The stress started to creep in that Friday.
Their history final was in a week, and Bella's mental countdown had already begun. As their professor went over the practice exam that day, the room had been quiet—the students eager to soak in as much information as possible.
Bella needed to maintain above a 3.8 GPA. Anything less than a 3.5 in this class would jeopardize that.
As she left the lecture hall with Edward, she was partially, and unrighteously irritated at his light, care-free attitude. It wasn't that he had been distracting during class. He just didn't care as much as she did, and Bella knew that she wasn't being fair.
He was just a happy vampire on a cloudy Friday.
And why shouldn't he be? The Victoria threat had been eliminated, and it seemed like everything was poof—back to normal. He had no worries for any exams—his future was what he wanted to be, whenever he wanted it to be. Bella couldn't blame him for his freedom. After all, they had two vastly different lives.
"Come over tonight," he said. "Movie?"
Bella's response was automatic. "I need to study."
"You've been studying all week, and I was thinking of renting that new Tom Cruise movie."
She tried to keep her irritation at bay. "No Tom Cruise. No movie. Just me, and my lovely notes for the rest of the evening."
He pulled out his phone conspiratorially. "I have an idea. Let's just ask Alice how your exam will go if you choose Tom Cruise tonight."
Bella shook her head. Alice had already told her the outcome. "I won't feel confident if I don't put in the work like I always do. Really, Edward, it's fine."
He stopped them and gave her a bright smile as he gazed down at her. "We haven't had much time to spend together."
"Yes, and actually, neither has my father," she pointed out. "In fact, he was lied to for most of last week."
The subject was still a sore one for her. Edward had lied to Charlie on her behalf, and morally, it completely upended her. Had she been dishonest with her father before? Of course. She was once a teenager who hated both of her parents for no good reason. But now, she was an adult, and Charlie treated her like one. Honesty was just an unspoken rule at that point.
Besides the Cullens' vampirism, which was a secret entirely out of her control, she should have no reason to have to lie to her father.
"I know," he said placatingly. "It was necessary."
Not all of it was necessary. "You know, he wouldn't have had any issues with me staying over."
He shook his head. "I disagree."
"Edward, I'm twenty years old. My dad knows that you're my boyfriend."
He was still smiling, but there was tension in his expression. "You're unmarried."
Bella puffed out a breath. "It doesn't matter that I'm unmarried."
"It absolutely does. Just consider it from your father's perspective."
"It's 2022. I can stay over, and my father would just tell me to be safe."
He shook his head, chuckling as if she were absolutely ridiculous.
"I don't—" He cut her off by opening the car door for her, motioning for her to get in. "Edward, I'm serious."
"About what?"
"I respect your values, and I respect your past, but I don't think you're very… adaptable."
"Adaptable," Edward said plainly. "I adapt quite well, I think, given that I blend in with your kind and can maintain an acceptable composure."
Bella sighed, letting her shoulders drop. "You know what I mean."
"I don't, Bella. You say you respect my values, yet you challenge them."
They stood for a moment longer before he pulled the door open wider and gestured once more. Dejectedly, she got into the passenger seat.
They didn't talk during the drive. Bella's body language was on the defense, with her arms crossed tightly across her chest, and a glare directed at the sky above. More often than not, she found that she couldn't get through to Edward. He used his age and his experience to shadow her arguments and disregard her opinions. It wasn't healthy. It shouldn't be like this.
But then her arms loosened, because she realized that Edward had made the wrong turn. And Edward Cullen rarely made mistakes.
"You were supposed to turn right," she told him.
"I know where I'm going."
He was going to his house, not hers, like they had discussed during class. "No, Edward. I need to go home. I need to study."
"You can study at my place like you have been the last few days."
The car sped up, and Bella's heart began pumping just a little faster. The seatbelt across her chest felt unbelievably constricting. "Edward. Take me home."
"We shouldn't leave each other alone when we fight," he insisted with a hardness to his tone. "We should fix this."
The car snaked up the mountain road, heading up, up, and up, straight to the Cullen property. Bella watched the trees whiz by with alarm. What could she realistically do? Jump out of the car?
Once Edward parked in front of his house, Bella didn't get out. He pulled open her door.
"Will you take me home?" She asked him instead of stepping out.
"No."
"I don't want to be here."
"And I don't want to fight with you."
Bella stared at him. There was disbelief there, but also a layer of fear. A disagreement with a vampire felt, undoubtedly, scary.
Reluctantly, she peeled herself out of the seat, hyper-aware of her own movements. She decided to ask once more. "Edward?"
