[] Hi, its my first Loud House story, and its a tale of shopping, insanity, and eventually a potential romance between Ronnie Anne & Lincoln Loud. Who could imagine finding love in the busiest shopping day of the summer in Royal Woods. And yes, it is sort of based on The Hunger Games. At least the madness part. And unlike the Hunger Games, no one will die. []
Chapter 1: The Shopping Games
It would be a calm warm summer day in Royal Woods; as Lincoln was watching a live special of the Shopping Games on his laptop. Mayor Davis, who looked like Lillie Brinket (Effie Trinket), with her black hair with white streaks. In addition to a stunning aquamarine puffy dress addressed the shoppers. "As we venture into the Lion's Den, may the gods of savings look upon you and give you the strength to shop until you drop! Happy Shopping Games, and may the discounts, be ever in your favor!" Lori looked over at her brother and couldn't believe him. "How you could watch this barbaric sport?" Lincoln would reply to his eldest sister. "Because for the first time in like forever, none of us will have to venture into the Lions Den for savings." Lori realized that and nods. But had to remind him of his bedtime. "Well just don't stay up too late, you still have to go to bed soon." He nods and replies "I will" As Lori left, he would stand up and face the fourth wall; as if he were talking to an audience.
"Ah the Shopping Games. Aka the prequel to black Friday. Back in the days, most of the stores in Royal Woods would have a problem selling out stuff from the summer/fall season. Inspired by the popular teen movie - The Killing Games; they turn the lackluster shopping experience into the craziest day ever. All items 50% off and coupons are accepted. Basically anyone looking for a last second item for cheap; will brave the massive crowds of Royal Woods to get them. Now, our family has 'unfortunately' entered the Lion's Den and let's just say most of us; the ones that were old enough to venture into the Lion's Den on our own, had a few mishaps."
He would turn on the 'tv screen', as he would show the audience the mishaps. "First our mom shopping for last minute school supplies. And let's just say hide your eyes." It was 6 years ago and Rita was in the stationary aisle as she was grabbing the last calculator; when another mom had her hand on it as well. "Sorry missy I was here first." The other mom glared at her, not letting go of the calculator. "Sorry darling, but my son needs that right now!" Both moms glared before each trying to pull the calculator; before the two ended up in a full on wrestling match. The other patrons cheered on, as both grab and slapped each other with yard rulers. Eventually after two minutes of ruler play; Rita ducked the next swing of the ruler; and gave the mom a super kick to the head. She grabbed the calculator before leaving. Not before wincing in pain from bruises and welts from those ruler shots.
Lincoln gulped as that was rough. "Well I said this the Lion's Den. Any who, next up is Lori and considering how she looks; she's a mean shopper." Lincoln would show the next scene; 5 years ago, with Lori at the Sporting good section; looking for a baseball glove for Lynn Jr. and when she finds the right one; her rival Carol Pingrey would be right there to snatch it. Lori, peeved snatched it from Carol. "Back off Carol, this is for my sister." Carol chuckled as she thought the glove is for Lori. "How funny, I thought it would be a mask for your face." Lori growled as she would shove Carol to the golf clubs; before Carol grabbed a 6 iron club. Carol grinned as she was about to swing at Lori. "Fore!" Lori ducked and moved to grab a 7 iron club. "Looks like we have a duel." Carol smiled as she would toss a golf ball before swinging. "Keep your eye on the ball Lori, FORE!" Carol swings and Lori ends up with a black eye.
Lincoln winced as he couldn't look again. "And that's how the rivalry between Lori and Carol began. Moving on to Leni, and sweet and gentle Leni wouldn't be caught dead shopping for a last minute deal. But when she heard they were selling the Goodbye Kitty doll; everything changed. He would show the next scene and it was 4 years ago, and Leni was walking with her cat ears; was eager to get the dolls. But when she saw the bedlam, rushed to grab a Goodbye Kitty Beach edition. "I totes Lori I was going to get this!" As she celebrated, another shopper grabbed it from her hands. And sweet Leni glared at the shopper and chased her like a cheetah. Just as she was close to the target; the shopper dodged and Leni dove into a pile of watermelons. "Oh, I don't got it. Poor kitty won't go home with me."
Lincoln shook his head and knew it was bad. "Poor Leni, took her over a month to get over not getting that doll. But luckily for her she would get it around Christmas time. But she vowed revenge some day. (Lincoln would show on the next scene a picture of Luna) Now Luna Loud is the musician and the wild child rocker. Now you would think she would get in and out in one piece. (He winced for that brief moment) Unfortunately, she learned that Royal Woods have lots of Mick Swagger fans." He would click play and it was 3 years ago, and Luna was amped to shop for the Mick Swagger Autobiography. It was a limited edition autobiography, as only 200 are autographed by Mick Swagger himself. "Dude! (She saw the display and couldn't contain herself; given she's a life long Mick Swagger fan.) Stage dive into my heart!" As she got the autobiography, she realized she grabbed the last autographed book and was now being chased by Mick Swagger fans. "Dude what the heck! (She could hear from the other fans "We want Mick Swagger!") Bogus man, I have the last autographed copy of Mick Swagger!" She would move back and forth and managed to escape most of the madness. But just as she would get to the register, she got clocked with a guitar shot to the head. She was out cold; but still had the book clutched to her hand like a vice. "Bogus"...
