Volume 7: So I'm An Adult, So What?
Chapter 1: Blessing This Dark Angel With A Meetup!
Part 1
Aqua became an NFT.
I thought she was joking at the start, but the reality started to hit me after I saw that some simp bought her NFT for 1 million yen.
"Aqua, how could you?"
I said to her, when she showed me the transaction.
We were in her place, sitting around her PC. I was leaning over her shoulder while Aqua showed me the NFT she just sold.
At the very least, Aqua was a surprisingly good artist. At least the NFT was actually good quality, unlike most of those monkey ones I saw going around.
"What's the matter? If this guy has some money to spare, then it's fine, right?"
"...How do you know that he has money to spare and that he's not some lunatic who spent all his savings to buy your NFT?"
"If he's actually like that, then he would have spent his money somewhere else. Isn't it better if I'm the one who gets the money?"
"I'm not sure that's much better."
Aqua's streaming career was as strong as ever, even while she was busy with university. We were in our second year of university, with only one more semester to go before we reached our third year.
In any case, since Aqua's career was still going strong, when she released an NFT, it actually sold for a high amount.
"Hehe… Can't I make a career out of this? Instead of seriously streaming or even going into acting, selling NFTs might make me more money…"
Aqua said, with a dangerous expression on her face. She tried to hide it from me when I looked at her, but I already caught a glimpse of her horrible expression on the reflection of her monitor.
"Are you actually going to take this NFT thing seriously?"
"Why not? It's not like I'm losing anything by making NFTs. It only takes me five minutes to draw up the assets for them."
"...What about your reputation? People are surely roasting you online for taking advantage of your fanbase."
What about her own dignity and self-image, for that matter?
"Do you think I became a successful streamer by actually caring about what internet randos think? I'm the one getting paid and getting laid, while they're basing their entire personalities on whatever godawful corner of the internet they fell in."
She shrugged while giving a shit eating grin. Even though she had an innocent face, she sure said a lot of horrible things sometimes.
"Well, if you're sure about this… I don't think it's sustainable, though."
"I know it's not sustainable, which is why I'm thinking about taking advantage of the hype before it dies. I'm thinking of announcing my retirement and releasing a limited edition NFT to commemorate the event. Lots of people will bid for that NFT, thinking that I'll never return. I'll take a break for a couple months and come back."
"They'll never forgive you if you actually did that!"
Aqua got lucky so far. She managed to protect her career even when she had the entirety of 2chin going against her. I didn't think that even she could survive with this absurd plan of hers.
Just when I was wondering why Aqua was saying all these things…
…I saw the trashcan next to her computer desk. It was filled with empty beer cans.
She turned twenty a few months ago, reaching the legal drinking age. Ever since then, she had been taking every opportunity to drink.
I didn't think that she'd end up being this much of a drunkard.
"Oi, no more beer for the rest of the week."
"Burp… Huh?! You can't do that to me, Kazuma! You have no right! Hic!"
Once she sobered up, I got her to agree that her whole retirement plan was a terrible idea.
Part 2
Unlike Aqua, my streaming schedule had decreased ever since I became a university student.
As a result, I was barely getting 1,000 concurrent viewers to my streams.
Dark+Angel was making fun of me for it.
"Pfft! What happened to you, K-kun? You used to be able to pull 10k viewers easily…"
She said, after we finished a collab stream playing a new expansion in the MMO we always played together. Ever since she became a vtuber and started collabing with Megumin and other vtubers, her numbers and fanbase only kept growing.
"...You're so ungrateful. You wouldn't have a career without me!"
I said, reminding her that I was the one who started promoting her even before she became vtuber.
"...I'm just joking. Did I upset you?"
I didn't expect to hear that insecure voice from her.
"Of course I'm joking. I don't really care about streaming, anyway."
I was only doing it for some pocket money and the viewers themselves sensed that. There was a world of difference between a legitimate pro-streamer like Aqua compared to someone like me, who only viewed it as a profitable hobby.
"I never really said it, but I'm truly grateful that you helped me start my career. It's embarrassing to say but… I was a NEET relying on my parents' money before I started streaming."
"Oh, wow. Really?"
I tried to sound surprised.
"Yeah… I know that it's hard to believe, coming from a cute girl like me."
I found it very easy to believe.
I sighed and said,
"Look, I didn't even think you'd blow up like you did, so it's not like you have to thank me. I was just using you for content since it's hard to stream on my own."
That was why I often did collabs with Dark+Angel, or Megumin and Aqua.
I gained quite a nasty reputation as a leech that way.
More precisely, they called me 'the playboy leech who goes after the cutest girls'.
"I'm still grateful, though… If you didn't have a girlfriend, I'd invite you out to a love hotel or something."
That made me pause. Not because I was attracted to the offer of going to a love hotel with her, but I was reminded of the time when she offered me a nude selfie, back when we were still in high school.
"...Do you always offer favors like that?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"I mean… Do you always offer sexual favors to guys?"
She was free to have as many relationships and sexual encounters as she wanted, but if she was having sex with guys just because she felt like she owed them, that didn't make me feel good.
"...Sometimes. Do you find it gross?"
"I wouldn't say it's gross… It's just that I think that you should value yourself more."
"...It's not my fault that most guys would give me what I want if I just sleep with them, or send them nudes. And if a guy does me a favor, of course I'd want to repay the favor."
"And sexual stuff is the only way you can think to pay them back?"
"I guess I can give them money? I want to save up, though. It's not like I expect this whole streaming thing to last forever."
Maybe she just had a different moral system than me, or maybe I wasn't really in the right position to tell her what to do in her life, and I should just mind my own business.
I wanted to understand, though. Sure, I wanted to help her out since I considered her one of the few close friends I had, but I also wanted to see things from another person's perspective, especially one that was different from my own. Maybe the feeling of wanting to understand other people comes with growing up. Whatever the case may be, I found myself wanting to know more about Dark+Angel.
"Say… Do you want to meet up sometime?"
"So you're taking up the love hotel offer? Don't worry, I won't tell Aqua-san. Unless she's down to join?"
"That's not what I meant! I just wanna hang out normally!"
"Well… Fine, I guess."
After exchanging IRL contact info, I hung up the call and sighed, leaning against my chair.
