All Characters are owned by Stephenie Meyers!
Edward's POV
Eighty years.
Eighty years, and too many unshed tears to count. They had gone by excruciatingly slow, and I hadn't felt alive since then. I hadn't seen her face anywhere but in my head- where she would remain, unchanged, for all of eternity. And I looked upon that as little as possible-which was still too much to bear.
"Edward pleeease go with Emmett and Jasper. You need to go hunting. I won't let you do this." Alice pulled on my arm, pouting at me. They always had to push me to anything- to go hunting, to leave the house- to speak.
"Fine." I growled. I pulled Alice, who was overjoyed at the fact that I was simply going hunting for the first time in months, off of my arm.
"I'll go tell the guys." Alice sprinted away, face glowing.
I wished I could be happy. I truly wished that I didn't feel this way all the time; but I could not even begin to stop loathing myself. I knew the way I acted brought everyone, especially poor jasper, down with me. Jasper….I hadn't been able to be I the same room with him for more than an hour for the longest time, and it just made me hate myself more. That, and I could not bear to do anything that might remind me of her. I hadn't even attended school for the last-
"EDWARD!" I heard Alice's shrill voice from downstairs. I stood up from the window seat, and walked across my empty room. Though we had lived in this house for over a year, my room was still as empty as the first day we moved in. The other's rooms were filled with their belongings, but I no longer cared about feeling like I belonged anywhere when I knew in a few years, we would leave again.
When I got downstairs, Emmett and Jasper where waiting for me, and Esme was at the bottom of the stairs, ready to give me a hug. Edward she thought We all love you so much. You should know how much we care about you. She hugged me.
"I'm sorry." I murmured. She looked up at me and turned to everyone.
"Well, go on you guys. And try to have fun." She emphasized the word fun, and swung her eyes back around to me.
"Come on Edward, last one to the jeep is a…is a wet dog!" Emmett turned and ran out to the jeep, and Jasper followed suite, but his reference to wet dog reminded me of someone from a different lifetime. Someone who probably was still alive and with… I felt my knees bend slightly, as if another ton of weight had just been put upon my shoulders.
Esme noticed. "He didn't mean it, he probably doesn't even know that it hurt you. Go on Edward, darling, please. You're weak. Your eyes are blacker than anyone's should ever get too. You're starving yourself." She squeezed me into another hug, attempting to comfort me. I hadn't felt this horrible since I had gone to the Volturi. I had tried to kill myself by exposing what I was to the human bystanders, but Alice had seen me just in time to ruin my plans for my release. Sometimes, I'd rather my plans had not gone awry, but I was here, and I knew I'd probably be here for a long time.
I released Esme from the hug, and walked slowly away to get into the jeep. I almost felt I smile on my face from the sheer irony.
But just almost.
I was the wet dog.
A/N Please review! I love it when you do!
If you have read her new book, "The Host" I have written the first fanfic, and it can be found under Misc. Books called, "Wandering Through your Heart" THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO REVIEW!!
