In a place of unmatched divinity, a gathering that would decide the way fate would be weaved was about to start. A red rose the size of a galaxy sat at the highest, farthest point of reality, all the infinite multiverses that come together to form that which is called totality, stretching endlessly below it. Above the rose was a grand palace formed from platinum and diamond, the structure shaped to mirror architecture from all cultures that have ever been. This building, The Empyrean, the highest heaven, was the focal point of reality and was where beings that were all but human prepared to decide mankind's fate.
Three of these beings were making their way through a hallway so large that it could fit an entire county inside it, space bending around them so they could cross kilometers in a few steps. The trio were vastly different from one another in appearance, with the only exception being the black feathered wings coming from their backs.
The woman who took point of the group, who possessed six wings rather than the mere pair the other two had, was dark of skin and adorned in a suit of pure white. She walked with a brisk stride, her unusual eyes focused ever forward. Said eyes were a right eye like a burning coal and a left that was a sphere of ice, no pupils nor any normal traits of an organ of sight to be found.
The younger woman that stayed so close behind the first that she was practically clinging to the suited woman's back wore a pink hoodie dress with the hood up, showing off the serpentine eye design that was on the cowl. The hooded woman's black wings were wrapped around herself like a blanket and she kept her head down, eyes toward her fiddling fingers.
The figure that took the rear could only really be described as that, a figure. It was a mass of amorphous black shaped to be a silhouette, the only solid aspect of it being its wings. Within the darkness sat a vague image of a skull that betrayed no ardor.
As they moved through the hallway, they eventually reached a colossal doorway. The doors were painted, depicting scenes of gods triumphing over evil and performing great deeds. One god used a hammer to duel a giant serpent. Another god lifted the entire universe. The largest section was devoted to displaying a grand deity filling a dark void with the light of creation. While the hooded girl stopped to bask in the beautiful artwork, the suited one wasted not even a second and pushed open the doors with the same ease as when moving a feather.
To call the room ornate would be an understatement. It was a stepped assembly hall more heavily decorated than even the grandiose hallway, with jewels and precious metals of all kinds being shaped into myriad types of ornamentation. Sitting in the over one million seats were deities from all pantheons, each capable of erasing entire space-time continuums from existence, waiting to arbitrate humanity's destiny.
In one seat sat a god in the finest furs holding a small hammer radiating power. In another seat sat a man in spartan armor with eyes that twitched with lust for bloodshed. Another seat was held by a goddess with hair like lava who drew out fear from those around her by her mere presence.
There was a chatter among the divine entities that was promptly silenced as soon as a certain set of doors opened and a god entered the room and made their way toward the central podium, the entirety of everyone's attention being on her. She was of voluptuous figure and she walked with an exaggerated sway to emphasize it along with her rather revealing outfit of just a loincloth and a strip of cloth over her breasts to protect her modesty. Her skin was dark, her hair pure white, and an ostentatious amount of jewelry adorned her body. What was most striking was her eyes, which were each an entire cosmos full of stars, planets and galaxies. She possessed a beauty that was beyond that which could occur naturally, requiring being sculpted by hands of incomprehensible skill, her own hands.
With a smirk on her face she was followed by ten men in the attire of butlers, each being noticeably handsome and wearing six wings just like the woman with eyes of fire and ice, except for their color, being an untainted white.
Once the cosmic-eyed god reached the podium and the winged men formed a line behind her, almost the entire gathering of deities started to clap and cheer for her. The white haired god drank in the praise while the white suited woman rolled her eyes, or rather she would have if her eyes weren't a flaming rock and an ice ball.
The white haired god spoke. "Hello one, hello all, how are all my darling children doing? I know it's only been one thousand years, but it's so wonderful to see everyone gathered together again. It is I, the one and only creator of all, The Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost, it's ya gurl, Yahweh!" More clapping followed. "Thank you, thank you all so much! I'd say I'm not worthy, but really, if I'm not worthy, then who is?" This comment garnered obligatory laughter. The white suited woman groaned. "Alright, alright, I'd love to bask in your praise more, but we should probably get on with what we're here for first. We can go back to adoring me once we're done."
The pink hooded girl noticed the aura of hatred and anger radiating off of the woman in the white suit and it made her feel supremely uncomfortable. The suited woman was a mere few steps away from unleashing the violent urge she was bottling up inside. The worst part was that it was only a preview of the rage she would be feeling throughout that conference.
"Alright, so humanity, what are we gonna do about them? Should we continue to be merciful and forgive their transgressions, or is it time to draw a line in the sand and wipe them all out across all of space and time? Who wants to speak first? Raise your hands all who wish to say your piece before the vote!"
The lava haired woman raised her hand immediately, her arm breaking the sound barrier with its speed. "Humanity needs to go!"
"Well, Madame Pele, good to see you. Would you like to expound your reasons for that claim?"
