Author's Note: This was sitting in the docs for a while. Like over a year a while. Just a vague idea and some frustration about there not being enough competent Ichigo in One Piece stories. There's just something that really frustrates me when I see hundreds of these horribly written naruto and harry potter crossovers where they're absolute gods and have ridiculously large harems, you know what I'm talking about. This is, kind of a parody of those sorts of stories I guess? Ichigo is absolutely broken in this and a lot of it comes off as crack but I'm going to try and not lean into that so much. It's kind of weird because I remember planning this story and all the things Ichigo would do when flying around as a plot device to fix tragic backstories but right now I'm not sure where it's going. I was trying for altruistic god that punches bad guys and fixes hurt people but right now Ichigo is just this out of character apathetic mess. I kind of like it. Anyways read on, I hope you have a laugh.
Ichi
Like always, Ichigo comes to himself after his parents die.
It's always both. Never just one of them. Never like his first life.
His immortal soul thinks its just more of a hassle than anything else. It's a bit hard to live a normal life in the worlds he ends up on when he's immediately booted into orphan status.
The Ichigo native to this world, the eight year old one in his head is sobbing for Mama and Papa who won't ever open their eyes again and don't breathe~
They were normal. Ordinary. A carpenter and a seamstress. Not anything significant unless you needed new clothes or work done on your house.
A thick worn blanket of bright colors with patterns of waves and rays of light. A well-worn carved bird, roughly hewn by inexperienced hands while he sat in his father's lap.
He's pretty sure it was typhoid fever.
All the villagers, small crowd that they are, come to the funeral.
The pyre that is. Because that's what you do when an deathly illness sweeps into a small town and no one knows how to treat it. Of course, with Ichigo's luck they have just the barest idea of how sickness spreads and practical lot that they are, when Ichigo's parents go up in flames so does his house.
Small feet padding swiftly over wooden floors, giggles as Papa stomps exaggeratingly on his trail in chase.
Of course, because the village is so damn small, everyone knows everyone. So everyone knows that little Ichi is now an orphan without a home. Of course, they're just a poor small village with not much in the way of excess so taking on an extra growing mouth is not something any of them are eager to do. He's not sure if his parents had any friends here. He recognizes most of them, eyes glancing over them as they give their condolences and tears.
He's not sure if it makes him upset that some of them honestly feel terrible that they're not trying to help him. He has a gut feeling that if he really tried and begged one of them to let him stay with them, they would cave.
He doesn't need that. They can choke on their guilty consciences for all he cares. He's been here before.
Oh so he's decided to be apathetic this time around.
Ichigo doesn't even wait till his past turns to ash before leaving.
Some of them turn to look and their eyes go wide or they clench their fists in indecision.
Ichigo doesn't even blink.
They don't matter. None of this matters.
The forest outside the village is less of a forest and more of a jungle. It grows and thickens as he trudges deeper into it and he knows that the trees that seem so large to him here must be dwarfed by the ones that grow on the mountainside.
"Never go into the forest without Papa, I don't want you getting lost with all the dangerous critters in there."
Ichigo leans against a tree absentmindedly as he catalogues the sounds of nature.
Even now, so many years after finding himself he's able to take pleasure in just existing among nature. None of those pesky morals or instincts or even thought. Just life prevailing as it always does.
A small Pesquisa goes a long way towards finding out what kind of life he's among though. Just a nearly inaudible click of his tongue and his reiatsu echoes forth, collecting information and dispersing it back instantaneously.
Ichigo narrows small amber orbs at a snake ponderously winding its way down the very tree he's leaning against.
The snake goes back up.
From what he could tell it's mostly what you could expect from a jungle like this. Snakes, monkeys, apes and gators. Lots of birds too. Pesquisa is always the better choice for simple excursions like this. While he's become immensely better at using reikaku and reiraku, they're not much use for something this base. The hollow counterpart is much better for gleaning simple information and processing it.
