So...here's my first attempt at a multi-chapter in this fandom, after a couple of one shots! So I've only got a vague idea of where I want this to go (story of my writing life), but some points so no one gets confused: Bakugo is an actual good person in this! A true lovable asshole, not...what we get. Izuku has a quirk!...and he hates it. Not because its weak, but because of what it did. The two of them are very close, but this is not a BakuDeku story. Romantically, at least, they definitely love each other platonically. It is starting as a Izuku/Ochako/Himiko one, buuut...things may be added, I don't know yet for sure so I will tag as I go.

I'm going to explore an Izuku who has a good support system, has friends and family who give a shit, but who is so wracked with guilt he's still the anxiety ridden self-sacrificing idiot we all know and love. I hope you enjoy it!


First week back of senior year and already Izuku was done with it all. It's not like he really had anything to complain about, he knew that. He studied hard so school was never a struggle, he had a good place to live with people who loved him, had a great childhood friend. Really, he had everything going for him. Everyone was always so nice to him. Nice to the murder-

Slap! The sound rang out in the classroom as he smacked himself, trying not to let that thought finish. He knew it wasn't exactly the best coping mechanism, heaven knows he'd been handed a hundred better ones already, but it worked, and he was going to stick with what worked. And ignore the voice in the back of his head that reminded him that it didn't work, all it did was delay the thought.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when a hand was thrust in front of his face, a small bottle of burn cream and bandage held in it. With a start, he saw the soft green glow in his right hand, the palm of his glove burned open, the pain on his cheek not fading as he expected and he realized he'd done it again. Once again, that fucking curse had gone off and flooded into his hand before he struck. He clenched his right fist tightly, angrily, but snatched the bandage and cream from the hand in front of him and began to apply it with practiced ease, keeping his gaze affixed to the desk in front of him.

He didn't have to look up to see the looks he was being given…pity, concern, worry, everything he didn't deserve. Killers shouldn't get something so nice. Though it had startled the class for a moment, his teacher cleared his throat and went back into his lecture, as though trying to draw attention away from him and his stupid, foolish, useless antics.

The green surge in his hand faded away, the pain in his chest pulsing again and again, the ever swirling whirlpool of energy still straining against the walls he put up around it. He reached down into his pack and pulled out another glove, one of a half dozen spares he carried, and replaced the now ruined one on his right hand. Taking a deep breath, shoving back against the pressure in his chest, he picked up his pencil and tried to catch back up on his notes.


"Hey!" a pair of hands slammed down on his desk, making Izuku jolt. He stared up into the red eyes of his best friend, the other teen looming over him. "You alright?" came the gruff question.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine Kacchan, don't worry about it."

"Don't fucking lie to me Zu," he growled back.

Izuku rolled his eyes. "It's fine. I just had a bad moment, that's all. I have it under control."

Katsuki stared him down for a moment, before letting out an annoyed huff. "Fine, fine. Me and Tsubasa are gonna hit up the arcade. Want in?"

Izuku glanced over to the doorway, seeing Katsuki's friend standing in the door, waiting patiently with his red wings tucked against his back. He smiled at him, getting a wave back, before turning to look at Katsuki. "No thanks, Kacchan. I'm just gonna head home."

"Seriously? Come on Zu, you need to fucking get out sometimes."

Izuku's smile faltered for a brief moment, almost cracking as he kept eyes locked on Katsuki's. "Not tonight."

Katsuki let out another annoyed huff. "...fine. You'll probably be passed out before I get home you fucking nerd, so don't forget we got training tomorrow."

"You're more of a nerd than I am Kacchan. As for tomorrow, let's be clear, you have training, I'm just there to help," Izuku muttered. Katsuki growled for a moment, staring up at the sky as if asking the heavens for patience.

"You are such a pain in my ass sometimes. We're gonna train, we're gonna be skilled as fuck, and we're gonna get into UA, don't you fucking forget it! I'll see ya later." With that, he turned around and stomped off, hands in his pockets as the other boy glanced back at Izuku for a moment, then followed him out the door. With a sigh, Izuku packed up his bag and left, walking slowly as he avoided following the same path outside as the other two had.


'Dammit Kacchan, stop saying we're going to UA!' Izuku muttered to himself, annoyed and frustrated. He'd made up his mind long ago, he was never, ever, going to become a hero. He couldn't. You don't get to be a hero when you're responsible for what he was. But no matter how many times he had this same argument with Kacchan, it always turned out the same. One or the other would get too angry and stomp off to cool down, and never made any headway.

