CHAPTER 1 - Fateful Meetings and How to Initiate Them

It was a warm day in March.

A light breeze ruffled the surrounding Yamazakura and the pink petals gently swirled to the ground. The canopy of blossoms let through golden rays of sunlight as they shifted following the rhythm of the wind. The view from the mountain path was full of blushing sakura and clear blue sky, creating the illusion of walking amongst clouds. The only sound that could be heard was the quiet rustle of the branches -

"UWAAAAAAAAGHH!"

The war cry broke the silence (and a tree trunk) and Gintoki wondered for the umpteenth time just what kind of stomach Yato had. There's simply no way that any human food could produce that much energy, no matter the quantity of it a certain Yato had always eaten.

"KAGURA-CHAAN!" A shrill scream followed soon after.

Gintoki now wondered if owning a voice capable of producing such high decibel sounds qualified one for a bona fide straight man. Then again, if it only gets you to the eighth place maybe it should be a hundred decibels higher? He was only a straight man on occasion, so he really didn't know the science behind it.

He was promptly awoken from his musings by a twirling mass of bodies consisting of Kagura, Shinpachi and Sadaharu. With no way for his sleep deprived body to get out of their trajectory fast enough, he was toppled and ultimately crushed under their weight. It did however squish his face against Sadaharu's soft fur, and that combined with a shortening supply of oxygen led him to (fall unconscious) take a nap right there and then.

"Gin-chan, don't die yet!" he heard Kagura say. "Not before you pay us for this job, baldie!" Even though her voice was tearful, her words sure weren't.

He sighed as she shook him, making his brain bounce inside his skull. "You're gonna be the bald one, it runs in your family. And if you don't want me to die, stop trying to kill me." Usually, he would've shouted and smacked her right back, but today was not that day.

Shinpachi was looking at them from above, not impressed by his behavior. "Were you out late drinking again, Gin-san? Aren't you too old for something like that?" He fixed his real body with his middle finger. The only other time he acted so seriously was when it concerned Otsu-chan. Gintoki didn't know whether to feel honored or just sad.

So, Gin-san's behavior can be explained by something like this, Gintoki thought to himself. That was not bad at all, Gin-san believed you could do it, Shinpachi!

"What would wet-behind-their-ears kids still know about the sacred art of late night drinking!" He jumped to his feet as soon as Kagura started shuffling through his yukata in search of the money.

Gintoki put his hands on his hips and proudly exclaimed, "It's more than just drinking! There's also snacks and desserts and research and attracting new customers and desserts - "

Two kicks to his back sent him headfirst into the ground.

He heard Kagura and Shinpachi cracking their knuckles.

"Don't worry, Gin-san will use this money to do some research at the pachinko - GUAH!" This time Gintoki stayed silent about the various way he could waste spend money, and only yelped as the other two pummeled him to the ground. Sadaharu just yawned and lazily trotted down the mountain path. He deemed the silver ball unworthy of even a single bite.

The kids soon grew tired of the routine and followed after Sadaharu. "Jeez, Gin-san. You better not stay out too late drinking, otherwise you'll be exhausted the next day." Shinpachi could be angry all he wanted, but he couldn't suppress his almost motherly worry.

"That's right, Gin-chan! Or all your hair will fall out and you'll die alone!" Kagura helpfully chipped in.

"Kagura-chan, your hair won't fall out because of that."

"So, you'll die alone?"

"Well..."

Their voices started fading away as they got farther away from Gintoki.

Despite being tired, kicked, bruised and squished, Gintoki felt quite blissful. No, he was not a masochist, he was still very much a sadist. The gentle breeze, smell of falling petals and the brightness of a sunny day along with the sounds of voices and barking made him feel at peace. Like he was in heaven.

Not that he would tell that to a living soul.

He slowly picked himself up from the ground and looked in the distance at his family. It was the only word that could describe them, really. If they weren't family, then the grass was not green, the sky was not blue, and he certainly didn't have a silver natural perm (Mother Nature could've really skipped the last one).

With no one around, he allowed his emotions to show true on his face. His lips slowly spread into a gentle smile and the look in his eyes softened. His whole body relaxed and at that moment everything felt all right. Just the way it should be.

And then the moment was broken.