Ichigo remembers when he learned to see the soul in every small bit of life and instantly overloaded his brain.
Ichigo drags a diminutive hand over the rough bark of the tree, feeling so very small against the large expanse of the tree and taking some measure of a humbling. It's a bit hard to see yourself as an all-powerful immortal when he periodically becomes a tiny child every couple of centuries or so.
There's a note of something like tenderness in him that makes him open his reikaku and peer into vibrant soul of the tree.
Not young, but not old either. He's sure that one day this tree would be just as tall and thick as its elder brothers deeper in the forest.
"I know you can't hear me. But I can hear you and I wanted to say thank you."
Now he can get to work.
Ichigo holds a hand out and mentally incants a seldom used bakudo. It's been so long since he devised it he can't even remember what he based the spell off of but the technique takes shape immediately and a weightless hand axe glows to life in his hand. It's all purposed from barriers and condensed reiatsu and seems more of like a party trick than anything else, but it works for now. After all,
The boy remembers his father's workshop, the air full of sweat and sawdust and the shelves packed with projects and tools.
he's starting from scratch.
Ichigo's not sure how long he's been going for. This child's body should have, would have broken and given in by now but Ichigo's long past the point of suffering from mortality. His soul tells it to keep going, so it keeps going.
It's not healthy, but he's reasonably sure he can subsist on nothing but his soul's reiryoku indefinitely.
He's got a lot of work to do. But he's already made decent progress. He's picked out a plot already, on the outskirts of town with plenty of space and has most likely way too many stacked logs piled up.
He thinks it's been a couple of days.
His mind has gotten to the point where it can just drift and his body continues the work on auto-pilot. The cynical psychologist in him calls it a form of dissociation. The old man in him just cackles, beats him over the head and calls it meditation.
I'm hungry
Ichigo's stomach rumbles.
His scowl points down and looks towards the village. He thinks some of them have come by to talk to him. Maybe to offer help or pity. He can't even recall if any of them questioned how an eight year old was able to lug great heaps of wood from the forest in quantities like this but it's fine.
He's gotten a good start.
"Ichi! I'm back!"
Ichigo's brows furrow as his ears catch up with his brain. Maybe it's not such a good thing that he gets so lost in his head he can't tell when someone is walking directly towards him from a direction he's looking in.
The soul walking towards him belongs to a small girl with a cascade of viridian swaying in the wind and a smile that's as blinding as her soul.
Food!
He notices that she also seems to be carrying a too large basket with a cloth cover.
"Huh?" Ichigo eyes her warily as she comes to a stop before him. "Who are you?"
I know her!
"Wait, you're name's Makaroni right?" Ichigo snaps at her.
That's not it!
The girl frowns at him before giggling in mirth. "You're so silly Ichi! I'm Makino, remember?"
Ichigo absolutely doesn't eye the basket in her hands as he deadpans. "Sure."
She shakes her head exasperatingly at him as if he's the child. "You must really be hungry."
Ichigo tears his gaze away from the definitely not heavenly smelling food in the basket and looks into her doe like eyes. "Why are you here?"
Makino just gives him a look and Ichigo feels a drop of sweat bead on his forehead as he feels his intelligence being questioned. Suddenly, he finds the basket being shoved at him and the girl is laying out a quilt that seems to materialize from nothing.
"Sit."
Ichigo's legs betray him and his eyes avert from her automatically in what he recognizes as conditioned behavior even though he's never even seen this girl before.
Makino's scary...
"I promised that I would come back with food for you and you promised that you would eat. And you can't break a promise." She declares with all the authority of an eight year old who's never been told no.
As Makino passes him a plate and Ichigo resigns himself to taking a break from his work he vows to never space out again. Who knew that Ichigo's subconscious was so pliant?
