When I came to, all I could see was ice.
As if declaring that world's age was one of ice, everything around me was covered in the deep blue rock.
The clouds above were dark and seemingly endless, and from them, a blizzard that covered the horizon buffeted me.
Whatever laid beyond the far horizon, whatever laid close to me, it was impossible for me to know.
The strong winds slammed against my body like a current that wished to take me away. A powerful force that seemed to deny my very existence, as if merely being alive was an afront to its existence.
—die
— —die
— — —die and be frozen
The malice of that headwind was almost tangible.
A power so strong, so haunting, it infected my veins and reached my brain, carrying a message of its icy desire.
My small knees buckled under the impossible weight.
My small body shivered in cold and horror.
My mind was frozen, and my heart was numb.
A state of shock so deep, it was no different from having accepted death.
Tears that had once flowed down from my eyes froze in my cheeks and burned my face, remains that stuck to my eyeballs seemed to turn solid and cover them in layers of ice.
The liquid inside my body too, froze over. The water inside my body, the blood circulating in my veins, it all became solid.
Alone in that frozen world, I was subsumed by the blizzard.
But at that time… I didn't care.
My body had grown so cold, my nerves numbed and stopped crying about pain; my mind stopped working, and memories about my family never came.
After a long, long time, I was finally in peace.
There was no second guessing, no seeking for approval, no fear of rejection. The clutches that kept me constrained for so long weren't there.
It was well and truly pathetic, thinking back on it.
What kind of idiot feels happy about such a meaningless and painful death?
Really, you could never accomplish anything, you could never find peace with your life, you could never reach a reality where you were happy.
That's why, the feelings I had at that time were wrong.
Having a feeling of peace at death freeing you from all that constrained you? That's nonsense. The only acceptable answer is outrage. Because you now know how happy you can be, you shouldn't take that small amount and die. You should live, live and seek to experience it at every living moment.
But…
What's done is done.
For once in such a long time, finally feeling at peace. A numbed body that could no longer report touch.
I closed my eyes, lulled by the calm sleepiness that seemed to overcome me.
Or at least… I would've.
"It's alright now." A mature woman's voice called out to me. It was warm and calm, affectionate like a kind mother.
Much like the coat that was draped over my body, her words seemed to envelop me in a comforting and warm embrace.
"The dragons of the Ice Barrier are no more." With words I didn't understand, with words that were stained by deep melancholy, she comforted me.
And… as if under the effect of magic, that coat began warming my frozen body.
"So… you don't have to worry anymore. I know you probably lost a lot, but it will be ok now. You don't have to resist the cold anymore."
It was a miracle, a complete coincidence.
That woman that found me while passing by. The me that managed to survive for so, so long under that snowstorm.
Those kind eyes of hers as she saved me from death. The calm yet roaring inferno inside me that kept me alive.
Her beautiful red hair. My filthy pink hair.
In that haze filled monochrome and frozen world, the abundance of warmth and colors was eternally etched into my mind.
"Ah—!"
I bolt upright in my bed.
My head hurts, and I can't help but feel distressed.
I feel like… I just had a terribly nostalgic dream.
But, for some reason, I can't remember for the life of me what it was all about.
"Ah… ah…."
My chest heaves up and down, and I can feel a disgusting layer of sweat sticking to my nightgown.
Turning my head and looking around, I see the clear sunlight streaming through the windows, a cold and faint breeze fluttering the soft shutters.
This big and expensively decorated room, with walls and floors of pristine white… this is my room , isn't it?
Yes, of course it is.
I remember it perfectly, the place I've lived in since I've been born, my room in the Vallière's manor. Although I now live in my quarters at the Academy, I've come here for a brief recess at the end of winter.
I shake my head clear of any thoughts that had consumed it. Whatever nightmare I've just had was well past, it would be uncouth to be affected by it.
After all, I am a daughter of the Vallière. The highest of nobility, and unlike commoners, I am meant to be capable of controlling my own emotions.
Given that a servant hasn't come to wake me yet, I suppose I have some time until breakfast.
