okay, here we go with another AU of season 4… its quite clear i had some qualms there ;)


Summary: AU Version of Crusade (4x08) Tan getting shot sets in motion a series of events leading Street to take stock of his life and figure out what he really wants.

Chapter 1 The right thing to do

20 David is sitting in a hospital waiting room. Deac has met them there, Erika is sitting next to Chris both of them in shock and holding onto each other, Hondo is pacing talking to Luca on the phone and Street is just staring ahead. Ignoring the vibration from his phone. They've been sitting here for almost an hour already after they had spoken to the incident investigators.

He can't help but scoff at that term. Incident.

His friend, their teammate was fighting for his life in there after having caught a bullet or two. They didn't even know for sure at this point in time.

His mind wanders back and the whole thing unravels again before his eyes.

"I am hit," Tan's voice is urgent, and Hondo immediately orders Chris and Erika to bring him out when the hail of bullets from above slows for a second. Immediately the two women help Tan hobble out of the room and Hondo seems to finally get the shot. Blood is seeping through the ceiling.

Next, he again hears Chris panicked call for a medic and…

He gets pulled out of the bad memories by the door swooshing open and feet entering. Street hears the scraping of chairs on the floor and pushes up too, but its not the doctors. It's Hicks and Bonnie entering. Within seconds Bonnie has chosen to hug him because he is nearest to the door. Almost helplessly he rubs circles on her back while tears soak through his shirt.

Hicks tells the team that the operation has concluded, and that Tan will be in intensive care for a while. Bonnie's sobbing get's a little louder when the commander mentions there is no concrete timeline on when he will wake up again.

His eyes wander around the room. Everyone has gone quiet only Bonnie's sobs are filling the air when Deacon walks over and gently untangles Bonnie from him.

"I talked to Annie. You're staying with us for now," the older man guides her to the door and out.

Jim falls back into the chair behind him. His phone again is vibrating against his leg and for the first time tonight he actually pulls it out. The name on the display makes his heart constrict and skip a beat. His eyes shoot up to look around.

Erika and Chris seem to have left while he was staring off into space. Outside the door he can see Hondo and Hicks talk to a doctor.

Again, the phone starts vibrating. Reminding him that he should really answer her calls now and so his thumb presses the green button and whit a jittery hand he lifts the device to his ear.

"Hey," his voice is weak and raw.

"Oh thank god," he can hear the relief clearly in Molly's voice. "How are you? Do you want some company?"

Jim closes his eyes firmly. Bracing against the warm feeling spreading inside of him. Hearing her care and worry for him, but he knows what he has to do and so he grabs his phone a little firmer and replies.

"No," he takes a breath and can almost picture Molly's crestfallen expression. "I understand," she breathes out.

"No, you don't. Molly listen I can't do this anymore," Street manages to get out.

"Do what? Talk to me?" Molly sounds confused and Street soldiers on.

"I mean us. It's better this way. I…" his voice breaks and he can hear a sob coming down the line. That sound immediately makes Street look down on his shirt. Bonnie's tears still haven't dried, and he knows he is doing the right thing.

"Oh, okay. Did I do something wrong? I am sorry for calling so much today. I was, I am worried about you," the confusion in her voice is laced with hurt and Street forces himself to take a deep breath.

"You didn't. I just, I need to be alone. It's better this way," he cringes at his weak explanation and simply ends the call. Street shoves his phone into his pocket after putting it on silent and just walks out to his bike.

He pulls his helmet on and heads out of the city. The sound of the airflow and the roaring of the bike distract him from the turmoil within.