"I-I know your parents are gone and I'm sorry that I couldn't come to the funeral, Mama and Papa wouldn't let me." Ichigo's taken aback at the whiplash turn in conversation as she piles drizzling sandwiches and meat on his plate. Even though he doesn't hold any love for the parents that raised him in this life-
That's not true! I love Mama and Papa more than anything!
it somehow raises his opinion of her that she doesn't apologize for their deaths or give him pity for it. Sympathy and pity are worth less than nothing for an orphan.
"But you can't just run yourself into the ground like this if you're gonna achieve your dream!" She nearly skewers him with a fork and Ichigo's eyes crossed as he stares at it distantly realizing that this would be somewhat threatening if he was a normal kid.
"Dream?" The word falls from his mouth without thought and Makino instantly looks crushed. A lot goes through his mind at that moment. Experience and trauma has taught him that apathy and distance are the perfect tools to wield against gestures like this but Ichigo has always been more than his experiences.
He might be older than dirt and stronger than god but Ichigo just doesn't like it when little girls cry. Even if this girl will be a corpse in what feels like a blink to him, he'll remember. And that matters. That makes her matter.
And so it is guilt and maybe even a small bit of curiosity that makes him creak open the door in his mind that leads to this world's Ichigo. He never does this. It makes him feel human and something of the Ichigo of his first life always comes to the fore and that just makes it worse because even though he's so much more than that now, he's so much less than what he was. And once that door opens, it never stays shut. Not really.
And as the eight year old Ichigo desperately reaches through the door and the timeless soul of Ichigo flinches in response he realizes it's not desperation at all but something that's like confidence, hope and willpower. That unmarred tiny hand grips his scarred and wrinkled fingers and the Dream burns in his veins and sears down into his bones.
My Dream is to...!
"To build the best home. Ever."
What a dumb fucking dream.
Makino's unnaturally bright grin blinds him and he swallows a sigh.
Well not like he had anything better to do.
Ichigo tucks into the meal with vigor opposite of Makino. In spite of the numerous different styles of table manners he's learned of over the years, he prefers to eat like nature intended. As in like an animal that doesn't know when the next time they'll get a meal.
Makino is daintily picking at her sandwich, tearing pieces off and swallowing them with a unhurried air even as her eyes stare unblinking at him. He's not currently utilizing his reiyoku and damn does that make his body hungry.
Greasy seasoned meats, neatly cut sandwiches and even bare bone find themselves torn and crushed in his insatiably hungry iron stomach. Ichigo swallows the last bit of food with a loud crunch and he wipes at his mouth uncouthly. "Yo, why are you helping me? And what would you do if I didn't eat?"
Makino folds her hands on her lap so demure and polite it makes Ichigo feel just a tiny bit guilty for spreading crumbs and making a mess of their picnic. "You're my best friend of course I'm gonna help you! Your dreams are my dreams and my dreams are yours!"
He's not sure if he's heard friendship described like that. Certainly, he'd heard similar sentiments and held unspoken bonds with people like that before but just the way she acts as if holding such regard for a friend is the normal thing to do hits a certain way.
"And if you didn't eat I'd uhh-" She stops for a moment, biting her lip in concentration. "I'd wait for you to get so hungry you couldn't move and feed you myself!"
Ichigo's eye twitches. Well that's certainly one way to do that. "You're a strange girl."
"Nobody's weirder than you Ichi!"
Ichigo folds his arms and stares her down because obviously he can't let that go unchallenged. "What makes me so weird?"
Makino doesn't hesitate before pointing straight at his head, eyes proud. "Your hair!"
Ichigo grips his bright orange locks with intensity and narrows his eyes at her. "There's nothing wrong with my hair! It's completely natural, I got it from my mom!"
There's a sudden silence as a twinge runs through Ichigo's body and he crumples a bit at the foreign emotions streaming through his head.
Mama...
There it is.
Makino shifts closer and brushes a hand through Ichigo's hair seemingly unaware of personal boundaries. "It's weird. But it's a good weird! It's only Ichi's color and that makes it special!" She says with a small smile, some amount of understanding passing through her eyes.