Pele, the Hawaiian volcano deity, stood from her seat and proceeded to do just that. "Humans are absolute trash at this point. Any potential they had is long dead! You can't even ask to bum a cigarette off one of 'em without them sayin' you gotta pay 'em! None of 'em do anything outta the kindness of their hearts anymore!" The area around Pele started heating up to the point that the air ignited into flames. "It's like being shitheads is necessary for them to breathe! They can't even have a conversation without complaining about the most inane bullshit!"
"Good point, I like the passion. That said, could I ask you to tone down the rage? The gods around you had to move away to not get vaporized." Pele noticed that she, in fact, had driven away the nearby deities and so she sat down and started to perform some mental exercises to calm herself. "Okay, while she does that, who wants to throw their two cents in next?"
The hammer wielding god didn't even raise his hand as he stood and spoke. "Humanity has become cowardly and weak! They rely on technology and deception instead of just getting stronger!"
"Yeah, exactly!" the spartan armored man proclaimed in agreement. "Instead of fighting wars with weapons and valor, they engage in petty squabbles on the internet, making big claims and doing nothing!"
"Thor, Mars, thank you both for your thoughts. It is true that humans lack the honor and will that they once did." Yahweh's voice lowered. "That said, please raise your hand when you wanna speak. You shouldn't disrespect your mother." Thor and Mars both shivered from the bloodlust radiating from the cosmic-eyed woman and promptly sat back down.
"Sorry."
"I apologize."
"It's all good." Yahweh returned to her original manner of speech. "Who wants to speak next?" A woman in armor raised her hand. "Athena, I'm assuming you'd like to defend humanity."
Athena stood. "No actually, I'm in favor of humanity's end." This response caused some whispering among the gods, shocked that Athena, defender of heroes, would abandon mankind. "Humanity was once proliferant with great men who did outstanding deeds, but there hasn't been anyone worthy of the title of hero in years. Mankind has lost their spark of brilliance and are just ever spiraling downward toward their own destruction." Athena's expression was mournful, as if humanity was already deceased.
The pattern of gods airing their grievances, from reasonable concerns about humanity's moral failings and their predilection for cruelty, to grousing about minor offenses, continued until the mood of the meeting was opaque. A vote was a mere formality at that point, everyone present knew what the majority wanted as mankind's fate. Any deities that preferred humanity's continued existence were grossly outnumbered, to the point that any attempt to defend humanity as worthy of continuing to live failed to move the hearts of almost any of the gods.
Once it was voted that humanity would be eliminated, it would take a mere thought from Yahweh and all humans across all realities and timelines would be erased. The mind, body, soul, and even the very concept of every human's existence would be unmade, making it so they never existed in the first place. It would remove any impact mankind ever had, leaving not even enough of a remnant to be able to prove humans ever truly existed. The gods would then proceed to evolve a new sapient species into being, a new race that would worship and serve them.
"Welp," Yahweh clapped her hands once. "I'd say we've heard all the testimony necessary, how about we get to voting? Any obje-"
"I object!" The lone being that spoke up was not a god, but the white suited woman with black wings who previously drew no attention.
Yahweh was radiating an aura of bloodlust once again from someone actually daring to interrupt her. Said terrifying atmosphere, that made every deity in attendance see their lives flash before them, dissipated in its entirety upon seeing who it was that interjected. "Oh, Satan, is that you? I didn't notice you 'till now! How're you doing? How's Hell been?" Yahweh's voice turned mocking and cold. "Y'know, I've been thinking about amping up your torture regimine again, how does having all your nerves ripped out of your body six times a minute instead of three sound?"
"Interpantheon Constitution, Article No. 66, Paragraph 3 of the Unique Cases Clause." Satan, ruler of the fallen angels continued on.
"Aw, you're ignoring me? If it was anyone else, I'd have erased them already, but I just can't help but coddle you. It makes the torture more fulfilling for some reason." Yahweh looked at the trembling girl in a hoodie hiding behind Satan and the amorphous shadow next to her. "Oh, did you bring your kids? Don't tell me, the trembling one is Sin, isn't it? I haven't seen her in ages! She still clings to you like a baby though, it's kinda pathetic. As for the shadow, I know that's Death, hard to mistake him for anybody else, y'know? He should try to be less creepy, the whole silent mass of darkness shtick isn't attractive." Sin was terrified of what was about to happen, as one wrong move could mean elimination. Death remained reticent.
Satan ignored Yahweh's provocations. "Paragraph 3 of the Unique Cases Clause states that, 'In the case that humanity is under threat of being eradicated at the discretion of the gods, humanity, if the gods deign to agree, will be allowed to challenge the gods in combat. The thirteen strongest gods will face the thirteen strongest humans throughout history, who will be given bodies equivalent to their prime in life, in thirteen one-on-one duels to the death. The side to reach seven victories first wins. If the gods are victorious, humanity is destroyed. If humanity manages to claim victory, they may continue existing for another one thousand years, until the next evaluation of their worth by the gods. This tournament shall be known as Revelations.'"
