A/N - Yes. It's the StephLex rarepair that no one asked for or even considered. You're welcome.


Chapter 1

Steph went to check the pregnancy test, and her brain short-circuited.

By the time she realized she was hyper-ventilating, she was already sliding down the bathroom wall in a slow collapse. That was good, she'd be closer to the toilet if she threw up like she felt like she was going to, but she was reasonably sure it was from dread and not morning-sickness.

Yeah. Stephanie Brown had gotten knocked up again.


"Stephanie," his suave voice said, and oh fuck, he'd actually picked up for her when she called? Wow. That was - shut up, brain, it wasn't anything, Steph resolutely thought.

"Hi, Lex," Steph said, swallowing down her nerves.

"It's absolutely delightful to hear from you," Lex said. Oh. It was? That was … definitely not flattering, nope, uh-uh, surely just a line. Surely. "Are you in Metropolis?" Lex said.

"Um, no," Steph said. "I'm in Gotham."

"Would you like to be in Metropolis?" Lex said smoothly, and -

"Wh - what?" Steph said stupidly.

"I could send my helicopter down for you, bring you up for the weekend," Lex said.

"The weekend?" Steph said faintly.

"Absolutely," Lex said. "We could have a quiet dinner in tonight, take in a show tomorrow, have a late brunch on Sunday…" And a hell of a lot of sex in between, Steph was quite sure - "What do you say?" Lex said.

Well - she was a coward, ok? It would be easier to tell him in person. What's the worst that would happen? He'd stick her right back on the copter and send her back to Gotham.

"Yeah, ok," Steph said, still feeling knocked a little off kilter that Lex Luthor was inviting her to spend a weekend with him. She wasn't that good of a lay, was she? … was she?

"That would be really nice, Lex," Steph found the words to say. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure, sweetheart," Lex said. "Let's figure out the closest helipad to you."


The nearest helipad was Gotham General, but Steph was extremely relieved when they had the balls to refuse to let an out-of-town billionaire disrupt their MedVacs. (Steph had a feeling that if it had been Bruce Wayne who had asked, they would have fallen over backwards to accommodate him, however.)

But God forbid her mother see her leaving town to go hook up with Lex. Hell, some nurse or other would have been bound to recognize her and gossip to her mom and Steph did not need that stress right now.

Her mom was gonna find out soon enough who'd fathered her second grandchild, after all. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

A very offended-by-Gotham Lex had quickly regrouped after delivering some scathing comments, no doubt, to whoever'd been unfortunate enough to speak with him at Gotham General, and Lex had sent a limo to pick Steph up at her apartment to drive her downtown, instead, to the swanky Ritz Carlton in the Diamond District.

Steph had expected to walk herself in to the hotel while carrying her own small suitcase like a normal person, and then ask at the reception desk about finding her way up to the helipad, but the limo driver astounded her by taking her suitcase for her rather than handing it over and driving off. Lex must have pre-tipped him really well, Steph thought to herself, as the driver led her into the lobby straight to the concierge and smartly announced, "Ms. Brown, here for her helicopter."

Her helicopter. Right, Steph mentally snorted.

"Ah, Ms. Brown," the fancier guy standing next to the concierge said like he'd been waiting just for her. He was wearing an actual suit, not a uniform, and he was reaching out to shake her hand. "I'm Thomas Dubois, the general manager of the Gotham Ritz Carlton. We're so pleased that we could be of assistance to you today."

"Thank you," Steph said, her eyes slightly widening as they shook hands. So she was getting the celebrity treatment, huh. Thanks, Lex. Her eyes darted to the politely smiling concierge at the manager's side.

"This is Lewis, one of our concierges," the big gun introduced when he noticed where her eyes had landed.

"It's nice to meet you, Lewis," Steph said with a little smile as she stuck her hand out to him. Lewis's eyes got a sneaky twinkle as he gravely shook her hand back and welcomed her to the Ritz. She knew that Lewis knew that not only had she never stayed in a Ritz Carlton in her life, she could not now nor would she ever be able to afford even a single night's stay - and neither could he.

Although, Dusnooty probably knew that about Steph, too, but didn't give a crap, because she was obviously fucking Lex Luthor and was therefore Very Important In This Moment. Dusnooty gestured to Steph and said, "Right this way, Ms. Brown" and look at that, poor Lewis had to take her miniscule suitcase and trail after them, because carrying luggage wasn't Mr. Manager's job.

God. Was her kid gonna grow up spoiled? Steph suddenly wondered. She had no idea how involved Lex was going to want to be - her unicorn wish was that he wouldn't want anything to do with their kid at all, but she figured that was probably unrealistic.