Ichigo snorts and shakes his hair out after. He'd let her have her moment, but he'd be damned if he let her keep her hands up there for too long. He's had sisters before.
"Well, I'd better get back to work." He stands and stretches out a bit feeling better after having eaten. He still hasn't slept a wink, but he's not gonna let her know that.
Makino begins cleaning up their little impromptu picnic and he watches her, wondering what it is that makes her special. He's been an emotionless bastard for a lot of his lives. He's snapped out of it before too but never this quickly or with this little amount of resistance. Maybe he'd just become that much of pushover over his recent lives but he's not sure.
"Makino... What's your dream?"
Makino grins widely. "I wanna be like my Papa of course! He's the best ever! He's friends with everyone and he makes the best food and he tells me the best stories!"
Ichigo nods back and scratches at his head. He's not so sure about him being the best ever but he'll take Makino's word for it. It's certainly more reasonable than his dream.
"I uhh I guess I'll help you with your dream too."
Makino somehow smiles even more, bright light flooding his retinas. "Thanks Ichi!"
"I'm gonna need to start wearing sunglasses around you huh?"
"What was that?"
He sighed. "Nothing."
As Ichigo continued to drag wood and craft tools from his spiritual energy he thought. Not so deeply he would dissociate again, wouldn't want anything else to sneak up on him.
When he had started gathering materials he had assumed he would just construct something simple. A cabin with a bed and a chair and maybe a few windows. Something he was used to.
He's not quite sure why he had dragged so much wood over, it's a scary thought that this brat's will was so strong to influence his actions even with the door closed on him.
But now that he had inherited that dream, the best home, it wasn't something he could half-ass. He'd have to actually work for this for once. He knew enough about the basics of construction, carpentry and other related fields to put a roof over his head.
He didn't know shit about aesthetics, stonemasonry and advanced constructions. And you couldn't even call those the most important aspects of a home.
Ichigo knew you could live in the largest, most expensive house and still feel ill at ease. You needed to have a familiarity with it, a bond. It couldn't be too old or too new or it just wouldn't feel right! Even now, so many years after his first life, he could still recall the scrubbed linoleum counters, the oak coffee table with stains on it, that third step from the top of the staircase that always groaned whenever you stepped on it, and the chip in the sink that his dad put there after slamming him into it.
His dad's antics, his mother's portrait, Yuzu's coddling, Karin's attitude. Family. Home was tied to security and unity and love. He wasn't sure how he could recreate that. That feeling in a house. Man, this was more complicated than he thought it would be.
Ichigo sighed as he traced out a floorplan in the dirt. He'd keep it small for now. Simple but with a modular design in mind so he could add to it. He could renovate from there. And he couldn't just keep making everything out of wood either, he'd have to go into town at some point to try and earn some money.
It looks like he might need Makino's help after all.
"Yo Makino-Urk!"
Ichigo strangles himself mid-sentence as he's addressing the girl. He'd been holding onto the brat's consciousness to find her house and evidently, that was a mistake. He'd found Makino around the back of her family's bar/house doing laundry. Specifically, hanging up clothes to dry. More specifically, hanging up her underwear.
Of course, to the old soul that is Ichigo, that means absolutely nothing. But to the eight-year old hijacking control of his body, that little detail is what he instantly focuses on. He's not even evolved from innocent brat to a broody prudish teenager yet and somehow the kid still white-screens his brain and short-circuits his nerves.
Makino is understandably confused when she turns around to see Ichigo with his back to her, pounding his own face in with his fist as if he's trying to beat back the blush that's creeping up his neck.
P-P-P-Polka Dot!
"I-I-Ichi? What are you doing? Don't hurt yourself!" Makino frowns at him.
Ichigo's eyes are unfocused as he continues to speedrun retroactive amnesia.