Still, I should stick to my proper duty as a daughter and ready myself.
Shifting the covers and leaving my bed I realize something.
"Huh…?"
I bring a hand to my face and confirm it.
Why am I… crying?
Even though I don't feel sadness or pain, tears are still streaking down my face.
How pathetic. Is this all because of a simple nightmare I can't even remember?
I wipe these annoyances clear out of my face and get up.
This is one of the few days I have in my house, I must be at the best of my behavior and impress mother.
Collecting a dress that had already been selected by the servants the previous day, I dress up.
It's a pink and frilly dress, elegant and suitable for a noble of my stature. I must commend the servant that chose it.
Finally ready, I leave my room and begin the day.
"Ah!"
However, as I opened the door, a maid rudely interrupts my passage.
"Young Lady, I apologize for the tardiness!" As if she was caught committing a sin, she bows deeply. "I had no idea you wished to wake earlier."
Well, at least she knows her place.
"Has breakfast already been served?"
She looks at me with some apprehension before answering. "No, my Lady. Preparations are still underway; His Grace, the Duke, and Her Grace, the Duchess, await at the table."
I nod in response. "Very well, then, think nothing of it. I woke on my own whims, after all."
Closing the door behind me, I walk past the maid.
Maybe I should've reprimanded her, she herself was aware of her failure at both being there when I woke up, and being aware of the time I wished to wake. However… it feels like an overreaction to reprimand her over such a small mistake.
Taking the correct posture, I make sure my every step is filled with the elegance befitting of a Vallière.
The halls are filled with windows streaming with the sunlight from above, the ground is paved with a magnificent carpet that extends its entire length, and it is all decorated with all manners of flowers and artworks.
Faintly on the distance, I can hear the noise of singing birds.
How quaint, this scenario… makes me quite at ease.
"Ah, please wait, Young Lady!"
Finally breaking from whatever spell kept her frozen in front of my room's door, the maid from before calls out to me and approaches, taking pace but two steps behind me.
Finally by my side again, she continues to speak with me.
"Young Lady, if I could ask, who was it that aided you in changing?" As if trying to ascertain the actions of every maid in the manor, she asks me such a question.
"No one. I changed into this dress myself." Normally, I would've commanded a servant to dress me, however, I simply wanted to get dressed, waiting for someone didn't even cross my mind.
"The Young Lady did it herself…?" The maid mumbles.
Indeed, it was rather troublesome when it came to the back, but it wasn't anything impossible.
Surely, it would've been easier with a servant's aid, but there was no need to depend on her…
"Ah…"
Now that I think about it, this maid… what was her name again?
A few days ago, when I came back, she was assigned as my personal maid, wasn't she? I'm sure I was told then.
"Is there an issue, Young Lady?" Apparently spurn on by my muttering, she proceeds with her duty.
"No, it is nothing."
Quickly brushing her off, I hurry towards my destination.
Perhaps because I spent an entire year in the academy, I have to carefully think about where I am going and what I'm doing, else I get lost in my way.
Finally reaching the doors that lead to the dining room, I walk inside.
Walking inside I am greeted by the luxurious table and utensils—
For an instant, my heart stops.
It isn't a mere lack of feeling, for a brief instant, my entire body ceases function.
When vision comes back, it is hard to take it all at once, my ears are ringing, and I feel weakness at my legs.
Why is that? I did nothing different than usual yesterday, and I did nothing wrong today.
So why is it… that I'm acting like this?
On the far end of the table, just like always, my parents were sitting, and on the side, she, my sister, Cattleya was also there.
Ba-dump
Nothing was different.
Nothing was different, but… whenever I looked at them, my heartbeats thundered in my ears.
I approach them with the same gracious steps I had before, the same I used to get to that room.
Noticing my approach, my older sister turns around and greets me with her ever kind smile. "Ah, Louise, how goes your mor— Ah!"
Ah… It seems… I hugged her.
"Louise…?"