Lincoln sighed, and had to explain. "Well Luna was in the hospital and diagnosed with a coma. When she woke up in a few days later, she acted and sound like Mick Swagger. (He chuckled at that part.) In fact the real Mick came over and (He would show a picture of Luna and Mick in the hospital.) to say a priceless moment is an understatement. But Luna got her memory back and is back to her old self." Luna would yell from her room "It was well worth it bro!" Lincoln laughed but moved on to the next scene. "Uh the next scene, I cannot show all because the case is still pending. And there is nothing funny about what Luan did on her shopping trip." The screen would show Luan and Mr. Coconuts from 2 years ago; looking for art supplies. More importantly an French face paint set that never sold; until it was featured on a social media feed. Now the face paint kit is nearly sold out. Luan was desperate and had to get it. "Mr. Coconuts, are you sure it's around here?" She would control her favorite puppet and pitch her voice; which is a falsetto. "I'm sure it's around. Not my fault I'm only 16 inches tall here." Eventually they would find the face paint kit on display as she had to rush over. But couldn't help herself, while making a pun. "There's a sale on citrus fruit at the grocery store; It's for a lime-eted time only!" She laughed at herself as Mr. Coconuts bopped her head. "Focus, remember about the face paint!" Luan nods as she would go into a tug-of-war with another shopper for the kit. "Let go! I got here first!" The other shopper glanced over and grabbed Mr. Coconuts and bashed Luan's head. Luan got the kit, but saw her friend without a head. "MR. COCONUTS!" She looked at her headless friend, before grabbing a pineapple and the screen turns black.
Lincoln shuddered as he had to explain. "Well needless to say, the rest can't be shown until the case gets settled." He suddenly hears Luan yelling in her room. "That shopper had it coming!" He shook his head in disbelief "Luan, remember case pending." He could hear murmuring, but knew it was for the best. He sighed and had to show the last scene. "Well anyway, Lynn Jr. or LJ was the superstar athlete of the family. You would think she would be the one to come out unharmed. Well..." It was last year and LJ would open the doors as she was pumped up. "Whose ready for a shopping beatdown!" As a pumped up LJ would walk a few steps, she was launched into a display case of macaroni and cheese. "What the!?" She saw Scoots in her scooter looking over at the display. "Move it slowpoke! No superstar is going to stop me from getting my pudding." LJ screamed in disbelief as she saw she had a bruise. "NO!" The screen turns off, as Lincoln could remember that day well. "Not only did LJ got hurt from entering the store; I was out 10 bucks, when I bet Lisa LJ would make it out in one piece." Lisa appeared, adjusting her glasses. "I don't understand the soliloquy you constantly put on. But I can't help but feel sorry for my eldest brother; to whom made a ridiculous bet against me." Lincoln pouted as he would chat with his younger sister. "Come on Lisa, a 25 to 1 odds that LJ was going to survive was too good not to take that bet. Besides I ended up with soap in my mouth for swearing!" Lisa smirked as she patted her brother's back gently. "Once again, any illogical person that takes those odds are doom to fail. Good luck with your soliloquy." Lisa walks out of her brother's room; But had a grin on her face, as apparently she made a killing in that wager. In fact, she nearly won $150 from that bet.
Lincoln sighed as he would finish his piece. "Of course we hope no-one would dare have to shop in the Lion's Den tomorrow. But with our luck, the only eligible person that would be able to shop tomorrow would be my dad, Lynn Sr." Lynn Sr. heard that and panicked. "But son, why would I be shopping tomorrow?" Lincoln would answer: "For starters, anyone who shops at the Lion's Den has to be 12 or older. Plus anyone 11 and under would need a parent to shop with." Lori would chime in "And besides, we asked you EVERY time, and you always found a way to get out of shopping." Luna would put her two cents in "Sorry Pops, but if we have to shop, you're the one that has to face the music." Luan chuckled at that slight pun "Good one Sis! But anyway dad, it's you or no stuff in the house." Lynn Sr. tried to once again weasel his way out of this. "But you guys?" The Loud Sisters would have none of that. "NO BUTS DAD! YOU'RE SHOPPING!" Lynn Sr. looked to his wife for support. "Hun? Help?" Yet Rita, the only Loud whose name doesn't start with an L; had to chime in. "Sorry hun, it took me weeks and a lot of long sleeve shirts to finally feel comfortable to show my arms. I'm sure no-one needs anything for tomorrow." Lynn Sr. gulped as he hoped no-one truly needs anything. Lincoln would once again try to finish his piece. "As mentioned, if we are to shop it would be Dad's turn. But hopefully no-one would need anything for tomorrow. Well I hope you got the information on Royal Woods craziest shopping day."
