Ten little soldier boys went out to dine; One choked his little self and then there were Nine.

Nine little soldier boys sat up very late; One overslept himself and then there were Eight.

Eight little soldier boys travelling in Devon; One said he'd stay there and then their were Seven.

Seven little soldier boys chopping up sticks; One chopped himself in halves and then there were Six.

Six little soldier boys playing with a hive; A bumble bee stung one and then there were Five.

Five little soldier boys going in for law; One got in Chancery and then there were Four.

Four little soldier boys going out to sea; A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three.

Three little soldier boys walking in a Zoo; A bear hugged one and there there were Two.

Two little soldier boys sitting in the sun; One got all frizzled up and then there was One.

One little soldier boy left all alone; He went and hanged himself and then there were None.

Frank Green, 1869

Edna Mazur had lived her life always following the rules. She did her duty as expected, as she got taught by her mother, who got taught by her mother. It was the standard duty passed down for many generations since the beginning of time. Edna raised her two daughters while her late husband, Harry, worked to provide them with food, shelter and clothing. It wasn't an easy life, but she wouldn't change a thing. She wasn't in love with Harry until after they had their first daughter, Shirley. They married as their parents' pre-arranged. Edna wiped a tear as she thought about her oldest daughter. Such a tragedy.

She still didn't understand why her daughter had to die. It was a senseless crime. Well, it wasn't exactly a crime but a set of unfortunate circumstances. Edna couldn't deal with why Shirley needed to drive so late in her pregnancy. Her husband was responsible for those things, but he was too busy to take time off from work.

Shirley was nine months pregnant. She still had a few weeks before her due date. Nobody knows for sure what events led to the accident, but Edna suspected Shirley went into labour. Her husband, Arnold Schroder, worked at the bank as the branch manager. He didn't believe in attending prenatal appointments. "It is the woman's responsibility to tend to such things," were his last words to his wife. Edna tried to make Arnold see reason, but he insisted Shirley was capable of driving. Didn't Arnold know that women are more likely to get into a car accident as their pregnancy progressed?

Edna had a sinking feeling about Shirley driving to her appointment on that fateful day, but Harry said, "Her husband had spoken. Stay out of their marriage." She wanted to ask Frank to drive her, but Harry had put his foot down. Edna was not permitted to interfere. For a brief moment, Edna resented her husband. She could feel something horrible was about to happen.

Within an hour, Edna received the dreaded call. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Mazur. Your daughter, Shirley Schroder, passed away a few minutes ago. The paramedics kept her heart beating long enough for us to deliver your granddaughter," Dr. Stevens said. "I haven't been able to contact her husband." Dr. Stevens mentioned Edna should talk to the officer to obtain the details regarding Shirley's death.

Officer Kyle Gazarra called Edna Mazur. As Edna expected, Shirley went into labour. Her water broke, soaking the seat and the pedals. Kyle suspected Shirley tried to step on the brakes, but her foot slipped and hit the gas pedal instead. No other vehicles or people were involved. It was fortunate Shirley was still alive to ensure her child survived. Edna's relationship with Harry would never be the same. She resented him from that day on.

"That good for nothing piece of shit," Edna murmured. "Probably busy screwing his secretary." Edna knew her son-in-law had a few mistresses. She had learned Arnold's secret the same day Shirley shared her pregnancy news. Her daughter, Shirley, surprised him at work when the doctor confirmed her pregnancy.

Shirley never interrupted what she knew to be her husband having sex in his office. Edna received a call from her devastated daughter. She gave her the only advice she could. "Shirley, you have to stay married to Arnold for the sake of your child." Edna felt wretched for telling her daughter to remain married to a cheater. When assigning custody of minor children, the courts favoured the parent earning a wage over unemployed mothers.

Edna got her friend to drive her to the First National Bank, where Arnold worked. She ignored the warning and barged into Arnold's office. Bent over the desk was Marion Barnhardt. Arnold was buried balls deep inside her. After a few grunts, he looked over his shoulder. Edna swallowed a gasp of horror when Arnold pulled out of Marion. He didn't bother covering himself with a condom. Marion's and Arnold's juices made his penis glisten in the light.

