Author's note : Hello everyone ! I'm very happy to share with you this prologue ! It has been really fun to write, and I can't wait to show you the rest ! It's been a while since I read some good Eremika fanfic so I thought, why not write one myself ! This is my first time writing anything this ambitious so please, feel free to counsel me and share your thoughts ! Also, I plan for this fanfiction to be pretty, pretty long, and I'd like to know what you guys think about this, would you rather have one short-ish story or a longer one ?
Anyway, I'm excited to share this journey with you, and don't hesitate to share your opinions ! I would appreciate that !
PROLOGUE
how did it come to this? Eren wondered.
No matter how many times he kept asking himself this tricky, afflicting question of his, he didn't feel any closer to the answer, and it nearly drove him crazy.
He was crazy, or so thought the world.
Was he really crazy?
He didn't know, maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. He never pondered upon it.
Why was he even thinking about that?
That was unlike him. Maybe he was crazy after all. He didn't care. He was bitter. This was not how he wanted things to unfold, this was nowhere near the future that he had dreamed of, the one that he had worked for.
Freedom.
This is what it always came down to.
Freedom.
But he wasn't free, was he? Everyone's enslaved by something, and it took him only his life to understand it.
He wanted to laugh, he wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, he wanted to die.
Life wasn't fair to him.
Nine he was when his mother was eaten alive. Fifteen he was when he discovered his powers. And with them grew a sense of responsibility, and a tremendous amount of hopes and lives were laid on his shoulders. He was the one and only hope for humanity, yet he was treated with utmost despise by most of the ones he swore to protect and devote his heart to. He was constantly reminded of how many expectations he needed to meet, as if he chose to be this way, but then maybe he did.
He was confused. He wasn't thinking clearly.
At such a young age, anyone could despair, anyone could lose faith, anyone could give up. But he didn't, he complied, and he always favored the greater good before himself.
Had anyone tried to understand him?
He was unsure.
A familiar figure snatched him away from his thoughts.
He knew this woman.
He knows this woman.
Mikasa...
Yes, that was her name, Mikasa.
A smile threatened to form on his emotionless face. He was happy, genuinely happy to see her. It felt like ages since he saw her last. Now that it comes to it, when was the last time he saw her? The last time he truly saw her? He was unsure.
Mikasa, he remembers her now.
It was the name of the woman who devoted herself to him, the name of the woman who remained true to him, no matter the odds. The name of the woman who saved him and his humanity, more than once, without ever asking for anything in return. Not that he ever did return it to her, in any way.
Guilt took him, and so he felt guilty. And he felt guilty feeling guilty only just now.
A candid urge surged within Eren. An urge to make things right. He wanted to take her out somewhere, anywhere, maybe on top of a hill, to drink and talk.
Talk?
When was the last time he talked to her? The last time he truly talked to her? He was unsure.
It is decided then, he will take her out to the top of a hill, and he will drink with her and talk to her. Talk about the good old days, talk about his mother, talk about her parents, talk about them, and maybe even talk with other people.
He had friends, yes, he remembers.
They could join him, couldn't they?
Yes, they could, they should.
Something cold on Eren's neck made him revert his attention back to Mikasa and he noticed that she was closer now.
He liked it, being close to her, he was able to see her all the more clearly. Has he ever told her how beautiful she was? How strong she was?
He didn't, he was sure.
He felt her warm hands on his cheeks, and he shuddered. He was standing now, or so it seemed to him, and his eyes widened when she pressed softly her lips to his. They widened, even more, when he realised that… It felt right, especially when he expected to feel shame and disgust by such an action.
But he didn't.
Instead, he closed his eyes, and savoured it, savoured every last moment of it, realising just how much he had craved it. It lasted some time or another, he wasn't sure. he felt his consciousness slip, and his thoughts and mind escape.
Mikasa, let's go on top of a hill, let us eat and drink and talk, let us enjoy simpler times, have we not earned it?
Have we not?
And then he was gone.
Eren woke up, sweat and tears covering his face.
His heartbeat quickened when he realized that he wasn't breathing, as if his body forgot how to. Panic spread over him as he rolled away from the bed, landing on the cold floor with a big thud. He gripped his throat with his hands, trying to get the damn thing functioning again, confusion blurring his actions until at last, he felt air coming in. Pression around his neck loosened as he sucked in the oxygen, suddenly overwhelmed by the quantity.
Eren tried to steady himself and his breathing, and while he found success in regards to the former, the latter wasn't so easily dealt with. Coughs erupted from his throat, smuggling when they could droplets of blood. Panting, the young man slowly managed to regain control over his respiration, eyes wide and hands clutching the sheets as hard as they could, as if they were the only thing that grounded him, keeping him away from death.
Given the situation, maybe that wasn't far from the truth.
What the hell just happened?
''Oi Eren? What are you doing in there?''
The boy startled, he recognized the voice.
''I'm coming in !'' it warned.
The wooden door opened with an irritating crack, revealing a man who was now frowning at him.
''Are you okay dude? I called you like… Five times.''
Eren just stared at him, dumbfounded. He could swear that he had already seen this person once in his life. Blond short hair, tall figure, sharp eyebrows, charismatic face…
''I know you !'' He exclaimed.
''Well… Yeah?''
''Reiner !'' Eren concluded, baffled.
''I'm not sure-''
''But I don't- What in the -''
''Woah okay calm down.''
Reiner took a few steps towards him.
''Eren what's going on? Are you high again?''
With effortless motion, Reiner got him back up. He could see it in his eyes, he was worried.
''No! Sorry, I just- I don't know, I just woke up…''
''Eren I won't keep it secret this time, you told me that you would stop doin' this sh-''
''I'm not !'' Denied Eren, frustrated.
Reiner raised his hands, dismissive.
''All right, just checkin'...''
He nodded hesitantly, still trying to figure out what was happening. Viewing that Eren was still half here half anywhere but here, Reiner urged him.
''Well take the hint and get dressed already! I'm not gonna miss our first day of training because of you!'' He heard him say as he left.
''And don't think we won't talk when we get back,'' Reiner warned, his tone leaving no place for debate.
Silence invaded the room as soon as the door shut.
What the hell is going on? And what was that dream of his?
Damn… He already forgot most of it…
Eren ruffled his hair, containing a scream, trying to piece together anything that he remembered about it. This never happened before, he never experienced a... Panic attack, or whatever the hell that was.
Was it because he was dreading this day?
Maybe.
Yeah, that must be why.
A knock on the other side of the wall brushed away any additional question that could have found its way into his mind.
''I'm coming! Fucking wait!'' He mumbled, louder.
With a little less on his mind, Eren headed to the small wardrobe and picked up his uniform.
Recall.