"It's healthy."
"For who?!"
"My sanity."
"What's that?"
"Exactly."
Eventually, Makino convinces Ichigo to stop killing his brain cells and he's able to get to the point of his visit.
"Makino. How do I get money?"
Makino blinks. "Oh, you mean beri? Well, Mama and Papa make beri by running Party's Bar but Mama also likes to buy and sell things at the market. But you don't have a bar or any beri to buy anything." She frowns actually concerned. "How have you been feeding yourself when I'm not around?"
Ichigo scratches his neck nervously. "Ah, um hunting and stuff."
"Ichi you know how to hunt?! But you're so small?"
"Yeah, I-uhh I just sneak up on them and hit them with a big stick."
Ichigo's a little ashamed that he doesn't have to lie here. The short story is that he's a massive cheater and that's the entirety of his hunting knowledge.
"Wow! Ichi's so cool!" Makino's eyes sparkle at him.
Shit. Now he has an image of Makino trying to imitate him and sneaking up on a tiger or some shit and wacking it on the head with a stick.
"I-It's actually a special stick! There's only one and it's made for me. That's why only I can use it."
"Ichi has a special hunting stick!"
Damn, she's gonna brag about this all day! People are actually gonna start to look around his house for a special hunting stick, but there isn't one!
"A-Ah, you can't actually talk about it though. It's a secret special hunting stick. My mom was attacked by a monster with a stick but then my dad saved her with his own stick and killed the monster but when I was born I needed a stick so my dad took his stick and the monster's stick and my mom actually helped with her secret stick magic and they made it one stick. So it's a secret special monster hunter hunting stick."
"Wow! Ichi has a secret special monster hunter hunting stick!? Eh? But how come I never see you bring any animals when you come back from the forest?"
Gah! I'm in too deep!
And that's how Ichigo started hunting large predators with a stick.
"Eh, so why are we going to the market?" Ichigo asked as he walked beside Makino with his hands stuck into his pockets. Huh, these clothes are getting kind of ratty. He'd need to get some new ones soon.
Makino held onto her oversized beach hat in the vigorous wind, trying in vain to get her hair stay in one place. "You said need to get beri. And to do that you need to sell something or to work. You could probably sell some animal parts in the market because of the you-know-what-"
Ichigo's eye twitched as he considered relieving himself of more brain cells.
"But Mister Guillermo has been the village's biggest hunter for years so I don't think anyone would buy from you. So we have to go find work you can do!"
Ichigo sighed as the path opened up to the village proper. The market was abuzz with activity well, as much as the town could muster anyways. Everywhere he looked people were engaged in conversation and haggling over prices. In particular, Ichigo identified the man Makino called Guillermo, practically yelling as he raved about the quality of his meat.
"So what do you think?"
Ichigo folded his hands behind his head as he looked around at the stalls and the variety of professions on display. "I don't know, I don't know how to do most of this stuff, so isn't it a waste?"
Well, he could accomplish most of this stuff if he just cheated but he couldn't sew or paint or cook that well. Not well enough to beat out the competitors he'd have anyways.
Makino grabbed his hand in the next moment tugging him along. "Oy!" Ichigo protested as he was dragged.
"Well, if you can't do this stuff now, we'll just have to find someone who can teach you how."
Makino darted through the throng of villagers with practiced ease until they stood before a particularly foul-smelling stand.
Oh. Fish.
Ichigo's scowl deepened as the pungent odor wafted their way. He wasn't particularly predisposed against them or anything, he was originally Japanese of course, but he's not sure if this is something he could stand to do for long. It's never been a hobby of his, even when he grew old and decrepit he'd never been that old man on a fishing dock giving advice to kids that passed by.
"Heyo Makino!" He's pretty sure that's Gyoro, his plain features and brown hair are always lit up by an exuberant smile and intense eyes. In other words, if he wasn't a handful of years older than Makino, he's pretty sure they'd be best friends.