He felt a sudden presence to his left. He swiftly turned around, one hand on his bokuto and prepared to strike if necessary. How could I let myself get distracted like an idiot, Gintoki berated himself. It was one of the rare times he didn't feel the presence of a possible enemy. He looked towards the cause of his distress.

It was a man. He was lying down beneath a blooming Yamazakura. He was wearing casual clothes, a simple black yukata with no weapon in sight, though by the looks of his physique and posture Gintoki surmised he was well versed in some type of combat, if not multiple. Even while lying down, he looked battle ready.

Still, Gintoki felt no murderous intent from the man. If anything, he could only recognize deep confusion in the man's frown. His eyes were wide open and his mouth only slightly so. His eyes were fixed on Gintoki, watching his every move. Gintoki had never seen this man before, so he didn't know what he'd done to warrant such a reaction. Regardless, he wasn't about to spend his day staring at a pretty boy who looked like he walked straight out of Takamagahara. A hostess from Snack Smile would be a different story. Though he only knew of one lady who would stare at him in a similar manner as the unknown man and he wasn't too thrilled about that, either.

Gintoki turned around without a word as he let go of his bokuto and tucked his left arm in his yukata. He felt no movement from the man behind him. It appeared he wouldn't attack him. Maybe stare him to death. But Gintoki could take that. He relaxed and trailed after Kagura, Shinpachi and Sadaharu. They might've forgotten he was even there, because by now he could barely make out their shapes in the distance. Ungrateful brats. He will for sure spend (and triple) the job money gambling with Hasegawa tonight.

He didn't know how long the man stayed there.

Nor was he interested in knowing that fact.

"... and as The Empire's envoy is said to arrive in one month's time, the preparations are well under way, are they not, Hanano Saki-san?"

"That is correct. As you can see, a grand celebration will be held right at this location to commemorate the alliance between - "

The channel switched from a news segment to a popular evening drama, Crimson Heart: Ryo. It was one of the most watched dramas of all time, meaning everyone and their grandma tuned in. It was no exception for Kagura and Shinpachi. Although Gintoki tried to keep his eyes open to watch, they just wouldn't listen and closed immediately after the channel switch.

"It's starting!" Kagura shouted and Shinpachi barged into the living room with sukonbu and tea. "Hurry up, Glasses!"

She grabbed a pack of sukonbu and Shinpachi held the teacup tightly in his hands. "Oh I can't wait to see what'll happen with the fourth prince", Shinpachi said excitedly. "I hope the ritual goes really well. Right, Gin-san?"

"Ugh, I don't care what happens to the emo boy", Kagura interrupted. "Unless he gets his act together, Hay Soo is gonna end up with that cheating bastard."

"No way! She's gonna end up with the fourth prince and they'll live happily ever after", Shinpachi argued back, not even noticing that Gintoki's been quiet all this time.

They continued their back and forth, the episode slowly trickling by. Gintoki couldn't figure out for the life of him how they could bicker like that and still know what happened each episode. It's like they had an extra pair of eyes and ears just for this occasion. Though Gintoki was also invested at this point (whether Hay Soo will end up with emo boy or cheating bastard), he decided to instead head downstairs to Otose's snack shop for a couple of drinks.

"Don't wait up", he yelled back at them. Judging by the sounds of their increased argument, they probably didn't hear him or even noticed he'd stood up and left.

He opened the door leading to the outside and stepped out in the chilly night. His breath fogged up the air in front of him. The streets of Kabukicho were silent since everyone was glued to their TVs right about now. There was a muffled sound of people chatting coming from down below. Gintoki figured the only people who didn't watch the show all gathered in the snack bar. Probably old geezers who got drunk on workdays.

Not that he was any different.

I'll just drink enough to help me sleep, Gintoki thought to himself. Sleeping wasn't exactly an issue. It was the dreams that came along with it. A drink or two usually helped with that and he had been able to have dreamless nights.

As of late that changed. As of late meaning after Takasugi and Shoyo -

Gintoki shook his head like he was trying to physically get rid of such intrusive thoughts. He climbed down the stairs and entered the shop. The sounds from inside spilled out on the street, shortly breaking the silence before he closed the door behind him.

"Well, what do we have here?" Gintoki heard a familiar voice with a thick (and probably forced) accent. Like having cat ears wasn't a unique enough character trait. "You look even more dead fish eyed than usual, Sakata-shi", Katherine smirked at him.

