I shot up with a gasp, sputtering as I swiped the long grass away from my face. A gentle breeze flew overhead, and a soft whistle echoed in the back of my mind. I paid it little attention. I was too focussed on the fact that the grass tastes fucking disgusting. Seriously, how does grass grow this long? I'm 175cm tall, and this grass reaches my mouth as I scamper up to my feet. I felt the weight of my laptop bag hanging off my shoulder, and was just barely able to catch it.

"What in the fuck?" I asked the air as I finally got all of that grass away from my mouth. In all directions, as far the eye could see, there was nothing but grass. I could spot a few hills in the distance, and scattered along the whole landscape were these massive rocks, ovular in shape, protruding from the ground. Some were bigger than others. "Where on Earth am I?" I asked myself.

The last thing I remember was a typical day at Uni, then I had an evening shift at work, and then I was on my way home. I drove through the city, on my way down to the south side, passed over the city river, and then… Nothing. I'm drawing a blank. I don't remember anything after the river. I racked my brain as best as I could, but came up with nothing. I gave up after a few minutes. I had more pressing matters to tend to. Survival, for instance. Not to mention…

"What the fuck is that?" I ground out, rubbing my ears as the whistle became a little louder. It couldn't be the air, there's no tunnel for the wind to whistle through. Judging by where the sun is, it seemed to be coming from the west. As I tried to place the sound, another one made itself known, coming from the same direction. It was deeper than the whistle, and more mechanical. It almost sounded like a jet engine.

Now, call me crazy, call me paranoid, or call me Robert Downey Junior if you really want to, but every instinct I had screamed at me to hide; that I did not want to be seen by whoever was piloting this vehicle. So, with that in mind, I quickly ducked into that disgusting grass. Just as I did, a spherical craft, with two vertical squares attached to both sides passed over my head. As much as I wanted to gripe about how that shouldn't be possible, how that thing shouldn't be aerodynamic, I was too preoccupied by something else.

"I did not just see a TIE fighter fly over my head." I told myself as I stood up, spitting out more of that grass. How does it keep getting in my mouth?! "I am going crazy, I did not just see a sci-fi ship fly overhead, and I definitely, positively, do not want to follow that sound." I said, pitifully looking in the direction of the strange whistling sound. Almost as if it knew I was going to follow it anyway, the sound mellowed out, just barely audible, but still going. I sighed. "I'm fucking nuts, aren't I?" I asked myself as I slung my laptop bag to the small of my back.

Determined, but annoyed, I set off west. Whatever that sound is, I'm going to find out what the hell is going on, one way or another.


It was about an hour of walking before I found anything, and I thanked my lucky stars that I had a coke bottle and headphones in my bag, else this little trip would have been a lot more unbearable. For reasons beyond me, I was struck with a sudden wave of nausea about two minutes after I started walking. It was tolerable at first, I figured it was just anxiety from the whole situation, so I plugged in my headphones and played some Bon Jovi to calm down. It didn't work. The nausea got worse, and I puked several times throughout my walk. I slowed down on the coke, but I needed to stay hydrated, especially after vomiting several times. It eased off soon enough, but by the time it was done, I was drenched in sweat, probably feverish, and really hungry.

My destination? Apparently, a large rock with a door on it. Yeah, you read that right. A massive one of those ovular rocks, about the size of a small skyscraper, with a beautifully carved door sticking out of the side. I don't like this. I do not like this one bit. Steeling myself, I pulled my collapsible bo-staff out of my bag. Have you ever watched Arrow and seen Sara Lance's staff? Yeah, pretty much that. Funny thing is that she and I share a name. My Sensei may have been a little paranoid, but she always told me to have my weapon handy. And given the number of times I'd almost been mugged during my holiday to New York, I agreed. Fucking Yanks…

With my staff at the ready, and my resolve steeled, I slowly made my way inside, following that strange whistle. I half expected an elaborate labyrinth of twists, turns, and multiple paths. Instead, it was a long, monotonous tunnel forward. Visibility was next to nothing, so I had my phone's flashlight on. Unfortunately, there seemed to be no end in near sight, and by the time I decided it might be a good idea to head back, I couldn't see the entrance anymore. Pushing on seemed like the best idea.

