This story is reposted from my own Ao3 page, and might lack some notes or comments from there, as dealing with the doc manager is hard. Sorry about that. Consider seeking it out.
This is a story about finding friends and oneself, and it includes topics of gender and presentation. There will be ups and lows, but my aim is to have a softer, heartwarming experience instead of the bleakness of a struggle for a right to exist.
Speaking about struggles regarding people's right to exist, if you can, please spend as little money as possible on Rowling's work. Enjoy her books via fan-sites, engage with fan content, but skip on movie or game purchases wherever possible. Get creative instead of enriching her. Please don't support her hate. I will not be taking questions on this topic. Thank you.
Secrets of the Soul Spiral
One day, I will show everyone the truth - Uzumaki Haruko
Chapter I
Truth Through the Cracks of the Spiral
Potter
I squinted at the unusually cheerful small man seated on the opposite side of the table. It was as if we had met before, but I could not remember it.
"You're not going to punish me?" I asked once more, carefully, fidgeting on the chair. "Why?"
The man's smile seemed genuine, but I had been tricked before. I focused away from his face, on the excitingly purple top hat that was completely out of place in the otherwise drab gray office. The hat was covering part of the name-plate, which wouldn't help me since I still struggled with pronunciation of the annoyingly inconsistent words.
"You don't believe me?" the man asked in a bubbly tone, seemingly overjoyed with the interrogation. He was weird. "I want to understand what you're trying to do, dear boy."
I suddenly felt even more uncomfortable with this bubbly approach to the interrogation. "I don't-"
The small man waited for me to finish. I didn't.
"Would it be better if we waited until your Aunt comes to pick you up? Would that make you more-"
"No!" I protested quickly. Perhaps a bit too quickly. "Could you...'' I focused on the nameplate, but the blurry letters didn't reveal their secrets. Something was off, but I couldn't just come out and say it. "Not?"
"You can call me Mister Diggle," the man said, unrelenting in his suspicious cheer. There were some letters that matched that name, but what about the part where the top hat was placed? It couldn't have been an accident.
"I introduced myself as you got into my office, remember?" the supposed Mister Diggle continued.
I huffed and shuffled on the uncomfortable chair, inching it away. Faked a short yawn. "I forgot," I lied, keeping my gaze firmly on the criminally-out-of-place purple top hat. "If there's no punishment, can I go? Now?"
The supposed Mister Diggle erupted in a bubbling laughter. "You remind me of an old friend of mine, both in looks and attitude," he said as if that explained anything. "A bit of a natural disaster when he was younger, too."
There it was. I clenched my teeth. "You said you were not going to punish me."
"Just reminiscing..." Mister Diggle bobbed his head slightly. "Do not worry, Harry. I'm sure that our... staff have already taken care of the aftermath of the bookshelf collapse. I'm sure your teachers won't even mention it happening, come tomorrow."
I gripped at my chair, my eyes trying to burn a hole in the top hat, looking as far away from the man's face as I could. I had no proof, not a single shred of evidence, but people in the school seemed suspiciously forgetful recently.
I did not want to forget my achievements. I didn't want to stay and find out what kind of techniques the man could be employing.
I judged the distance to the slightly open window in my mind. In Konoha, I knew I could make it, this was barely a drop from the second floor, literal child's play. Here... I took a deep breath. I had to try.
"I just want to understand," Mister Diggle pushed on, merry and oblivious to my scheme. "Why were you climbing up the book shelf in the classroom?"
"I need to practice my climbing," I replied, allowing a hint of a smile to creep into my face. I fidgeted in my chair, pushing it a tad bit closer to my target, and further from the supposed Mister Diggle. "This school is boring, I need to train to get better."
"Would that be because you dream of becoming a..." The man hesitated. He seemed stumped at the idea of shinobi, and had to lean to check some sort of note he had on the table. When I noticed his eyes leave me alone, that was a signal to begin!
I jumped up, dashing towards the window, trying to make as little sound as possible, but the clatter of the falling chair gave me away.
Mister Diggle's cheer evaporated as he also jolted up. Unlike me, he had been sitting relaxed, and the confused scramble as he tried to move his own chair out of the way won me just enough time.
The very next moment, I was crouched on the windowsill, preparing for the leap outside. I spared a glance at Mister Diggle, and grinned.
"I'll become a number one ninja, you'll see!" I announced loudly, taunting the little man.
"No, wait!" the man shouted and reached to take something out of the folds of his suit.
I didn't wait to see what kind of weapon the man would procure, and took a brave leap forward.
It would have been an awesome maneuver, but for a small miscalculation.
One of my boots slipped on the windowsill, and instead of a glorious leap towards a nearby tree, I spun awkwardly in the air, frantically trying to correct my landing by flailing my hands.
I crashed into the ground hard, my left shoulder receiving the brunt of the blow, even as I attempted a roll. I had done landings similar to this one a handful of times, but this body just didn't want to cooperate.
My head slammed into the ground next, and I closed my eyes from the pain.
This was bad-
Uzumaki
I leaped up with a startled shout of pain and surprise. I needed but a split second to find my footing, and I started to look-
"Uzumaki!" the Irritated voice of my teacher rang in the classroom.
Oh.
I was in my academy classroom, exactly where I must have fallen asleep - entirely by accident, honest. Judging by the state of the board, it couldn't have been more than a few minutes.
"Oops," I gasped out. "My bad."
"Need I remind you," Iruka continued glaring at me. "If you cannot keep up with the class, you're just wasting all of our time? You're never going to pass the exams by sleeping through the lessons."
"But- But, sensei, the Old Man said-" I tried, but Iruka was having none of it.
"Sit down, Naruto," he tapped his fingers on the blackboard. "This is going to be important in the future."
"Sorry, sensei," I mumbled and slumped back into the chair. I heard a few sniggers at my expense, but I paid them no heed.
