Eda sat comfortably on the couch of the Owl House; that is to say with one leg draped over the back with the other dangling off of the seat, her head on the arm rest, and holding the Book of Spirits by John Tobin in her hands. She was trying to read, despite King's soft snoring on the other arm rest, but the pair of teens in her living room were being so sickeningly lovey-dovey that it was becoming difficult to concentrate.
"There's no way you could love me more than I love you. Happy one week anniversary, Amity." Luz said, her normally dark complexion nearly glowing red. She was laying on her back, her head in her girlfriend's lap as she played with Amity's fingers and inspected her black colored fingernails. They had been watching the Crystal Ball, but had become distracted from their show.
"Psh…" Amity replied, hiding her smile behind her other hand. "Not possible." she beamed, hunched over Luz's face. "Luz? You think there's anyone else out there doing what we're doing right now?"
"Ugh!" Eda groaned. "You kid's love sick banter is making me wish for petrification!" she shouted a little louder than she had intended. It had only been a short time since she had seen Raine again, and hadn't heard from them again since the Gland Prix. Maybe she had a bit of envy at the young love Luz and Amity were experiencing; a reminder of what she had missed out on. "You're not the only couple of kids in all the realms that are in love." she said, sitting up.
Amity recoiled slightly and bit her lip, causing Luz to sit up as well to face Eda down. "What's the problem, Eda? If you want us to go up to my room so that we don't disturb you with our positive feelings, just say so!"
Eda glared at Luz for a moment, crossing her arms in defiance before heaving a sigh. "No, no. It's fine. It's just reminding me of another young couple I knew once."
Luz gasped, her defensive attitude melting instantly from curiosity. "More mysterious backstory? With a romantic twist?!"
"Weh?" King whined, opening an eye at the sudden squealing.
"Amity! King! Cuddle up, it's story time!" Luz grinned.
Amity cautiously embraced Luz from behind, still uncertain as to Eda's current mood after the Owl Lady's outburst at her question to Luz. King hopped down from his perch to nestle into Luz's lap, and Luz stretched to grab a blanket that was on the nearby ottoman to wrap around herself and her companions.
"What?!" Eda asked, confused as to what just happened. "Story…" she rolled her eyes. She supposed there was no harm in divulging a tale or two. "Alright, fine. It was around twenty years ago now, and I found myself once again in the Human Realm…"
"The Human Realm?!" Luz objected with a snort. "I've heard all of the human romance stories. I thought you were going to tell us about some Hexside romance!"
"You want a story or not?" Eda asked in irritation.
"Luz, shh!" Amity whispered, her eyes already wide. Luz grumbled and sighed. "Go on, please."
"Well, like I was saying; Picture it: The Human Realm, and the year was two thousand and something…"
Eda ran a finger around the brim of her wine glass, the normally thin red liquid now a dark, thick, and murky concoction with the addition of her apple blood that she kept in a flask in an extra dimensional pocket. She was sitting across from a large man dressed in a brown blazer over top of a pressed white shirt and brown slacks. He had that arrogant air of authority and discipline to him, that signalled him to be an easy mark. "So you're a teacher, huh, Steve?" she asked, taking another sip from her glass. She was trying this 'dating' thing, both as a way to alleviate her boredom and to make some quick money in the local currency.
Steve Barkin's voice was deep and smooth, not surprising considering his stature. "A teacher of a lot of various subjects at the Middleton High School. There's a lot of weird stuff that goes on in this city, so I've had to step in pretty frequently for other missing instructors." he explained, cutting into his steak. Try as she might to use her womanly wiles on the man, his focus seemed to be directed on the flowery bandana Eda wore to cover her pointed ears and hold back her massive plume of red hair. "I can't say I've met many ladies with… uh, eyes like yours."
Eda smiled, exposing the fang that protruded from the right side of her lips. "I got them from my dad." she said before quickly changing the subject. "So a teacher, huh? That must be exciting. Ushering in a new generation of w… er, people."
"Moreso than you'd expect some days." he said. "Middleton has a few students that like to attract trouble. It's not a difficult job, but it's rewarding knowing that I'll have an affect on the future."
"A not difficult, rewarding job does sound appealing." Eda said, leaning forward with a grin. "Why don't we take this conversation back to your place?"
"Ew! Eda!" Luz interrupted. "This story is PG, right?"
"Hey, you want the treasure, you've gotta go through the trash slug to get to it." Eda replied, resulting in a confused grimace from Amity. "Now stop interrupting."
Steve raised a brow, his face remaining stone-like at Eda's suggestion. "You're not going to finish…?"
Eda looked down at her unfinished meal. Despite her lack of interest in it, her date had purchased it for her, and letting a free meal go to waste wasn't ideal. "Oh, right." she said, stuffing what was left into her abundance of hair where it vanished without a trace.
Steve's eyes widened at the display, making him speechless. Eda grabbed his mitt of a hand in hers and dragged him out of his chair to the front desk. The large man was surprisingly shy at her advances, fumbling with his credit card as he paid for the date. Eda continued to try to keep the unusually stoic human talking with questions about his home life and work, getting irritatingly short answers.
"What do you do for fun, Steve?" she asked.
"I try to get in fifty laps at the pool every day after work."
"That's a nice carriage, Steve. Mind showing me how to drive it?"
"Sorry, you wouldn't be insured."
"What's your job schedule like, Steve?"
"Five days a week, plus all the paper grading."
"That's so interesting, Steve."