Early in the morning, about 6am, there was a loud scream; as it would came from Lori and Leni's room. Everyone rushed to check up on the two as they thought something terrible happened. Their mom Rita would ask her daughters on the situation. "Girls, what's wrong?" Lori looked all over and was looking around for something important. "I'm out of pads!" Leni would nod and reply. "I'm out too. And I think I'm going to be draining the U-Train." Clearly she means her period involving the uterus. But Luna and Luan gasped as they soon realized and ran to their rooms and they too were in disbelief. "Wicked bad news mates, me and Luan are out of pads too." Luna chimed in as Lynn Jr would rushed to her room and found no pads either. "This blows, I'm out of pads too. I thought we had an emergency reserve of pads." Rita nods, but palms her face in disbelief. "I think I know why were all out of pads. Remember last week's flood?" The girls nods as they remember that day.
A flashback to last week and it was a major storm in Michigan; and Royal Woods was at the center of a massive storm that produced at least 15 to 20 inches. Rita was getting the family prepared for Outages and the worst case scenario. "Everyone, turn off your devices now. We have to save power in our devices just in case we lose electricity!" As the family scrambles, Lynn Sr. rushed upstairs as his feet were wet already. "Everyone the basement is flooded!" Everyone knew the drill, get the buckets and create a brigade to keep the water out. As they started the water brigade, Lori had a maxi pad in her back pocket, fell and the pad absorbed a lot of water on that spot. They gasped as Lisa was curious about this revelation. "It would seem this pad created an absorption rate far beyond the recommended manufacturers suggested..." She was cut off as Lynn Jr. came up with an idea. "If that one pad can absorb a lot of water in one shot. Why not toss in our pads to keep the basement dry." That was ingenious but knew they would have to buy more pads later on. Rita couldn't believe what she said was this. "I'll make pads out of cotton balls and toilet tissue, lets do it!" And soon Lori, Leni, Rita, Luan, Lynn Jr., and Luna would grab their feminine pads and toss them in the basement. The plan worked and their basement was almost bone dry. Of course mopping is a must.
Back to the present, Lynn Sr. gulped as he feared the worst. And was on his knees begging for mercy. "No no no no! Not today. Can't you girls hold out for one more day?" Lori wasn't hearing that. "No way dad, I'm not going to the dry cleaners again to get blood stains out of my cargo shorts again." Luna would chime in. "Sorry pops, but for most of us today is that day." He gulped as he knew his time would come to face the music. Rita would pat his shoulders gently and smiled. "Hun its just 12 packs of our usual Dr. Ruth's feminine pads. And outside of a bunch of shoppers; who would head to aisle 12 for pads?" She could hear him whimper as she knew he was trying to weasel his way out of it. "But hun?" Rita shook her head and would head to her bedroom to get dressed. "We've been over this time and time again. You're going in the Lion's Den this year, end of discussion!" Lynn Sr. sighed as he headed to the bedroom as well to prepare for his 'execution'. The kids would get on their knees and pray for their father as they knew no-one enters and leaves unscathed.
At 8am, breakfast would be served as Rita would grab her thermos of coffee; and would hand her hubby the coupons and the money. "Don't worry, (She would kiss his cheek gently) you should have plenty of money for 12 packs of pads. And you can keep the change afterwards." She waves goodbye as she had to rush out for work. The kids waved goodbye, as they would see a sad Lynn Sr., waving goodbye as he was not ready for what is about to happen to him.
An hour later, Lynn Sr. saw the text on his cellphone from one of his friends Kotaro; informing him of a traveling cowbell band stopping at Royal Woods Park today. This was something he couldn't pass up. And he had to make the most reckless, and foolish decision of his life as a parent. "Lincoln, get dress were going out for a ride!" Lincoln rushed downstairs and headed out the door. He thought he would be going out for something special.
But as vanzilla pulled out, he got the news and gulped. "Dad are you nuts? It's literally sending me to the slaughter house!" Lynn Sr. knew and tried to reason with his son. "Please it's the biggest cowbell band in all the world. And I'm sure that you'll be fine in there. Besides the senior citizens had their turn already." That last part he said with a semi-convincing smile. Lincoln sighed as he knew he may be writing his last will in testament. "Alright dad, I'll take one for the team. (Dad was ever so happy. But Lincoln was not going in without a favor.) But you owe me big. I'm already non eligible and sneaking in is dangerous." Once they arrived at the shopping center; Dad would hand his son the money and coupons. "Whatever is left, you can keep the change." Just as Lincoln was going to ask him for advice; Vanzilla left. Lincoln looked on as he would gather himself and slaps his cheeks. "You can do this. It's just like shopping on half off Wednesdays at Flips!" He spoke to himself or rather trying to build courage; as he knew this was the entrance into the Lion's Den.
