Author's Note 1: Some notes: During the Victorian Era, little boys would often have governesses until around age 8, before they would go to boarding school. Governesses were neither in the upper crust of society, nor were they on the level of a servant. They were neither staff nor family so I want to explore that dynamic in later chapters. I've read Jane Eyre at least a dozen times, and I dearly love Agnes Gray-each showing what life was like as a governess. I'm also trying to do my research for this, but please give some grace when there are any historical inaccuracies. Thank you! And I know it might be obvious, but Bernard is Bae. Trying to come up with a Victorian appropriate name for him was a pain, but I tried, lol
Chapter 1 A Meeting in Shadows
The carriage rumbled and Belle jostled, once again losing her place in her book. No matter-she had read the story a dozen times, always the book most reached for in troubling times. Now it was one of only three that she allowed herself to bring to her new position. Instead of engaging in her beloved pastime, she now looked out the window at the property that belonged to her new employer, and eventually to the little boy who would be her new student.
I've known Rowland Gold for twenty years, and I can't say I still understand him. But you're a smart little thing, and as long as you don't do anything against his wishes or against his son, you'll do alright, I imagine.
Belle replayed her godfather's words to her after explaining how he had pulled strings to get her instated in the prestigious Gold household. Her father, a beloved clergyman, being dead only a month, meant that Belle was still clothed in the customary black. They had never been rich, but with his death, she stared destitution in its gastly face. If it weren't for the influence of her dear godfather, who had befriended her father when he came to the parish all those years ago, she would have been thrown to the workhouses, or perhaps worse. As it was, she was now the governess to the richest family in the parish, though she had never seen his face before.
There was a reason for that. If the rumors were true, he had some sort of deformation and no one had seen him in the last decade, except for his son and close servants. She wondered if she would be allowed to see the 'monster of Dark Manor' as he was called. She always had wrinkled her nose at such nasty rumors, but now that she could possibly meet the man soon, her nerves and imagination were getting the best of her.
The grounds of Dark Manor were beautifully kept, and she imagined afternoons taking her charge outdoors to explore once the weather turned warmer. She tried to focus on the more pleasant aspects of her upcoming tasks, instead of the waves of both fear and grief that hit her interchangeably. She would not be overcome by either, she repeatedly told herself. She would be brave, could be brave, even as a tear escaped her eye. She pushed it away and stood a bit taller in the jostling seat.
'There you are, I was about to wonder if you had been thrown in some ditch, come on in and get yourself warmed by the fire.'
'Thank you, Mrs…'
'Lucas, Mrs. Lucas, the housekeeper. Come along with you then.'
Belle did her best to keep up with the quick steps of the housekeeper, and she was led down dark halls and into a cozy sitting room. It was tiny, with a small fire, comfortable chairs and a small table holding tea and sandwiches.
'I thought you and I could enjoy a little tea before you saw the school room and settled into your own room.'
'T-thank you, Mrs. Lucas.'
She didn't quite smile, but must have done something that qualified as a pleased acceptance of her thanks. Belle could hardly detect any smile lines on the older woman, and wondered if she ever did. She took a sandwich-she was hungry. She hadn't eaten breakfast that morning, as she had been so worried over everything. Even now her hunger barely won out her nerves.
'Will I be meeting the young Mr. Bernard Gold this afternoon?'
'Not before you see Mr. Gold, I doubt you will, though little Mr. Bae has a will of his own, so it's entirely possible you'll see him scurrying from one side of a room to another. The little man has a lot of energy, Miss French-I can't say we aren't glad you've come to hopefully give the young one some discipline.
Now, Miss Belle, you will be meeting Mr. Gold this evening in his study, as he wants to go over some expectations he has for you.'
Belle nodded and reached to hold her tea with both of her trembling hands so she wouldn't' drop the entire thing on the floor.
In a matter of a couple of hours, she would be meeting the Monster of Dark Manor. She was always a curious thing, her father told her, and part of her was intrigued as to what made the man so horrific that he had received such a nickname.
Eventually Mrs. Lucas took her to a light filled room with a desk, globe, chalkboard, everything a governess could wish for in a schoolroom-surely a man who had thought through everything a child could need in regards to education, couldn't be all that bad, could he? The room also had a small bookcase with educational volumes on nature, a couple of readers, grammar instruction, and a handful of sketch pads.
'This will be your sitting room as well, and the master has brought up a chair he says he hopes you'll find satisfactory.'
'Yes, very, I thank you.'
'The boy doesn't have a nanny-the master thinks he can be father and mother to the boy and doesn't like others to have charge over him. Mr. Gold is a very busy man, and Mister Bae is such an energetic thing that I think he doesn't quite know what to do with him. It's with great persuasion that he's taken you on, you see-so I wouldn't let the master scare you. He doesn't like new people in general, but you're here to take time away from his boy and well… I will say no more of that, as it's not my place.'
This was the friendliest Mrs. Lucas had been with her, and Belle couldn't help but smile shyly at the good woman, and hoped that this was the start of at least an agreeable acquaintance. Belle took what she said to heart, and told herself over and over again, as she was taken to the small bedroom that would be hers. She would not be frightened, she would not shake or tremble. This was a father who loved his son, or so it seemed to her. She tried to quell other things that now piqued her curiosity that would be unlikely satisfied any time soon. Things like where was the mother? Why did he not have a nanny, when there was no mother? Normally rich ladies would hire a nanny just so they didn't have to lift a finger to the well being of their children. It left them more time to dote, and more time to pursue their own ambitions. This man had neither to help him with the raising of his child, and if Mrs. Lucas was to be believed, he had begrudgingly taken on a governess for the lad.