"What are you doing here?" Arnold shouted. He tucked himself into his pants and pulled up the zipper. Edna resisted the urge to gag.

"While you're standing here screwing one of your whores, your wife died in a car accident. I tried calling, but nobody would interrupt your meeting," Edna replied, adding quotations to the meeting.

"You're lying. I would have received a call," Arnold snapped.

Marion raised her torso off the desk, then pulled herself together. "No, you wouldn't have, darling. I forwarded the calls and set a do not disturb message for your line," Marion replied. Marion hoped Arnold would marry her since the wife was no longer in the picture.

"Get out of here, woman. Your services are no longer required," Arnold yelled at Marion. She looked shocked before tears ran down her cheeks. Her hopes got dashed in less than a minute. Edna didn't miss the baby bump. She wondered how many of his mistresses were carrying his child.

Marion Barnhardt was a viper. She used men for sex and money. None of the men she slept with would leave their wives for her. Edna felt sorry for the unborn child. The boy or girl was innocent yet caught in the crossfire. He or she will pay the ultimate price for her father's infidelity and her mother's loose morals.

Arnold drove Edna to the hospital to meet the baby, his daughter. Edna wanted to take a cab, but Harry would get upset for frivolously spending money. Arnold named the baby Shirley, after her mother, to remind himself of his parental duties. Later that day, Arnold got a vasectomy. He didn't want more mouths to feed. Edna held her granddaughter and promised to watch over her.

On the day of the funeral, Edna went to the visitation two hours before mass. Arnold decided to have a closed casket. Edna needed to ensure her daughter was inside. She cried when the funeral director locked the lid. When nobody was looking, Edna pried open the top. Her daughter's face was distorted; nearly unrecognizable. Edna reached inside to touch her daughter one more time when Arnold caught her. She needed closure. Edna did not like closed casket visitations or funerals.

Harry shook his head in disapproval. Helen sat beside her father, covering her face. "What would the neighbours think?" Helen asked when Edna sat beside her. Edna couldn't give a rat's ass what the neighbours thought. Helen rubbed her baby bump. She was six months pregnant with her second child. "He's moving a lot." Helen caught her mother watching her motions.

"Are you sure it's a boy?" Edna dreamed Helen's second child was a girl. She was full of spunk and spirit. Her love of life would make everyone love her. Edna could hardly wait to meet her. The girl had a massive amount of tight curls and blue eyes. Her appearance matched her personality. Edna couldn't wait to meet her.

"Yes. I'm carrying high, which means it's a boy," Helen replied. Edna shook her head but maintained her silence. It was an old wive's tale. Placenta placement determined if you carried high or low. Hopefully, Helen wouldn't be disappointed in having a second daughter.

Edna knew Shirley would grow up spoiled. Whatever Shirley wanted, she would get. Edna was disappointed her granddaughter would be forever known as Shirley, the whiner. Arnold never remarried. He never claimed paternity for the two boys and one girl he had with his mistresses. It was a pity. Having a neglectful father was better than having no father. Edna wondered how it would affect his daughter, Joyce Barnhardt.

Edna's life changed when she received her diagnosis a month after her daughter died. Uterine cancer. The surgeon removed the organ. He said they got it all. The chances of it returning was less than one percent. Edna refused to play those odds. Nothing in life was one hundred percent.

She was cancer free for over thirty years. It came back having metastasized in her liver. Edna refused chemotherapy, having decided to live her remaining days doing whatever she wanted. It was time to pull out her bucket list. Edna had already crossed off a few items.

1. San Diego Zoo

2. Alaskan cruise

3. Skydiving into the Grand Canyon

4. Burning Man

5. Cinco de Mayo

6. Devon UK - soldier's island

7. Texan rodeo - tractor pull and bull rides

8. Belvedere Castle - New York

9. New Orleans - Mardi Gras

10. Las Vegas - casinos and live shows

11. See Ranger Naked (crossed off)

12. Elope (crossed off)

13. Do bucket list activities with Stephanie

Edna prayed for strength to make it through the following year. They said she could live between six months and two years. There wasn't an exact science to determine lifespan. It was based on probabilities and statistics.