"Inside, Bella."
She flinched when he reached around her to grab her backpack. And then he shut her door, locked the car, and was already on his way to the front door. Her feet moved only when he turned back to look at her.
Bella didn't like the way his eyes darkened. She didn't like it at all.
When she stepped into the Cullen home, it seemed empty, but that didn't mean it was. Edward deposited her backpack on the couch and didn't say a word.
She should call a ride home. Edward stood between her and her backpack, and she needed her phone.
But something told her to stay put. Perhaps it was the tension in his neck, or the distinct way he was looking at her. When his eyes narrowed, she took one tiny step back. There was something off in the way he was examining her. Contemplating.
It was at that moment when Carlisle descended the main staircase. And with him, was Jasper.
"I'll need to report out next week," Jasper was saying, his voice echoing in the open space. "They understand the delay."
Carlisle chuckled. "They weren't very understanding a few centuries ago."
"If there's a reason, and it's not treason." There was a mischievous edge to his voice. "I'm told that's the Cullen way."
When they made it down to the living room, Carlisle greeted Bella.
"Carlisle," she greeted him back, feeling unusually thankful for his presence. His light golden eyes were so drastically different than Edward's at that point in time. When she looked over at Jasper, he was watching Edward.
Could they sense the tension? Bella realized that her hands had been fidgeting—pressing against her fingers, toying with her nails.
"She's fine," Edward said suddenly. "And I'm fine."
Carlisle cocked his head to the side, and Jasper directed his attention to him.
"I will not," Edward insisted through his teeth. Bella took another little step back.
And then, Carlisle spoke out loud. "Go, Edward." He tilted his head up, his expression serious, and authoritative. "Go now."
That was when Bella noticed that they had been conversing through Edward's mind. It was only one-way dialogue, but conversing nonetheless.
Bella watched Edward. He wanted to argue—he had a clear tell on his face whenever he did. It was something Bella was getting quite adept at recognizing. His brows would dip, and his eyes would widen ever so slightly, clearly prepping his argument. And then his jaw would clench, followed by a swallow, and he'd be ready to tell you, You're wrong, silly Bella. You don't understand. I don't think you quite know what I know.
How patronizing it all sounded in her brain.
But Edward didn't say another word to Carlisle. He didn't even glance back at her and tell her where he was going. He simply left through the front door, his steps heavy and agitated.
After the door slammed shut, Carlisle turned to Bella. "Edward told me that you wanted to volunteer at the hospital. Are you interested in medicine, Bella?"
It took her a few seconds to truly process the question. She slowly tore her eyes away from the front door, and she swallowed, trying to ease some tension there—trying to ease the tension in her body as a whole. "It's more of a resume booster, if I'm honest. For my transfer application."
"Transfer application?" Carlisle asked.
"Yes, to the University of Washington. Next fall."
There was a weird pause before Carlisle stated, "Seattle."
"That's the one."
Bella turned her head to find Jasper looking at her. And then, his eyes darted away—so quickly that Bella found herself questioning if they had made eye contact in the first place.
"I'll speak with the hospital," Carlisle said eventually. "I'm sure the nurses would appreciate your help."
"Absolutely," Bella said. "I'd be happy to lend a hand. Preferably starting out over winter break. That's two weeks, starting December 19th."
"Noted."
Bella glanced once out of the front windows. "Is Edward okay?"
"He'll be fine," Carlisle said, rounding the brand new sectional and taking a seat. Bella couldn't even tell that there had been two gaping holes in the wall from earlier that week. The Cullens worked in perfection.
"Bella," Jasper said, and she turned to look at him. "Would you like to go home?"
His eyes were sharp. Knowing. And of course they were. With a sudden spike of embarrassment, Bella realized that anyone in the house would have heard their little scuffle outside.
But she merely pursed her lips into a tight smile. "Yes, I would very much like to go home." She walked over to her bag and dug around for her phone. "But I can call an Uber."
"Nonsense, Bella," Carlisle said. "Jasper can take you."
As if she were pre-programmed to say it, as if it were an excuse, she said, "Jasper doesn't own a car."
Carlisle grinned. "Thankfully, we have five others."
Was it really so insulting to politely decline help? Bella could still feel that her heart rate wasn't back to normal. She could use a little break from vampires today.
It wasn't even raining. Maybe she could walk; it would certainly clear her head.
She grabbed her backpack from the couch and put it on. "Actually, I should just walk home. I could use the exercise."
Carlisle and Jasper exchanged a glance.