He knew it just came from a place of caring. He wasn't going to lie to himself, a part buried deep within him still wanted to be a hero, still longed for it. He wouldn't spend so much time on his hero analysis books if he didn't. And the problem was that Kacchan knew too, knew what he wanted so deep within himself. But he couldn't be trusted. He couldn't trust himself.

He wasn't stupid. If he tried to apply and got in, even if he did it without his cursed quirk, they'd force him to use it. Because it was dangerous, and they wouldn't trust that he could keep it contained. Not in such a demanding job, with so much energy around, so much power flowing through the air around him. Costumes got damaged. Skin got exposed. He could still absorb, and no matter how careful he was he knew that. So no, he was not going to be a hero, no matter how desperately he may want to. Because murderers can't be heroes.

He hadn't even really been paying attention to where he was going. He knew the way home by heart…well, 'home' in some ways. But since he wanted to avoid Katsuki and the others, he chose to take a shortcut, cutting through an old tunnel and heading back towards his house. So focused on walking, his head down, trying to ignore the pressure in his chest and the reminder of what date was coming up, he never noticed the strange swishing noise coming from behind.

What followed was made of nightmares. Sludge, filling his lungs, a voice in his ear cackling and bragging and thanking him as it tried to snuff out his breath, his life. He couldn't focus, couldn't hear, could barely see as the blackness started to close in around him. The pressure in chest roared, the whirlpool of energy becoming a fevered maelstrom, desperately trying to reach out and help him escape.

But…he couldn't. He couldn't let it escape, couldn't trust his monster of a quirk. Maybe he should just let go. What did it matter? He was a killer anyways, he should have been executed fourteen years ago after he killed so many and maimed his best friend. Maybe this was his punishment, karmic retribution fourteen years later. Tamping down on it with practiced ease, even as the sludge filled his lungs further, his vision fading, he just…let go.

As his mind fell into blackness, a manhole cover flung up into the air.


Izuku didn't even know how to describe what the hell his life had become in the past few minutes. First, he gets saved by All Might, the hero he and Kacchan idolized. Then he gets his autograph! Then, because he's an absolute idiot, he hitches a ride on the other man onto a rooftop to beg of him the answer to the one question that he pretended he didn't want the answer to, only to find out All Might was…broken? Izuku wasn't even sure if his mind could comprehend everything that happened if he had a week to process, much less five minutes.

But that wasn't enough. He had to know. He had to ask. Maybe, just maybe, if All Might told him what he knew was the truth, then Kacchan would back off finally and let it go. Izuku knew what he'd say, he just needed him to say it out loud so it could finally snuff out that tiny spark of hope he never could get rid of.

"So kid, what's the question you wanted me to answer so badly you almost got yourself killed over?" The shrunken All Might before him asked, eyebrow arched.

"...c-can…can a killer…become a hero?"

All Might blinked. Once. Twice. A third time. "...I feel like I'm missing context here, kid. Sounds to me like this isn't a hypothetical…you know a killer?"

Izuku squirmed in place with his head down, his hands clenching repeatedly. He kept still, his form shaking slightly as the hero before him watched him appraisingly. All Might sighed. "And you're not gonna answer me. Well, fine. You're a fanboy, you should already know my answer. I've said it a million times, anyone can be a hero."

"B-b-but not just anyone!" Izuku interrupted, snapping his head up to look at his idol. "That's what you say on TV, but no cameras here! I want your honest answer! I know you have to play things up for the media, it's part of the job, but it's just me. I just…I need…I just need you to tell me the truth, okay? Please, just…just tell me the truth…" As his voice trailed off, tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, but he struggled, willing them not to fall as he closed them and waited for the doom he knew was coming to fall.

"Never been called a liar by a fan before, that's a new one," came the chuckled reply from All Might. Izuku opened his mouth to apologize, but a raised hand from the older man cut him off before he could. "I'm not mad. You're not entirely wrong, the media does require heroes sometimes…stretch the truth. But that one? That's not a lie, kid. I do believe anyone who truly, genuinely, deeply wants to help people can be a hero. And!-" he raised his voice, cutting off Izuku's interjection. "-And, I think that if someone did something bad in the past, that doesn't mean they can't do good in the future. That said…I'd like to hear more about this 'killer' you seem to know?"

Izuku was going to reply, say something to get the focus off of that, but an explosion a few streets over caught both of their attention. 'Kacchan?' Izuku wondered.


"...stubborn, annoying, fucking…" Katsuki kept muttering under his breath, the other boy with him staring worriedly.

"You alright, Bakugo?" Tsubasa asked.

