A/N - This is completely AU.
Just a few notes to understand the premise. Olivia is a young single mother of Noah Porter Benson. She got pregnant in college and decided to keep the baby delaying her rise in the ranks a bit. She is currently a cop but hoping to move up and become a Detective, specifically an SVU Detective because of the circumstances of her birth.
Elliot com s from a family of police officers but chose a different path for himself much to his Father's chagrin. He is a firefighter and loves what he does but always in the back of his mind wonders if he made the right choice by following his own dreams and not his Father's. He's always dreamed of having a family of his own but has been unlucky and fallen for all the wrong girls who don't want what he wants.
What happens when Olivia and Elliot meet at a Fundraiser for the NYPD/FDNY competition one July day? The 'rivalry' between the departments is alive and well but will the undeniable spark between them lead to crossing some boundaries? Will Olivia be ready to let a man in not only around her heart but around her son who has never had a Father figure to look up to? Will demons from both of their pasts keep them apart or will they be able to figure it out together and grow as they go? Read and find out!
Set to the song "Grow as we Go" by Ben Platt. Give it a listen! Adds to the story! :)
Olivia stood in the kitchen of her apartment getting breakfast ready for her six year old son Noah. It was summer but he was going on his first ever overnight trip with a friend and his family. In fact he would be gone for two nights. The longest she'd been away from him consecutively. She wouldn't admit it to her son but she was anxious as all hell. She'd never spent a night away from him unless she was at work. And then, he was with his nanny Lucy or her best friend Alex. The only two people she really trusted with the most important person in her life.
Noah Porter Benson.
The biggest and in her opinion best surprise of her life. She'd been a first semester Senior when she got pregnant in a very unexpected way. From a man she trusted, who was older, who was a superior and he had promised to be beside her. To support her and their child. And then after all those promises, he'd disappeared out of her life, out of their son's life just hours after he was born and she'd never heard from him again.
As angry as she had been, as hurt as she had been, as terrified as she had been, she would never regret her son. She'd been on her own for most of her life. She'd been searching for an unconditional love she assumed a significant other would give her. But what she found was that that unconditional love came in the form of the cutest kid she'd ever seen (yes she was biased). Noah was curious, funny, smart, kind and brought the kind of joy into her life she had never expected.
Though his birth had side tracked her career a bit, she made a promise to herself and to her son to make sure that no matter what, she'd follow her dreams. Not only for herself, but to show him that he could be whatever he wanted to be no matter the circumstances. And thanks to her best friend Alexandra Cabot, she was on her way there. Alex had been assigned her roommate randomly Freshman year. They were every bit opposites in many things and yet, she was the best friend she ever had. She never judged her, never made her feel less than. She challenged her, supported her, cheered her on and always stuck by her side when everyone else turned their back, especially when she chose to keep her son.
Alex and Olivia had taken the Criminal Justice path and while Olivia's journey led her to become a Police Officer and hopeful future Detective, Alex was always destined to be a Lawyer. And though she was young, she was already taking the world by storm and the criminals of New York City didn't stand a damn chance against her. Her phone beeped beside her and she looked down to see a text from her best friend.
When is little man heading out?
Olivia looked up at the clock on the wall, "Noah, baby get out here! You need to eat before the Martin's get here. It's a long ride to Montauk Beach and I don't want you feeling sick."
She picked up her phone and typed a quick response.
Getting picked up in the next ten minutes.
What are you up to today?
Laundry, cleaning, and sleep. All the things I never have time to do. Maybe we can grab dinner tonight or get take out and bring it here?
She waited for a response but didn't get one right away as expected. Not thinking much of it, she set her phone down and turned around, ready to call to her son again, "No-" She paused when she saw him climbing up onto the stool behind the counter, "There he is."
Noah smiled up at her and reached for the orange juice she left out for him, "Morning Mom."
Olivia slid the breakfast sandwich in front of him and smiled, "You're sure about this, right?"
Noah sighed and leaned playfully rolled his eyes, mumbling through a mouthful of food, "Here we go…"
Olivia smiled at him though her heart was aching, already missing him, "You know that if you don't want to go…if you've changed your mind…there is no shame in that. They don't even have to know the truth! We can say you got sick or-"
"Mom." He put his food down on the table and looked up at her, "Liam is my best friend. He has been since we were babies! I said no last year. But I'm ready."
Olivia pouted softly and walked around the counter, pulling him into his chest, "But I'm not."
Noah grumbled and tried to wiggle out of her tight grasp, "Mom…"
She pressed a plethora of kisses along the top of his curly head, "Why do you want to go so far from Mommy? Don't you love me?"
Noah laughed and pushed her back, "Mom…I'm going to be a few hours away. I'm not shipping off to war."
Olivia laughed and pulled back, "You're too smart for your own good, anyone ever tell you that?"
"Yeah. You." He said with a smile, "Almost everyday."
Olivia sighed and sat down beside him, "You know I can't help it kiddo. I just like having you close…we're a team you and I."
Noah smiled up at her, as much grief as he was giving her, he loved her more than she knew, "Team Mom and Noah."
Olivia held out her fist and he bumped it quickly, "Team Mom and Noah."
They sat quietly for a moment before the buzzer sounded and Olivia knew that Liam and his family were here to pick up Noah. She'd known them since the boys were in daycare. She did trust them. But doing what she did, living the life she had, she knew there were always dangers around the corner that you couldn't expect. She had to learn to trust though, especially when it came to Noah, let him explore, live his life so he didn't someday resent her. So she had to be strong for him, she could crawl into bed and cry when he left.
Noah jumped down from his stool immediately, "They're here!"
Olivia sighed and reached for a paper towel and a baggie for him to at least take his breakfast on the road, "Hang on!"
Noah ran to his room to grab his bag and came running out, "Let's go! Let's go!"
Olivia smiled and walked over to him, "Come on. I'll walk you down."
