Disclaimer: I do not own DanMachi or any of Omori's original characters, nor do I make any profit off of my writing.


"With all due respect, Lord Hermes," Bell paused, granting the god a moment to give the white-haired boy his full attention. Bell smiled a bitter smile, one containing none of the typical warmth he shared with everybody else he met. "Fuck off."

The god (though Bell would never refer to him as such) had the gaul to seem affronted by the request, as if he wasn't standing right next to a sign reading 'All are welcome. Except Zeus, Hermes and related associates.' Like fuck, he understands Koine is not their native language, but he went through the trouble of paying somebody to translate it into hieroglyphs for them. How did he miss that?

"But, Bell—"

"Please, Hermes, I don't like you anywhere near enough for you to call me that and you are currently trespassing and holding up the line, so please, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, fuck off."

Hermes, bless his stupid little heart, apparently didn't get the message as he did not, in fact, fuck off. Truly bothersome for a young business owner like Bell Cranel.

"But, Bell—"

".. Mister Cranel.. " He sighed out exasperatedly. How hard of a concept was it to grasp?

"—it's your duty as the next great hero of our age to herald the mission to vanquish the last calamity of this world! You were born to do exactly that! You're the promised one!"

Two rubellite eyes rolled. Kami, he really wished he would stop hearing this 'promised one' bullshit. He'd gotten enough of it from his bastard of a grandfather, he really didn't need to hear about it more. "For the last time, Hermes. I am not a promised one."

Hermes muttered out a quiet 'the' in correction but didn't interrupt.

"I am a baker. Do you see where you are? You're in my bakery. Where I bake things. Do you know what somebody is supposed to do in a bakery? Buy. Baked. Goods. Do you know what you are supposed to do in a bakery? No? Then maybe you should try asking in a bakery where you aren't banned."

Bell swore he'd make better progress arguing to a brick; like seriously, what was this man's deal?

"You're level four, Bell! And you're only 14!"

Mister Cranel.

"You shouldn't squander your talents with something so.. so.. frivolous! You're meant to be a hero!"

Bell exhaled heavily, casting a wary glance toward the equally exasperated and wholly apologetic Asfi standing just behind the feather-hat-wearing-idiot.

"Nobody is meant to be anything, Hermes. Zeus trained me to be a warrior, I chose to be a baker."

"But you could be so much m—"

"Enough."

Hermes cowed as Bell across the counter at him, his patience finally wearing thin. Even if Hermes had no issue throwing it into the white-haired boy's face repeatedly, it was still hard to remember that the gentle boy who owned 'Meteria's Bakery' in the Western district of Orario was a level four. Even if he wasn't a member of an active familia, even if he'd never set foot in the dungeon, even if nobody only Hermes knew. Even then he was still among the strongest in Orario.

Half a decade of being forced to train and battle in the Dragon's Valley does that to somebody.

"You've disrupted my business enough. Leave, Hermes."

Not ten seconds later, Asfi dragged the blond lord of Tenkai back through the front doors of the establishment and out under the evening sky.

Then, light a switch was flipped, Bell turned to his next patron (an actual customer this time) and smiled kindly at them.

"Hello, Joan. Welcome back! What can I get for you today?"

The day passed much the same. Bell had only been in the city for almost two months now and he'd already amassed a sizable number of regulars in his little hole-in-the-wall.

It was nice, quaint. He quite preferred it this way. It beat the cold summers and bitter winters trekking through the gauntlet of dragons in the north, hunting for his next victim.

("Grandpa, why do I have to do this?"

"You're going to be a great hero one day, you're going to save so many people."

"But, Grandpa I'm cold."

The old man would merely roll his eyes at the eight-year-old. Heroes couldn't be stopped by something so trivial as a slight chill. "Go, Bell. I won't ask again."

The child did. He trekked out into the snow that rose up to mid-thigh. He hiked those mountain tops with nothing, but the cloak draped over his shoulder, the weapons sheathed at his hip, and the damnable 'blessing' on his back.

It felt more like a curse sometimes.)

Joan was one of his favorites. A kind, old woman who spent her days knitting. Bell had enough scarves to last several lifetimes and you'd never hear him complaining.

