August 28 was a big and important day for Lori Loud, the kind of day that comes around only once in a lifetime, the kind you remember forever.
It was the day she went to college.
Of course, putting that way - went to college - might be a little misleading. She didn't travel halfway across the country to live in a dorm room with a bunch of other girls. No, nothing as grand as that. August 28 was the day she started at Royal Woods Community College. It was a small school with no live in facilities. Seen from the shaded, tree lined street running in front of it, it was a single brick building with a pitched roof, big windows, and vines growing up the stone facade like some kind of green, leafy tattoo. The building had been erected in 1918 as a hospital and was converted into a college in 1971, after the hospital closed. There were whispered rumors in town that the place had featured a psych ward where the mentally ill were subjected to horrifying procedures like lobotomies and shock treatment. There was one treatment that involved them being locked in a big box full of water, with only their heads sticking out. Lori forgot what it was called (if she ever knew in the first place), but she'd read about it elsewhere, in a novel, maybe.
Because even the happiest, cleanest, and most above board hospitals are places of death and suffering, RWCC was said to be haunted. People claimed to see eerie blue lights in the attic windows at night, and local folklore had it that you could hear footsteps in the halls at times. The second floor was supposedly home to the spirit of a little girl who died there sometime in the nineteen twenties. Carol. Lori's best friend, had worked summers at the college three years running, readying it for the fall semester, and she said that there were random cold spots that made the hair on the back of your neck stand straight up. She also said that you'd catch random movements in the corner of your eye, but when you turned, there would be nothing there.
Ooooh, spooky.
Luckily for her, Lori didn't believe in ghosts. At least, that was the short answer. The longer answer was this: She doubted that ghosts existed, but if they did, they were likely an imprint on the fabric of time, kind of like a recording. See, everything in the world emits energy. You admit it, she admitted it, the roses in her mom's flower garden admitted it. It could be possible that when something traumatic happened - say, someone dying or being murdered - enough energy was generated to burn an image of sorts onto the fabric of time and space. If you saw, it wasn't a conscious spirit walking around looking to scare you like something from an old episode of Scooby-Doo, it was just a reply of something that happened a long time ago. Yeah, unsettling, but hardly something to be afraid of.
But even that was an unlikely answer. Lori allowed for the existence of things that science didn't understand - much less her - but come on, ghosts of any sort were a little much. Maybe something would happen at some point in her life to change her mind, but for right now,, she was a centered and practical girl who had to see it in order to believe it, really believe it. She was the same way with the concept of God. It was possible, but she didn't know. He had never spoken to her from a burning bush or sent an angel to read a proclamation to her from a piece of heavenly parchment. The only evidence she had seen for the existence of a higher power was circumstantial (at best) and supported by eye witness testimony from thousand year old scrolls found in desert caves. That didn't mean there was no God, but it did mean that she highly doubted there was. If she was wrong and she got to heaven after dying, well…she'd deal with that when she got there. Surely, if God existed, He would be a little more forgiving than the firebrands made him out to be, "LOL I get it, Lori, all that talking snakes and water to wine stuff was kind of sus. No hard feelings. C'mon in, we got pizza."
Thus was the state of Lori's mind by the time she started college.
Practical.
Rational.
She had always been that way, from as far back as she could remember. From her earliest years, she had always been responsible for her younger siblings, an army that grew seemingly every year. Okay, not "seemingly." Literally. She overused that word sometimes, but literally, her mother had a baby every year for a while. Lori, being the oldest, was automatically placed in a position of responsibility. Protect your sisters, Lori; make Lynn a bottle, Lori; change diapers, give advice, babysit, make dinner, on and on and on. Lori didn't mind it, especially back then, when she was actually in the thick of it, Helping with her younger siblings made her feel important and grown up. Her parents counted on her to help take care of her little sisters (and, eventually, her little brother), and for Lori, that was kind of an ego boost.
A lot of people around Lori's age seemed to relish being "children." They considered themselves kids well into their late teens and early twenties, and approached adulthood like it was some kind of meme. Not her. She was old fashioned in the sense that she had always wanted to appear "grown up." She was mature for her age and always looked forward to the day when she would control her own destiny. A lot of people, she thought, were too comfortable with the safety and security of being taken care of by someone else - their parents, a full scale university. Not Lori. She wanted to be responsible for her own life and everything that happened in it. Whether they succeeded or failed, stood or fell, she wanted the responsibility to rest entirely with her.