There was silence. Every god in attendance was baffled at the proposed idea. Gods and humanity in a tournament to determine mankind's fate? It wasn't something anyone present expected to hear being said, none but Satan herself who had prepared for this day. She had predicted years ahead of time how the meeting would go, how humanity would be determined unworthy of existence.
The hush ended when the gods collectively started laughing hysterically. Almost every divine being present, whether they wanted humanity's demise or survival, was more than amused by Satan's audacious proposal. The clause was created as a joke by the gods, not something to be taken seriously. The idea that a human could ever match up to a god was an impossibility in the minds of the gods. If they didn't know Satan better, they would assume this was all just a gaffe.
Satan felt no embarrassment, however. She stood with the same confidence as before, waiting to let the gods get their mirth out of their systems. However, the gods just kept laughing far longer than expected, the uproar fueled by Satan's proposal that was so absurd to them that, for many, they believed it was the dumbest thing they had ever heard. The fact that Satan, who was known for her intellect and guile, said it only added to the comedy. Yahweh was one of the few gods that wasn't laughing, not one to underestimate Satan's gambits. That said, Yahweh was wearing a droll smirk, curious to see what Satan was planning.
What none anticipated was when Satan joined in on the laughter, becoming the most uproarious being present. As she bent forward while clutching her stomach, the gods slowly started to regain their composure, confused by Satan's current behavior. It didn't take long for Satan to be the only person cackling as the gods watched. Sin was shaking more than ever, knowing what her mother was about to do and she was terrified of the way the gods, specifically Yahweh, would react.
Eventually, Thor got sick of lolling about while listening to Satan's guffawing. "Stop already! Why are you laughing? Did you realize how stupid your suggestion is or what?"
Satan gasped for breath. "I'm sorry, it's just that I didn't expect the gods to all be a bunch of pussies." All were stunned silent by the audacity of what the prince of lies had just dared to utter. "I mean, I get it, you don't wanna risk getting your asses kicked by some mortals, so you just claim that accepting the challenge is beneath you. It's pretty clever, gonna be honest." As Satan returned to laughing, Sin was about to hyperventilate while Death remained taciturn.
The animosity that radiated from almost every deity in that moment was potent enough that the infinite universes that composed the infinite multiverses of totality all shook. Even gods on the side of humanity's survival were intolerant of such abasement. It took only mere moments after Satan continued her revelry for her to be assailed by a deluge of attacks. Myriad deities had sent spears of light, bolts of lightning, waves of flames, and all other conceivable methods of assault toward the fallen angel. The insult that Satan had committed in front of every god in existence could not go unpunished in their eyes.
None of the attempts on Satan's life hit their mark, as they had all frozen in the air, and then swiftly vanished from existence. Sin fell to her knees, having starred not only her mother's demise in the face, but also her own due to being in what would have been the area of the collateral damage. Meanwhile, Satan had stopped laughing and instead smiled wryly and stared at the culprit of the onslaught's disappearance. Every other being present also looked toward the cause, Yahweh.
Yahweh, as it happens, was now the one laughing hysterically. "Like, fuck, wow, I can't believe it! You actually said that! Nobody but you Satan, nobody but you! You always keep things interesting, like, without you babe, I'd be so bored I'd probably kill everyone just to liven things up!" Now, all of reality was trembling from Yahweh's glee alone while the rest of the gods were all worried about what their mother might do next. "You were willing to do something that could'a gotten you killed a million times over just for your plan! For you to use a gambit like that, your plans for this tournament must be nuts! I'm too jazzed not to agree to this nonsense, Revelations is happening!" The assembly of gods started to talk amongst each other, shocked at their creator's statement. "All of you, shut the fuck up!" Everyone compiled without hesitance. "Everyone, go home, I need to decide who's got what job for setting up the tournament and who's fighting for the god's side. Satan, I'll leave the human fighters to you."
Satan grinned widely. "I'd be happy to."
"Aleister Crowley might make a good magic fighter…no, he's never been one for combat magic. Maybe Merlin? No, he's part demon, he doesn't count."
Not long later, all the gods returned to their homes and Satan and her children returned to Hell. Inside Pandæmonium, the capital of Hell forged from gold that sat in an bottomless lake of fire, Satan was carefully looking through the Akashic Record, a list of all information there is to know about all things that Satan was given permission to sift through sections of to determine the thirteen strongest humans for the tournament. Satan would normally be stuck being tortured in the frozen lake Cocytus, but she was also excused from her torture as long as she helps set up the tournament.
The room Satan was in was a modest guest room, since she didn't have a room of her own in Pandæmonium. As Satan looked through the Akashic Record, which took the form of innumerable floating screens made of mystical energy, There was a knock on the door.
"Come in."
Sin entered the room and walked up to her mother. "Hey, mom."
"What is it honey? I'd love to talk, but I'm really busy right now. I've decided on eleven of the thirteen fighters for the human side, but that doesn't mean I can start taking it easy." The suited woman didn't look away from the Record.
"I-I-I know, sorry, I just, I wanna know why you're doing this."
"You're gonna need to be more specific."