He would see some carts and tried to grab one; but was mobbed by a group of bridesmaids who just got out of their limousine a second ago. "Oh Come On!" He shouted as there was one cart left. But as he pulled the cart; it wobbled and was at times hard to maneuver. "Dang It!" He said so, knowing his 'luck' was fickle. Just as he managed to get inside; he and the cart were slammed in the display case of paper towels; by an elderly lady in her scooter. "Eat my dust slowpoke!" Scoots didn't give a damn as she apparently was up for another round of shopping.
Lincoln got up and felt a bruise on his side. But considering how LJ (Lynn Jr.) tackles him, this was nothing. And it seemed the little collision got the wobble out of his cart. "Well, that's more like it. Now I'm looking for Dr. Ruth's feminine pads. (He spoke to himself, as he would look at the aisle signs and saw that feminine hygiene was on aisle 12.) Alright, just you and me against the world. Here I go!" Just as he saw aisle 12, it was jammed. "Dang it!" He said to himself as he tried to slide into aisle 11. And again the same jammed aisle. "Come on!" Again, frustrated as he would try each aisle before ending up in the produce section.
He was clearly upset by the current situation. But he had remembered some advice, given by his teacher Agnes, from from his shopping days at Flip's: "Always the motion in the ocean, when traveling down the aisles." He nods and as he was about to get going; he would run into another shopper. The last thing he needed was a confrontation. As he looked over, he gasped and saw a familiar face. "Ronnie Anne! What are you doing here?" Ronnie Anne breathed a sighed of relief, as she saw her friend. "Hey Lame-o, long time no see. I guess we're both sacrificial lambs out in the slaughterhouse." He chuckled as he felt at ease to have a friend to team up. "Well my sister's need feminine pads and." He was cut off as Ronnie Anne seemed to have the same idea. "Dr. Ruth's feminine pads?"
Lincoln nods but questioned her. "But why shop here? I thought the Mercado (family store) were selling the pads." Ronnie Anne chuckled and replied "Well yes, but you know my Abuelo (Grandpa); He charges the stuff like crazy. In addition, my Tia (aunt) Frida needed her pads after she accidentally cried on her pads." Lincoln laughed as he couldn't believe it. But understood the reason. "Any injuries so far Ronnie Anne?" She nods and points to her side. "Yea, Scoots is on the warpath. I got in and immediately flew into the paper towel display." Lincoln nods and lifts his shirt to show his bruise. "I guess we're both in the same boat. Also got mobbed by bridesmaids just to get a cart." She laughed as she couldn't help but smile at her friend. They saw the aisles ease up and they had to move fast. "Alright Lame-o, let's hurry up before we end up in the ER." He nods as the two would rush to get to aisle 12.
Meanwhile, back at the Loud residence, Rita Loud would come home early, as she had a light work day. "Kids, I'm home! (She saw her daughters come down, but saw one missing.) Say girls, where's Lincoln?" Luan would answer "He went out with dad. Probably to watch the car from the shoppers." Rita had a bad feeling and would call her husband. Lynn Sr. was at Royal Woods Park, and he was just finished performing with the Moo-Moos. The best cowbell group in the world; when he would pick up his cell phone. "Hello?" Rita would answer "Hey hun, how's the shopping? And how is Lincoln?" Lynn Sr. gulped, as he knew he had to think fast. "Going great hun. Lincoln is ok in the car." He nods, but she would hear Lynn's name in the background. And knew something was off. "Hun, why are people cheering for you? Did you tackle someone for those pads?" Lynn Sr. tried to lie, but the MC would be talking.."Who wants an encore with Lynn and the Moo-Moos!" Rita heard cowbell and cheers; and knew he wasn't shopping. "Lynn Sr., where are you? And WHERE IS OUR SON?" Lynn Sr. gulped and had to tell her. "At the Lion's Den getting the pads." Her blood started to boil as she knew he committed the ultimate sin. "Lynn Sr., you better bring the pads and our son home. Or I'll find a spot to hide your cowbells. (The girls could see mom nearly crack her cellphone and backed up.) And believe me, you won't forget where I'll put those cowbells!" It didn't take a genius for Lynn Sr. to realize he had to go or else. So he rushed out yelling "Sorry, family emergency!" As he rushed to his car, he was hoping that when he would get to the Lion's Den; he would see his son walk out in one piece.