She squirms a little under my embrace, but it can't be helped. The instant I heard her voice, my mind forfeited control and I hugged her with all my strength.
That's why, even if she calls out to me, it's meaningless.
I tighten my embrace on her, longing bursting from my chest.
Why am I doing this? I saw her yesterday, I saw her the day before that, and the one before that.
That's why... I am so confused by this feeling… as if I missed my sister so very much.
After a moment, I feel a warm set of arms embracing me back.
Ah… that's why I love Cattleya, so generous, so kind.
"Louise, that is uncouth of a Lady, behave yourself!"
And, breaking that single moment, my mother's sharp voice cuts it through.
But… that's fine.
I separate from Cattleya, and take a step back.
Gazing into my mother and father, I speak with a curtsy. "Good morning, mother, father." And a smile blossoms in my face.
Breakfast was an awkward affair.
It began with me suddenly embracing Cattleya and getting my mother in a bad mood. It's not like it isn't understandable, such brash actions are uncouth for a noble daughter of my standing.
Still, it seemed like she got mad at my every action.
Even though I perfectly followed the rules of etiquette I was taught my entire life, even though I only answered with what was necessary, everything seemed to get mother in an even fouler mood.
I don't know what it was that annoyed mother, but I will remedy it. I am a daughter of the Vallière, and any failure on my part will reflect poorly on my family.
Still…
"Ah… Damnit, what even is this feeling?" I am mad, clenching my teeth.
Whenever I think back towards the way she talked to me, I get unreasonably mad.
I shouldn't, I know mother is right, she always is, but… it can't be helped, her every word during breakfast, it all seems to annoy me so much.
Of course, I know this is petty, but I can't help but feel annoyed at my own emotions, as well.
Either ignoring or unaware of my mutterings, the maid that was assigned to me keeps following right behind, not a single word or movement out of place.
Her behavior is truly befitting of one serving a Vellière.
Of course, however, I can't allow myself to be outdone by a mere commoner. When faced with such stark discipline, I make sure my walk is up to standard and just as full of elegance as one would expect.
I focus my thoughts on what really matters.
Right now, I am on a recess from school, even if only for a few days. Having the entire day free of responsibilities, I should probably go check on my sister.
Even though I've been back for a few days, I've yet to share a proper conversation with her. Besides, I need some positive interactions after today's breakfast.
With that decision in mind, I make way to her room.
If I remember correctly, it should be located in the second floor at the left wing, only a few rooms away from mine.
Although… even if I know all that, it doesn't make navigating the manor any easier.
I have to constantly stop and take note of where I am so I know where to go next.
It is annoying that it takes as long as it does, but I eventually get to her room.
After staring at the door to her room for a few moments—
Knock knock
I gently rasp my knuckles against the door.
"Ah, just a moment, please."
It barely takes more than a few seconds for the meek answer to come.
Hearing her voice, I can't help but to smile. I've spent far too long away from my sister, and hearing her voice again is great.
After a few moments of waiting, I finally hear her approaching footsteps.
"Ah, Louise!"
As soon as she opens the door and realizes who it was that called her, a smile blossoms on her face.
"Welcome! What can I help you with?" As if in a complete contrast to our mother, her disposition is cheerful and puts a spring on the step of all that gaze upon it.
"Good afternoon, Cattleya. Would you be interested in some tea?"
She seems to like the offer, because her smile turns even brighter. "Of course! I was just having some, so please come in!"
Opening the door wider, she invites me to enter without restriction.
But, before I do. "I will enjoy some conversation with my sister, you can go back to your duties, now." I turn to the maid behind me, whose name I still can't remember, and utter some small orders.
She bows. "As you wish, Young Lady." And leaves.
Finally alone, I enter my older sister's bedroom.
It is… just like I remember.
Although it is big and full of furniture, there's some sort of warmth to it. It makes me feel welcome in here.
I walk over to the small table by the window, where a small teapot and a few cups rested, and take a seat in one of the chairs by it.
"So many cups, were you expecting visits, Cattleya?"