The pair reached Steve's house and he opened the door for her, ushering Eda inside. The home was surprisingly cozy for such a disciplined man; clean, with plants carefully placed in several corners, no sign of pets, and no surprising roommate voices. "You live alone, Steve?" Eda asked, giving the house a cursory inspection before turning to face him.
"That's right. We'll have total privacy." he replied.
"That's great. Sleep spell." she said, spinning a finger in the air to trace a glowing gold circle that shot forward to ripple over Steve's body. She stepped to the side as he crashed to the floor, snoring loudly. "Okay, Steve-y; let's see what you've got to offer."
Eda explored the rest of the house, finding very little of actual value. Even his garbage was boring, and Eda eventually made her way back to Steve Barkin himself. "Wallet full of plastic and paper, pocket knife, carriage keys. Bleh." she said. "Trying to find a date worth robbing in this realm is the pits. Well, he did say his job could be rewarding." she said to herself, a grin forming on her lips. "Maybe being on the other side of a school desk won't be as bad as being a student."
She pulled the brown blazer off of Steve and donned it, its oversized sleeves and torso nearly sliding off of her again. "One little touch up in the hemming, and…" she said, casting a quick spell to tighten the jacket onto her form. Finding a mirror, she turned about to take a look at herself. "Oh, girl, you could put even Bump to shame. Teaching can't be that hard." she said, finding a pair of Steve's brown slacks in his bedroom drawer and tightening them up with magic to fit as well.
She made her way back to Steve's snoozing form and spun a finger, encompassing him in a gold glow and magically lifting him up off of the floor with ease, directing him to his bed to drop him onto it. "Sorry, Steve. But I'm going to need you out of the way for a bit. You should wake up in a day or two but it looks like you've got plenty in the kitchen for when you wake up hungry as a ratworm."
"You catfished a teacher and then left him to sleep for DAYS?!" Luz exclaimed.
"I may have over done the sleep spell. I was still learning it, alright?" Eda replied in her defence. "Besides, he was probably fine afterward."
"Probably?!"
"Luz, let Eda tell the story!" Amity ordered.
The next morning, Eda had flown to the High School on her staff, finding the building easily enough from the large sign out front that read: 'It's Monday! Do You Know Where Your Teacher Is?' Trying to keep a low profile in a world where you were the most powerful being on the planet was tiresome, but she knew these humans took issue with anything that didn't quite fit their idea of normal, so she landed behind a nearby restaurant that had a giant, wide brimmed hat for a roof and walked the rest of the way, spinning her staff.
As she approached the school, students could be seen congregating around the front doors, enjoying the sunny weather and blue skies, dressed in colorful crop tops and baggy pants or shorts. "Ugh. None of these softies would last five minutes on the Boiling Isles." she whispered to herself. Stuffing one hand in the pocket of her pants, and continuing to twirl her staff in the other, she walked through the crowd with her best confident smile until the beautifully carved large end of her staff inevitably conked a blonde student on the head.
"Ow!" he shouted, rubbing his forehead as a red haired girl with a plumage nearly as impressive as Eda's turned to see what had happened.
Eda let out a snort laugh, clutching her staff and inspecting the end of it to make certain it wasn't damaged. The carved figurine of an owl was fine, though it let out a quiet hoot in surprise. "Whoops! Sorry about that. Didn't see you there."
The boy laughed it off nervously while his companion faced her defiantly. "You need to be more careful!" she said. "Wait, are you new here? Why are you dressed…"
The boy beside her gasped. "Are you another Barkin?! Could the universe truly be so cruel?!"
"What? No, I… I mean, I'm taking over for Steve for a few days." Eda said, looking the pair up and down. The blonde boy was a slacker, that much was clear. His hair was unkempt, his jersey that was layered over his dark long sleeve shirt hung off of his indeterminate frame, and his tan cargo pants looked like they were ready to fall off at any time. An easy mark, to be sure.
The girl that was with him was another matter. She smelled of over achievement, intelligence, and well deserved self confidence that Eda hadn't seen in anyone but herself. She would be a much harder con. "Oh! I didn't realize you were a teacher…" she said suspiciously.
"Why not? Don't I look like one?" Eda asked, narrowing her eyes at the teen.
"I mean, you're definitely dressed like one…" the boy said, making a dramatic show of eyeing her suspiciously as well.
"Yeah, well… shouldn't you be getting to class by now?" Eda asked, and then turned to address the larger crowd. "Shouldn't you all be getting to class?!" Her outburst gathered the attention of the collection of students, who grumbled and began making their way into the school. "That's right, keep moving. And be sure to thank your friends here for the added motivation!" she continued, pointing a long nailed finger at the pair of teens in front of her. "I'm sorry, who are you two?"
"Uh, I'm Kim? Kim Possible?" the girl said, taken aback that Eda didn't already know who she was.
"And I'm Ron Stoppable. Her sidekick. We save the world on a weekly basis." The boy said. "Well, she does."
Eda began to wheeze with laughter. "What kind of a name… save the world, huh?"
"Wait, you've never heard of Kim Possible?" Ron asked.
Eda wiped a tear from her eye, regaining her composure. "You're serious?"
"Wow. Where have you been for forever to not hear of Kim Possible?"
"Ron, it's fine." Kim said, walking away and dragging Ron along behind her. "Let's just get to class."
Eda watched the pair walk into the school behind their peers and Eda breathed a sigh. World saving teens seemed pretty ridiculous, but how could she have known there was some kind of famous student at this school that everyone but her had heard of. She'd have to avoid that one.