What a troublesome girl…
I called up Aqua, who had just finished streaming. She seemed exhausted when she picked up the phone.
"Aqua… I arranged plans to meet Dark+Angel…"
"Ah… You're finally gonna cheat on me, huh?"
"Why is that your first instinct?!"
"Well, you've been looking at me with contempt ever since I became an NFT. During sex, I heard you muttering to yourself, 'Ugh… I can't believe I'm having sex with an NFT'..."
"...You heard that? This doesn't have anything to do with that! I'm just meeting her to hang out!"
"Suuure. Well, if you do cheat on me, at least have the courtesy to tell me afterwards instead of hiding it from me like some scumbag. I'll kill you if you do that."
"...Why are you so confident that I'd cheat on you?"
"You seem like the type who'd want to build a harem if you got the chance."
I wanted to fully deny her, but I couldn't completely deny the fact that I did have that fantasy…
Still, a fantasy was still just a fantasy.
"Ugh… Whatever, I just wanted to tell you! Good night! And don't go drinking again!"
"Gah! How did you know?!"
She was probably already reaching into her fridge for a can of beer while we were in the middle of talking.
Part 3
Dark+Angel was admittedly very cute.
She sent me a photo of her before we met up. It turns out that she lived in Tokyo, too. We agreed to meet up at a family restaurant. She gave me her first name, which was Kuroko. I expected to see some slutty e-girl wearing a gothic lolita cosplay, but she wore a light pink hoodie and a knee-length cream skirt. She had her black hair tied into a ponytail by a yellow scrunchie.
"Sup."
She said, raising her hand when I found her already seated at a table.
"...So you're Dark+Angel, huh?"
She blushed when I called her by her online handle.
"Just call me Kuroko, damn it. That's embarrassing as hell…"
"Even though you don't mind it at all online…"
"Well, that's different, just act normal, K-kun!"
"Ugh… Just call me Kazuma."
"See how embarrassing it is?"
"Don't compare my online handle to yours. At least my name isn't chuuni."
She was already drinking an iced coffee. I ordered a melon soda.
While I was sipping my drink, Kuroko was staring at me intently.
"...What?"
"So, how did a hottie like Aqua-san start going out with a loser like you?"
"Damn, you're rude!"
I thought that she'd be a bit more polite and reserved in real life.
"I'm just telling it how it is. I mean, you're not ugly or anything, but you do know that she's way out of your league, right?"
I rolled my eyes as I set my drink down, slouching into the cushions of the leather seat.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's not like I don't get constantly reminded by our classmates."
I was pretty sure that the school's male population was waiting and praying for us to break up. It was the same in high school, but university dudes are way more persistent and entitled. If Aqua wasn't so oblivious, she would have noticed all the guys who were actively trying to get her to cheat on me.
"It must be pretty nerve wracking, dating a girl like that, not knowing when she'll decide to cheat on you with a much better looking guy."
"Actually, there was this guy who had a huge crush on her in high school. He was the captain of the soccer team."
"Seriously? Do you have pictures?"
I showed her a picture of Mitsurugi. It was the group picture I took during our graduation.
After I pointed him out, she grabbed my phone and stared at it with a big grin.
"Wow, he's so hot! Do you have any more pictures of him?! Preferably half naked ones! I bet he has killer abs…"
"Why the hell would I have those kinds of pictures?"
Once she had my phone, she kept scrolling through my gallery.
"...What are you doing?"
I asked, once she kept swiping around.
"Looking for all your lewd pictures with Aqua-san, of course. Huh? You don't have any?"
Why would I keep those in my phone?
I had a special folder for that on my PC.
"Wait, who are these other girls?"
She showed me pictures I took with Mea-chan and Konno-san.
"Oh… Those are just some female friends I have."
"You have a beautiful girlfriend like Aqua-san and you're still cheating on her? Ugh… I knew it, all guys are the same."
At first I thought she was just making a random comment, but I sensed a deeper meaning in those words.
"...Kuroko, did you have any previous trouble with men?"
She raised an eyebrow before handing my phone back to me.
"Too many to count. All the guys I dated in the past all cheated on me. I got tired of it, so I started making my relationships open from then on."
"Open… as in you can date other guys and your boyfriend can date other girls? That seems fair."
"Nah. They always get pissed off if I date other guys, but they're fine if it's open in the sense that they're free to date other girls."
…If that was the way her previous boyfriends treated her, I could understand the reason behind her low self-esteem, or rather the way she viewed her own worth when men were involved.
She was used to being treated like an object. That was why she traded her own body for favors, even to guys online she's never met. After all, if they're all just gonna treat you like trash, might as well get something out of it in exchange.
Before it becomes painful, just turn it into a transaction. At least you'll feel a semblance of control.
"They're all just assholes. You'll meet someone who'll treat you right someday."
She didn't look impressed by what I said.
"Wow, gee, thanks. That's the most generic advice I ever got outside of those inspirational quotes you find posted on social media."
"They're the same words, but I really do care about you. I hope you realize that."
I felt my own face getting red before she started blushing as well.
"What the hell? Was that a confession or something?"
"Why does everything have to be about romance or sex?! I just care about you because we've spent enough time that I consider you important. Isn't that enough?"
Her face got even redder. She crumpled up a napkin into a ball and threw it on my face.
"Alright, what's your angle? You wanna go to a love hotel, huh? You want to cheat on your girlfriend?"
"I told you, not everything has to revolve around that. You offered me your nudes and other weird favors in the past before, and I never accepted them, right?"
"...I figured you were just scared of the cops."
I did recall that there was that one dude who got arrested for stalking her. It was a while ago, so I kinda forgot about it.
"I-In any case, like you said, I'm already dating a girl who's way beyond my league. Why would I do anything to endanger that? If I play my cards right, I can get married to such a Perfect 10 beautiful girl in the future. Why would I risk all that for a fling with an 8/10 like you?"
"8/10?! Well… That's a pretty generous evaluation, I think?"
"By the way, I think Mea-chan is an 8.5/10, and Konno-san is a 9/10."
"...Why am I lower than them?"
"Well, your looks might be on their level, but your personality takes a whole point away from the scale…"
"Going by that evaluation, you're a 1/10, Kazuma."