"No I'm not fucking alright! Argh!" he kicked his left foot out, hitting a nearby trash can with a solid ting, sending it flying. "He's being so goddamned stubborn and I can't get him to stop being stupid about this shit! It's senior year! He's got the brains, he's nearly as fit as me, he's just got to train his fucking quirk and he's a shoe-in! I know he can fight, we've been sparring each other for a decade. He has what he needs, he just won't do it!"

"I mean…you've considered maybe he doesn't want to be a hero?" Tsubasa asked.

"That's the fucking thing, he does! He won't admit it but I know he does! He's just fucking scared of his quirk!"

"He has good reason to be. You know, after what happened…"

Katsuki rounded on the other boy, glaring at him. "It wasn't his fucking fault!"

Tsubasa held up his hands placatingly. "I'm not saying it was! You of all people know we never blamed him! No one does!"

"...one person does," Katsuki muttered, the anger draining from him as quickly as it had filled. This was an argument he'd had a thousand times over the years, and he worried he'd keep having it right up until it was too late. Still frustrated and with nowhere to put that aggression, he kicked at a bottle with his left once more, wishing he could feel something in that leg, just so he knew how hard he'd kicked.

With a metallic clink, the bottle flew into the wall, the cap popping open and green sludge began to pour out. Katsuki barely had time to react before it lunged forward, wrapping around him and beginning to drown the young man.


All Might called out to him, but Izuku was already gone, running through the door and down the flights of stairs as fast as possible. Kacchan always had excellent quirk control, so an explosion of that magnitude was worrying. But it was worse than he'd imagined. Panting, he surveyed the scene of his best friend trapped in the same villain All Might had saved him from, the heroes standing around doing nothing!

Kacchan was there, right in front of him, buried in the sludge, what little explosions he could create slowly flickering into place. He could see it on Kacchan's face…fear. Something that didn't belong on that face, the friend who'd helped keep him from falling into despair, the equivalent of his brother, the one whose family took him in when his own was…gone. He could feel it boiling, roiling within him once more, the maelstrom of swirling force demanding he let it go for once.

He didn't remember moving. He didn't remember shedding his backpack and throwing it. He didn't remember the moment where he pulled at the sludge, shouting back and forth with Kacchan, his friend demanding he run and him refusing. None of that he could remember afterwards, it all fuzzy and muffled in his mind. Because at the moment where the villain gripped Kacchan tighter, where it began to flood his mouth with sludge…Izuku let the wall fall.

A green glow showed up beneath his shirt, right in the center of his chest. Snaking trails of green shot out, trailing down his arms and legs, long-closed channels forced open within him, burning from the inside. The pain of disuse ignored in the moment as Izuku felt the energy flood him, granting him strength, granting him power, letting his hands finally grip onto the slimy bastard before him as green energy coated his hands, flowing over them like water.

Screaming wildly, torn between pain and panic, his hand finally grasped Kacchan's arm. With every ounce of strength within him, he pulled as hard as he could, energy flooding out wildly, green rivers of it flowing through his hand and into Kacchan through the grip he had on his shoulder. A swirling torrent of green built up around him, making those nearby have to shield their eyes from the light.

He felt more than saw the moment Kacchan thrust his hands up and slammed out the biggest explosion he had ever seen. Saw the sludge villain raining down in pieces, as the street they were on cracked and buckled beneath the force of the blast. Felt the tiredness begin to take hold of him as they both took in deep, gasping breaths. And felt nothing but fear as he saw the villain begin to reform, not even enough energy left within him to scream, much less move his feet.

But there he was…All Might, there once more, shouting something as he pulled both boys out of harm's way and clenched his fist. Izuku smiled, eyes closing, knowing that with All Might there, Kaccan was safe.

Kacchan screamed something in his ear, something he couldn't hear over the buzzing as he felt his consciousness fading, his breath leaving him for the second time this day as the energy trailed off, trickling into nothing, the well running dry, and with it…his heartbeat.


Yagi had seen many things, but that scared young man with the secretive words running in to save another, when the other heroes had been too afraid to do their duty, gave him hope and joy in equal measure. Here he was, the exact sort of person he needed, the one who drove even him to go beyond his own limit to help. But when the boy fell from consciousness, as he blew that damned sludge villain away, the way the other boy hovered over him in fear triggered the same response within.

"Zu! Zu! Fucking wake up dammit! Don't tell me you burned it all you fucking idiot! Wake the fuck up!" the blonde boy shouted, his hands gripping the other one's collar tightly. When the other boy failed to respond, failed to even breathe, the blonde one tore at the collar, ripping at it and pulling it away, desperately even.