"I don't want to hear that from a character that wastes a perfectly good pair of cat ears", Gintoki drawled. "And waste is a pretty generous word for it."

"What did you say, you bastard!?" She slammed the bottle she was pouring for a customer on the table with a loud thud. "You wanna go outside, huh!?" The men sitting around the table in suits and ties around their head started shaking in fear, the blush from drinking fading from their faces.

He ignored Katherine and sat down at the counter and turned towards Otose. "Why do you still keep that cat thief around, old hag? She's even scaring away customers", he pointed behind him as a few men slowly rose from the table and made a beeline towards the exit.

"Who are you calling an old hag, perm head?" Otose replied, cleaning a cup behind the counter as she usually does. "Besides, those aren't regulars. They just aren't used to her violent personality."

"No curly bastard's right, if a dictionary was a picture book, the picture under old hag would be you", Katherine confidently said, earning her a smack on the head from Otose who threw the glass she was cleaning. "Who's violent now, baba!?"

Otose sighed and started pouring a drink for Gintoki who was leaning on the counter, a hand cupping his cheek and the other one busy looking for treasure in his nose. "Clean the mess you made, Katherine", Otose scolded her. "And put that money you stashed in your pocket where it actually belongs."

"Tch. Just wait until..." The rest was too quiet to hear, but Gintoki could guess what Katherine was saying. He almost chuckled but stopped himself in time.

What was wrong with him today? He certainly wasn't acting like a shounen protagonist. There was no place for him to lovingly gaze at people or chuckle at their antics. Or maybe that's what usual shounen protagonists do and he's straying from the norm?

No way, he thought to himself. He didn't see other shounen protagonists do that. Though they were always getting into fights and powered up every Saturday. Gintoki couldn't remember the last time he'd done that. No, if he actually ever even did power up. Wait, what does powering up even mean? Learning Rasengan? Getting a bankai? Maybe his stats were maxed out from the start, and he couldn't get any stronger. Like all those web novel titles, 'I was born in this world with maxed out stats so I can never level up again, but wait my pants can power up?', or something along those lines.

His head felt like it was going to explode. That was enough thinking for the day, Gintoki decided.

He reached for the drink to cool his head, or at least distract his mind from going back to overthinking, but Otose swiped it in front of him. "Pay up first, you no good perm." He clicked his tongue but pulled out the money from today's job. His share, of course. The rest, Kagura and Shinpachi's share was in a secret place that even he forgot about from time to time. What better way to keep the money safe from himself than to hide it so well he actually forgot about it.

The problem was that he forgot to pay his employees, too.

"Here", he slammed a few bills on the table and took the drink, almost finishing it in a couple of gulps. Ah, he felt all those pesky thoughts melting away.

"Will the sun rise from the west tomorrow?" Otose sarcastically remarked. "I suppose there's no money for this month's rent?"

"Ugh, give me a break. It's not even due yet", Gintoki complained. "When have I ever paid up front? C'mon, baba, you know me better than that", he mockingly fluttered his eyelashes as the alcohol slowly took effect. He hoped the feeling of lightness would follow him to his sleep.

"You act like it's a good thing", Otose shook her head disapprovingly. "I can't tell what kind of atrocities you're teaching your kids upstairs. They're already taking so much after you." Even though Otose was berating him, he didn't miss a smile forming on her lips before quickly disappearing.

Gintoki chuckled, this time not trying to stop it. "Well, whose fault is it that I'm here, being a bad influence? You better take responsibility, old hag."

Otose didn't say anything. Suddenly, the air around them became tense. Gintoki frowned at the sudden shift in the atmosphere. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that. That's gross. I wouldn't do it for 300 yen. Even for 400. Maybe 500 - "

"You idiot perm!" He got smacked across the back of his head. "I was crazy to worry about someone like you, after all", Otose said as she took out a cigarette and lit it up, drawing and exhaling a cloud of smoke. "I should've guessed that any serious talk would be impossible with a fool like you."

"You? Worried about me? Ha!" Gintoki couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like the sun will definitely rise from the west tomorrow." Even as he grinned, he couldn't help but feel a bit of panic set in. Did she know? If she did, how much? He could always count on her to almost read his mind, but that didn't mean he wanted her to.