The lesson was extremely boring after that, and I quickly remembered why I had fallen asleep before. This time, I needed to stay away at all costs, so I could go and see the Hokage before being whisked away back to the chase. A better plan would be useful, too.
At least I had time.
As soon as Iruka started to drone on and on about the chakra pathways, I glanced to the side. I was not surprised to see Shikako reading yet another of her thick books, barely paying attention to Iruka's lecture.
For a brief second I felt a pang of jealousy - Iruka never said anything about Shikako's reading, but had pitched a fit when I tried to page through Kiba's Samurai Genji.
It was exactly the same with her brother's sleeping habits. So unfair.
I pushed the feeling down, and broke into a wide smile. "Psst, Shikako?"
The dark haired girl barely moved, didn't turn to face me, but her eyes did rise up from the page filled with complex kanji. Her lips twitched into a half-hidden smile. "What is it?"
"You're very clever, Shikako-chan," I whispered to her, trying to think of a good way to phrase my request.
She took in a long breath of air and slowly let it out. "Could it wait for lunch?" She whispered softly, with a quick peek towards Iruka. One of her hands slipped under the desk, and there, she flashed the Konoha-standard sign to signal someone was listening in. Iruka.
I stiffened and tried my best to focus on Iruka. He was looking directly at me, even as he continued to drone on something about chakra natures. I groaned, slumping on the table dramatically, crossing my hands so only my eyes would be visible for him.
Sensei grimaced, but carried on the lecture. After a painfully long stare-off, his attention shifted and I let out a relieved sigh.
"Is there a way to trick a jutsu that can make you forget something?" I began again, this time only sparing an occasional glance towards Shikako. My mouth was hidden from Iruka's line of sight and I was confident Shikako could hear me well enough.
"Did something happen?" she asked instantly. Not only was she listening, she seemed to be awfully alert after hearing my question.
"I don't think so," I replied, which didn't relax her. "It's a bit of a hypo-thetical, but if someone caught me already, I wouldn't be able to tell, would I? What would you do if someone with a jutsu like that targeted you? I mean, if you even could tell that it had been used?"
"I haven't heard about such type genjutsu, but..." She arched her fingers together, staring down at her hands. "I'd guess it would depend if the memories are somehow removed or just clouded. If it's the latter, I would try the usual methods of dispelling genjutsu..."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Pain, or intense chakra cycling, to shock your chakra system," Shikako elaborated. "But if this opponent removes memories wholesale, or if it's a very advanced technique, there's no easy solution. Perhaps keeping coded notes to yourself about things you can't afford to forget, or looking for inconsistencies around you, like with other genjutsu."
"Oh man," I grumbled. "That's so not what I was hoping to hear."
"I could lend you a book on genjutsu," Shikako offered. "Or you could ask Ino, maybe she would have some ideas... I would really like to know how you came to such a question, though."
"I- Let's just say I dreamt it." I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly. I wanted to explain more, but the Old Man had insisted on keeping the truth to myself, at least for the time being. "I thought that maybe avoiding eye contact would help."
"That works only for a few simple genjutsu techniques," Shikako muttered. "Most powerful genjutsu techniques can affect the blind. What matters is having the chakra system."
"About that book?" I asked and hesitated. "Is it written in hiragana or at least has pictures with explanations?"
"Sorry. I'll try to find something with easier kanji if you want, but they might not cover the difficult techniques at all."
I groaned. Iruka threw a warning glance in my direction and I pretended to focus on him even more. Inside, I was fuming about having to learn a dozen different ways for reading to get ever more complicated.
Not only did I have to deal with at least twice as many boring subjects than everyone of my classmates, I had to do so with a handful of different writing systems for two completely different languages.
At least hiragana was just matching the sounds, but I drew the line at the impossible mess of written english. "Why is it so hard to write everything in a simple way?"
"You just need more practice," Shikako offered quietly. "It will come."
I groaned loudly, resolving to ask Ino for advice after the official academy classes ended.
"Naruto!" Iruka admonished me instantly. "Pay attention."
"Can't you teach us a cool jutsu instead, Iruka-sensei?" I asked innocently. "I promise to pay more attention then."
Iruka slapped his hand on the face in exasperation. He should just give up and teach us something amazing...
Uzumaki
My attempt to see the Hokage didn't pan out. The old man was busy, according to a stuck up chunin. I would have to try later.
I glued the chunin at the front desk to his chair in retaliation, and he didn't notice until I was already running away, laughing, so it was not a complete waste of a visit.
After my escape, I considered my options. I planned to catch up with Ino during the kunoichi classes, but there was a bit of time before they were scheduled to begin. I could squeeze in a short visit to Nara-baasan. The ramen broth stewing at her place should be about ready to eat, I figured, licking my lips.
My course of action decided, I started on a run towards one of the markets, to grab a few more ingredients.
I knew not exactly on what issue the merchants had with me, but I had recently figured out a perfect ninja solution to the issue.
Dashing between a couple of onlookers, I started to form the seals.
Dog.
I pulled on the flowing warmth inside of me, and focused on the desired outcome.
Boar.
I slid between the legs of a tall, oblivious man.
Ram.
I squeezed between two haggling merchants, a puff of smoke following the successful Transformation Jutsu.
"Watch it, girl!" one of them shouted after me.
I turned back to look at them, still running at full speed, and grimaced in an exaggerated manner, flashing my tongue, very satisfied with the indignant expression I saw.
Then I had to jump over an inconveniently placed stall, landing down in a near flawless roll. It was good enough to make my embarrassment of the earlier crash fade even further away from the memory. Running through Konoha was so fun! It was just about enough
I skid to a halt in front of one of the food carts with fresh produce.
The civilian woman was startled at my sudden appearance, but a smile quickly returned to her face as she recognized me. "In a hurry again, Haruko-chan?" she asked cheerfully. "What will it be today?"
