AN: No infringement intended.
Chapter Four
Since Bella wasn't eighteen and I wasn't her legal guardian, I couldn't take her to an indoor shooting range. It was best to drive the extra forty minutes to show her my favorite spot in the desert. The secluded land afforded me a place to unload my frustrations without park rangers or the law sticking their noses into my business. The weather was decent, and the perfect time outside to be practicing your aim, or in this case, teaching a newbie how to handle a gun.
I'm glad it was just Bella and me. It provided me the freedom to be chill and not worry about giving anyone the wrong idea about my intentions with this girl. If Emmett or Jasper knew I'd let her shoot my prized 1911, they would make a big deal about it, and I don't need their grade school bullshit. The only reason I pulled my baby out of the glove box was that it didn't jam; it was lighter and easier to handle than the Glock.
As I explained what kind of gun she would be shooting with and how many bullets it had, the kid sighed. When I looked up to read her face, she wasn't paying attention and even rolled her eyes.
The attitude pissed me off, and I snapped. "What's the problem?"
"I just…" She fucking sighed again. "I don't see the point in all this detail. A gun is just a gun."
"A gun is not just a gun." Jesus. She had no clue about anything. Why would I be going over all this if all she had to do was shoot the damn thing? "You have to know what you got in your hand before you even think about using it."
She blushed and giggled. "Is that an invitation?"
The immature comment reminded me of how young she was, and that led me to question my choices. What the fuck was I doing with this girl? Why was I blurring the lines between giving her a place to stay and pursuing her? I had to get my shit together and fast.
Glowering at her, I kept my voice curt. "Do you want to shoot my gun or not?"
Bella smirked but didn't say what was on her mind. If she did, I'm sure my attraction for her would've disappeared. The gap in our ages would be too hard for me to ignore.
Instead, she grew the fuck up and got serious.
"Yes. I'm sorry. Please continue," she said.
"All right, like I was saying, it has eleven rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber. Here." I handed Bella the gun, and the change in her was instant.
No longer was it a joke, but the real deal. That reaction of excitement, deep breathing, and arousal was all there again. I forgot what I was complaining about and knew I had to touch the girl.
Placing my grip on the kid's hips, I angled her towards the desert and kept our bodies close. That perfume she wore was infiltrating my nose again, and as discreetly as possible, I inhaled it all in. My mind got hazy for a second, and I lost track of my hands. They wandered along her body, over her small waist and the slight curve of her breasts. I realized what I was doing mid-motion and pretended it was all about helping her get a better grip on my 1911.
The kid was talking, and I forced myself to hear her.
"If this thing is so special to you, why are you allowing me to practice with it?"
"It doesn't jam, and the recoil isn't as bad as the Glock. Here." I didn't need to interlock our fingers, but I liked the feel of her soft skin. "Make sure you hold it tight with both hands. You got it?"
She nodded.
"Now, raise the gun."
She did, but as I bent low to get a visual of her aim, my chin rubbed against her bare shoulder, and she giggled. I yanked her back into me as she stepped forward. If we were going to get this first shot right, she was going to have to stop squirming and trust me.
"Lock your elbows and grip it tightly."
"Okay."
Squinting my eyes, I could see she was straight. Backing off to give her room, I watched from a few feet away. I didn't want to hover and get my face blown off by accident.
"Put your finger on the trigger," I said, and, surprisingly, she listened. "Now, the safety's off. All you got to do is pull the trigger, but it's still new, and you're going to have to squeeze it, okay?"
Bella took in a steady breath. "Okay."
Her stance was good. She placed her feet evenly and had a sturdy base; even her arms were locked out and not shaking. Without firing a shot, kid stood out like a pro.
Fucking-A, it turned me on.
I needed a closer look.
Getting within inches of her ear, I whispered some encouragement, "That's a good girl."
She had a quick intake of breath and tensed even more. That slip of the tongue affected her, and the danger between us was imminent. If I continued to get too close, I'd burn to ashes, but I was a fucking idiot and couldn't leave it alone.
