AUTHOR'S NOTE:
- ALVINNN! and The Chipmunks Cartoon Universe CGI Series (2015-present day)
- Age-wise, the chipmunks are 8 years old, are in elementary school, and are 12 inches tall.
- I have to give thanks to
- Siller80
- Sofia2017 planning
- for the ideas and help and for beta the story
chapter 1
Alvin's point of view.
My name is…well it was Alvin Bennett Seville and up until fairly recently I was one of the singers with my brothers and the Chipettes in a band called 'Alvin and the Chipmunks.' Not saying I can't sing anymore, because I still can sing, ok…. Right now I just don't feel like singing or being in front of people when I do sing.
And now my new name is Allison Elizabeth McKenna Seville. Yeah I know, it's a long name and that can be explained A little later. Including why I have a girl's name and why I have to go by my new name from now on instead of my old name. (And not by choice either I must say.)
I got two brothers who are very worried about me and three adopted sisters. Which, two of them are very worried about me. The third one in pink…I don't trust her anymore, nor do I ever speak to her at all, unless I have to. But for good reason. So she's on her own. Even her two sisters hardly ever talk to her now and it is because of the actions that she did recently.
I also got other friends that keep sending me emails asking how I'm doing. I…I only talk with a few through email that I'm closest to. Which are Chip, Ashley and a few others. But I talk with Chip and Ashley the most.
You see the one in pink, well she did something that everyone in the family isn't very proud of. So she's gonna have to work double or triple and even four times harder just to earn our trust back. (Especially my trust.) So she has a very long ruff bumpy road ahead of her for our trust again.
Theodore and Eleanor are the drummers in the band and those to switch from time to time. So sometimes you will see Eleanor at the drums with Theodore singing and vice versa. And those two make a good… No, let's face it head-on instead. They make a great couple and they are very open with each other and help each other out all the time. Plus they do play with each other's ears a lot. How do I know, I have seen them do it and it's a chipmunk thing. So yeah they are a couple now, but they just don't know yet. Or at least one of them doesn't know it yet and that would be my little brother. But the other one does know it and she's ok with it, with Teddy getting confused.
Simon and Jeanette…the dork couples would make a great couple if they could… You know I think I need to explain something first about those two. You see those two always get so nervous with each other when they talk about their feelings for each other. Simon always begins to stutter his words when he tries to tell Jeanette his feelings about her.
As for Jeanette, for some oddball reason, she always blushes around Simon with her left ear twitching around Simon about her feelings towards him. So they're gonna have to get past that hurdle for their feelings. However, they always help out each other for…well anything. Simon and Jeanette are also guitarists and they do country as well.
As for the one in pink…I did have some feelings for her. But not anymore and now…I'm still hurt by how she tried to read my tablet. You see Dave got me my tablet so I can process what's been done to me. (…Sighed…) I do care about her, but right now. I want nothing to do with her and…Im just gonna need some time to process. She's probably better off finding someone else anyways. Because it's gonna take me a very long time to finally get over what's been done to me.
Now all of us can sing in the band and each one of us does get our leads. (Dave makes sure of that and to make it fair for all of us when we do sing leads) We all have pretty long hair in our group and sometimes it's because of our busy schedules. But mostly it's because we all like it long and we look good with it long.
We even have the hairstyle that we like. Simon has a scientist ponytail and I'm not sure what's the difference between a scientist ponytail and a regular ponytail. Theodore has a drummer's style ponytail and I have a Rockstar ponytail. But I keep my hair in a tight ponytail braid most of the time. But that's because I got wild mondo curly hair like my mom.
My hair used to be a dirty light blonde but now is a new color and which I'm still getting used to seing. I love everything about our band that we have with one small exception. I do not enjoy our somewhat tight full colorful one-piece jumpsuits that we have to wear on stage when we sing. Mine is a bright red and we all have the colors that we like.
You see my whole life got turned upside down and changed completely after waking up in a hospital bed. And after finding out that the changes that have been done to me are permanent.
