Chapter One: In A New World With My GudaGuda Life
Staring up at the sky, Trent took a deep breath of the early afternoon air. Considering that it wasn't the dead of night anymore, he could only conclude that they'd been torn very far from Trifas. Flexing his hands, the blond asked, "Guys, you there?"
"I'm here! And in one piece too!" Astolfo answered, sounding entirely too enthused for what they had just gone through. There was a brief muffled mumbling, followed by the Rider shouting, "Oh no, Master! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sit on your face!"
Johan, after pulling his face from the dirt and brushing himself off, offered, "I'm alive." He cast about himself for a moment and scooped his grimoire from the dirt. "At least this thing made the trip here too...wherever here is."
Sitting up and taking a moment to watch Astolfo help Charlie straighten up, the Canadian looked around, his brows furrowed. "Looks a bit like a mountainside," he said that as he looked down over a great field of cherry blossoms stretching out below. "There's a lotta cherry blossoms down there, maybe it's some sort of botanical garden?"
"Maybe," Johan replied with a shrug, paging open his grimoire. "I'll see if I can't summon a familiar to take a look around…"
Skipping over to the edge of the cliff, Astolfo bounced on his toes as he exclaimed, "Oh man, those're so pretty! I can't wait to go down there, imagine how many chicks you could score if you took them on a date, they'd totally sploosh all over the place! Just gotta make sure I don't get lost in the petals!"
Barely managing to ignore the resident goober horndog's shenanigans, Johan reached the page he was looking for and closed his eyes. In his mind's eye, a pale candle stood lit. With a flex of will, he snuffed the candle out…
Only for his eyes to snap open as he gave a hiss of pain. Mana crackled along his back as his Magic Circuits misfired, failing to form any meaningful connection to the alien land. "Fucking cockshit!" Johan swore, toppling over to one side as the mana rebounded painfully.
"What the fuck, dude," Trent said, turning to look at his friend who had fallen to the ground.
"Tried to open m' Circuits," Johan hissed through gritted teeth, as the arcs of magic energy slowly subsided, "but the mana didn't go anywhere."
"That's fucked up," the Canuck replied, nodding as he reached down to help his friend.
Charlie then piped in, "It's because the mana had nowhere to go. Wherever we are, our magecraft isn't compatible with it."
"…How the fuck does that work, Charlie? As long as we're on Earth, there shouldn't be any issue," Trent said, crossing his arms as he tried to figure out just how that worked.
"What if it's not our Earth?" the Homunculus asked in turn, his innocent inquiry causing the blond's mouth to quirk into a frown.
As his face curved in pain, Trent was forced to admit, "That's plausible, and I hate it."
As the crackling mana finally subsided and Johan righted himself, still twitching, he gave a snort. "You know it'd be just our luck, too." He looked over at Charlie and quirked an eyebrow. "Since you're clearly the one with the most Magecraft knowledge out of us, how do we fix this?"
"We need to connect to the Earth itself, form a contract with it, in a way," Charlie answered, scratching at his chin.
The Canadian looked at him, and was utterly dumbfounded. "How the hell is that supposed to work? Make a contract with the Earth? I don't wanna be licking Alaya's ass."
Johan gave him a look. "Somehow, I doubt that's how it works."
"Guys, just shake hands with the Earth, tell it you're cool now!" Astolfo interrupted, popping up in the middle of the group.
Trent turned his gaze to the Rider, opened his mouth and paused. "How dare you make a cogent argument." With that, he punched his hand into the ground, making sure to dig his arm in up to his elbow as he tried to activate his circuits. Roaring, he made sure to grip a clump of dirt. "FUCK YOU EARTH, YOU STUPID BITCH LET ME USE MAGIC ON YOU!"
Silence reigned as his shout echoed, nothing seemingly happening, until a pigeon on a nearby tree branch exploded, causing the group to jerk away. Blinking at it, Trent looked at the others. "Do… do you guys think it worked?"
Johan gave him a wry look. "Only one way to find out."
Pulling a feather out of the cage hanging off his waist and idly noting the flash of red on the back of his hand, he was about to try turning it into a familiar when a woman's voice interrupted, "Hey, you guys seen my Master around here? I was just summoned and I need to find him."