"Listen carefully." My hands went into fists, and I put them behind my back to prevent myself from touching her. "The recoil is going to be powerful for someone like you who's never shot a gun before. Just keep your elbows straight and try to anticipate as much as the kickback as possible. Got it?"
"For sure."
It took a lot of effort, but I forced myself to step away from her.
That's when she panicked. "How crazy is the recoil?"
How she flip-flopped from being confident to scared kept me on my toes, but the hesitancy was cute to me, and I chuckled. "It's not bad, but you're a newbie. Do what I tell you and keep those elbows locked."
"Oh, …okay."
Nothing happened. Bella was waiting for me.
"Are you ready?"
"No! Yes. Maybe. I don't know."
I couldn't see her face from where I was standing, but in my head, she was biting her lip and looking way too beautiful.
"Take your time. There's no rush. Pull the trigger when you're ready."
Bella hadn't moved an inch. She kept her arms raised and locked. I wondered if she would ever find the courage. What if she needed me close? It was a stupid thing to do for two reasons: the gun could be too much, and she loses control, killing her or myself instantly, or the more likely one of the two, I would cross a line.
"What if it blows up in my face?" she said in a soft, timid voice.
I laughed. "It's not going to blow up in your face. Trust me."
"I can't do this!"
Fuck the consequences. I took the chance and got close. My hands were on her hips, and I jerked her hard against me.
"Yes, you can." I didn't give a shit if my mouth was on her neck. "Aim and fire."
Bella stiffened up her arms and pulled the trigger. The gun went off, but the force of the recoil and the nervous tension she held in her body backfired. It was too late for me to stop the barrel from popping up and hitting her on the nose.
"Fuck!" I snagged the gun away from her hands and placed it on the ground by my feet. Spinning Bella around, I pushed the hair away from her face to make sure there wasn't any burns or cuts. "Baby, look at me. Are you hurt?"
She winced in pain. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure? It didn't look fine from where I was standing." A red blotch formed on the bridge of her nose, turning into a deep purple. I touched it without thinking. "It might bruise."
"Great! I'm fine. Really. In fact," she gave me that mischievous, no good for me or my fucking sanity, smile, "I want to do it again."
Bella wasn't like anyone I'd ever known. The gun whacks her in the face, but she doesn't cry or call it a quits. No, the kid shrugged it off and wanted more.
It was fucking sexy.
I was in trouble.
Things grew intense between us as I stared at her mouth and argued with myself about kissing it. Just one more time, I kept saying, and the more I said it, the more it made sense to me.
Who would it hurt?
We were alone.
No one would know ever about it.
Pushing all rational thought aside, I leaned down to press my lips to hers but stopped when she gasped. My eyes snapped open, and I saw how much she trusted me.
What did I expect to happen once I crossed that line again?
I'm not looking to be her boyfriend.
The girl needed a friend.
And what about my fucking sanity?
I hated to use drug analogy, because Bella wasn't my addiction or a vice, and kissing her wouldn't be the same as getting a shot full of heroin into my vein, but I knew one taste of her would put me on a binge.
I wouldn't be able to stop myself.
It was best to never to know what I was missing and keep my distance.
Pulling back from the fire, I doused myself with ice.
Bella stared at me, confused, but I looked away when she realized I'd rejected her. I'm an asshole for getting this poor girl's hopes up.
I had to stop touching her.
More space between us was what we needed, and I step back even further. I shut myself down and treated our venture out into the desert as a lesson—for me, mainly.
Never get too close.
Ignoring her stare, I gestured the focus back towards her target and repeated for the last time, "Lock your arms."
Bella was getting better at shooting as the afternoon wore on. She'd completely went through my cheap stock of bullets, and I was going through my expensive hollow points instead of cutting shit short.
The girl was a glutton for the trigger.
It reminded me of my first time with a gun. I liked the loud pop and the force of the recoil. I'd also enjoyed hitting my mark with precise accuracy. The first guy I killed from a distance with a small .22 caliber handgun was like creating fucking art. I was drunk, eyes bloodshot and blurry, but I still managed to hit that fucker right in the center of his forehead from about fifty feet away.
Pop. Pop. Pop.