Lori would ask mom what is going on. "Mom what happened? Where's Lincoln?" Rita, still pissed would answer her eldest daughter. "Your father has decided to make Lincoln do the shopping; while he went out to a cowbell festival." The girls gasped as they couldn't believe their dad would send Lincoln into the Lion's Den. Luna in particular was worried about her bro. "Bogus man, Lincoln doesn't stand a chance out there." Lori tried to be optimistic on the situation. "Luna, I'm sure he can handle the chaos. Besides, he'll think this is a zombie apocalypse game." Just as she finished, Lucy pops up in front of her, scaring her in the process. "Well, you have the zombie part right. I have a few spell books to bring our brother back. Assuming he's not already mauled to pieces." Many of the girls shuddered, but not Lynn Jr. who had more confidence in her brother. "Relax Duchess of Darkness. Our bro Lincoln is the 'man with the plan.' I'm sure he'll find a way to escape unscathed." Lisa smirked as she pulled out her chalkboard. "Might want to as they say put your money where your mouth is? Given his height, weight, and lack of physical activity; I give our brother a 75 to 1 odds of survival." Lynn Jr. knew this was another wager. But knew Lincoln had bet on her to survive unscathed. So it was only fair to make the wager. "Okay miss genius, ten bucks for Lincoln to return unscathed. I know he'll return and seal the win." Lisa took the ten bucks, as she laughed. "Don't worry dear sister, the piggy bank shall thank you." Lynn Jr. would look outside the window, hoping her little brother would return in one piece.
Back at the store, Ronnie Anne and Lincoln were just finishing up their haul on the feminine pads; when they heard an angry voice behind them. "Move it slow pokes; other people need pads too!" When they turn around, Lincoln gasped as he saw his teacher Mr. Bolhofner. "Hello Mr. Bolhofner, what brings you here?" Mr. Bolhofner was just as surprised to see two kids here. "Well for starters, manhood test or sacrificial lamb?" Lincoln chuckled as he knew that was coming. "I drew the short straw and ended up here. What about you? Why are you here of all places?" Mr. Bolhofner laughed as he replied. "Well for starters my sister is in town and it's her time of the month. (He would grab the pads and puts them in the cart; before continuing his chat.) Plus, I hear I could get a few MMA equipment at the same time."
Ronnie Anne looked at him; and was naturally scared of him. But Lincoln reassured her he was cool. "Don't worry Ronnie Anne, he's alright once you get to know him." Ronnie Anne nods as she asked him a question. "She, have you faced a gang of wild cats?" Mr. Bolhofner laughed, as he saw the young lass; and knew then that Lincoln was the bodyguard. "Not that I know of. But once skinny dipped in the Amazon River; full of man eating piranhas. Oh that was a swim I'll never forget." He smiled as that was a fun swim. She thought to herself after hearing his swim. "El profesor de lincoln esta loco! (Lincoln's teacher is insane)" Lincoln looked at his watch and knew they had to keep going. "Anywho, we better hurry before the mob kill us." Everyone nods as Mr. Bolhofner would turn the cart around. "Alright you guys, remember if they go in for the kill; always aim low and remember to bite on the ankles." He left as Ronnie Anne looked at Lincoln in disbelief. "Tell me he's not clinically insane." Lincoln chuckled as he would push the cart. "He's not insane. A bit intense, but loves movies and ballroom dancing." She nods as at least she is thankful that he has some good qualities.
Back at the Loud House, the Loud sisters were busy doing their own things. The doorbell would ring and Luna would answer and it was her girlfriend Sam. She saw her in a panic and had to ask. "Say Sam, what's wrong?" Sam was going to have a sleepover with Luna had one problem. "Lunes, is anyone shopping today? Mom and I just ran out of pads; and she's out of town today." Luna knew that the last thing she wanted is to tell anyone shopping; that someone else needs stuff like now. "Sure, I'll give them the message." Sam relieved and kisses her cheek. "Thanks Luna, you're a lifesaver!" Luna smiled, but had to call Lincoln right away. She thought to herself as she made the call. "Sorry bro"
Over at the Casagrandes apartment, Carlota searched in her room; and it was a mess. She clearly was looking for something important. "Mom, who moved my pads?" Frida saw the mess and gulped. "I'm sorry mi hija (daughter), I took the last one. I'm sure su tia y prima (your aunt and cousin) is still out shopping. I'll call them immediately." Carlota nods as she had to look in her closet. "Please tell them this is a major emergency. I have a fashion show to blog and can't be out spotting." Frida nods as she would cry, while making the phone call. "I hope they don't get mad at me!"
Back at the Lion's Den, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne finished with their shopping; and was about to head to the cashier. Only one problem: their phones ringed at about the same time. "Hello? You have to be kidding me. (Both sighed hearing their reasons why they needed more pads.) Alright, we'll get one more set. (As they hung up, both had one thing to say.) Dang it!" Clearly the last thing they wanted is to turn back. But their friends and relatives need their stuff. Lincoln sighed as when he had to pull the cart back; he saw aisle 12 not too jammed. "Looks like if we hurry we can get our last pack of pads." Ronnie Anne nods as she was not looking forward to heading back in. "They just had to call us just as we were leaving." Lincoln chuckled as he heard her complain. "Come on, you know that our luck is the worst." He smiled, as she couldn't help but blush at his optimistic nature.