I thought that she'd get angry, but she turned it back on me and managed to roast me harder than I did her.
"So what was the point you're trying to make? All I got out of this is that you think I'm the least attractive girl in your life."
She sighed and sipped her coffee, leaning her chin against her palm.
"My point is that I actually care about you, even if you're not gonna sleep with me, or send me nudes, or anything else. And since I care about you, I don't want you offering your body to other guys you don't give two shits about. I mean, sure, if you find a guy attractive and you just wanna hook up with him for a good time, go ahead, but if you're doing it just to gain a favor, or because they're forcing you to… I don't want you to do that."
"You're talking like you're my dad."
"Well, considering you clearly have daddy issues, I guess I have to play that role."
"Oh, you're such a bastard."
I didn't know if I could say that my meeting with Dark+Angel was a success, but at least it didn't turn out too bad.
I mean, the coffee she poured on me would probably stain my shirt, but it wasn't anything a trip to the dry cleaner couldn't fix.
Chapter 2: Worries For This New Adult!
Part 1
Going from my third year to my fourth year, I felt like the days were merging together into a blend of redundancy. Sometimes routines provide comfort, sometimes they just kinda ruin you.
It wasn't like I was depressed or anything. I had Aqua and I made a few friends in university to hang out with outside of my friend group from high school. I could also hang out with Kuroko or Konno-san whenever I wanted. I'm just saying that there's something kind of mind numbing about doing the same thing over and over again.
You'd think that in a big city like Tokyo, there would be a lot more amusing things to do in your free time. While that was true, there was also something claustrophobic about being surrounded by skyscrapers all day, and don't even get me started about the cramped trains and the crowds.
At least in a small, rural town, there was a lot of space and you knew most of the people around. In a place like Tokyo, you become acutely aware of your place in the world as nothing but an anonymous speck in the crowd.
"Maybe we should just change it up a bit."
Aqua said, when I told her about how I was feeling. She went on,
"I mean, it seems like you're just bored of the same thing over and over."
"What should we do?"
"Let's go drive to the beach."
"But it's in the middle of the night."
We were at my place, watching some TV. It was already 10 pm, and Aqua was saying something like 'let's go to the beach'.
"I told you, didn't I? Let's just change it up a bit. Maybe that'll get you out of your funk."
We put on our jackets and headed to the beach. The good thing about being a university student was that you could just put on a school jacket and joggers, and that was somehow socially acceptable enough to go out with. If someone a bit older did the same thing, people would consider them a slob or unemployed.
We got on my corolla and drove out to the beach, following the directions on Aqua's phone. She wanted to stop by a fast food place and we got burgers, fries and milkshakes. We continued the drive while Aqua fed me fries.
When we got there, the beach was empty. A half-moon was out. I could barely see the stars due to the city lights that were ever present within the boundaries of Tokyo. Aqua took off her shoes and socks and ran to the beach, kicking up sand. She asked to do the same. I followed after her, yelping when I felt the cold sand stick to my feet. She laughed at me.
We got used to the cold sand eventually and walked around, listening to the waves creeping to the shore. The ocean was a moving plane of darkness. At night it didn't even look like water, more like an organic stretch of shadows.
We took out a blanket and sat down, taking out our oily bag of unhealthy junk food and eating it while we stared out at the black sea. The dark waters were interspersed by shimmering moonlight carried by the rocking waves.
Going from crowded streets to an empty beach was quite a dramatic change. Maybe Aqua was right. All I needed was a change of pace.
While sitting and eating, we talked about the usual things, school, gossip, Aqua's streaming career, the kind of things that you'd usually forget about the next day. She put on some music on her phone while we talked and watched the waves.
"Let's dance. Come on."
I thought she was joking, but she started dancing to 'Shin Takarajima' by Sakanaction, playing from her phone.
"Come on, Kazuma. It's not like anyone's watching."
"You're watching, and I know you'll laugh. I can't dance."
"I won't laugh. Come on, it'll be fun."
I sighed, finished my milkshake and stood up to dance with her.
She didn't just laugh. She absolutely lost her shit.
"You said you wouldn't laugh."
She was clutching her stomach and wheezing when she saw me try to dance.
"Why you…!"
I grabbed her and tickled her, making her laugh even more.
We danced for the next thirty minutes. We even slow danced, with her holding my shoulders and me holding her waist, pulling her close.
Eventually, it got too dark and too cold to stay there any longer. We cleaned up and went back to the car.
"You feeling better?"
She asked, once she took her seat.
"Yeah. You're right. I guess I did need a change of pace."
"I love you."
She surprised me, since we never really went out of our way to say things like that to each other.
"Yeah, I love you, too."
She smiled and leaned over to kiss me. It was somewhat uncomfortable in the car, but I leaned in to meet her kiss.
I tried to pull away to start the car, but she held my chin in place and resumed the kiss.
A simple kiss turned into a heated makeout session.
"Aqua, let's go home first."
"Let's just do it here."
"Seriously? In the car?"
"I thought guys like these kinda things?"
I had to admit, I was a bit curious.
As our bodies joined together, hoping that the darkness that swept over the entire city hid our moment of passion, I knew that this moment would be one that sticks in my memory, one that I'd come back to when I got into a slump again. We all have memories like those, memories that help us keep it together when it all gets too much.
I'd keep this memory in my heart, dancing in the darkness with the girl I loved, while a sea of shadows swathed in moonlight swept over the shore.
Part 2
"What do you think about working for us after you graduate, Kazuma-san?"
Claire said this to me, after I finished my tutoring session with Iris.
We were in the living room. Rain had served us tea and snacks before Claire brought up this topic.
Since there was a serious mood around them, I initially thought that I was in trouble, that they found out that I had been making Iris watch anime and read light novels and manga during the past couple years I tutored her.
"Well, I am looking for clients after I become a pro-tutor."
I tried not to make it show on my face that I was banking on them hiring me after I graduated and became a proper educator.
"Please reserve a slot for Iris-sama. We'll make sure to pay handsomely, even if it is your first official job as a tutor."
Since they saw the results beforehand, they knew that they could trust me to do my job well. I didn't need to prove my worth to them. It was a good thing I listened to my career counselor about taking on volunteering opportunities.