"Ah, no, no." She waves my doubt aside. "Those are for the maids. You see, after you left for the academy, it got pretty lonely, so I have tea with them, when I can."
"Ah… is that so?" I hang my head in shame.
My sister has been afflicted by a strong disease for a very long time now. Because of that, she was never able to go to the magical academy, or find any prospect marriages; rarely does she ever spend much time outside of her room, and rarely is she able to be around others.
And I… left her alone.
"Ah, but don't worry about it, the maids give me enough company, and mother is always checking in on me, so it really isn't that bad!" As if to amend some previous statement, she hurriedly spoke those words.
I sigh. "As long as you're happy with it."
She nods in agreement, before taking the teapot into her hands and serving me tea.
"But, I can't help but wonder, how has your time in the academy been? Have you made any friends in there?"
"The academy?"
Tristain's Magic Academy is one of the most prestigious education institutes in all Halkengia. Its instructors are all top notch, and the infrastructure is great in all senses of the word.
Yes, that's right… if one is talking about a place to apply themselves, there is no better option.
But—
"It is filled with ruffians." I huff. "From lowborn nobles who feel much too empowered by mere academic might, to barbarians like a germanian."
"Ah… is that so?" She seemed taken aback, if not a bit wistful. "I thought you'd have fun studying there."
"I can't say anything about it being fun, however, it is my duty as a daughter of the Vallière. If applying myself will better our standing, I will do it without hesitation."
"Is that so? Little Louise has really grown up, hasn't she?" She smiles like a proud mother.
I feel a bit itchy inside.
Because, although I said that… the truth is that I am merely going there for my own benefit.
Nobles carry within them the blood of Brimmir, and therefore carry the divine right to wield magic. It isn't an exaggeration to say that a noble that can't cast magic isn't a noble at all.
Yet, I, a daughter of the Vallière, one of the most prestigious noble houses… have yet to cast a single spell correctly.
Choosing to go there… no, begging my mother to allow me attendance was something I did out of self-interest. My own shame, my own desire.
I want to be able to use magic, to prove myself worthy, to show I have more value than nothing.
I wonder, did my sister not comment on my inability out of kindness?
If so, I am thankful, after all, I would go mad if anyone else called me 'Zero'.
My sister takes a sip of her tea. "Now that your second year is beginning, you are wont to summon a familiar, are you not?" She smiles goofily. "I wonder if it will be cute."
"A familiar, huh…?"
Familiar, a magic bound companion that follows a mage through their entire life. Whether to aid in material collection, transportation, combat, or any other walk of life, they are a cornerstone of our lives.
The summoning ritual is something that has existed ever since Brimmir, a spell that has never been recorded to fail, not once.
If I succeed in it, I am proving once and for all I am indeed a noble, however, if I fail…
… that doesn't matter. Because I won't.
I will achieve it, and obtain my own familiar… a magical beast.
It will be by my side, fighting by my side, aiding me.
A magical beast that will connect with me.
—Working side by side
— —With a magical beast
— — —By each other's side, even as our world collapses
"Louise?"
"Ah—"
My sister's worried voice brings me back to reality.
My fingers had clenched so strongly against the porcelain of the tea cup, it almost cracked.
What… just happened?
I… why did I get so mad?
"Sorry, Cattleya, I just remembered some upsetting stuff, but it's alright, now."
"Are you sure…?" Her worry is tangible. "I can hear your worries, if you would like."
What a bad sister I am, worrying Cattleya like that.
"It's nothing to worry about, really, and like I said, it's already done and gone."
She nods, still apprehensive.
Suddenly hugging her during breakfast, and now this outburst. It makes sense she's still worried.
I look away, trying to catch any topic that might change the conversation.
"Snow has melted early this year, hasn't it?"
The sudden change seems to bring her completely back to happiness. "It really did. Though, I am a bit saddened by it. I enjoy seeing the landscape covered in snow."
Even though it is still winter, only luscious greenery can be seen. Some faint cold still wafts through the air, however.
This is also why I only have a single week of recess.