Bella was about out, and there's a full magazine ready for her in my back pocket, but this would be the last one.
It was getting late, I was fucking hungry, and I still had to cancel my plans at the pool hall with my family. It wasn't safe to leave the kid unattended at my apartment, and I couldn't introduce her to Jasper and Alice.
Not yet.
They would assume the girl was special to me and make Bella think there's more between us than there was, and I didn't have the energy to set people straight.
I heard the clicking sound of the 1911 and smiled.
Glancing up, I connected with her eyes as she yelled to me that she was out.
"No shit," I muttered. Bella's face squinted at me, confused and not hearing one goddamn thing I said. "Can you hear me, little one, or are you deaf yet?"
"What?" she shouted.
With a chuckle, I kicked off the car and handed Bella the magazine. "I said, are you deaf yet?"
She stepped closer without realizing, but we had boundaries, and I couldn't remain to be playful with her. It wasn't easy, this act of mine of staying disinterested, but I'd shut my mind down, and I got back into robotic mode.
"What? I can't hear you," Bella whispered, showing that she heard me just fine, but it was cute how she thought she was sly. Grabbing a small fistful of my shirt, the kid tugged on it to pull me down, and I followed along, selfishly wanting to be near her mouth.
But I never lost control, and despite what she assumed she knew about me, I didn't fall easy for a woman, or in her case, a girl—no matter how much I wanted them.
"Can you hear me?" I whispered back.
She gulped and nodded.
"Good," I said and stood up straight. "We should go." Taking the gun out of her hands, I rewrapped it in the white cloth. It'll need cleaning later, but considering I'd shot it off only a handful of times, it held up nicely. It was a smart and safe choice for Bella's first time. "You did good, kid."
"You did well," she snapped back.
"What?" I tilted my head to the side as I read her expression. "Wait…" She was upset with me, but more than that, the girl was looking down on me, like I was some fumbling, mumbling moron. "Are you fucking correcting my grammar?"
She threw her hand up dismissively and stomped past me. "Forget it."
Tucking the 1911 in the back of my jeans, I followed her. She stood outside the Chevelle, yanking up on the handles and trying her best to get in, but I had the keys.
The kid wasn't going anywhere without me.
When she realized this, she swung around and found me already there. I liked this flustered, pissed off version of her. It made her cheeks flush red and her bottom lip quiver.
"Why did you take me out shooting?" she asked and stepped away to distance herself from me, but we were well past that shit now.
"Because you wanted me to," I said, matching her step for step around the car.
"That's the only reason?" Bella knew that was a lie and called me out on it. "There's nothing else?"
We danced around each other, and when I got the chance, I took it and pinned her up against the side of my car. The girl was tiny and easy to hold without exerting much force. I liked how meek she was on the outside and raged with nothing but fire on the inside.
She stared up at me; her eyes filled with questions.
"Ask me what you want to ask me," I said, and expected her to scold my shitty behavior, but she panicked, looking away and chickening out. Nah, I wasn't letting the girl off that easy. "Fucking ask me!"
And just like that, I lit her wick, and she came bursting out of her skin. "Why didn't you kiss me?"
At first, I'd misheard her, thinking she asked me why I'd kissed her. "What?"
"You were going to kiss me, but at the last minute you didn't, why?" she asked, and I relaxed, fucking relieved she didn't know about my slip last night, but she continued to yell. "Is it the age thing?"
No, baby girl, I silently answered. It's not because you're illegal—in fact, your purity makes you more tempting.
"Because if you're worried about that, I'll have you know that I'm turning eighteen on September 13th. That's, like, in three months. Ninety days to be exact."
I smiled and repeated the date in my head. "I'll be sure to mark that on my calendar."
"I don't care that you're old."
What the fuck?
I was older than her, but I wasn't geriatric.
"I'm not old."
She shrugged and pouted her lip with mocked sympathy. "You're twenty-eight. That's two years away from thirty. That's old."
Bella was a kid—a sweet, innocent, and too fucking young for me, which raised the question.
"So, why would you want an old man to kiss you then?" I bent my head down and got within the dangerous territory of her lips. She was breathing hard and begging me to kiss her.