Claire also told me that she'd recommend me to other clients connected to Iris's family. Since they were all wealthy families, I could look forward to a lucrative career as an exclusive tutor for rich kids.
I didn't think that my career would start this splendidly, but I did work hard to get to this point.
…Well, I spent most of my time with Iris watching anime and reading Light Novels.
They didn't need to know that. Besides, who cares about the method if it works?
I was surprised that Claire had already prepared a contract. She asked me if I wanted a legal representative to look it over. I didn't have a lawyer, nor did I want to pay for one. After reading through the contract, while trusting that Claire wouldn't try to screw me over, I signed it.
Rain smirked and said,
"Heh. Can't believe he fell for it."
"Huh?! What did I sign?!"
"Claire-dono switched out the papers for marriage papers at the last second. Congratulations, you two!"
"I-I did not! Rain-dono, please shut up?!"
Rain giggled, showing that it was just a little prank.
I found out only fairly recently that Claire had a bit of a crush on me.
Since she was at that age where finding a marriage partner was becoming important, as a man who was close to her, and a man who she found to be capable and trustworthy, I suppose it wasn't too strange for her to find me attractive.
I didn't really talk about my personal life, and they never asked. As such, they didn't know that I already had a girlfriend.
Bringing it up now felt awkward, but for the sake of a professional relationship moving forward, I decided to say something.
"My girlfriend will be happy to hear about my career taking off to a good start."
I made sure to say it casually, without letting out the fact that I was trying to turn down Claire gently.
At least, that was the plan.
Claire went silent and still, her lips frozen into a thin smile.
Rain sighed and slowly walked away. She wasn't even going to try and participate in this, huh?
"G-G-Girlfriend?"
Claire said, after not saying a word for a solid two minutes.
"Yeah, we've been dating since highschool."
"S-S-Since high school?"
Once she got over her shock, she once again put on her persona as a high class lady.
"I see… I find it hard to believe that there's a girl out there who is deserving of Kazuma-san's long-term affections. I won't judge if you tell me that she's just a simple girl you keep around as entertainment."
…Do people really talk like this outside of those villainess isekai Light Novels?
And it was the other way around. I was the one who was way out of Aqua's league.
I suppose it was a bit flattering to hear that a woman like Claire had such a high opinion of me, though.
…Or maybe she was just getting desperate to find a marriage partner.
Someone marry her already.
"No, no, it's nothing like that. It's a serious relationship."
"Hmph… Can I see a picture of this girl? Anything less than a celebrity or idol is undeserving of Kazuma-san… Gahhh?!"
She let out a pained scream when I showed her a picture of Aqua.
"...T-This… This must be the work of a filter, right?! Goodness gracious, the lengths that girls these days will go to alter their image! Show me one where she's not using a filter, or makeup for that matter!"
I looked for a picture of Aqua in her home clothes, without makeup.
Claire stared at it blankly.
"...M-May you two continue to have happiness in the future."
"Thanks…"
I felt bad, but it was better than leading her on.
"Um… H-How does Kazuma-san feel about the concept of mistresses…? Haha… I'm just kidding… U-Unless…?"
Someone. Please marry her already.
…
…
After dealing with Claire, I went over to Iris's room to tell her about the news.
She was in highschool now, having grown quite a bit since I first met her.
"Onii-sama!"
She had gotten to calling me 'onii-sama' over the years.
Since I had always wanted a non-blood related little sister who was affectionate towards me… A wish that had gotten me beaten up by my parents before… I was happy about the way Iris called me 'onii-sama'.
As I understood it, she had a big brother back in her home country, but they had a pretty cold relationship, since they spent so much time away from each other. I didn't mind playing the big brother role for her, although I did wish that she called me 'onii-chan' or something a bit more informal.
"I'm gonna get paid for teaching you now. That means I can buy you more anime and Light Novels."
"Yay~!"
Maybe I could even count it as a business expense and charge the purchases on her family's account?
Then again, that would mean that they'd see all the anime I was buying for her. I scrapped the idea.
"I'm happy, onii-sama."
She said, after we sat down, leaning against her bed as we started reading manga.
"Yeah, I'm gonna make lots of money now. Hehe…"
"I'm happy for onii-sama, but I'm more happy about the fact that you can keep tutoring me from now on."
She had a relieved smile on her face.
"...Did you think that our tutoring sessions would stop after I graduated, or something?"
"Yeah… You're going to graduate soon, right?"
I nodded. A few more months and I'd get my Education degree.
It was surreal, thinking about it. I knew that my parents were really looking forward to seeing me get my degree. I just hoped that they wouldn't cry again and go on about me being a NEET before, like they did when I got my highschool diploma.
"What's it like, onii-sama? I mean, what's it like to work really hard for something and then finally getting it?"
"Are you telling me that you've never had that feeling before, Iris? You worked hard to get your Japanese scores up."
She wasn't top of her class yet, but she was at least nearing fluency.
"I don't know… A university degree is something different, isn't it? It's one thing to get a good score on a high school exam, but a degree is one of the things that defines a person's legacy."
Say what you will about whether a university education was actually important or not, but there is no denying that your perception towards other people changes depending on your alma mater, or whether you have a degree or not.
Perhaps it was unfair to classify people in this way, but that's just how society works.
"...It hasn't happened to me yet, you know? I don't have my degree yet, so I wouldn't know how it feels."
She blushed, feeling embarrassed that she got ahead of herself.
"Sorry…"
"Nah, it's fine. I think it won't really feel all that different, at least in my case. It wasn't like being a tutor was my dream growing up."
"It wasn't? But you work so hard towards your Education degree!"
"I do it because if I don't, I won't have a reliable source of income in the future. I only chose Education since I seem to have a knack for it, but having a talent or aptitude for something doesn't mean that it's your dream or passion."
"And what's your passion, onii-sama?"
"...I don't know if it's a passion or anything, but I just want to protect my current lifestyle. I don't want to have to worry about bills or anything like that in the future. I want to live a comfortable life."
I was working hard to provide for the life that Aqua and I imagined for our future.
If her streaming career didn't work out, or her backup career as an actress, then at least we'd have my tutoring career to fall back to, and Aqua could work on getting another career, or perhaps focus on being a housewife.