So when I woke up in a hospital bed, I certainly didn't appreciate it one bit. And now I'm stuck looking like what I look like and will stay this way for a very long time. Maybe even for the rest of my life. I even found out that the crazy psychopath doctor that did this to me…has virtually disappeared into thin air. As in can't be found at all with no trace of evidence to be found anywhere. And I do mean NOWHERE! It's like the guy never existed at all.
All the crazy psychopath doctor did was drop me off at the hospital in the middle of the night…after doing whatever he/she did to me. He/she wanted to make sure that I would be found in the morning with lots of reporters and news media in my room. Asked me all sorts of questions that had no answers for.
So yeah…Im the hottest news around town with me being the front cover of every single newspaper in town. The other thing…my whole town knows who I am and knows what's been down to me. So they all know that I'm a girl now and I'm having to deal with that issue, right along with my other issues at the same time!
But what's the worst part is…no DR. will undo what has been done to me. And it's because of legal issues. And I now understand after being explained to me by several doctors that it's also because of my age. Because right now I'm only eight years old. So I'm just not old enough and won't be old enough for several more years down the road. The only way a doctor will touch me now is if I needed emergency surgery or other injuries that may happen like a broken leg that needs surgery and stuff like that.
So I'm gonna have to wait a minimum of twelve years so I can become my old self again. That's if it is even impossible to undo what's been done to me.
You see I was forced to become a girl and now I physically look like one and will stay as looking as one for a very long, long time. Even my DNA got changed to a girls DNA. How…I don't know. But I will be stuck like this for a very long, long time. Probably for the rest of my life.
I got my Elephant size large ears that are even larger than before I got changed…pierced with five, 'pinkish gold' hoop earrings in each ear. I even have little pink hart shape ear tags in both ears that say 'I'm a girl.' I found out that the pinkish gold earrings and the ear tags are permanent and can't be taken out unless I cut them off… I mean the earrings and the ear tags, not the ears. Because I like my big ears and my ears sorta run in the family. You see my ears are a gift from mommy as well as a few other treats that got from her. But that's not all that's been done to me either.
My nose…well it use to be a light brown color but now it got changed to a light strawberry color instead. And I have…I'm gonna have to… You see the the doctors aren't really sure how to cut my metallic bull nose ring off of me thats permanently attached to my nose. If they could just cut the ring itself, they would of done that already.
So the other way is to cut part of my my noes and stitch it up again. And that would leave a scar around my nose for the rest of my life. And thats something the doctors aren't comfortable doing right now. They can do something, but they know I've been through enough so far.
So I'm truly stuck with having a permanent bull nose ring attached to my nose…. probably for the rest of my life. And I hate having it. It make me feel like I'm someone's personal pet/pay thing! And which I was up to a degree for….THAT BASTARD PSYCHOPATH NUTCASE DOCTOR! I hate him/her so much for what I was put throw and done to.
On my head I have a pair of metallic antennas that are permanently attach to my head. I found out they can't be cut off when the psychopath doctor give them to me. You see the antennas are attached to my metal skull and my metal skull cannot be removed. So I have no choice but to get use having them there. The bad part of having them, I can't even hid them at all. Not even with my new colored long hair. You see my metallic antennas start just above my forehead on each side and before my hairline starts. My metallic antennas are about six inches long, but they are at least flexible.
And since I cannot hide my metallic antennas for nothing from anyone, Dave wants me to start… Rather he would like me to see me start decorating them with ribbons and bows and make them look more appealing to others to see. And in a way, Dave's right. I guess Dave just wants me to try and make the best of having them and look fun for me to have for others to see with a few bows at the very ends. And Eleanor also agrees with Dave about me having metallic antennas.
On both of my wrists, I have two, solid pinkish gold, that are solid bands, that are very girly-looking bracelets with cute little red and pink rhinestone hearts going all the way round that are permanently stuck around both of my wrists. As in I tried to take them off and when I did, I almost broke and sprained both of my wrists while trying to do so. So the only way to take them off is to cut them off with a saw as well.