"Yeah!" I replied, quickly browsing through the greenery on display. "Want to run to Nara-baasan before kunoichi classes start. I'll be needing some bamboo shoots, and oh- you've got fresh spring onions! I'll take a bundle!"
"Anything else?"
"Any of today's eggs remaining, Namika-san?" I asked, rummaging my pockets for Gama-chan.
"I've got a few set aside still," she leaned to pick up a small paper package. "Will four be enough?"
"Plenty, thanks!"
I quickly counted out the ryo, and grabbed the bundle of groceries, careful to not smash the eggs. I needed at least two to make it through the journey, but I didn't need to take unnecessary risks.
"Send good health to your grandmother," Namika shouted as I started my run.
Explaining to Namika that Nara-baasan was not my actual grandmother would have been too complicated, so I allowed the misunderstanding to continue, like all the times before.
I spent a few more minutes taking a lesser known shortcut by climbing on a low roof from a pile of boxes stacked near one of the market's shops. My ninja sandals clacked satisfyingly on the roof tiles.
As I made a successful leap over a tiny gap between two houses, I imagined leaping as high as Hokage's tower, like some of the ninja that were constantly using the roof-ways. One day, I would be better than all of them.
Soon enough, I crossed into the surrounding forest, quickly approaching the edge of Nara clan.
I had never memorized where exactly the territories of the Nara clan began, but I knew Nara-baasan lived separate from the main cluster of houses, quite close to the edge of the barely marked Nara clan border. I knew there were supposed to be guards, but they had never bothered me, perhaps too lazy to police a single unauthorized presence.
Or maybe I didn't need authorization since I was friends with the twins? Scratch that, maybe no-one from Konoha needed one.
"Nara-baasan!" I shouted loudly as I saw the old lady rocking in her chair, looking exactly the same as every other visit. I had no idea how old she was, but she must have been ancient, for she was even older than Jiji.
I leapt forward, landing on her deck in a combat-crouch, the paper package with the precious eggs intact and safe. Cha! Take that, bad luck from before!
The old woman let out a quiet cackle at my entrance. "Not so loud, Uzumaki-chan," she admonished calmly. "You're going to scare the deer away."
"Sorry, baasan," I apologized, knowing that I'd forget as soon as I'd get excited again, but she didn't seem to mind that much, and her smile was making me comfortably warm. "I'll check how the ramen is coming along and be back in a minute."
I pushed through the doorway into the kitchen, and the delicious smell of the broth all but punched me in the face. In a good way.
I slid my purchases onto the kitchen counter and checked the cupboards quickly. Someone else must have been there recently for it was stocked up with fresh produce. Had I known, I could have saved a few minutes by not making a detour for Namika's stall, but her spring onions were a delicious addition to home-made ramen, so - no regrets!
I made sure everything was ready and then opened the window, leaning outside.
"Have you eaten yet, baasan?" I asked, waiving to catch her attention. "The broth smells divine - do you smell it from there? I'm going to whip a couple of bowls with fresh eggs from Namika-san, she sends her best wishes for your health. Do you want a big bowl or a small one?"
"Small one will be fine, thank you, Uzumaki-chan" she said, rocking slowly back and forth. "One of my grandchildren came over in the morning, but I asked him not to touch your broth. You're welcome."
"You're the best, Nara-baasan," I said, pumping my fist in the air. "Two bowls of Haruko ramen coming right up!"
I got the two bowls heating up quickly, slightly rushing with ingredients, but the time I had was limited. For myself, I took the biggest bowl in the house. It was yellow, with little toads decorating the edge.
That bowl was one of the first purchases as Haruko-chan, and I treasured it too much to ever bring it home, lest someone who disliked Naruto would make an unneeded connection. I knew the old woman would keep it safe from everyone.
As the ramen heated up, I kept glancing out the window. Nara-baasan was particularly liked by the local deer because of her clan-secret techniques or just on account of her being amazing. Even now, a few deer were curiously watching me, the strange guest in their lands.
Someday, I would learn the full secrets of the deer friendship, too.
I sprinkled in some finely chopped spring onion greens and stirred the bowls a few more times. While I liked a little bit of meat in my ramen, I didn't add any. It felt a bit rude to eat meat so close to the local deer, that's why I had gone with the eggs in the first place.
The ramen smell intermixed with the calm scent of the bright forest day was one of the better things in life. While I enjoyed the feeling of bustle and chaos of Konoha streets immensivelly, sometimes, in the wild calm of Nara forest I felt more at home than-
I sighed. Maybe one day, I would find a place like this in England? Calm and away from the noises and reek of the overgrown city. I sighed, and returned to stirring mindlessly.
"Your order is ready!" I shouted out, trying to mimic Ayame, and chuckled to myself from amusement. Is it strange that while preparing any set of ramen my mind would quickly jump to Ichiraku Ramen? I shook my head. I loved Ichiraku, but I needed to learn to depend on myself more, for when I finally got around to actually running away from my supposed Aunt and Uncle.
A few more things needed to be ready before I moved on with that plan, though.
I placed the smaller bowl in the hands of Sembei-baasan, made sure that she caught the wooden chopsticks and slumped on the deck myself, the full view of the forest clearing before us.
The deer were gathering slowly, still keeping the distance from my loud entrance, but I could wait for a bit.
"How was your day, Uzumaki-chan?" Sembei asked, slowly prodding her ramen with the chopsticks, picking out the first bite.
I grunted noncommittally, inhaling my own with a gusto. Only after a third of the bowl disappeared - delicious - I actually replied. "I think I'm in trouble with my secret mission..."
Nara-baasan waited patiently for me to continue.
"I thought all was going well, but now I'm sure there are people watching me, and they might have a jutsu I don't know how to counter. I can't be sure they haven't used it on me already - it's some sort of memory genjutsu - I think. I thought I had a good escape plan, but I'm not yet good enough... I might have failed big, Nara-baasan."
