Star Trek: What If...Peanut Hamper Really Redeemed Herself?
By William "Blissey" Raymer
Based on the CBS Eye Animation Productions/Titmouse, Inc. for Paramount Plus television series
Star Trek: Lower Decks
Created by Mike McMahan
Based on Star Trek Created by Gene Roddenberry
Inspired in part by the Star Trek: Lower Decks episode
"A Mathematically Perfect Redemption"
Written by Ann Kim
Series inspired by the Marvel Comics magazine series
What If
and the Marvel Studios for Disney Plus television series
What If...
Created for Television by A.C. Bradley
Author's Note: This story was inspired by a promotional message sent out by the official "startrekonpplus" (Star Trek on Paramount Plus) social media channels promoting the Star Trek: Lower Decks episode "A Mathematically Perfect Redemption," depicting a "Wing-Joining Day" announcement for exocomp Peanut Hamper and Areore leader-in-training Rawda.
It imagines how "A Mathematically Perfect Redemption" would have changed if Peanut Hamper did not send that fateful transmission to the Drookmani.
My name is Q... but I am not the one you may be thinking. I was born at a crossroad for the history of the Q Continuum.
I was born in the year the humans of planet Earth measure as 2373 when my father—the Q that made first contact with the Federation nine Earth years prior—needed to mate and produce an offspring that could inspire new thoughts and end the bloody war between the two Q factions arising from the death of the Q known as "Quinn" the year before I was born.
Originally, my father asked to mate with the person I now know as my "Aunt Kathy," Captain (now Admiral) Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager.
However, when Janeway declined, a female Q mated with my father instead...resulting in my birth.
Following the death of my father in 2401, I was chosen to assume the role my father was supposed to occupy.
That was...to chronicle the various timelines and realities our universe has experienced. I was told by the Continuum's leaders not to interfere...only to observe. I would come to realize that some of the myths and legends my father taught me about beings known as "Watchers" were based on the deeds I would do as the Watcher of the Continuum.
So, please join me as we examine the universe's ultimate question: "What if..."
CHAPTER ONE
The year is 2382, as Earth measures it. The location: the planet Areolus. On that world, a Starfleet officer named Peanut Hamper—one of the first exocomp officers—has crash-landed following her being abandoned by her vessel—the USS Cerritos—after its battle with a Pakled Clumpship.
In the year she spent with the people of Areolus, Peanut Hamper fell in love with Rawda, a native inhabitant of the planet, and heir to the leadership of his village. During this time, Peanut Hamper seemingly violated the Prime Directive by using the advanced (to the Areore) technology in her body to make life better for the Areore.
As a sign of good faith, Rawda revealed to Peanut Hamper that the Areore did possess spaceflight technology but decided not to use it—rendering Peanut Hamper's Prime Directive violations moot.
A few months later, on Peanut Hamper and Rawda's wing-joining day, a group of Drookmani junk scavengers interrupted and stole one of the advanced Aerorean starships. After firing off a distress call to the Cerritos, Peanut Hamper used a Drookmani shuttle to penetrate the Drookmani ship and sabotage it.
Then, the combined forces of the Cerritos and the other Areolean ship (piloted by Rawda) drove the Drookmani off.
As the Cerritos was about to depart with both Peanut Hamper and Rawda aboard and Peanut Hamper's Starfleet commission reactivated, a transmission was recovered from the Drookmani ship from Peanut Hamper to the Drookmani captain encouraging them to attack and steal the advanced ships.
As a result, Peanut Hamper was taken to the Daystrom Institute's Self-Aware Megalomaniacal Computer Storage facility and imprisoned with other synthetic lifeforms like her.
But what if Peanut Hamper never sent that transmission?
Our story begins on the night before Peanut Hamper and Rawda's wing-joining ceremony, as Peanut Hamper prepares to send the transmission. But, as you are about to experience, something changes her mind...
Planet Areolus
Stardate 59743.43
Earth Standard: September 29th, 2382, 1526 hours
Peanut Hamper had many thoughts running through her circuitry as she looked out the window of her hut. In just a few hours, she would be joined in (what the humans she knew would call) marriage to the Areolan chief-in-training, Rawda.
But another thought had been running through her circuitry since a week before, when Rawda had shown her the ancient (but still advanced, compared to Federation tech) Areolan starships which were buried under the village.
And so, she made a communications antenna appear and prepared to send a transmission to the Drookmani pirates who had attacked her in the Pakled debris field a year before.
But, before she could begin the transmission, Peanut Hamper remembered the fun times she had with the Areolan people...and most especially her intended, Rawda. In that very moment, Peanut Hamper realized that she had finally found someone and something worth sacrificing her very existence for.
Peanut Hamper let out a satisfied sigh and made the antenna disappear. "Good night, Rawda my love," Peanut Hamper said before shutting down her systems for the night.
The Drookmani pirates proceeded to Areolus just as they did in the Prime timeline—just without Peanut Hamper's transmission and merely following the warp trail of Peanut Hamper's jury-rigged warp sled. Upon entering orbit, the Drookmani pirates detected the technology on the ancient ships and proceeded to attack the Areolan village—just as Peanut Hamper and Rawda were joined in marriage.
Just as in the original timeline, Peanut Hamper—still fearful of being sent to a penal colony for violating the Prime Directive—stole a Drookmani shuttle and crashed her way onto the Drookmani ship and sabotaged it.