He stood up a little taller, pushed out his chest and smiled, "I can make it down there myself. I'm the man of the house after all."
Olivia couldn't help but laugh as she brushed crumbs off the side of his face, "Uh huh. I know baby. But…humor me, would you? Maybe I need it more than you…"
Noah sighed but smiled reaching for the door, "Whatever you need Mom."
She smiled, grabbing her keys and heading out the door with him. Together they rode the elevator down and walked hand in hand to the sidewalk out front. "Hey!" Noah's Mom Alyssa called, "Ready to go buddy?"
Noah smiled, "Hi Mrs. Martin! Thank you so much for letting me come with you guys! I'm so excited!"
Alyssa smiled and pointed to the back of the car, "Of course! Why don't you bring your bag to the back. Mr. Martin will help you."
Olivia smiled as Noah tried to drag the heavy bag towards the back, knowing better than to try and help him. She sighed, willing time to slow down, not for the first time. It felt like she had blinked and he'd gone from this tiny little baby needing her for every single thing to a grown and independent boy, soon to turn seven and start first grade who wanted to prove he could take care of himself. Where had the years gone?
Alyssa walked over to her, someone she did consider a friend, someone she trusted as best she could, "You doing okay Momma?" She said with a smile.
Olivia turned to her and smiled, knowing that Alyssa understood. She was a Mom of three, Liam was the youngest. Her oldest was starting High School and she was learning to let go in a completely different way. "Yeah…yeah I'm alright. I know he's in good hands with you and David. I just…"
"Worry." Alyssa finished for her and Olivia nodded, "I know. It's what makes you a good Mom. An amazing Mom actually."
Olivia sighed and reached into her back pocket for her wallet, "Look I know you said everything was taken care of but in case he needs anything or-"
"Put it away Benson." David called as he walked over to the two women, "This whole weekend is on my parents. We're not taking a dime."
She sighed and looked at him sternly, "We both know the kid can eat. And if he-"
"And if he needs anything, we'll take care of it." David said softly, "And that's my final answer."
Olivia sighed and put her wallet back in her pocket, "Thank you…"
Alyssa smiled at her, "I hope you are up to something fun while we're gone. You deserve it Olivia."
Olivia smiled, "Well see. More than likely, I'll just do all the things I never have time to do, like clean and sleep."
David smiled, "Oh come on Benson, go out and live a little. When do you get time like this for yourself?"
She smiled softly, "Never…" She looked back at her son who was laughing with his friend and his sister, "But…I'm still gonna miss him."
"I know. But…remember you're allowed to have your own life too. It's okay to be selfish, Olivia." Alyssa said with a smile, "You put everyone else first everyday…now put you first."
Olivia sighed and gave her a little nod just as Noah walked back towards her. "We'll let you say goodbye…"
She gave them a thankful smile and turned to her son. As he walked towards her, she saw something in him shift. As excited as he was, she saw it, that little bit of worry. That little bit of something that said, he still needs his Mom. Now she had to be strong for him. Bending down, she smiled and reached for him, "Alright kiddo. You are going to have the best time. But please remember to be respectful and kind. Listen to Liam's parents and his grandparents. Follow the rules and stay with the group. Okay?"
Noah nodded and put his hand on her arm, "I will. I promise."
Her eyes burned but she didn't want to cry in front of him. Reaching out, she brushed back his hair and smiled, "Have fun baby."
He knew she was waiting for him to hug her, just in case he didn't want to do that in front of his friends. But right now he didn't care. Reaching out, he launched himself into her arms and she stumbled slightly but didn't fall over. She held him tight, just like she always would, "I love you Mom."
Sighing, she pressed her lips to the side of his face and whispered, "I love you kid. More than you possibly know."
His arms wrapped around her a little tighter and she smiled, "If something happens…or I start to not feel well or I get hurt-"
"I'll break every speeding law in the world to get to you babes." She sighed and pulled back, "Uncle Fin and I will take the squad car out to Montauk Beach to get to you. Heck, I'd charter a plane if I had too." She smiled and wiped away the one tear that slid down his cheek so that his friends wouldn't see it, "Nothing will ever keep me from you kid. Especially if you need me."
Noah swallowed hard and nodded, "Promise?"
Lifting her hand, she curled her pinky finger towards him as they always did, "Pinky promise."
Noah beamed at her and wrapped his little pinky around hers, "See you in a few days."
"See you in a few days." Holding his face firmly in her hands, she kissed his forehead and then stood up, "Go on…"
He looked at her once more before stepping back and walking towards the car. As soon as he walked away, she felt that familiar ache in her chest. That sense of being alone. The feeling she'd fought for her entire life. The feeling of not having a single person on this Earth who would love her for who she was. She shivered slightly and played it off as a gust of wind that washed between them. Taking a deep breath, she waved and called out her goodbyes to all of them.
Noah was in the backseat, he turned to look at her through the window, lifting his little hand he waved once more. She smiled, pressing a kiss to her fingers before waving back at him. She waited until the car was out of sight before turning back to the building behind her. It wasn't the best location, but it was better than her original apartment when Noah was first born. And quite frankly, all she could be proud of was that she had a roof over her son's head. Because there had been days when she thought that wouldn't even be possible.
Stepping forward, she walked into the building and into the elevator. Resting her head on the back wall, she ignored the creaking of the old elevator and the blinking of one of the lights on the ceiling. Someday it would be better. It was what she told herself most mornings. Someday she'd have more, not only for herself but for her son because God he deserved it. Walking back into the apartment, she locked the door behind her and looked around.
The kitchen was a mess. The couch had a pile of laundry on it she'd dumped out last night with the intention of folding before Noah asked her to help him find his bathing suit. She hadn't vacuumed in what felt like weeks. She knew the bathroom needed a good scrub. There were bills she needed to catch up on. Paperwork she should look into for work. So many things she should do. But today, she felt exhausted. Completely and utterly exhausted and on top of that. She felt sad.