And I would've too if she didn't make me laugh.
"I've got daddy issues?"
"Jesus, kid. What am I going to do with you?"
Bella wasn't lying. If there was a positive father-figure in her life, would she want to get with a loser like me? Nah, I bet she would be into the jock type or the clean-cut boy with a scholarship to an Ivy League school. He'd take care of her and having her popping out babies left and right.
"Is it really about my age?" she whispered. "Or something else?"
Something else, I thought.
With the image of the perfect life Bella could have with Johnny B. Goode, I was never going to be that for her and groaned with frustration. "You don't want to get mixed up with someone like me."
"I'm kind of already am."
My head snapped up, and the look she gave me said it all—I've led her on, but worse than that, I'd given her the wrong idea about me.
"No, you're not. You're still good." If I don't get her out of my life soon, she won't be. "I don't want to ruin that."
"I'm not as good as you think I am." Bella shoved me in my chest. It caught me off guard, and I stumbled back, but she was a kitten.
"No, I'm pretty sure you are."
"Really?" she shouted at me and looked so beautiful in her anger. My eyes glanced down at her body. The frame was small and thin, too thin for my liking, but with a few meals; I could fatten her up in all the right places. "Well, I do believe last night you caught me trying to steal your car. Good girls don't steal cars."
"Yeah, but you didn't do that because you wanted to, and let's be fucking real here, all right?" I moved in closer to remind her who was in control. "You got your piss poor techniques from watching movies, not through experience."
That was the only way to explain why she thought the screwdriver and hanger would work—Jesus Christ, I'm still laughing over that shit.
"So? What difference does that make? If you're so concerned with my amateur skills, why don't you teach me?"
Goddammit, she frustrated me to no end as a massive headache pounded between my eyes. I had to squeeze the bridge of my nose to keep my cool.
"Boosting cars isn't something you can put on your resume, kid."
She scoffed. "I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed."
"What?" I caught her arm before she had a chance to walk away from me.
When I read her face, it was clear. The resolution of her future now set in stone, and it shocked me.
"You're choosing a life of crime now?" I shouldn't have brought her out there to shoot my gun. "Do you know how crazy that sounds?" Sixteen hours ago, I was going to kill the girl, but out in the desert, I found myself trying to talk sense into her. "No one chooses this life." Hard times makes you a criminal. Either you're desperate for drugs or poor as fuck, but not because it looks like fun. Okay, some assholes do that shit but not most. "All right? It chooses you."
Kid yanked her arm out of grasp and glared.
Okay. That was the wrong move. I shouldn't be touching. Taking a step back, I gave us both a chance to breathe.
"Why did it choose you?" she asked.
Interesting question, indeed.
I grew up wealthy and didn't rob people because of money. I'm not an addict. Only did heroin once, coke a few times, and weed wasn't a drug. So, why did this life of crime choose me? When I look at her eyes, I think she knows, and that made her ten-times more stunning and desirable.
"I'm the exception."
Bella never did what I expected, and instead of giving up, she dug her heels in deeper. "That makes two of us."
The right thing to do was to shake her until she sees reason, but would it help? My mind was warring with me; I had two choices, but neither of them was what I wanted. Either ditch the kid at some shelter or let her in—and that meant introducing her to my family. Then they'll think Bella was more to me than some, what? That's where my thinking would get foggy.
It'd been less than a day, for fuck's sake!
What was I thinking of bringing her into my world?
"Fine!" I relented and regretted it. She smirked, because she won, and since all bets were off, fuck it with keeping my distance. My feet moved quickly, I was on her, pressing our bodies together and putting her on edge. "Are you hungry?"
She shrugged like it didn't matter, but I felt her heart pounding hard against my chest. "Maybe a little."
"Let's get out of here and go grab something to eat." Leaning in until there wasn't an inch between us, I touched her slightly, and her breath hitched, and body stiffened. Casually grazing my knuckles against her ribs, I pretended it was an accident and merely a way for me to reach around and unlock the car door. "And then afterward, little brave one, I'll take you to meet my family."
AN: last post for the night. I'll do a couple tomorrow. See you soon..