And he had a perfect solution to stop her from doing so.

"Why don't you worry about yourself, old hag. You look like you could drop at any moment and that cat thief will use it to bleed you dry of anything you own."

"You're right about that, Sakata-shi!" Katherine chipped in without an ounce of shame.

"OI! You ungrateful bastards, both of you!"

They fought and drank and laughed until late into the night. Gintoki stepped out, at the same time feeling better and feeling dread at what's about to come. The cold air, much colder than before, hit him and made him shiver almost instantly. A cloud of mist formed in front of him as he exhaled, and he hurried towards the stairs.

"Gintoki-sama?"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. He was greeted with a sight of Tama holding a broom. Was this really the time to clean the entrance of the shop, Gintoki wondered. In the middle of night?

She didn't say anything else. If anything, it looked like she was waiting for Gintoki to say something first. She stared at him, her hand slowly reaching into her hair to touch one particular screw.

Gintoki chuckled. He didn't know whether it was from the feeling of happiness or defeat. He was like an open book in front of her sometimes, but it was a two-way street. He could pretty much guess what Tama wanted from him. However, he wasn't sure if that was also something he wanted. He ruffled her hair. "Good night, Tama."

He thought about Otose and Tama. It seemed that whenever something ailed him, they had front row tickets to the show. He had better work on his masking game.

"Gintoki-sama", Tama said in her robotic yet warm voice. "I will always be here. This will forever be our home. As long as you are here, you will wipe away my tears and if need be, I'm prepared to do the same." Gintoki admired the way such sentiments could spill out of her mouth as effortlessly as sakura petals fluttering to the ground. While he wasn't capable of such a feat, he was grateful for Tama's unparalleled understanding, so he simply nodded.

Tama smiled.

"Good night, Gintoki-sama."

So, the alcohol helped for about ten minutes.

It went as well as Gintoki had expected.

He quietly got ready for bed, as he didn't want to wake up Kagura and Sadaharu from their slumber. At some point, probably after the drama episode ended, Shinpachi returned home. Gintoki felt a pang of guilt and worry about the fact but he thoroughly squished it.

He lazily brushed his teeth, dragged himself in his light green pajamas and plopped down into the futon.

He waited for the alcohol to take him to dream(less)land.

He laid still for some time as he felt the darkness overtaking his senses. His head was void of any thoughts and his limbs felt numb, but in a good way. He felt waves of sleep wash over his body, almost like a silent lullaby. Gintoki sighed in satisfaction.

He fell asleep.

That didn't last long, though.

He lurched awake as an intense sound cut through the silence. It wasn't loud, but Gintoki could feel its vibrations through the floor and knew the force behind it was great.

It came from the living room.

Gintoki sighed and threw the sheets off in exasperation. It was probably Kagura with her inability to fall asleep again. Or maybe she fell out of the closet again. He should really get her another place to sleep, now that she's got bigger. He opened the door and stepped into the living room.

"Kagura - "

He froze.

It was dark and his eyes needed time to adjust. It was quiet and he felt no movement. However, a sense of dread filled him almost immediately upon entering the room.

It was the smell of blood.

Horrid stench that permeated every cell of his being. It must've been so much blood. His limbs refused to move, and he stood in place as shock overwhelmed him. He was a war veteran. Even after the war, he fought many battles. But nothing could prepare him for this. Not the sword practice in dojo, the sparring, the skirmishes in war. Nothing.

Kagura.

He knew he should hurry. However, he moved painfully slow. It felt like he was moving through mud, as if an invisible force was trying to tell him to turn back. He willed himself to move forward, but each step felt like it lasted a lifetime.

Kagura.

His heartbeat defeaned all sound, as if there were any from the start. Everything was still, and he wanted it to be loud and bright and rowdy and obnoxious and chaotic -

Anything but this.

This isn't them. Just today, they were chasing after a lost Amanto pet, Kagura was crushing trees and Shinpachi was shouting his head off. Why? Why couldn't things stay the same, in a safe bubble? Gintoki knew that when he looked behind the couch that all of it would come crashing down and he would never be happy again and he would never smile again, and he would never live again.

Kagura.

He looked at her. She didn't look like herself. She didn't look like she was sleeping. Her eyes were still open, and they were looking at him. Not with her usual annoyance or anger or love.