"Sorry. I mean, um, why do you, er, why are you trying to help the humans? I'm not saying that's bad, I think that's good, but why are you going so far? Whether humanity wins or loses, Yahweh will probably increase your torture again for this. All you're doing is making enemies out of most of the gods."
"Are you worried about me?"
"Of course, you're my mom. I love you."
Satan stopped her planning and turned to her daughter, a smile on her face. "I love you, too. Y'know, I haven't actually thought about it much, why I'm doing this. Before I could think of why, I was already setting this plan up. I guess it was one of those things you don't consciously think about, it's just instinct."
"So, you don't even know why you're doing this?"
"I guess if I had to come up with exact reasons, one would be spite. The gods are a bunch of arrogant blowhards barring a few of them. They think they have the right to toy with the lives of those they consider lesser. The fact they think they can just kill humanity is proof of that. I want to see mankind kick their asses and show they have a say in their own fate. I want to watch the gods be humiliated, maybe then they'll learn they aren't infallible, or maybe they'll throw a big tantrum. Either way, I'll be laughing happily about their defeat for millenia to come, even while I'm being tortured in Hell's depths. And maybe that's another reason, to get back at them for my torture. Endless torture, just for refusing to serve them."
"And starting a rebellion among the angels to overthrow them."
"No need to sweat the details."
"Also, are you really sure that humanity can win? I mean, the gods are, well, the gods."
Satan sighed. "Sweetie, I just said the gods aren't infallible."
"Y-yeah, sorry, but, just because they aren't perfect doesn't mean they aren't powerful."
"And humans can't be powerful too?"
"No, I mean…"
"I think I just realized my other reason for doing this. I simply like humans. Humans are born weak, blatantly flawed, with a penchant for horrendous acts. Yet, they are capable of being kind, strong, and basically anything else, and not through inherent talent like the gods, but through effort and passion. The gods act like their achievements are something special when it's easy for them, they're built to be 'incredible.' Humans are different. They are kind because they try to be kind and fight against their darker urges. They are strong and are able to achieve great feats by using intellect and practice, even if they are constantly hit with the desire to quit and be indolent. They have the capacity to be horrible, and even if many are, there are plenty that are great despite that capacity." Satan spoke from the heart. "I love humanity, how could you not?"
Sin hadn't heard her mother speak so idealistically or emotionally many times in her life. It was from Satan that Death inherited his laconic nature. To see her mother bare herself so plain to see, Sin couldn't help but get swept up in her feelings.
"Let's save the humans!"
"I was already doing that."
"Oh, well, how can I help? I don't know what I could do, but I wanna help."
Satan's smile faded. "For now, just watch what I do and learn, just in case."
"Just in case of what?"
"Nothing." Satan didn't want to think about that possibility coming to pass, not for her own sake, but for Sin's.
There was a silence that was interrupted by a new voice. "Good thing we got here when we did, shit was about to get awkward."
Three individuals, two men and one woman, each with black wings denoting them as fallen angels, entered the room. The one who spoke up was a portly man with compound eyes like a fly in his sockets and attire befitting someone lounging about a house. He was Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, second-in-command of the fallen angels, and Satan's best friend.
The second was a curvaceous woman wearing lingerie and lounging atop a small dragon. She was Astaroth, the third-in-command of the fallen angels. Sin tried to avoid looking at her due to her appearance making her feel uncomfortable. "Saty, why'd you call for us?" Astaroth spoke airily, half awake. "Me and Chemosh were in the middle of enjoying our honeymoon."
"You and Chemsoh have been on your honeymoon since you got married after getting kicked out of the heavens before the beginning of time."
"And what's wrong with that?" said the third, who was Chemosh, Astaroth's husband. He had an attractive build, wore nothing but a speedo, and he had a panache to everything he did. Sin tried to avoid looking at him as well.
"Nothing." Satan did not have the energy to judge her friends' life choices. "Getting to the salient point, we're going with the artificial holy relic plan, sadly."
Astaroth looked disappointed. "Really, can't we just give them exi-"
"If we did that, the gods would say we're cheating, that the humans aren't using their own power. The artificial relics will be fine since Yahweh will find it amusing because our lives will be on the line."
"I figured as much." Beelzebub said with a shrug.
Sin was concerned. "What do you mean by 'our lives will be on the line.'"
Satan looked to her daughter before she looked away and scowled. Beelzebub figured Satan would be tight lipped about it when it came to Sin and so he spoke up. "Satan, she's gonna find out eventually. If you don't tell her, I will, it's only fair."
Satan remained quiet for a bit before speaking. "Alright, fine, I'll explain it."
In The Empyrean, Yahweh was sitting on her massive throne that was more akin to a bed than a seat. Yahweh was in the middle of receiving a shoulder massage from the effeminate looking Haniel, one of the Archangels, a group of the ten(formally eleven) strongest angels that act as Yahweh's personal butlers, a group Satan was once a part of and was the only female member of before her rebellion.