When they got to the aisle, Mr. Bolhofner and another customer were arguing over the last pack of Dr. Ruth's pads. "You don't need those pads! My sisters need them!" The other guy struggled and didn't let go. "Ah what's a man of your age needing those pads." As the struggle got intense, the two end up bumped into the grocery shelf; That knocked a big box from the top of the grocery shelf. Lincoln saw the box about to fall on Ronnie Anne; and moved quickly to push her put of the falling box. She gasped as she saw the box; and soon saw Lincoln on top of her. "Lincoln?" She blushed as Lincoln did the same; before he would get up and help her up. Mr. Bolhofner went up to the two and apologized. "Sorry about the falling box you two." The other fella apologized as well. But he glanced over and saw the box contain more pads. "Hey, its the Dr. Ruth pads! I'm sure there's enough for everyone now."
Just as Mr. Bolhofner was going to open the box; a store employee came up and tried to stop him. "Sir, we have to have time to ..." Before the employee can finish speaking; Mr. Bolhofner opened the box and handed out the pads. "There, your workload is reduced." He glared at the meek employee, before everyone can get out of the aisle. Ronnie Anne was at awe by what Mr. Bolhofner did. And Lincoln smiled and had to chime in. "See Ronnie Anne, he's not such a bad guy." She nods, as the two would finally head to the cashier. Once they finished making their purchases, and safely out of the Lion's Den; Mr. Bolhofner would run up and shake Lincoln's hand.
Lincoln was surprised, but shook back and noticed a $20 bill. "Sir, for me? Why?" Mr. Bolhofner smiled and patted his back gently. Never have I seen a young man willing to risk his neck for family and friends. (He whispered in his ear) by the way, you have a keeper." He was referring to Ronnie Anne, as he would head out with his stuff. Ronnie Anne looked at Lincoln and couldn't shake this feeling that she's been hiding. "Come on Ronnie Anne, you know you like him." She thought to herself as she didn't want to say out loud. Lincoln looked at Ronnie Anne, and blushed a moment. Before he could say something, he heard the honk of Vanzilla; and was thankful to see his dad.
Over by Vanzilla, Lynn Sr. saw Lincoln and Ronnie Anne leave with the pads; as he breathed a sigh of relief. He saw his son leave with Ronnie Anne, as he feared that his son was never going to speak to him again. So he had to ask him. 'Lincoln, vanzilla is over here!" Lincoln nods, but had to take care of one thing. "In a moment dad, I have to drop off her pads." As he left, Lynn Sr. smiled as he wiped a tear. "My little man is growing up so fast."
When Lincoln and Ronnie Anne arrived at Mrs. Santiago's car; Maria Santiago, breathed a sigh of relief; as she saw Lincoln and her daughter, safe and sound. She saw the two bring a ton of stuff as she thought her daughter went overboard. "Ronnie Anne, thank goodness you're okay. But why so many pads? I'm sorry I called in last minute for Carlota. But this is too much" Ronnie Anne smiled as she hugged her mom. "Well most of the pads belong to Lincoln. He was shopping as well for the same thing." Maria was surprised to hear that Lincoln did the shopping alone. "Lincoln, are you alright? Thank you for being there for my baby. (She hugged him, but saw him wince a bit.) What happened to you?" Lincoln would lift his shirt to reveal a bruise on his side. "Sorry, I never thought I would be injured by walking in." Ronnie Anne chuckled as she nods and chimes in. "It's true. Knocked into the paper towel display section."
Maria knew the Shopping Games was dangerous. But to see two kids emerge without too much damage is a miracle. "Trust me, I wanted to go in. But mi hija (daughter) wanted to go for it and I couldn't believe I said yes." Ronnie Anne shook her head in disbelief. "Mom, I said it wasn't as bad as many people said. And we're still here." Maria couldn't scold her too much about this. She would take some pain meds out of the car. And an unique spray can called 'Soccer Spray'. It's a cold spray designed to numb pain. "Alright Lincoln, this spray will numb your pain on your side. But you'll need to take these meds, once every 6 hours. And spray once a day." He would lift his shirt and get sprayed with the soccer spray. He laughed and felt A lot better. "Wow, that felt great. Thank you Mrs. Santiago." Maria smiled as Ronnie Anne got all the stuff in the car. "All set mom! We better get going before abuela calls the cops."
Maria nods as she knew the cops was the least of her worries. "Alright Lincoln, thanks again for all your help." Lincoln smiled as just as he was about to leave, Ronnie Anne rushed over to look him in the eyes; before giving him a kiss on the lips. Lincoln was in shock as it was the first time a girl kissed him. Ronnie Anne chuckled as she punched his shoulder gently. "See you later lame-o." Lincoln, still stunned waves to her as he would head to Vanzilla.
Ronnie Anne would get in the front seat and saw her mom smile. "Mom it's nothing. He's just a friend that's all." Maria smirked as she would hug her baby. "Well that's your third kiss; that means he's your boyfriend." Ronnie Anne couldn't believe that; and tried to play it off. "Mom I only kissed him one time." Maria nods and had to remind her of the other moments. "So you forgot the first time you punched him after he kissed you. (Ronnie Anne gulped as she forgot how her family knows these things.) And the time he kissed you at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet." Ronnie Anne thought to herself "Damn Babe and Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!" As the car pulls out, Maria would give her some comfort. "Don't worry, I won't tell Bobby or abuela." Ronnie Anne nods as she knew she was the last person to find out about this.