Stephanie Plum was in the on-phase of her relationship with Joseph Morelli, a local Italian boy who took her virginity at sixteen. She had dated him off and on for the past two years. They had broken up and gotten back together more times than Stephanie had shot her gun. What did that say about her? Stephanie referred to the list of vehicles she carried in a notebook inside her purse. She had a duplicate book locked inside the drawer of her Rangeman cubicle desk.

"Fifty times," she mumbled. After losing Ranger's Porsche Boxster, Stephanie kept a list of vehicles destroyed over the past two years. Morelli and Stephanie break ups coincided with the demise of her latest piece of shit vehicle. At what point should Stephanie end her relationship with Morelli once and for all?

"What was that, Cupcake?" Joe asked.

"Oh. Nothing," Stephanie replied. "Where do you see us in five years?" Stephanie called it morbid curiosity. She wanted to know what Joe wanted. Stephanie didn't know what she wanted from life, but it didn't involve marriage or children with Joseph Morelli. She knew their relationship was toxic. Joe and Stephanie dated off and on for too long. Neither was willing to fully commit to the other. It was time to end their love story. Or horror story depending on how you view the relationship. Joe would never accept her job or friendship with her Merry Men.

"Living in my house, raising three boys," he readily answered. Stephanie felt the anxiety build deep inside. Goosebumps erupted across her skin. Sweat appeared on her brow. She took many deep breaths to calm her nerves. "Our children would resemble me. I hope none of them inherit your crazy hair. Morelli genes are strong."

Joe didn't notice Stephanie panicking. He was too busy imagining their future together. Stephanie would be the perfect Burg wife; staying at home to raise their boys. Joe wanted three sons, no daughters. He would teach them to pursue women and train their wives to be Burg women. Of course, he'd need Helen to help prepare Stephanie for that role. Takeout gets expensive. The cost isn't exorbitant with just the two of them, but when they have additional mouths to feed, Stephanie would need to learn how to cook.

Stephanie could read Joe's thoughts as though written on the skyline. She always balked at becoming a Burg wife and mother. Staying home to tend to the house and raise children didn't appeal to her. Stephanie needed room to fly. She'd go crazy getting stuck in a house with tiny humans wreaking havoc. Joe interrupted Stephanie's thoughts by pulling her into a passionate kiss. He was an adequate lover, not as thorough as Ranger, but he got the job done.

Joe distracted Stephanie from her thoughts. He touched her in a way he never had before, effectively getting her to concentrate on his actions. It was the first time Joe sucked her breasts. Joe pulled out all the stops to distract Stephanie.

When he pulled from Stephanie, she felt dampness on the sheets and her ass. It was the first time that had happened during sex. Stephanie was furious and hoped the condom broke instead of Joe riding bareback. She expected Joe to lean over the bed to throw away the condom, but he wanted to cuddle. There was no condom. She turned away from Joe to wipe the tears off her face. Maybe they got too caught up in the moment to use protection.

He pressed against Stephanie's back and said, "I hope you don't mind that I didn't use a condom. You're not on birth control, and I want to start our family as soon as possible. We'll get married after the pregnancy test says you're pregnant."

"What? How could you do that to me?" Stephanie screamed. Joe intentionally rode bareback. He had attempted to take away her choices; to force Stephanie to become a mother. Just because he never found birth control packs did not mean she wasn't on birth control. Joe didn't know Stephanie got the birth control shots."What made you think I wanted children?" She stopped short of adding with you. Stephanie was positive she'd let Ranger talk her into carrying his baby. Children scared her, but she knew Ranger would be a hand-on father, unlike Morelli.

"Cupcake, you didn't offer your opinion regarding marriage and children. I assumed you wanted the same future as me," Joe said, feeling hurt. "You're thirty-two. We need to start our family now, before you get too old." Is he serious? Stephanie never kept not wanting marriage or children a secret. He obviously never listened to a word she said. She was done.