Yahweh had already decided on which gods would participate in Revelations and was eagerly awaiting the upcoming battles. She was so excited to see what Satan would cook up for the tournament that she was thinking over and over about who Satan would choose to fight, and how she would give the humans a fighting chance. She was betting they would go with making artificial holy relics, in which case she was getting even more hyped for the competition. She wanted to see how humanity would flail around in desperation, orchestrated by a deluded Satan who thinks she could make a change.
Yahweh was broken out of her thoughts when one of her Archangels, the tall and rugged Sandalphon, appeared. "My lady, if I may interrupt your moment of peace, Jupiter has arrived and has requested to speak to you regarding the order in which the chosen gods will fight."
"Ain't no rest for the perfect. Send him in, I'm in a good mood."
Sandalphon nodded and opened the door for the guest. In walked an individual with hair and a beard made of crackling electricity that made him emanate golden light. He was draped in a white toga bordered with purple and held a gold scepter. He had a wreath for a crown and his body was muscular despite looking to be an older man.
"Sup Jup', how's it going?"
Jupiter lowered onto one knee. "Greetings great mother of all, I thank you for sacrificing some of your most valuable time to hear my insolent request. My kin and I have been doing quite well, may I inquire as to how you have been?"
"I'm just elated, thank you for asking. I can't wait to see humanity's death knell, it's gonna be radical. It's what they get for being trash tier scumbags."
"I'm glad you're in good spirits, great crafter of reality. If I may vocalize my request now, I request, at your discretion whether it would come to pass or not, that I may be the first of the gods to fight against humanity."
Yahweh wasn't surprised "You wanna go first? You wouldn't be the only one."
"If I may state my case, greatest one, I have done many services for humanity, I have mated with many a human woman and gifted them with demigod children to act as heroes of legend, protectors and saviors, and yet, they treat my kindness as an infraction. They say the fact that I assaulted those women and provided them with children against their will was wrong, as if they shouldn't be grateful. Those women should have felt honored to bear my seed, and yet they attempted to reject me. Any unpleasantness was the result of their own stubbornness. I must punish humanity for their insolence."
"You seem real upset. Sure, you can go first, I was already thinking you'd be a good vanguard."
"I thank you deeply o creator or creators, god of gods! Truly, you are the most benevolent of a-"
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm the best thing ever. I'd actually like to go back to my personal time, so if you could skadaddle, that'd be big appreciated."
"Of course, your grace." Jupiter made his way out of the room and Yahweh returned to enjoying her massage, and thinking about when she herself would fight.
The lineup of fighters was soon finalized.
Gods:
Yahweh
Tiān
Jupiter
Isis
Brahman
Amaterasu-Ōmikami
Ādi-Buddha
Lugh
Nyx
Olodumare
Elli
Yuánshǐ Tīanzūn
Ōmeteōtl
Humans:
Muhammad Ali
Marco Polo
Solomon
Jeanne d'Arc
Lilith
John von Neumann
Ng Mui
Gilgamesh
Elizabeth Báthory
Lakshmibai
Ivan Mikhailovich Sidorenko
Khutulun
Hōzōin In'ei
It was time for Revelations. The early morning Sun shined down as the arena finished filling up with the spectators who were gods, humans, and all other manner of entities. This included every being that had ever died, as even the souls of all deceased humans would be erased if the gods were victorious, so they had the right to watch this historic event with material bodies provided by Yahweh.
The grandiloquent arena, located in a new multiverse created by Yahweh for the purposes of this tournament, was massive enough to hold the trillions of onlookers and sat on a planet durable enough to withstand a universal collapse. The black and gold stadium was circular and its design was based on art deco aesthetic stylings. It was built for comfort with well upholstered seats and plenty of food vendors. The battlefield in the center was 2 million km in radius and was a flat, black and white checkerboard floor. The entire arena was enchanted so that even normal humans could clearly see and hear things happening millions of kilometers away, so there would be no problem spectating the battles.
The divine audience was excitedly preparing for the battles to come, to see the champions of the gods show off their greatness and see mankind humiliated for their sins. They also wanted, even more so, to prove Satan wrong, that they weren't cowards nor weak.
Thor and Mars were not as happy as the rest of the gods, sitting together and radiating waves of anger over not getting picked to participate in Revelations. They were both famed for their skill in combat, so not being chosen as part of the thirteen strongest gods was insulting. It didn't help that, since it was Yahweh's choice, they couldn't complain outwardly without risk of death.
Sitting right behind them was Pele and Athena. Pele was itching to watch humanity die while Athena simply waited with genuine curiosity as to how the upcoming battles would go. She had seen the potential of humans, but she was less than confident that they could ever compare to deities in combat.
The human spectators were all filled with a deluge of anxiety. If they failed, if their champions failed, this would be the end for all Homo Sapiens, both alive and deceased. All mankind, for the first time, was united, not in brotherhood or love, but in fear of oblivion.
All beings of a nature not human nor divine were simply excited to watch the battles, with some feeling pity for the humans they were confident would be erased by the end of the tournament.