And oh, B was gonna kill her, Steph thought as the elevator doors slid shut. He might even try to make her quit being Batgirl, not that she probably ought to keep running around fighting crime when she was pregnant, she suddenly realized. Yeah, she'd run around town as Spoiler with an enormous belly, but she'd been planting clues to foil her dad's crimes, not literally getting into fights.

Steph felt tears start to gather at the back of her eyes, but - Ooh, her stomach did not like the swaying of the elevator when they took off. Oh shit. Steph swallowed hard and gritted her teeth and took deep breaths, but thankfully as soon as they got going and the ride was smoother, the contents of her stomach decided they could stay inside her body.

But yeah. How was she gonna be a superhero when her baby daddy was a super-villain? It wouldn't matter much when her kid was a baby, but what about when the kid was old enough to figure out what their mom was up to at night and could blab to Lex about it? Fuck, she'd need a good babysitter, too, wouldn't she? Or a nanny. God, her life was gonna be suspicious as all hell to a sitter. Maybe someone in the hero community could do it? Oh, God, Steph thought helplessly.


Lex's equally respectful and helpful pilot was waiting for her next to the sleek helicopter that had LexCorp splashed all over the sides, and he took Steph's suitcase from Lewis and loaded it into the chopper while Steph dug in her purse for some cash so she could give Lewis a tip. She felt bad that all she had was a few dollars, because he was probably used to getting a lot more, but he thanked her graciously and sincerely with a kind smile that said that he understood all too well how thin her pocketbook was.

"Have you ever flown in a chopper before?" the pilot asked Steph after he got her buckled in and set up with a headset so she could talk to him over the comms. When Steph said no, he reached behind her seat and grabbed her a barf bag with a grin.

"Just in case," he said, "but I'm going to give you a smooth trip, don't worry."

Yeah, apparently smooth trip was a relative term to someone who was pregnant, because as soon as he lifted off, Steph was retching into the bag. Thank God he'd given it to her, she thought, cringing with embarrassment.

"God, I'm so sorry," the pilot was saying, looking concerned, but Steph shook her head.

"Not your fault," she mumbled, trying to wipe her mouth on the edges of the bag.

She threw up again on the landing, and that was just lovely, wasn't it. She didn't even notice that Lex was there waiting for them until he was unclipping her seatbelt and fussing over her.

"I'm so sorry you got airsick, sweetheart," he was saying, looking concerned.

Yeah, he was gonna look a little more concerned in a few minutes, Steph knew. She supposed it was good that he already had an inkling that his sexy weekend was not about to go as planned.

But Lex, at least, had the manhood to take her suitcase himself as he led her by the hand down the stairs into his elegant penthouse on the top floor of LexCorp.

"Wow," Steph breathed out when she stepped into the airy, sleekly modern space that had what she was quite sure were original Mark Rothkos and Sydney Pollacks on the walls. "You have good taste in art," Steph smiled at Lex, who looked faintly surprised at her comment.

"So do you, apparently," Lex said.

"The Gotham Modern Art Museum has free entry," Steph said, wandering over to stand in front of one of the Rothkos. "I used to hang out a lot there as a kid. Do you feel like they move, too?" she asked him, looking over her shoulder. "I always felt like I could see them breathing, like they were alive."

"Yes," Lex said again, sounding even more astounded. Steph smiled at him. "Most people don't spend enough time in front of them to notice that, I don't think," Lex said, coming up next to her. "They take a quick glance, say "oh, I could paint that,' and move on."

Steph chuckled.

"Their loss," she mused.

"Indeed," Lex said, looking down at her thoughtfully. He cleared his throat. "Why don't I show you to the bathroom," he said. "I'm sure you'd enjoy some mouthwash," he smiled and Steph groaned.

"Yes. Thank you," she said.

"And we'll definitely delay dinner," Lex smiled. "A soda instead, perhaps? Ginger ale?"

"That would be great," Steph said in relief. "I'm sorry I got sick," she mumbled, feeling embarrassed, but probably not as embarrassed as she would feel minutes from now when she had to say "sorry I got pregnant."

"It wasn't your fault," Lex was saying kindly. "I'm so used to flying, I've forgotten what a jolt to the system it can be for some people. We'll get you some Dramamine to take ahead of time before your flight home."

Yeahhhh, she wasn't gonna be able to take that with her little bun in the oven, but Lex didn't need to know that right now.


He had an iced ginger ale waiting for her on the oval glass coffee table in front of his sharply rectangular black leather sofa when she emerged from the bathroom, and Steph took it with a grateful smile as she sunk down into the plush cushion next to him, scrunching her now bare toes up into the shaggy fibers of his abstractly patterned area rug.