Stephanie jumped out of bed to get dressed. She wanted to take a hot shower to wash away his scent and semen. Stephanie had to get far away from Joe before she said or did something she'd regret. "No, Joe. I don't. You know better than to mistake my silence as consent," Stephanie said as she pulled Ranger's shirt over her head. Stephanie pulled on her yoga pants without panties. "We don't work, Joe. I can't believe you did this to me. I hope you didn't give me some disease." Stephanie felt violated. Joe didn't understand. He didn't love her. She loved Joe, but she wasn't in love with Joe. Stephanie was in love with Ricardo Carlos Manoso.

"I'm clean. I have the tests to prove it." Stephanie was temporarily relieved. She held out her hand to see for herself. Joe rubbed his forehead before passing her the proof he stored in his nightstand. Why did he have it in the bedroom? How many women had Joe entertained to necessitate keeping the test close at hand? Stephanie read the paper, then gave it back. "Where are you going?" Joe asked as he pulled on his track pants. Stephanie left the bedroom after collecting her hamper and clothes.

"Home," Stephanie replied. "I have to take my grandma to her appointment tomorrow morning." While Stephanie was at the clinic, she planned to get tests to prove she was clean. Joe was not celibate during their off times. He always used that time to screw as many women as possible. Joe got the test a month before they got back together. It wasn't recent enough to ensure she didn't catch something from him.

"It's about Manoso, isn't it?" Joe snapped.

"No, Joe. Ranger has nothing to do with my decision. Tonight, you took away my choices. I don't trust you anymore. I'm not sure if I could even be your friend," Stephanie replied, crying. She angrily wiped the tears off her face. Why does everything make her want to cry?

Stephanie could feel a sudden shift in the atmosphere. The sudden pressure change set off her spidey sense. Something big was about to happen. Something more significant than the demise of her relationship with Joe.

"We can make it work," Joe begged.

"Joe, we always have to try too hard. The wrong person makes you beg for attention, affection, love and commitment. The right person give you these things because they love you," Stephanie said. "Listen to yourself, Joe. You're begging for a commitment. I know you love me, and I truly do love you, but I don't believe we are in love with each other."

"You're probably right," Joe confessed.

"I am right, Joe. I'm sorry for wasting your time. We spent countless months trying to make something work to please our families. You could have used that time to find a more suitable woman to marry and raise your children. It's time for both of us to move on," Stephanie said. She packed the rest of her toiletries in her laundry basket as Joe watched. Stephanie would miss their friendship, but not his need to control her life.

Before she left Joe's house, she kissed him for the last time. "I'm sorry it couldn't be you. Stay safe, Cupcake," Joe sadly said.

"You too, Joe. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," Stephanie replied. Stephanie opened the backseat door and put the hamper on the seat. She didn't look back as she drove away.

Joe called out, "Stephanie," but she ignored him. She refused to look back. Her future was ahead of her, not standing on Morelli's front step.

Stephanie's phone rang when she was a block away from her apartment. She wiggled her hips to the tune of LMFAO's song, Sexy and I Know It. The music made her miss hearing the Batman theme. "Hello, Les. You're on speakerphone." Stephanie stopped at the red light and waited for Lester to reply.

"Beautiful, are you okay?" Lester asked. Stephanie grinned. She wondered where they hid the tracker. Lester and Hector made it a game. They wanted to see if she could locate the device. The light turned green before she could search.

"I'm fine, Les. Why are you calling?" she asked. Stephanie never used the passenger side mirror. At the stop sign, she flipped the visor down, then opened the mirror. A small black button got attached to the inside of the mirror cover. Clever. She plucked it from the visor and waved it. Stephanie knew Lester would see she found the tracker.

Lester grinned at Stephanie. He'd have to tell Hector she found it within minutes of his call. "Bobby and I are on patrol. We saw you drive past us, wiping your face. Are you okay?" Lester asked again. On patrol. Right. They got ordered to follow her. The men were more attentive and stalker-ish whenever Ranger was away on a mission. Ranger finished the op but had not returned home yet.

"As I already said, I'm fine. You and Bobby can come over for a bit if you want. I could use the company tonight. Is Ranger back?"