In a luxury box with a rococo style, decorated with beautiful works of art from throughout history, and having a full kitchen at the ready was Yahweh and her archangels. The creator was relaxing on a lounge chair while receiving a foot massage from Haniel and the round faced Raphael. Meanwhile, the bespectacled archangel Zaphkiel was working in the kitchen to prepare a gourmet meal for Yahweh to enjoy while watching the tournament.
Among the other archangels, the scar covered Metatron and the long haired Raziel were currently recording every minute event of the tournament, Metatron in a scroll and Raziel in a tome, so that this reality shaping event would be documented with absolute detail and accuracy. The compendium would be called the Record of Revelations.
Satan, Sin, Death, Beelzebub, and Astaroth were all in their own luxury box provided by Yahweh, though it was not as lavish as the creator's own. Sin was sitting in a chair, rocking back and forth due to her nerves. Now that she'd resolved herself to try and help humanity, now that she wanted them to live down to the bottom of her heart, she was filled with terror over their theoretical demise. Beelzebub was trying to conceive of some way to ease the tension of the moment, despite knowing that doing so wasn't possible.
Satan was looking down on the battlefield, her thoughts on nothing but the war to come. Death stood next to his mother, silent.
"Hey, Satan." The ruler of the fallen angels swiveled to see Astaroth, sitting up properly atop her pet dragon instead of lounging upon it like usual. "Are you really sure Chemosh has to be first?"
Astaroth displayed a greater alertness than her usual sleepy cadence.
"Yes. His particular abilities are best for this."
"I'm stronger and-"
"It is because you are stronger that I have to save you for later. I can't waste you."
"Please, if Chemosh d-"
"I'm not going to throw his life away, nor am I going to throw away yours or anyone else's. Trust my plan and trust in Chemosh."
"Can I speak please?" Astaroth looked ready to grind her teeth from frustration.
Satan paused, surprised by Astaroth's grave tone. "Yes, you can speak."
"I can tell you've fully resolved yourself, and the rest of us have, too. We're ready to die to save humanity, at least I know both Chemosh and I feel that way. That said, just because we're willing to die if necessary, that doesn't mean you can cavalierly throw away our lives. Doing so makes you no better than the gods."
"I'm not throwing away your lives. I have a plan, I told you my plan, what's the problem here?"
"The fact that you're so confident in your plan is my problem. You seem to think you're perfect. I don't feel like you fully comprehend what will be lost if we fail, the lives lost, and not just the humans."
Satan was offended by the accusation. "You think I haven't thought about the weight of my actions? Do you think I'm not taking this seriously?"
"I think your overconfidence will get Chemosh killed. When you first provoked the gods and all of them attacked you, what if Yahweh hadn't stepped in?"
"I knew she would step in-"
"The very fact you phrase it as 'you knew' shows your problem. You know, if Yahweh didn't stop the attacks, not only you, but Sin and Death would have died in the collateral. You don't think it's fucked up that you'd put your own kids in danger?"
"They weren't in danger. I've known Yahweh longer than anyone, I know how she thinks."
"You can make mistakes and you need to account for that!"
"So I should assume we'll fail? That kind of attitude will make us fail, without a doubt."
"I'm not saying assume failure, I'm saying prepare for it! Confidence and arrogance are different things! It's because your like this that-"
"Alright, alright, alright!" Beelzebub stepped in. "Let's all just stop for a sec. Now is not the time to be arguing."
Beelzebub turned to Astaroth in particular. "Your concerns are perfectly valid and I agree with you, but it's honestly too late to go changing the game plan now. If you were this anxious, you should've been more vocal earlier.
Beelzebub shifted his focus to Satan. "You need to stop acting like you're the one with all the answers and that you've got everything figured out. You can't foresee everything and your plans need flexibility."
Satan turned back toward the battlefield, meanwhile Astaroth stared at her, her frustrations unsated. Beelzebub put a hand on Astaroth's shoulder and looked her in the eye. Astaroth's face softened and she looked toward the battlefield as well. Beelzebub exhaled and prepared to sit back down, but was interrupted by a voice that rang throughout the colosseum.
"Hello one and all, gods, men, and all other manner of entities! The first round of Revelations is about to begin! Are you all excited?" The gods all cheered. "Of course you're excited! I know I am absolutely elated right now for this fight. Who's everyone rooting for? I'm actually hoping humanity wins, blasphemy that may be. What can I say? I'm a fan of underdogs. By the by, I am one of your commentators for this grand event, Anansi, Akan spider god and owner of all stories!"
The voice originated from a sharply dressed man with multiple arms and eyes, befitting his arachnid nature, sitting in the commentators area. Next to him was a man in a toga who had fair hair. Said man was trembling with excitement until he could hold back no longer.
"I can feel the passion, fear, and exhilaration coming from every single person present here today! Every being in existence is here, all for the same purpose, simultaneously divided yet united! Ah, I am so honored to be here and to be able to comment on such a momentous occasion! Oh, how great a day this is! Ah, I've forgotten to introduce myself, how foolish of me, I'm so easily distracted at times like these! My name is Apollo, the Greek and Roman god of the Sun, the arts, poetry, music, archery, dance, oracles, healing, truth-"
"Speed it up, man." Anansi interrupted.