"Onii-sama, I didn't know that you were so unambitious!"
"There's billions of people in this world, Iris. If all of them aimed for some kind of lofty dream, we wouldn't have anyone doing all the mundane work that keeps the world going. Not everyone is built for greater things, but realistic and sustainable happiness is freely available to those who work hard for it, and those who are fortunate enough to live in a society that rewards hard work."
I wouldn't call myself an overly patriotic person, but I was happy to live in a country like Japan, which was considered a 'first-world country'. There were many places around the world where hard work wasn't enough. It was an unfortunate truth of reality. Rather than feeling proud of my achievements, I could only be grateful that I was born in an environment that allowed me to have those achievements in the first place.
"I see…"
Iris tilted her head towards the ceiling, looking thoughtful.
"Do you have any dreams, Iris?"
"...I'm not sure about dreams, but I want to explore the world. Any kind of job that'd let me do that is fine."
Since Iris had a sheltered childhood, she wanted to spread her wings and see what the world was like.
"I see. Then I'll help you achieve your dream, Iris. It's my job, after all."
"I thought your job was just to tutor me in subjects I'm bad at?"
"I'm talking about my job as your onii-sama."
I rubbed her hair, making her giggle sweetly.
Part 3
With graduation drawing near, the group got together in Tokyo to watch our commencement.
The others already graduated earlier, which Aqua and I attended. Mitsurugi didn't have his official commencement yet, but we attended his last game as a soccer player. It was very emotional when he left the field for the last time and the fans cheered his name over and over.
He became the captain of the team for his final year, just like he was in High School. The guy was a natural leader.
As for Konno-san, while she was keeping up her idol activities, she was also doing some stage performances on the side.
We watched one of these performances while the group was in Tokyo. While Aqua focused her degree more on acting, Konno-san focused on dance and song performance, since it would help with her career as an idol.
We were watching her dance as part of a musical production. She was a background dancer, and while she didn't have any speaking parts, she definitely stood out.
While we were watching, Mea-chan who was sitting beside me whispered,
"...Aren't you a bit concerned about Konno-san?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well… I don't want to say this while we're here watching her, but isn't it hard to make a living as a performer?"
While she was technically right, Konno-san was already a popular idol who was making more money than all of us in the group combined.
Of course, Mea-chan had no way to know that, which was why she was concerned.
She didn't know about Aqua's streaming activities either, but she didn't express any concerns about her. Maybe that was because she knew that I was around to provide for Aqua, while Konno-san didn't have anyone like that.
Already, my friends were assuming that Aqua was going to be a housewife in the future. They didn't know that she earned way more than I'll ever make, even as a full-time tutor.
"I'm not too worried. She's Konno-san, after all. I just don't see her failing."
"That's true. I mean, when she's not wearing her glasses, she's really beautiful."
Since it was the first time they'd seen Konno-san without her glasses, they were shocked to see how beautiful she really was. She was an idol class beauty, after all. She still had her hair tied in a long braid, though, since she didn't want to give away her identity to the audience.
"How about you, Mea-chan? Did you find an internship yet?"
Mea-chan and the others, aside from Mitsurugi who was aiming to play pro, were going down the typical corporate route. As such, they were desperately applying for places during the important recruitment season.
She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder for support, before glancing up at me with those big eyes of hers. If I was a guy who didn't have a girlfriend already, I would have fallen for her right then and there.
"...I got two offers already, but I did some research and they were both well-known black companies. They have an awful reputation for overworking their employees and for workplace sexual harassment."
Her normally expressive eyes lost their color as she talked about her issues finding work.
Mea-chan had always been a carefree, bubbly girl. Even when she was struggling during exam period, she always maintained her spirited smile. I almost wished that I didn't bring the subject up. It was strange to see her like this, subdued and pessimistic.
"I went on an interview with this one company, but the interviewer was totally trying to undress me with his eyes. He was also asking irrelevant things like if I was single or dating anyone currently. It was totally creepy, so I just ignored the job offer when they called back."
"Why didn't you report him?"
"I don't even have an internship yet. What if he calls his buddies from other companies and they blackball me out of spite? It's not worth it."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that…"
"Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault or anything."
It wasn't my fault, but the fact that I couldn't do anything for her made me feel like shit. She was saying it like it was normal, too. Maybe it was a testament to her maturity that she could talk about this like it wasn't a big deal. Maybe that was just part of being an adult, recognizing the fact that there were a lot of dark things in society that you just had to live with.
I knew it was impossible, but a part of me wished that I could preserve her innocence. This went for everyone else in the group. It was fine now, but what if Konno-san was subjected to even worse harassment in the idol industry? No one liked to talk about it, but it existed. What if the sausages ended up in exploitative black companies? What if Mitsurugi ended up in a pro team that treated their new players like they were expendable?
Aqua and I weren't free from doubts about our future, either. A streamer's career was full of doubts. She was making a lot of money now, but would she even have a career five years into the future? Would she have saved up enough money by the time she fell off?
As for me, tutoring was based on temporary contracts that could be terminated at any time. If I couldn't find work, what would I do? Would I have to switch over to a more traditional teaching job?
While I was deep in my thoughts, Konno-san's performance was already over. Everyone in the group was applauding her. I clapped as well, while looking at Konno-san's smiling face on the stage.
Part 4
After Konno-san's performance, we went over to a yakiniku place to celebrate. Since everyone was legally allowed to drink, there were beer mugs going around. While everyone was already prepared to drink as much as they could, I took slow, deliberate sips.
Konno-san, who went back to class rep mode, noticed my glum mood.
"What's the matter, Kazuma-san?"
I set the mug of beer down and said,
"Just got something on my mind."
"Care to share?"
I thought about it. Konno-san gave me a lot of good advice in the past.
"Alright, if you're willing to lend an ear."
Since the yakiniku place was too crowded for a private conversation, we stepped outside.
The moon was obscured by gray clouds. It was a Friday night and the streets of Tokyo were filled with party-goers and people just looking to have a good time. The streets were bright with lights from lamps, cars and stores that would be open all night. During the day, you'd see conservative suits and uniforms heading to and from offices and schools. During the night, you'd see girls in revealing dresses, salarymen with their shirts unbuttoned, already drunk out of their minds.
