Honolulu, Oahu, Hawaii
15 July 1970
The room was warm, uncomfortably warm.
Summer in Dallas was always warm, but this was different, she couldn't put her finger on how, but she knew it was.
Reaching out, failing to find the cord for the fan beside her bed, she gave in and opened her eyes, a surprisingly difficult task in her sleepy state.
"Welcome back."
Turning her head towards the sound, nothing much made sense.
"Back where?"
"You're in recovery. The procedure was successful. All you need to do now is rest."
Understanding very little of what had just been said, she didn't have the energy to analyse it. Rest sounded good. She should rest.
Dallas, Texas
"JR?"
"Huh?"
Turning his head to look at his wife, JR's thoughts were a million miles away, or more specifically, 3700 miles away.
There was a five-hour time difference between Honolulu and Dallas. If it wasn't already over it would be soon.
"I asked whether you were free for lunch tomorrow? I could come into town."
Approaching him, Sue Ellen's wide eyes were youthful and full of love.
"I…"
He ought to say yes for the sake of their marriage, she adored him and wanted to spend time with him, unfortunately though, the word 'yes' didn't come so easily.
"I'll need to check my schedule."
Sue Ellen's expression and behaviour indicated total devotion to him and their marriage and his inability to reciprocate made him feel ill. Just five months earlier, they'd said vows in front of hundreds of family and friends, vows Sue Ellen had clearly meant, and he'd thought he had too, but he'd failed miserably at committing to.
"I could call in the morning. Julie will be able to check your agenda."
Hearing the other woman's name, his stomach lurched.
"Susan."
"Hm?"
"Susan is my secretary."
Correcting her, he didn't know why he bothered, it didn't really matter and prolonged the topic of conversation longer than was comfortable.
"Since when?"
"Since she started Susan has been my secretary. Julie is daddy's secretary."
"I'll call and ask Susan then."
Shrugging, Sue Ellen's casual acceptance told him she knew nothing of his betrayal.
Nodding, he attempted to act equally casual however, his unsettled stomach made it difficult.
Julie was off work for the next week, there was no chance of Sue Ellen phoning or showing up at the office and his precarious house of cards collapsing, but that wasn't the point.
"Are you feeling ok?"
Laying a hand on his forehead, Sue Ellen's concerned kindness was undeserved.
"It's been a long day."
It had been a long day, but it hadn't been business that had been keeping his mind going.
"I was going to suggest we go to bed early."
"You don't have to on my account."
He wouldn't be able to sleep whether they turned in hours before usual, on time, or even late. His anxiety wouldn't dissipate until he heard confirmation himself and he didn't know when his guilty conscience would settle.
He'd done a lot of questionable things in his lifetime, his relationship and subsequent marriage to Sue Ellen no barrier to certain behaviours, but he'd never been caught in a bind quite like that which had cropped up in the last week.
"I actually had something else in mind, but if you're not well we don't have to."
Wrapping her arms around his neck, Sue Ellen leaned in to whisper the words in his ear.
"I…"
Speechless again, this time it was because the ill feeling threatened to present itself to her, the burning in his throat leaving him with no doubt about that.
"You really don't look well. Why don't you lie down? I'll tell your mama and daddy you won't be joining them for the evening."
Shaking his head, he breathed through his sickly state. He had to present as normal. He couldn't raise suspicions.
"I'm fine. I'll just change and we can go down in a couple of minutes."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
Nodding, he leaned down and kissed her, attempting again to act normal.
Julie wasn't stupid. She'd agreed to do what had to be done and he had to trust that it had been done. As far as the crisis went, the worst was over. He had a guilty conscience but that was the extent of the problem, or it would be once the day was over.
"We'll still go to bed early. Just to sleep."
Kissing him back, Sue Ellen took his hand and led him across the room, directing him to the bathroom while she headed over to the closet, performing her wifely task of choosing a dinner outfit for him, not because he was incapable, just because she wanted to.
Closing the bathroom door behind him, he looked at himself in the mirror. He needed to get a grip. Sue Ellen didn't suspect anything but she would if he continued to behave skittishly.