"Have you gone to Hokage-sama?" Sembei asked, and picked up a small mouthful of noodles with her chopsticks and took a quick taste.
"I will." I pointed with my chopsticks towards the vague direction of the Hokage tower. "The desk-ninja didn't let me through, but I'll try again, after kunoichi classes. How's the taste, baasan, like it?"
"You spoil me, Uzumaki-chan." Sembei chuckled. "I can feel the love."
I felt my cheeks burning and I quickly pretended to be even more entranced by the deer.
"Do you want to tell me more about your secret mission?" She asked slowly. "Are you hoping for advice?"
I shook my head and breathed in another few mouthfuls of my ramen, swallowing them all as quickly as I could, leaving but a bit of broth in my bowl. "Not really. It's a secret, after all," I pointed out. "Unless you have an awesome technique to hide your memories from a genjutsu, then I want to learn it!"
"I can't help you with that, Haruko-chan," Sembei said and I deflated. "You might want to consult with someone from the Yamanaka clan, but they rarely teach such methods to others. Never heard them teaching it to pre-genin."
"Bummer. I'll try Ino-san, then." I looked down at the lone noodle survivor swimming in my broth and fished it out with the chopsticks, putting it in my mouth and immediately swallowing. "If not, I'm sure Jiji will figure something out, I'll just need to stay awake until I get to meet him."
I drank the remaining broth and placed the empty bowl next to myself on the deck. I glanced at the approaching deer, and looked around.
"Nara-baasan, I think we ran out of rice crackers," I announced dramatically. "Tell me there are still some in the storage, or the poor deer are going to have to starve without their snacks."
The old woman crackled with merriment at my antics. "Fetch some from the back then, Uzumaki-chan, we can't let that happen."
I nodded, and jumped up a drop too fast - surprising the nearest deer couple, but they didn't run, so I still counted it as a success. I grabbed my empty bowl and slipped into the kitchen, before doubling back out to enter the house from the back, where the various deer feeds and snacks were hidden.
Not a few minutes later, the very same pair of skittish deer were happily chomping on the offered treats from my hands.
Nara-baasan was scratching between the ears of another, and a few more deers were slowly closing in.
It was very peaceful. So much so in fact, that when one of the older stags approached asking for a snack and touched my hand with his soft nose, I couldn't help but start sniffing.
"Silly girl," Nara-baasan scolded softly. "What is it now?"
"Nothing," I lied. Whenever I was this close to a stag, one of the earliest memories of my childhood would surface. Sometimes it was so real that I could feel it in my heart. The soft fur of my father, the cheerful voice of my mother, a glimpse of her dark-red-maybe-brown hair, and me trying and failing to climb onto the warm back of the wild animal, so out of place in the wooden room. I tried to hold onto the memory, even as the sense of longing tore deep into my heart.
"It's... so calm here, Nara-baasan." I choked down a short sob. "Would you tell me about one of your friends, please? Maybe Heijomaru-sama?"
"It would be my pleasure, child. Is there anything in particular you would like to hear?"
I carefully stroked the stag's neck, all but lost in the impossible memory.
"Are there any stories where Heijomaru pretended to be a human civilian?" I asked absentmindedly. It was a question I had asked before, but I still held out hope for a miracle.
"You keep asking for a story I don't have, Uzumaki-chan."
I leaned closer to the deer, pushed my face into his neck, hiding my tears in his soft fur.
"The summons can learn the Transformation technique, but I never called on Heijomaru for assistance with an infiltration mission," Nara-baasan repeated the painfully familiar answer.
"Maybe there was some other deer who would pretend to be human, on occasion?" I asked into the fur of the animal, feeling its breath, sensing the quick heartbeat pulsing, and knowing the answer was a resounding no.
"Maybe you're looking for it in the wrong way," Nara-baasan said, ignoring the question she had answered a handful of times already. "Maybe you'd like a story about a shinobi who once hid in the herd of deer with a clever use of Transformation jutsu?"
"If he wasn't human, maybe it would be easier..." I muttered quietly. So quietly that I hoped Nara-baasan wouldn't hear. I was entrusting the deepest secret to the random stag in the Nara compound, and no one else. "Sometimes I feel stretched, like I'm playing a human boy for a judging audience, just pretending to be something I'm not. If my father was the same way, if he was a summon, then it all would make sense, wouldn't it? Same as him, I'd be stuck between two worlds, summoned back and forth on a whim..."
"Uzumaki-chan?"
"Yes!" I shouted, and the stag jumped away from me. I tried to evade the antlers, and slid on the wooden deck, landing painfully on my bum. "Ow! I meant yes, I'd like to hear it, please."
"Uzumaki-chan, never change." Nara-baasan crackled with laughter once more. "Seeing as you're already comfortably seated, I can tell you a story about one of my sons, who was performing an important assignment for the Second Hokage..."
Her story was short and sweet, and best of all, one of the smaller deers spent it all glued to my side, licking the rice cracker crumbs off my clothes.
I was grateful that Nara-baasan didn't once mention the tears in my eyes.
She was amazing like that.
Uzumaki
I was a few minutes late to the class, but no one called me out on it. The weather was warm, which meant the class was taking place outside. A handful of wooden tables were placed spaced out in the clearing, and next to each one was a small fire stove.
Each table was surrounded by two to five attendees, most of whom were happily chatting between themselves, and the smell of cooking sea food was palpable. One of the furthest tables was taken by this week's instructor, who was a very hands-off civilian woman. An example glass bowl was pre-prepared as today's goal, and the woman was slowly going through the steps we all needed to take.
The kunoichi class being so practical was always like a breath of fresh air for me. They covered a variety of different subjects, never delving too long on the theory, always leading to some tangible activity or application. Some of these were super interesting - like cooking, and others were less so - like playing various instruments, which I sometimes even skipped.