Another thing she had always looked forward to about adulthood was being on her own. She grew up watching old sitcoms about white people living in major cities. Friends, Seinfeld, a thousand others. They always had big, lavish apartments in good parts of town, and every day was an adventure. They were free to roam around and explore everything that New York or L.A. had to offer. There was something deeply appealing about that. She was especially enamored with NYC. It was such a special and unique place filled with its own charm and character. It was totally unlike the small town she had grown up with, and seemed to bristle with excitement.
Things had changed over the past couple of years, however, and NYC had become grittier, more dangerous. Every day, she heard reports of people being run over, shot, pushed in front of subway trains, robbed, beaten, and raped. She still loved the idea of NYC and really wanted to visit one day, but for the time being, it didn't seem like a suitable place to live.
Of course, there was a tny measure of sour grapes in that assessment. She originally wanted to go to college in the city and would have if it weren't for one teensy tiny thing.
Lincoln.
A while back - so long ago that it felt like decades but couldn't have been more than a year - Lori hosted a house party for all her friends and siblings while her parents were away. There was music, dancing, snacks…and alcohol. She didn't plan for alcohol, honest, it was Carol. She turned up at the party with so "adult beverages" and things went south from there. At least, that's how Lori remembered things. She got really drunk and everything about that evening was hazy, like a fog wrapped forest. She was pretty sure that she wasn't the one who brought alcohol to the party, since she wasn't even that big of a drinker, but she couldn't be 100 percent certain.
Either way, she got tore up from the floor up, as an early 2000s rapper might say, and she got really stupid.
So stupid that she came onto her own brother.
Again, she didn't remember it very well. Her memories were all murky. Her sisters (Luna and Luan, she thought) had to pull her off of him. They said she acted "inappropriately" and "like a real pervert." That night, while she was still buzzing, Lincoln came to her. One thing led to another and they had sex.
Now that memory was clear as a bell - strange saying, isn't it? Anyway, she remembered it very clearly. It might sound weird to an outsider, but it was the best experience of her life.
It was hard to admit at the time, but she had always carried a little bit of a flame for her brother, Lincoln. He was the sweetest, kindest guy she had ever known, and on a subconscious level, she had always wanted a man just like him. He was perfect in just about every way humanly possible…at least as far as she was concerned. No one is literally perfect except for Jesus Christ, and Lori wasn't even sure that he was real. However, Lincoln was perfect for her, and she looked to him for guidance on the kind of man she should choose.
In fact, one of the reasons she dated Bobby Santiago was because he reminded her a lot of Lincoln. Like Lincoln, he was kind, sweet, and easygoing. He made her feel good and for a long time, she was happy with him. However, looking back at that period of her life from the present time, she realized that he was little more than a pale imitation of the man she really wanted: Lincoln. It was like…wanting a Barbie but getting a cheap knock off from the dollar store. She didn't realize it at the time, but she was using Bobby as a substitute.
After she and Lincoln did what they did, they talked about what had happened and…long story short, they became an item. Boyfriend and girlfriend. A couple. Whatever you want to call it. Even now, if she thought too much about it, it was bizarre. In the natural order of things, you're not supposed to fall in love with your brother…and if you do feel some type of way, you're definitely not supposed to ever act on it. She and Lincoln had smashed that taboo to smithereens, however, and they had been living as man and woman for months.
It was wonderful.
Being with Lincoln made her feel alive. Being away from him, even for a little while, sent her into withdrawal and she could do nothing but ache and think of him. She spun grand fantasies of marrying him one day in a big, elaborate ceremony, but she knew in her heart of hearts that that would never happen. There would be no white dress, no flower girls, and no embarrassing best man toast for them. It's crazy, she knew, but in the US, you're not allowed to marry a close relative. Unfair, right? Everyone was so accepting of two consenting adults having sex and getting married until they shared DNA.
To be honest, Lori could understand why incest was illegal. Having said that, she didn't really care about the law or morality. She was in love with Lincoln and that was that. There was nothing that would change that. No amount of jail time, no fiery sermons, nothing. Lincoln was the light of her life and she couldn't change that no matter how hard she tried. When Cupid's arrow struck, it struck. It was, like, an act of God, or a force of nature. She knew that it was wrong, but she didn't give a crap.
