Jasper felt miserable as he walked through the forest with Alice. Right now animal blood didn't sound appealing at all and he wished he could go into town and drink human blood.
But he couldn't.
And he hated it.
He felt nauseous and his bones hurt. His fangs ached. His throat hurt. And he felt so fucking weak God.
They came to a stop when the scent of a bear was brought by the wind.
-You should get it.- Jasper told before Alice could speak.- You need it more than I do right now. I'll see what I can find.- He said. Alice turned to look at him and opened her mouth ready to protest. He silenced her with a kiss.- Please?
She huffed.
-Fine. But be careful, alright?
-I will.- He gave her one last peck before running off. He smelt the air for something carnivorous.
He found a mountain lion.
And growing quiet he began stalking it.
He was quite proud at being able to take it down without too much of a fight. Unlike Emmett he didn't like playing with his food, so with one clean bite on its throat the mountain lion was down, it wasn't until he started feeding that he realized how much was he starving and as foul as the scent and taste were he couldn't stop himself from drinking it all.
Even if that made his bones ache worse. But he didn't care for he was starving.
After eating that mountain lion he still seeked out a bobcat and another mountain lion along with three fishers. The sun was rising and the wind blew cold across the forest making the branches dance and the leaves ruffle each other giving a pleasing song to the woods.
He was chasing another fisher when he caught the smell of Edward and Bella and made a point to get as far from them as possible not wanting to interrupt most likely Bella's first hunt and experience with her new vampiric abilities.
Plus. He was scared to face her. As a vampire she would now be able to see his scars. All of them.
Newborns never reacted well to them. Vampires in general never reacted well to them.
Still .
His loss of the fisher was short lived because he soon found another bobcat to give chase to. He liked running so he let it run for a while until it got close to the line between territories. There he grabbed it before it could escape him.
As he devoured it his ear caught a sound but considering it didn't came again and there was no scent he went back to the bobcat.
When he was done he sat there for a moment holding his stomach and begging for the blood to settle down.
This was the first time he ever drank so much animal blood in one day.
And he felt like throwing his insides out.
And throwing up he did.
Even if he fights against it he couldn't stop it from happening. It was too much blood. Too much of a gross smell and taste. The blood crawled back up.
All of it.
It blazed up his throat and his stomach constricted. His bones ached and his blood burnt.
And when he was done he was left shaking and panting. Fingers curling into fists as anger settled in and in a surge of blinding fury he lunged for the bobcat, grabbing it by the neck and throwing it into the forest so it would disappear from his sight.
"Why don'tcha give meh the body? Ah can git us fed jus' fine."
-No! You're not gettin' us "fed". Have you lost your mind? How many times do I've to tell you? Stop with the human blood. This wouldn't be hard by now if you just stopped going behind my back to get human blood.
"Dun't talk as if ya weren't responsible either. You've slipped. Have ya forgotten? Ah at least do it ta keep us runnin'."
-Runnin' my foot.
"J.J. do please tell meh. When was the last time ya were able ta shapeshift? Or when was the last time ya stepped out of that room without feelin' needles piercin' yer retina due daylight? How many dizzy spells ya git per month? Headaches?"
Jasper didn't answer. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the river.
"Don'tcha have the feelin' that maybe, jus' maybe, this diet ain't for us?"
-I hate animal blood. But I hate even more the terror from the humans whenever I bite 'em. I hate how it clings to me like a second skin. I'm not you, I can't just ignore it.
"Why'd'ya even care? Ya dun't even know 'em. It shouldn't affect ya whatever they feel."
-I'm an empath. I don't get to choose to not be affected by their emotions, you know that perfectly well.
"Ah know but-"
-Can you just stop talkin'? Please?- Jasper requested. He wanted silence right now.
Thankfully, The Major did as told.
He watched the river flow for a moment before deciding to crawl closer to the river and without thinking much about it he dove his head into the water. Gripping the edge of the bank as he did so and swallowing as much water as he could.
Sometimes, if he filled his stomach with other liquids or even human food, he could trick himself into feeling full.