Grabbing her phone in the kitchen, she walked straight to her bedroom. Pulling the curtains shut once more, she climbed up on the bed and threw the covers over her head wanting to shut the world out today. There were a lot of things she didn't allow herself to do to protect Noah, to put him first. And one of those things was to admit to herself that sometimes this was hard. Sometimes it was lonely as all hell. And sometimes, she wished she had a fucking partner to help pick up the slack.
Tears streamed down her face as her phone buzzed beside her. Worrying it was work, she picked it up but saw her friend's face on the screen. Alex was calling, probably wanting to drag her out to do something. It was the Saturday after the Fourth of July and the city was buzzing with activity. But right now, she couldn't have cared less. Tossing her phone to the side of the bed, she threw the blanket over her head again and closed eyes hoping sleep found her soon.
She should have realized that her best friend wasn't going to give up.
And if she had known that the day was going to lead to her meeting a man that would change her life, her son's life completely, maybe, just maybe she would have answered her on the first ring.
Meanwhile, at his apartment in Brooklyn, Elliot was out on the little patio doing sit ups. Counting as he went. "97. 98. 99." He grunted as he lifted the last one, "100."
Laying back on the cool ground, he wiped the sweat from his forehead and reached for his water bottle. The pitter patter of feet made him smile and he turned to see his two year old golden retriever Ember trotting towards him. Her tail wagged back and forth, creating a much needed breeze. He laughed as she bent over him, sniffing and licking the sweat on him, "Hey girl." She whined and he sighed, sitting up to ruffle her fur, "We already went for a run…"
She sat down on her back legs and lifted one paw towards him, tilting her head to the side. He huffed and leaned forward, pressing his lips to her nose, "Well now you're not playing fair Em." Pushing himself up off the ground he reached for one of her discarded toys and tossed it towards the little garden in the middle of the apartments.
Ember barked loudly and took off, rifling through the garden to find her favorite toy. Quickly, she ran back to him and circled around him before dropping it at his feet. Elliot bent down, stretching slightly he threw it again, "What should we do today girl, huh? First time I have no real plans in a while."
She jumped around him as they continued to play together and he smiled. He never really saw himself as the kind of guy who would get a dog. It wasn't on his radar. He hadn't had them growing up. But two years ago, the day after another failed relationship that he thought could be something real, he'd gone on a call. And on that call there had been a frantic couple saying their dog Molly was inside and she was pregnant. Elliot had rushed in without thinking twice and found the poor thing curled up, the stress igniting labor for her. He'd picked her up as carefully as he could, carried her to safety and helped deliver all five of her puppies which he found ironic as his engine truck was number five.
Four of the puppies seemed unscathed, thriving. But the fifth was smaller, and her nose had a little spark, a burning ember. Elliot had put it out, cradled her in his arms to ensure that she was okay. And her owners had turned to Elliot and said, "She's bonded to you now…"
And thus, he had found himself being bonded to her. And when she was ready, she came to live with him. Giving him a sense of loyalty and love he had not felt before. At two years old she was thriving, happy, well trained and lovable. And still on her nose, was a mark, the little mark of that burning ember, a forever scar and reminder of where she had come from. A reminder that life throws many obstacles at you, but you have to keep fighting. Just as he had.
Walking back into the apartment, he made himself some eggs for his post workout meal. He made extra of course, plopping them in Ember's bowl by the sink. And then he'd climbed into the shower to wash the sweat from his body. He also wanted to wash away the hurt and frustration he felt after what had happened last night on the job.
He'd been at work, the last night of his three day shift. He'd been outside washing the truck when something caught his eye, someone to be exact. His ex-girlfriend. Kathy. He hadn't seen her in over two years but there she was, walking down the street hand in hand with another man and a hand over her belly. Her very, pregnant belly. And that in itself may have not seemed odd to anyone, except for the fact that while they dated, she had adamantly said she never wanted children. Something that had ultimately led to the demise of their relationship (one of many things if he was honest). But right now, he couldn't pretend it wasn't a slap in the face. To him it said it wasn't that she didn't want kids. It was that she didn't want kids with him. That he hadn't been good enough to her, that she didn't see him as Father material.
She hadn't noticed him until she was about to cross the street. But when she did, her eyes went wide and she looked down at her belly, shame filling her face. He just stared and she felt the man beside her pulling her along. He saw the flash of gold on her finger from the street light and knew he was her husband. Another thing she said she didn't want. Marriage.
Dropping the hose, he had turned, and walked back into the firehouse, feeling those years of shame, those years of not being good enough ignite in his chest. His best friend had called to him, but he had ignored him. Needing a few minutes on his own. Ashton knew better than to push him, at least that night. But Elliot wasn't surprised when he heard a booming knock on the door to his apartment. Sighing, he turned off the water, climbed out and wrapped a towel around himself. When he came out, Ember was barking softly, she sensed that whoever it was, was a friend not a foe.
He bent down, ruffled her fur and smiled, "Good girl."
She was protective, very protective of Elliot and he loved her for that. Opening the door, he held the towel low on his hips and sighed, "What do you want Ash?"
Ashton beamed at him, a big toothy smile and pretended to bat his eyelashes, "Maybe I want you for your body Stabler…"
Elliot huffed and stepped back, "Come in if you must. But cool it with that shit."
Ashton laughed and walked into the apartment, closing the door behind him as Elliot walked to his bedroom. Bending down, he pet Ember before plopping down on the couch. He kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the table in front of him, "You know what today is, right?"
Elliot was in his room, throwing on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, "I do. But as I told you before, I'm not going."
Ashton rolled his eyes and called to Ember, she ran towards him and hopped up on the couch, resting her head on his knee, "Oh come on! We need you! You're our best bet at beating those jerks at the NYPD."
Elliot huffed and walked in moving towards the fridge, "You know why I don't go to those."
