Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.


"Did you try offering them cake?" Kyukogo asked.

Chief Magistrate Shinza nodded. "We offered them cake."

"And did they get back to work?" Kyukogo pressed.

Shinza shook his head. "They did not, Your Divinity."

Kyukogo recoiled in horror. Nyajou and their daughters gasped, shocked murmurs echoed across the throne room, and a few nobles with weaker constitutions fainted. "Offering them cake didn't work?!"

"It did not, Your Divinity."

"Was there something wrong with the cake?" Kyukogo demanded, struggling for an explanation. "Was there gluten in it? I don't actually know what gluten is, but I'm aware that many humans are allergic to it for some reason."

"There was nothing wrong with the cake, and I made extra sure that none of its contents would trigger an allergic reaction," Shinza assured her.

Kyukogo stared into space, dumbfounded. This had never happened before. While there had been slave uprisings and protests in the past – no matter how much she hated to admit it, not every planet she conquered happily assimilated into the Hegemony without complaint – she couldn't remember a single problem that cake hadn't been able to solve in the past.

Nyajou snorted in disgust. "Do these humans even understand what we've given them? They now have order, stability, universal healthcare, free housing and access to proper education, and all we ask is that they do a few tasks for us in return? And they aren't even bad tasks, or take up that much of the day, especially not compared with the thankless, unending labor for cruel and uncaring masters they suffered when their own people were on top! There are empires out there which would have slaughtered them and their families the instant one of them so much as spoke out of turn! If our counterparts were here, they certainly wouldn't be offering them cake in exchange for getting back to work!"

"If our counterparts were here, this planet would have been reduced to cinders months ago and all of humanity either dead, or envying the dead," Kyukogo pointed out, a dark pall falling over the chamber, the mere mention of the other civilization that dared to call themselves Youkaliens filling the atmosphere with dread and anxiety.

Nyajou flinched and bowed her head, realizing she'd gone too far.

Kyukogo took a deep breath and radiated calm, restoring the previous atmosphere through sheer force of will. "This is… Vexing. We have offered them time off, extra cuddles and intercourse, and now cake, and they still refuse to submit?"

Shinza spread his hands helplessly. "They are confident that their heroes will find a way to save them, and see no reason to bow to us in the meantime, especially since they've had enough experience with past invaders to know that we can't and won't really force them to do anything they don't want to without resorting to measures we find… Distasteful."

"You mean they think we're soft," Onimusha growled angrily.

"That… May be the case," Shinza admitted, causing the ogre to snarl in frustration. "Some of them have even called our threats of timeout, withholding dessert, or early bedtimes to be… Infantile and insulting."

There were numerous gasps of shock and offended whispers at that. The nobles with weak constitutions fainted again.

"Be that as it may," Shinza continued. "I'm uncertain what we can do to prove otherwise without undermining our efforts to present ourselves as a trustworthy, family-friendly, benign group of invaders and giving our naysayers and what's left of the Children of Bakano something else to use against us."

Kyukogo drummed her fingers against an armrest with one hand while continuing to stroke the hair of the slave lucky enough to be chained to her throne that day with the other. What was she supposed to do here? These protesters didn't actually need to do any work – there were plenty of other more willing slaves to pick up the slack, and they had machines that could do the job instead if there were a slave shortage – but it was more or less implied they had to do some work, that's part of what being a slave meant, not sitting around all day doing nothing looking pretty!

(Well, okay, they did have slaves whose job was to do just that, but the humans in question weren't counted among their number.)

Also, sitting around all day doing nothing was boring, and there was nothing wrong with keeping your hands busy to stir the mind and give you inspiration, right?

Not to mention allowing these rebellious slaves to get away with their strike would set a terrible precedent and make future conquests think they could get away with not doing anything either, which could lead to a great deal of trouble throughout the Hegemony, as well as making their counterparts believe that she had finally become weak enough for them to make another go at her throne, which would reignite the Youkalien Civil War and lead to the deaths of trillions and the burning of countless worlds-

She trembled. No. She couldn't let that happen. Not again.

"Is there really nothing we can offer them to make them get back to work?" Kyukogo asked finally.

"Other than granting them freedom? I don't believe so," Shinza said helplessly.

"Which is not something I am even capable of granting them," Kyukogo said wearily. "Once we have enslaved another, they cannot be released. The magic doesn't work that way."

"Wait, but Mama, didn't you promise that if the Diningers won, you would let everyone go?" Kyuhime pointed out.

"I thought you never lied!" Nyahime protested.

"I don't, my loves," Kyukogo assured them. "First of all, we aren't going to lose, so we needn't worry about that issue anyway."

"Your Divinity, they are ahead in points right now-" Shinza pointed out.

