A/N: This chapter took longer to edit than I thought it would. The later chapters are generally less polished since I haven't gone through them as many times as the earlier ones. I'm currently working on getting Chapter 17 written, and it should hopefully be finished by the time we get there. From now on I'll post as soon as a chapter is deemed ready by yours truly. Below is the answer to a question no one asked.
All descriptions of Hogwarts are loosely based on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix game on the PlayStation 2. I never got a clear mental image of the castle's layout in any sort of detail during any of my readings of the books. I could take copious notes from wiki articles and a close reading of the series, but that would require effort, and that just isn't the vibe for 2022 in my humble opinion. I also have a severe vision impairment so the movies never did much to help me figure out where everything was. Consequently, such descriptions will be kept to a minimum in the story.
When I was younger, I could just see enough to play this particular game, and put so much time into it that I'm pretty sure I have the castle memorised enough to write about it generally. However, I am unsure of minute details, like ornate designs or statue subjects because I can't make them out, so I will either omit or fabricate them. I said I was going to make these rambles shorter. Oops. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter Eleven: Confrontation
Saturday, May 9, 1998: Early Afternoon
Aed stepped out into the Entrance Hall courtyard, the sun looking down at her as it shone overhead in a sea of cloudless blue. She gazed around at the ornate wooden benches and large hunks of rough stone that lined its perimeter, imagining the dozens of schoolchildren who would have sat around chatting between classes. The ostentatious fountain which dominated the courtyard's centre looked far better than it had less than a week before. The restoration effort was clearly going quite well.
Though she could not assist on the magical side of things, Aed did her best to be useful. She cleaned up after herself, passed on messages, and provided moral support for those who had lost loved ones. These tasks had taken up most of her time, and the rest of it was spent exploring the massive structure in which she now resided. Some wizard or witch who wasn't busy always went with her, both because they enjoyed her company and didn't want her getting lost.
She was not told this specifically, but Aed doubted that she would be allowed to leave any time soon. She knew too much of the castle and those within it, whether they were currently living there or simply visiting, and of magic in general. Ministry officials had introduced themselves to her with their English names and verbose titles, and it took all her self control to keep a straight face. She was learning a great deal about how their government worked. Or rather, how it didn't. That was the impression she got anyway. Aed did not bother to explain that she had kept magic a secret for decades already, or that she harboured no particular affection for wizardkind, because neither would make the least bit of difference.
Everyone knew she was a Squib, but they treated Aed like she was only a Muggle. Ignorant to the traditions and secrets of their kind, unable to guard the information as they could. Though she may not be able to use magic, and though she had been married to a Muggle for fourteen years, that didn't invalidate the magical happenings that were commonplace while she lived at home. But there was so much she didn't know or understand, and knowledge could be dangerous. So perhaps it was better to keep out of the important discussions and stay put. All she knew was that the Statute of Secrecy must be upheld at all costs. Because…
Well, that wasn't important. It was far from her place to have an opinion on such matters. She was no witch, a fact her parents had never allowed her to forget in the fifteen years she spent living under their roof. She had never done so much as an illumination charm in her life, not even able to produce sparks from a wand tip. They had all found her magical ineptitude endlessly entertaining, forcing her to repeat silly wrist movements and incantations to no effect. No, it would definitely be best for her to stay out of the way and keep her mouth shut. Even if all the secrecy made no sense to her, even if magic could damn near solve all the world's problems. But that was no battle for a Squib to be inserting herself into.
It was nice here. Better than the little farmhouse she shared with Cailean anyway. She was hardly having an unpleasant time. Truthfully, she had never experienced such joy and wonder in all her life. Seeing magic on this scale was far beyond anything her family had ever managed, and observing it being done by people she liked made the whole thing that much better. There was also a comforting serenity about the whole place. She was no stranger to nature, but the grounds were so pure as to exist beyond reality. Sprawling fields of the greenest grass and a forest that went on forever. It was unbelievable to simply be here amongst such verdant surroundings, and she was finally beginning to learn about everything her family had kept from her.