Whatever the subject, it was as far as possible from the complex calculations of the academy or the boredom hell of St. Gregory's.
This week, I realized after a short examination of the instructor's table, our lesson was a local seafood dish, and I had already learned to make it at baasan's, so it was going to be a delicious walk in the park. Except we would be standing around a small fire instead of actually walking.
I grinned as I bounced up to the trio of kunoichi from my academy class.
The dark haired Shikako wore her hair intricately braided into a rather long tail, a hairstyle I sometimes took inspiration from when forming my Transformation. Her clothes were of casual green and while it fit her, there wasn't enough color in them for my taste.
Ino had hair even fairer than my natural one, and was still experimenting with her hairstyle. Whichever way she wore it, her usual purple clothes were always complimenting it. I couldn't help but admire the casual coolness of Ino's wardrobe. Sometimes, I wished for her sense of fashion.
Lastly, there was Sakura-chan. Sakura-chan was perfect. Her light pink hair was the prettiest and her green eyes were of the best shade of green. In short, I was too afraid to impose on perfection to copy anything from Sakura-chan, even as I liked her the most out of the three.
My own dark orange outfit was still a work-in-progress. I had copied a few details from Ino, like having a high-collared blouse, but my skirt was cut differently, and since it didn't look right when I tried to add protective bindings, I just went without for now.
I touched the few strands of hair which didn't want to stay confined in the short braid. Without much conscious effort on my part, my Transformations tended to favor the colors of my mother from the memory. In the evening lights it looked more brown than red, but that secret connection still gave me strength.
I zeroed in on Ino. There was an important mission objective that had to be fulfilled, before I could delve into the tasty happiness that came from cooking food together with my friends.
Having approached quietly, I pounced suddenly.
Ino yelped in surprise as I pressed myself into her side, tangling my hand with hers. "Ino-senpai," I cooed before she could escape. "Please, teach me your ways."
"N- Haruko-chan!" she stammered. "We thought you weren't coming tonight."
"I wouldn't miss cooking with my friends for the world." I chuckled, and pushed myself even closer. "Nor would I skip a chance to taste a meal by the three most beautiful and talented kunoichi in Konoha."
Ino laughed, Shikako looked slightly uncomfortable, and Sakura-chan sported a very faint blush at my praise.
"Of course, I will contribute my own fair share and more," I continued. "Ino-senpai, I'd gladly cut and slice anything you wish in your stead, for I have an important favor to ask of you."
I was really good at cooking and the girls knew it. Ino was good, but she disliked the feeling of sticky hands and that meant she tended to wash them multiple times even when handling the same ingredient. It was a good offer, but for the fact that I always chose to help her wherever possible anyway.
"What would the favor involve, Haruko-chan?" Yes! Ino was playing along!
Sakura-chan rolled her eyes and Shikako was pretending to not listen, already starting on todays' dish.
"Imagine if you would, a small puzzle scenario, which I need some help with," I continued with the momentum. "A secretive boy with dark hair standing up like an abandoned raven's nest. He escapes a confrontation with an enemy shinobi by taking a courageous leap from an impossibly high tower."
Ino faked a theatrical gasp.
"He successfully slides down the side of the tower, but still lands painfully on the ground, fumbling his recovery roll, blacking out for a moment from unexpected pain. The enemy shinobi prepares a jutsu that would steal his most precious memories..."
I made a calculated pause for even more tension. I had captured both Ino and Sakura-chan with the mental image. Now to deliver a killing blow.
"Trying to steal memories of the girl he loves with all his heart, his fair and beautiful sweetheart from the home village. The boy will recover just in time to see the jutsu hit, but he fears it is impossible to dodge. What should he do? How can he protect his most precious memory?"
I released Ino, and grabbed the cutting knife. I started collecting the best of the ingredients for Ino's portion, pretending that the story was done, but eagerly waiting for a response.
"You can't just leave it there." Ino protested, watching my ingredient choices with approval.
"Is this something that happened to Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked at the same time.
"It's a puzzle, " I repeated, carefully cutting out even strips of salmon. "I don't know how to solve it."
"Is there even a jutsu that could make one forget?" Sakura asked Ino.
"It is possible." Ino leaned into my side, watching my knife work approvingly. "Could you take care of preparing the shrimp, too, Haruko?"
"Leave it to me," I agreed.
"It's a difficult question," Ino muttered. "Memories are linked to our souls, and while we constantly forget our past lives whenever we're born anew, some things remain. Yet... our souls are very resilient to change. If the love of your puzzle-shinobi was soul-deep, no jutsu could remove it, only cloud it."
"Soul-deep?" I asked, carefully. This was not a concept I've ever heard mentioned.
"Such an integral part of yourself, that it couldn't be lost," Ino replied. "That's the part of us that comes from the spiral of reincarnation untouched. It's our deepest beliefs, deepest convictions and sometimes, bits and pieces of clouded memories of our past lives."
Shikako's knife slipped and clattered to the ground. "Sorry," she mumbled meekly and leaned to pick it up.
"So-" Sakura placed her hand close to her heart. "Soul-deep love is safe from malicious jutsu, meaning Sasuke's feelings for his beloved kunoichi are safe?"
"Clouded memories might still be inaccessible." Ino sighed dramatically. "Sasuke would live with a hole in his heart, but he wouldn't know how it should be filled until someone helped him recover these memories. Until he found the kunoichi to complete his soul again, he would retain but an echo of his former soul!"
"This doesn't help me," I muttered, but Ino and Sakura were lost in a different world, one revolving around Sasuke.
Shikako was washing her knife. Her hands were slightly shaking, or maybe that was just my own nervous jittering playing tricks on me.
I clenched my knife harder, and while the next cut of salmon was as even as the one before it, the gash I left on the wooden table was a lot deeper than necessary.
I had hoped for a cool jutsu and I've gotten- nothing. The Old man had mentioned something about reincarnation before, but he hadn't ever talked about souls. I couldn't recall. Then again, I wasn't paying enough attention at the time.