Though they were young, given the nature of their relationship, she and Lincoln had already discussed the possibility of having children one day. A child born of incest is more likely than a normal child to develop complications. Lori didn't know how dramatic those complications might be, since every Google search she had ever launched had returned conflicting results, but she did know that it was risky. She wanted children one day, but she wasn't willing to gamble with her baby's health. If and when the time came, she and Lincoln would simply adopt. There were so many unloved and unwanted children out there. Why have one when you could adopt?
Of course, that was a concern for some future date. Right now, she and Lincoln were both still young and had a long way to go before they could even begin to worry about having kids…or even moving in together. Lincoln had just started middle school and she had at least four years to go before she would have her master's in business. By the time she was out of school, Lincoln would be just entering college himself, and she would still need a few years to get herself on her feet. A lot of young people think they'll come out of college and instantly get a good, high paying job. That rarely ever happens and Lori knew that. She expected to struggle for a couple of years before being able to afford as good house and all of the other suburban bells and whistles one must have before responsibly giving birth or adopting.
All of that would come in due time, but right now she and Lincoln both had to focus on building the foundation of heir lives. There was a saying that her grandfather Pop Pop always used: There's a time for everything. That, Lori had learned so far in life, was true. There was a season for everything, and right now was the season where she and Lincoln had to lay the groundwork for all future seasons. She, for one, was in no rush; their love was strong, their bond, forged through blood and romance, was even stronger. He wasn't going anywhere and neither was she.
Although, she had to admit that was a little impatient for the day when they could move in together. She was also nervous. If she and Lincoln kept up indefinitely - and they both planned to do so - their family and friends would eventually find out. People might find it weird if they got a house or apartment together. They could pass it off as a cost saving measure, or a remedy for loneliness, for only so long. Sooner or later, their relationship would have to come to light.
And that prospect scared the shit out of Lori.
Their parents and their siblings were generally progressive and understanding, but dating your brother, and having sex with him, is a line that you don't cross. She fully expected none of their family members to understand or to support their relationship. How stridently against it would they be? Lori wasn't sure. She couldn't see Mom and Dad disowning her and Lincoln over their relationship, but you never know how someone will act under extreme stress until they were actually under pressure. This wasn't something small and simple. If Lori came out as gay, she knew that they would accept her. But coming out as incestosexual? "Hey, guys, me and Lincoln are together now. You can just go ahead and think of us as married. That'd be great."
Yeah, she didn't think they would go for that.
Luckily, it would be a long time before they would have to find out. She didn't like putting things off until tomorrow - as a wise, wise man once said, what is today but yesterday's tomorrow? - but sometimes, it was easier to punt something down the pike than it was to face it. She tried not to do that too often, but this was a special case.
Because of all this, she and Lincoln had to be extremely careful with their relationship, especially with their sisters. They had seen the way Lori acted at the party and would be more likely to notice anything "funny" between them. A normal person wouldn't see a brother and sister being close and automatically think "Hmmm, they must be fucking each other." Only a weirdo would cook up something like that. Their sisters, however, having seen how Lori acted at the party, had reason to suspect the worst. Ever since they had gotten together, they had taken great pains to hide their relationship from the world. They made extra sure to act normally together - no hugging, kissing, or cute talk - and didn't spend too much time with one another. They had always been close but not so close that they were joined at the hip or anything. If that changed now - after the party - it might raise a few red flags.
That wouildn't do. If their sisters found out, there was no telling what might happen.
Lori was actually happy about starting college, as it would give her a little time to be away from Lincoln. Oh, she didn't like being apart from him but the less they were together, the less change they had of making some horrible mistake and exposing their forbidden love.
Over the summer, Lori looked into a number of nearby colleges, not wanting to go far so that she could still be with Lincoln. RWCC was always on her list of choices, but its business administration course wasn't the best. It was serviceable, but there were colleges in the area that were even better. All of those, however, were live in programs. She would have to move onto campus and be away from home. She decided against that and picked RWCC so that she could continue living at home while studying. She also wanted to keep her part time job at Gus's. She had been there forever and was making above minimum wage - not much above, but enough that she didn't want to give it up and start over again somewhere else.
Truth be told, as much as she wanted to live life on her own and visit new places, she was anxious about leaving Royal Woods. Even setting aside Lincoln, the prospect of being away from her home and family, from everything she had ever known, was a little intimidating. She wanted to be an independent adult, but was she really ready to cast off on her own? Was she ready to move a thousand miles away and manage her own life? She thought that she was, but looking at it from the safe harbor of her hearth and home, it was like crossing the Atlantic in a bath tub: Big, scary, and drought with danger.