Lincoln would finally reach Vanzilla, as he would load up the pads inside. His dad smiled as he noticed that kiss mark on his lips. "Had fun out there Lincoln?" Lincoln could only chuckle as he didn't know what dad was talking about. "Sure dad. Why you ask?" He couldn't get mad at his dad; considering Ronnie Anne wanted to risk life and limb herself. "Oh just watching my little man grow up. (Lynn Sr. nods, but smelled something unusual.) Say sport, did you buy a pie as well?" Lincoln blinked as he didn't noticed that smell earlier. "No dad. Maybe I ran into the perfume counter by mistake." Lynn Sr. smirked as he had some ideas in his head. "Have to go out to the market for coconuts. I'll make my coconut shrimp and lynnguinni pasta. Or a coconut a la tart. Or maybe a coconut dumpling soup. Or maybe fried coconut fried steak!" Lincoln would hear his dad go on and on about food. But at least it would be a relaxing trip home.
When Lincoln finally came home, he opened the door and saw the looks of his sister's relieved and thankful for him being alive. "I'm home!" His sister's were about to rush over to him; When an excited Lynn Jr. rushed past them; hoping for some good news. "Woo hoo! My brother did it! $750 dollars for me!" When she hugged him hard, he winced as it was not the reaction she wanted to hear. And Lisa made sure of it. "Hmmm, alive and unscathed? I think not. (She lifted Lincoln's shirt to reveal a big bruise on his side.) Well I do believe as they say, the house always wins again." LJ (Lynn Jr.) wanted to curse out the people that took away her potential winnings. "Alright Stinkoln, who did this to you? Who I get to beat up?" Lincoln saw that murderous look. But had to calm her down as he answered. "It was Scoots and her 'chariot' that took me down."
LJ pouted but punched his shoulder gently. "Guess we're part of the Scoots club" Those that got bruised from Scoots and her scooter. Lincoln reassured his sisters that he'll be fine. "Relax, I received some medicine and a soccer spray, and I'll be okay in a few days." Lynn Jr. saw the soccer spray and smiled. "Hey Lincoln, can I borrow the spray can sometime?" He nods and gives her the spray can for medical purposes. Considering how many sports she's in; a much needed relief indeed.
Lola shrugged as she was on the couch. "What's the deal with these feminine pads anyway? I can't believe our brother nearly died for something useless." Lori was on her phone texting; as she would answer her little sister. "When you get older Lola, you'll understand how important they are." Lisa nods as she chimed in. "Quite true. But these Dr. Ruth pads in particular are top in the line. But quite inexpensive in its price; hence the madness for them." Lana shrugs as it was still rather useless. "Well why would I need a mini diaper when I get older? Only one that could use those is Lily." Lily giggled as she wanted to grab the package; but Luan picked her up. Lisa would continue, by explaining puberty. "Well Lana, when you're older, you'll be bleeding once a month or so. And you'll need those 'mini diapers' to keep you fresh. And to avoid what the females called 'spotting'."
Both Lola and Lana gag at the same time; being twins of course, as Lincoln would look at everyone with relief. "Well everyone, I'm just relieved that I had help along the way." Luna was surprised by that and had to ask. "Whoa dude, who would be brave enough to help you out?" Lincoln, was doing his best to keep that part concealed. "Just a friend and I was thankful for that." He nods, but Leni was curious about something off. "I smell coconut. Did you bring a coconut pie Linky?" Lincoln had to come up with something fast. "Sorry Leni, had a mini pie before I came home. The shopping trip made me hungry." Leni nods, but Sam would hug Lincoln gently; as she had to apologize once again for making him shop longer. "I'm sorry Lincoln for what happened. Believe me it was last minute and..." She noticed a thin kiss Mark by his lips and knows the scent. She smiled and would just scream for joy; and hugs him again gently. Luna noticed that scream and asked. "Say Sam, what's up? Why so happy for my bro?" Sam smiled and replied. "That coconut smell is coconut cream pie lip balm. Mazzy uses it before our concerts." Luna nods, but then realizes and like Sam, screams for joy and hugs her bro.
Lincoln realized it was only a matter of time before he gets mobbed; and on cue his sisters would gently hug him; as they knew something else happened. Luna wanted to know who kissed him. "So bro, who gave you that kiss?" Before Lincoln could answer, Lori would chime in. "Its Ronnie Anne Luna. And he and Ronnie Anne will be on a double date movie night; with me and Bobby of course." That cause the sisters and Sam to jump up for joy and scream like mad for Lincoln. Luan looked at Lori as she was curious. "How did you know it was Ronnie Anne? I thought she was in the city?" Lori would answer. "Like Lincoln, she had to shop for pads as well. Apparently, I have a text from Mrs. Santiago thanking Lincoln once again for saving Ronnie Anne." The other sisters and Sam 'Awwed', as they couldn't believe what Lincoln did. Lincoln had to explain; considering his sister's would bug him until he cracks. "Well, there was a fight over more pads. And a big box fell from the shelf; and I moved in to pull her out of the way." He smiled and Leni leaned in to smirk. And for being a big hero; you received your big smooch reward!" That only made everyone cheer as Lincoln would head upstairs. He knew he won't hear the end of it from his sisters; but that's what happens in the loud house.