There were, of course, others. Sieben was an old grouch, bitter toward everything in the world except lemon poppy seed muffins. He loved those things. Bell's treatment was only marginally better than how you'd expect somebody to treat the pile of shit they just stepped in by virtue of being the baker who makes said muffins. He'd take it.

Not all of his regulars were old though, of course not! Baked goods were a delicacy to be enjoyed by those of all ages. Sarek and Mirya were two adorable little twins who were always in a hurry and if Bell hadn't met their mother, he'd be fairly sure they were incapable of walking. That woman was a saint and he had no idea how she managed to corral the two. Naturally, they only picked the sweetest of sweets from his menu. He made sure to apologize mentally to their parents every time they left his shop on a sugar high.

And how could he forget his favorite group of all time?

"Rye. Roux. Fina. Oisin. Sive. Kaede. Momiji. Primo. Gina." He acknowledged each of the kids with a smile as he walked around the counter and kneeled down in front of them. "You've all grown so much!"

Oisin and Sive practically preened under the praise; their smiles brightening up the room and causing Bell to squint. Of course, it was only expected of them, the two sunshine children loved hearing that they were getting taller. Bell suspected it had something to do with them being the smallest of the bunch, he didn't have the heart to break it to them that that would always be the case. Pallums weren't known for their height.

The other kids merely rolled their eyes.

"You always say that Bell. How much bigger could we really have gotten?"

Bell guffawed in mock surprise. "You think I'd lie to you? You all really have grown! Just ask Miss Joan!"

The woman – did he mention how much he loved her? – wasted absolutely no time finishing the last little knot on her newest scarf and wrapped it around the shoulders of the girl who spoke. She gave Primo a warm, grandmotherly smile as she pinched the girl's cheeks. "Oh, how you've grown!"

The elf merely stared back at the woman with a perfectly deadpanned face before turning back to Bell. "I've never met this woman in my life, how would she know?"

Bell opened his mouth to retort before thinking better of it and instead letting an easy smile grace his lips. "Today's treat is free!"

At first, nobody moved. Bell was honestly worried they weren't going to fall for it. What kind of kid doesn't jump at the opportunity to receive free dessert? Certainly not him. Even if he didn't have much of a sweet tooth, he had no problem partaking in a tart or two just to experience the things he never got to as a child.

He'd be damned if these kids never got to experience them either for something as silly as money.

It took about five seconds in total for the kid's bodies to catch up to their brains and Bell was swept away in a veritable avalanche of children. Every time he thought he was able to get his footing and stand back up another kid dove into him, gave him a quick hug, before kicking off his chest toward the display case.

Bell watched fondly as they rubbed their grubby hands over his clean glass and smushed their faces into it. He really should enforce the 'no touching the glass' rule on them if not for himself then for every other business in the city. But they were just so darn precious!

"You don't have to do this, you know."

He turned, unsurprised to find the matron of the orphanage standing behind him with her hands clasped together. Her eyes weren't on him though, instead she watched the kids playfully shove one another out of the way to get a look at the treats.

He smiled.

"I know."

Maria hummed but said nothing more, already knowing it was a lost cause to get Bell to accept payment.

("Please, it's not right for me to take from you and not give anything in return."

"I don't want it. This is the least I can do."

"But—"

"No 'buts,' Maria. This is what I want.")

Bell dragged himself to his feet, shooting a shocked look toward Joan as she laughed at his groaning. How dare she mock his rapidly advancing age! Soon enough he'd be seated right next to her in the lounge as they both ignored their arthritic hands to pump out more clothing than a factory.

Slowly, he made his way through the sea of children and back around the counter, quickly washing and drying his hands before picking up a clean pair of tongs.

"So, what'll it be?"


"You know.. "

Bell froze, his back straightening as a coy voice resounded from behind him.

".. if you wanted to impress me, giving free desserts to orphans seems to be a bit on the nose, don't you think?"

Slowly, with all the sureness of a child learning to swim, Bell released a shuddering breath and spoke. "And who says it has anything to do with you?"

The woman hummed, her heterochromatic eyes drifting away from the baker's back to where Maria's gaggle of kids were quietly eating their assortment of foods and whispering into one another's ears before giggling. She smiled to herself. "Just a hunch."

Bell huffed and shook his head ruefully as he dunked a knife into the soapy water before him. A smile played at his lips as he kept his back toward the newcomer, not letting her see. "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, miss, but I feel you've been misinformed."