The people roaming the Tokyo streets at night always seemed to me like they were compensating for the bullshit they had to put up with in the day. The way they laughed, squealed, yelled, it all seemed just a bit exaggerated, an effort to sonically expel the stress out of their system.
With all this going around us, I talked to Konno-san about my worries for the future. She listened patiently, and when I was done talking, she said,
"I think it just means you're officially an adult now, Kazuma-san."
"You mean I wasn't an adult before?"
"I mean, you might have been a legal adult, but I think that the second you start worrying about the future, that's when you truly become an adult."
"...I worried about the future in High School, too."
"You worried about exams and romance. That hardly counts as adult things. Taxes, bills, employment… I think when those things occupy the place in your brain that worries all the time, that's when you can start to call yourself an adult."
"If that's true, then I don't like being an adult."
"Who does? I don't think maturity is something that comes with age, anyway. There are lots of kids out there who are forced to become mature at an early age, whether it's due to a death in their family or some other unfortunate circumstance. Being an adult isn't a state of being, it's what happens when you start to take life seriously, when you let go of the illusory comfort of your youth and start to see the world for what it really is."
She was smiling while talking about uncomfortable truths that I didn't really want to hear.
"...I'm kinda scared to be honest."
Some part of me wondered if it would have been easier to stay as a NEET, locked up in my room, playing video games all day. I didn't have to think about anything, or make any hard decisions. I didn't have to worry. My parents were the kind of lenient parents who wouldn't dare kick me out, even if I stayed as a NEET into my thirties.
I knew for a fact that, if I stayed like that, I'd look at someone like me who had a girlfriend and a future and I'd envy them. I'd regret the choices I made that led to me becoming a shut-in forever. In that kind of pitiful scenario, I'd probably keep watching Aqua's streams and spend all day jerking off to her, not knowing that I could have made her my girlfriend if I had the courage to step outside into the real world and put in the effort to improve myself.
"...I guess we'll just have to keep working hard, then. That way, the worries will stay as worries."
Konno-san smiled and nodded.
"That's right. If you're only worrying now, that means that nothing bad has happened yet."
"...Who's to say that nothing bad will happen, though? In most stories, something bad always happens near the end. That's how the formula goes, anyway."
"Well, life isn't like those stories, are they? There's no formula, no need for forced conflict or a rising action. Life is just a meandering, plotless story that kind of goes on and on. Sure, bad things may happen to you, but those events are random and unforeseen. Even then, you just have to go along with it, take your blows, and go on fighting to earn back your happiness."
I was right. Konno-san gave good advice.
We went back to the others and rejoined them in the celebration.
"Yosh! Time to pull out the party tricks! Nature's Beauty!"
A drunk Aqua took out some fans that she pulled out of nowhere and started doing some parlor tricks.
The entire restaurant was captivated by her performance.
Chapter 3: The First Fight For This Couple!
Part 1
On the day of commencement, just like I predicted, my parents were crying and sobbing when I finally got on stage and received my degree.
They didn't look too out of place among the parents who were crying for their children, but they were still crying way too much. Kazuto was with them, although he didn't shed a single tear. He was too busy flirting with Kome-chan. Megumin was also there, taking pictures for my father since he was too busy hugging my mother and crying into her blouse.
I was surprised that Kuroko came along. She was sitting with Mea-chan and the others. Since she was cute, the sausages started hitting on her. I made sure to tell their girlfriends about that later.
After the ceremony was done, we moved over to the courtyard. Aqua's parents couldn't make it, and I was angry that they wouldn't even show up to their daughter's graduation ceremony. Aqua didn't even seem bothered by it at all.
"It's fine. I know they're busy with a lot of stuff."
"Still… They already missed your high school graduation, and now you're saying it's fine for them to miss your university graduation? I haven't even met them face-to-face yet!"
I had a few calls with them. I thought that they were just avoiding me since they didn't approve of me as Aqua's boyfriend, which I could understand completely, considering how Aqua could probably aim for a way better guy than me, but that wasn't the case. They were fine with me and said that they trusted Aqua's decision. The call barely lasted five minutes before they had to hang up, attending to their work.
They were both surgeons who worked at a hospital abroad. Not only that, they were the best of the best. As such, they were busy 24/7 and didn't even have time to fly out and attend their daughter's graduation ceremony.
"They're saving lives, Kazuma. I can't exactly fault them for that."
They were saving lives but missing out on their daughter's, huh?
I couldn't exactly understand the reasoning.
Then again, if there weren't doctors like that who dedicated their lives to saving people, what would the world look like?
I remembered my parent's words, about parents sacrificing for their children. In this case, Aqua's parents were sacrificing their child for the sake of the greater good of humanity.
Good for them, but I guess I was too small minded for such lofty goals. I just wanted to pursue my own personal happiness. I wasn't cut out for a life like that. Would I have become a NEET in the first place if I was?
"Oi, can you two stop bickering and kiss for the camera?"
Megumin said, resuming her duties as the cameraman, while my father was blowing his nose on a napkin.
I sighed and put aside my complaints for Aqua's parents and leaned in for a kiss. Megumin smiled and snapped lots of pictures.
"And with that, I guess only Mitsurugi has yet to graduate, huh?"
One of the sausages said, teasing Mitsurugi as the only one who hadn't graduated yet.
"...I already considered my last game as my graduation."
Mitsurugi said, ignoring his friends' attempts at teasing him. The whole time, he was looking at Aqua with a smile.
I felt bad that his first real love didn't work out for him, and I was the one who came in between that, but I couldn't imagine a world in which Mitsurugi couldn't find another girl. He was probably gonna become an excellent pro-soccer player. He was gonna drive around in exotic sports cars and date even more exotic supermodels. He was gonna be just fine.
…Maybe someday Aqua would even consider him as 'the one who got away'.
I shook my head, trying not to think about things like that.
"Alright! Let's get wasted again!"
"It's party time!"
The sausages were already wanting to drink. It was still noon.
These guys were getting too used to boozing.
…
…
Since Aqua and I didn't want to get our graduation gowns dirty, we went back to my dorm to change. I already had some of Aqua's casual clothes in my place, since she came over so much. Her bra and panties were scattered around my bed, leftovers from last night's romp.