They were empty.

Like he was.

In that moment, a scream tore through the night.

Only it was silent.

"Gin-chan?"

Gintoki opened his eyes, panting.

He was drenched in sweat. His silver curls were sticking to his wet forehead and even though his heart was beating like crazy, he felt bloodless, still stuck in that nightmare. So, when he heard her voice calling his name, he was on the verge of tears.

Her face hovered over his, her concerned look piercing his heart.

He coughed awkwardly, trying to ignore his constricting throat.

He needed to get out now.

"I'm fine. Sorry for waking you up", he said weakly. He lifted his upper body from underneath the covers. His mind wasn't racing but was running a marathon for an excuse. It was a marathon because it sure wasn't coming up with anything anytime soon.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Kagura asked. "I get them sometimes, Gin-chan, but you've been having them ever since..."

She didn't finish her sentence. She didn't need to. He knew what she was talking about. He felt regret because she knew. No, he let it show.

Gintoki made an exaggerated I-got-it expression as a lightbulb lit up above his head. "I guess the past two years have been too peaceful for me. You know, no poop-scooping, no need to throw my money into a black hole of someone's stomach - "

Kagura smashed the lightbulb onto his head.

"YOU CALLING ME A GLUTTON?!" She grabbed the collar of his pjs and started shaking him like a doll. "A growing lady needs all the nutrients to help her develop into a beauty!"

"You sure as hell aren't gonna be Miss Universe so might as well give up now - " He again got interrupted as Kagura pushed him away and got up. Gintoki wasn't in as much pain as he was in the start when Kagura started living with him, probably because he developed a resistance to her punches and kicks and throws... He really did get beat up a lot. And maybe Kagura started pulling her punches a bit after a while. He really hoped it was the latter because he didn't want such an unusual resistance. It would look weird on his character sheet.

"I hate you, Gin-chan!" She stormed out of the room and shut the door behind her. Loudly. Poor walls shook with the impact.

Gintoki felt bad. Just a bit. Teeny tiny bit.

He got up and followed after her to the closet. The doors were closed, of course.

"I'm going out for a walk. Do you need anything?" He asked nonchalantly.

He could hear a puff of annoyance through the closet doors. "What would I need in the middle of the night?"

"Maybe I could pick up some sukonbu?"

"Hmph! We already have that", Kagura replied, but he could hear a hint of excitement in her voice. He had to hold back his laughter.

"Well, I was just thinking about having late-night-hotpot with some premium meat but if you're fine with sukonbu..."

The doors flew open. "You're the best, Gin-chan!" Kagura squeezed him tightly and returned to bed. "You better come back quickly." She shut the door behind her. Though he could still hear her giggles.

Gintoki sighed in relief. It seems Kagura wasn't really angry about what he said before.

"I'll be back soon."

He got dressed and picked up his wallet. My poor pachinko money, he sighed mentally.

When he got back, with the best meat he could find at this ungodly hour, he found (or rather heard) Kagura sound asleep. He didn't feel like waking her up, so he stored the meat in the freezer. I might as well invite Shinpachi and those two from downstairs, he thought to himself. The more the merrier. Besides, he had a whole notebook with thought-out strategies about how to eat the most meat. He'll definitely be the Hotpot Shogun this time around.

He felt too wired to sleep from that nightmare. It was a recurring one with the only change being the person he found. He somehow always knew who it would be even before he saw them.

He rubbed his face. He didn't know how much longer he'd endure this.

Sure, he had nightmares from the war. It would be even weirder if he hadn't. But these days not only were they more frequent, they were more gruesome and horrible. They weren't failures that haunted him from the past, but almost an inescapable future. He felt like it was only a matter of time before his nightmares came true.

He shuddered at the thought.

The walls around him started closing in on him and he felt his breathing quicken.

He somehow stumbled through the house to the entrance. Kagura was still snoring, seemingly oblivious to his misfortune. It should stay like that, Gintoki thought. I can't make them worry about me. It's my fault.

Although the fresh night air helped, it still wasn't enough. Gintoki really felt he would lose his mind at that point.

He knew of one thing that would certainly help him sleep. Even if only for a little while. It was his well-kept secret. Not a single soul had found out about it, not even the rest of Joui Four and Shoyo. His medicine. His escape. Whatever he'd call it, so far, it'd never failed him.