And sometimes, if he had luck, the never-ending burn would settle into an ache.
The water wasn't the greatest in taste since he could almost swear he could taste the dogs but at least it chased off the taste of the vomit.
He pulled back after a while. Shaking his head to get rid of the water from his hair.
"Ya sure love puttin' our backs up ta attack don'tcha?"
Jasper groaned as he dropped his head back.
-God please shut up.- He plead. He laid back on the ground and starred at the light seeping into the skies above him. Felt the shot of needles on his brain as light stabbed his eyes. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.
He was still starving.
The water didn't work this time. Great .
He wasn't sure for how long he laid there on the ground staring at the swirling clouds above him but at some point he heard footsteps and a familiar scent reached his nose.
Alice came to a halt above his head. Her beautiful face blocking his sight of the clouds. A light frown adorning her face.
-Hi.- He greeted as Alice crouched down. Her fingertips tracing his jaw.
-You alright?- Her voice was soft as concern stained her emotions. He gave her a short nod but she didn't seem convinced. She reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it up. The concern in her emotions grew and he took the hem from her, pulling his shirt down again before rolling on his stomach and getting on his knees so he could kiss her.
-I'm fine, don't worry.
-You aren't.- She pressed her lips into a thin line.- I hunted. Two bears.- She told pulling at her shirt.- I know you don't like biting my neck but it's the safest spot considering we are in a open place.
He would have protested if the idea of venom hadn't made his insides burn twice as bad. He hadn't gotten too much venom due Alice not being able to hunt which in return had made him weaker and more prompt to getting easily overworked. And he had gotten rid of most of the remaining venom on his bite on the dog.
And thus he didn't think it twice before pulling her into a hug and sinking his fangs into her neck. The taste of venom was glorious and cold and the fact that he allowed himself more than a sip after so long almost sent him into a frenzy.
But he did good at reminding himself who was he biting. He hugged her closer. The venom took some of the ache from his bones. Making him sigh in relief and when he forced himself to pull back he licked the bite and planted a kiss on her jaw.
-Now you are going hunting.- Alice told as he pulled back. He grimaced at that.- It's not up to question.
He did end up hunting.
A fisher since it was small and carnivorous. Its blood wasn't the greatest in taste but it was enough to get rid of the silver from his eyes and by the time he decided to return back Alice's bite had healed completely leaving nothing but smooth skin behind.
They didn't run back to the house since he wanted to take his sweet time walking. He made sure to avoid the patches of sunlight that leaked from between the leaves from the trees. He hadn't been burnt under it in decades now and to be honest he didn't miss it all.
That pain was irritating no matter how small the burn was to be.
Alice on the other hand didn't since she had no need to and he loved it. The sight of her sparkling skin was something that would never cease to steal a smile from him. She looked gorgeous. Like a goddess.
She was swinging their entwined hands. Their footsteps almost on sync.
Even before reaching the house he could feel the amusement in the air and the surprise. The pride and the shock.
He was quite amused himself to find out the reason behind it.
Bella had defeated Emmett at armwrestling.
That was expected of course. Emmett could have a strength similar to a newborn's but he could never stand a chance against the real deal.
Vampires could be taken down by newborns in a heartbeat.
And the only creatures capable to take down a newborn would be a black blood since they were the only ones strong enough to do so.
Still .
Right now, all things considered, Bella was the strongest vampire in the house.
He had been it at some point but with his growing weakness now he doubted he could even take a newborn without troubles.
So focused in his thoughts he was the sudden surprise and shock in the air made him halt. Alarm. Horror. Sympathy. Sadness.
Bella .
Dark gold met red.
Her crimson gaze fit for a newborn would had once upon a time driven him to keep his guard up and attack at the slightest movement but he found himself not doing such a thing when she approached him.
Her emotions were all over the place. No disgust. No fear. No wariness. Just crushing sadness.
She was looking him up and down almost as if seeing him for the first time. He understood though, humans were unable to see his scars aside from a few from his arms.
And of course the ones he got on his back from when he was a soldier.
But no one but Alice saw him shirtless so those didn't matter.
