AN: Everyone knows I don't own Star Wars, but it's a habit to keep saying it. Well, what do you do when you've finished an eighty-one-chapter fic that took over two years to write? You start a sequel, of course - but this story DEFINITELY won't be as long as the last one.

"Life as a Dyad"

By EsmeAmelia

Chapter 1

"I did want to take your hand. Rey's hand."

The violent shivers that went through Ren's body had nothing to do with the freezing water drenching her skin and clothes. She stared ahead at the scavenger boy running away from her as if he already regretted healing her. Maybe he did. Of course he did. Maybe he only healed her out of pity because Leia was dead.

Leia . . . Mom, she forced herself to think the word even though doing so felt like another lightsaber stab. Mom had called out through the Force to her daughter, sending so much love and giving her life in the process even though her daughter wasn't worth sacrificing for. Mom was dead and Dad was dead and Ben was . . . gone. Stealing her TIE Fighter, no less. Well fine, let him have it - it wasn't like Ren was going back to the First Order any time soon. Let them think their Supreme Leader was dead.

Still she shivered and stared, watching the TIE disappear into the sky, taking with it the only person left in the galaxy who might possibly care for her, and even that was a feeble hope.

"I did want to take your hand. Rey's hand."

Her heart raced. Ben did want her hand - and yet he didn't. He wanted a phantom's hand. The same phantom Mom and Dad had died for. The exposed skin where Ben had stabbed her and then healed her felt cold, as if it were aching for his touch.

She kept staring even though the TIE was long out of sight, as if staring long enough would summon it back. The freezing water kept splashing over the side of the wreckage, drenching her further as questions ran through her mind.

Where would she go now?

What would she do?

Who was she now?

. . .

Leia was dead.

Ben had almost killed Leia's daughter.

Those two thoughts raced through Ben's mind as he took off, not daring to look back. Leia was dead, he'd almost killed Leia's daughter, Leia was dead, he'd almost killed Leia's daughter, Leia was dead, he'd almost killed Leia's daughter, Leia was dead, he'd almost killed Leia's daughter!

Rey . . .

He blinked away tears, fiercely willing himself not to turn back, trying not to imagine himself embracing her. The vision he'd seen of himself on the Sith throne, himself as a Sith, the triumph he'd felt when he impaled Rey with her own lightsaber . . . it was all proof that the darkness inside him was too powerful. He couldn't trust himself anymore.

He had to leave.

. . .

Both halves of the dyad woke at the same time as they usually did when they swapped memories in their dreams. They both breathed, blinked at each other in the darkness, taking a few moments to remember their true identities. Those few moments after waking, when neither one quite remembered who they were, still made both their hearts race and brought a bit of lightheadedness.

Even after twenty years.

He closed his eyes, breathing in, breathing out. Ben . . . he was Ben. The woman lying next to him - except she wasn't actually next to him since the Force had linked them - she was Rey, the other half of the dyad, the one who had saved him many years ago.

His wife.

After another deep breath, he opened his eyes, seeing his wife glowing red from the prison cell's forcefield. Though she'd gained weight in the years since the memory in the dream actually happened and wrinkles were starting to pull at her face, she was still as beautiful as ever. She reached over and brushed her hand over his cheek, tempting him to close his eyes once again and absorb the tender touch of her callused hand.

"Are you all right?" she whispered.

"Well, I just dreamed that I was you and it was right after Mom died, but other than that I'm okay." Ben tried to ignore how his stomach was still jumping even though they were awake.

"I'm not talking about the dream," said Rey, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "You're afraid, I can feel it."

"Why would I be afraid?"

"Ben," she said in her no-nonsense voice, "you know perfectly well that we can't hide our feelings from each other." Her hand cradled the back of his neck as she stared into his eyes. "Now tell me, what's bothering you?"

Ben felt his lips start to tremble. "Rey, I . . ." He trailed off, instead fumbling for her free hand and raising it to his lips, kissing her knuckles as if trying to distract himself.

"Is it about getting out of prison?" she asked in a small, comforting voice.

His heart jumped. "Why . . . why would I be afraid of that? I've been in here for over twenty damn years - no sane person would be afraid of getting out!"

"That might be exactly why you'd be afraid," said Rey, staring into his eyes once again. "Even back on Jakku, when I was counting the days since my parents left and I was hoping every day that they'd come back, I still got nervous at the thought of it actually happening." She planted her own kiss on his hand. "Change can be scary, even change you've been longing for for years."

Ben rolled to his back, letting his wife's hand slip off his head. "But I shouldn't be afraid of it. I mean, look at us - we've been married almost twenty years but we've never actually lived together! I spent Gavin's entire childhood in prison!" He felt a lump forming in his throat at the mention of their adopted son. "Gavin, is he doing all right since he moved out?"

"I think so. He calls me almost every day - he says his roommates are nice, but he's still getting used to not having me around all the time." Again she reached over and caressed his cheek. "I think he also misses being able to talk to you when the Force links us, but we'll both be there to take you home when you get out."

"Home . . ." Ben repeated. "You know, I've never actually seen your apartment."

He heard Rey swallow as she squeezed his shoulder. "Well, you'll get to see it in two days and you'll love it. Think of it, in two days we can live together like a normal married couple."

"Normal . . . except that we've never been normal."

There was a slight smile on Rey's face. "Well, you're definitely right there, and it won't be easy for any of us." She leaned over and kissed his forehead. "But Gavin and I will be there for you and we'll all get through this together."

Ben let out a sigh through his nose, wrapping his arm around his wife and kissing her lips, savoring her familiar taste, wishing they were in the same space and he didn't have to worry about her disappearing at any moment. Two days. Two days and they'd be together for real.

Together . . . but then what?