AN: TFW you randomly get "I Shall Be a Cat" stuck in your head and the only way to get it out is to listen to it. And then you randomly get the idea to write a Cat-rumi/Kit-rumi fic and the idea won't leave you alone until you write it.
So yes, crack-fic ahead where Kurumi can inexplicably shapeshift into a cat, and nobody questions it. If the premise isn't too outlandish, I hope you enjoy!
"Gah!" Haruna jerked back with a shriek, nearly falling off the garden bench as she felt something furry brush against her leg. When she looked down, she saw a small, off-white cat staring up at her with wide, pale brown eyes.
"Huh?" Haruna was surprised. It was the first time she'd ever seen a cat on school grounds. Technically, pets were not allowed, but this cat had no collar. And yet, it was unusually friendly and calm despite her having shrieked just a second ago. While Haruna tried to figure out where the cat had come from, and what she should do about it, the cat in question started weaving itself between her legs, nuzzling them with its head.
Haruna blushed and looked away. Oh, to be showered in affection by a cat! It was truly a humbling and life-altering experience! Shyly, she patted her lap, and to her delight, the cat was quick to jump up. It spun around in her lap several times, nesting, and once it was satisfied, it flopped down across her legs. Haruna could feel the cat's purr vibrating through her body, and she was certain she'd just experienced a little taste of Heaven.
"Hi! Haruna! It looks like you've made a new friend!" For a second time, Haruna was startled back to the present, only this time, she didn't need to look to know who it was. Miiko Takeshita waved at Haruna from the garden's entrance. She ran excitedly over when she noticed the cat.
"Kitty!" She laughed and held out her arms and the cat was quick to bounce from Haruna's lap to Miiko.
Haruna bit the inside of her cheek and looked away. Was that jealousy rising up from the pit of her stomach? How silly of her! Everyone who knew Miiko knew that she was an animal whisperer! Why would the cat be any more immune to her charms than any other animal she'd ever met? Haruna had no reason to be angry, it was nothing personal, but…
"So, you think she's cute, right, Haruna?" Miiko demanded, holding the cat back out to her. "Right?!"
"Huh?" Haruna flinched back for a moment, caught off guard by the question.
"The cat! Don't you think she's cute?" Miiko repeated, green eyes wide and earnest. Even that cat seemed interested to know.
"I… uh… well, yes, I… guess?" Haruna muttered, looking away again. Why was Miiko so insistent about—?
"See? I told you it would work!" Miiko beamed at the cat.
"Told who what would work?" Haruna shook her head, even more confused than before.
Miiko's subsequent reply answered several questions, but it raised so many more. "It's Kurumi! D'you remember that time she said she wanted you to think she was cute?" Miiko again held the cat out towards Haruna.
Haruna looked into the cat's pale brown eyes and her own widened in disbelief. "K-K-Kurumi…?!"
The cat, of course, could not reply verbally, but Haruna could've sworn it was smirking at her.
ooo
"So, when did you say she would change back?" Haruna asked through clenched teeth. Kurumi sauntered her way across Haruna's desk, that smug expression still on her furry little face. She swung her paw back and forth, tauntingly close to several of the loose items on Haruna's desk.
"Kurumi! Don't you dare!" Haruna pointed a warning finger at the little cat as she batted one of Haruna's textbooks halfway off the desk. Kurumi raised her paw again, but she looked at Haruna first. "Kurumi!"
THUD! The book slammed to the ground, drowning out Haruna's cry of frustration and outrage. At the same time, Kurumi leapt daintily off the desk, taking refuge in Miiko's arms once again. Standing beside her, Miyu was trying and failing to hold in her laughter.
"She certainly makes an excellent cat!" Miyu said, giving Kurumi's silky ears some scritichies.
"That's not a good thing, Miyu," Haruna muttered darkly, picking the book off the floor. "Now, Miiko, do you know when she'll change back?" she repeated, but Miiko shook her head.
"Miiko no knows! Kurumi never told her!"
"And yet you still went along with this idea?!"
"Miiko wanted to help her friend!" Miiko shrugged, failing to see Haruna's point. Kurumi said she wanted Haruna to think she was cute, this was the plan she set in motion, all Miiko did was support her. The mission wasn't over yet, though. Haruna found Kurumi's cat form cute, but was it still cute to her now that she knew the cat was Kurumi?
"Well, you certainly aren't helping your case," Haruna growled, hands on her hips as she glared at the cat scuttling around the empty classroom. She'd taken them there to prove that she really was Kurumi Shiratori, identifying her desk as soon as she entered. All the other students were still at lunch, so they were able to sneak in without incident.
"What sort of mischief are you getting into now?" Haruna chided, marching over to the wild little furball. She had an eraser in her mouth, and as soon as Haruna was close enough, she lunged. Chalk marks suddenly stained Haruna's uniform.
"Kurumi!" Haruna snapped, but Kurumi fled back to Miiko again.