Glad I did too. It was about ten minutes later that I started to see a light in the distance, which was a relief. I'm no fan of bright lights, but unless I'm about to sleep, I prefer dull light over complete darkness. Even my phone's flashlight didn't help. When I finally put my phone away and walked out the tunnel, I was greeted to two sights. One being more fucking grass! The other was much more welcome; the bright night sky. I was completely baffled. I'd never seen the sky so beautiful before. The light I'd seen in the tunnel. It had been caused solely by the light of the stars and moons.

Wait, WHAT?!

MoonS?!

"There's two moons in the sky." I said out loud, in complete shock. Maybe it was because I'd hyperventilated and puked several times since I woke up, but my reaction to the shock was to just stand there, still as a sleeping rhino, staring at the two admittedly beautiful full moons. It may have been an hour, it may have been two minutes, but I eventually calmed down enough to think and move again. I turned to look at the tunnel again, and flinched. The ovular rock that I had exited out of no longer had an exit. It was just a plain rock now. "Oh God, what next?" I asked tiredly. This exhaustion I feel might be a good thing. I'm too tired to be shocked by anything else. "Attaboy Lance, jinx it." I rolled my eyes at myself, collapsing my staff and stuffing it in my back pocket.

At least one good thing came out of this bizarre disappearing tunnel experience. In the distance, I could see some form of civilisation. Let's just hope it's not full of Stormtroopers, Wookies, or Jawas. Although, given my luck, something is probably going to go horribly wrong. I'm going to be taken in by some kind of authority, I just know it. With a frustrated sigh, I set off towards the city, mentally preparing for whatever is to come.

Maybe I'll wake up before I get there.


"Don't move!" The Stormtrooper order, aiming his gun at me.

"Yep, too much to ask for." I thought to myself, a blank look on my face as I raised my hands. I'd just barely gotten to the outer wall of what looked like a landing pad for TIE fighters and shuttles, and was about to sneak in through one of the numerous entrances, when one of the perimeter guards caught me.

"Show me your identification." He demanded, gun at the ready.

"Sorry, it's in my other pants." I quipped. Great job Lance, sarcasm at the guy pointing a gun at you.

"Then you're under arrest for trespassing." He said, stepping forward and grabbing me by the arm. I quickly grabbed his own arm, catching his attention.

"I think not." I said, quickly getting my staff out of my back pocket and clobbering him over the head with it. I didn't even extend it. He fell to the ground, unconscious. "God, I hope that's not really the standard for these guys." I sighed, grabbing him by the legs and pulling him into the grass. It's not the best camouflage with the white armour, but it'll do until I figure something out.

As I snuck in, being sure to keep out of sight from more of these goons, I felt a sudden cold. It started as a chill up my spine, but with every step I took, it was like walking deeper and deeper into a walk-in freezer. Funny thing is, this wasn't a physical cold. The air around me was a fine enough temperature, and I wasn't getting any kind of need to shiver. It was more… spiritual? I guess? That's the best word I could come up with. This cold was like an emotion, or a sense. It was mental. I think.

"Goddamn it, I have no idea what I'm doing." I whispered to myself as I walked out onto a large landing pad, a classic Imperial shuttle in sight. "Should have planned a little more ahead." I sighed. At that moment, the cold intensified a hundredfold; enough to make me stiffen up. A very familiar sound of deep, mechanical inhalation and exhalation was sounding behind me. Stiffly, I turned and saw the tall, dark form of Darth Vader standing there, staring at me a few meters away.