Luckily for her, she wouldn't have to find out any time soon, though that was a double edged sword in a way, because she wanted to test herself, wanted to know what she was really made of and if she could stand the proverbial heat.
Anyway, the morning of August 28 dawned bright and hot. Warm, golden light saturated the world in early hues and the brownish green trees dotting the neighborhood rustled in the light breeze. Lori was up five minutes before her alarm was set to go off, her bladder bursting. She threw the covers off, sat up, and yawned, a muscle in her back popping. She got up, hunched over like a little old woman, and made her way to the door, absently scratching her butt as she went. There were dark bags under her eyes and her hair stuck out like she'd put her finger in a light socket. She shuffled into the bathroom, snapped the light on, and closed the door behind her. There was a rule in the Loud House: When you were in the shower, you left the door unlocked. See, with thirteen bladders occupying the same space, someone always had to pee…always. As a courtesy, you left the door unlocked in case someone needed to use the john while you were in the shower. Of course, some people abused the privilege…like Lola. She'd do her hair and make up, then when you were finished, you'd have to stand behind the curtain to drip dry while she put on her lipstick or eye shadow.
After using the toilet, Lori stripped naked and jumped into the shower. She washed her hair and let the water sluice over her body. By the time she was finished, she was awake and ready to face the day. She got out, wrapped the towel around herself, and went into the bedroom, where Leni slept on. Royal County Public Schools didn't open for class until September 5, so Leni and the others were still on summer vacation. Lucky them.
Lori dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a blue tank top, then brushed her hair until it was silky smooth. She put on a little blue eyeshadow, as she usually did in the mornings, and checked herself in the full length mirror on the back of the door. She put her hands on her hips and struck a little pose.
I look great, she thought.
In actuality, she looked pretty much how she always did. Not great, not terrible, just like a normal person doing normal person things.
Grabbing her purse from the nightstand, she left the room, being quiet so as not to wake Leni, then went downstairs. She was halfway down the steps when the good smells of bacon and eggs wafted over her. A pan clattered in the kitchen, and she became aware of the telltale hiss of frying food.
Mom and Dad should have already left for work, so, uh, who was making breakfast?
In the kitchen, Lincoln stood at the stove on a chair, a rumpled apron tied around his waist. He saw her from the corner of his eye, turned, and smiled. "Hey," he said, "good morning."
"What are you doing?" she asked, ignoring the greeting. A fond smile crossed her lips as it always did when she spoke to Lincoln.
He flipped an egg with his trusty spatula. "Making breakfast," he said simply.
"I see that," Lori said, "I mean…why?"
He favored her with a look one usually reserved for a not too bright child. "I can't send you off to college on an empty stomach," he said.
That made her laugh. She walked over, stopped, and looked around. "We're alone," Lincoln said.
"Good," she replied. She leaned in and they kissed. She slipped her tongue into his mouth, and he reached around to squeeze her butt. He did that all the time but it always caught her by surprise; she let out a tiny eek and jumped, almost knocking him over, "What'cha making?" she asked, leaning over to see the stove.
"Eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast," Lincoln said. "A full Loud breakfast."
"Full Loud breakfast?" she asked. He said it as though it were a common term that anyone would know the meaning of, but she had never heard it before.
Lincoln used the spatula to transfer the egg to a plate. "Yeah," he said. "You've heard of a full English breakfast, right? This is a full Loud breakfast."
No, in fact, Lori had not heard of a full English breakfast before. She had no idea what English people ate in the morning or in the afternoon for that matter. She knew a few dishes, the ones that Dad attempted to make (like bangers and mash and fish and chips) but that was pretty much it. Surely English people didn't eat fish and mashed potatoes nonstop. She kind of assumed that breakfast over there looked a lot like breakfast over here. After all, she doubted that Americans were the first ones to have bacon and eggs in the morning. It had to start somewhere, so why not jolly old England?
"Thank you," she said and kissed Lincoln's cheek.
"No problem," Lincoln said, "I wanna up my cooking game anyway. I'm tired of eating Dad's slop."
They both laughed.
It was true, Dad was a terrible cook. He made food stretch and managed to do it on a shoestring budget, for which he deserved all the respect, but yeah, his food wasn't that good. He, however, thought he was a master chef, so much so that he opened his own restaurant. It was one of the few sit down places in Royal Woods so it got business, but if another place opened down the street today, it would go out of business.