Aed didn't mind it at Hogwarts. Not at all. In fact, it was the most beautiful and dynamic place she had ever seen, more extraordinary than the images her wildest fantasies could have ever conjured up. Once she left the castle, there would be no coming back. She had to enjoy it while she could, and nothing was going to stop her from achieving just that. But there was always so much to be done that she rarely had the time to wander around and take everything in. Not since the tour Harry and Hermione had given her on that first day anyway. The wonders of the castle and its grounds were infinite, the ancient magic constantly shifting things about and highlighting new oddities and breathtaking experiences.
Today, however, she had been rewarded with a day off due to her consistent hard work. After receiving the good news from an exhausted-looking Hermione, a wide smile had formed and refused to fall from her face as she skipped out of the Great Hall. She spared a glance for the grieving families who were taking their time with lunch, along with everyone else who was currently staying at the castle, but it was time to start thinking about herself for once. The four long tables were nearly at capacity, but the place never felt too crowded. There was always someone, usually George, telling a joke or sharing an amusing anecdote, or a person who needed her help. She loved being useful to the magical folk, but it felt good to finally be alone with her thoughts.
Lunch that day had been a hearty meal. Though morale was still low, most people were starting to enjoy themselves again. Aed had been sitting in her usual spot with Hermione and her friends, and Arthur Weasley was telling them all about some trial that had taken place the previous day. The conversation had made little sense to her. They may as well have been speaking a different language for how much she had understood. Harry, who was usually more than happy to fill her in on things like that, took his meals in the Gryffindor common room, and she didn't want to interrupt the flow of their talk with her stupid questions.
Their rate of work had slowed considerably since those first days. With the castle's repairs almost completed, most of the magical folk were spending their newly-acquired free time relaxing indoors. They were quickly becoming her friends and she would miss their company today, but knew that she'd be with them again tomorrow. They didn't need her right now, and it was nice to just enjoy the fine weather.
Something soft rubbed against her legs. The woman looked down to see a bandy-legged cat looking up at her with yellow eyes that held far more intelligence than an old cat ought to have. She wondered if the little guy was in fact magical, or enhanced in some way. It would not have surprised her if that was indeed the case. This world was confusing and unpredictable. She had given up trying to understand it years ago. Magic went beyond even her imagination, concepts and creatures that left her mundane mind in a state of profound bafflement. Magic lurked around every corner, and she was quickly learning that nothing was as it seemed.
Aed knelt down and scratched behind the cat's ears, speaking to him in the melodic tone she took up with animals. He purred at her touch, deep and calming. His eyes closed and Aed lost herself in his thick warm fur. He was undeniably a strange cat, but she liked him nonetheless. He was different, and that was alright by her. The small creature meowed softly before passing through a gap in the double doors Aed was sure had been implemented just for him. She watched him go, wondering what feline adventures would occupy the remainder of his day.
She had spent her morning traversing the many corridors and floors of the great castle, even managing to find a few secret passageways. Harry had run into her on his way to Gryffindor Tower, and as she excitedly informed him of her discoveries, his eyebrows had risen in genuine surprise. The school's interior was so foreign to her, tiny closets and classrooms lining the walls of every corridor, moving statues and faceless suits of armour stationed on plinths of weathered stone. Most of her life was spent outdoors, so to explore this maze of moving staircases and sentient portraits was a delightful change. It was now early afternoon and all she wanted was to sit and relax, allowing her mind to wander as it liked. She had been feeling uneasy the past few days, and only now did she begin to understand why.
Though the people who inhabited the castle did not show outward signs of dislike, and she felt no hostility in their gazes, Aed knew she was not one of them. She was merely a visitor, one who had overstayed her welcome but was unable to leave. She would miss everyone. They had all become something like her friends, even if they didn't trust her. She understood how they felt. She was a stranger after all, whether or not she had come from magic. She feared the day her time here would end, knew that her heart would ache for not just the broken families, but for Hermione, Harry and the other Order members as well. They had all been through so much. She had heard the unfamiliar term thrown around when used to describe those who fought against Voldemort's supporters. Harry had a funny habit of calling him Tom, and Ron rolled his eyes every time he did.