Ashton nodded and caught a water bottle that Elliot tossed him, "I do know. You like to avoid all the people who know your Dad. But…don't you think you've been a firefighter long enough for people to move on? Besides…" He lifted his shoulder and sighed, "Joe's gone Elliot…he can't hurt you anymore."
Elliot took a big swig of his water and frowned, "You sure about that?"
Ashton sighed and sat up, leaning forward he pressed his elbows on his knees as Ember shifted away from him, "Come on Elliot…I know you generally avoid this stuff but it could be fun. Plus all the proceeds get split 50/50 between the NYPD and the FDNY. We all could use that. And…" He shrugged, giving him a little smile, "I'm sure they'll be lots of pretty, single ladies…"
Elliot laughed and walked over to the couch across from his friend. Ember immediately abandoned him and sat beside her owner and best friend, "Told you Ash, Ember is the only girl I need these days."
Ashton snorted and said, "Yeah but Ember can't keep you warm at night like a human girl can." Elliot ignored him and he pushed on, "She came by this morning…" Elliot looked back up at him with a frown, a confused look on his face, "Kathy."
Elliot shifted uncomfortably and then stood up, "Oh." Ember followed him towards the kitchen, "I really don't want too-"
"She wanted me to tell you she was sorry. And that…" Elliot turned back to him, "She just…didn't see it back then."
Elliot pressed his fingers into the counter behind him, "You mean she didn't see it with me."
Lifting himself up off the couch, Ashton walked towards his friend and shook his head, "It's her loss Stabler. We both know that you would make a hell of a Father." Elliot went to turn from him, "You will make an incredible Father. You just have to find the right woman." Elliot shook his head as he started to clean the kitchen up, "But you won't find her by locking yourself up in your apartment and only leaving for work…"
Elliot put a few dishes in the dishwasher and asked, "What makes you sure I'll be such a good Father?"
"Because I see you with my own kids." Ashton said, pulling himself up on the counter, "Jessie and Luca love their Uncle Elliot. Sometimes I think they love him more than me and their Mom."
Elliot turned to look at him and sighed, "And you know I love them…but I just want-"
"You want your own family." He nodded slowly, "I know. But like I said…you're not going to get that staying in here."
Elliot raised an eyebrow at him, "And you think I'm gonna find it by going to some competition fundraiser between the NYPD and the FDNY?"
Ashton sighed and hopped down again, "Maybe. Or…maybe you'll just find a pretty girl who you can have some fun with. Either way…you get something good if you ask me."
Elliot laughed and shook his head, "You know better than anyone I don't want just a one night stand…"
"So maybe it's a three month stand." He said with a shrug, "Still a win win."
Eliot rolled his eyes, "Ashton…"
"Come on man, don't make me beg. With Nick sidelined since he broke his hip…we need another member of our team. And…I already made you a shirt." Elliot shot him a look, "Just wishful thinking. Plus…" He walked towards him, "Allie's Dad is serving up BBQ all day…free beer. And you get to continually show us all up and prove you're the strongest and best looking in all of the FDNY…"
Elliot laughed and rolled his eyes, "Why the fuck do I put up with you?"
Ashton smiled and clapped him on the back, "Because I'm the only one that puts up with your stubborn ass too."
Elliot sighed and looked down at Ember, "Can she come?"
"Course." Ashton said with a nod, "She's one of us, or training to be, isn't she?"
Elliot smiled down at Ember as she looked up at him hopefully. He was in the midst of training her to be a therapy dog. To help them with anxious children when they were on a call. And so far, she was doing a hell of a job. No that he was surprised. Sighing, he knew that he really had no reason to say no. He had no other plans. And what else was he going to do? Hide in here all day? That would only make him feel worse.
Scratching Ember behind her ear he asked, "What do you say girl? Wanna have a little fun today?" She barked loudly and spun in a circle making him laugh, "Take that as a yes." Letting out a little breath, he looked at his friend, "Give me five minutes."
Ashton nodded, "I knew I'd wear you down. I've got your shirt in the car. I'll go grab it."
Elliot nodded and walked towards his bedroom, "Okay."
He was shuffling around in his room looking for his favorite sneakers when he knocked into his dresser. A frame clattered the hardwood and he turned towards it. As soon as his eyes fell on it, he knew what it was. Reaching out, he lifted it carefully. An old photograph faded by time of him, his Mother and his Father. He couldn't have been more than six or seven in it. Lifting it, he looked down at it and recognized the police badge displayed on his Father's chest.
And just like that, he was transported back in time to the day he told his Father he wouldn't be becoming a cop. That he instead chose to be a firefighter. The anger, the disappointment that displayed on his face. And the weight of his words were something that he would never forget.
Coward.
His Father had called him a coward. Said that he wasn't man enough to be a Police Officer as if being a Firefighter had no dangerous elements or consequences. He'd turned, walked away and the already strained relationship had never quite recovered. There were times that he had questioned his choice, not because he didn't love what he did, but because he wondered if it would have made his relationship stronger with his Father.
But soon after 9/11 only a few months into his new career, there was no looking back. He was right where he was meant to be. Sighing, he put the frame back in its place and finished getting changed. No, he wouldn't let Joseph Stabler get the best of him today. He deserved to have a little fun after all. Slipping a collar and leash on Ember, he walked outside and joined Ashton by the car, catching the t-shirt with his name on the back of it. "Up Ember."
Ember climbed into the back of the Jeep and he crawled into the passenger seat, pulling it on over his head. "Alright, let's do this. Could be the first day of the rest of your life Stabler…and someday you'll be thanking me."
Elliot laughed and slipped the sunglasses over his eyes, "Yeah, yeah."
Little did he know, his friend was right. He was about to meet the woman that would turn his life upside down in all the best of ways. Make him believe in being happy again, in love and going after that other dream he'd always had. Being a Father, a husband, having a partner and a best friend. Maybe then he wouldn't have been so cranky about it.
Olivia had slept soundly for a good forty minutes before the blankets were ripped off of her body rather abruptly, "Up and at 'em Benson!"