Lincoln finished cooking and insisted that Lori sit down. He fixed two plates and two cups of coffee, and sat down across from her. "You excited for your first day?" he asked.
She carved a piece of egg off with her fork and stabbed it. "Yeah," she said. "It doesn't feel different from high school, you know? Maybe it will when I get there but right now, it's like…" she shrugged. "I dunno." She shoved the egg into her mouth and chewed it.
"I guess it isn't all that different," Lincoln said and bit down on a piece of crunchy bacon. "It's the same set up. Going to school, coming home. It's not like university or something where you actually live on campus."
"It's cheaper," she pointed out.
Mom and Dad had saved a little money for each of their kids' college fund. Because of that, Lori didn't have to take out much in student loans. By the time she was finished, she would have debt, but not the insurmountable amount that a lot of kids who go to universities would. That was another reason she ultimately settled on community college. She didn't want to have to pay off student loans until she was 80.
"True," Lincoln said. "The government will probably wind up cancelling your debt anyway, so that's good."
Lori polished off her breakfast and washed it down with her coffee. She glanced at the clock on the wall. She had only a few minutes before she had to leave. "When's your last class?" Lincoln asked.
"One, I think," she said. "I should be home by three."
"Are you working tonight?"
"Nope, I'm off."
"Wanna do something?" Lincoln asked.
Lori stuck out her bottom lip and tilted her head to one side in a noncommittal expression. "Sure. A movie, maybe?"
"Sounds good," Lincoln said.
He took their plates to the sink, rinsed them off, and sat them atop one another for later washing. "You want some more coffee?" he asked over his shoulder.
"Nah," Lori said and got to her feet, "I better not. It makes me too jittery." She carried her cup across the kitchen and sat it on the counter. Lincoln took it and washed it out, whistling a light, airy tune. The early morning sun streaming through the window bathed him in brilliant light, and Lori watched him, reminded of angels she had seen in movies. They were always glowing with the light of the heavens, much like Lincoln was now. All that was missing was a little golden halo hovering atop his head.
That image made her laugh, and Lincoln flicked his eyes to her, one corner of his mouth turning up in a grin. "What's funny?" he asked.
"Nothing," Lori said.
"Yeah? I think you're laughing at me."
"Nope," Lori said, "not me. I'm laughing with you."
"Oh, it's okay then."
While he washed the dishes, Lori circled her arms around him from behind and held him close, her cheek resting on his shoulder and her fingers laced across his stomach. His shape was warm and comforting, and his clean smell filled her nostrils. "I have to go," she said after a minute or two. "I wish you could come with me."
"I donut your professors would be happy with you bringing your pet eleven year old to class."
"Oh, who cares what they think? I'm the one paying their salary."
"Well, not all of it."
"Enough of it."
Lincoln turned the sink off and dried his hands on a dish cloth, his back muscles flexing underneath his shirt. "Maybe I can recruit Clyde and we can do the whole trenchcoat routine. I'll stand on his shoulders and wear a fake mustache, then we'll enroll in your class."
Lori smiled. "There you," she said.
"They don't call me the man with a plan for nothing." He tossed the towel onto the counter. "I'll get Clyde to wear sandals. That'll blow people's mind - white face, black feet. Who's gonna say anything, though?"
"You're a dork," she said fondly.
"Yeah, I'm biracial, my top half is white and my bottom have is black. It's like chocolate milk before you stir it. Why. you got a problem with it? You some kind of Nazi?"
She shook her head and squeezed him tight. "You're a nut, Lincoln."
Lincoln jumped down from his chair and walked with her to the door, his arm around her waist. The house was silent - if anyone was awake, they would hear footsteps or floorboards creaking. At the door, Lori opened it and stepped onto the porch. She bent over and gave Lincoln a quick peck on the lips. "I'll see you tonight," she said.
"Alright," he said, "it's a date."
"I love you," Lori said.
"I love you too," Lincoln replied. He hugged her and pinched her butt again, making her jump and squeal once more. He laughed. "Go on, you don't wanna be late."
"Bye," she said.
For a moment they gazed longingly at each other, both wishing that they had a little more time. Finally, Lori turned with a reluctant sigh and crossed the yard. Her new to her car, a 2004 Toyota Corolla, was parked at the curb. She unlocked it, waved to Lincoln, and slid in behind the wheel. She pulled on her seatbelt, started the engine, and pulled away from the curb with a honk of the horn.
Lincoln waved to her.
Neither one of them noticed Lynn peering out the second story window.
She was frowning.
