt to be extra careful. The rooms weren't any different then how she pictured them though and she slowly felt herself unwind in the slightly unfamiliar territory.

The house was okay for as far as a house went. Morticia had her own room again- shacking up with her dad at her grandparents place had been hell- and she now also the proud owner of the garage seeing as that was a part of the arrangement with Jerry. She felt so what content for the first time in a very long while.

Jerry had sloshed into the house whilst Morticia made her round and had apparently decided to continue his fuming in the shower, leaving his bags for Morticia to take care off. Rolling her eyes she picked up her father's bags and slung them over her shoulder, then took a hold of her own and started to march her way up the stairs. Later that evening Morticia excused herself after dinner with the excuse of being tired from the flight and retreated into her new bedroom as she expertly ignored her dad's whines of not wanting to do the dishes. She closed her bedroom door and quietly went to open her duffle bag.

Part C-7 of her new settlement plan was officially a go.


Chapter 2 is already on its way!