Note: I've been a fan of the show Lucifer since it began airing originally on FOX, and I've been meaning to create a new fanfic for it for a while now. Now just to be clear, I'm planning to include some elements and characters from Lucifer in one or two of my other stories in the future, but this is its own self contained series. The events that transpire here will not affect my other works.

Note: Anyone else ever think Tom Ellis's version of Lucifer and Harry Potter would have a bit in common?

Note: Some events will probably blend into other episodes because I'm not as long winded a writer as the show-runners.

Note: Some people might question how positive Harry is after completing his portion of Lucifer's deal. To that I say, what he does is infinitely better in his opinion to living with the Dursleys and allowing creepy old men to control him.

Note: To avoid confusion I'll also point out that the show confirmed the fact that time moves more slowly in hell.

Note: As for Harry's attitude… After the hell his life became, is it really so surprising that he found a liking for being the one to finally hold the knife? Finally, who else besides me is excited about the prospect of Harry Potter meeting Linda the therapist?

Part One - You Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight

Music blared, strobe lights lit the air, and as raucous partygoers had the time of their lives Lucifer Morningstar gazed out over his kingdom on earth. It was everything he could ever dream of. Open debauchery as far as his eyes could see. Oh how he loved Los Angeles. Moving in steady tempo to the beat he decided to mingle with his adoring subjects, pay the proper attention to his dancers, and survey his domain from a closer perspective. His ramblings eventually took him to the bar where he ordered three fingers of fifteen year old Glenlivet scotch. As his order was fulfilled and the bartender went away he was left alone with the other barkeep, his personal demon, Mazikeen.

Ever the gentleman, he leaned forward to address her when she held up a hand to stop him. Curious about this action he held off and was rewarded a moment later as one of their new bar-backs rose up from beneath the bar, wiping his mouth. "Thank you Geoffrey, now go bring in the next batch from the back." She instructed as if nothing was amiss.

"Yes, Ms. Mazikeen." The young man scurried off, leaving the two immortals alone.

"Good show, Maze." Lucifer's grin was predatory, "Though I have to wonder what your little Englishman would have to say about that. His eyes tellingly moved to the silver ring hanging on a gold chain between the valley of her breasts.

The demon grinned salaciously and begin to finger the object lightly, "Oh we came to an 'understanding' the last time I visited him down below. As long as he's sitting in your chair he can have any of my sisters whenever he wants, and in the meantime I can have a little bit of 'fun' while I'm waiting for him here."

"Have I mentioned how glad I am you two hit it off? You've mellowed each other out quite a bit."

"Well when two people both have shitty lives and hate humans they're bound to have some things in common. Shared misery is a great ice breaker after all." Her hand closed around the ring and a fond smile crossed her sinfully beautiful features. "Also the fact I'm a demon didn't seem to bug him so that helped a great deal." Mazikeen noted.

"He also seems to like giving gifts." The devil noted while gesturing once more to the ring.

"Harry said that someone as beautiful as me deserved something pretty to wear. He smelted this ring from the silver teeth he pulled out of his prisoner's mouths. Oh Lucifer you should see the things Harry is doing down in Hell. Taking over your seat really gave him the excuse to let go of all those pesky inhibitions and thoughts of right and wrong." She shuddered with joy, causing her lord to quirk his eyebrows.

"I take it his torture tactics have improved."

"You have no idea. He just makes me so proud." Again came that shudder of what was clearly pleasure. "His time is about up isn't it?" She tried to hide her anticipation but her lord saw right through her ruse.

"Just about. Almost two years up here, ten down below, should be any day now. Who knows, with how the years have changed him physically you might not be accused of cradle robbing." The prince of darkness mused as one of the doormen started rapidly waving to get his attention. "Sorry Maze, but seems like something at the front needs my attention."

The dark skinned demoness waved him off lazily. "Do what you do, I'll be here."

Whatever the devil expected from his summons it wasn't an old performer of his. He'd got her in touch with the right people to enhance her career and then, of course, things had gone pear shaped for her. She'd started doing drugs, posting nude selfies, and underperforming in her later albums. Apparently she'd come to him to ask if making a deal with the devil had been the cause of her misfortune. He of course had just laughed and explained that it was the choices she made that had gotten her in this situation and he'd just convinced her to get her life back on track when it happened.

A hail of gunfire from a passing car window obliterated Delilah, bounced off of his chest, and shattered the windows behind him.