"Thank you," she said as she took a small sip.

"It's my pleasure," Lex said, looking her over with a smile. And yeah, Steph knew sex eyes when she saw them, but she was glad he wasn't being a jerk about it. He honestly didn't look put out that she'd inadvertently derailed the beginning of their night, and that was much sweeter behavior than Steph had expected from someone who was, ya know, a super-villain.

"I realized," Lex said, gently threading his fingers through her free hand and pulling it up to his mouth to kiss her knuckles, "I never let you tell me why you called earlier. Which, obviously, I'm glad you did," he said with a heated smile.

"Oh," Steph said, feeling her stomach knot up again. She winced and set her ginger ale down on the table. "I'm so sorry," she said miserably. "I was going to tell you on the phone, but then when you invited me up here I thought I'd wait and tell you now -"

"It's fine," Lex said, looking surprised at her distress. "I distracted you," he said with a small chuckle, kissing some of her fingertips now.

"It's not exactly fine," Steph said hoarsely. Lex's brow was getting the slightest bit furrowed before Steph took a deep breath and blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

Lex stared at her.

"I'm so sorry," Steph whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm on birth control. I don't know how - we used a condom -" she gulped and covered her mouth up with the hand that she pulled out of Lex's, trying not to bawl.

Lex's face looked as blank as Steph's probably had that morning when she'd stared at the plus sign that shouldn't have been there.

"You're sure it's mine, I take it?" Lex finally said, but his tone wasn't accusatory. It was more like how B got when he was trying to work out a problem, considering all the angles in a dispassionately detached manner.

"Yeah," Steph said, wiping her leaking eyes on her sleeve. "I haven't slept with anybody except you since my last period."

"All right," Lex said evenly, still sounding slightly monotone, like a zombie. Steph knew the feeling.

"And you're sure you're pregnant?" he persisted.

"Well, I only took one test," Steph sniffed. "This morning. My period was late and I thought I was being paranoid so I wanted to reassure myself…" she trailed off. "But I threw up twice on the helicopter," she muttered. "And the elevator at the hotel made me queasy, too," she said.

"Well…" Lex said. He glanced at the clock. "We'll assume for the time being that the test was accurate, but I'd like to take you to a doctor for a blood test tomorrow to be sure."

"Ok," Steph said. That was a good idea, honestly, but she was pretty sure it was going to give them the same results.

Lex took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Have you considered what you want to do?" he said carefully.

"I'm keeping it," Steph said quietly, looking down at her hands. God, he was probably gonna hate her. She was sure he'd rather she have an abortion and be done with it so their lives could continue on uninterrupted and uncomplicated and empty and -

Steph startled when Lex's fingers landed on her jaw and turned her face to his, and she barely had time to register the light in his eyes before he was kissing her, and - what - the - fuck - God, he was really kissing her, sliding closer and wrapping an arm low around her waist to pull her tight against him, and the hand on her jaw was stroking her cheek now, before tangling in her hair and caressing the back of her head, and Steph was surprised to find herself leaning into it and kissing him back, which was not the plan, and her arms wound up around Lex's neck and then she ended up in his lap, until finally she was staring up at him, breathless.

God, his eyes were on fire and crinkled up at the corners with - smiles? Yeah, Lex was smiling as he pressed his forehead into hers and held it there.

"You're not mad?" Steph said in utter confusion.

"Mad?" Lex said, sounding astounded. "Sweetheart - no -" he finally seemed to register Steph's deep perplexion and drew back.

"I had a son," Lex said hoarsely and suddenly - that was grief in his eyes.

"Conner," Steph whispered, feeling her own heart wrench with pain. Lex nodded.

"He died," he said in a thick voice before swallowing hard, and - oh, God, Lex's eyes were actually getting wet. Steph hadn't known - sure, she knew that Lex had acknowledged Conner as his son, but - she hadn't thought he'd really loved him, not like a father - Superman hadn't, after all, but - Lex looked as broken as Steph had looked after she'd come home from the hospital.

"I had a daughter," Steph choked out. "When I was 15. I gave her up for adoption," she said. "I didn't even hold her," she whimpered, and then she was crying into Lex's shoulder and he was holding her and sniffing into her hair, and - they were hugging. Steph and Lex Luthor. Hugging it out and crying on each other about the children they'd lost, and holy shit, they were having a baby together.

Maybe a lot more together than she'd planned on. Fuck.

B really was gonna kill her.


A/N - Yep, there's more coming. Of course there is.

You can follow me on Tumblr as River9Noble. Come say hi!