She definitely had her misgivings about them, but the witches and wizards here were kind, friendly, and happy to indulge her curiosities regarding magic. She revelled in it, unable to comprehend how it worked, but could not get enough of watching it in action. Though she desperately wanted to, Aed could not allow herself to completely trust these people either. She hardly knew them after all. And the magical folk she knew were less than kind. True, the inhabitants of the castle seemed nothing short of saintly in their warmth, but letting down one's walls was not without substantial risk.
Her musings were interrupted by the sound of crunching footsteps in the distance. All sound felt magnified in this place. Perhaps it was the stillness of where she stood, or some spell of amplification cast to warn of intruders, but Aed knew that whoever approached was a long way off. Unable to find a better place to mask herself, Aed rushed over to the fountain and crouched behind it, hoping that it would be enough.
She attempted to breathe as quietly as she could, and made sure the hooded jacket she wore completely obscured her long crimson hair. It would hardly do to have it give her position away to a potential threat. The visitor was likely a friend of someone in the castle, but they didn't know her, and she didn't know them. They could just as likely attack her or offer to shake her hand, and she didn't fancy facing down a wizard with no form of protection. Aed had not been alone since meeting Harry earlier that week, and she wanted to prove that being given this freedom wasn't a mistake on Hermione's part.
The footsteps grew louder but remained deliberate and even. This person, whoever they were, was not in any hurry. Aed crouched there and waited, not knowing what she would do if discovered. Her eyes were shut, the better to focus on listening. But she opened them now, risking a glance through the fountain to see if she could make anything out.
It was a man. A man with broad shoulders and shaggy hair, but any other details were obscured by the rushing water, and she had dare not reveal herself for longer than absolutely necessary. She ducked back down, hoping that her eyes had tricked her racing mind and pounding heart.
It could not be him. It just couldn't be. Everything would be much more complicated then, and she did not want to deal with any of it. But a small voice in her head told her it was him, and that she was being foolish. No matter what she did, Aed failed to quell this persistent little voice. She swallowed hard, steeling her resolve. Why was nothing ever simple? She would not hide with her fingers in her ears. She would face the wrench head-on. In one graceful motion, she rose, lowering her hood and pushing a few unruly strands of hair out of her face.
The man stopped walking. His shining eyes latched onto hers unblinkingly. He watched her for a long time. His face contorted and writhed as it attempted to display everything he felt. Jubilation, triumph, sorrow, hurt, anger, betrayal. Losing the battle with her own face, Aed could feel herself heating, surely matching the vibrant shade of her hair. Why was he here? Why couldn't he have stayed away?
"Cailean," she said. There was no way to hide the longing in her voice, but perhaps she could pretend.
"Aed," he breathed, rushing forward to greet her. He moved swiftly, making his way around the fountain to stand by her side. "I thought you were lost."
Aed didn't respond. She simply stared at him, trying to think of something that wouldn't set him off. Small gusts of wind caused her hair to come loose and flit about her face. She couldn't do what she really wanted, there were more important things that required her attention right now. The urge to hug him, to kiss him, was overpowering, and she fought against her desires with iron resolve.
"I've missed you, my love," he tried again, struggling to get the words out through quivering lips. He placed a strong hand on her shoulder, and Aed forced herself to step back, away from his firm yet gentle touch. "What's wrong?" he asked, noticing her hesitation. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she murmured, taking a half step towards him. "Safe, more or less. What are you doing here?" She fought to keep her voice soft and even, but failed spectacularly. She was unsure if the quiver in her words was due to fear, desire, or the sudden chill that had begun to spread throughout her entire body.
"I came to find you, love." For the first time during their interaction, his gaze left her and moved to the castle for a moment. "I've been looking for you for days."