"Young man, you must let the paramedic's-" Yagi tried to interject, but was interrupted before he could finish.

"No! They don't know what to do! We need to get him into the sunlight or something! Or get one of those crash pad things, the defibrillators! He needs to absorb something, quickly!"

Yagi had been a hero for many decades, and while Quirk's tended to be at least somewhat unique, it wasn't unusual to see many similar quirks over the years. While energy absorbing quirks weren't commonplace, he'd seen enough of them to understand what the blonde boy was getting at with his hurried explanation. Likely his body required he keep some of that energy stored up somehow, which would explain why he was fading out. He'd used too much. Well, the two boys clearly knew each other, and the blonde one was panicking with clear worry, no reason to doubt the blonde before him.

He reached down, grabbing the one who had impressed him so and bolting over towards the nearest EMS vehicle. The blonde followed angrily, snarling at the reporters trying to get between them and the heroes trying to speak to him.

"I gather he absorbs energy through his skin, young man?" Yagi asked as he laid the other boy on the stretcher the EMT's had pulled over.

"Yeah! And he needs that shit to live, else his heart stops! Get the fucking shirt off him!"

With practiced ease, the one paramedic quickly pulled out the fabric scissors they used and cut the shirt apart, pulling it open as she spoke calmly to the blonde. "Any particular kind of energy required?"

The blonde rubbed at his eyes, his hands sparking furiously. "No, anything, doesn't matter. But sunlight isn't enough right now, don't you have one of those defibrillator things!? The ones that shock people?"

"We're getting it ready right now young man, it'll be okay. We need to check you over too, would you please take a seat?"

"I'm fucking fine, worry about him!" he shouted at her, smoke floating up from his now clenched fists.

Yagi wanted to stay and speak to the boys further, but the media began swarming and he knew they needed space. So he stepped forward, pulling them away from the two boys, hoping he could distract them and get all those eyes off of them. They were in good hands now, he'd just have to catch up to the green-haired one later.


Later, however, was going to be an issue. By the time he could escape the reporters and get to a place he could let go of his form, the ambulance was long gone, off to wherever it was headed. Neither of the two boys was available, and per the law minors names wouldn't be released to the public. His best chance was gone already. With a sigh, he pulled out his phone.

"Yagi? To what do I owe the pleasure?" came the voice of his former sidekick, Sir Nighteye.

"I found him, Mirai! I found him!" he exclaimed excitedly.

"The love of your life?"

"No! My successor! The one I wish to pass One for All onto!"

"...oh. Well, congratulations?" Mirai asked, clear confusion in his voice. "...was this just to inform me, or…?"

"Well, the problem is I lost him."

"...you lost him."

"Yes."

"You found him and then lost him."

"...yes."

"...what did you do, take him hiking and got turned around?"

"No, no, ugh, just, hear me out!" Yagi huffed. Taking a deep breath, he launched into the day's occurrences, up to just before he called Mirai. As he stopped to catch his own breath, he could almost hear the judgment in the other man's tone.

"Well. I can't say I have a firm opinion on your choice yet, but your methodology leaves much to be desired. That said, I assume you want me to help you track down this young man?"

"Exactly! You know that's not my speciality, but I've always known how excellent you are at following leads!"

The other man sighed deeply, his sheer 'I am so done' expression visible to Yagi even from kilometers away. "Very well, give me what details you know."

"Well, he's in high school, and has green-black hair and green eyes. And freckles."

"...please tell me you have more than that."

"Um…oh, the blonde one called him Zu! And he called the blonde one Kacchan! The blonde one seemed to have some type of explosive quirk, and I believe the one I'm looking for has an energy absorption quirk of some kind that works through skin exposure. Err…they had on black uniforms as well."

"Well, that's significantly easier to track down. Where are you again?"

"Musutafu." Yagi could hear Mirai typing away on his computer, humming to himself as he input the data and began searching. "Oh, one other thing that was a bit odd. He implied he knew a killer of some kind, or at least, someone who has killed. It was a bit concerning. He asked me if I thought a killer could become a hero…but it was like he expected me to say no. Of course, I told him anyone could if they were dedicated to doing right, but-"

"Yagi," the tone of voice Mirai used cut through his rambling for a moment, a tone that he had only heard in the most serious of situations. "I think I know why he asked you that."

"Why?" In lieu of response, the ding of a text message had him glancing down at his phone. With trepidation, he clicked it, opening up a news article from fourteen years ago. As he scanned over it, his eyes widened, widened further, over and over as he swiftly devoured every word. "...Oh."