Olivia groaned and curled in on herself, relaxing when she heard that familiar voice, "Why did I ever give you a fucking key Cabot?"
Alex moved to open the curtains and smiled as the bright sun began to shine into the room, "Because I'm your very best friend and favorite human. That's why."
Reaching for a pillow, she threw it over her head and sighed, "Right now that is up for debate."
Alex laughed and walked over to her, "Did my nephew have any trouble on his way out this morning?"
Leaning back against the headboard, she held her pillow against her chest and frowned, "Not much…just a little at the end."
Alex smiled, "He's a tough little guy…just like his Mom." Her friend just stared at her and she smiled, "But he is going to have a great time and…you deserve to have a great time too."
Olivia swallowed the lump in her throat and sighed, "Alex, I have a million things to do here and-"
"And I already hired someone to come in and clean up for you." Alex said with a shake of her head, "We're going out. And we're spending the night at a hotel and just having some girl time."
Olivia cringed and shook her head, "Alex, n-"
"Come on. It's been years since we had a girls night out. And you have been working so much lately. Don't you want to go out and just let loose a bit?" She asked.
Olivia looked down at her lap, "I'm a Mom…I don't need to let loose."
Alex rolled her eyes, "Oh come on don't give me that crap. You've spent the last six years, almost seven at this point doing everything for Noah. For everyone else. Why can't we have a little fun?"
Olivia narrowed her eyes at her, "You don't have plans with Matt?"
"Not really." Alex said, her cheeks flushing as they discussed her boyfriend of six months, a cop in a different precinct, "But we will see him…"
Olivia sat up a little straighter, suddenly knowing where this was going, "Oh no. No Alex. I'm not going to that stupid thing…"
"Oh come on!" Alex said quickly as she watched Olivia climb off the bed, "It could be fun! And there will be a ton of hot guys there!"
Olivia huffed and walked into the bathroom, splashing water on her face, "Just because you like cops…doesn't mean I want to date one. I went down that road before, remember?"
"I know. You know perfectly well how I feel about that scum bag. But…he gave you Noah. So in the end…I'd say it was worth it."
Olivia sighed and poked her head out from the bathroom, "You know that's not what I meant but-"
"Plus, there won't be just cops there. Firefighters too…" She whispered with a smile, "And I hear most of them are fit as hell…"
Olivia laughed and walked over to her again, "Alex…"
"Come on, let's give it a go. What's the worst that could happen? You annihilate the rest of the squad and the firefighters and prove once again how much of a bad ass Olivia Benson is?" She said with a smirk.
She laughed harder, "You aren't helping…"
"Liv, I'm your best friend. Right?" Olivia nodded, "And have I ever done anything, or made you do anything I thought would cause you or Noah harm?"
Olivia shook her head adamantly, "Never."
"Alright then." She said with a nod, "Then let's go! We'll have some drinks, some good food, a few laughs. Then if you really, really hate it, we'll leave early and go to the hotel and hit the pool. Okay?"
Olivia looked around her apartment and knew that she could very well say no and Alex being Alex wouldn't make her feel bad for it. But then again, lying in her bed for the next two days until Noah got back wasn't going to help her anyway either. So with a heavy sigh, she resigned to saying yes, something she didn't often do. Or in this case, yes was more of a grumbled, "Fine…"
Alex cheered happily and stepped aside, "I have a good feeling about today Liv. You'll see! A very good feeling. And the last time I had this feeling I met Matt so…maybe it's your day to meet the right guy."
Olivia grabbed some clothes and went to change in the bathroom, "Don't hold your breath Alex. I'm not looking."
"Ah…but it's the time you're not looking that love always seems to find you." She said with a smile, "Or so I'm told."
Olivia rolled her eyes again and threw her hair up in a messy bun, not particularly caring how she looked because she wasn't looking for any man today. Walking out of her room, she threw her hands up in the air and sighed, "Let's get this over with."
Alex looked at her friend. Her hair was what Olivia considered wild but Alex knew most guys would find it sexy. She had no make up but quite frankly never needed it. She was a natural beauty. She had a tight pair of black shorts that hugged her hips and curves in all the right places, something that was sure to draw attention whether she realized it or not. And on top she had on a low cut NYPD navy blue tank top that showed off just the right amount of her cleavage. A sweatshirt was tied around her waist and to Alex was more than sure, she'd have no problem getting attention from the opposite sex today. The question was however, would Olivia allow it?
Alex walked over to her, slung her arm around her shoulder and whispered, "This could be the best day of your life Benson. You could be thanking me someday when we're getting you ready to walk down the aisle to meet your future husband and-"
"Please stop talking." Olivia said, reaching for her sunglasses as they walked through the living room, "And we better stop for coffee on the way or I'm gonna be more of a bitch than I already am."
Alex laughed and reached for the door, shutting it behind them, "Oh this is gonna be fun…"
An hour later, Olivia was already over the whole thing. She kept glancing at her watch to see when it would hit noon so that she could finally get a drink without hearing any grief about it. As soon as her watch beeped, she made a beeline for the beer truck to the left. "Where are you going?" Alex asked, turning away from her boyfriend for a moment.
Olivia pointed ahead, "I need sustenance."
Little did she know someone else was making his way towards the same stand, "Jesus, you're on a mission, aren't you?" Ashton called out, trying to keep up with him.
Elliot ignored him as he and Ember walked quickly towards the truck, "You could say that."
At the same time that he stepped forward in line, he slammed into a body. "Oomf." They both grumbled.
"What the hell?" Elliot looked down to see a woman stumbling slightly having tripped over Ember's leash. "Whoa!"
Olivia felt herself falling to the ground and the first thing she thought of was how embarrassing this was going to be if she busted her ass and she hadn't even had a drink yet. She could almost hear the words like mother like daughter ringing in the air even though she hadn't had a drink yet and most people here didn't know Serena Benson. She tried to reach out for something to grab hold of, but all she landed on was soft fur which confused her even more. And then, someone was grabbing her, lifting her and setting her on her feet again, "Hey!"