"Well, here I am," she said, flattening her emotions into a cold monotone in an attempt to deter him. That was the idea, at least. "Are you satisfied? Can you go now?" Every second he stayed, the likelihood of him being discovered increased. The notion that anyone could stroll through the heavy wooden doors and discover them terrified her almost beyond rational thought.
"No," he said simply. "Why did you not return home? Why are you still with these…" He groped for the right word. "Whatever they are. What is this place?" He blurted out this last question, unable to quell his curiosity.
"This is Hogwarts," said Aed, pouncing on the one topic she could actually talk about. "A school where young witches and wizards learn magic. Why bother lying when he probably had at least an idea already? Cailean was many things, but stupid was not one of them. "It's an incredible place," she continued, the wonder evident in her tone.
Cailean's face fell into a deep scowl. "You want to be here? You already sound like them."
"Like who?" asked Aed, struggling to comprehend this unexpected reaction. They were good people by her estimation, and he could hardly have interacted with them more than she had.
"Like the elitist swine that populate this eyesore." He looked upon her with unveiled disgust.
"The people in there are better than most I have met!" Aed's voice was not loud, but her words rang across the courtyard like a physical force.
Cailean stepped back, stung. The ground beneath his feet seemed to tremble at his bulk. "Just come with me. Away. Far away from here. We can be safe. Then you can explain things." His tone was pleading, earnest. "I love you," he said softly, letting the words flow from his lips like honeyed mead, hot and sweet.
He was so strong and sure. He possessed a stoic confidence that every other man in their small town yearned to emulate. She knew his declaration of love to be genuine, but couldn't give the impression that she wanted him to stay. It was so difficult not to run to him, but Aed persevered. He reached out a hand to her, attempting to bridge the ever-widening gap between them. She did not move to close the distance. He dropped his arm after a moment, and his face darkened further.
"I can't," she said, shaking her head slowly. "I know too much. There is no way they will just let me leave." Her eyes bore into his, trying to make him understand.
"Too much? About what?" Cailean's eyes were wide with shock. "About magic?"
"Yes," she replied, defeated. "They tell me things. They expect me to stay now, to become one of them. I don't know what to do."
"Are you?" he asked cautiously, unsure if he really wanted to know the answer. "And I don't see anyone around. They wouldn't be able to find us."
"Yes, they would. The magic that dwells within them is powerful. They're far beyond anything my fam—" Aed cut herself off abruptly. She had never told him about her past. He didn't know she came from a wizarding household, and now wished that she had continued to explore the castle rather than come outside in the first place. There were many things she had hidden from him, and promised herself that no more secrets would be spilling from her dancing tongue. She couldn't make any more mistakes.
"Y-Your what? Family? I didn't think I married a liar." Cailean's entire body stiffened, and the colour drained from his face. "What else have you kept from me? Are… are you a… a witch?" He bit out the last word through frozen lips, angry patches of red beginning to appear on his cheeks.
"Hardly," she said, releasing a bitter chuckle. She tried to ignore his mounting fury, tried to push aside the betrayal so that they both might forget it ever happened. "I have no power." She cast her eyes down to the flagged stone floor beneath her feet, willing the salty tears not to fall. "My family all did though."
"Is that so?" said Cailean, more to himself than to her. His face held no expression as he reached into the pocket of the big leather jacket Aed liked so much. He grasped something, she could see that through the thick material. He did not take it out though, just held it for a moment before removing his hand. "I'll be back for you," he said, eyes burning brighter than the sun above their heads. "Be sure of that, my love. I will come for you, and I will not be refused a second time." Without waiting for a response, a response that would never have come anyway, he turned and walked away. She watched his form recede into the Summer haze, his body obscured by unearthly golden light.
A/N: I know this story has a lot of perspectives. I hope it's not confusing. I'm trying to make things clear while also hopping around. I like stories where the narrative perspective shifts. Keeps me on my toes, ya feel? I imagine this like a TV show with different scenes rather than a 'normal' novel, whatever that means. Catch you next week maybe. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this story so far. You're my favourite. No, not you, the other one.