Some time passed. The guests left, the music stopped, policemen came and went collecting evidence and all Lucifer could focus on was three particular facts. First, Delilah had come to him for aid, thus she was supposed to be safe when in his presence. Second, the shooter was wearing a very distinctive watch. Third… someone had had the audacity to open fire in front of his club! If anyone had been watching close enough they would have seen his eyes flash crimson. Every crime lord in the city knew Lux was off limits to their business, which meant this killer wasn't running with any of the big gangs.

Who would kill Delilah? An overzealous fan? Old boyfriend? And who would have the balls to do the deed here? His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a particular female blond haired detective.

"Excuse me Mr…."

The devil grinned at the implied question. He found mortal's reactions to his name to be simply divine in their singular hilarity. "Lucifer, Morningstar."

The detective blinked at the outrageous name. "Is that your stage name or something?"

"God given I'm afraid." As she moved to start their interview he held up a hand. "I'm sorry detective, but could you give me a second, I need to go over something with a member of my staff before we begin." The detective was clearly annoyed, but she nodded nevertheless.

Lucifer stalked over to the bar and grabbed Mazikeen's attention. "Well Maze, what do you think?"

The demoness glanced condescendingly at the slowly moving mortals. "I think these fools aren't going to do shit to solve this for you."

The devil raised an eyebrow at the vehemence in his subordinate's tone. "That's quite the attitude, darling. I didn't think you'd care so much about one dead human."

"I don't." She answered simply. "But this is your territory and someone had the gall to perform an act of violence upon it. It's insulting!"

"Quite." Lucifer's amusement disappeared in an instant. "I'll solve some angles on my own, but I could use an extra pair of hands on this hunt."

Mazikeen's eyes lit up, and a hungry purr erupted in her throat. "Are you saying what I think you are, Lucifer?"

"Yes." He placed a coin in-printed with designs of clearly demonic origin on the bar before sliding it over to her. "Take this, go below, and bring your boy toy back up with you. I want my dog on the hunt."

"Yes, my lord." Mazikeen bowed her head as a salacious grin developed on her lips.

Lucifer meanwhile returned to the foot tapping detective. "I'm sorry for the wait, officer. What was your name by the way?"

"Detective Decker. Not would you mind running me through what you saw at the time of the attack?"

Two Years Ago

Like every night before, the devil was leaning over his balcony, gazing upon the raucous energy being displayed on the floor of his club. He idly considered weather or not he should start a set upon his trusty piano, or get a drink, but a strange sight made the decision quite easy for him.

Mazikeen, in all her demonic glory, was showing off the demon half of her face to a young man at the bar that couldn't be more than eighteen years old, and he didn't seem to care! Maze was tilting her head this way and that, even throwing in Dracula-like hand gestures and doing the classic "blah blah blah" sound effect to no avail. Nothing was getting a startled reaction. A quick look at the surrounding guests proved that no one had seen the woman's face, and it helped that she was currently at the end of the bar, where the wall could shield it. That being said, he should probably look into this situation before someone did notice.

So it was that he shimmied along through the throngs of people to stand behind the young man. He was just able to hear the tail end of the conversation before either of them noticed him.

"So how about it? Wanna share a drink with me when your shift ends?" The British accent in his voice came through quite clearly to Lucifer. So he was asking her out? How adorable.

"Seriously? Even after showing you my face you still want to go out with me?" If he didn't know better, the devil would have thought his little minx's voice was… shaking. Was she seriously that surprised that she was still desirable in her true state?

The young man leaned forward to rest on his elbows. "Honey, my life has been shit for a long time. I have scars that will never heal. Memories that will never die. I know the ugly truth of this world and the people in it better than most, so trust me when I say you are beautiful no matter what you look like, and yes I want to take you out."

Oh, quite the flatterer. Very few people were charming enough to get the time of day from Mazikeen, let alone get her emotional. She always had been a little touchy about her face. Lucifer decided he rather liked this young man and gently cleared his throat. Maze got the implied message and scurried off, leaving the two men alone. It was as he took a seat in the stool next to him that the devil was finally able to perform a more in depth analysis. Yes, eighteen seemed about right for him. Which meant he shouldn't have been able to order that glass of what was clearly scotch in his hand from his club, but in the end he didn't really care about that so much. Old enough to enlist, old enough to drink in his opinion. But it was the other features he could pick out that were truly fascinating. Two scars stood darkly upon his face. One that cut through his right eyebrow down to his cheek, and another in the shape of a lightning bolt on his forehead that just 'reeked' of a damned soul. Yes, that would be going soon enough. Lucifer might be shirking his duties but he wasn't outright ignoring them.

Furthermore, his piercing green eyes, though dimmed slightly from the alcohol, were looking him up and down with the practice of a seasoned soldier. Looking for size, weapons, implications of training in martial arts. The devil just knew he was finding his host to be someone that shouldn't be fucked with. Then there was that uncombed or cut hair that practically fell over his head and neck in unkempt, though stylish waves and the light beard growth on his chin. This person had clearly not been focused on his own grooming in quite a while.