"And we will get ahead of them again in the next event," Kyukogo said dismissively. "However, since there is a small – very, very small – chance they might win, our finest mages, including Lady Sakuya, are looking into a way to break the enchantment. There is a possibility such knowledge may be useful in the future, though I can't imagine how."

The fact that they had made little to no progress so far was of no concern to her. She was confident they'd figure something out eventually. And besides, it wasn't like she was going to lose!

"Your Divinity, what should be done with these recalcitrant slaves?" Shinza inquired.

Kyukogo contemplated this for what felt to everyone like a very long time. Finally, she said, "Leave them be for now."

Shinza blinked. "Your Divinity?"

"We will not punish them, but neither shall we grant them what they want," Kyukogo decided. "Withdraw all Youkaliens from the sector in question, including the civilians, then seal the area off. If they want a taste of freedom, they can have it, so long as they realize they can't leave without calling off their protest. Let's see how long they last on their own before realizing they don't fully understand how to use our technology or miss our cuddles and treats and ask for help."

It was a cruel tactic, she knew, and one which turned her stomach, but she couldn't think of anything better, not without becoming like them, something she had sworn to never, ever do.

Not for the first time, the fleeting thought crossed her mind that this would be easier if the enslaving magic dominated the mind as well, snuffing out free will, only to immediately quash it. That was something her ancestors and they would do. She had led her people out of those dark days, and had no intention of returning to them.

Besides, slaves she could have a conversation with were so much better than mindless drones. They might as well just replace all their slaves with machines and call it a day if they went down that route.

(Well, except that machines couldn't provide them with the emotional sustenance they needed, though it wasn't for lack of trying.

Unless they were androids. Whom they had enslaved. For some reason, building their own androids to serve as a food source never quite worked out…)

"As you command, Your Divinity," Shinza acknowledged, bowing his head. "And… Speaking of them…"

Kyukogo stiffened and a hush fell over the throne room as the nobles with weak constitution wavered, waiting to see if this news was worth fainting over. "Have they tried anything?"

Shinza quickly shook his head, much to her relief. "No. They are still contained within the boundaries set by the last treaty. However… There have been whispers. Rumors flitting about regarding vessels resembling their scout ships lurking at the edges of inhabited systems. They haven't attacked anyone, or even approached the planets in those systems, but… We think they might be searching for something."

Worried murmurs sprang up around the room, the nobles with weak constitutions decided to faint after all, the children whimpered and hugged Usatan, and Nyajou hissed. "If they want something, it's bad for all of us."

Kyukogo nodded in agreement. "Indeed. Which makes it all the more imperative we conquer this world as soon as possible. With the Diningers and the rest of Earth's heroes under our control, we may finally be able to shift the balance and eliminate our wayward cousins once and for all, for the good of the galaxy."

"Speaking of which, I have some good news, as well as a possible… Complication," Shinza spoke up.

"Oh? What is it?" Kyukogo asked, intrigued and eager for anything to take her mind off the myriad worries that came from being the God-Empress of an interstellar civilization.

"Asteroibotchi has nearly finished fully regenerating his body, and will be back from his vacation shortly," Shinza replied.

Numerous sighs of relief and a few cheers rang out throughout the room as the little princesses started applauding. "Yay, Asteroibotchi!"

Shocked, Kyukogo glanced at Onimusha, who had a smug look on his face. "Onimusha?! There's no way you didn't know this! Why didn't you tell me?"

The ogre grinned. "Wanted it to be a surprise, Your Divinity. It's not often someone gets one over on you!"

Kyukogo laughed in delight. "No, I suppose it isn't! Wonderful!"

"Mama, does that mean Asteroibotchi will fight the Diningers again?" Nyahime asked hopefully.

Kyukogo shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Once was probably enough for him. Still, it will be nice to have him with us again! Oh, and Onimusha, I assume you have a Youkalien Warrior ready for the next event-"

Shinza coughed. "Begging your pardon, Your Divinity, but that's the complication I was about to bring up."

Kyukogo frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Our astrologers have rechecked the star charts, and it looks as if the Kusarikokan Festival will be beginning sooner than expected this year," Shinza informed her.

Absolutely everyone in the throne room perked up at this, including the slaves. "That's wonderful news! When is it happening?" Kyukogo asked.

Shinza winced. "There lies the complication. It's starting on the same day as our next clash with the Diningers."

A silence fell over the room.

"Oh," Kyukogo said finally.

Nyajou grimaced. "That's… Problematic."

"Are you absolutely certain?" Onimusha demanded.

Shinza nodded regretfully. "I checked the math myself. There's no mistaking it."