Finally, after the Cerritos and Rawda's ancient ship worked together to drive off the Drookmani, the senior officers of the Cerritos beamed onto the planet in order to initiate first contact. However, after being reassured that the Areolan people knew of spaceflight and the Federation due to their own ancient technology and by the appearance of Peanut Hamper, the Cerritos' officers relaxed. It was then that Peanut Hamper floated to a stop in front of the Cerritos' officers.
"Captain Freeman, sir, I hereby submit myself for disciplinary action on charges of being AWOL and violations of the Prime Directive," Peanut Hamper said to the African American woman at the head of the party from the Cerritos.
Captain Carol Freeman, commander of the Cerritos, smiled at Peanut Hamper. "In this case, Ensign, discipline will not be required," Freeman said. "You survived your time in the Pakled debris field under incredible odds, saved an entire species and their way of life and even began diplomatic negotiations with said species—all on your own initiative."
"I intend to recommend you for both a promotion to Lieutenant and the Starfleet Medal of Valor," Freeman continued.
Rawda then turned to his father, Kaltorus. "Father, I cannot bear to live here without Peanut Hamper," Rawda said. "I request permission to leave this planet and live with her on the Cerritos..."
Rawda then turned to face Freeman. "...with your permission, of course, Captain Freeman," Rawda finished.
"On one condition," Freeman said. "Your native wedding day was disrupted by the Drookmani attack, so please permit me to perform your Federation-style wedding."
And so, a few days later, Freeman stood in the main shuttlebay of the Cerritos in front of Peanut Hamper—now wearing a dress uniform—and Rawda.
"Ladies, gentlebeings and honored guests," Freeman said, indicating the members of the Cerritos crew and Areolans watching the ceremony. "We are gathered here today to join Ensign Peanut Hamper and Rawda, son of Kaltorus, in the bonds of matrimony under Federation law."
"Do you, Rawda, take Peanut Hamper to be your lawfully-wedded wife? Do you promise to share all that you are with her for as long as your lives may last?" Freeman said.
"With all that I am, I do promise," Rawda said in the Areolan manner. Freeman then turned to face Peanut Hamper.
"Do you, Peanut Hamper, take Rawda to be your lawfully-wedded husband? Do you promise to share all that you are with him for as long as your lives may last?" Freeman said.
"With all that I am, I do promise," Peanut Hamper said, also in the Areolan way.
"Then, under the authority vested in me by the United Federation of Planets, I now...officially...pronounce you husband and wife," Freeman said. "You may kiss the bride."
Rawda and Peanut Hamper shared their first kiss as Federation-registered husband and wife.
An hour later, the reception was underway when Freeman gestured for silence and attention. "Ladies and gentlebeings, your attention, please," Freeman said, holding a PADD. "I have just received a communique from Starfleet Command."
Freeman cleared her throat and began to read the file on the PADD, while Ensign Bradward Boimler stepped up to Freeman, holding a case embossed with the Federation seal and Ensign Beckett Mariner blew a boatswain's whistle.
"'Attention to orders. To all who shall see these presents, greetings,'" Freeman began. "'Know Ye that reposing special trust and confidence in the fidelity and abilities of Peanut Hamper, I do hereby promote her to the rank of full Lieutenant in the Starfleet of the United Federation of Planets, to rank as such from this date, Stardate 59746.'"
Freeman smiled at Peanut Hamper as she continued, "'THIS OFFICER will therefore carefully and diligently discharge the duties of the grade to which appointed by doing and performing all manner of things thereunto pertaining. And WE do strictly charge and require those officers and other personnel of lesser grade to render such obedience as is due to an officer of this grade and position. And this Officer is to observe and follow such orders and directions as may be given from time to time by Superior Officers acting according to the rules and articles governing the conduct of the Starfleet of the United Federation of Planets. This commission is given under my hand on this date, Stardate 59746. Signed, Admiral Edward Jellico, Chief of Operations, Starfleet Command.' Ensign Boimler?"
Boimler stepped forward, held the case so that once opened, Peanut Hamper could not see the contents, then withdrew an isolinear optical chip. Boimler opened the chip reader bay on Peanut Hamper's body, withdrew a chip marked "Ensign" and put the chip marked "Lieutenant" in the slot in its place.
A second full rank pip appeared on Peanut Hamper's dress uniform. "Thank you, Captain," Peanut Hamper said.
"You're welcome, but that's not all," Freeman said before accessing a separate file on the PADD. "'It is with great pride and responsibility that I hereby present Lieutenant Peanut Hamper of the Federation Starship USS Cerritos with the Starfleet Medal of Valor for services above and beyond the call of duty in saving the people of the planet Areolus from destruction by Drookmani pirate scavengers on Stardate 59744.3. Her courageous actions saved not only the crew of the Cerritos but the people of Areolus. Signed, Rear Admiral Kathryn Janeway, Starfleet Command.'"
Boimler then removed a medallion from the case he held and handed it to Freeman, who had stepped over to stand directly in front of Peanut Hamper. "Congratulations, Lieutenant," Freeman said before using the magnet on the medallion to affix it to Peanut Hamper's casing.
Rawda sniffed back a tear before giving Peanut Hamper a peck (no pun intended) on the casing. "Congratulations, Peanut Hamper my love," Rawda said.
"Thank you, Mr. Ambassador," Peanut Hamper said before returning the peck.
:TBC:
Author's Note: Further chapters will be delayed until 28 October 2022 in order to allow me to watch the remaining three episodes of Lower Decks Season 3 and determine what elements of those episodes are to be altered or altogether replaced (if needed) in order to accommodate the presence of Peanut Hamper and Rawda on the Cerritos during these events. Please bear with me and look forward to what is to come.