Normally, nobles would have up to three weeks to mingle in the high circles, and deal with the politics and duties of their positions, however, since they are considering spring to have 'arrived early', they are cutting that time off and bringing us back to our studies.
This is especially important for second year students like me, since it is the time for the sacred ritual to be had.
"I hate it. It gets all over the place and makes walking around harder."
I try to take a sip of my tea, but I realize it's already empty.
My sister giggles. "Yeah, that sounds like you."
Carefully, my sister refills my cup of tea.
Now that I think about it, the aroma is quite exquisite, and the taste is different from the normal tea drank around the house.
"This is delicious. What are the leaves being used here, Cattleya?"
"Ah, these? Well…" Her voice slowly trails off until it becomes an incoherent mutter.
Suddenly, as if trying to hide it all, she laughs loudly and awkwardly. "Well, these are just delicious leaves, aren't they?"
… this is ridiculous, I can feel the nervousness in her voice.
Although it makes me glad, my sister can't lie to save her life.
"Cattleya."
"Uh… Ah! Okay I will tell, just don't look at me like that!" She says that while hiding under her hands, either from embarrassment, or worry, or fear I don't know.
"Well then, you are not getting involved in anything dangerous, are you?" Without even realizing, I begin scolding her.
"No, no! Nothing like that! It's just…" She begins fidgeting, and her voice slowly drops down to a mutter again, but I fix it with a glare. "Ah, it's just that one of the maids… sometimes she goes out to town to get some things or visit her family, and she buys the leaves from… a shady merchant from the east…"
"WHAT?!" My voice ends up coming a few pitches higher than I wanted, but at this point I don't care. "Those could be poisoned! How can you simply drink something like that!"
"No, no! I trust her, she wouldn't poison the tea… and, uh… she drinks it herself!" Stumbling in her words and clearly too bashful for her own good, Cattleya tries to defend the maid.
But, unfortunately for her, that doesn't begin to account for half the problems I have with this.
"But what about the merchant? How do you know he isn't trying to poison you and her? Did you run a background check on him, check these for poison, seen his face or current state of affairs?"
"No… no but…"
"No buts! What if something happened to you? What would I do?"
"Uh…"
"You have to promise me you'll be more careful from now on, okay?"
Unable to stand up and refuse, she nods meekly. "Hmmm."
Satisfied, I go back to drinking from that exact same tea.
In the first place, if Cattleya, her maids, and I drank so much of this tea, and haven't died, then this batch, at the very least, isn't poisoned… or we're already all doomed. In any case, I might as well drink it.
In second place…
Wait, what was it? I've already forgotten.
I don't pursue the subject, it's not like I need more than the first reason, and if I forgot, it mustn't be important.
"I was trying to hide this from mother because I knew this would've been her reaction, but I guess it was all for nothing."
"Mother, huh…" I wonder… "talking about her, do you have any idea why she was so mad at me during breakfast, Cattleya?"
"Uh… why? No… although, she didn't seem all too different from usual." Putting a hand to her chin, she begins to think about it.
"…"
I cover a smile with a sip of my tea; my sister is just too cute.
"I am quite sure something was bothering her. I know her scolding, today was much harsher than usual."
"Well, I didn't notice anything like that, but… maybe…"
Realizing she is going to drop down into a mutter, I inch her on to speak.
"Ah, well, it's what I wanted to say earlier." She looks at me with a fond smile. "You are acting quite more similar to mother."
"Eh…? More similar? In what sense?"
"Ah, I don't know, it's hard to tell, but… when I talk to you now, and even back during breakfast, you most certainly act more like her." She takes a sip of her tea. "I thought it was because of you time at the academy, but hearing of your thoughts on it, I'm not so sure anymore. But… maybe it's because of that that she's mad?"
"More like her…?"
I don't understand, as far as I am aware, outside of some weird mood shifts today, I am just the same as I've always been.
"But why would she be mad? She is a well and true proper lady, shouldn't me being more like her be something that makes her glad?"
"There's a lot of things I don't understand about mother myself, this might just be one of those things."