For the entire rest of the day, Kurumi proved to them over and over again that her being a cat did nothing to hinder her pranking ability in any way. From leaving fur and dander in places she knew would make people sneeze, to leaving hairballs in the garden, to knocking everything off every surface she could find, to leaving claw marks in everything (she carved "Chairman" into Haruna's desk's seat), there was nothing Kurumi hadn't thought of. Haruna was furious about the chair, since it was the destruction of private property, but Miiko pointed out that if they were all wealthy enough to attend Arisugawa in the first place, they could afford to replace a few chairs.
Now, Kurumi was trotting over Haruna's textbooks to steal a pencil she left lying beside them.
"Kurumi!" Haruna reached out to grab Kurumi, but Kurumi was too quick. She wiggled her silky tail tauntingly, and she even felt Haruna's fingers brush the tip, but right when Haruna closed her fist, Kurumi darted away and Haruna was left clutching at the air.
ooo
With Kurumi still in cat form, the group agreed that at least one of them needed to take her home for the night to watch over her. With nothing better to do, the other two decided to join, and they ultimately wound up going to Miyu's house. Sneaking Kurumi in was easy. The hard part was ensuring nobody in Miyu's mansion saw her.
"What part of "quiet" do you not understand?" Haruna pleaded as Kurumi raced around Miyu's giant room. It seemed even bigger now!
"Now, now, Haruna, she's just having fun!" Miyu laughed, watching Kurumi in delight. Miiko nodded excitedly in agreement. Kurumi looked pleased that at least they appreciated her attempt at entertaining them. Yes, they had to be careful, but it wasn't as if they were hiding from demons!
Kurumi raced over to Haruna. She really needed to lighten and loosen up, and Kurumi knew just how to help!
"Ugh, what do you want?" Haruna asked stiffly. Even though she agreed to help keep an eye on Kurumi, it was more for Miyu's sake than anyone else's. She was trying to read, but Kurumi refused to let her. She pawed at Haruna's book until Haruna finally put it down. She crossed her arms and frowned, silently awaiting the cat's explanation.
Kurumi stared up at her for a moment, big brown eyes shining brightly, then she slowly made her way into Haruna's lap.
"Wha-? Kurumi!" Haruna looked flustered, but she didn't dare try to push Kurumi away, for fear of accidentally hurting her.
"Mrrooowwww," Kurumi mewled as she kept climbing up Haruna's body until her forepaws were resting on the other girl's shoulders. She reveled in the fact that she knew Haruna was too scared of hurting her to be more assertive, although she was much the same way, careful to never use her claws or fangs if she was too close to any of her other bandmates.
"What?" Haruna demanded, nose inches away from Kurumi's whiskers.
"Mrrow!"
"I don't speak Cat," Haruna deadpanned.
Kurumi responded by nuzzling her mouth, which meant Haruna received a furry punch to the lips. "Mpmh!"
At the same time, Kurumi purred again, rubbing Haruna's cheek with her own, silky tail swishing happily.
"Awww, isn't she cute, Haruna?" Miiko clapped, tilting her head and smiling. Haruna didn't answer. A second later, she was left sputtering as she was slapped in the face by Kurumi's long, silky tail. She swatted Kurumi's tail out of her face, eyes flashing.
"What was that for?!" she demanded.
"Kurumi wants you to think she's cute!" Miiko cried.
Haruna crinkled her nose. "I already said she was earlier today!"
Miiko only sighed and shook her head, but she was still smiling slightly. Don't give up, Kurumi! I believe in you!
They had the entire rest of the night for Kurumi to do something that Haruna found truly adorable. Although, of course, Haruna was a little more than skeptical. Even if Kurumi's cat form was cute, it was hard to see her as cute when she kept causing even more trouble than usual. It was as if she was trying to embody all the most annoying stereotypes about cats and claim it was something Haruna was supposed to like.
The only good thing Haruna could say was that at least Kurumi kept her claws sheathed, minus turning her desk chair into a scratching post. Haruna dreaded to imagine a Kitten Kurumi with catnip. The thought alone was so unholy, Haruna quickly cast it out of her mind. Reading was no longer an option, since Kurumi kept sitting on the book every time Haruna opened it.
"Fine. What? What do you want?" She threw her hands up frustratedly.
Kurumi only tilted her head and flicked her silky ears. "Mew! Mew, mew! Mew!" She licked the back of Haruna's hand and looked into her eyes.
"Ok, I guess that was… kind of… cute," Haruna gave Kurumi a halfhearted smile despite herself.
At the same time, Miiko hid a laugh behind her hand. Do your best, Kurumi! It's working!
ooo
Although Kurumi was unable to prove herself genuinely cute in the eyes of Haruna before they went to bed, the night wasn't all for naught. As the hours grew later, Miyu led Haruna and Miiko away to prepare for bed. Somehow, though, Haruna got a little turned around trying to get back to Miyu's room. Since she took the longest to get ready for bed, the others were already in Miyu's room by the time Haruna started heading back.
Embarrassed, she went looking for the nearest member of Miyu's mansion's staff. Surely someone could give Haruna directions! But it was bad luck on Haruna's part to run into one of the grumpier workers, one who did not recognize her.
"Hey! You don't live here!" he snapped. "What are you doing here? And how did you get in?"