While I was watching her change into a hoodie and joggers, I said,
"...You sure you're not mad about your parents not coming?"
"Kazuma, I thought we already went over this?"
She didn't show it earlier, but I saw her frown in annoyance now that we were alone.
That was what I was afraid of, that Aqua was just putting on an act in front of the others.
"They didn't even bother to call. I sent them the time and everything."
"Did you forget how timezones work? They're probably passed out, exhausted from operating for ten hours straight on a child with a brain tumor. They're heroes, Kazuma. It's one thing if they're abusive or doing this on purpose, but they're literally saving lives."
"...It just puts a bad taste in my mouth, that's all."
"We just grew up with different circumstances. You can't imagine having your parents not attending birthday parties, or missing out on graduations. That concept is alien to you, it might even seem cruel. But for me, that's life. It's always been like this."
"That doesn't make it right, the fact that you're used to it. It just makes me even more pissed off."
"You don't need to be pissed off for my sake."
"I love you, it comes with the territory."
"If you love me, you'll drop this."
I tried to drop it. Aqua and I had never fought before, not really. We argued about silly things, but we never fought. The one time we were close to fighting was when she made some stupid crypto investment and almost lost all of our money. There was nothing worth really fighting over, until now. I felt like this was something we had to fight over.
"I'm just saying that out of all the life events they could miss, they shouldn't have missed your fucking graduation ceremony. What, are they gonna miss your wedding next? Are you still gonna defend them when my dad has to walk you up the aisle?"
I went too far and I knew it, but I was already enraged at that point. I wanted her to be angry at them. I wanted her to complain, to call them shitty parents. I couldn't stand her making one excuse after another for her always absent parents.
Aqua dropped the joggers she was trying to put on and marched over to me with just her hoodie and panties on. She was glaring as she walked over.
"You're telling me that they should abandon all the lives that need saving and come all the way to Japan to see some old dude give a piece of paper to me? Don't be an idiot, Kazuma! It's not worth it! They'll probably send some expensive jewelry or something to make up for it! That's worth way more than showing up!"
"Do you honestly believe that, or are you just trying to convince yourself?"
She bit her lip. I could tell that she didn't want to think about it, to face the reality of her own feelings. She had been burying her loneliness this whole time. I spent enough time in Aqua's old condo to know how much she missed her parents. They were never around. The place was always dark and lonely. It was never a home.
They never visited, not once. Not to any birthday parties, not even after she graduated high school. They were lucky that Aqua was a strong girl, that she ended up as a decent person despite being abandoned for so long. Or maybe it was because they knew that she was strong that they felt it was fine to leave her alone, let her raise herself.
"Whatever. Don't bring this up again. Seriously, I might actually break up with you if you make such a big deal out of this."
"That's not fair. I'm just worried about you."
She smiled and kissed me.
"I don't want to fight. Not today."
"Fine."
"Let's go now."
She put her joggers on and picked up her purse. I followed her outside. We were quiet when we got into the car. When we got to the restaurant the others picked, Aqua was back to her cheery self. No one noticed anything. Her acting classes paid off.
Part 2
Like Aqua predicted, her parents sent her a very expensive gift. It was a 70 carat aquamarine necklace. Apparently it cost them about 14,000 USD, or around 2,000,000 yen. Aqua was overjoyed to receive it and wore it around her neck at all times, shamelessly showing off her new accessory.
The expensive condo, the designer clothes, the jewelry… Did they really think that those things would be enough to excuse their absence?
Maybe Aqua was right. Maybe I should just mind my own business. Not every family is the same, but that doesn't mean that one method of keeping one together is necessarily better than the other. Some plants die if you water it too much.
I wanted to ask Konno-san for advice again, but she had a big idol event coming up and I didn't want to give her more stress. Mea-chan was my other go-to person for advice, but she was more loyal to Aqua than she was to me. She'd probably snitch if I told her about this.
And that was how I ended up meeting Kuroko in the same family restaurant where we first met up.
This place had become our default meeting place. She was wearing a denim jacket over a casual beige dress. I felt a bit weird still wearing my school apparel, but I had gotten too used to the convenience and comfort of baggy hoodies and loose joggers. They were just too easy to change into and walk around in.
"...Aren't you a working adult now? Why are you still walking around dressed as a university student?"
She said, smirking as she sat down.
I rolled my eyes.
"So, what did you want to talk about? Did Aqua-san finally give you permission to sleep with me?"
Even though I got her to agree to value herself more, she was still constantly teasing me about this topic. I knew it was just a joke to her, so I didn't mind. At least, I hoped it was just a joke.
I told her about my problems with Aqua's parents, and if she knew what I should do moving forward.
"...I see. Well, my parents are absent all the time, too, but it's not for any noble reason. They're just shitty parents."
"Ah, sorry…"
She waved it off, saying it wasn't my fault.
"All I know is that the way she's defending them is just a self-defense mechanism. I used to do that, too. It's better to just pretend like everything is fine and normal than to face the harsh reality."
So my suspicions were right. Aqua was just putting on a brave face.
"What do I do, then?"
"You have to decide what you value more, your relationship with Aqua-san, or Aqua-san herself?"
"...What do you mean by that? Don't the two go hand in hand?"
She grinned and shook her head.
"Nope. You said so herself, didn't you? She made a threat. If you bring this up again, she might break up with you."
"I figured she just said that in the heat of the moment."
"Not necessarily. People have boundaries, lines you shouldn't cross. It's clear that this is her line, her boundary. She seems to be the lenient kind of girlfriend. If you cheat on her, it'll probably hurt her less than if you bring up the topic of her parents again. It's clear that her parents are a serious source of trauma for her, even if she doesn't show it."
And she never showed it. I didn't even know it was a sore topic until I brought it up on our graduation day. I should have known, though. Seeing how empty her condo was, how they were never around, how little I saw them talk to her, how little interest they showed in their daughter's first boyfriend.
Would they even care if I got her pregnant?
"So you're saying that if I care about our relationship, I shouldn't bring this up again?"
"Yup. You can keep having a smoking hot girlfriend and keep enjoying whatever kind of sexy things you two do in bed. Not a lot of guys with your face can get with a girl like her, you know? It'll be a waste if you break up."
"Gee, thanks."