"What a sweet story," Sakura cooed happily, slowly working on her own dish. "I never knew about love that ran so deep."
"Love is not exclusive to this," Ino added. "All of the strongest experiences and emotions of our past lives have a chance to become our essence, carried on for the next life."
"I have never read about the spiral of reincarnation," Shikako asked almost emotionlessly, but it was clear she was curious. "Could you recommend a book about it, Ino?"
"Oh," Ino stilled for a heartbeat before continuing. "I might have told a bit too much."
"Is this a Clan secret?" Shikako asked quietly. "Will you get in trouble?"
"Not really, and I hope not," Ino admitted, already checking if any of the other kunoichi were listening. They weren't, every group seemed busy with their own conversations. "It depends if anyone tattles to the monks in the fire temple, and even then, telling Akimichi or Nara is allowed, and this wasn't actual preaching, so I should be fine."
I exchanged looks with Sakura-chan.
"I won't tell," I said at the same time as Sakura-chan.
"As for reading about it," Ino leaned conspiratorially towards Shikako's ear, and stage-whispered. "I could get you a copy of one of the Three Classics of The Sage of Six Paths, but you'd have to keep it confined to our common clan grounds until we make genin, we'd have to check it with my dad."
"Oh." Shikako arched her fingers together, glanced down, and smiled. "I might take you up on that offer."
"Now this was preaching." Ino giggled, and put a finger to her lips to indicate a secret.
"I don't get it," I complained, working on peeling and seasoning the shrimp for Ino and myself. "Who's the Sage of Six Paths, again?"
Shikako sighed.
Ino opened her mouth and closed it again.
"How can you not know about the Sage?" Sakura-chan asked with her eyes wide. "He's the one that brought chakra to everyone!"
I rubbed the back of my head. "I must have missed him?"
"That's impossible! He's in every history book," Sakura-chan pressed. "Iruka-sensei even mentioned him during the lesson with the leaf-sticking exercises! During his introductory speech about chakra, too. The Sage is quoted in the first page of the ninjutsu basics textbook! He's basically everywhere!"
"But Sakura-chan," I whined. "That first page was in really difficult Kanji, and the cool ninjutsu pictures only start in chapter four. History books are even worse."
"You can't read Kanji yet?" Sakura-chan covered her mouth.
"I can," I mumbled, suddenly uncomfortable with Sakura-chan's scrutiny. "It just takes me forever... I hate sitting in one place, reading, when I could be actually training or cooking, or watching the deer with baasan, or anything else, really."
"But- But-" Sakura-chan deflated. "How do you expect to graduate without learning?"
"With my awesome jutsu, and amazing taijutsu!" I announced cheerfully, and grinned. "Believe it!"
Sakura-chan froze and her mouth fell open. She let out a gasp. "No."
"Sakura-chan?" I asked carefully.
"I thought-" her face flushed red. Sakura-chan frantically looked around, grabbing onto the edge of our table. It creaked dangerously, more than it should have from a child's grip. "How- When-"
"Sakura." Ino touched her friend's shoulder. "Calm down. Don't-"
"He's a pervert!" Sakura-chan hissed at Ino. "That's Naruto!"
"Sakura, listen to me," Ino patted Sakura's back. "She's not here as a prank."
The table cracked at Sakura's grip with a quiet pop, and all of our tableware clattered in place, but she didn't even glance at it. A piece of wood dropped on the ground, and Sakura's hand was once again free. Her eyes narrowed.
I prepared to leap away from Sakura's incoming attack, but it never came.
"You knew?" Sakura-chan hissed at Ino and then looked at Shikako, who looked like she wanted to retreat into her shadow and disappear. "Both of you?"
"In their defense," I said quickly. "I wasn't actively trying to hide anything. I thought you already knew."
"Not helping, Haruko-chan," Ino mumbled, and added louder. "I'm a half-decent sensor, Sakura. I figured it out after a couple of days."
"Same here," Shikako pointed out meekly. "Their chakra is very distinctive up close."
"Oh no. I should have cached on quicker - it's so obvious when..." Sakura-chan covered her eyes, her face even redder than before. "I can't believe Naruto had me fooled for months."
"I'm sorry," I tried. "I didn't want to cause you trouble. I would never prank you on purpose, Sakura-chan."
"How did you even get to attend the kunoichi classes?" Sakura-chan asked, and added something in a barely understandable mumble, her face still hidden. It was possibly about our shopping outing with Ino a few weeks back, but I couldn't be sure.
"My guess is she just snuck in, because they never even bother tracking attendance." Ino shrugged. "The class is optional, so they don't care..."
"But-"
"I asked Jijii about it, after I'd snuck in once," I revealed. "He allowed it. Said that there was no rule about the class exclusivity for girls, but I didn't want to..." I hesitated. "Well, here I am," I finished lamely.
Sakura took a deep breath. She spread her fingers and caught my gaze.
I tried a careful smile.
"So that's just a Transformation jutsu?" Sakura-chan asked from behind her hands.
"Yes." I fidgeted for a bit, before going back to bravado. "I'm that amazing."
She looked at Ino and then at Shikako. "And you're fine with him around?"
"Sure," Ino shrugged. "Especially when she helps me stay clean while cooking. She's a natural."
I felt strangely warm at the praise. I suspected that all three of them had figured it out weeks ago, and didn't expect to have a confrontation about it. Especially not today. Still, this was shaping up heaps better than I feared. I couldn't stop grinning like a fool.
"I believe Haruko-chan is a good friend," Shikako said simply.
I felt as if there was something else she wanted to add or ask, but decided against it. Instead of pushing for more, I just flashed her a thumb's up.
My cheeks were heating up.
Sakura jumped and her arms blurred with sudden motion. I flinched, but it was not a punch. Instead, she stopped pointing directly at one of my cheeks.