Elliot stepped back slightly, "Sorry ma'am. I didn't see you there."
Olivia turned and came face to face with a hard chest of a man. She swallowed hard, lifted her gaze and came face to face with the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. She was vaguely aware of a feeling in her belly she couldn't quite place. Like she'd just dropped twenty feet on a fast moving roller coaster without expecting it. Like the world had tilted on its axis and something had changed in the air around her. But being as stubborn as she was, she stood up straighter, pulled at her tank top and cleared her throat, "First of all, don't call me ma'am. Second of all…watch where you're going."
For his part, Elliot had been distracted the second she turned around. He wouldn't deny that as he went to help lift her up, his eyes had settled on her ass. He prided himself on being a respectable man but he was still a man after all. And those tight black shorts were doing little to hide the assets this woman had. But as soon as she turned around and he saw her face, it felt like he was standing in the middle of a burning apartment building. That adrenaline he felt every time he went to fight a fire, that feeling of instinct, electricity, power, and even a little excitement rushed through him. Only there was no fire to be found. Just the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
Clearing his throat, he wrapped his hand around Ember's leash a little tighter. "Noted."
Olivia blinked a few times before settling her sunglasses over her eyes again afraid he'd see her attraction to him looking back, "This your dog?"
Ember looked up at her, her head tilted, tongue hanging out as she panted, "Yeah. This is Ember."
Olivia looked at the logo on his t-shirt and nodded, "A firefighter with a dog named Ember." She smiled despite knowing better and mumbled, "Cute."
Elliot felt like his heart was doing somersaults as he watched Ember scoot closer to her. And then, she did something she rarely if ever did. Laid down on her back and rolled over, her tail wagging excitedly still, "She likes you…"
Olivia had always wanted a dog, begged her Mother for one for years. But Serena had been adamant about not letting any pets in their apartment. She knew now that she'd longed for the comfort that a pet could give. The unyielding loyalty. A dog wouldn't care that she wasn't supposed to be on this Earth. A dog would love her unconditionally despite the circumstances of her birth. She'd always hoped to get Noah one someday but somedays she could barely hold things together for the two of them. Having a third mouth to feed and look after seemed irresponsible so she'd settled on Goldfish for her son's fifth birthday. And the poor thing lasted 4 months, freezing to death in her apartment when she got stuck on a case for a whole weekend and Noah had left to stay with Alex.
Bending down, she ran her fingers through Ember's fur, scratching at her belly, "Oh yeah?"
Elliot couldn't take his eyes off of this mystery woman, "She only does that if she trusts someone which isn't often. And…she did it right away with you."
Olivia bit down hard on her lip, looked up at the dog who seemed as if she was practically smiling at her. Then, shook her head and looked up at him, "Well, you should teach your dog not to trust strangers."
Elliot looked down at the logo on her own tank top, "Spoken like a true cop…"
His voice had a flirty tone, and yet there was a little gruffness he had not meant to share and she did not appreciate. Pushing herself off the ground, she brushed her hands off and nodded, "Spoken like a firefighter who hates his brothers and sisters in blue."
Elliot huffed, realizing he'd taken a misstep, "I didn't mean anything by it…"
She clucked her tongue once and stepped back, her sneakers crunching under the dirt below her, "Sure you didn't." She turned quickly and walked up to the beer stand again, "Now if you'll excuse me."
Elliot grimaced slightly, realizing whatever chance he had had, he probably had just blown it. Thanks a lot childhood trauma he thought. You strike again. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ashton gesturing him forward as if to say don't let her go. With a huff, he stepped forward and stuck out his hand with his credit card, "Whatever she is buying is on me."
Olivia looked at him, irritation flooding her body, "That's really not necessary."
He lifted his shoulder, trying to smile. Though he had bad luck keeping women, he had no problem picking them up. A little flash of the infamous Stabler smirk and his sparkling blue eyes and most women were swooning at his feet, "Please. I insist. It's the least I can do for almost knocking you over with Ember…"
Olivia pushed his hand aside, "I can pay for my own drink and maybe try blaming yourself and not your dog for your missteps."
The man behind the counter chuckled, "Yikes."
Elliot's face fell and he hand dropped to his side, "I was just trying to be ni-"
"I know what you were trying to do." She said, sliding the money across to the man as she took the two beers, "But I'm a grown ass woman who doesn't need a man to look out for her or buy her drinks. So if you'll excuse me…" She took a big swig of one of the drinks and began to saunter away, "Have a great day Firefighter guy…"
Elliot snorted loudly and spun on his heel, Ember moving to quickly keep up with him, "Firefighter guy?"
She didn't turn but kept walking, "Don't know your name nor do I care. So yeah, firefighter guy."
Elliot found himself moving towards her without even meaning to, "Spoken like a cop who hates firefighters…"
Olivia smirked and turned to look at him, "How original."
Ember tugged on his leash and he stopped just feet from her, "Look, sweetie-"
"Sweetie?" She stood up a little taller, eyes boring into his even behind her sunglasses, "If I didn't like ma'am what makes you think I'll be okay with sweetie?"
He smirked at her, "Don't know your name…" He saw her raise an eyebrow and clearly she was waiting for him to add nor do I care like she had but he did in fact care, "So maybe if you told me what it was…it would make this easier on both of us."
She lifted one of her beers again, took another sip and whispered, "Oh I'd bet you like to know my name." She stepped closer and for a moment he forgot how to breathe, that burning feeling started in his chest again, "But I'm not like most girls…and I'm not that easy. So you'll just have to go on wondering who I am…and feeling sad you'll never have the opportunity to find out."
"Oh hey Benson. There you are." A voice called from their right.
Olivia immediately grimaced and saw the satisfaction grow on Elliot's face. "Fin…" Turning towards her partners she frowned, "What do you want?"