"Is that so?" She leaned over the counter and propped her face up with one hand as her elbow rested atop the cool stone. Her other hand draped down over the surface, a thin finger idly tracing the lines of the smoother granite. Her eyes quickly found themselves appreciating the sight of Bell's back, tracing the contours of his muscles beneath his shirt, the definition being revealed thanks to the apron straps tied behind him. "How can you be so sure? I have very reliable sources."

And she did.

Who was more reliable than her when it came to matters of the heart?

Well, she knew the answer to that, but she was a close second!

Bell snorted. Deciding to throw it back at her, he merely shrugged, one of his rubellite eyes peaking out over his shoulder and winking at her as he spoke. "Just a hunch."

There was a moment where neither of them spoke, simply content to take in the details of the other's face as the silence stretched on.

Naturally, that silence had to be broken.

Bell just really wished it wasn't by the collective scheming of half a dozen devious, little orphans. And right after he gave them free food no less!

At the very least he could trust Oisin, Sive, and Momiji to not partake (even if the first two didn't because they had no clue what was happening).

"Bell and Helun sitting in a tree! K – I – S – S – I – N – G! First comes love! Then comes marriage! Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!"

Immediately, the two of them flushed and head their faces from view. In any other situation, Bell may have just pulled Helun with him into the back room to spare her the embarrassment, but he felt like that would only make things worse.

Honestly, he was more than a little impressed by the children's coordination. No stuttering, no hesitation. They went straight for the throat, and they executed it perfectly. Props to them, really.

"You all just lost dessert privileges. Oisin, Sive, and Momiji are now my favorites."

The three beamed and squealed in happiness, undercutting the anguished groans and protests from the rest of Maria's little troop. Gina even dove from her seat, collapsing to the ground in front of Bell in a perfect dogeza, but Bell would not be swayed. He stood steadfast; his fists planted firmly on his hips as he stared out over the children impassively.

Momiji quickly skittered over to his side, mirroring his pose and expression.

Oisin and Sive, not wanting to be left out, scampering over too, taking up residence at Bell's left. Unfortunately, the five-year-olds had no idea what was going on. Still, their wide, doe eyes staring up at Bell was more than enough encouragement. He could conquer the world if those two just kept staring at him like that.

"Please, Bell! We'll do anything, don't take away our desserts!"

He hummed.

"What do you think Momiji."

"I say let them squirm."

"Dark. I like it! What about you Oisin? Sive?"

The pallum siblings just stared up at him.

".. "

".. "

"Insightful! Helun? What about you? What do you think we should do with them?"

The girl, finally recovering from her momentary embarrassment, shifted to turn her attention back toward the gathered children. Unfortunately, that also meant seeing Bell, which did her no favors in quelling the pink dusting her cheeks.

Bell found the image irresistibly cute. One of her gloved hands was held in a fist in front of her mouth, the other clenching nervously at the skirt of her dress. Her long, light grey hair covered most of her face, only her black eye peaking out from beneath her bangs. Bell only knew of the silvery-grey color of the other from one of their many late-night talks.

If Bell was being honest, he preferred her uncovered eye. The obsidian of the iris was a color he could find himself lost in for hours, his own eyes always picking out new details every time he looked. The silver of her left was undeniably gorgeous, but something about the stygian iris of her right was just so unmistakably her. It was Helun. On the surface there wasn't much to discern, exactly by design. She wasn't bestowed the title of 'Nameless' for nothing. Yet, just below that surface, there was a wonderful woman yearning to be seen for herself.

Bell could see the smile playing at her lips even from behind the girl's fist. He could see it in the way her right eye squinted. He could see it in the way her cheeks pushed out and become even that much rosier. He could see it in the way she tucked a few stray locks of graphite hair behind her ear, as she always did when she was happy.

"Make them bake this weekend's special?"

What a horribly disastrous idea! He loved it!

"You heard the boss! I expect you all here bright and early tomorrow morning, we're making mini pies!"

Ten minutes of groaning later and—

"You're helping me clean up the kitchen after they wreck it."

Helun could only sigh and nod in agreement. She really should have thought of something better.


Author Notes:

The original characters from Maria's Orphanage are described in more detail in my one-shot 'Birds of a Feather,' consider reading that one if you want to see more of them!