She chuckled when I frowned at her basically saying that I'd have no hope of pulling a girl like Aqua ever again if we broke up. She was telling the truth, but it still hurt.
"But… If you care about Aqua-san as a person, even if you know it'll damage your relationship forever, then you'll do whatever it takes to help her fix her relationship with her parents."
"...Does it really need to be so drastic? Why can't I maintain the relationship and fix her problems at the same time?"
"Because life isn't so easy. Tell me, how would you go about helping her parents spend more time with her? Tell them to visit her more? They're one of the best surgeons in the world, right? They can't just leave anytime they want. But there's a simple solution, isn't there? Instead of making them come here, why don't you just get Aqua-san to come abroad and live with them? That way, they can spend as much time together as they want, so much that they'll eventually get sick of each other."
I understood what she was talking about.
The relationship or Aqua herself, what did I value more?
In terms of her career, Aqua could stream anywhere. It didn't matter which country she was in, as long as she had internet connection. She finished her education. She had her degree. It wouldn't surprise me if her parents had already asked her to come and join them abroad.
…What if they already did?
"Aqua's staying here because of me."
Kuroko gave a sad smile and placed a hand on my shoulder, once I finally realized it.
"Who knows? You know her better than me. But maybe there's a reason why she got so defensive when you brought up her parents, huh? Maybe her parents only left her here to finish her education. Now that that's dealt with, they can fly her over abroad and spend as much time as they want as a family… But where would that leave you? You spent the last four years working hard for the sake of your futures together. Can she just ask you to move abroad with her, when you already have wealthy clients here in Japan?"
My list of clients was growing, thanks to Claire's recommendation. Sure, I might be able to find work abroad, but would I be lucky enough to come across another network of wealthy clients?
As I stayed silent, soaking all of this in, Kuroko held my face and said,
"So, pick what you want. Do you want to maintain the status quo that you worked so hard to protect, or do you want to give it all up for Aqua's happiness? I think she'll be happy either way, but she'll also lose things, no matter what. If she chooses you, she loses her family. If she chooses her family, she loses you."
"...She didn't even tell me if she made that choice yet."
"She loves you. Why would she ever tell you that you're in the way of her happiness?"
When the waiter arrived to take our orders, Kuroko ordered for me while I thought about everything she told me.
I was content to protect the status quo, but life was already showing me how foolish it was to try and twist reality into something that I could take comfort in. The truth was that comfort doesn't last forever. Reality will always make you decide what you want to keep and what you want to leave behind. Aqua's parents chose to keep their careers. Aqua chose to keep me. Now, it was up to me to make my own decision, of what I should keep and what I should let go.
Part 3
"You did what?!"
Aqua cried, smacking her hands on the table.
We were in her old condo. Since we weren't students anymore, we couldn't stay in the dorms. While we were looking for a place to live in Tokyo, we went back to our hometown, with me staying at my family's house, and Aqua staying in her condo.
I had just presented a plane ticket to Aqua, telling her that it'd take her to her parents.
"The flight is in a week. I already briefly spoke with your parents and they told me they're excited that you're coming over."
"What makes you think you can do this without my permission?!"
"You never told me that your parents wanted you to move in with them, but you stayed here because of me."
They told me that she was supposed to move back as soon as she graduated High School. They wanted her to get her degree from a university abroad, but Aqua insisted on staying here. She did it for my sake.
She had already made her choice, long ago.
She went quiet, looking away from me.
"...It was my choice."
"And are you saying I don't get a choice in the matter?"
"You were so excited about going to the same university together. You said that you'll be my backup plan if my streaming career fails. What happened to that?"
"...Your parents have enough money to send you a 70 carat aquamarine gem as a graduation present. Your parents are your backup plan. It was arrogant of me to assume things."
I wanted to make myself relevant in her life so badly. What was I thinking? She didn't need me, never did. I acted as if I was doing her a favor, insisting that I wanted to be her safety net, in case her streaming career failed. I was just holding her back, more than anything.
If my entire contribution to her future was a safety net in case she failed in her professional ambitions, then I wasn't much help to begin with. For one thing, Aqua will never fail in anything she does. All I provided was a worthless promise of insurance that will never be useful. I was just trying to find a way to justify why she'd need me, why she couldn't leave me behind for better opportunities.
"...I want to stay here, Kazuma. I want to stay here with you. We're already looking for an apartment in Tokyo, right?"
I pushed the ticket towards her. I said,
"Look, I'm not telling you to go away forever. Just see them. Make your decision after you've properly spent time with them. I just don't want you to make a blind decision because of me. I want to know that you won't have any regrets, before we take our relationship any further."
She stared at the ticket.
She raised her hand, letting it hover over the ticket. Her fingers reached out for it, before she drew them in a closed fist. I reached my hands out and gently unfurled her fist. I turned her hand over, palm side up, then took the ticket and placed it on top, closing her fingers around it.
I smiled and held her closed hand.
"It's been years since you last saw them. Just go. They miss you, too."
It would have been so easy if they were bad people, if they didn't care. I only talked with them briefly, but I could see it in their eyes, how much they cared for Aqua. The only thing stopping them from rowing to Japan on a boat by themselves was their duty and obligation to save people.
She sighed and nodded.
"...The flight is in a week, right?"
"Yeah."
"Let's pick out an apartment by then."
"Let's not."
"Why not?"
"Because you'll feel obligated to come back. What if you want to stay with your parents?"
"Let's just pick one out, anyway."
"What's the point? It'll just be a waste of down payment if you decide you'd rather stay."
"I just want a home I can come back to. You'll do that for me, right? Even… Even if I don't come back?"
I looked into her eyes. They were sad but there was resolve in them. That was how I knew that Aqua didn't really need me. Even if she was sad, even if things were going wrong, she always had power in her eyes.
"Alright. Let's look for a place."
Even if she leaves forever, even if she never comes back, she wants me to wait for her.
It was a painfully selfish request, but it was one I was more than happy to fulfill.
She endured the same thing, living in that lonely condo by herself, for all those years.
I'll wait for her, in a place that has yet to become a home, waiting in darkness that might never see any light.
...
...
A/N: Next upload will the be conclusion of the story. Thank you for reading this far and for the reviews.