"Alex signed you up for some event and you need to get up there." He said with a nod, "We've been looking for you."
Olivia huffed and turned to the mystery man in front of her again, "If you'll excuse me Firefighter guy…I have things I need to do."
Elliot stepped back and nodded, "Don't let me hold you up then Benson."
She grumbled under her breath and stocked away from him, Fin hot on her heels, "What the hell was that about?"
"Nothing." Olivia said taking another swig of her beer, "Just some stupid guy thinking that I'll bite into his man saves woman routine."
Fin laughed as he settled in beside her, matching her pace as best he could, "Oh, he picked the wrong girl for that. That's for damn sure."
Olivia smirked to herself as she laid eyes on Alex and Matt, "Yeah well, too bad for him." Walking up to her friends she handed Alex the second beer, "What the hell did you sign me up for?"
Alex beamed at her, "An obstacle course. You go head to head with someone on the FDNY team."
Olivia looked to her left and saw that it was mostly running, also some climbing and what looked like possibly crawling, "Great."
Calling Officer Olivia Benson to the starting line. "That's you."
"Really? I had no idea." Olivia said with a laugh, "Hold this." She pointed at Matt, "And I know how much is in there so don't take any sips. Not worth the hell it took to get it."
She walked away and Alex gave Fin a look, "What was that about?"
"She met some guy in line for the beer." Fin said with a shrug, "And he was definitely interested."
Alex laughed, "Of course he was. But let me guess…she pretended not to be."
"Something like that." Fin said with a laugh, then out of the corner of his eye he saw the very man he'd seen talking to Olivia walking towards his partner, "And either he's the world's biggest idiot, or he severely underestimates her…"
Alex and Matt followed his gaze, "That's him?"
Fin nodded, "That's him…"
Matt whistled loudly, "That's Elliot Stabler…he's got a hell of a reputation as a firefighter."
Fin looked back at Alex's boyfriend, "Did you say Stabler?" Matt nodded again, "As in Detective Joseph Stabler's son?"
"Who is Joseph Stabler?" Alex asked, "Should I know him?"
Fin sighed, "Let's just say…he had a reputation of his own. Not a good one though. Hell of a temper. Got the job done but made some questionable choices along the way…"
Alex looked at her boyfriend, "And what kind of reputation does Elliot have?"
"A good one." Matt said, "Tough, strong. Doesn't seem to fear much. Always looks out for the victims. From what I hear, he's a good, decent man."
Alex frowned, "Sounds like a man trying to outlive his Father's shadow…"
"The same way Liv tries to outlive her's…" Fin muttered under his breath.
"Well, well, well…" Alex said with a nervous little laugh, "I think this is about to get very interesting indeed…"
Elliot didn't realize it was her at first, he was so wrapped up in their meeting he wasn't paying much attention. All he knew was that Ashton and a bunch of his other friends said they signed him up for an event and he had to go to the starting line. Upon hearing his name, he approached and was about to turn to his opponent when she saw him first, "Oh you've gotta be kidding me…"
Elliot couldn't help but laugh, "Well hello Benson."
Olivia kicked her legs back and forth to stretch them, "Are you following me?"
"No." He said quickly, "But my friends signed me up for this event as I see yours did. So here we are…"
Olivia looked back at Alex, Fin and Matt. Fin was smirking, Matt looked nervous and Alex looked like she'd just won the lottery. Adjusting the bun on her hair she looked ahead, "Eat my dust firefighter guy."
Elliot stood beside her, bending forward to stretch, "You seem quite sure of yourself. You think I can't beat you?"
Taking a breath she huffed and looked at him again, "I know you can't beat me."
Elliot clenched and unclenched his jaw and nodded, "Well see about that."
Bending down into the start off stance she smirked, "Yeah, we will."
The moment the horn blared, they both took off, Elliot getting quite a lead on her much to both of their surprise. If he was honest, he knew he was fast, he was athletic but she looked like a woman on a mission and he had no doubt she was stronger than she might look. As they approached the first obstacle of a climbing wall she was nowhere to be seen. He felt proud of himself but as he jumped to try and reach the rope, suddenly she was there and she was moving fast, her smaller stature making it easier for her to climb the walk quickly.
He huffed and tossed himself over the edge, fumbling slightly. "Shit."
Olivia turned as she ran, having heard him start grumbling, "You slowing down on me old man? Too much beer?"
He took a deep breath and urged his legs forward. Immediately he saw the spark in her eye and the inability to back down to a fight he often only saw in himself. And quickly, she turned to take off again. She was ahead, but not by much. She jumped over the first hurdle and seconds later he did the same. They both made it all four of them before rounding the corner to a long stretch of running and then a net ahead they would have to crawl under. Elliot thought he might have her there if he could keep up with her.
Deciding his best bet was to get in her head a little he teased, "Hope you get a good look at my back Benson because it's all you're gonna see in a second."
Olivia breathed heavily, "You fucking wish."
They both fell forward, getting down on their hands and knees, crawling under the net in their way. Once they got through, it was two narrow logs they had to run across, surrounded by mud on either side before the finish line. Olivai kept her eyes on the prize but all her limbs were on fire. This wasn't a comfortable position and obviously as a firefighter, he'd had more practice training in situations like this to stay low from smoke. Elliot started to gain on her and she urged her body forward, not wanting to listen to him if he won.
She hated losing. She especially hated losing to strong men who assumed she could never be as good as them. He was already on the log when she crawled out from under the net and clearly by the way he turned to look at her, he assumed he'd won. But, she still had a few tricks up her sleeves yet. Lunging forward, she jumped on the log and it rocked wearily, but it seemed to hold up better under her weight then Elliot's larger stature.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Elliot wobbling, trying to keep control but he was losing the battle quickly. In seconds she was ahead of him and chose not to look back, in fear she'd fall if she did. As she approached the finish line she heard a loud splash and she crossed the end, jumping triumphantly as the crowd cheered wildly.