Poor Haruna was left frozen, but her silence only irritated the man more. Haruna tried to stutter out an apology, but she was drowned out by the man's continued, angry interrogation. Haruna was seconds away from bursting into tears when they both heard a horrificstrangled screech.
"What the—?!" The man whipped around, forgetting about Haruna in an instant. As soon as his eyes were off of her, she ran as fast as she could in the other direction. Maybe he had no idea what made such an ungodly noise, but Haruna recognized it immediately. Thank you, Kurumi…
Several minutes later, Kurumi caught up to her and led her back to Miyu's room. Although she was unable to tell Haruna the story, it had her in stitches just the same. None of them were surprised that Haruna was the last to finish in the bathroom, she was always so meticulous with herself and routines, even at night, but as the minutes dragged on, they started to suspect that it was more than just an extended shower.
"She must've gotten lost!" Miyu fretted in embarrassment. "Haruna and I spend so much time together at school that we hardly ever visit one another's houses!" Even though all of them were wealthy, Miyu's home was still the biggest. In Miiko and Miyu's haste to go looking for their missing friend, they failed to shut the bedroom door behind them all the way…
Thanks to her keen sense of smell, Kurumi found Haruna before Miyu and Miiko. Likewise, while Miyu and Miiko tried to retrace Haruna's steps to the bathroom and showers, Kurumi knew that their plan wouldn't work. If Haruna was anywhere on the path between Miyu's room and the showers, she wouldn't be lost. Kurumi's deduction was correct, and she found the poor Chairman in the entirely wrong hallway, although at least she was still on the correct floor.
ooo
An hour later, the quartet was in bed, Kurumi curled between Miiko and Haruna, Miyu on the other side of Haruna. The original plan was to give Kurumi her own bed made from spare pillows, but after Kurumi's assistance earlier, Haruna felt in debt to the cat. Halfway through the night, however, she woke up feeling a little lightheaded. Kurumi was sleeping half on Haruna's face, making it harder for her to breathe.
"Kurumi…" Haruna growled tiredly from underneath Kurumi. She reached a hand up as if to move Kurumi aside, but she stopped a moment later. As endlessly exasperating as the smaller girl could be, she always managed to be there for Haruna when it really counted. Little things like that helped remind Haruna why she and Kurumi were friends. Sometimes, the nonstop pranking made it easy to forget.
But Haruna felt a rush of affection wash over her. She smiled softly and ran her fingers carefully through Kurumi's fur, not wishing to—
The weight on Haruna's chest suddenly increased tenfold. It was such a quick change that the breath was crushed out of her before she could make a sound. By the end of the surprise transformation, all four girls were wide awake, a very human Kurumi now straddling Haruna.
"H-hey, Chairman!" Kurumi grinned sheepishly as Haruna's hand fell from her hair.
"Kurumi! Y-you're… you're back!" Haruna's warm expression was gone. "And… hey! Wait a minute! Who are you calling Chairman?!"
Now that Kurumi was human and could speak again, all the lectures Haruna had been saving up that day were ready to come pouring out. The only thing that kept her from completely turning into the Chairman Kurumi was always accusing her being was Miyu. She placed a hand on Haruna's arm and gave her a knowing look.
I understand that you want to lecture her for all the trouble she caused you today, and you do have a right to express your feelings to her, but can we please not do this at 3AM?
Haruna closed her mouth, shoulders slumping as she realized that Miyu was right. Kurumi rolled off of her. Already, some of her sheepishness was gone. When Haruna demanded to know the motive behind everything Kurumi did that day, Kurumi answered shamelessly.
"It's like I told you last week in class! And Miiko reminded you today, too! I want you to compliment me, Haruna!" Even though she was back to her human self, Kurumi started nuzzling Haruna again and rubbing her head affectionately against the other girl. "I just wanted you to think I'm cute, meow! So, I decided, "I shall be a cat!" until you do!" She wrapped her arms around Haruna and squeezed her tight. "And I did it! I made you think I'm cute, Haruna! Meow! I wouldn't have turned back into a human if you didn't think I was cute, meow!" she cried.
Haruna's face was almost as red as her hair. "Talk about being stressful…" she muttered under her breath, but she made no attempt to push Kurumi away. Instead, although she wasn't returning Kurumi's embrace in full, she still allowed her arms to hang loosely around the smaller girl's tiny frame. Grinning from ear to ear, Miiko and Miyu winked at one another while Kurumi continued to meow and hug Haruna happily. "Operation: I Shall Be a Cat Until Haruna Thinks I'm Cute" was a smashing success!
What should we call ourselves who are chasing after love? Sweetly, gracefully, fearlessly, courageously, we will welcome that moment! Love is universal! Someday, I'll search for it! Don't force yourself, just be your natural cat self! Skipping steps, stealthy steps. Sneaky steps, eager steps. Catlike steps, moving smoothly and flexibly.
"Hey, I gotta sleep! Up all night's impossible for me, right?"
I shall fidget, then curl up into a ball in your warm arms to sleep…
"Meow!"
AN: Ok but tell me that Kurumi isn't the picture-perfect example of a stereotypical annoying a-hole cat? And yet Haruna can't help but love her anyway (aka every cat owner with a smug cat). We've all seen the memes, LOL!