All of these thoughts strengthened her as she was led (for who could find anything in this maze of a manor. It would take her weeks to gain her bearings!) to the master of the house' study. Her resolve not to tremble was all but forgotten as she had to steady herself more than once. She was given a candle to approach the room, and she was ushered into a room so dark that the candle she was holding did nothing to illuminate. A roaring fire at the masculine hearth was the only other light source in the room, and Belle found that she would not be making heads nor tails of what the Monster of Dark Manor looked like that evening. This was done on purpose, she was sure, and she wondered if the servant standing serene in the corner found the room as unnerving as she did herself. The candle flickered as her hands shook, but she set it down on the desk in front of her and took a chair that was offered by the servant. The man himself sat in an imposing chair, back to the fire, leaving his entire being in the darkened shadows.
'Miss French, I presume.'
The voice was not as deep as she thought it would be-a monster would growl, wouldn't he? Belle inwardly shook herself at her fancies.
'Yes sir.' She answered as calmly as her nerves would allow.
'Jeffrey tells me that you're bright and competent.' Belle smiled warmly at the compliment that her godfather had sent. 'But you'll find that I trust no one and will reserve the right to make my own opinions on your abilities.'
The coldness of his tone took away any of the warmth from the previous compliment.
'Yes sir.' it was all she could say, she supposed.
'How were you educated, Miss French? Did you, yourself have a governess? Did you go to school? What did you study?'
'I was schooled at home, with my mother, sir. She was very well educated herself, and allowed me to pursue things that took my interest. I was taught to play, draw, sing and to speak French as well as the usual pursuits, though I can't say I'm as proficient in singing and playing perhaps as my peers. My father, as you most likely know, was a clergyman.'
'Yes, I am aware.' His tone now had a twinge of bitterness to it, and her heart beat hard in her chest, worried she had brought up an unwelcome subject. He wanted to know her educational background, did he not? This was her educational background, and she would not be ashamed of her father's profession, nor cowed to remain silent in the face of her cold employer.
'As you can guess, my father acquired many texts, and his library was exemplary for his station. He allowed me to read any of the books I wanted, and I had a great desire for knowledge. That isn't to say that all the texts were entertaining or even well written, but I've found there is something to be learned in any text, even if it's how not to write a sermon, or how to prove a point badly.'
She thought she heard a soft chuckle, but with the icy way he had behaved thus far, she didn't know if he was laughing at her, or perhaps she had imagined the entire thing.
'And Jeffrey also states that you were an only child, is that right? I hope I do not find your character lacking-a young lady used to getting her own way will find my house unsatisfactory, as my rule is law here.'
She bristled at the insinuation but said nothing at first. She needed this position. Once she had gotten her anger under control she calmly replied.
'I was an only child, you are correct, but I was raised in a humble parsonage, and taught the virtues of self sacrifice and humility. Whether I have obtained those traits or not, you'll have to observe for yourself.'
This was only answered with a hum.
'Now, Miss French, I am willing to have you tutor my son but there are things you must understand before you take up the responsibility. First, all lesson plans must be run by me at the beginning of the week as well as showing me his work at the end of it.'
Belle didn't know what to think of this. It seemed controlling, and insinuated a lack of confidence in her abilities as a governess-not that she had done anything like this before.
'Second, my son, is-a-a very energetic young boy of 6 years, and while I encourage exercise, he is in need of some discipline. I assume you are up to the task?'
'Yes sir.' she merely answered. She assumed she would be making rules and having them obeyed anyway, though the horror stories she heard of master's children assuming authority over their governesses, and in a way it was the truth. The children of the house would be of higher standing as soon as they came of age. It was hard to garner respect when the children knew they were your societal betters. Belle wondered if her charge would be one of those, and how his father would respond, if so. Based on the conversation thus far, Belle wondered if he wouldn't encourage misbehavior towards the lowly governess and then blame her for the faults of the child.
'Lastly.' The sharp voice broke through Belle's thoughts and brought her back to the present reality. 'If anything happens to the boy under your watch, you will be held responsible. And you will learn from others, if you do not find out first hand, that you do not want my wrath. I will not have my son hurt-his physical body nor his energetic will. Take care to protect both, Miss French.'
She might have just provided a nod, her hands were shaking so, and she worried her voice would as well. He wouldn't be able to see her very well to do so (though she imagined that he could see her much better than she could see him, for she could not see him at all). 'Y-yes sir, you have my word that I'll do my very best with your son.' Each word she gained an inch of courage, though it didn't feel like it amounted to the level she needed. She even attempted to end the sentence with a soft smile, though she didn't know if he could see it.
'Alright then, Miss French, that will be all.'
It was a dismissal and she rose from her seat, straining her eyes to see anything in the man other than dark shadows. She could not. Unlike protocol demanded, he did not rise when she left, and it sent a stinging bit of pain to her heart. She knew she was the only daughter of a simple clergyman, but she was a gentleman's daughter, all told, and it sent the slight hurt of her already bruised standing, being spoken to as if she was about to shirk her duties and hurt his son.
She had entered his study with an apprehensive curiosity for the man and she had left with no more knowledge of him except that he was as cold as the frigid halls of his manor.
Authors Note 2:Let me know what you think! I don't know if I will post with the frequency of my other stories, as fall time is a busy time for me, but I will do my best to be a regular up-loader!
