Title - Her Most Solemn Hour

Setting - The whole story takes place right after A Queen Without A Crown, but the prologue is ahead by a year.

Summary - An abuser behind bars doesn't necessarily mean she's free. Regina must face the internal demons that threaten her happiness. With the help of her family, she learns to love, to feel, to cry, to live again. But what happens when it becomes too much and she starts to lose herself in the process? A hard decision must be made in order to help her find the light again.

General trigger warnings to be aware of throughout the story - This story deals with the aftermath of abuse. Be aware for Ptsd, depression, talk and flashbacks about rape and domestic violence, dark thoughts and tendencies. Also, I don't want to give anything away too soon, so I will be listing new trigger warnings as we go.


Prologue - One Year Later

"Do you want to start with what brought you here?" Dr. Malory Blaze asked, or Mal rather. She preferred to be on a first name basis with her patients. She felt more comfortable and less formal. The blonde psychologist observed the dark haired woman curled up on the couch before her. Her dark eyes were hard as she stared into the crackling fireplace. The room was dim with the flames and a small lamp lit in the corner of the room. It was the late evening and the sun had gone down. She had just arrived an hour before and once she had settled, Mal had her come into her office for her first therapy session. She was clearly less than enthusiastic about being at the cabin.

Regina didn't answer, her eyes still fixed on the dancing flames. After the emotional goodbye she just had with Sheriff Swan, Mal could see that was all she was thinking about. After going through her file, she knew what had brought the college professor here. She knew she was in an abusive marriage with the former mayor of Storybrooke. She knew about the ptsd. She also knew about the event that had brought her here. Although she knew it was Regina's choice to come here to her isolated rehabilitation cabin in the woods, it didn't mean she wanted to be here.

"You don't have to say anything at all," Mal said gently. "Everyone that comes here has their own way of processing what happened to them. They have their own way of grieving. Some talk, some are silent. Some cry or they laugh until they cry. Whatever works is completely up to you."

Regina was unreadable. She still wouldn't look at her. She was emotionally shut down and Mal knew with a heavy heart that she wasn't getting through to her tonight. Of course she wasn't. The patients that came here needed help beyond what normal weekly sessions of therapy can give them. There was a chance she might not even get through to her for months.

"Either way, we have to sit here for the hour. Those are the rules as you know."

Regina finally turned her dark eyes away from the flames and shot her a glare. A look like that would have sent any Storybrooke resident quivering to their knees. Thanks to her collaboration with Archie on this case, Mal was very aware who Professor Mills was and the fear she had established in the town of Storybrooke as the mayor's hot-tempered wife. It didn't faze her at all. She suspected it was an isolation tactic she used to keep people from getting too close to her and finding out about the abuse. Like all patients before her that had gone through her extensive recovery program, she knew the hostility, the anger was all a facade to protect herself.

"I have nothing to say," she finally spoke in a raspy tone that indicated how mentally exhausted she really was. She was exhausted. Mal could see it in the way she furrowed her brow and the way her eyes seemed to be unfocused. They only had 40 more minutes left of their mandatory session and she intended to see it through.

"Start at the beginning," Mal encouraged.

"I've done the therapy crap!" she suddenly snapped, her lip curling and her eyes blazing. If she really was the Evil Queen from Henry's storybook as she had learned from Archie's history, Mal had no doubt she would have gotten a fireball to the face.

"I know you don't want to be here, Regina. I know you'd rather be home with your family, but you made the decision to come here for a reason. You want to get better. Emma wants you to get better." The moment Emma's name tumbled from her lips, Regina became defensive.

"Don't you dare bring her into this!" she snapped and Mal raised her hands in mock surrender.

"Ok, fine," she tried diffusing the situation. "But Regina, the whole point about being here is to help you get better. In order for me to do that, you need to let me in. You need to let me earn your trust."

"So I'm a prisoner now until I give you my whole sob story?"

"You know that's not what I meant," Mal said sternly. "You know what you have to do."

Regina became silent again, her gaze fell to her hands which were suddenly trembling. Mal tilted her head slightly in curiosity and discretely took note of that on her laptop, remembering seeing a notation of the nervous tick in Archie's notes.

"I don't know where to start," she suddenly admitted in a shaky voice and Mal could see a bit of the defiance crumbling enough to see her uncertainty. "I don't know where my story begins."

"How about you start with your relationship with Mary Margaret?" she asked, studying Regina for a reaction. The relationship between the two women was non-existent. According to Archie, it had gone from bad to worse in the past year since the trial with Leopold.

At the mention of her stepdaughter, Regina closed her eyes for a moment, and Mal could see her breaths speeding up just a bit, her nostrils flaring, and how her hands still trembled. Mal didn't rush her, knowing how important it was that she go at her own pace. And then after a few silent moments, Regina seemed to reigned in her anger for the younger woman she absolutely loathed and opened her eyes. She swallowed heavily and her eyes seemed to find comfort in the flames as she finally spoke.

"I can't discuss this."

"That's ok," Mal assured her. "We can talk about it when you're able to. Like I said, everyone has their own way of talking about what happened. I'm not going to push you. You're allowed to set your own pace. I'm just here to listen. That's the point of these hour-long sessions."

"I don't want to say anything right now," her voice was void and Mal could see the tiny piece of vulnerability she had shown was now gone. She had once again emotionally shut down completely.

And so they sat in silence.


"Mary Margaret, I didn't send her to the looney bin. It's an isolated rehabilitation program meant to help her. She's getting one on one therapy up in the woods in a cabin with one of the best psychologists in Maine. Archie recommended her and has been working with her since Regina started getting worse," Emma explained to her former roommate as she moved around the kitchen with her cell between her ear and shoulder. She had just gotten back from driving Regina and was exhausted from the 3 hour trip outside of Storybrooke. She took out the take out menu from one of the drawers. She was too exhausted to cook. "It was her choice to go. I didn't abandon her."

"I don't like this Emma. I don't want her to think we just gave up on her." Mary Margaret was clearly upset. She was amazed at how protective the petite school teacher was for her former stepmother no matter how nasty Regina increasingly got with her lately.

"We're not," she sighed, exhaustion evident in her voice. She rubbed her hand over her face, willing herself to keep it together. She cried enough today. "She needs help…"

Those last words came out as a sob. She was suddenly glad that Henry was staying the night with Ruby. She wasn't sure what kind of emotional state she'd be in once she dropped off Regina. She didn't want to worry the poor kid more than he already was. After all, he was the one that found Regina when she... She shook her head at that thought, not wanting to think about that particular memory. Instead, she thought of the tears streaming down her girlfriend's cheeks and the terrified desperation in those dark eyes as she begged her to take her back home. Regina had started to back out the moment they reached the cabin, but Emma had to be strong and reminded her why she wanted to do this. She sank to the floor, her back against the counter as she let herself sob.

"I just wasn't enough to help her," she cried into the phone with Mary Margaret's worried voice softly calling her name.