So this takes place season 22 of SVU and season 1 of Organized Crime. It is my first time writing a fanfic so I'm a little nervous about how it will be received. At the same time I can't wait till May 13th, so the time inspired me to finally try this out. Reviews are welcome, and this is totally EO so if you're not into that, maybe just pass by this one ;) So there may be more chapters if people want more, and the rating is for possible later chapters. It starts after some time has passed and it's the night before Fin's wedding. And oh yea…

All the characters of Law and Order SVU and Organized Crime belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal.

I Meant It

She was laying there, unable to sleep. Most nights were like that now. Ever since she heard his voice say her name for the first time in a decade.

"Liv!"

It was still ringing in her ears like it was yesterday. She almost forgot what it sounded like. She's heard him calling her name in many ways over the past ten years but only in memories or dreams, sometimes in panic but also in desperation and need. Olivia had been woken by his voice more times than she'd care to admit, but actually hearing it again... the low timber, the intimacy in which he always seemed to lace it with. He had said her name over a few dozen times in the past months, but that night on the street...

Chills ran through her as she heard it again in her mind. She took a deep breath in and blew it out, willing it to take her thoughts with it. Then her phone rang. Olivia looked at the name and saw it was him. He had already called her twice tonight. She declined to answer the past two calls and he didn't leave any messages. This time something in her made her answer the phone.

"Elliot… do you know what time it is?" She said softly.

"Hey Liv.. sorry… I just.." He paused, and exhaled the breath he was holding.

She laid there listening to him try to control his own breathing. He hadn't expected her to answer.

"Elliot?"

"I just couldn't sleep." He said knowing she would understand.

She let out a low chuckle. If only he knew how much she was struggling in that department lately she thought.

Hearing her laugh tugged a smile from his mouth and his mind immediately took him back to all the late night phone calls. All the text messages to talk about cases that hit them both so hard they each knew the other would be awake. They use to take solace in just listening to each other breathe on the phone, knowing the same thoughts were keeping them from sleep. A connection so deep and complicated that no one else could understand. A connection that could never be broken no matter how much time has passed.

He knew they were on uncharted territory though. There was still a lot of untested water between them and he was trying his hardest to wade through it. Right now though the temperature was still slightly tepid, but he was sure they could soon be in warmer water...

He listened to her breathe for a few seconds letting it steel his nerves before he spoke.

"I know this is last minute, and I've been meaning to ask you but uh, there's just been so much going on..." he trailed off hoping his sudden confidence wouldn't falter.

"Would you like to go to the wedding with me?" And he paused waiting for her reaction.

Her breath hitched and suddenly she needed to sit up. She brought the palm of her hand to her forehead. When did it get so warm in here?

Sensing what he thought might be hesitation he started to say "I know we were both invited so if you are bringing someone don't worry..."

She cut him off "I would like that..."

Wow, she thought. Apparently this was happening.

Just then she heard him suck in a big breath and blow it out. Relief.

"Ok well I'll pick you up tomorrow at one." He said. She noted how at ease he sounded now. There was no strain in his voice, no hesitation. She could almost hear the smile curling at the corners of his mouth.

"Ok... night Elliot." She said in almost a whisper.

"Good night Liv..." he said pausing for just a second before he hung up.

All of a sudden her pulse started to race and she felt a tightness forming in her stomach. Was she ready for this? Is this a date? Wait... did he think it was a date? They haven't even talked about what was in the letter he had written her. There was still so much they had yet to discuss. So many things. Too many. She was spiraling. She sighed and laid back down. Now how was she suppose to sleep.

Miles away Elliot was laying on his couch feeling a sense of relief. He finally started taking a step in what he knew was the right direction.

A pang of guilt hit him a little though. Guilt for waiting so long to ask her. He hoped she knew that wasn't his intention to make her feel like an after thought. Guilt for allowing himself to feel this way again. Guilt for Kathy. Kathy….

He dragged his hand down his face and thought, no. No I'm not doing this. It has been months and even though he still loves Kathy, will always love Kathy, it was ok to feel again. His therapist had told him grief hits everyone differently. It would take time. But if he was honest with himself and allowed himself to feel, the grief would eventually not become all consuming. Learning to cope, remembering his children needed him, and remembering its ok to keep living. That's what he needed to remember. He opened his phone and started a text.

Back in Olivia's apartment her phone buzzed. She picked it up thinking now what, but as soon as she read the message her heart almost stopped.

I meant it. I know it wasn't the best time or place to say it, but… I meant it.

She felt her blood spark in her veins and color rise into her cheeks. She knew what he was talking about. The day her whole world changed. The day Elliot Stabler told her out loud… I love you.