Wearing what looked like a black gakuran with a flowing red cloak over top, a red officer's cap with a great golden sunburst set atop its brim upon her head, the woman grinned at them, her red eyes shining from behind her wild locks of raven hair. Putting her hands on her hips, she loudly declared, "Be grateful and awed, for you stand in the presence of the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Nobunaga Oda! Summoned as an Archer, but that's just a label, so who cares!"
Deciding to actually look properly at the red on the back of his hand, Trent took in his new Command Seals, a stylized skull and a pair of crossed muskets, split in half where they crossed. He then lifted his hand into the air, "I guess that's me then. Nice to meet you."
At the same time, Johan winced as red sparked on the back of his hand as well, settling into the vague shape of a sword with two halves of an ouroboros to either side of it. Johan looked at the Seals on the back of his hand with speculative frown. Odd that he'd already received Command Seals before he'd even made his own connection to the land…
-x-x-x-x-x-
Across the world, five other people received similar marks upon the backs of their hands.
In a hidden dimension, a pair of warriors felt the tingle of alien magic caress their souls. One gave a vicious, blood-hungry smile, while the other simply stared at the marks, confused by them as she studied them.
A harsh curse left the lips of a young man as a sudden pain caused his hand to twitch, making him lose the round of Call of Honourable Warfare Battlegrounds. His eyes streaked over to the back of his hands, the blood draining from his face at the new tattoo on one of them. There was no appreciable change in his palor from said paling.
A sword clattered to the ground as rebellious fire carved a sigil into the back of a young man's hand. His opponent's katana halted a hair's breadth away from the youth's neck, before being retracted as the man bent over his student's hand with a mix of curiosity and concern.
In the hidden depths of Wallachia, in a castle seemingly frozen in the darkest of nights, a small, malnourished figure curled around her hand as she grit their teeth against the sudden stab of pain. Through the pain, the waifish girl started to mumble, the red light filling the room and intensifying with her every word.
When the light faded, there was a beat of silence, then a vicious laugh as steel scraped across stone.
-x-x-x-x-x-
Back on the mountainside, the Fool of Owari let out a raucous laugh as she looked over the motley before her. "Well, at least I'll be in good company for this brief second life! A veritable cavalcade of men to share in the adventure!"
"Baller," Trent replied, adding nothing to the conversation, but still earning a nod from the Archer.
"Speaking of adventures," Johan commented, having paged through his grimoire for insight from the Magus who'd previously been in command of this body, "it seems that to connect to the land, it'd be best for me to be in a place noted for its connection to death. I'm not quite sure where we are, but—"
"Death, huh? Why not just use this place? Mount Hiei's had tons of people die on it! Hell, I even set the whole thing alight back in the day!" Nobunaga declared, dropping down into a cross-legged seat.
Johan blinked. "Well, that certainly explains why you were summoned, if that's where we are. And fair enough, you have a point about the mountain."
"Just fist the Earth, like I did," Trent advised, brushing dirt off his previously submerged arm. "If it worked for me, it should work for you."
Johan scoffed. "Not all of us have thirty generations of Magecraft legacy, founded by a Dead Apostle Ancestor no less, to make up for our lack of experience. The motherfucker who was in this body before was a first generation Magus; the only reason he was noteworthy at all is because fucking nobody uses ectomancy."
The blond lifted a finger as he adjusted the neck of his shirt, about to point out how wrong he was, before stopping. His mouth twisted into a frown, and then he declared, "How dare you bring facts and logic into this discussion about magical horseshit."
Johan snorted as he closed his eyes and carefully brought up the image of his trigger again. "You're just salty that you're the product of a thousand years of selective inbreeding, nepotism, and Randian hubris. Now shut up, I'm trying to coax the local ghost cummies into being my Minecraft Creative Mode."
"How dare you completely identify exactly why I hate the facts and logic you brought to the table, I hate the fact that I could fit into Naruto," Trent grumbled, pouting as Nobunaga let out another laugh, giving him a slap on the shoulder.
Johan gave a wry smile as he sank deeper into a trance. This time, rather than pinching out the flickering flame at the end of the candle, he pictured cupping it in his hands and blew on it, sparks reaching out into the dark. For a time, the sparks did nothing but flicker and die, snuffed out for the lack of fuel, but he remained patient.