"How is he doing this?" She asked the other two. "This looks so real."
I spluttered. "What do you mean, Sakura-chan?"
"You've hidden your whiskers, so you must be imitating the blush by adjusting the technique on the fly. But - this - looks very accurate and real. How long did you need to practice for this degree of control?"
"I'm not doing whatever you just said." I blinked, confused. "I just let things happen naturally."
Sakura narrowed her eyes for a second. "That's not how the technique should work!" She leaned forward and carefully touched the fabric of my outfit. "Is this also a full chakra construct?"
"I'm not sure how to explain," I took half a step away from the table.
"I think they have to be," Shikako interjected. "Or she's soaking her clothes in chakra every day for no reason."
Ino suddenly was in my face, and grabbed my hand in hers, ignoring the slightly sticky fingers I was yet to wash after dealing with the pieces of shrimp. "Haruko-senpai," she sing-songed my name. "Now that the cat is out of the bag, you have to teach me your jutsu."
"What?"
"You're not just copying an existing outfit, are you?" Ino's grin was almost predatory. "How much of a reference do you need? Are you preparing your references beforehand, like drawing them out or can you create just about anything without preparation? Or do you recreate things from memory? Are you constrained by the usual limitations of materials or can you create entirely new ones?"
I spluttered incoherently, overwhelmed by the questions.
"Could you try and teach me?" She pressed on. "Please?"
"I can try," I offered carefully. "Usually there's a lot of trial and error involved, but eventually it clicks and I can just do it."
Shikako chuckled at us. Sakura-chan looked intrigued.
"Think about it, Haruko-chan. Infinite wardrobe jutsu," Ino whispered wishfully. "That's the dream, isn't it?"
There was a loud cough close to our table and all four of us jumped in surprise.
"Girls." Tonight's tutor, the middle-aged civilian woman, was standing unexpectedly close. She must have been making rounds to check up on our progress and we missed her entirely. "Could you at least pretend to be cooking?"
"Sorry, sensei," we chorused, and got back to it.
I spent the rest of the class struggling to answer Ino's questions about the limitations of Haruko's Infinite Wardrobe Jutsu.
Uzumaki
I walked slowly towards the Hokage tower, preparing for yet another confrontation with the chunin at the door. This time I was resolved to not take no for an answer.
I carried a wrapped bento box with leftovers, planning to give it to the old man, or, if the wait was to be extremely long, to eat it myself as a last resort.
I dropped the Transformation jutsu a couple of streets before the building, and not a few moments later I got a first look of disdain. I tried to ignore it, but being able to compare the civilian attitude made the time spent as Naruto bitter.
Suddenly, there was a gust of wind. One moment, I was dragging my feet on the pavement, and another a firm hand was wrapped around my waist, and I couldn't feel the ground. I was caught in a Body Flicker technique, and with the incredible speed of the technique the bento box slipped out of my grip.
"Hey!" I shouted and went for a kunai, but my assailant was already gone. I was inside the Hokage's tower, and Jijii was seated in his chair, the hat placed on the table between us. Right next to his hat there was my bento box, safe and unharmed by the unexpected trip.
"It's a busy time, Naruto-kun, so let's keep this as brief as possible," Sandaime announced, the wrinkles of his face even more pronounced, his soft gaze shrouded in shadows. "Have you been successful in reliably replicating any chakra exercises or jutsu in your dream-world since we last spoke about it?"
I blinked. That was the largest flaw in all of my plans. A mountain that I was yet to climb.
"I have managed to levitate a leaf three dreams back," I said.
"And on repeated attempts?" Sandaime pressed.
"Didn't work," I admitted. "But- I managed to hide a bad haircut with a Transformation jutsu, remember?"
"Any success with repeated uses?"
I looked down to the floor. "Not yet."
"Knowing this," the Hokage continued in a somber tone. "Why are you putting this much effort in seeking an obscure, possibly extremely difficult jutsu to solve a problem in a chakra-starved environment? You haven't been subtle enough with your questions."
"Because I feel like I'm close!" I stood my ground. "There's definitely something there, maybe this time the jutsu will work out."
"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun," the old man said slowly. "Do you have confirmation of the supposed memory-erasing technique?"
"Didn't see it in action," I admitted. How could I convince the old man of the danger? "But I wouldn't be able to tell if they already did something, would I?. What if I already forgot something? What if they take Konoha away from me?"
"That is extremely unlikely," the Hokage said with an unshakable conviction. "Your dreams might feel real, but that's your sleeping mind improvising the gaps in the reincarnated memories. It's more likely that you're not actually reliving your previous life in the dream, you're remembering it. Whatever you dream of happening won't affect you directly, except emotionally. And you will learn to control that with time."
I sighed. It wasn't a new argument and I wasn't totally convinced, even if I wanted it to be true.
"Do you understand now?" Sandaime said. "This isn't a reprimand, nor is it a punishment. You won't solve anything with a forbidden jutsu you're too young to even learn."
I bobbed my head downwards, defeated. "I will go," I mumbled. "I'm sorry for getting in the way."
"Naruto-kun, wait." the old man said and stood up. He walked around the desk. "This remembered life is part of you, and fear in the face of uncertainty is natural."
I said nothing.
The old man crouched before me, and placed his hands on my shoulders. "You're strong and resourceful, and the Will of Fire burns in your heart. You will be alright."
"I'm afraid, Jijii," I muttered. "What if it's the other way around? What if this is the dream?"
"Look at me, Naruto. You are not alone. My most trusted ninja are always watching you, and should you show any signs that your past life has affected the real you directly, I promise to do everything in my power to protect you."
I looked into the old man's eyes and felt his words. I sniffed once, fighting back the sudden onset of tears.
"You are not alone," The Hokage repeated, then released my left shoulder and softly ruffled my hair. "Is there anything that would help you feel safer, that doesn't involve teaching you a forbidden jutsu?"