A sword dance.

Gintoki sort of cringed at the name. Not because the activity itself was embarrassing. He just wasn't the kind of guy who'd have words like elegant and refined stuck next to his name. Sure, he could handle a sword, but the best he could do related to dancing was wave colorful fans around and move like a bird during mating rituals back at the Kamakko club. So, calling it a sword dance may be an insult to dancers all around the world. Well, it's a secret for a reason.

However, the few times in his life he actually did it, he instantly felt better. The time when Shoyo was taken away and the time Tatsuma lost his ability to wield a sword. It gave him strength to push forward. He didn't know the reason why. It felt almost nostalgic, like a memory stored deep within his soul. It felt precious and fragile as if it would crumble away into nothingness if he pondered on it too much.

It was a cold, but clear night; the stars in the sky were shining brightly and the moon ever more so. Its light colored the meadow in otherworldly blue tones, a contrast to the darkened trees that surrounded it. He had discovered the clearing recently, during his night walk which've started to become quite a common occurrence. Ever since then, when the nightmares became unbearable, he'd come and... well, do his thing.

No one knew about this place. It wasn't hidden or anything. It was just a normal plane of grass and trees and flowers a mile away from Kabukicho. But because it was so mundane, it didn't catch the eye of anyone except Gintoki. He could let loose here, without random people being the audience to his poor performance.

Whatever, Gintoki thought. It's not like I'm doing it because I think I'm good at it or anything. Still, being talented could have helped with his initial embarrassment. Though he guessed his skill with the sword makes up for a part of it.

A gentle wind blew through the meadow, almost as if urging him to begin. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He then grabbed the handle of his bokuto and slowly exhaled as he pulled it from his waistband. The wood of the sword shone with a faint glow, reflecting the light of the full moon. He extended it in front of him as he focused on the blade, trying to make it an extension of his own body. It felt light and natural like it was right where it needed to be.

Here goes nothing.

The dance always began with a step forward. His fingers glided along the smooth wooden surface as he pulled the sword behind him, as if striking an invisible enemy. He turned his head to follow the trajectory of the blade, his maroon gaze fixed on it while his feet created arcs in the ground. His white yukata billowed out around him, glimmering in the night, all but overshadowing the gentle flicker of the stars. His locks danced around his face with a will of their own as they shone brilliantly, and the dazzling silver of his hair burned brighter than the moon.

Gintoki's lips were slightly parted in concentration and his eyes half-lidded, sometimes following the path of the blade and sometimes staring off into the distance, never once losing their enthralling glint. His face donned a relaxed expression, and it became more content every time his sword pierced through the chilly night air.

There was no music his body adhered to, yet he moved in perfect rhythm. Each step was executed in an identical fashion as all the times he'd danced before. He did it subconsciously, as if he was mirroring someone else, following in their steps.

Turn, step, turn and swing.

Those simple commands melted away in his mind. What was left was only comfort. He was reminded of this afternoon, when he looked at Kagura and Shinpachi and felt affection warm his heart. The moonlight and the silver meadow faded away, replaced by golden sunlight and a blush of sakura trees. Laughter and chatter filled the silence. He stayed in that moment, cherishing it as he continued to move, free and unbound.

He was home.

And as the night slowly changed into day with the rising sun, so did his nightmares dwindle into oblivion, as if they'd never plagued his mind. He stopped moving and turned his face towards the east as the gentle light shone upon his face. His appearance was now the same as usual, down-to-earth, different from the ethereal one he'd had during the night. However, his smile was more dazzling than the silver moon and the golden sun combined.

Well that worked. Again.

Gintoki sighed and ruffled his hair. He felt like he was doing the walk of shame. He was walking. And he was a bit ashamed. But it worked, didn't it!? And it didn't hurt anyone. Only my pride. His saving grace was no one being forced to watch his twirling and swirling. He felt like he was a seven-year-old doing a dance routine in front of their whole family, only in this situation actually being aware that it was bad. Ha.

He sulked on the way home, but not even his berating thoughts could cloud his smiling expression. And maybe it was for that combination of bliss and embarrassment, but in a span of a single day, Gintoki did not notice another presence on the meadow.