"Hi Gyoro! Hi Boru!" Makino waves with her free hand at Gyoro and his older father with much the same features with the addition of a scowl that's apparently trying to rival his own.
"Hiya Makino." The old man grumbles out as he stares at Ichigo.
Ichigo eyed them both. "Yo."
Gyoro ignores the confrontation with all the subtlety of an elephant by elbowing by his father and gesturing to the baskets of fish on the table. "Care to take any fish home for the folks today Makino? These guys fought real hard today but me and Pa can't lose to any old fish!"
Makino smiles and shakes her head. "Not today Gyoro, I wanted to ask you something-" Ichigo swallows a sigh as he squeezes Makino's hand and steps forward. "Actually, I'm the one with the question. I don't have anyway to make some beri or whatever so I wanted to ask if you had a spot of your fishing boat. I don't know how but I can learn."
Gyoro's eyes widen before his grin grows. "That's great! If you started with us we could start taking out even more boats! That means more fish! How about it Pa?" He looks eagerly at Boru.
The older man's expression fades into something neutral as he looks over Ichigo before stepping around the stall. "Let me take a look at you boy, you ain't ever fished in yer life?"
Ichigo shook his head. "Parents never took me out." To Ichigo's dismay the man takes Ichigo's hands in his own looking them over with a flinty gaze. There's a mute second where Makino and Gyoro peek over to see what arcane bullshit the old man is doing and then absolute chaos as the old man towers over Ichigo and yells. "Over my dead and drowned body!"
"Ehh?! But why Pa?!" Gyoro keens from his position sprawled on the ground. "Yeah! Why?" Makino demands as she shakes from behind Ichigo at the sudden volume.
Ichigo for his part folds his arms and glares up the crazy man because why can't he go the man's shitty boat!?
Ichigo's not that worked up, except he knows Makino's been helping him a lot and he doesn't want her to worry so much.
The old man grinds his teeth at the boy. "Cause you ain't a fisherman boy! People say anyone can fish but that's bullshit! You gotta be born to fish! You gotta be able to listen to waves and sing to the denizens of the deep! You gotta serenade them fish all the way to your net and keep 'em nice and docile! You gotta be able to build your skill with raw experience and turn a deaf ear to the currents! You gotta be able to scream at them fish and beat them into submission with your paddle! You can't come up here with hands like that and ask me to make you a fisherman!"
Well, first Ichigo is insulted because no one appreciates nature like he does and how dare he insinuate otherwise and second he realizes the old coot is clearly off his rocker because he just contradicted everything he said at the same time.
"Well who needs your shitty fishing anyways geezer! You're crazy and dumb as a rock!" Ichigo yells back with narrow eyes. Boru huffs at him. "You clearly ain't got any patience for the craft either! You couldn't catch a minnow with a Grand Line pole brat!"
Ichigo rolls his eyes at the man and grabs Makino's hand in irritation. "Let's go Makino, clearly this old guy just wants to waste our time!" Makino looks back and forth between them. "Wait, Gyoro!" The plain man shrugs with a disappointed smile. "Sorry Makino, it's Pa's decision that counts."
The two trudged away with Ichigo frowning under the weight of Makino's disappointment.
Their task seemed doomed from the start. Even with Ichigo breaking out his softest smiles and most innocent eyes, no one appeared to need help. They were either too busy to teach or didn't need help to begin with.
"I'm sorry Ichi, I couldn't help even though we asked all those people." Makino frowns sadly as she tries to hold back tears. Ichigo is once more mentally being throttled by the eight-year old in his head because he needs to Stop it! Don't make Maki cry!
He's not sure what it says about him that he capitulates so fast.
Ichigo scowls even as he rubs Makino's head softly like she was one of his younger sisters. "It's alright Makino. I've got an idea." He says as he eyes the old doctor's clinic.
It's time to do what he does best nowadays.