She reached out to him and he tried to not tense. Same hand that could crush him to death right now did nothing but rest on his cheek. She seemed fascinated despite all and he found it rather amusing.
He was used to having his scars touched so he didn't react to her tracing them. Esme liked to do the same during those rare occasions when he laid his head on her lap. Rosalie had also traced a few from his hand once and so had Emmett and Carlisle.
It was still an odd thing though.
To have people touching them with such sadness and hidden fascination.
Or to have Alice kissing them.
His scars had been one of the things to make the South tremble in its boots. So to have someone showing such gentle attitude towards them was strange. Foreign.
Unsettling .
But it also gave him a weird feeling. An odd mix between warmness and pain that he couldn't quite figure out.
For a moment he didn't understood why Alice left his side.
And then Bella did the most unexpected thing in the world.
She pulled him into a hug a bit too hard but he tried to not give it mind. Newborns had no control over their strength whatsoever. That didn't mean the action didn't make him tense though.
Not for the touch but the fact that as a newborn her senses must be heightened and therefore she had a bigger chance at catching his scent.
He found her odd. Newborns were meant to be vicious. No control . But her emotions felt... more at ease than he had ever felt them.
~~~~~~~~~
Bella had known. After she had asked about Jasper when she didn't see him Edward had told her.
That the scars she had once seen on his arms were nothing but a few of the actual amount he had. Hidden from the humans but not from vampires and other supernatural creatures.
And when she said it couldn't be that bad Edward had told her.
Told her that his scars were covering most of his skin and that vampires who didn't knew him had the habit to react either with fear or violence.
He warned her about it.
But seeing it... God it was awful . It was worse than what she could have ever expected. His neck. His hands. His jawline. Edward hadn't been exaggerating at all. He was covered in them.
And while the scars seemed to scream "dangerous" she couldn't help but wonder how many had tried to kill Jasper.
The same number that had died in the attempt.
A little voice at the back of her head told.
Turns out all this time he had been stronger than she had given him credit for.
He had survived Hell itself and to still wield such a kind heart...
He was amazing.
Something caught her attention.
His scent.
He smelt like Alice. Like. It was so intense it was almost as if she had Alice right infront of her. It wasn't the same as Rosalie and Emmett or Esme and Carlisle wielding their mates' scents like a perfume. No.
He straight up smelt like Alice.
And a bit like dog but Bella guessed that was to be expected since she heard there had been a fight.
His eyes were black, but she could swear they were more black than they should.
Pulling him into a hug felt exhilarating. And this time she made sure to keep her strength in check so as to not spook him. She had wanted to hug him for so long but being a human hadn't allowed her to. She hadn't wanted to put him in a difficult situation.
He still tensed up in the embrace before seeming to relax a bit.
But he let her hug him.
She.
Was.
Hugging him!
~~~~~~~~
Alice frowned as her fingers came to a halt mid carding them through Jasper's hair. He was kneeling between her legs. After forcing him to take a shower to get rid of the dogs' stench she had made him drink a bit more of venom for her peace of mind.
And as her fingers carded through his damp hair she came across a peculiar thing.
A few locks seemed almost duller than the rest. When a vampire was turned their hair became healthier and a more vivid version of its former self. Softer. Better.
His hair was golden. Yes. But for what she was told his hair had been golden brown as a human. When he was turned it started to grow lighter and lighter until it was golden. Maria had hoped for it to go white or silver since that was an odd hair color among vampires but of course it didn't happen.
She wasn't sure of the reason but the sight of that lock gave her a bad feeling.
-Jazz?- She called softly as he pulled back, licking the bite before looking up at her.
Even the silver looked duller.
She touched his face.
-Are you okay?- She asked starting to feel fear crawling in. He frowned at her.
-Of course, why wouldn't I be?- Calm washed over her as he rose up to press a kiss on her lips. His love and affection bathing her as he gently pushed her down on the bed.
And before Alice could notice it he had managed to make her forget about the oddities of his appearance under the strength of his emotions and touches.
That should have been proof enough that he was hiding something from her.