"Ten miles?" Carlisle asked warily.
"It's mostly flat surface once I get down the hill."
"Jasper will go with you."
She began shaking her head. "It's really no problem—"
"Edward's hunting, Bella. I insist Jasper comes with you."
Bella hadn't heard that tone before—hard, and almost scathing. There was no arguing against it.
So, she wouldn't be getting a break after all.
Before Jasper led her out the door, she stopped by the kitchen and grabbed one of the dozens of sealed plastic water-bottles from the fridge. She also pulled open a drawer that contained neatly stacked granola bars, arranged by size and flavor. She grabbed two random ones.
"I could have found my way home," Bella muttered as they walked down the driveway.
"Carlisle's being precautious."
"What does that mean?"
"He knows his kin."
"Edward?"
"He hasn't hunted for a few days."
Was that it then? Edward Cullen was just… hangry? Could she blame his controlling attitude on the lack of blood? Could she blame his condescending tone on his meal plan?
They made it to the edge of the property where the downhill slant began. The road was pavement, but there was loose rubble on the side that they chose as their path. Bella silently wished she had picked shoes with better traction that morning instead of her Converse.
"Edward hunted…" she thought for a moment. "On Tuesday. It's only been three days."
"He didn't have enough. He should know better if he chooses to be around you."
They had been in class with other humans. They had been alone in his car. How risky were these situations now that she thought about them?
"And you're accompanying me now, because—"
"Because the boy easily frenzies with his bloodlust. Carlisle will not risk you falling and bleeding and drawing attention to yourself."
Falling and bleeding. She had some confidence that she wasn't that careless, but she also wasn't sure if a simple scrape on a tree branch would be dangerous. She didn't really want to find out.
"Well, thank you for the company. I hope it's not too much trouble for you."
"I have to circle the Cullen territory. You're not the only reason why I'd be out here."
There was a lot of circling going on in the vampire community. It was a miracle none of them got dizzy. "Is there an active threat?"
His eyes roamed the vast, thick wall of trees beside them. "Not to the Cullens."
Only to me, by my very own boyfriend. The situation was bizarre. And Jasper was here playing the part of a… safe escort?
She considered this for a moment, citing Jasper's skill with strategy and safety, his intuition with Victoria, and the sparring he seemed to be leading with Emmett. And of course, the fact that he was only kind of part of the family. This all led Bella to draw her own conclusions. "Are you a bodyguard of some sort?"
The trees were forgotten. Jasper's head snapped to her. "Explain your question."
"I'm asking if you work for the Cullens as a protector or something. You seem highly knowledgeable, and you've handled Victoria—"
"Perhaps," he said. "Though the Cullens don't necessarily need guarding given their numbers. They need something more like direction."
"So, you provide them with direction."
Jasper didn't say more, so Bella questioned teasingly, "Are you a salaried employee?"
"You're applying your human concepts to my world. It doesn't quite work that way."
"So, how does it work?"
"You might deal in money. We deal in blood and servitude."
Blood and servitude. That sounded pretty intense, and just a tad dramatic. "Well, how do the Cullens pay you in blood or servitude?"
Jasper sighed, his gaze roaming the path ahead. "They don't."
"Then—"
"You're asking a lot of questions."
Bella glanced at him. "Is that bad?"
Jasper didn't respond. There was a hardness to his face that Bella didn't understand. So, they kept walking, until he held out an arm to block her path. He listened for a moment, adjusted his stance, and waited.
And then he was gone. Bella looked behind her, and then straight ahead to search for him. It was mere seconds before he appeared, and they resumed their pace like nothing had happened.
Bella could only assume that he was scouting. For Edward, or for his own circling purposes—she wasn't sure.
"How long would it take for you to run me home?" She questioned.
"Less than two minutes."
Bella nodded, and Jasper added, "Just say the word."
But the oxygen was fresh, and the air was cool, and misty. Bella needed to study, but being out here calmed her nerves, especially after Edward's behavior.
It never felt okay when your choices were taken away from you, especially by someone who supposedly cared. Thinking about it depressed her, so she tried to focus on the present—the sound of her shoes on the rubble below, the feeling of the light breeze on her cheeks. The sounds of nature surrounding them.
As they kept walking, Jasper would occasionally disappear. Each time he reappeared beside her, it was slightly disorienting, but she tried her best to keep a straight face. Her heart-rate, unfortunately, would elevate without her control.
Jasper addressed this after a few times of the disappearing game. "Our speed is something you're not used to."
She took a deep breath, then let it out. "I don't like that I can't predict what you'll do next."