Cheat.
The one and only doctor in their village has been dead for a few months now, his knowledge and practice going unused because no one bothered to think what would happen when he was gone.
Oh, Doc Barol? He's old as dirt but there's no way he'll die anytime soon. He's too smart for that. There's absolutely no chance that one day he'll trip down his front steps and crack his head open. Why would we need another doctor?
Ichigo digresses. The clinic is in decent shape for not having been maintained for a few months. From what he knows, the doctor didn't have any relatives and for whatever reason it hasn't been stripped of everything valuable inside. Meaning, it's his for the taking.
In theory anyways. He just has to convince a few of the older folk that an eight-year old can in fact provide proper medicinal treatment to an entire village.
"Hey old man. I want the clinic. I'm gonna be the new doctor."
Woop Slap, and if that isn't one of the most unique and hilarious names he's ever heard, spits out his coffee as if Karin made it. Sorry, Karin.
"You want what now brat?!"
"The clinic, give it to me. I'm gonna be your new doctor." He deadpans once more. There's probably a better way of going about this but honestly, Ichigo's this close to hopping to another island for a couple days to rob a few pompous nobles blind to solve his problems.
The mayor looks down at him in disbelief and not a small amount of disdain for brats who don't conform to his logic. "And how's that? No one's gonna come to a damned eight-year old for medical advice and treatment." He pulls his newspaper back up to ignore Ichigo. "Start making tracks kid, you'd have to pull off some kind of medical miracle for anyone to trust your word."
As if on cue a scream echoes down the street. "Ahh! Somebody get a doctor! Guillermo's been mauled by a tiger! Ah! His guts are spilling out and is his eye hanging from the socket?!"
"Sure."
No, he didn't somehow orchestrate this He kind of wishes he did because the look on Woop's face is absolute gold he'd be a pretty horrible person to convince a tiger to go after Guillermo even though he clearly over hunts some of the wildlife.
Suddenly Ichigo isn't so sure about the role his subconscious plays when his soul interacts with creatures without any will of their own in this universe.
Well, he didn't do it on purpose and that's what matters. Right?
Wow, you're really good at lying to yourself
In the end, Ichigo somehow convinces Makino to not come with when he approaches the wounded Guillermo. He cannot handle another traumatized little girl, then he would have to play therapist and he does not have the patience for that. And then he somehow convinces Guillermo's wife to let him save the unconscious man. There isn't another doctor for who knows how many miles and just because old Mika down the street sews really well, it doesn't mean she doesn't faint at the sight of a man lying in the street with his intestines hanging out.
And so in the dusty old previously abandoned clinic, Ichigo pretends to work really hard even though he healed Guillermo hours ago and just added some stitches for appearance.
What? He's good, he's really damn good at playing doctor but he's not that good. Show him a doctor that can put someone's guts back, fix a clearly exposed and bleeding brain, plop an eye back into a socket and do so while the patient bled out for close to half an hour and he'll show you someone with healing magic. Or just really practiced healing kido which is basically the same thing.
When Ichigo pops Guillermo's soul back into his body which is so much more effective than anesthesia by the way, he plays dumb when Guillermo raves about how he was a ghost and was in the room when Ichigo healed him with magic.
A ghost? Really? Clearly delusional from all that blood loss. Well, Ichigo won't complain when the man proclaims he'll owe Ichigo for the rest of his life and skips out of the clinic crying about how Ichigo saved his life and that his skills are magical.
No, he won't complain at all. What he will do is clean all that blood off and then smugly smirk at Woop even as the old man's brain short circuits.
Makino's really impressed too which is cool he guesses. At least he settled this whole money thing. And no, he doesn't find any irony in the fact that a child who's parents were lost to disease and then abandoned by their village is now the sole person responsible for their health. And if all his remedies and medicines taste like acid and smell like dung then that's just a coincidence. The worse it tastes, the better it is for you right? Something like that.