"You... are not one of the rebels I am looking for." He stated, igniting his red saber. Behind him, a squad of Stormtroopers stood, their guns at the ready. Fear gripped at my very core. I'm hallucinating, I'm asleep, I'm in a mental hospital! This. Is. Not. REAL. "I sense your terror, and it is well warranted. You chose the wrong day to attempt a theft, boy." He spoke calmly, though one could feel the anger and hatred at just about everything in his voice. Right as he approached, and lifted his saber to finish me, I was able to snap out of my terror, if only just enough to roll out of the way. Immediately, I extended my bo staff and set my bag aside, readying my stance. I could feel the heat from his saber, so I know blocking his strikes is out of the question.

"I'm not dying without finding out what the fuck is going on." I said, mostly to myself. If 'Vader' even acknowledged what I said, he gave little notice. He did seem to know that I was no mere civilian that he could kill with a single swing of his sword, so he raised his saber, ready for a fight. I'm not sure if he could just choke me to death with a thought, but if he could, it doesn't look like he will. At this point, I'm still not 100% sure if I believe that I'm actually in fucking Star Wars.

As Vader made to swing I dodged his attack and landed a hit on his leg. He barely reacted. In fact, under the fabric of his suit, I heard a slight metallic bang. Are his limbs actually cybernetic? Like the real guy? HOW can this be real? This cycle repeated several times. He would swing, I would dodge, I would hit, it would do nothing, rinse and repeat. His blade grazed me a couple times, and let me just say, those things HURT. I think the only reason I'm still alive is because of his heavy cybernetic limbs slowing him down. His blows are incredibly strong, but slow. I imagine he's used to long, drawn out fights. Several times, he knocked me back with his free hand, once even grabbing me and throwing me.

"I grow tired of this, boy." He borderline growled, reaching out with his free hand. "The Force is strong with you." I stopped as I felt an invisible force grip my throat, cutting off my airway. I lost my grip on my staff, and desperately tried to claw at my neck, but there was nothing to claw, so I just stood there, suffocating, Vader's grip keeping me on my feet. He may have said something, I don't know, I was well on my way to passing out, maybe even dying.

Suddenly, two blue lights ignited to the side, and flew towards him. He let go of me, blocking the attacks, which allowed me to swallow as much as I could, my vision slowly returning. A form in… pink clothing...? Approached and knelt at my side, making me face its head. As my vision cleared, I saw a helmet similar to Boba Fett's, only pink.

"Are you alright?" A young woman's voice asked me as she helped me stand up.

"Yeah, I think I am." I responded, shaking the confusion out of my head.

"Good, cos we gotta get out of here." Another voice said, this one coming from a large, cat-ape like creature. I noticed a rather unpleasant odour coming from him, but I felt it was better not to comment. These people probably saved my ass.

"Good call." I agreed, picking up my staff and bag, slinging the latter over my shoulder as I followed the two towards the shuttle. We all avoided some gunfire whilst the two with the blue lightsabers, a kid in an orange jumpsuit with dark blue hair, and a young man, about 30 or so, wearing green and brown. There was also a green Twi'lek wearing what was definitely a pilot's suit ahead of us. She was pushing these large, floating, metal things into the shuttle. She had a small, grey astromech with an orange head with her. Not nearly as cool looking as R2, I have to say.

"Here, make yourself useful." The Mandalorian said, handing me one of her guns as the cat-ape guy whipped out a rifle like thing. Nodding, I aimed at the Stormtroopers, and fired as best as I could. Grandad taught me how to use a gun some time ago, but I was a bit rusty. Also, I did everything I could to not think about the fact that I would probably kill someone I hit with this thing. I silently hoped their armour is more protective than in the movies as the three of us took cover behind some crates.

"Christ almighty, that's a lot of troops." I snapped in frustration as one almost hit me.

"You know what I like to do in hopeless situations?" The girl asked, pulling out two spheres. I don't know if she was talking to me or the ape guy, but I answered anyway.

"Blow shit up?" I asked, recognising a detonator when I saw one.

"Yep!" She said, probably grinning under her helmet as she and the ape guy both threw a detonator each at the empty walkers that surrounded us.