Even my fingernails and toenails have been changed too! My new fingernails are so strong that I even broke several pairs of fingernail clippers trying to make them shorter. And yeah my fingernails and toenails are some how always red and will stay red. Even my toenails are permanently red….with the same material as my fingernails. And so everyone knows, I don't go to get pedicures at 'nails are us.' So mater what I have to get used to always having red fingernails and and toenails.
I think my fingernails are made with something like a cross between metal and bone together. But truthfully, I'm not sure what my new nails are made of. But I do know they are very strong, they do grow a little fast and they are always red. So I'm gonna have to find a way to trim them down somehow before they get way too long for me. And they're getting very long on me now as I write. In fact there almost an inch long on me and they feel embarrassing to me to have. I can't even hide my stupid toenails anymore because of the nails being too long. So now I have to always wear sandals that make me show my toenails and that just adds more to my embarrassment.
But what's the biggest change of all is on my chest and part of my privates. You see I got breasts now and to me they are huge. They stick out a lot and I think the size are double or triple Chipettes D's…so I have been told by a certain Chipette named Eleanor.
So no matter what or how I dress now…everyone is gonna know that I'm a girl now with my mounds sticking out through my clothing. As for my privates, they got changed to something really special. So special that I now have both working and functional parts down below.
And yes you heard me right the first time. I have what girls have inside and out with fully functional parts. And I've been told by the doctors I can get…you know…pregnant with babies growing inside me just like any other girl that wants to have babies. (And that's something I did not want to hear at all. I'm A… I was a boy for crying out loud that got turned into a girl and I hate it.)
And of course, I still have my manhood intact so to speak. (Thank goodness for that part.) But the bad part is my manhood are inside me and will stay inside forever and can't be seen at all. So now I always have to sit down to do my thing just like any other girl in the bathroom no matter what, or how I feel about going. And yes it's very embarrassing for me to have to do my thing as a girl.
And the only reason why I know I still have my manhood, it's because my new doctor told me so and he even showed me on the computer a picture of them. And you might say it was the only way my new doctor could think of to prove it to me that I still had them and earn my trust from him. So that's how I know I still have them.
The other changes are my eyes, my hair, even my fur got changed to a new color, and now I have two tails to have to deal with. Including a permanent dog collar with tags around my neck like a dog. And which I call a Wolverine Adamantium dog collar for a good reason.
So my once beautiful blue eyes are now green and will stay green for the rest of my life. My hair used to be dirty light blonde and now it's red, very bright red. And now I'm stuck wearing my Wolverine's Adamantium dog collar, even with tags that have my new name. You see everyone keeps reading what my tags say. So they automatically call me by my new name before they even ask me. Its…embarrassing to hear my new name being called out loud.
And the thing with having two tails now… Dave would like to see me wear bows on both of them for now on just like Eleanor and her sisters do. I mean the girls have one tail and they usually have a bow on their tail most of the time that matches their color signature that they like. So thats what Dave would like to see me start doing for now on and wear bows on both of my tails. He's trying to push me to…I mean Dave is more like trying to encourage me the most to be a g-i-r-l, GIRL! Whem…
But that't because what I am now and I really have no choice but to be a girl. I'm physically a girl on the outside and inside, but mentally I am not girl. My own body that once used to be a boys body, now is a girls body now. So that adds more to my mental problems and embarrassment.
My fur used to be light brown with a creamy lighter brown around my tummy. But now I sorta have a strawberry fur color all over me with a creamy lighter strawberry color around my tummy. So yeah my new fur color even makes me look like a girl. So with my new fur color, my eye, my antennas, my permanent bull nose ring and my silver Wolverine's Adamantium dog collar really shows up quite well on me.