"I apologize, I'm just so elated! A war between the highest echelon of existences versus the lowest rung of sapient beings! This is the turning point of history for which so few occur so clearly! We must be ready to observe and be engrossed!"
"Don't go crazy yet, man. If you're this hyped up, you won't be able to handle it once the fights actually happen. Moving on, along with Apollo and I, we will also have a different guest commentator for each round. For the first round our guest is the beautiful Roman goddess of marriage and childbirth, Juno!" The gods cheered once again at the mention of the goddess.
The deity that Anansi referred to who sat at the opposite side of Apollo was an attractive and mature woman in a wedding dress who had pink peonies in place of hair and olive skin.
"It's lovely to be here. I am honored that I'd be allowed to comment on such a special event." Juno spoke with a calm, composed cadence.
"You may be wondering why Juno was chosen to be guest commentator for the first round, but let's just say it's a hint toward who one of the fighters for the first round is." Anansi enticed the audience. "Anyway, when it comes to who will be the referees and judges of this tournament, it will be the three judges of the dead, Minos, Aeacus, and Rhadamanthus!"
Everyone looked to the three referees who were looking at a myriad of magic screens that allow them to see every inch of the field from every angle. They wore kingly attire, with Minos possessing a tail like a serpent's and donkey ears, Aeacus had the head of an ant, and Rhadamanthus was the only one not wearing regal clothing in favor of a stereotypical referee's outfit, black and white stripes and all.
"Now, let us move on to the main event that we've all been anticipating with bated breath!" Apollo transitioned. "If you'd turn your attention to the magnificent battlefield, the fighters will soon appear for their bout that shall rock totality!"
"In the meanwhile, we should mention that for each round, both fighters can request one aspect of the battlefield's design. In this case, the champion of the gods chose this!"
On cue, light flashed out from the battlefield's center before dissipating to reveal a new structure. It was a Roman style temple of white and gold. It was a raised podium with a single room structure atop it called a cella, a series of pillars around it that held up a triangular roof called a pediment. There was a single set of steps that led to the entrance of the cella which was decorated with a large statue of the god Jupiter.
"Say hey to the Temple of Jupiter Optimus Maximus! Now for what the human fighter requested!"
On the porch that was between a row of pillars and the entrance of the cella was another flash of light that faded to show a boxing ring of standard size and a white and gold color scheme that matched the temple.
"The vanguard of mankind desired a boxing ring!"
It was then that the gate that served as the battlefield entrance for the gods started creaking open.
"It seems the first fighter has arrived!"
Stopping through the open gates was not a single fighter, but an army. They marched in the armor of Roman legionaries, the divine soldiers shaking the entire arena with each synchronized step.
"He is the sky father. He is the lord of lighting. He is the ultimate Roman deity!"
"He possesses many names! Zeus, Jove, Tinia!"
The Sun above started quaking.
"To almost all beings, his word is law!"
"Listen. Do you hear it? Beyond the pounding of feet against the ground, there is an inaudible sound we can all hear, and it says to be in awe!"
The legionaries formed a pair of single file lines at each side of the staircase of the temple. They stood at attention while the sun was visibly shaking, solar flares and coronal mass ejections the size of continents being produced.
"Now is the time to give reverence to the Thunderer!"
"Bare witness to he who is unconquerable!"
From the star above, a bolt of lightning that moved at speeds that exceeded light by several decillion times emerged and struck the checkerboard floor of the battlefield.
But, the lightning was a mere raiment that dissolved to reveal the god with a beard of lighting, and a golden staff in hand. The soldiers bowed to the deity as he walked between the two lines of them and up the steps of the temple built in his honor.
"He is the first champion of godkind!"
The vanguard of the gods reached the top of the staircase and leapt into the boxing ring, raising a fist in the air.
"Jupiter!"
The god clamoured with praise and joy, all of which the Roman god drank in with a smile. Many of the human spectators trembled with recognition of the god named Jupiter, while most that didn't were still flooded with terror upon seeing the deity use the Sun as a plaything for the sake of a dramatic entrance.
"Ah, to see such a champion, my own father, emerge from my Sun, I am in ecstasy!" Apollo extolled. "Getting to see a warrior of such renown and power, a king among kings, in combat, before our very eyes, we are truly blessed!"
Juno looked upon Jupiter with furrowed brows and tightly clenched teeth.
"Juno, is something wrong? You're scowling at Jupiter like he just backhand slapped your baby. Aren't you happy for your husband?" Anansi was confused by the goddess' seemingly unprovoked vitriol.
Apollo put a hand on the spider god's shoulder. "You may wish not to inquire into that subject. I feel like it is well known that Juno has issues with my father's…debauchery."
Anansi remembered that Apollo isn't the son of Juno, and neither were a majority of Jupiter's progeny, the deity being fond of having his way with whatever woman he sees fit, regardless of the consent of his target or his wife. Juno herself is too weak to even punish the sky father in any significant way.