The detonators landed on the walkers' legs, prompting the troopers to flee at the sight of them. As they exploded, bringing two walkers down, the two Jedi(I'm assuming they're Jedi because of their lightsaber colours) Force-pushed the Sith to the ground, right where the walkers would fall. They landed right on top of him, a fiery blaze expanding in all directions. That's when the two Jedi made their retreat. It was short lived, however, as mere seconds later, the walkers lifted off the ground, Vader underneath, on one knee, with one hand lifting the walkers off of him with the Force.

"If that doesn't kill him, what will?" The kid asked, aghast.

"Not us." The older Jedi responded.

"I have an idea." I said, extending my staff again. "Hey Mando, his limbs are cybernetic." I told the girl. I could imagine her eyes lighting up in understanding as she realised my implications.

"Oh! I got it." She nodded at me. I nodded back and leaped over the crate, shooting at Vader.

He deflected every blast. Right as I neared him, he swiped at me, which I was just barely able to dodge. Right as I did, I pocketed the gun, and a detonator of a different model flew towards him, courtesy of the Mando girl. He swiped at it, slicing it in half, which probably reduced its effect, but it still released a pulse of energy that shocked his cybernetics, causing mechanical grunts of excursion, and possibly pain, to escape him. I took the opportunity to hit him in the chest, knocking him back, and kicking his saber out of his hands. I caught it as it deactivated, and landed one last hit, hard as I could, which knocked him to the ground. Was it cheap? Yes. Do I regret it? No. Immediately, I turned towards the shuttle. The entire group was already on there.

"Need a lift?" The elder Jedi called out to me. I took that as an invitation. I sprinted towards the shuttle, evading more troopers. As the shuttle lifted off, I leaped inside, just barely getting in before the door started to close.

"Ho… Lee… Fuck…" I breathed out, falling to my knees. "I never want to do that again." I mumbled out loud.

"You may not have a choice." The older Jedi said, crossing his arms. "I'm Kanan Jarrus. This Ezra, Zeb, Hera, Sabine, and Chopper." He introduced himself, the kid, the ape guy, the Mando, and the droid. In that order.

"Lance." I grunted, standing up. I wiped some sweat off of my brow, my brown hair in my eyes. "Lance Mikaelson." I held my hand out. We shook hands. "Thanks for the save." I said, taking a seat on the side of the shuttle.

"Thanks for the help." Hera responded, looking me over. "Ezra, grab a medkit, will you?" She asked of the kid, who nodded. It was then that I remembered I was covered in wounds. Bumps, bruises, and grazes from the saber, which I still held. "Are you feeling alright?" She asked of me, removing my bag from my shoulder.

"I'm exhausted, famished, and in pain, but I'm alive." I said tiredly. "Got myself a nifty souvenir at least." I said, holding up the saber. I stared at it, my mind racing in awe.

"Be careful with that." The Mando, Sabine, warned me as she took her helmet off. Her hair was purple at the roots, transitioning to orange tips.

"Nice hair." I said simply, taking a deep breath. "Now if you don't mind…" I said as I felt the exhaustion get stronger. "I think I'm going to pass out." I let go.

"Whoa!" Hera quickly caught me as my vision went black.

Hopefully I wake up in my bedroom.


I'm back baby. *Puffs cigar.*

OK, in all honesty, maybe I'm not back-back. Writing has gone to shit for me recently, and I haven't worked on anything for months. I was bored and decided to try my hand at writing again and came up with this. Yes, another Rebels fic. I think the reason why the other two didn't kick off is because I made my character's backstory too complicated. Here, he's just an ordinary university student who got lost in time and space.

Another shameless self insert, who this time, has not seen Star Wars Rebels. The movies and Clone Wars, sure. Not Rebels. He has no idea what's going on.

I'm not sure if I'll update this as much as I would like to. We'll see what happens, but don't be surprised if I barely update at all. Work can get a little hectic.


And hey, if any of you like Paint Pouring art, please check out my mother's YouTube Channel!

Colour Shyft Art by Tammy

Thanks a ton all!