He poured himself a drink of his own and with a pearly white smile the devil reached out his hand. "Lucifer Morningstar, pleasure to meet you. This is my club."

The stranger hesitated for a moment before reaching out to shake the offered hand with his own. "Harry Potter. Sorry, was I being too forward with your bartender? If so I'm more than willing to apologize to her."

Lucifer waved him off. "No need. Honestly I think you probably made her night. few people can see her face without running off screaming. But that is what I wanted to ask you about. Why would she risk revealing herself to a stranger?" He gazed pointedly at the young man.

He just shrugged, shoulders slumping with a depressing weight as he answered. "She seemed interesting, we started talking, and somehow the discussion turned to the scariest shit we'd seen. We started one upping each other until she finally showed me her face. I don't know what reaction she expected, but I've seen a lot worse than that in my time."

Intrigued, the devil asked, "Such as?"

"You ever see a half dead, bald, snake dude with no nose and red eyes? Cause I have, and that shit sticks with you."

"Hm. I suppose it would. Say, can I show you something?"

Harry took a fresh sip of his drink before looking back at the man to give his answer, and was instead confronted with a burned crisp of a face with glowing red eyes.

Whatever Lucifer expected from this show it certainly wasn't another shrug of the boys shoulders before he turned to take another sip.

"Okay, Maze is one thing," Lucifer noted as he willed his features back to normal, "but I'm entirely different. How does my true face not get even a flinch? Most mortals go mad at the sight."

Harry sighed, "I've already seen Maze, a demon by her account, and you introduced yourself as Lucifer Morningstar. So I kind of expected something like that to be honest." He took another sip. "So I'm drinking with the devil himself. The way my life has gone I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"Hm." Lucifer took a sip of his own, "Why don't you tell me about it? You've made me curious."

So Harry did. He told the devil everything that had happened in his life. The Dursleys, magic, Hogwarts, almost losing his life every year and the arrival of Voldemort. When he finished with his escapades in the department of mysteries he stopped for a second. "Things went back to how they always were. I was locked back up with my relatives. No one wrote to me. No one told me anything. Then of all things a house elf named Dobby popped into my room with an angry eagle carrying a letter from Gringotts Bank. In it was a debit card, a key, a ring, and a letter saying that Sirius' will had been read. I didn't even know there was a ceremony for it but they mentioned it was bad form that I missed it. They said Sirius had arranged for me to inherit everything from him upon his death. That meant his bank accounts, possessions, and title as Lord Black. Funny thing about the last one, once I put on the provided ring to claim it, I was immediately emancipated in the the eyes of the law."

He chuckled lightly at the recollection. "So there I was with freedom on my finger and millions worth of gold burning a hole in my pocket. In an instant I had so many plans, but they were crushed a second later when I realized that there was no way Dumbledore would let me go. He had too many plans built up surrounding me. Hell, he had just told me a couple weeks prior that he had known about a prophecy concerning me since I was an infant and had refused to tell me."

"Hm, so you wanted to leave, but you were being watched by the agents of a possibly pedophilic old man." Lucifer summed up what he had heard. "Did I get that right?"

"Well I don't know if he was a pedophile but he was certainly an asshole. The fact that Mrs. Figg lived on my street and reported to him proved that he knew how I was treated on Privet Drive all those years and never did anything to stop it."

"Well you're here now so you obviously escaped. How did that come about?"

"I asked Dobby to poof me to the nearest airport. Excitable little guy is still one of the best friends I've ever had. He actually bonded with me that night so if you want to meet him I can call him up. Anyway, I confounded a TSA clerk to think nothing of the fact I had no passport, and then bought a ticket for the first flight I could find leaving the country." Harry leaned back in his chair, a happy smile on his face, "And I've been traveling the world ever since. I started in Europe first, made my way through Germany, France, Italy, and Greece. Made a few friends, met a few ladies that found me cute, and carried on. Japan was cool, China not so much, made some great contacts in Russia."

"Did you go to South America?"

"Mainly just Chile and Brazil. Then I started exploring America. Interesting country for a bunch of Yanks. The midwest was… calming. For a while I even considered buying some land and settling there, but I ran into the same problem I had everywhere else."

"Oh? Do tell." The devil purred.