"I see."
But in the end, that's just a theory.
I have no certain reason as to why she was mad.
And, if I can trust Cattleya's judgment, she might not even have been as mad as I believe her to be.
Though, more than anything else, I also have no idea as to why I was so mad at her anger. I am more mature than that, surely, I wouldn't be that angry just because my behavior was rightfully judged.
Through the rest of the morning, under the light of the morning sun, I exchange meaningless conversation with Cattleya.
Dusk arises in the horizon, only faint traces of light coming in through my window.
Tomorrow will be my last day before going back to the academy. Even though two days remain, I have to dedicate an entire one to go there, just as I dedicated one to come here.
Still, it would be meaningless to feel any sadness about it. This was the path I chose, so having regrets is not allowed.
I feel some manner of nervousness over the ritual that's to come, but I will get over it.
Flipping through the pages of the book I am reading, I try to grasp at the magical theory.
Even though this time was meant for me to rest from academic studies, and focus on my noble duties, I cannot let myself go by without this effort.
Because all my spells end in explosions, or in a better term, a rebound of the energy being put into them, I must study as hard as I can to make up for it.
Surely, there must be some step of the process I am failing at, some mechanism that's still meant to be optimized.
I use my thumb to flip through more pages of the book, glancing at the symbols and writings, the designs of the circles, the theories and notes behind it all.
My free hand clenches and unclenches, longing for something to take notes with.
Still, I keep this endeavor solely to light and cursory reading. After all, this book is merely a peer review of well-established theories. While it can be interesting, the very reason I picked it up was because I wanted an easier reading.
My thumb flips over another page with the grace expected of someone in my standing, and another plethora of paragraphs and notes come into view.
I moisten my lips with my tongue.
The tea I had ordered ended almost half an hour ago.
My throat is dry.
I glance at the tea cup laying on the table in front of me.
Only faint traces of the drink remain.
These are the same leaves that Cattleya had used in her tea. The novel leaves from a shady, unknown merchant of the east.
There is no reason to worry, I trust my sister. She said she would take care and be sure everything was fine.
I trust my sister. I can just smile and relax knowing everything would be fine now.
That's why, I shouldn't even think about the subject, it is done now. I trust my sister will do the right thing if it turns out to be dangerous.
Besides, she's the older one. If anything, she should be the responsible one here. So, that's why, I trust my sister.
"…"
But… the knot on my stomach won't disappear.
What if she's being tricked by the maid or the merchant? She is kind and trusting, it would be too easy.
What if she doesn't check things deeply enough because she thinks it will be fine?
I can't control the outcome of any of these things, I am still a young third daughter. But what if something happens to my sister while I am not looking? I can't fail like that.
But… even if I can't do it myself…
I snap the book on my hand closed, bringing the attention of the maid that has been attending to me.
"Have you finished your readings for today, Young Lady?"
With a controlled tone, she offers her services.
I nod, not bothering to look directly at her.
"I'll need you to arrange me a meeting with my father tomorrow. Make sure he will receive me at his office."
I lay down my book and relay my orders.
I don't know why mother is annoyed at me, but I can be sure that she is, her behavior at lunch and dinner confirming my beliefs.
Because of that, I cannot have certainty she'll listen to or work with me to the extent I need.
My father however, is a different story.
Duke La Vallière. He is calm and collected, a wise man. Someone who has always been kind and cared for me.
I know I can trust him to help.
Even if he ends up dealing with me the same way he deals with other nobles, he will still listen and know what to do.
"Also, I need to write a few notes down, so fetch me some writing material."
"Understood." Without a single moment of hesitation, she acknowledges her orders. "Will that be all, Young Lady?"
"No, I wish for a bath. Be sure to prepare one for me."
"As you wish, Young Lady."
With that, the maid whose name I still can't recall leaves.
I cross my legs and wait.
After a few minutes, that same servant comes back to tell me that my bath was ready.
I stand up, and head towards my warm bath.
I come back to my room.
The water was warm and clear, perfect for soothing my nerves.