"That is a complication," Kyukogo agreed, stroking her chin.

"As I see it, Your captivity, we have three options," Shinza offered hesitantly. "One is that we cancel the festival-"

Everyone in the throne room started shouting at once, even and especially the slaves, insisting that no, they absolutely were not canceling the festival, it was one of their most sacred traditions, they had been looking forward to it all year, how dare he even suggest such a thing, and other enraged outbursts.

Shinza raised his hands in surrender. "I said that was one option!" He shouted. "The second is that we cancel this week's match with the Diningers."

"But that would count as a forfeit and put them further ahead in points!" Nyajou protested.

"Can't we simply reschedule?" Kyukogo asked.

Shinza shook his head. "No, given this planet's solar cycle, the festival would end just in time for next week's match, so unless we had some sort of double header…"

"Is that out of the question?" Onimusha wondered.

"Well, it would be easy for us, but it seems unfair to force the Diningers into back-to-back fights," Kyukogo said, putting her foot down. "It wouldn't be right for us to win a match because they hadn't fully recovered from the previous one! Shinza, you mentioned a third option?"

"Well… Instead of canceling one or the other event, we could simply go ahead with both," Shinza admitted.

More murmuring filled the throne room at the statement. Was it possible? Well, yes, certainly, but…

"Is that wise?" Onimusha asked doubtfully. "If we were to do that, then… Well, we might as well be handling the Diningers an easy win."

"You don't have faith in your slaves?" Kyukogo asked her general.

"Not in combat against warriors of their caliber!" Onimusha retorted, which she agreed was a fair point.

"The next challenge doesn't have to be a fight," Shinza pointed out.

"No, but we may be due one, the human media has been complaining that the last few events have been too 'tame,' whatever that means," Kyukogo replied.

"Why should we care what they think? They're saying bad things about us all the time! About you! About our children!" Nyajou snarled.

"Controlling public perception is an important aspect of establishing our dominance," Kyukogo argued. "Also, the girls want to see a fight, and you know I can't deny them anything."

Nyajou glanced at her daughters, who were giving her hopeful looks. She sighed. "Fair enough…"

"Does it really matter if we win or lose this next match, Mama?" Kyuhime asked.

"Yeah, if it happens at the same time as the Kusarikokan Festival, it'll still be tons of fun!" Nyahime agreed.

"So fun, even the humans might get into it!" Kyuhime added.

Kyukogo's eyes lit up, getting an idea. "That… Isn't a bad idea, Kyuhime. In fact…"

She started grinning. "This may even help us resolve our current little rebellion, and catch two birds with one spell…"


Sora knocked on the door.

There was no response.

He knocked harder.

Still no response.

He drew his sword, still in its scabbard, and started banging it against the door very hard.

After a few minutes of this, the door opened and a furious Akira, hair wilder than usual, wearing an extremely formfitting red and black silk kimono decorated with tyrannosaurs and Shuriken and absolutely nothing else, glared at him, a murderous expression on her face.

"Akira-" Sora started.

"Is there a sock on my door?" She asked with disturbing calm.

Sora glanced at her door, which did indeed have a red sock hanging from the doorknob. "Yes."

"What does it mean when there is a sock on my door, Sora?" Akira asked.

"That you're sharing your bed with one or more people and are not to be disturbed except in an emergency," Sora said wearily. "Although in my defense, there's always a sock on your door-"

"I will not apologize for my libido. Is this an emergency?" Akira asked bluntly.

"No, but-"

"Can it wait until morning?"

"Yes, but-"

"Good night."

Akira tried to slam the door shut, only for Sora to stick his foot in the gap before it closed, gritting his teeth as he felt his bones crack. Akira glared at him, no doubt contemplating breaking his foot. "Sora, I have several very beautiful women waiting for me in bed and Mozu chained to the wall with strict orders not to pleasure herself without my permission so get your foot out of my door or-"

"I think I may have found a way to turn you into a dinosaur."

Akira stared at him for a moment. "Is this a joke?"

"No."

"You're certain of this?"

"It's a promising lead, and it's worked on at least one person in the past."

Akira opened her door and stepped aside. "Come in."

Sora sighed in relief and entered, limping slightly. "What about the very beautiful women waiting for you in bed?"

"Mozu will take care of them. MOZU! SHOW THE GIRLS A GOOD TIME!" Akira shouted in the direction of her bedroom.

"YES MISTRESS!" Mozu cried enthusiastically.

"You want coffee? I can have Kofi whip up a new batch," Akira offered.

"That would be wonderful, thanks," Sora gratefully.

"No problem. Now."

Akira put her hand on his shoulder, digging her clawlike nails into it. "Tell. Me. EVERYTHING."