Eventually, the cheering petered out and the army returned from whence they came, leaving Jupiter to await his opponent.
"Now, you must all be wondering who would dare challenge Jupiter? Who could build up the courage to stand against him? Well, let's quit wondering and see!" Anansi's speech was accompanied by the gate opposite to the one Jupiter's army appeared from opening.
Out came five men, the one at the front being of African descent. The man had his fists raised, said fists covered in red boxing gloves. He wore black boxing shoes and white trunks. He was large, only about a foot shorter than the imposing Jupiter.
"Boxing. The pugilistic art that is one of the oldest forms of combat! There are many contenders for the greatest, Sugar Ray Robinson, Pete Herman, Jack Depsey, Joe Louis, Melankomas."
"But, despite the number of icons of the art of the punch, there is only one that stands at the pinnacle of mankind."
The group of men made their way up the steps, their simple entrance compared to Jupiter's nonetheless captivating the audience into silence.
"He made the jungle rumble! He left a mark on the world of boxing that would never be wiped away!"
"He's the Louisville Lip, The People's Champion, The Greatest!"
The boxer entered the ring with the assistance of his four cornermen, Angelo Dundee, Bundi Brown, Wali Muhammad, and Ferdie Pacheco.
"Thanks guys. Sorry you can't act like proper cornermen for this fight. No help allowed, apparently."
"No worries, we just wanted to walk you to the ring one more time."
The four men made their way out of the arena while the remaining human went to one of the boxing ring's corners, his eyes sizing up the god standing at the prize ring's center.
"Say hello to the man that plans to make the heavens rumble!"
"He is the first champion of humanity, Muhammad Ali!"
Many humans broke through the fear Jupiter instilled in them in order to bellow out in joy. Muhamamd Ali was less than obscure, he was the most famous boxer to have ever lived and an influential figure in human culture as a whole.
"Everyone still loves him. Well, I can't say that's a bad thing, especially now. We need to be united." said Joe Frazier, one of the few men to beat Ali in a match, though Ali beat Frazier in two rematches. "I still beat him once, though."
"I wish I got the chance to face him in combat." Frazier turned to see the famous martial artist, Bruce Lee sitting behind him. "It's unfortunate that I passed away before I got the chance."
Jupiter looked down his nose at Ali. "So, you are to be my opponent. I was hoping for someone more intimidating than a little man in silly gloves. It's my time to make a grand display of humanity's punishment, but I can't do that if you perish at the slightest touch."
"You're lucky you've got that beard, that way, nobody will see how bad your face is gonna look when I'm done with you."
"Y-"
"I mean, you seem pretty ugly as it is. We can't all be pretty like me."
"H-"
"You think you're tough, you think you've got style, but it's gonna be rough, when I make you cry a while."
"Listen you malapert little miscreant, you will soon regret your incivility when this battle begins and you are forced to face punishment for the sins of your species!"
Ali's head was leaned back, the boxer making an overt display of pretending to snore. Jupiter flung a hand at the pugilist in an attempt to grab him, but Ali juked out of the way without even looking.
"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. The hands can't hit what the eyes can't see."
Jupiter's breathing sped up as his anger was palpable, all the while Muhammad kept a cocksure smile of his face.
Interrupting the banter between the combatants, an archangel, the softly smiling Gabriel, descended from the sky and landed between Jupiter and Ali, a trumpet in his hands. "I have been given the honor of blowing the trumpet that shall signal the beginning of Revelations. Once this horn is blown, there is no going back, the war will begin, and history shall be made. Jupiter, are you ready?"
"Yes."
"Splendid. Muhammad Ali, are you ready?"
"Absolutely."
"In that case." Gabriel took a deep breath and put the trumpet to his lips.
Anansi declared, "Let the first round of Revelation, Jupiter vs Muhammad Ali…"
Almost every being in the arena sat on the edge of their seat, leaning forward with their breath held in wait of the sound they needed to hear. From their luxury boxes that sat across from each other, Satan and Yahweh's eyes met. Grim determination from Satan and hedonistic pleasure from Yahweh connected in that moment.
Finally, the horn was blown, a melodious sound consuming the area as Gabriel flew away and into the luxury box of his master.
"Begin!"
Jupiter dashed at Ali, his scepter poised to bash the pugilist's skull.
The sky god felt an impact with his face, the origin too fast for him to perceive. His head flung backward, his nose splitting open and blood gushing. Jupiter fell back and hit the canvas, unmoving.
Everyone was silent. The announcers hadn't even spoken since the fight began, as stunned as most everyone else at the mortal Ali's feat.
Now, the presumption that the interactions between humans and gods had been founded on, that humans were no match for deities, was disproven.
Satan had a devilish smirk, Sin's mouth hung open, and Yahweh was curled up into a ball, a toothy grin on her face at the excitement Satan had prepared for her coming to fruition.
The creator was glad she chose to humor Satan.