And why I say my Wolverine's Adamantium dog collar. Well it's because my dog collar can't be cut off for nothing and my dog collar is virtually indestructible by all means. And I've already had over a few dozen people try to cut the thing off and nothing has worked. Not even tungsten diamond saws have worked. But there are a few other means that could work. But the problem is the other means are far too dangerous to try on me. Like a cutting torch, a powerful hydraulic press, or even freezing it off of me would do damage. But the main problem is, that my dog collar is so close to my neck that it would do more damage to me if they tried the other means. So I truly am I'm stuck wearing my dog collar for life…even with my new name as well.
So you can see the situation that I'm in. And when I found out what had been done to me after waking up…I was very upset. So upset that I cried my eyes out because of what had been done to me. I never wanted to be a girl in the first place. And now I'm no longer a brother to my brothers, but just their….stupid, dumb, annoying sister and will stay as one. Maybe forever now.l
The other thing that I haven't told anyone yet….not even on my tablet, nor my head shrink…yet. You see when I woke up in a hospital bed. I had to convince the doctors really hard to call Dave. So when my family came to see me…they didn't believe who I was at the time. No matter what I told them and it was because I looked like a girl to them.
And of course that made me so upset that I had a major mental breakdown right in front of everyone. With me bawling my eyes out with me spitting out some stuff that only I knew with my brothers. So after convincing them of who I really was, everyone go upset with me. And Simon… Well…he told all the doctors off and to go to hell for what they did to me. And Dave was calling his lawyer to sue the hospital for what they did to me. And that will be explained later on how it went down in the hospital.
And the only thing that the crazy psychopath nutcase doctor didn't change was my voice. I still sound like me, but with the body of a girl. He/she wanted me to physically look like a girl from head to toe, with all the functions of a girl. But with the sound of a boy's voice. So he/she wanted this to be my humiliation for the the rest of my life.
Its even embarrassing and humiliating for me when I talk to others because I do have the body of a girl that has a boys voice. And that makes people who are strangers look at me really funny like they… I don't what they think? I still don't know why the mad scientist just didn't change my voice. As for why…I don't know why and maybe I'll never find out.
And I swear if I ever find out whoever did this or wanted to do this to me for their own game. I'm gonna make sure they go to jail for life. That's locked 'em in a box with no windows to see out of and throw away the keys. Because that's fate that they deserve because of what has been done to me.
And so everyone knows. I've been home just a little over a month now. With school has already started, September came and went, and it's just the beginning of October, with Halloween around the corner. And this year, I don't wanna go trick-or-treating for obvious reasons. And Dave hasn't asked me if I want to go and I'm glad he hasn't asked me. But I think he already knows why I'm not up to going this year. And trick-or-treating was my ultimate favorite thing to do. Even with my brothers and my adopted sisters.
As for me, I mostly stay… I stay in my bedroom as much as possible I can and away from everyone as much as possible as I can stay. Unless I have to leave for other needs. After all, this is my place, it's my sanctuary and I feel safe here. I'm just not ready to let people near me, see me, talk to me, ask me questions or even hug me. And I certainly don't want to be reminded that I'm a girl and it even bothers me to look in the mirror.
I got major mental problems now and it is because of what has been done to me and what kind of torture I received. And sometimes I even think about doing the unthinkable. Which is committing suicide in the middle of the night. I'll even wake up in the middle of the night crying from being tortured. I want to forget so bad that I just want to sleep forever. So I'm being watched very closely for that reason and will continue to be watched for a while.
Dave even makes me wear small jingle bells around my ankles day and night, all the time so I can be heard moving about. And has made sure I can't take them off myself either. So I'm stuck wearing my small sleigh bells bells all the time that make noise. It makes me upset, it really bothers me all the time and I know I need mental help. But I don't blame my family for being this cautious. I know everyone is extremely worried about me and I just, I just… I want my life to get better and thats what I really want right now. Just my life to get better.