Later that evening, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne were chatting via webcam; as Ronnie Anne wanted to apologize for earlier. "Sorry about your sisters finding out about us. Believe me I did everything to keep the kiss hidden." He smiled as he shook his head. "It's okay Ronnie Anne; I thought I was in the clear until Sam caught my coconut 'scent'." She laughed as she couldn't believe that luck. But had to explain. "That's on me. I grabbed a lip balm and thought it was original. But in the chaos, I grabbed the wrong balm and you know."
He nods as he couldn't get mad at her; But had to ask her the same question. "Did your family find out? Besides your mother of course?" Ronnie Anne replied "Well I was in the clear; until my abuela saw the local news and let's just say you saving me made the news. And long story short, you're the 'hero of the week!'" Lincoln knew that now heading to her house would mean her family would be all over him, like white on rice. He laughed and knew there was no turning back. "At least your family knows me, and won't make a big deal out of it." She laughed, but she knew she had to get this off her chest. "Say Lincoln, how good is your Spanish?" He blinked, as he was confused by that request. "A little bit, why you ask?" She blushed as she took a deep breath, before saying what was on her mind. "Te Amo Lincoln, Siempre!" Lincoln smiled and blushed, as he replied: "Te Amo Ronnie Anne, Siempre!" Her eyes widened as she was in complete shock. "How did you know that phrase Lincoln?"
He smiled as he explained. "It was about a year ago when I came over to your house. We were watching a telenovela, and the guy who played Ace Savvy said in Spanish: Te Amo Mi Amor [I love you, my love]. (Ronnie Anne nods as she couldn't believed he remembered.) When I asked you, you turned your head away and never answered. (Ronnie Anne blushed as she remembered that part.) So I went to Bobby and he told me the translation. (He chuckled as he remembered what Bobby told him.) He thought I was going to say that to you. Well guess I did." Ronnie started to cry as she didn't think he would understand. "Lincoln, (She was at a loss for words for that moment.) I hope we don't end up like 'Babe and Bobby Boo-Boo Bear'." He nods as he wanted to hug her but can't. "We won't go all mushy into kissing and stuff." Ronnie Anne smiled as she breathed a sigh of relief. "Alright lame-o, (She chuckled at herself) at least I know our 'relationship' won't end up making us gag."
As the two laughed; little did they knew their families were eavesdropping; clearly both had been waiting for this moment. "Move over, I'm trying to listen." Lola wanted to move closer to eavesdrop. "It totes them long enough to be a couple." Leni couldn't help be happy for her little brother. Over at the Casagrandes apartment, Abuela Rosa couldn't help but contain her joy. "I told you my candles never fail. Now I have to wait for Lincoln to propose." Frida crying, as she was just so happy. "I'm missing the Dream Boat season finale. But this is so worth it!" Lincoln and Ronnie Anne overheard the chatter and both yelled: "HEY, PRIVATE ROMANTIC CONVERSATION HERE!" Everyone scattered like rats; trying to get away. "Sorry, was discovering the woodwork of our doors." Lisa explained. "And I was discovering sound frequency between walls." Tio Carlos explained before leaving.
Both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne sighed as they knew any conversations will be eavesdropped. Lincoln chuckled and said "Now I know why Babe and Bobby Boo-Boo Bear text like crazy." Lincoln explained as Ronnie Anne nods and chimes. "Guess I'll ask my mom for an unlimited text plan. (She chuckled) It's the only way we'll talk without them spying on us." Lincoln chucked, but knew it's getting late. "Well Ronnie Anne, (He blushed as he was trying to end the conversation.) I'll see you later." Ronnie Anne smiled and nods. "Good Night Lincoln, I'll see you tomorrow then." Just as the conversation ends, they had one thing left to say: I love you!"
About 10 minutes later, Lincoln would speak to the fourth wall; the audience in question. "Well I learned something today. Never, ever go out on the busiest shopping day ever. And if you have to brave the chaos of black Friday; always remember that you're never alone. You might end having more than just a friend. (He smiled as he yelled from his room.) Good night guys." The family said goodnight, as a certain dad would smile. "Goodnight son. (He asked his wife a request) Honey, when can I return to the bed?" Rita would tell from her room "In two weeks, no questions ask!" Lynn Sr. sighed and pouted "Dang It!"
[] End of Chapter 1 []
[] I'll be honest, I was trying my best to complete this and kept getting distracted. But for the second chapter, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne will have their official first date as a couple. But it will be their second double date with Lori and Bobby. []