"I kept getting tracked down. Weather it be by the Order of the Fried Chicken, or Death Eaters, someone eventually showed up asking questions about a teenager with a scar like this on his forehead." He tapped his lightning bolt to drive the point home. "One of the death eaters got pretty close in Chile. He found me, but in the end I was the better fighter. It was sheer luck he hit me with a cutting curse before portkeying away. Otherwise I'd have had his head. I took that bastard Malfoy's arm though."

"Ah, so that's where you got your other facial ornamentation." Lucifer pointed to the face scar as he said it. "So what's the plan now?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you're here, you're clearly having a grand old time, but as you say you'll eventually need to move on right?"

"That does tend to be the pattern."

"Rather rough isn't it?"

Harry shrugged. "To some I'm sure it would be. But even on the run as I am, I still live by my own choices and desires. I go where I want, do what I want, and if I have to leave again that's just fine. I'll be sure to find something even better in the next place I end up."

Lucifer clinked his glass against the boy's. "Now that is an attitude I can get behind, but what if I could offer you some stability and safety?"

The boy who lived raised a single eyebrow. "Are you seriously suggesting I make a deal with the devil? Historically that doesn't tend to end well."

Said devil laughed lightly at the comeback. "Oh don't worry, I think you'll like this one. I'm offering you the chance to go to a place few, if any, ever do, in a position of authority. You serve me in this way and I'll promise you my personal protection for as long as you reside in Los Angeles. You'll never need to move again. I'll even give you a job at my side should you desire it since you interest me so much."

"Hm, well I do like this city. It's so full of life," his eye wandered to a trio of scantily clad women dirty dancing with each other, "and beauty."

"Yes it is." Lucifer too was enjoying the sight."

"What 'way' would you want me to serve you for this bargain?"

"Oh it's quite simple really. You see I'm up here, which means my throne down below is vacant. Demons are running the circus so to speak. I need someone to go down there in my place for a while to make sure they know who's still in charge, and that things are still running smoothly."

"Define running smoothly?"

"The damned are suffering the torture they should be. Basically I want to make you the steward of my kingdom for a while. Think Lord Denethor from the Return of the King."

"I loved that movie."

"Who didn't?"

"Fair enough." Harry thought about it for a moment. He didn't really have anything to lose here. If he said no, he'd walk out the door and just keep on as he had. If he said yes, he'd get the chance to rule with an iron fist (something he'd long desired but never been able to do, for obvious reasons.), experience an entirely new dimension, and actually dish out punishment instead of taking it. Plus he'd get to set up some roots of his own in a place he chose for once in his life.

Harry looked Lucifer in the eyes, raised his glass and said, "Throw in a couple bottles of whatever this is and you have a deal."

The devil reached across the bar and topped both of them off as he said, "Dalmore Port Wood Cask. Excellent taste, Harry." The two clinked their glasses once more and sipped with mutual delight. "Don't sweat the details of Hell too much. The only order that matters is that of the one on my throne. As long as you keep the wheels turning I won't micromanage you. Hell, I'll send Maze down with you for a bit so she can show you the ropes." The slight blush that adorned the boy's face as he added that last part was just delightful.

Present Day - Hell

Maze hated using Lucifer's coins. The damned things were the single worst mode of transportation in existence. She swore they were designed to make her land on her face whenever she used them. Still grumbling to herself she let her demonic side out in full, dusted off her heavily revealing dress, and strutted through the gates of the greatest castle in Hell. The guards made to stop her for all of two seconds before she was recognized and their backs went straight with respect. It was nice to see that her boy-toy was keeping proper discipline in this place.

On and on it went. She ascended stairs, walked through hallways, met guards, pages, and staff that saluted and bowed, until finally she reached the very top of the tallest structure in the place. A solitary tower rising above all other creations in this infernal plane, supporting a glass domed atrium that offered a three hundred and sixty degree view of the landscape.

In the middle of this atrium was a throne of black marble, and upon it was Harry Potter, her lover, naked and reclined happily as one of her sisters bounced ecstatically on his lap, face screwed up in orgasmic joy. Two others sat at his feet, massaging his toes.

She took a moment to enjoy the subjugation before her and rubbed her thighs together before clearing her throat. The moment her lover's eyes met hers he smiled wide, and she huskily declared, "Honey, I'm home."

"I can see that, Maze. Care to join us?" His voice was deeper, stronger, and the look he was leveling at her had the demoness weak in the knees.

"I would love to, Harry. Believe me." She eyed her still bouncing sister and licked her lips lasciviously. "But I'm here on official business. Our lord has need of you."

Harry's face grew serious and he grabbed his current partner's hips, driving her down, hard, one last time and tightening his face in a way that Mazikeen knew meant he was experiencing his own finish, he had not once broken eye contact with her. After a few more seconds to come back to himself completely he said, "Tell me everything."