I want to get better no matter what and this whole thing that happen to me, has taking its toll on my family. Including me. You can feel it coming off of everyone and you can see it. Dave and my brothers even lose sleep because of me. And I hate…(sniff, sniff) I hate…(sniff, sniff)…
I'm doing what my Doctor has told me to do. I call her my crazy head shrink for the crazies and I'm part of that group now. She has told me that I have to write everything down about how I feel, whenever I feel, no matter what I feel. It doesn't mater where I'm at when I get a sudden thought. I still have to write every thing down. She has told me that this will help me get through my problems and process it in my own way. And no one and I do mean no one is allowed to see my tablet except for my crazy head shrink.
My crazy head shrink…I know she tries to get me to open up and talk about what I'm going through during my two-hour session every day with her. But I wind up crying and hiding in her closet most of the time. So when this happens…DR. Ruth tells me step by step what she is doing in the room. That's putting my tablet down, turning it off, giving it back to me under the closet door, grabbing a chair with a book in her hands and she begins to read me stories. And after a while, I fall asleep from being so exhausted from crying.
So yeah, I got some serious mondo, major mental problems now. My problems even have started affecting my body functions again…. Well… I need to be more honest and truthful here. The truth is…I lose full control over my body functions and it was because of the torture I went through. I…(sniff, sniff) I hate…(sniff, sniff) I hate… I hate that don't know when I'm going except for the very last second and I hate that I have became diaper dependent.
I'm not a baby…(sniff, sniff)… I'm not… (sniff, sniff)… I have to wear diapers all the time because of the torture I went through. But my doctor… He gave me some hope that I probably can regain control over my body functions again with time. But I would have to hurry really, really fast to the bathroom when ever I think I have to go. My doctor even told me to still go no mater what even if I can't make it all the way and don't give up if I can't make it in time.
So now I have to undergone the re-potty-training again. In fact both of my brothers help me the first time with the potty-training. But thats because I was a late bloomer back then. *sigh of Alvin blushing*
And that just adds more to my endless list of problems that I got. So now I'm like a roller coaster with mental problems. I suddenly get very angry, then so upset with tears, then get so humiliating that I want to hide from every one. So I never know what I will be until I can get through this and start accepting terms.
And so everyone knows, Brittany has tried one time to read what I have been writing on my tablet. But she got caught red-handed with her trying to figure out my password. That happened when I had to go to the bathroom in a hurry for…ah nature calls and no I didn't make it in time. So I had to clean myself and such.
Anyways after getting home from seeing my head shrink, Brittany got caught. And When she got caught, Dave made sure to make an example out of her to prove a point to the rest of the family because of her actions.
Dave's point was that no one is allowed to see what I have been writing no mater what. My tablet has everyone on here including my head shrink of how I feel about her a lot. But I can tell you this much. My head shrink has been called far worse than what I have called her on my tablet. My head shrink has told me that I'm just expressing how I feel and glad I'm not keeping it all bottled up in side me.
Anyways because of her actions, I was very hurt and very upset with what she did. She almost invaded my personal privacy for goodness sake. I write how I feel about everyone Including my head shrink. Anyways Brittany learned her lesson after Dave got done with her and she will never try that again. She won't even go near it to pick it up at all.
As for the rest of my family, especially coming from me! We no longer trust Brittany anymore and she will have to re-earn everyone's trust again. Especially coming from me more than ever. So I always give her the coldest shoulder I can ever give whenever I see her and I don't even bother to ever talk to her at all. Not even to say hi in sign language…unless I have to say something.
But what I don't understand is why she, or has to know so badly about what I keep on writing in my journal all the time. What is she trying to do anyways? Get information from my journal so she can post it on her stupid blog…so she can humiliate me even more than what I am now? And she keeps on sneaking around all the time trying to blend in with the surrounding. And by the way, she's doing a very poor job of it. I know I can do a better job than she ever could do. Even with my sleigh bells attached to me.
But what is Brittany trying to find out anyways? Exactly what is she up to? Why is she always sneaking around all the time at night like some hardin criminal? What is she trying to find out off of my tablet anyways? What is so important that she has to know so badly? Is she trying to find out if I know or had the name of the person that did all this to me? If I knew that, I certainly would have told Eleanor and Dave a long time ago.