After about five minutes, though, his patience was rewarded. With a crackling hiss, a spark took, briefly burning in the vaguest suggestion of a human skull, before guttering out into smoke.
Johan opened his eyes as his Magic Circuits hummed to life, flaming ice tracing its way across his spine, the phantom sensation of simultaneous frostbite and scalding burns almost comforting by comparison to the gnawing absence that it replaced.
He rubbed his shoulder and popped a kink out of his neck as he rose. "Well, that's done. Think we ought to get down off this mountain and see if there's actual civilization down there? If I'm remembering my weebshit correctly, Kyoto's nearish to Mt. Hiei…"
"Indeed, it is! Come, let us go and crash into the capital, feast and drink until we're merrily full! And in the morning, we'll find just which war we're to fight!" Nobunaga roared, grinning from ear to ear as she pointed down at the fields of cherry blossoms below.
Trent threw up the horns, and got to his feet, doing a small stretch. "Sounds like a goddamn party… but none of us have any money that'll be accepted. Or clothes that won't make you stick out like a sore thumb."
"What's wrong with my clothes? They're chic for warlords, I'll have you know," the Archer declared, using her arms to toss her cloak up so it billowed magnificently. "Even the greatest of Heroic Spirits will recognize the sheer majesty of position through them!"
Astolfo flounced over to her, and remarked, "Well, that's pretty great, but doesn't that just make you a big target for Assassins? Oh, maybe that's why Charlemagne dressed up like us, so he wouldn't get caught out by Assassins…"
Nobunaga's mouth hung open for a few moments, and then she shrugged as she laughed, "Mayhaps! Mayhaps, but I was never one to shirk away from such threats! Indeed, I would welcome them with open arms, so that I might live my fifty years to the fullest!"
"You're a weird one, huh?" Astolfo asked in turn, laughing along with the Archer.
"They don't call me the Fool of Owari for nothing!" she boasted, planting her hands on her hips, throwing her chest forward, and laughing even more boisterously.
Behind them, Charlie's head tilted to the side as he took in the scene, unable to put his thumb on exactly why it unsettled him.
-x-x-x-
The group eventually managed to walk to Kyoto, with Trent, Nobunaga and Astolfo acting to cajole the other two along. After some finagling at a bank, as well as technically committing crimes at a few different pawn shops, they managed to get enough money to rent a room at a hotel, and chose one Omiya Inn.
They had decided to rotate through the bath, with Nobunaga going first, Trent and Johan second, and Charlie and Astolfo third. With the final two in the bath, the others had started to plan.
Sitting by the table in the room they'd rented, Trent allowed himself to relax slightly. "Well, at least we've got a room for the foreseeable future."
Johan was busy studying a pamphlet for the inn. "Huh. Apparently this is the place Ryoma Sakamoto was assassinated…" He shrugged. "As good a catalyst as any, really."
"Hm, the ambassador, is it? A good enough choice, even if he was a ronin with no heads to his name," Nobu remarked, leaning against one of the walls as she watched the two. "Still, he had the right idea, trying to open the islands up!"
"He can hang, if he wants to, I got no qualms with him," the Canadian remarked, idly tracing a pattern on the table. "Although, I would note that I do only really care about him because Kiryu portrayed him."
Johan snorted, then made a vague gesture towards a bare corner of the room. A translucent tendril of ectoplasm began carving a magic circle into the wooded floor. "That settles it, then. From all accounts, the man had a solid head on his shoulders, something I'm sure we'll be needing." This last was said without any real malice, and the way Nobu merely laughed boisterously without denying it said it all, really. Trent nodded, knowing that they probably needed a proper minder with both Jekyll and Carmilla gone.
Johan shook his head fondly as the magic circle was finished and the ectoplasm settled into its grooves. As naturally as breathing, words came to his lips.
"Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall."
As the circle started to glow, Astolfo's voice picked up outside the door, seemingly chattering away at someone or something. Trent didn't really pay it any mind as he kept his eye on the ritual, confident in the paladin's ability to confound whoever he spoke to.
"Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate. Let it be declared now; your flesh shall serve under me, and my fate shall be with your sword."
An unfamiliar voice could be heard debating with the Servant, sounding quite fervent. It even got to the point that Charlie had joined in on the loud voices, causing Nobunaga to narrow her eyes at the door.
"Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail. Answer, if you would submit to this will and this truth. An oath shall be sworn here. I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven; I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell."
There was a jostling outside, the door shaking slightly as if someone had collided with it, and a musket flashed into existence in Nobunaga's hand, carefully aimed at the door. Having noticed the shift in his Servant's stance, Trent had pulled a number of feathers into his hand, ready to launch them at whoever might be trying to break in.
"From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power, come forth from the ring of restraint, protector of the holy balance!"
As the summoning reached its climax, a number of things happened at once.
First, a pair of forms coalesced in the center of the circle; one a man, standing at attention, clad in a pale white suit and hat with a katana and a handgun at his left hip; the other a woman, floating lazily behind him, shrouded in a coal black seifuku with not a weapon to be seen, though a dark fire burned in her narrowed gaze.
Second, as Ryoma Sakamoto opened his mouth to introduce himself, the door to the room burst open, slamming into the wall as Astolfo and Charlie practically fell over one another into the space it had occupied to make room for the unknown figure in front of them.
And third, the squat crow Tengu in the doorway straightened his clothes, took in the scene and opened his beak to say something.
Naturally, that was when Trent threw his feathers with a loud, cawing "SKRAAAAW!"
The Tengu spared the pinion projectiles but a moment's glance, and that was sufficient. The black feathers halted in midair, and even as the Tengu's gaze drifted away from them, the feathers fell to pieces. The bird-headed man's eyes swept the room, ending squarely on the musket pointed between his eyes – or rather, the unusually serious-faced woman holding the weapon.
"I will graciously forgive your attack upon my person this once," the Tengu said thinly, "as it is apparent that you struck first out of concern for your comrades, rather than out of malice."
He folded his feathered arms and then proclaimed, "I, Jirobo of the Hira Mountains, stand before you in my role as adjutant to Her Radiance Lady Yasaka, stewardess of Reverse Kyoto." His gaze strayed from Nobunaga for the barest of moments, flickering between the other occupants of the room and fixing on the woman floating behind Ryoma for a moment. "It is not often that we receive guests of such…" Jirobo seemed to search for a descriptor for a moment. "Such commanding presence, shall we say. My Lady wishes to extend an invitation to meet with her, should they be willing to accept it."
The look in the Tengu's obsidian eyes made it plainly clear that this "invitation" was nothing of the sort, and based on the furious frown that was rapidly darkening Archer's face, she was none too pleased by that.
Before Nobunaga could enact a national incident, a calm voice cut through the air. "Am I to understand that your Lady is offering our party the rights of hospitality, should we accept her invitation?"
A genial smile decorated Ryoma Sakamoto's face as he asked the question of Jirobo, but his eyes were as sharp and steely as any blade. The Tengu regarded the Rider-class Servant for a long moment, then gave a nod. "On the name of my mountain home and the names of my ancestors, I do swear that you and yours will be afforded guest rights until such a time as you relinquish them, willingly or through violent action."
Ryoma held Jirobo's gaze for a long moment, then closed his eyes and gave a nod. The Hero of the Meiji Restoration then turned to regard his new allies, his gaze landing on Johan last. He rubbed the back of his head and gave a sheepish chuckle. "If I was out of line, I apologise, but it seemed like things were about to go...poorly." Ryoma gave a weak shrug.
Archer looked over at the new Rider, her scowl still present. After a moment, though, Nobu sighed and lowered her musket. A rueful smirk replaced the mask of wrath that had adorned her face mere moments before. "As expected of the ambassador; you've been here only moments and already you've got an eye for the room." Nobunaga shook her head and let out a boisterous laugh. "Very well! Let it never be said that the Demon King of the Sixth Heaven doesn't know when to listen to experts! Lead on, birdman!" This last she directed at Jirobo, who seemed to be caught between bemusement and appalled wonder.
The woman floating behind Ryoma took that opportunity to speak up, drifting lazily around her partner. "Oryou wonders if birdmen are good to eat…"
From the look on the Tengu's face, that firmly settled Jirobo's emotions in the direction of being appalled. Obviously, one thing was clear to him now: the sooner the Tengu got these people to Lady Yasaka, the better it would be for his sanity...and perhaps his safety, as well.