"Officer Benson wins!" Rang threw the loud speaker.
"You did it!" Alex yelled as they all ran over to her, "You crushed him!"
Olivia held the sitch at her side and frowned, "Was there any doubt that I would?"
"Never." Fin said with a proud smile, "Never doubted you for a second partner."
Olivia laughed and smiled up at him, "Thanks Fin."
Alex looked behind her, "You think he's hurt?"
Fin laughed loudly, "Only thing that hurts is his damn pride…"
Olivia smirked and stepped forward, "I suppose I should be a good sport and check."
"Careful now Liv." Alex said with a knowing smirk, "You weren't very nice to him before…"
Olivia rolled her eyes and walked towards him as he tried to climb out of the pit of mud, "Son of a bitch…"
Crouching down, she looked at him and smiled, "Oh no, is big tough firefighter guy stuck in the mud?"
Elliot spit the mud from his mouth and looked at her, "Come here to gloat Benson?"
She smiled and shrugged, "Told you you couldn't beat me."
"I almost had you for a second." He said pointing a finger at her, "A few actually. And you know it." She just stared at him, "Hey, I'm already covered in mud. The least you could do was admit it to give me a little something here…"
She smirked and shook her head, "I'll never admit that…but." She sighed and held out her hand, "I will be nice and help you up." She pulled her hand back at the last second and he scoffed, "But you better not think you can pull-"
Before she could finish her sentence though, Ember came running, fearing that Elliot was in trouble. And as she ran past Olivia, she knocked her off her feet and she went tumbling forward, crashing into the mud directly on top of Elliot. His arms quickly encircled her, saving her from the heavy impact but not able to save her completely from the mud. His hands slipped against her body and the wet mud and suddenly he found his hands on her ass. Ember jumped around them, splashing mud all over them as the crowd around them laughed.
Olivia sat up, gasping for air as she leaned against the log beside her, "You jerk!"
Elliot laughed and sat up, "I didn't pull you! So if you're referring to my dog…I gotta tell you I'll defend my girl to the end…so be careful."
Olivia growled and wiped the mud from her eyes, "I wasn't talking to the dog."
Elliot huffed and stood up, finally finding his footing, "Good." He turned to look at Ember who was still jumping up and down frantically, "Em…chill. I'm good. It's okay."
Ember paused and then sat down in the mud, suddenly realizing where she was. And then she rolled back and forth, making the mud splash up more. Elliot chuckled and Olivia couldn't help but smile, "At least one of us is happy about this…"
Reaching his hand out, he gave her an honest look and whispered, "I won't drop you Benson."
Swallowing hard, she hated that something in his words ignited something in her. But her hand shot out, though shaking slightly. If he noticed, he didn't say a word. Pulling her up, they both found their footing on the grass, dripping mud all around, "I still beat you."
They were close, very close, dangerously close in fact and he stared down at her, wanting to kiss her despite the mud, "You did."
Her chest bumped into his and she whispered, "Well now that you know my name…and your dog knocked me in the mud…don't you think I deserve to know yours?"
The corner of his lips turned up in a smile and he held out his hand, "Stabler."
She looked down at his hand and nodded, "Stabler."
For some reason it sounded familiar. But at the moment she was too overstimulated in a million ways to know why. Instead, she made a choice. A choice to live a little as Alex had told her too. A choice to be playful, something she hadn't been in a long time. Shaking his hand she nodded. She could tell he was interested, that he liked what he saw. She wasn't trying to be cocky, but it was a feeling she had. He was too busy looking at her to realize what she was doing.
And then quickly, she tugged on his hand and he went headfirst back into the mud pit. Ember barked quickly and jumped in after him. Olivia stood off to the side, her hand on her belly as she laughed. He popped up again and turned back to her, "What the hell was that for?"
"Liv? You okay?" She turned and took a towel from Fin and wiped off her face.
Bending down she looked right at him, "That was for calling me sweetie, Stabler." She smiled and stepped back, "Told you, I'm not like most girls."
At the last second, she gave him a wink and turned her back on him to walk away with Fin who was still laughing. Elliot leaned against the log as he watched her, Ashton running up to meet him, "No…" He said with a huff as he watched her go, "You most certainly are not Benson…"
Ashton looked down at him, "You good man?"
Elliot sighed and pulled himself out again, shaking off as much mud as possible, "I'm fine." He looked around as people laughed and he couldn't help but chuckle to himself, "I may never live this one down…but…"
His voice trailed away as his eyes followed the path that Olivia had taken and Ashton smiled knowing that maybe his plan had worked after all, "But maybe it was worth it?"
Elliot took a towel from someone as they passed and he couldn't help but smile, "Yeah…maybe it was."
Or maybe, just maybe it was the first day of the rest of his life…
You say there's so much you don't know
You need to go and find yourself
You say you'd rather be alone
'Cause you think you won't find it tied to someone else
Ooh, who said it's true
That the growing only happens on your own?
They don't know me and you
I don't think you have to leave
If to change is what you need
You can change right next to me
When you're high, I'll take the lows
You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go
Grow as we go
You won't be the only one
I am unfinished, I've got so much left to learn
I don't know how this river runs
But I'd like the company through every twist and turn
Ooh, who said it's true
That the growing only happens on your own?
They don't know me and you
You don't ever have to leave
If to change is what you need
You can change right next to me
When you're high, I'll take the lows
You can ebb and I can flow
And we'll take it slow
And grow as we go
Grow as we go
Grow as we go
Grow as we go
I don't know who we'll become
I can't promise it's not written in the stars
But I believe that when it's done
We're gonna see that it was better
That we grew up together
Tell me you don't wanna leave
'Cause if change is what you need
You can change right next to me
When you're high, I'll take the lows
You can ebb and I can flow
We'll take it slow
And grow as we go
Grow as we go
Grow as we go
Grow as we goGAWG