But because of her actions, it makes me wonder if she really had something to do with this. And that she loves pink and that I have a lot of pink on me. So yeah I do wonder all the time. But how and why? What was the real reason. I don't think she would stoop that low just to get even with me somehow. But then again she very well could've done it somehow. But still…why would she go this deep just to humiliate me for life? What's her game anyways?
I know in the past she has always tried to humiliate me in some way or another on her stupid blog. Like one time I was helping Eleanor in the tree house with her cheerleading practice…and yeah Ellie even got me to try on one of the outfits while helping her with that. You see the main reason why Eleanor wanted help, she wanted to know which colored pom-poms would look best with the cheerleading outfits for the finals at school.
And I was more than happy to do that for her. After all, Ellie is my sports partner for all kinds of sports that we like to play. (Including football and she's pretty good I must say.) And she isn't out to humiliate me and Eleanor is the matures of her sisters. Even even though she's the youngest, she's still the matures one.
So there I was jumping up and down doing the cheerleading cheer with a cheerleading dress on me for Eleanor when Brittany walks in. And all she did was, give me a Devil-its smirk of a smile before taking my picture and posting it on her blog saying how cute I was in the cheerleading dress and I needed to join the cheerleading squad and be a girl with them. Of course Brittany got in trouble with Dave when he read about it on his phone. And she blamed me for it, but the damage had been done and it took me several long weeks of constantly explaining that I wasn't a girl at all.p.
Oh, and did I mention that she has always made me go shopping with her and forced me to do other activities whenever I have lost the bet with her? Those activities include getting my nails painted, trying on a few hundred dresses in the store, and having me appraise around the store in whatever dress she had me try on. And if that wasn't bad enough. She even had me wear a pink bunny costume at school with her Picture on the front saying…' Brittany rules.'
So yeah, I do suspect Brittany a lot in foul play and got me turned into a girl for her …(sighed) I really want to believe that Brittany had nothing to do with me getting turned into a girl. But I still have my doubts And if she did…then I… then I… then don't know what I'm going to do. It's already making me upset even thinking about it. AND SHE BETTER HAD NOT HAD A HAND OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME GETTING TURNED INTO A GIRL! BECAUSE IF SHE DID…SHE IS SO DEAD TO ME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! AND I MEAN IT!
And on top of all of that, Brittany usually gets someone else to do her dirty work for her. One time we had to make our cookies for class at school. And this time I did make my cookies…with a little help from my little brother Theodore. No, I didn't make him do the work for me this time. But he did guide me and tell me what to do. As for my cookies, I made better dog biscuits than actual cookies. But at least I got a passing grade.
And Theodore has copied my cookie recipe for Lilly treats… Oh I guess I for got to mention about her. Well Lilly is a female puppy… Actually she's a small cute little dog that we adopted from Elmwood Animal shelter after Cookie Chomper III got hit by a car one night. And Cookie Chomper III was a small gray young cat that found us one night when we were all watching a monster movie. In fact she accidentally scare the bejesus out of us that night when she jumped up meowing at us during the movie.
Anyways we adopted Lilly the next day and Lilly is a small brown little dog with a lighter brown chest and a dark-spotted brown eye. And she often keeps me company throughout the day. I think she is even worried about me as well.
As for Brittany, she just paid her two sisters to make cookies for her. However, Eleanor did add one extra ingredient to Brittany's cookies. And Eleanor called it her sweet revenge for not making them truthfully by herself. So whoever ate Brittany's cookies, had to run to the bathroom in a hurry. So she got a failing grade because of her cookies. And which I thought was funny.
As for my Family... I know they are there and they are upset with me because I won't let them near me yet. But I'm just too embarrassed to hug anyone because I have these big mounds sticking out on my chest. And they keep reminding me that they are there and I have become a girl. It just doesn't feel natural to me and I keep on trying to hide them but have very poor luck in the process.