I sigh.
Maybe I was getting ahead of myself when I ordered that meeting to be arranged with father.
I just feel so worried for some reason.
A reason that remains a complete mystery for me.
I could always trust Cattleya, I could always look forward to safety. But all of a sudden, it's like this growing unease is controlling my mind.
"…"
I've already dispensed the servant and donned my nightgown.
The moons are high in the sky, coloring the world in red and blue.
I should probably go to sleep, it isn't healthy to stay away late into the night, especially not for a student.
"…"
I lay my head down on the pillow and close my eyes.
— — —I can't sleep.
No matter how hard I try to fall into unconsciousness, my mind can't stop wavering and wondering.
About my fear for Cattleya's safety. About my emotions. About mother's behavior.
Tomorrow must arrive as soon as possible, so I can talk to father and hear him tell me it is just meaningless worry. For him to tell me that there was no way anyone that dangerous would be able to inhabit a town so close to Vallière manor, much less contact one of its servants.
Even then, I still can't fall into a deep sleep.
I'm mad, I am really mad.
I want to throw a pillow into the wall and scream.
This frustration is killing me.
— —Maybe I'll read a novel.
Cattleya did mention a few she was reading, during our conversation in her room.
It's been a while since I read one. Even if it's a boring story, maybe it's what I need to relax, from both the academy and these thoughts.
. . .
What would you do, if I died?
"What kind of question is that? I would cry, of course. And I would miss you a lot."
Anyone could die at any moment, and I am no different. So, I was curious about everything that would come after that.
Because the situation where this actually happens is more than just a nightmare.
"… but it hasn't happened yet. You should keep a smile, you know? As long as we don't stop trying, things might always turn around for the better."
Always the optimist, aren't you?
In that case, I will trust you.
I don't want the people I care about, the things I care about, dying off before me. So, I guess I'll have to trust you all with this responsibility called living.
"Hey… if I died, what would you do?"
What kind of question is that?! I thought you disliked this kind of thought! Besides, I've just told you, I don't want the people I care about dying before me, not even in thought.
"Well, you asked and now I'm curious! Besides, I want to at least have this closure, if I do die…"
Fine… well… I guess I would go mad.
There's not much else to it. Because I simply can't envision a future where you're dead.
So, I will try my best to make sure you live.
"Please don't go mad, there's no way I'll have a peaceful death with this knowledge!"
You asked for it!
Besides, if you feel like that, then just don't die!
"Jeez, we've known each other for a little more than a decade, and this is how you treat me. Talk about heartless."
I told you, didn't I? It's because I dislike thinking about it.
"… Hey, do you think Avance would miss us if we died?"
And you're not stopping with the questions?!
"Well, it's not about you being left alone anymore…"
I swear…
Well, to answer your question, he would surely lose his mind if you died. Me? I'm not so sure.
"Oh please, he is always grumpy around you, and always pretends not to care. Which means he would be devastated if you died."
… I guess, I would also miss him a lot if he did die. I've known him for as long as I've known you, after all.
… and if you ask me about dying, again, I'll really get mad!
"Geez, if you can't deal with the topic, then don't bring it up in the first place!"
Ahhrgh! Enough with this! If you can spend this much time thinking about consequences of death, spend it thinking about how not to die!
"Well, if you ask me like that, I guess I just might~"
You better.
"Relax okay? I've already told you, as long as we keep giving it our best, I'm sure things will turn out okay."
Is that why you never gave up, even when it was clear you just keep failing the rituals?
"Yeah! Even if mother is disappointed at me, and we don't get along great because of that, I will keep giving it my best!"
Just keep on trying like that, then, please.
"I will."
Ahhh, so it begins.
For those that haven't got it just yet, yes we will be following some good old Duel Terminal lore. So no fancy cards and duel disks.
Although, as you can see here, things are not as clear as one might think, even if you know both DT lore and FoZ lore. Don't worry, the status quo is still somewhat similar to what you would expect from canon... for now.
See ya next chapter.