"Well, you aren't Alice."
"No, I am human." As if he needed a reminder.
After Jasper seemed to take a break from his disappearing, Bella tried some casual conversation." So, how long have you been with the Cullens?"
His answer was quick, and unhelpful. "A while."
"You know, you're very poignant with your words. Your details are insightful."
He glanced at her sideways. "You're much too chatty than what I'm used to."
"And what are you used to?"
"Silence."
After a few minutes of quieting down, Bella couldn't help herself. "I'm sorry, did you mean silence because the humans you're usually around end up…"
She couldn't really bring herself to say it.
But Jasper provoked her. "Finish your sentence, Bella."
"You know what I mean."
He was amused. Quite amused. "The human makes assumptions about things she can't possibly know about."
"What?"
"There's no reason for me to believe that Edward has shared anything substantial about our world with you."
Was it still that obvious? "He's shared some things." There was a moment of silence between them. "Do you know that Alice asked me if I wanted to change?"
His eyes snapped to hers. "If you wanted to change?"
"You know, become a vampire," she murmured. "I don't know."
Jasper seemed to not understand. "You don't know?"
"Well, I don't know enough, obviously. The Cullens are… more human than not, do you agree?"
Jasper seemed distant, as if he were gazing at her from over a fence. "What is your point, Bella?"
"My point is that I don't think I truly understand what being a vampire would be like. You know, a non-Cullen vampire."
"You're curious about those who feed on humans?"
"Those like you," Bella clarified.
"When you turn, you don't think you will follow the Cullen lifestyle?"
"I'm not saying that. I just—it seems that there are two paths here. Those who drink from humans, and those who prefer animals."
"Wrong," he refuted. "Both consume human blood. One voluntarily, the other involuntarily."
That was surely an interesting perspective. "You're saying the Cullens slip occasionally?"
"The Cullens believe that they have a choice," he explained. "But I don't believe so. Every cell in their bodies demands the nutrients from human blood. Yet, they choose to hunt animals. I believe that this restriction has caused a psychological shift in their ability to control themselves."
"Really?" That would certainly explain Jasper's control advantage.
He paused. "Let's talk about chocolate—that had been a good comparison had it not?"
Bella nodded, and he continued, "The Cullens are humans that have messed up their hunger cues with severe dietary restrictions. It has caused this incessant addiction to chocolate—to sugar—that whenever they're around it, they simply cannot resist."
"It's an eating disorder," Bella said, understanding.
"That's my theory."
Their shoes crunched on the loose stone as they made their way down the hill. "Edward said he doesn't trust your control."
Jasper's head tilted towards her. "Do you believe him?"
"No." The answer was so easy, it was almost unfair. Jasper had not once shown any sign of bloodlust, even when she had been outright bleeding in front of him.
"He struggles a lot," she said, kicking at a larger, loose pebble.
"And this scares you."
It did. It scared her more than she probably realized. "It's only natural, right?" She paused, considering. "Edward can be scary when he wants to be."
Jasper disagreed with her on that one. "There is nothing scary about Edward Cullen. You fail to measure up against him simply because you are human."
"That's it, then? The speciesism argument?"
"There is no argument here, Bella. There is only reality."
She stared straight ahead. "You're implying that I'm powerless."
"I'm not implying. I am telling you."
She didn't feel irritated or offended by this. Her acceptance was quick and solemn, because deep down, she already knew it. "Humans and vampires usually don't mix."
Jasper, with his hands clasped around his back, went back to watching the trees. "If you can't establish equality, then what do you really have?"
His phone began buzzing. Jasper placed the phone to his ear, but said nothing. And then, he hung up.
There was muted resignation in his tone. "Alice sends her regards."
"That was Alice?"
"She wants me to stop giving you relationship advice."
"What? Why?"
"It's what she wants."
Because she probably had a vision. "I wonder what she knows."
"Alice Cullen knows everything." And just when Bella thought he'd fall back into his silence, he gave her just a sliver more. "She's the most frightening creature I have ever met."
A/N: This chapter: Inexcusable toxic behavior, vampiric eating disorders, and unsolicited relationship advice.
An excerpt for next time:
And then she jerked up to sit when the phone screen blanked, and she was receiving an incoming call. From Jasper Whitlock.
She cleared her throat, her heart rate certainly elevated. "Hello?"
"Did Alice put you up to this?"
As a matter of fact, she had. "Maybe."
There was a pause on the phone, and then, "Use it sparingly."
The three distinct beeps told her that he had hung up.
See you next week.