But I am forced to get hugs every morning by a certain Chipette named Eleanor and she has been helping me in her own way to help me to get adjusted as a girl. And each time I go to take a shower, I'm still reminded again that I'm a girl because of all the changes I see and feel. It really bothers me… It's not fair that this was done to me and I hate what's been done to me and I never wanted this. And why would anybody do this to me? I just want closure. I want to know why this had to happen to me. What game are they trying and what for? What was the main reason for me to be a girl anyways?
The other thing that I have to do is deal with it now. I have to dress according to what I look like. That means I have to wear dresses every day from now on and keep on wearing them. Including….diapers. Rather I have to wear diapers every day with my dresses. But that's because I… I…. I just can't seem to make it to the bathroom in time anymore and its embarrassing for me. And that only makes me upset when I mess myself. It's very embarrassing to me ok and I'm not a baby either ok!
As for Dave, I think I need to make things clear first for everyone to understand. First of all, I do love him a lot and he hates to see me or any one of us upset. And I know he tries his best to fill our needs. But there is one problem now and it's between Dave and me and what I had become.
And I think I need to make something else clear as well. My earrings, my ear tags, my permeant nose ring and antennas and my bracelets do bother me but they don't bother me. I am fine with having one or two earrings in my ears, but not five in both ears. I definitely don't want my pink ear tags that say I'm a girl and my pink bracelets on me. Nor do I want pink earring at all. But what's bothering me the most is the color that they are and how they look on me. I don't like pink and they make me look like I'm a girly girl with them. So that's what's really bothering me the most. So again…did Brittany really go this far and plan out for me to get tortured like I was?
I've already begged Dave relentlessly about getting my permanent earrings, ear tags, and my permanent bracelets cut off. And I have begged him about not making me wear dresses all the time. Still, no matter how much I beg, he won't do it. So yeah I'm very upset with him for that reason, but I don't hate him for it.
But he has explained to me why he won't do what I have asked. And it's mainly because I haven't come to terms with what happened to me. Even my head shrink has told me the same thing and she agrees with Dave for the moment. I have to come to terms first before I can move on and I have to start accepting that I am a girl now. (Whatever I want to or not.)
Even if I don't want to accept it, I still have to accept that I have became a girl no matter what. I also have to accept that I can't be a boy anymore like I used to. That means I have to wear dresses from now on and keep wearing dresses every day no matter what like other girls or how I feel about right now…it feels embarrassing to wear them.
But Dave did tell me yesterday that he will get my pink ear tags removed next week. And he's sorry for making me wait this long. But that's because he couldn't get me in sooner. Anyways I'm looking forward to next Friday getting here. And with any luck…maybe Dave will get the rest of my pink jewelry cut off of me.
I might even be fine if Dave… We'll… I mean if Dave gave me a choice of having other permanent earrings in my ears and had to wear different colored permanent bracelets that I liked better than what I have on now. Then I probably would take his deal and go for it.
Maybe I should ask him again and mention it if I have to wear permanent jewelry. Then I want a different color that I like better. Even silver and gold would be better on me than stupid old pink. Humm… I wonder if there is such a thing as red-gold. Anyways I'm gonna try and ask him and tell him how I feel about my pink jewelry that I have to wear.
And Dave has said that I can start choosing my dresses…once I have decided what kind I wouldn't mind wearing. And once I have accepted that I'm a girl and will stay as one. But for right now, I have to wear a very filly poufy pink dress. It's some of Brittany's dresses that I have to wear. Or rather I have to share with her. But that's because he doesn't… I mean… I just don't know what kind of dresses I want to wear yet. I know I like red, yellow and a little bit of orange clothing. But still…I just don't know.
And I can tell you one thing for sure…Brittany hasn't even dared to laugh at me at all. Not even once at all and with me wearing so much pink. But she just frowns at me like she's very upset, sad, or even mad for some reason. And I can't tell which is which anymore. All I know she isn't happy with me at all.