"Is there a way to check?" I asked, rubbing my eyes to stop them from watering. "If I've already forgotten anything?"
"There is, but it is not safe," the old man said. "We would need a lot of protective measures before I would authorize a mindwalk for past-life memories. It would be very painful and dangerous, both for you and for the one attempting it."
"I can deal with pain," I tried.
"No," the Hokage said firmly. "If this remains a concern when you make genin, I will arrange for it, but not before."
I couldn't help but smile at that. "Then I'll graduate early and we'll do it, you'll see!"
"Do not rush growing up," the Hokage patted my head. "Is there anything else that would help? Or can it wait a few days? I promise to find time for us to go to Ichiraku Ramen in a week or so, if you want to."
"I'm always up for ramen, Jiji," I said, considering what I could request. "Could I tell a few people about my past life? Then, if I forgot... They could remind me?"
The Hokage sighed. "Who do you have in mind?"
"My friends - Ino, Shikako and Sakura-chan. And Nara-baasan. And Shikamaru, so he wouldn't feel left out when I tell Shikako."
"You can tell Nara Sembei," the old man said. "As for your friends, I would prefer it if you waited until you all graduated."
"Please, Jiji." I leaned forward, pushing myself into a makeshift hug. "I would really like to be open with my friends."
"Could you pick just one for now as a compromise?" Sandaime patted my back. "You could tell others after their graduation."
I thought about it. However much I wanted to choose Sakura-chan, I wasn't sure how she would react, so I went for the safest option. "Ino."
"Very well. Tell her that this is an A-rank secret that her father already knows about." The Hokage stood up, escaping my weak grip.
"Thank you!" I shouted out. "You will not regret this!"
"I sure hope so, Naruto." The old man walked back to his chair and sat down, grabbing onto one of the scrolls on his desk and unfurling it before himself. "Take your bento and you'll be escorted outside. I have a lot of reports to go through."
"I brought it for you!" I said cheerfully. "It's from tonight's kunoichi class. Should still be warm!"
"You're maintaining steady attendance?" Sandaime chuckled, only slightly surprised. "Thank you, Naruto, it's a very thoughtful gesture. Sleep well tonight."
The Hokage waved one of his hands in some sort of sign, and I was instantly whisked away in another Body Flicker by a ghost of a shinobi.
Potter
I was not ready.
I had spent an hour rehearsing this moment. I had played out scenarios of my escape, tried to find the best way to spring to action.
I had even tied one of my arms and practiced on my bedroom floor to better understand how the injury would impact my movements.
That planning was useless.
The pain in my shoulder was too sharp, and my heartbeat was echoing painfully in my temples. I had trouble understanding which way was up.
There was an overpowering smell of grass and dirt, tinged with ferrous flavor in my mouth where I had bruised my cheek.
"This is just a memory", I reminded myself and forced my eyes open. Everything was blurry. I was still on the ground, and a shape that must have been Mister Diggle was still visible at the second floor window.
Someone shouted, but I didn't understand nor care.
I pushed myself up, my head spinning. I hated to be weak and sluggish. The Hokage had called this world chakra-starved and it was very on point. I was significantly weaker, for my body wasn't getting enough chakra.
My sight was terrible, my speed and strength were poor and now, injured, I could barely stand. At least nothing seemed broken.
My heartbeat quickened, pain spiking into a full blown headache, but I pushed through and tried to run, but managed only a sluggish swaying forward.
There was a strange loud pop nearby and I saw Mister Diggle, purple top hat and all, running up to me - he was almost at me, now. Did he also jump out? When?
I tried to go for a Body Replacement Technique, but it still gave me trouble in the real world, where now, injured in the dream world I couldn't even focus enough for more than a single hand seal.
I still tried. Looked for a whisper of chakra inside me, holding my hands in the Tiger seal when he grabbed me.
"Stand still, Harry," he ordered, fear and what could have been concern ringing in his voice. He was holding onto me with his left hand, while his right was clutching some sort of stick. "You're hurt, let me help."
I wanted to be away.
Once again I tried to grab onto my chakra and failed.
I needed to get out of this.
The stick glowed in a faint light and I suddenly felt strange. It wasn't chakra, it was something completely different.
It was like a soothing wave had washed over me, the scrapes on my face suddenly burning like from rubbing alcohol. The bruised cheek felt funny inside my mouth.
I grabbed onto that strange sensation, onto something strange that resonated in me, and at the same time I once more tried to slip the man's grip.
There was a sudden sensation of being whisked away in a Body Flicker, except it was completely wrong and alien.
Colours flashed and the world spun, and then I crashed onto the ground once more.
This time, I didn't even bother jumping up. Instead, I slowly turned to lie on my back and looked around.
I was- somewhere else.
There was no sign of Mister Diggle. Nor were there any onlookers. A nearby street had a few cars, and the houses had a familiar design.
I recognised a metal swing and the trees as a small green area good two blocks away from the St. Gregory's, still a short ways from my aunt's place.
I had escaped.
A laugh burst out from me, and even through my shoulder throbbed painfully with each breath, I just kept laughing.
The feeling of the strange force that had saved me was still there, and if I was right, that was my golden ticket to freedom and leaving Surrey forever.
I didn't know how much time I had before the supposed Mister Diggle would find me, but now I had a much better chance of escaping.
I was going to be fine.
Notes:
In some ways, this is three stories hiding in a large crossover coat, three distinct ideas in one that could be split into three distinct stories with their own themes. I could have tried that, but I don't have the mental capacity of writing three large stories at the same time. Instead, I hope to keep up semi-regular updates of with different length chapters roughly once a month by merging them in a way that makes sense for me.
I consider this story an almost equal crossover of Naruto, Dreaming of Sunshine and Harry Potter universes, dividing attention accordingly - one third to the magical world and two thirds for the elemental nations.