Dave even takes me shopping to try and help me decide what kind of dresses I want. He also does it to get me out of the house and out of my bedroom. Still… No matter what I see… I can't see myself wearing what I see. It is hard ok? And it is not easy for me to start accepting I'm a girl and have to get used to wearing dresses like other girls.
But there is a process that my head shrink had explain to me. I have to get used to wearing dresses like other girls first before I can start to wear other clothing that I would like better. And a few other things that I will have to get used to doing because I'm a girl now.
So I really have no choice but to be a girl and keep on dressing like a girl. Including going by my new name that says on my dog tags. Which is Allison Elizabeth McKenna Seville. However and this does make me feel a little bit better. Im called Allie and Alvie in public and called Alvin in private. But I'm called Allie and Alvie most of the time and Alvie can be a girl's name… Did you know it's an old English name from London that Dave named me with when he found us on his doorstep one night when it was snowing very heavily.
But the deal was with Dave that he made with me. He will get my permanent earrings and my permanent bracelet cut off…once I have come to terms with what has happened to me and accept that I am a girl from now on until I graduate from college. The deal also includes going to school as a girl, wearing dresses like a girl, and being active in some school sports as a girl.
And Dave wants to see me go to school instead of just being homeschooled at home like I am now. But the funny thing is…Im almost getting straight A's and that still surprises me. My dyslexics is getting much better now and I need to wear glasses… Well… I use my eye contacts all the time and its just for reading purposes only. I still can see very well with out glasses unlike my brother Simon who needs them for every thing and he is blind as a bat with out his glasses. As for me, I don't like wearing glasses at all, but will wear them at home and towards bedtime when I have to take my eye contacts out. Again…I only need glasses to read. Not to see with.
Anyways Simon and the rest of my family are very happy and proud for me because I am almost getting straight A's. So I guess I'm not as dumb as I thought I was after all and I didn't know I had it in me to get A's. As for Simon and Teddy…they have been helping me with my reading and and which has helped my dyslexics to get better.
Simon… My brothers, adopted sisters and Dave are trying their best not to make me too upset when they talk to me. Even Jeanette talks to me in private and tries to get me to come out of my bedroom more often. Even mom knows what happen and she wants to have a talk with me in private when she gets here. She plans on moving here for good before winter starts. But she… Well… Mom still wants her own space and she plans on living close by with miss Miller across the street. I mean in miss Miller's tree that's in her front yard. So my Family is being careful about shouting around me. And sometimes the shouting makes me upset. And I know they are hurt as much as I am because of what's been done to me.
The other thing thats embarrassing for me that I for got to mention… Is having to go in the girls bathroom. I mean… I just feel better going in the boys room than the girls and I just get extremely embarrassed when ever I enter a girls bathroom. Even though I am a girl now…I just cant get past that feeling thing of extremely embarrassment. To me it just feels so humiliating to have to go in the girls room. And I guess part of me would feel much better if I could go in the boys room and if my brothers made sure no one came in while I do my thing in the boys room.
But I have noticed one thing about my brothers. The thing I have noticed the most, they don't let anyone else mess with me anymore. It's like they have become overprotective of me. And which I must say…it's…its a nice feeling to feel. It may because I'm a girl now or because of what I've been through so far. Still is a nice feeling to feel coming from them. They even leave the bedroom so I can get dress in privet. So that tells me they are trying there best to handle me, but get very confused as the same time.
So I got a lot of hurdles that I will have to go over and through, and a long road ahead of me to start accepting that I'm a girl and will stay as one for now on that has a boy's voice instead of a girl. So yeah I got a lot to deal with for the moment.
I got some memory of what happened to me before I woke up in the hospital, but not a whole lot. But I…I mean… I missed my whole summer vacation. So I truly have no idea what happened during that time.
So I will share what I know from the beginning. Which is just before summer vacation and when school just about ended for the year.
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This is Triple 'W,' saying "Ta-Ta for now and more will come." (ツ) (ツ)
